Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

The Life You Want

Rate this book
Tansy feels trapped in her marriage to Max, and the looks she receives from parents in the playground suggest she’s not doing a great job at being a mother to her two sons either. So Tansy decides to take a trip to India, to visit an old friend and sort her head out. But life is about to get a whole lot more complicated, and as she uncovers a shocking secret she begins to long for the normality of family life.

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

13 people are currently reading
376 people want to read

About the author

Emily Barr

43 books584 followers
Emily Barr worked as a journalist in London, but always hankered after a quiet room and a book to write. She went travelling for a year, writing a column in the Guardian about it as she went, and it was there that she had an idea for a novel set in the world of backpackers in Asia. This became Backpack, which won the WH Smith New Talent Award. She has since written eleven more adult novels published in the UK and around the world, and a novella, Blackout, for the Quick Reads series. Her twelfth novel, The Sleeper, is a psychological thriller set on the London to Cornwall sleeper train.
In 2013 she went to Svalbard with the idea of setting a thriller in the Arctic. The book that came out of it was The One Memory of Flora Banks, a thriller for young adults, which attracted universal interest from publishers before being bought pre-emptively by Penguin earlier this year. It will be published globally in January 2017.
She lives in Cornwall with her partner and their children.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
107 (18%)
4 stars
197 (33%)
3 stars
207 (35%)
2 stars
62 (10%)
1 star
14 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
Profile Image for Mahaluck Ganesh.
19 reviews12 followers
February 4, 2015
This book exposed the human trafficking of children who became orphans during the Tsunami that hit South India in 2004.It was just a good read and nothing great though the theme was a bit unique. Foriegners who come to India on the pretext of doing social service instead did more harm than any good and in the due course made innocent children suffer and in this case, the protaganist, who is herself a foriegner. I feel the story must have been taken from some real life incidents.But the fact in one place the trafficking being justified saying that the children atleast got better living conditions than what they were in is atrocious.
The way of living in Chennai and Pondy being written about by an ousider as a matter of fact was like by me. It seemed they are so used to our culture and life. The end was a little adventourous wherein Tansy runs away from the police and then finally gets saved by her husband whoem she had misunderstood. Ofcourse this book teaches you that nothing should be taken for granted and and the life that you have been presented with, ought to be lived in the utmost fulfilling manner. A happy ending makes it a good read.
Profile Image for Leah.
1,653 reviews339 followers
September 16, 2009
The Life You Want is Emily Barr’s eighth novel and the sequel to her first novel Backpack. Now I haven’t actually read Backpack because I just couldn’t get into it but I wanted to read The Life You Want so went ahead and read it anyway.

We pick up with Tansy a decade after Backpack and find out she’s married to Max and has two children Toby and Joe. In her opening sentence she tells us she thinks she’s having a breakdown. Not only that but she drinks a lot, forgets to pick up her children and contemplates an affair with her son’s teacher. To save herself she heads of to India by herself to help out Elly, an old friend. It seems, though, that Elly isn’t all she seemed….

Even though I found Tansy an incredibly irritating character, I loved the book. It wasn’t as good as The Sisterhood which was fabulous but it was a really enjoyable read. I loved the descriptions of Indian towns and what it’s like to travel in India and, I admit, it sounded nothing like I expected it to sound. Like Tansy when I imagine India I think of poor people begging on the streets the whole time. Emily didn’t describe it like that at all.

The book is written in first-person which was enjoyable because we got all of Tansy’s thoughts. While I say I found her irritating, at least she admitted she was a rubbish mother and wasn’t cut out to live in London forever with a steady job. It still didn’t stop me thinking she was selfish though for leaving her husband and children to go off to India.

She kept saying she wasn’t like her alcoholic mother but she was. I alternated between liking Tansy and wanting to slap her. She was selfish to leave her kids but I liked her honesty. She’s definitely an anti-heroine and is like Marmite – you’ll either love her or hate her.

As well as Tansy’s point-of-view we regularly read blog posts from a woman called Alexia who is adopting a child from India named Sasika. We follow her on her journey, through her blog posts, all the way – even when everything goes topsy-turvy. I would have liked a few more blog posts from Alexia because it was a great part of the story and helped, also, with the main plot of the story.

