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Last to Eat, Last to Learn: My Life in Afghanistan Fighting to Educate Women
“Pashtana’s story highlights the resourcefulness and bravery of young women in Afghanistan. I hope readers will be inspired by her mission to give every girl the education she deserves and the opportunity to pursue her dreams.”—Malala Yousafzai
In the spirit of Our House is On Fire by Greta Thunberg, the astonishing and deeply inspiring memoir from a young Afghani activist, Amnesty International Global Youth Ambassador, founder of the NGO LEARN, and women’s education activist whose advocacy for the disappearing girls of rural Afghanistan has led to her being ruthlessly targeted by the Taliban.
A Ms. Magazine Pick for Most Anticipated Feminist Books of 2023
“Sparkles with humor and grit. A lovingly narrated, sharply nuanced memoir from a talented activist.”— Kirkus Reviews STARRED REVIEW
Inspired by generations of her family’s unwavering belief in the power of education, Pashtana Durrani recognized her calling early in life: to educate Afghanistan’s girls and young women, raised in a society where learning is forbidden. In a country devastated by war and violence, where girls are often married off before reaching their teenage years and prohibited from leaving their homes, heeding that call seemed both impossible and dangerous.
Pashtana was raised in an Afghan refugee camp in Pakistan where her father, a tribal leader, founded a community school for girls within their home. Fueled by his insistence that despite being a girl, she mattered and deserved an education, Pashtana was sixteen when, against impossible odds, she was granted a path out of the refugee camp: admittance to a preparatory program at Oxford. Unthinkably and to her parents’ horror, she chose a different path. She chose Afghanistan.
Pashtana founded the nonprofit LEARN and developed a program for getting educational materials directly into the hands of girls in remote areas of the country, training teachers in digital literacy. Her commitment to education has made her a target of the Taliban. Still, she continues to fight for women’s education and autonomy in Afghanistan and beyond.
Courageous and inspiring, Last to Eat, Last to Learn is the story of how just one person can transform a family, a tribe, a country. It reminds us of the emancipatory power of learning and the transformational potential that lies within each of us.
“An inspiring portrait of a change-maker in action.”— Publishers Weekly
A portion of proceeds from Last to Eat, Last to Learn will be donated to LEARN, the NGO dedicated to providing quality education and healthcare to communities in conflict zones.
In the spirit of Our House is On Fire by Greta Thunberg, the astonishing and deeply inspiring memoir from a young Afghani activist, Amnesty International Global Youth Ambassador, founder of the NGO LEARN, and women’s education activist whose advocacy for the disappearing girls of rural Afghanistan has led to her being ruthlessly targeted by the Taliban.
A Ms. Magazine Pick for Most Anticipated Feminist Books of 2023
“Sparkles with humor and grit. A lovingly narrated, sharply nuanced memoir from a talented activist.”— Kirkus Reviews STARRED REVIEW
Inspired by generations of her family’s unwavering belief in the power of education, Pashtana Durrani recognized her calling early in life: to educate Afghanistan’s girls and young women, raised in a society where learning is forbidden. In a country devastated by war and violence, where girls are often married off before reaching their teenage years and prohibited from leaving their homes, heeding that call seemed both impossible and dangerous.
Pashtana was raised in an Afghan refugee camp in Pakistan where her father, a tribal leader, founded a community school for girls within their home. Fueled by his insistence that despite being a girl, she mattered and deserved an education, Pashtana was sixteen when, against impossible odds, she was granted a path out of the refugee camp: admittance to a preparatory program at Oxford. Unthinkably and to her parents’ horror, she chose a different path. She chose Afghanistan.
Pashtana founded the nonprofit LEARN and developed a program for getting educational materials directly into the hands of girls in remote areas of the country, training teachers in digital literacy. Her commitment to education has made her a target of the Taliban. Still, she continues to fight for women’s education and autonomy in Afghanistan and beyond.
Courageous and inspiring, Last to Eat, Last to Learn is the story of how just one person can transform a family, a tribe, a country. It reminds us of the emancipatory power of learning and the transformational potential that lies within each of us.
“An inspiring portrait of a change-maker in action.”— Publishers Weekly
A portion of proceeds from Last to Eat, Last to Learn will be donated to LEARN, the NGO dedicated to providing quality education and healthcare to communities in conflict zones.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published May 23, 2023
78 people are currently reading
11264 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 142 reviews
April 28, 2024
Inspirational and incredible how this author decides to give girls a chance at an education as she did. We need more strong women role models for young girls in areas where their education is often seen as unimportant. Pashtana has always lived as a refugee, since so much fighting is occurred in Afghanistan. Yet, she declines a scholarship to Oxford, so she can try to figure out a way to bring education to girls in rural areas of Afghanistan. She tries different ideas and ultimately even figures out a way to start a project with Tablets, that don’t require the Internet. She knows this will be important since many girls will not be able to leave their homes to go to a school, even if one existed.
