The Final Season

Planet Gallywood #1

by Andrew Gillsmith

It’s one thing to know that all life will end someday, quite another to know the exact date and time right down to the nanosecond.

Such is the unhappy fate of the inhabitants of Rexos-4, a once-thriving planet that has lived under the doom of an inevitable apocalypse for millenia. Their entire philosophy of life may be summed up by the phrase “Mxtlpicam’ bnak ooligapn,” which in most languages translates to something along the lines of “What’s the bloody point?”

Unbeknownst to the poor Rexans, their predicament has also been the subject of the longest-running and most successful reality television series in galactic history, now translated into over 200 million languages, with closed captioning.

With the end of the world just around the corner, the show is entering its all-important final season, with stakes that fill even the most hard-boiled Gallywood executives with fear and trembling.

The Final Season is The Truman Show meets the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, with just a dash of PG Wodehouse.

Join Gumpilos Tfliximop, Elvie Renfro, Rufus Camford and a cast of colorful characters as they battle the notorious showrunner (and subverter of expectations) Betty Neezquaff, all while tackling the big questions of life’s meaning and purpose with wit, warmth, and–dare I say–optimism.

Genres: Science Fiction, Humor, Fiction, Fantasy, Comedy

166 pages, Paperback

First published January 8, 2023

Reviews

[Kevin Ansbro · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Optimism had all but vanished from Rexos-4 millennia before, when one of Gumpilos’s ancestors had calculated that the planet would be obliterated by a rogue star on a quite specific date in the then-distant future. That date was now a mere nine months away…"

The lugubrious inhabitants of Rexos-4, a doomed planet in a distant star system, are completely oblivious to the fact that their daily exploits are being broadcast to a galaxy-wide TV audience numbering several billion.
But cometh the hour, cometh the man. From within this outlying biosphere of malcontents, layabouts and doomsayers, there exists one shining light; a virtuous citizen by the name of Gumpilos Tfliximop (try saying that when you've had a few tequilas), who - to the disgruntlement of his peers - happens to be an incurable optimist.
So, when Gumpilos's heart is stolen by uncongenial barista, Cniphia Obgulagong (who wouldn't ordinarily give such a nonentity the time of day), I just knew that this was shaping up to be a whole lot of fun!

Rather bonnily, Gumpilos speaks like Bertie Wooster, which further enhanced his likeability factor, and he remained my favourite character throughout.

Author Andrew Gillsmith succeeds in bringing together a whimsical and philosophical sci-fi yarn with enough laugh-out-loud moments to amuse even the most obdurate of sourpusses. This is a novella that would appeal to fans of Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett and Kurt Vonnegut.
Added to the mix, and wonderfully depicted, is the villainess (are we still allowed to say villainess?) of the piece; cutthroat TV executive, Betty Neezquaff (think Cruella de Vil-meets-Anna Wintour).

It soon becomes clear that Gillsmith is in possession of a fully-functioning moral compass.
In the most agreeable of ways, and amidst a maelstrom of rambunctious gaiety, he rails against climate change deniers, nihilists, anarchists, and conspiracy theorists.
Irrespective of this being a fanciful book that doesn't take itself too seriously, it does nevertheless carry a very serious message.

There was never a dull moment; the story was innovative and highly entertaining. And I won't be giving too much away by saying that the ending caught me by surprise to the extent that it brought a lump to my throat.
Bravo, Andrew Gillsmith!

[Khalid Abdul-Mumin · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The first mafia was probably a group of single-celled organisms who, upon finding a particularly succulent bit of primal muck, made it their purpose to ensure that other single-celled organisms were kept far away from it."

An amazing, utterly delightful and hilarious (guaranteed to send the most morose person into fits of inevitable hysterics!) piece of story telling that reads very light, albeit insinuates cleverly some sly philosophical musings on life and its meaning underneath its skin.

You can learn most of what you need to know about someone based on their tastes in media.
For example, we know that traditionalists love sword-and-sorcery epics, as well as mannerly comedies and cozy mysteries, and that egalitarians tend to go in for science fiction.
We know that habitual watchers of the news, despite the bluster, are nearly always pliable centrists who simply need to be reminded from time to time of the limits of what is acceptable to believe. The ones you need to worry about are the people who watch game shows. Nihilists, the lot of them. They revel in staring into the abyss and care not one bit that it stares also back at them. Game shows were invented for the sole purpose of identifying these people, and many of us in Gallywood consider it part of our patriotic duty to submit lists of viewers to the relevant authorities.