All of Emily Barr’s books seem to have a dark undercurrent – in The Sisterhood, Helen was so sure Elizabeth Greene was her sister and went to great lengths to ingratiate herself into Elizabeth’s life. The dark tone to this book was the CC centre. I figured out what was going on long before Tansy did but it was exciting to read about. The twist didn’t come until near the end though, which was disappointing as everything then had to be tied up quickly.

As I said, the ending seemed slightly rushed. Apart from that, I really enjoyed the book. I didn’t find it as much of a page-turner as The Sisterhood but it was another great read from Emily and I look forward to her next.

Rating: 4/5
Profile Image for Novelle Novels.
1,652 reviews52 followers
March 31, 2019
4 out of 5 stars
This is not for the feint hearted and certainly not for a mother who adores her children!! When the back of the book says that the lead character is a terrible mother you think well that would be a shock statement to make you read the book but oh no it’s soooooo true. Tansy Harris has a serious drink problem and you want to slap her for more than the first half of the story in fact you literally go into the book shouting at her. How could she drink so much while looking after her children? How could she leave them? How could she be so selfish and not see how bad she is? I won’t give spoilers but you do find out more and she grows on you. There is a strong and very real tale of another lady that is included but for so long you don’t see the relevance but when you do things actually make more sense. I think the way children are written about has linked into what happened after the tsunami that occurred in India and that really makes you grateful for all we have. My children have had extra hugs after reading this book and has challenged me to look on my role as a mum. That job is really bought to the forefront and one none of us should take for granted.
Profile Image for Sadaf Hassan.
133 reviews2 followers
August 2, 2011
I bought this book trusting on the blurb at the back which made it sound thrilling and something you would get hold of and would not want to put down. I must say I was let down. The story was alright, most of the characters seemed bland, and there was no balance in the book. It started off way too slowly, and the ending was rushed into. There were not many parts in the book that I can say I really liked, but there were couple of parts which I found ridiculous. The twist did not come until the near end, which was disappointing as everything then had to be tied up quickly. I liked how we got to follow Alexia on her journey, through blog posts, however that part of the story could have been more developed. Overall it was an average read, nothing spectacular and there was nothing unputdownable about it.
Profile Image for Viola80.
540 reviews10 followers
August 11, 2017
I libri della Barr riescono sempre a rapirmi totalmente! E' proprio il suo stile di scrittura, ma anche il fatto che non è buonista, infatti in questo libro la protagonista, che poi è la Tansy di Backpacker, è una VERA madre, ossia una che ne ha due scatole così dei figli e della famiglia, che vuole ancora innamorarsi, viaggiare, pensare per sé e basta. Liberatoria e reale rispetto a tutte quelle madre invasate che scrivono su vari forum che vivono e respirano esclusivamente per i figli scomparendo totalmente come individui e che si permettono pure di giudicare chi la pensa diversamente.
Certo, Tansy torna in India e lì scopre che 'la vita che vuoi non è sempre quella di cui hai bisogno', che a volte a scappare non si risolvono i problemi, però diciamolo: una bella pedata ai famigliari permette le permette poi di ritrovarsi col marito! Qui si parla anche di adozione, e Tansy si ritrova invischiata suo malgrado in una rete di adozioni illegali e vecchi amici che proprio amici non sono... bellissime le descrizioni dei luoghi, pare di esserci davvero, insomma per me romanzo ottimo come tutte le opere dell'autrice.
Profile Image for Kees van Duyn.
1,080 reviews7 followers
July 12, 2018
Back on track is een literaire thriller. Tenminste... dat is het genre dat aan het boek is meegegeven. Toegegeven, in het laatste kwart van het boek komt een vleugje 'spanning' om de hoek kijken, maar de categorie (reis)roman was beter op zijn plaats geweest.

In Back on track wordt Tansy Harris door een vriendin uitgenodigd om haar in een kindercentrum in de ashram in India te gaan helpen. Tansy wil dolgraag, maar dan met haar hele gezin. Toch vertrekt ze alleen. Vooral dankzij haar man Max, die de problemen waar Tansy mee kampt onderkent en het ticket naar India heeft geboekt.

