The Compassionate Life: Walking the Path of Kindness

by Marc Barasch

The award-winning bestseller that helped launch an international movement (and inspired the film "I Am"). Acclaimed author Marc Barasch brilliantly explores the nature and practice of What can we learn from exceptionally empathic people? Can we increase our compassion quotient? How do we open our hearts to those who do us harm? What if the great driving force of our evolution were actually survival of the kindest? Drawing on science and spirituality, history and popular culture, bottom-line business and a high-sense of fun, here is a startling, provocative argument that a simple shift in consciousness "can change pretty much everything." With a keen balance of hope and realism, Marc Barasch set out on a journey to the heart of compassion, discovering its power to change who we are and the society we might become. He describes his own encounters with primates who demonstrate the roots of human empathy, and with Buddhist monks whose brain scans show how the practice of kindness actually resculpts our neural pathways. He vividly profiles his moving encounters with a man who donated his kidney to a stranger, and a man who forgave his daughter's murderer; with teenage Palestinian and Israeli girls learning to wage peace; even with astronomers trying to devise a missive to E.T. that we humans are not only clever, but kind.

Genres: Nonfiction, Religion, Psychology, Self Help, Spirituality, Buddhism

368 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2009

Reviews

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This author set out to discover the nature of compassion. His search led to many interesting encounters and discoveries. At a national primate research center, he observed the very human-like social interactions of bonobo chimps. He talked with the parents of children who have Williams syndrome, a rare genetic disorder that leaves them with a number of deficiencies but also way over the top empathic responses. They are children who exude sympathy and, for better or worse, have never met a stranger. He interviewed people who donated kidneys to complete strangers. He talks to the Dali Lama, spent a week living with homeless people, and researched issues of humility, forgiveness and altruism.

The author is a Buddhist, but he encompasses other faith traditions in his quest for insights into kindness. He writes with wit and self-deprecating humor. I found it to be an interesting book that both teaches and entertains.

[Tanya Paulison · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really found this book very insightful on a topic that has been extremely difficult as well as controversial in my life. I have struggled with unending compassion in my biological, natural makeup and as a result of this... have experienced a lot of hurt and disappointment. I have been Taken advantage of time and time again. And I have found myself growing in frustration and impatience with myself and my inability to ever learn so I can discern better who to trust and who to not.. when I am giving too much, when I am being played and especially when it is time to think more of myself than of others. The way he researched this topic was so interesting and thorough. I was surprised with the science behind the heart and learned a great deal. I had previously been completely ignorant to the capabilities of the heart and how it functions in our body. I was shocked to see that it functions almost as a brain does and there is a lot of evidence supporting this. The last thing I thought I'd see in this kind of book. I've read so many Buddhist and self help books on Eastern religious practices and the various different belief systems, right thinking and acting, all the new age mantras for having a peaceful and happy existence and how to go about it... same story, different t concepts but never, not in a single one ( and i have read quite a fee that j would consider to be all time favorites) have I ever seen anything like what i read about the heart and how it really serves our body and emotional well being. I've been told for so long that m th biggest problem is that I think with all heart not enough brain... but come to find out this might actually have been the perfect t way to obtain the balance I need... with my heart already in all the way (which apparently is extremely difficult for most people to apply) I'm way ahead of the game and just need to implement a tad more of the brainzees.. which is easy. This is just about taking my time before well everything... and maki g sure I am not acting on impulse and emotional reactions. Feelings arent facts. And reactions tend to show that we do not recognize this so unthinking before speaking, pausingbefore doing, being mindful... sums it up. Being mindful.
.So this was an awesome book. I learned a lot about the heart and I really found the research on compassion so interesting and enlightening. It made me feel better about who I am. I spend so much time hating how i have to fight to see the bad in people and just end up looking like a punk and being treated like a doormat,( definite lack of respect in how I've been treated and I have always found it so unfair as I do not treat others in this way. )... and being do disappointed to discover that my so called "friends" really arent my friends and were just around for the taking and that was a rap... but I feel like instead of changing who I am and the general good nature that deep down and very proud of and to be...there is a way to find balance. A balance in how much I give.. and to whom I decide to give to. A balance in all areas... and that balance is simply by loving myself genuinely. And having compassion for myself and being able to forgive myself for all those seemingly impossible issues I have only been able to use to further hate myself. This book puts all this in perspective in such a way that made me feel, upon reading the last page... that I am blessed to be the way that I am. And somethjng that is 2nd nature for me, or better just a huge part of my entire nature... treating others with unconditional kindness and empathy, is something that others spend years and years working to become through nonstop practice and constant reminders and training in reactions or initial thoughts or feelings that differ from the CV whole altruistic approach. Ok enough. Great book. Loved it.