I absolutely enjoyed this and I'll highly recommend this for anyone looking for a short, fun and insightful read with a science fiction slant to the plot. A light hearted and fun romp! I loved the humor tremendously.

2023 Read

[Andrew Gillsmith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hope you all have half as much fun reading it as I did writing it!

[Margo G · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely hilarious. A satire that somehow manages to be incredibly funny and not at all meanspirited.

[Emms-hiatus(ish) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Deliciously nihilistic, lighthearted, clever and slyly serious.

I didn't laugh out loud, but definitely humor filled and fun.

[Gianni Pratico · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was absolutely fantastic. This is my first forray into Andrew Gillsmith's work, and I am sold, hook line and sinker. As many have already noted, fans of Hitchhikers guide will love this book, but I think there's more to it than that. The book often gets deep, getting into the nature of media and storytelling, and it does so in a manner that is easy to follow and enjoyable. Though I love Hitchhiker's guide, it sometimes got too random and nonsensical. It was entertaining for sure, but that's why I like "The Final Season" better. What starts as a silly sci-fi story turns into a meaningful display of love, family, and hope. This is hands down one of the most entertaining reads I've had in a while. I feel very fortunate that, through some random act of social media, I connected with Andrew Gillsmith here on Goodreads, which is how I found "The Final Season" in the first place. You have a new fan!

I'll also add, via the audio version, huge props to David Lane Pusey, who almost made me spit my soda all over my car when he switched from his narration voice, to the first words spoken by Betty Neezquaff. Expertly done

[Gene · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a clever and entertaining story this was. It certainly falls into whatever genre Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker Guide books belong, but I enjoyed this more than them. Gillsmith was able to take a humorous tale and use it to bring up some of the "big questions" of life in a compelling manner. Each twist and turn was unexpected, and the characters seemed to be well developed and interesting. The dialogue had traces of British vulgarity, but nothing offensive. I look forward to more books in the Planet Gallywood series.

[Wendy Slater · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The Final Season: Planet Gallywood #1" is one the funniest books that I have read in years. The author has an enormously wonderful sense of humor that kept me laughing.

This is a Sci-Fi intergalactic tale full of time-travel, aliens, outrageously funny humor and stellar imagination! I absolutely loved the book! The book reminded me a bit of the authors Douglas Adams and Tom Robbins. It is a whacky, supremely fun ride--so hop on the ship and take a spin!

I really hope the author writes a sequel.

[Selena (Fae✨inmysparetime) · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Eternity falls in love with the works of time because time is the most beautiful work of eternity” ~ by far the best read of the year. Ingenuously hilarious and meaningful. This book touched my heart, my mind and my funny bone.

[Twainy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fun book!! A fun SHORT book!

If Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was a genre … this would fall in step. Similar in humor, scope, feel and narration.

Inhabitants of a planet know the exact date that it will blink into nonexistence. Let the shenanigans commence!

[Paul (Life In The Slow Lane) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh no, I'm sure I have Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia! Yes, it's a word.

I think Andrew Gillsmith's best friend might be a thesaurus: There are some deliciously obscure and rare words in this book, so it pays to have a dictionary close at hand. I won't be challenging him to Scrabble any time soon.

Andrew's writing style is ... well ... wordy! While the storyline is a good one, it does take some wading through unnecessary verbiage (hey, this wordiness is catching) to get to the crux of the matter. I found it tiring at times. Her eldritch reverie was interrupted by the fastidious voice of her assistant over the intercom, should have been, She was interrupted. I also found 131 words I had to look up! Yes, 131! I took my Kindle down to Trivia Night at the pub and started rattling these words off to my (at that stage) non-inebriated friends, and they accused me of speaking a foreign language. A few of my favourites were: Eschatology, Verisimilitude and Flagitiousness (love that one).

This should not deter you, humble reader. Our author takes a satirical look at reality media, and along the way, pokes a bit of fun at Hollywood (Gallywood) and the Star Wars juggernaut (Star Attack)...and cats (according to another reviewer). Cats aside, those could do with a bit of fun-poking in their general direction. The thing that finally fricasseed my frazzled seeing organs, was the weak and rushed ending. Despite a 5,000 word (approx.) warning from the author about how nicely tied up all the loose ends should be, the most evil nemeses (I had to look that up too) seemed to escape without getting the vengeful demise they so richly deserved. Harrumph! 😡

Sorry, but only 2.5 stars from me, but I did increase my vocabulary by a few words and impress everyone at Trivia Night.