Aanvankelijk heeft Tansy het moeilijk en denkt ze vaak aan haar gezin. Toch raakt ze steeds beter in haar element en komt ze ook tot rust. Tot er dingen gebeuren die iedereen zag, behalve zijzelf. En opnieuw is het Max die haar uit de problemen haalt.

Back on track is een aangenaam boek om te lezen, maar het is niet het beste boek dat Barr geschreven heeft. Het leest vlot, mede dankzij de korte hoofdstukken, en het boek heeft een goede opbouw. Voor wie op zoek is naar spanning is het boek af te raden, maar wie een prettig vakantieboek wil lezen, maakt met dit boek een goede keus.
Profile Image for Annick.
152 reviews5 followers
April 1, 2018
This book was a little less than the previous book I read from Emily Barr. I could see the plot unfolding from miles away, and the only tension was towards the end of the book. Still, I found it a good book to read on the train to work.
Profile Image for Jenni.
657 reviews9 followers
December 2, 2023
As always I loved The Life You Want by Emily Barr. A very relatable cast of characters and once you start reading you feel as though you are there in the story! All of her books that I've read have left me feeling good!!
Profile Image for Gina.
3 reviews7 followers
August 12, 2018
The book was a little slow in the middle, but hang in there!
Profile Image for Hali Jean Po.
8 reviews
January 1, 2020
I like how it ended though it would have been great as well if she was able to clear everything out by herself.
Profile Image for Fran Clarke.
616 reviews2 followers
December 16, 2020
I really enjoyed this book. I liked seeing the characters again and seeing the life they had built together
Profile Image for Yasmin Issa.
7 reviews
January 6, 2022
The end was kinda predictable but I really liked how the main characters (don't remember their names) stripped themselves down to save their marriage
7 reviews
January 12, 2023
Enjoyable

Stick with it slow to start but picks up pace.
Tansy you grow to appreciate.
Nice flavour of India in all its flavours
Profile Image for Bookguide.
974 reviews58 followers
August 12, 2016
I chose this to read during a weekend when I knew I would probably be constantly interrupted so needed something light. It wasn't quite what I'd expected and it fell rather flat. So I have to ask myself what went wrong. It probably comes down to the expectations which were provoked by the book cover and blurb:

1. Cover design looked like chick lit. Wasn't.
Recommend: heading for the pink section in your local bookstore. Sophie Kinsella for fluff or alter-ego Madeleine Wickham for a bit more plot.
2. Back cover, big letters: "Tansy Harris is a terrible mother." I was expecting humour, but it didn't really materialise.
Recommend: Secret Diary Of A Demented Housewife by Niamh Greene.
3. Back cover, big letters: "Emily Barr's electrifying novels get under your skin. And stay there." Afraid not.
4. Back cover blurb: "she lifts the lid on something terrifying." Well, not really. I kept waiting for it, but it didn't arrive. Terrible, yes, terrifying, no.

I did read the first half straight through, but the story lost momentum once Tansy started wallowing in self-pity about her mother and drinking her troubles away. Instead of talking to her husband about what was bothering her, she fuelled her problems. Finally her loving husband tells her to help out her old backpacking friend in India. Once there she continues to moan, spends time with equally uninspiring backpackers, meets up with a dropout European and even though she waxes lyrical about her old backpacking ways, she seems to miss the mark all the time. If this was meant to inspire other people to go backpacking, it fails because the descriptions just aren't engaging enough. Whenever she connects with home and friends, she continues to be offhand and throws in the usual platitudes about smells and spices. We just can't connect with her, and she doesn't connect with India. She doesn't like Chennai, neither do we.

Then finally she moves on to the ashram. Once more, everything is off-kilter. Does she join in and throw herself into the lifestyle? No, she subjects us to another round of moaning. We don't get the chance to get to know any of the other people at the ashram well. The most dialogue is with the obnoxious Nick, but here Tansy shows herself to be equally obnoxious. Why was Anjali so magnetic? Why didn't we get to know Elly better - although I believe she was a character in a previous novel, so perhaps this wasn't necessary if you had read that. Somehow I just didn't get to develop any sort of relationship with any of the characters.