[Hanh Do · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful. This book can be regarded as mind-changing to me (as I was not very familiar with the empathy/ compassion concept).
The author explains well the anatomy of human body/ psychology structure in regard to how us human beings have and practice empathy. Most importantly, it guides us the direction on how we can fulfill our life with true happiness, with compassion.
The fact that this book is very informative and transformative makes it more persuasive. (Unlike those self-help books that only presents some soundless guidance/ spiritual facts).

[Barbara Lovejoy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned about this book from a quote from it posted on FB. What a treasured surprise. So much of what I learned was fascinating and intriguing.

[Lenore Webb · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is a story of one man’s quest to examine and foster the goodness in the human race. He wants to know what the homeless, war refugees, the saintly, murderers, social scientists, religious leaders, and philosophers can teach mankind about empathy and forgiveness.
Barasch gives up a trip to Cannes and goes on a retreat on the streets on the wintery streets of Denver. Taking only a tooth brush and a sleeping bag, he was forced to beg for food, find shelter, understand, and depend on the homeless. Barasch wants the world to develop loving communities. As such Barasch encourages people to remember Nine-Twelve when New Yorkers banned together. He doesn’t want to promote revenge by constantly reminding the population of Nine-Eleven. Barasch is scholar who writes, educates and entertains the average person. His presentation of philosophers and brain scientists is comprehensible, not boring. Being a scholar he includes copious end notes for each chapter plus a detailed bibliography and index. In addition his extensive vocabulary and beautiful phrases, alliterations, and uncommon verbs are a delight to read. Barasch is a Buddhist, but he sees the beauty of all faiths. He spends his life encouraging everyone to be more compassionate towards people and the environment.

[Artemis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book so touched me, it made me want to run out and hug the world.

It also made me very sad to see, how lately I've neglected to feed my altruistic heart, that in my earlier days brought me such joy and made me feel truly glad to be alive. I loved mostly the story of Melodye Feldman, and her Building Bridges for Peace program for Israeli and Palestinian teenagers.

I love also how it made me wrestle with myself, and my lack of kindness sometimes.

And I love the way his words penetrated every cell in my body, insisting that I embrace it's teachings, instead reject or resist them.

I can be closed-hearted, this book broke me open.

[Jennifer Gilbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

As with any book that attempts to survey a broad topic, skipping from angle to angle, I found some parts of this less engaging than others. But overall, it was interesting and inspiring. I'm giving it five stars not because it's flawlessly executed, but because the concepts it presents are so important to both one's personal happiness and to the well-being of our society in general. In other words, it compensates for any flaws it may have with sheer relevance. I definitely recommend it to anyone looking to become kinder and more giving.

[Joy Weese Moll · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Compassionate Life is a series of explorations on different aspects of compassion, written as part memoir and part journalism, with an emphasis on profiling compassionate people around the world. Marc Barasch spends time with the homeless, learns meditations from Buddhist monks, and observes a camp that brings together Israeli and Palestinian girls.

More thoughts on my blog, including how powerful I found the tonglen meditation: The Compassionate Life

[Todd Mayville · Rating 5 out of 5]

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/0...

[Jessie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book has some good and interesting ideas, but it reads like some 40 year old guy trying to seem hip while giving a motivational speech to high schoolers.