[⚫㊐✨Heather Mc Erlean❦㈦㊏ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! I'm not a comedy fan unless it's dark and this was delicious. I loved it. Seriously though, I am reminded of today and how things are. Corporations that have this fake altruism and feel it brands them a "good corporation". There are a lot of laughs to be had in this book, don't forget the message it sends either. This is the first book I have read of Andrew Gillsmith and I am fortunate to find that I have another author to put on my list of "to read" books. I highly recommend reading this little gem of a meaningful dark comedy in a science fiction setting.

[Paul Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Mr Gillsmith's first novel so when I saw this was a new release I was very excited to dive in. This book has a vastly different tone but was incredibly amusing and enjoyable from start to finish. I loved it and can't wait to see what comes next!

[Brujaja · Rating 4 out of 5]

FFS, it's DOGS who do that.

By the author's reckoning, I must be an egalitarian, because I read science fiction voraciously. (if I recall correctly, that also makes me an anarchist. Eh, not so much) I've seen lots of books that present themselves as being "in the style of Hitchhiker's Guide." In my opinion, the only books that succeed in this style are the ones *not trying to do so,* and I would further postulate that this is the actual reason they succeed. Those who set out to emulate the Guide mostly end up coming off as self-conscious and forced. This is illustrated by the ultimate example of Douglas Adams himself falling victim to this axiom in his final book of the series.

That said, this book is a respectable enough specimen of books in that vein, and not without its moments of profundity. The author displays a certain cynical warmth for humanity that I share, and while it's a little short, it's a pleasant read and I'm comfortable recommending it to you, with this express caveat:

The author seems to have an animus for cats. Not an affectionate one either, just nasty. It grazed the border of the zone where I will just simply put a book down and forget about it.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’ve read Our Lady of the Artilects, then you’ll know how inventive Gillsmith is (I’m probably misspelling everyone of these words) with the story. Original is overused, but he really is original even in this book where he (or the narrator) insists we should stick to tropes.

This is a very funny book. Didn’t love the premarital relations between the aliens. Feel the need to voice my protest on that, but otherwise a splendid read. There’s a lot of commentary on the state of Hollywood and entertainment, and one might even wonder if the ending conversation where a new show is discussed points to the fact that even good people can’t help but want to film everything now a days. Douglas Adams was obviously an inspiration and there’s even a reference to the dolphin farewell.

I’m not even sure how I’d explain this book to someone. It’s a funny story about aliens and Hollywood and the meaning of life and anarchists. Give it a go! And give Our Lady a go too if you haven’t read that one!

[Bill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun read

Yes it was a fun read. Sometimes it made me laugh and others it really make you think. A reality show lasting some 10000 years coming to it’s end was a good concept and the author brought this to a conclusion with fascinating characters and different plots that always gives you hope they will save the doomed world. As for the ending I suggest you read to find out.
I received this book free from Goodreads.

[Peter Swindeman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A work of great innocence

This is a much needed sci fi novel which, like the protagonist Gupilos, does not surrender or retreat from cynicism, but conquers it with innocence. Self aware but not at all boorish. It is light, quick, and fun. I took my time reading it just so i could enjoy it over several weeks.

In the spirit of P.G. Wodehouse or Max Beerbohm, the ending is satisfying without being predictable.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I want to thank Mar Thomas Publishing and Goodreads giveaway for this book. It is a 3.5 stars... I enjoyed many parts but other not so much. Love the story line.

[Lyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Author Andrew Gillsmith, he of the Our Lady of the Artilects fame, published this fun book in January 2023.

Before all hell broke loose.

At first glance, this is a fun homage to classic but humorous SciFi, with shades of PKD and other classic SF writers. The most obvious comparison will be to Douglas Adams and his Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series.

A description of the book on the inside cover, a lean and athletic 180 pages (another nod to 60s SF) reads "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy meets The Truman Show” (The Truman Show having been perhaps inspired by Dick’s Time Out of Joint). This is a succinct representation but falls short of explaining the Big Picture.

Here’s the thing:

Like Adams, this has a wildly fantastic menagerie of aliens and colorful characters with an imaginative plot. Like the Truman Show (or Time Out of Joint if you’re a SF weirdo like me) we find our protagonists the unknowing cast in a planetary reality TV show documenting the daily lives of a race of beings whose time is running short because of an inevitable cataclysm.

TV producers, from Gallywood (nice Andrew!) get involved with some backroom scheming and the fun meter spikes into the red.

Did I say it was fun? As a barrel of monkeys!