Then we come to the terrible secret. Of course, to the reader this is no unexpected twist as Alexia's blog has prepared us for what the secret will be. In fact, Alexia is the only one who could evoke any real sympathy in me. So full of hope and good intentions, completely broken and betrayed. This book addresses an important and complicated issue which this book only touches upon. As the author presumably cares about the issue, it's a shame she didn't manage to debate it more fully. It seems a wasted chance. Even the so-called exciting part at the end failed to be riveting, then it was followed by an equally unemotional reunion scene with Tansy's husband.

I'm sorry I can't be more positive about this book, but it was a disappointment. It could have been so much better.
Profile Image for Lyn Battersby.
234 reviews12 followers
March 11, 2012
A couple of years ago, in the face of having read every Sophie Kinsella and Lionel Shriver in the book shop, I happened upon Cuban Heels. Thus began my Emily Barr period. I read everything of hers I could get my hands on and bought up big.

Six weeks later, I stopped. Just like that. Cold turkey. She'd become - well- samey. The books ran into one another and I couldn't remember who had the stalky sister and who had the stalky brother. So I put Barr's work down and continued on my merry way. Jodi Picoult took my fancy followed in close succession by Kurt Vonnegut and Walter Moseley. My current obsession is Alexander McCall Smith.

It was while looking in the library for another Scotland Street novel that I happened to find The Life You Want. Suddenly I remembered all the bad reviews I'd read about the book when putting in my own Goodreads offerings and I began to wonder 'Why?' So, I picked it up and added it to the pile.

Now, I have to admit, it sat there, in the pile beside my bed for quite a while. Honestly, months went by. Books were added, books went back, and still I renewed it over and over.

Friday morning I finally picked it up and opened it. Last night (Saturday night) I turned the last page on what was, I believe, to be a thoroughly readable book. I engaged with Tansy from the moment she took her first glass of wine right up until her last beer. I've lived her life, straining against the binds of domesticity when a whole world waits beyond the front door. Like Tansy, I've found an excuse to have a drink despite the disapproving frowns of friends, family and society in general. I've told the lies, hidden the bottle and burned with shame in the aftermath of a binge. All because I knew a better life was waiting for me - out there.

Of course, this is not just a mid-life crisis story. There's India, there's adoption and there's something far, far darker afoot. Now, if you've read the other reviews putting this story down, then I urge you to maybe do as I did, steer clear of Barr's work for a while (it took me two years) but then start again with a clean palate somewhere down the track. Do, however, give this book a chance, because you just mind find a piece of your life in their somewhere.
Profile Image for Vel.
14 reviews9 followers
August 27, 2014
Tansy's back from 'Backpack'!

I generally liked this book on the whole and thought it was a good sequel to said title.

What I really love about all Emily Barr's books is that they are so addictive - especially later on in the story (I think I read 80 pages in one sitting in less than an hour!), and I found 'The Life You Want' was no exception.
I really liked learning about travel to India as I have never been before and have always wanted to do so, so I loved learning all about it from this book. Secondly, I liked how Tansy has not really changed in 10 years!
However, there were a few things which 'spoiled' it for me, so I didn't like this book as much as all the other ones I have read by Barr. In particular, I guessed the shocking (but in my opinion very predictable!!!) twist quite early on, so as it came as no surprise to me I was not that impressed! I was bewildered at how naive Tansy was, despite her experiences travelling around the world I thought she too would have guessed this horror was at work herself, or at least been aware of the potential for it to happen!)
I also found some characters really pointless. Example - poor Nick - it seemed he was only employed as a victim on the receiving end of Tansy's temper! I also thought the storyline with Tansy the headteacher (I don't want to reveal anything to readers here!) was rubbish too - it seemed to finish some 150 pages in. Seriously, what was the point of it?

