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358 pages, Paperback
First published July 27, 2015
I love that she didn’t just want me. She wanted us. All three of us.
“I love you buddy.” He looks up from his train set and he smiles. And I realize it then; what everyone always tells me. His eyes may be like his mother’s, but his smile is mine. His happiness belongs to me.
Kick. Push. Coast. Time to coast, son.
“We were sixteen and pregnant. And at the time—we were happy.”
“Do you have a safe place, Becca?”
“Yes, I whisper. You.”
“I love that she didn’t just want me. She wanted us. All three of us.”
"That's it. Now all you have to do is kick and then push."
"There are some sacrifices greater than love. And some loves greater than any sacrifice. Tommy's greater than both."
"I wake up every morning. That's it. There are no hidden secrets, no words of wisdom or encouragement. I wake up. Breathe new air. And fall even deeper in love with a kid I created."Things settle down, Josh and Tommy have a good life, that's when Becca comes into the picture. She is Chazarae's granddaughter and will be staying at her house for a while. She didn't have it easy in life while growing up, she can't bear to be touched and have problems with speaking. But who can resist an adorable little boy that Tommy is? Tommy slowly, unconsciously breaks her walls down. While getting close to Tommy, Becca and Josh also forms a bond, a bond that from friendship turns into relationship and a beautiful love story.
"Seriously, how many times can a person break before the only things left are shattered fragments too small to piece back together?"When you think that nothing good, except Tommy, will ever happen to Josh anymore, finally there is a ray of hope.
"Kick. Push. Coast. Time to coast, son."And he coasts. At last, Josh is giving himself a chance and goes back to what he always loved, skating, and he is damned good doing it too. His sport career unwinds, he has his son Tommy by his side and he's finally getting to know what being happy feels like, at least as much as he can be happy, given the circumstances. And I was happy for him too, because seriously, after all that boy went through, he deserved it.
"Look who beautiful he is. How happy he is. You did that, Josh. You gave him a life worth smiling about.”
"There are some sacrifices greater than love. And some loves greater than any sacrifice. Tommy’s greater than both."
"You know what comes after you kick and push? You coast. Coast with me, Emerald Eyes?”
“I just want them to see me—a dad who’ll do anything for his kid. But people are assholes and they’ll choose not to see that.”
She’ll know that I’m falling in love with her. And that means she has the power. The power to destroy me.
"Do you have a safe place, Becca?"
I release a shaky breath, but I can't seem to look away. "Yes," I whisper. And I hesitate, just for a moment, from telling him the truth. "You."
"There's an ache in my chest, not from the beating of my heart, but from the breaking. Still, for some reason, I want more of whatever is causing the pain."I liken the feeling to the Hulk (Jay McLean's words) smashing Loki (my heart):
"I packed my shit and left. No one would ever call my child a mistake. No one."But even with the chaos of his new life, having a child, being without parents himself, and giving up his dream of skating, all at sixteen years old, he never regrets Tommy.
"There are some sacrifices greater than love. And some loves greater than any sacrifice. Tommy's greater than both."He treats everything in a very simple matter, everything he does is in an effort to give his son the best life he can.
"I kind of want to share something with you, you know? And maybe next weekend we can do something with your photography?"I don't know why, but this was so significant for me, the fact that he wanted to immerse her in his world and vice versa. It wasn't just a one-way street. He didn't want one passion to overshadow the other, he wanted to combine their lives equally.
"No one's ever said I was beautiful before." - BeccaHe tells her she's beautiful and special like they're facts.
"Clearly, you're surrounding yourself with either the blind, the stupid, or the pathetic." - Josh
"Do you have a safe place, Becca?"And for a short while things are perfect, but things that start fast and bright rarely last, as Josh and Becca quickly learn. Because Becca was never meant to stay with him, her plans had always included moving on. And while Josh has been so busy keeping his head up, moving forward, and trying to ignore the sting of all those who've abandoned him: his parents, Tommy's mother, her parents, and even his friend, Hunter, as he began living his own life, he's never dealt with the pain of it all. Of losing his family, his love of skating, his support. And now he must face losing her.
"Yes," I whisper. And I hesitate, just for a moment, from telling him the truth. "You."
"Our raw imperfections make us real and make us human but they don't make us."GAH! How does she write so freaking perfectly?! I'm green with envy.
“There are some sacrifices greater than love. And some loves greater than any sacrifice. Tommy’s greater than both.”
“There’s a big difference between being happy and being selfish. Choose to be happy. Fire Truck the rest.”
“I see you, Josh.”
“There are many things in my future that absolutely terrify me, but loving you for the rest of it isn’t one of them."
“Fire truck yeah, I’m afraid. You’ve seen me in social situations, right? I mean, you were there at Michael’s bachelor party when I told the stripper her tits were perfect for breastfeeding.”
I have to let you go because you’re my drug, and I’m your poison.So, when I first saw this book I was intrigued by the young single dad thing and I shelved it and thought of it on occasion but made no real move to pick it up. Then, I saw it was being offered in the NABC read it/review it program and was super stoked, I wanted it. I was under the assumption that this book would be a bit sad and a bit of a struggle, I mean, he's a single dad after all, there's bound to be some struggles; but I thought he'd meet a nice girl they'd all get along swell with his kid, maybe she'd have a bit of a crisis about being a mother figure so young but they'd be happy end of story. Simple. Easy. Sweet. Oh boy, was I wrong.
The first chapter is a nice swift dagger to the heart. Just instant pain. Then, the author swiftly built my hopes up and I was grinning like a fool at my iPhone, but I could feel that uncertainty niggling at the back of my mind because the hope was building so quickly and so high, I was afraid for when it would come crashing down around me and Josh, Becca, and Tommy. Where you forget all about that initial pain, so much so you hardly know what pain is anymore and then you hit this point in the story and you look down to realize the authors been slowly stabbing you 1000 other times you were just too distracted to realize it and now you can't do anything about it.![]()
My description probably sounds a bit unpleasant and I don't mean it that way. It was brilliant. My stabbing was so beautifully executed there's no way I could be even a little bit angry about it. This book packed so much emotion, so much heartache into it, I was floored. I had to seek out a buddy part way through my reading because I NEEDED to talk about it (s/o to my girl Loyda!). It was an amazing read.![]()
Some things will always be beautiful, even in the face of death.This is long and rambley and maybe a bit confusing but I just had so many feels after this book. It was so good and I'm ashamed that I ever thought it would be a sweet, easy, mediocre book. It's so much more. I'm not really big on suggesting books, it causes me anxiety unless I'm SUPER familiar with all your literary likes/dislikes but I'm gunna suggest this one. Blanket suggestion. Go for it. It's awesome.
4.5 STARS