The Boys Are Back

by Simon Carr

After his wife's death, Simon Carr was left with the task of raising their two young boys alone. Moving yet humorous, it tells the story of Carr's relatively rule-free household, recounting his successes and his failures as a parent, and acting as a guide for those dealing with grief and parenting hand-in-hand.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Autobiography

240 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2000

Reviews

[Caroline · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first two-thirds or so of this memoir, about raising his young son after his wife's death from cancer, is so honest and funny and real; I found myself underlining passages on nearly every page. Carr's a great writer, and kept a detailed journal of life with his boy. As he writes in one passage, "You think you're going to remember every moment but children's conversation is so odd, so unlike anything we do later, so original -- we just don't have a frame of reference to hold memories in place. It's like talking to a lunatic -- you have to record it to remember it."
But the end of the book is much looser, given to sort of rambly musings on movies, sex ed, popular culture, and whatever else occurs to him. It's not a memoir of family life anymore, but a series of observations inspired by conversations with his son. And I found that far less compelling.

[Petra Be · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bit chaotic. It's as if random memories and thoughts are thrown in in no particular order and some bits feel so unrelated to anything else in the book that I wonder why they're even there. Also randon people are mentioned that weren't mentioned before or after and are we supposed to know who they are? It seems that the author only considers worth mentioning whatever the younger son does or says if it's somewhat related to sex (without the kid knowing of course), there's hardly anything else about Alexander's actions, unless he's sulking. Also in some ways Hugo seems to be more mature than his father and his being responsible seems to irritate his father to no end.
There are some bits that were quite interesting to read though.

[Leanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved this movie and I really enjoyed the book too even though the movie quite departs from the facts of the story of Simon Carr's experience of raising his two sons, Hugo and Alexander, after the death of his wife Susie. Carr's technique in wholly avoiding touching on the topic of his own grief surrounding his wife's death is completely effective in conveying his feelings about it. Instead he weaves the impact of that significant event through his focus on running his household without a female influence. He writes with much candour and wry wit and captures the quirkiness of kids by retelling (quite amusing) stories about his boys from the diary he kept at the time. Towards the end, the story sort of veers off from funny, insightful memoir into slightly more inane views on various topics, which are less entertaining and engaging than the rest of the book.

[Lorna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have a very soft spot for stories of solo-fathers doing great jobs at parenting! This was a very awesome read and I loved Simon's unconventional honesty about topics we would normally shy away from!

[Bex · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars, a bit of a confused mess. I’m still not sure what happened or when but it featured some good moments of adventure and interesting development of parenting skills.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

A refreshing viewpoint on raising boys, he writes superbly and hilariously, loved it.

[Stewart · Rating 3 out of 5]

Simon Carr's memoir describes how he came to raise his two sons as a single father, and his adventures in trying to parent them in this rather unorthodox family unit. Carr tells his engaging story with remarkably self-depreciating candor and wit, and he is equally effective at movingly conveying his devastation and bewilderment at the death of his wife from cancer, and the resulting effect on his youngest son.

Carr's memoir is on firmest-footing when he describes how, as head of an all-male family, he struggles -- and, to comic effect, fails -- to run a traditional household. The boys gleefully run wild, with few chores or restrictions, much to the nervousness of their friends' mothers, who are raising their kids in a much more protective environment.

The Boys Are Back in Town, however, suffers from Carr's many defensive detours into the underlying rationales behind his laissez-faire parenting techniques. He seems to feel his child-raising choices are so off-the-wall that he needs to justify them to the reader; they aren't, and he doesn't. His memoir is not illuminated in the slightest by, for example, his fawning over The Simpsons and South Park, or his awkward and overly forthright descriptions of his childhood sexual experiences (is he purposefully torturing his sons by discussing the latter in such detail?) These and other unnecessary asides only detract from what is otherwise an often moving and funny look into the life of an all-male household.

[tina]

another airport acquisition that i'm embarrassed about--look at how big clive owen's picture is. it's a pin-up. cover aside, as a work of nonfiction by someone who has been through major trauma, i expected this to be revelatory. don't you think of revelation when you look at clive owen? instead it was strangely detached. plus, carr is ultra reductionist, which is kind of boring. although some insights are entertaining (how Carr's world is ruined when life alters his mind's prerecorded videotape) but i guess i expected more.
*plug for the movie-the movie is very, very nice & rich. liked it quite a bit

[amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though at times I disagreed with him (and I don't even have kids yet) it was really interesting to read Carr's insights on living in an exclusively male household. As a widower raising one young son plus an older one from a previous marriage, Carr is earnest and honest about the struggles of being a single parent, particularly a father. I didn't particularly care for his writing but it did make me think about fatherhood in a different way.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't enjoy the start of the book but as it progressed, it was easier to understand the main characters decisions. I really enjoyed the middle part of the book where he talks about his wife and the effects of her death on himself and his son. It was touching to read about the ups and downs of his home relationships and the gradual moving on with life with just his sons. The end dragged a little but overall I enjoyed the rawness of this novel and the brutal honesty.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author of this book relates the tale of his wife's death and his utter incompetence (at first!)as he attempts to raise their 5-year-oldson plus his son from a previous marriage. It's full of pathos and also very funny--he is quite witty--but ultimately I lost interest as the last half of the book wanders off into his ultra-liberal views on child rearing.

[Christine Sinclair · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simon Carr has such a unique voice and outlook! His wife's death from cancer becomes the catalyst for building a real relationship with his two sons. It completely surprised me how funny this book is; a very difficult situation viewed in a laugh-out-loud way, yet still touching. Amazing! Even though my used copy looked like it fell into a bathtub, I still loved it. Flawed but fun, like life.

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book about a single father raising his boys alone after the death of his wife. A house full of boys, they create a unique home life that suits them perfectly, but may not be very tidy. Often funny, this book made me smile. Every family is unique. I enjoyed reading about this one and the ways they have made things work for them.

[Yellowbelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having 4 sons I have often wondered just how they would cope if I were not there. This book gives an insight into how life could be. Not quite Lord of the Flies but having some feral moments. I think like Simon and his family they would survive just fine.

[Landall · Rating 5 out of 5]

a good read. loved it, and it reminded me a lot of warren and his boys and my photo project about them

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Made me cry.

[Hardeep · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good fast read, funny

[Ann Moser · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very honest and real, good book... Could have been more developed towards the end ...

[Mbojar · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some insightful and cute stories - but I felt like I was reading a series of columns instead of a complete story. Why and how does Hugo come and go????

[Tyler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Charming, entertaining and insightful. A quick, easy read.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cleverly written and surprisingly endearing. Very good read.

[Pamela · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book was fantastic!