I imagined that if this were produced into a film, the folks who put together Monsters Inc. would do a fine job, and one of the villains I even imagined with the voice talents of James Coburn.

While this is all a swimmingly good time, the real hero here is Gillsmith and his personable narration. Keen observations, astute asides and erudite musings, sometimes breaking the fourth wall, abound as our storyteller guides us through his Chocolate Factory. And is there, in fact, a Restaurant at the End of the Universe? I’ll let the readers discover that for themselves, but I will tease with one spoiler that I loved:

Suburban anarchists!

All that, two snaps and a bag of chips.

Well played, Mr. Gillsmith, well played.

[Bryony · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is about a planet who is 9 months away from being wiped out by an exploding star, but it is also being secretly filmed to another planet for a television programme called "what's the bloody point". We follow two people from the planet, and a few people from the planet filming them. It does jump around between the characters POV but it is easy to follow, some parts are also told in narrator style and addresses the reader directly, an unusual writing style but I found it engaging. 

I liked the plot, there was lots of turns and surprises throughout, the characters were connected in ways I didn't see coming and it was a bittersweet ending to the first book in this series. This story was a bit vanilla in terms of the characters and their development, but the twists and turns of the plot did spice that up a bit. There are two more in this series, so hopefully the author adds in some more descriptions to the characters. They are aliens to each other after all so I think some more physical description of the characters as well as cultural differences and lifestyles would have added another level to this book. However this was an easy and quick read, so ideal if you want a quick space story.

[Kirk Weikart · Rating 3 out of 5]

A galactic sci-fi version of The Truman Show. Reality TV throughout the universe watches for millennia as a planet awaits its destruction from a rogue star. Will TV come to the rescue?

Told from the "Gallywood" perspective, the narrator is not directly involved, but is more like an insider commenting on the situation. The prose is clever and witty. The character's names are dorky and funny sounding. A fast and enjoyable ride through space and time.

[Anja Peerdeman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Intriguing and entertaining !

I enjoy Gillsmith’s writing style very, VERY much.
His characters are enjoyable and easy to like :)
And I laughed out loud when I came across quotes that reminded me of Douglas Adam’s THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY snd the movie THROW MOMMA FROM THE TRAIN.
But that might be just me :)
I’m definitely reading Gillsmith’s other novels !

[Graceish ✨]

oh my stars. i want to read this really badly.

[Literally Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have to begin this review with the disclaimer that the contents of this book are not tailored to what I find humorous—and that's okay. Although The Final Season: Planet Gallywood was not the book for me, I do not doubt there is a niche for this type of book.

At the heart of the story is the doomed planet of Rexos-4; it's been known for millenia that one day this planet will meet its doom in an apocalyptic end. Unbeknownst to the inhabitants of Rexos-4, their everyday lives have been broadcast and developed into a reality TV show much like The Truman Show. There are 5 billion souls on the planet, we intimately get to know two specific characters, Gumpilos and his wife, Cniphia. They have an adorable meet-cute in a coffee shop, and it's hard not to root for Gumpilos, the sort of guy Cniphia would never give the time of day to. And it's even more tragic knowing there is an end in sight for these lovebirds...or is there?

Elvie is a junior writer on the TV show featuring Rexos-4, still idealistic and not yet tainted by Gallywood (or should I say Hollywood?). She wants to save the entire planet of Rexos-4, but she has a nemesis in Betty Neezquaff, who wants to watch the planet burn all for the sake of good ratings. In the end, who will triumph?

Gillsmith pokes fun at the Chosen One trope and other tropes found throughout popular literature and TV, and there were nuggets of wisdom I actually found myself highlighting as I read, my favorite being "good stories have a way of spilling over into what we call real life." What is at first a story becomes so much more when Elvie goes to Rexos-4 with a plan to save its people.

“You can learn most of what you need to know about someone based on their tastes in media." If satire is your thing, which I have discovered it is not mine, you may just discover your new favorite read.

[Deirdre E Siegel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, so very funny, life on a deadline in a galaxy far far away we are SUDDENLY made aware of a change in time.
The Truman Show with The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and sometimes I thought Blandings have all been poured into the KitchenAid, whisked into a light fluffy adventure of out loud laughter as words take on a life of their own.
Thank you Andrew Gillsmith for your most fabulous collection of words, and your eloquence David Lane Pusey, so very much appreciated gentlemen, looking forward to the Audible release of The Pilot. :-)

[Stephen Mitchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun read

Satire disguised as science fiction. It will make you question the influence of media, particularly in this era of minformation. A delightful read.