On the whole, I thought fans of Barr will not be disappointed but it's not her best work for me. Still, a good light and quick holiday read which I would recommend is best enjoyed while on holiday somewhere hot and exotic. I think Tansy and co. would agree....?
Profile Image for Sherree Gaskell.
34 reviews1 follower
June 10, 2014
First of all, I already loved Emily Barr. I was interested in reading another of her books but excited when I realized it was linked to Backpacking. This novel once again had everything I was looking for. Adventure and travel, an interesting cast of characters and an unexpected subplot. Although it didn't take me long to kind of get the feeling things were not quite right, I was still so deeply involved in the story that I had to finish it. Emily would be easy to pop into the chick lit catagory and yet you only have to read one of her books to know that there is way more than just a love story. I have also recently read The Sleeper. This to my mind was my favorite of her books. If it's possible, Emily is getting better! I look forward to her next book.
Profile Image for Nancy.
3 reviews
June 18, 2009
Well, let me first say that I am the type of reader that needs to be pulled in within the first 30 pages. Unfortunately, I kept waiting for a climatic point in this book. It didn't even start to present itself until the last 100 pages.

The thing I did enjoy is that the story was set in India. As I was reading I enjoyed visualizing the country. Are the other books by the same author kind of anti climatic as well?

Profile Image for Rachel.
1,223 reviews
September 17, 2012
It took me a little while to get into this book, until Sam & Amber appeared, but when I did I was hooked! I'm sure there'll be a follow-up book at some point and I'm hoping that the Delphine and Ethan somehow reappear.

All the way through the name Tansy and the place Pondicherry rang a bell, but I didn't click that I'd actually read the first book about Tansy years ago until I saw the book description for Backpack - at the end. D'oh! I'm adding it to my wishlist to reread sometime.
Profile Image for Pooja T.
197 reviews60 followers
December 23, 2012
This is the second Emily Barr book I read and this one was better than The Sister. Though misleading in it's blurb, this is no thriller or fast paced read. This is a well-written book about a woman tired of her everyday life and wants to reclaim her backpacking past. She lands up in India to help her friend run an orphanage and all hells sorta breaks loose. An interesting read but could have been better.
Profile Image for Shelleyrae at Book'd Out.
2,620 reviews562 followers
March 5, 2010
For three quarters of the book i was just irritated by Tansy's unceasing whining and selfinterest (in fact it reminded me very much of Eat Love Pray). I havn't read Backpack (the prequel to this) - perhaps that would have made me more sympathetic towards her. I really just forced myself to finish it to say I had.
Profile Image for Vera VB.
1,501 reviews6 followers
February 1, 2016
This book is suposed to be a thriller but there is no tension at all, it's not a pageturner, there is nothing that makes it a thriller. It's about a woman in search for herself. She goes to a friend in India who runs a fosterhome for children that have become orphans after the tsunami. It's about adoption, legal or illegal, about giving children a better home.
3 reviews
March 1, 2015
Hint - read backpacker first. Yes the main character is selfish but I'd love to sometimes be like that! But I'm not, So I like to read her adventures. As usual great story built around travelling and more exciting to find out about places while enjoying a story rather than a boring Travel guide. Can't beat this authors books for relatively simple but enjoyable stories set in exciting places.
427 reviews
July 26, 2012
Loved it - made me think about so many issues - slipping into excess drinking - adopting children from abroad and most importantly how the grass is not always greener on the other side.
Will be watching out for more novels by Emily Barr.
Profile Image for Sheri.
490 reviews13 followers
May 18, 2013
This was a great read from the author of Stranded. I love how travel and adventure go together and I really feel like I am there when I read this author's books. A couple of twists had me where I thought I had it figured out.
Profile Image for Daphne.
1,300 reviews50 followers
June 9, 2015
While this book was entertaining, it failed to be very exciting. The main character wasn't always likable and the plot in India was predictable. I liked how some chapters were formatted as blog posts and that the two stories got entwined, but the resolution of the entire plot felt kind of weak.
Profile Image for Annalise.
164 reviews5 followers
October 18, 2010
This was a difficult book for me to get through; I loathed the main character. I suffered through this book and did not enjoy it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.