This book was gifted to me in the most beautiful way. I started a new job three days before the pandemic stay-at-home order began, and I was very intrigued by a new co-worker. She is a native Kentuckian and has the most mellifluous speaking voice and she says some of the most beautifully bananas things. She’s a jazz singer and reiki master. She enjoys ice baths and on a zoom call, she said she was “creatively blocked so I’m focusing on my spiritual health by connecting with nature.” She always wears a hat and talks about “the animating spirit, some call it God, Buddha, Allah, it’s all the same for me....”
In the three days before the pandemic began, I was so into being her friend. Her energy just drew me in. We had had lunch together one day and she and I skipped the small talk and went straight to the good stuff. I love people like that. I peppered her with questions and she was open and vulnerable and interesting and was also interested in me. I was really excited to get to know this person specifically because I love the truly woo-woo people in my life.
I exist spiritually inside a deep contradiction - I am both spiritual and deeply skeptical. I do yoga and meditate and go to therapy and can tell you my enneagram number and I read Thich Naht Hanh and all that jazz but I don’t believe in a lot of spiritual woo woo nonsense. I have had reiki sessions and while I enjoyed it I didn’t believe it. I believe in modern medicine and I believe that you can’t meditate your way out of negative emotions when things are bad. I am curious about religion and ritual but practice none of my own, having been raised Catholic, married a Jewish man, and raised my kids without a religious affiliation outside of “seders are great, let’s express our gratitude before we eat dinner.”
So....
I returned to work recently and I was delighted to see that after months of being sheltered at home with the same three people, I was scheduled on the same day as my co-worker. I work at a historical property in the woods by a rambling creek, and it is a truly beautiful workplace. We sat together by the river on a quiet day without a lot of guests and asked each other about how our experience over the last few difficult months have been. How did we cope? How are our families? What did we do to keep ourselves centered and sane?
I told her honestly and openly that it had been hard for me, particularly with respect to my daughter, who as a high school senior and soon-to-be college freshman, the timing of this crisis is a personal cataclysm of loss and uncertainty. I shared that I had been leaning into a certain kind of meditation - metta or lovingkindness meditation - to try to bring a soft responsiveness and compassion to my daughter and to myself as I absorb her stress and pain.
Her eyes got wide and she shared that she had an extra copy of a book in her car that she had been intending to return to the store where she bought it, packaged up and ready to go, but she was procrastinating going into the post office because...coronavirus. This is the book. The Gentle Art of Blessing. She felt very convicted that the book was meant for me, and that it was a way of her to bless me in my struggles and that the universe made sure the book got into my hands.
The idea behind this book is that you bless everything, all the time. So as a former Catholic, blessing has a specific meaning to me, but this is much more of a power of positive thinking sort of thing. A blessing is an intention or a pure wish of good for yourself, for others, and for the world. You bless yourself, your family, your pain, your torments. The blessing forms a protective shield for you and then it activates the “universal laws of.....”
See? This is where is loses me. I believe in the power of meditation and blessing to adjust your thoughts and help you carry your bad feelings but I do NOT believe in laws of attraction and don’t think you can, with the power of your pure blessings cure cancer and stuff like that.
So, all of this I love how this book came into my life, and there are portions of the book I connected to, about leaving your painful past behind and the value of moving through the world blessing others instead of carrying around your negativity. I have even begun blessing, as a practice. I define “blessing” as an open, pure desire for all that is good, kind, and abundant. So I get up in the morning, and bless the day. After 4 months of unrelenting stress and anxiety, I bless the day and welcome all the good that will come that day and wish the world lovingkindness and compassion. At night before I go to bed, I bless the day. I wish myself and anyone who comes to mind health, happiness, ease & peace. I’ll be candid and say it is a huge improvement to my life for the first and last thing I do with my conscious mind every day is blessing instead of stressing.
But...this book oversells blessing. It wants to tell me that blessing can heal someone’s cancer or stop violence in a way that is too Christian Science and spiritual healing and The Secret with some sprinkling of the Bible and that is where it loses me. I think meditation and woo-woo Eckhardt Tolle philosophy has value to the individual but it has also been monetized and weaponized for profit in a really harmful way (for example, our president who thinks the pandemic will just go away because he wants it to, or our fellow citizens who think they can be protected from coronavirus with the power of healthy food and positive thinking and the blood of Jesus so won’t put on a mask).
So. I can’t say this book connected deeply with me today. There might be a time it will. But I love how it came into my life, and accept that there is something in there that I am not ready to be open to. I am grateful for the gift of the practice of blessing.