[Steven William William · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hitchhikers Guide to the Entertainment Industry

I do not lightly compare anybody to Douglas Adams, nor any book to The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, but Gillsmith really surprised me with The Final Season.

Humorous, heart-warming, and honest, lemme explain why it's one of my favourite reads this year:

First, I want to hear Andrew pronounce these bloody names! It's a testament to the characters that I have an emotional connection to characters called things like "Tfliximop".

So what is it? It's a story about stories, and also a satire of the modern entertainment industry.

The idea is that a 10k year long reality TV show about to end with the destruction of this planet.

We follow the galactic industry execs trying to decide how to end the beloved series.
We also follow the planets only optimist as he finds love on the eve of Armageddon.

I know Gillsmith from Our Lady of the Artilects, a deeply philosophical SciFi and one of my faves last year.

Whilst humourous, this book also shows off that same flair for deep thought, building a setting perfect for exploring the author's ideas.

It has something important to say about the cynicism and nihilism of modern entertainment, about honest art and the construction of myth, the danger of controlled narratives and constructed media.
It's about the subversion of tropes and classic hero's journeys.

It's brilliantly written, well paced, thoughtful, and has one of my favourite romances iv read in fiction solely for how earnestly it plays out.

I was surprised by how moved I was, this feels like one of those rare episodes of a comedy show that brings you to tears.

I highly recommend The Final Season, and will be checking out the sequel as soon as I can!

[Jessica Cole · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was interesting, to say the least. It had a good story, and I kept wanting to read to find out what was going to happen.
The writer, or narrator, I should say, broke the 4th wall A LOT. I felt that he went on and on and made the story very wordy. I think that the story could have involved more of the characters, like backstories and conversations. I just felt that the writer rambled on a bit and I found myself losing focus and interest sometimes. Like, get to the bloody point! (Get it?)

[Lee McCall · Rating 5 out of 5]

As Francis Bacon wrote, “Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested; that is, some books are to be read only in parts; others to be read, but not curiously; and some few are to be read wholly, and with diligence and attention. And finally, still others are to be devoured secretly as guilty pleasures; not in public, where one may be castigated by observers for the pursuit of reading simply for entertainment, but in the comfort and privacy of one’s own home, where they can be enjoyed along with a restorative beverage and an assortment of salty snacks, out of sight of a judgmental public.”

In truth, I must candidly allow that I am not altogether certain of the provenance of the last portion of the above quote. However, I am quite sure that if Francis Bacon had been afforded the opportunity to read Andrew Gillsmith’s “The Final Season,” he would almost certainly have included the above statement in “The Essays.”

For that is the real beauty of this book. It’s written, not to prompt the reader to ponder over the weighty (and often unanswerable) questions of existence, or to imagine a bleak and dystopian future, but for sheer entertainment value. It was absolutely refreshing – and I loved it.

I have for some time now been an admirer of Andrew Gillsmith’s writing ability, and this book, while a wild departure from some of his other stories, still showcases his ability to create believable, relatable characters, even when those characters are three-eyed hairy aliens from a distant planet. In a style reminiscent of Douglas Adams, Andrew Gillsmith fully commits to the absurdity of the premise of his book, which envisions a galactic version of “The Truman Show” in which the hapless residents of Rexos-4 - doomed to destruction by a rogue star headed directly their way - serve as unwitting entertainment for an entire galaxy. With a Machiavellian producer determined to see the Rexans obliterated in a glorious final episode, can a plucky and empathetic novice writer (who yearns for a happier outcome) thwart such an ending?

Not wishing to provide spoilers, I’ll leave it for you to find out. Get the book. Go to your most comfortable reading spot, curl up, relax and be entertained. Because really, when it comes to reading – isn’t that the bloody point?

[Melody · Rating 3 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for a fair and honest review.

I wanted to love this book. The ideas in it were great. The humor was good. But the book was hard for me to read. It was a mix of long sentences and unconventional names of characters. I’m a mom with insomnia who reads at night, so I generally prefer some simplicity in structure.

Now, subject matter wise, I was digging this. It was South Park’s “Cancelled” mixed with Mike Judge’s Idiocracy. These are a favorite tv episode and film of mine.

I would have liked to see more description of the world I was in and the characters I was following. I wanted to know more about the crappy shows on tv, the different ways they consumed media, the food they ate, etc. I studied sociology and folklore, so I love the descriptions of the folkways and structures in society. If that was added, this book would easily be full length and much easier to read.