I think what especially stood out about this book is how important is is to have a woman whose native country is Afghanistan. She understands much better how the government, tribes, and clans work or often fail to work. Her insight and perseverance is why she is successful. Her heart is always with her own people and her family. She just wants girls and women to have a say in their own lives. Education is key, but she understands there are many different ways to become educated and uses her resources to give that opportunity.
Thank you NetGalley, Pashtana Durrani, and Kensington Books for a copy of this book. I always leave reviews of books I read.
I think what especially stood out about this book is how important is is to have a woman whose native country is Afghanistan. She understands much better how the government, tribes, and clans work or often fail to work. Her insight and perseverance is why she is successful. Her heart is always with her own people and her family. She just wants girls and women to have a say in their own lives. Education is key, but she understands there are many different ways to become educated and uses her resources to give that opportunity.
Thank you NetGalley, Pashtana Durrani, and Kensington Books for a copy of this book. I always leave reviews of books I read.
March 12, 2023
Pashtana is a modern day inspiring woman. She gave many girls in Afghanistan the exposure to an education they are entitled to have even if the men folk and Taliban says they aren't. She started the nonprofit LEARN in Afghanistan instead of attending Oxford University in England. LEARN gets pens, paper, schoolbooks and tablets to the girls of Afghanistan living in remote areas. Pashtana is a true hero for today. Thank you to Kensington Publishing for the early copy in exchange for an honest review.
July 10, 2024
An incredible journey! Pashtana is such an inspiration. Hats off to the lady 🙇♀️
March 10, 2024
I won this through a goodreads give away. Thank you Kensington Publishing and Penguin Random House.
When I first saw the cover, before reading the tittle, it looked like it was a new book by Malala.
What resonated with me the most is don’t underestimate a person because of their gender and where they come from.
This is a story that needs to be read and shared.
When I first saw the cover, before reading the tittle, it looked like it was a new book by Malala.
What resonated with me the most is don’t underestimate a person because of their gender and where they come from.
This is a story that needs to be read and shared.
June 13, 2024
I don’t read a lot of non-fiction but wow. My heart aches amidst all of the struggles and compassion. Beautifully crafted, sharing insights that are often missing from this story.
May 17, 2023
I received an ARC of this book from a Goodreads contest.
Truly a wonderful book. Do yourself a favor and read it. And, if you’re like me, you’ll understand when I say: it has a good smell.
I believe books and a library card are among the greatest gifts you can give to a child. Education, the ability to read and write…I am still in awe that this is not a fundamental right for all humans. I am also in awe of those who give all they have, to help others learn. (I could not imagine having a school running out of my home.)
“To my father, whatever the question, the answer was always education.” - Pashtana Durrani
Truly a wonderful book. Do yourself a favor and read it. And, if you’re like me, you’ll understand when I say: it has a good smell.
I believe books and a library card are among the greatest gifts you can give to a child. Education, the ability to read and write…I am still in awe that this is not a fundamental right for all humans. I am also in awe of those who give all they have, to help others learn. (I could not imagine having a school running out of my home.)
“To my father, whatever the question, the answer was always education.” - Pashtana Durrani
May 9, 2025
I lost track of the number of times I cried while reading this. What a powerful, brave, and incredible young woman. Please do yourself a favour and read this.
September 18, 2023
In the war-ravaged Afghanistan where women, under the 'new improved ' Taliban rule, stripped of all human rights – their work, visibility, opportunity for education, voice, healthcare, and mobility live in the most inhuman conditions, Pashtana Durrani, daughter of a well respected Afghan tribal chief and Amnesty International Global Youth Ambassador, fights against all odds to help the illiterate girls.
Last to Eat, Last to Learn - My Life in Afghanistan Fighting to Educate Women is an upcoming book in which Pashtana Durrani, a girls' education activist and the Founder and Executive Director of LEARN Afghan (an NGO delivering much-needed literacy and education to Afghan girls via covert community schools, online medium, etc.) portrays her struggles and hardships she faced while setting -up her dream project to educate girls in Afghanistan, her homeland.I received an advance online copy via NetGalley (expected publication time February 2024).
This read is Touching. It is intense, emotional, eye-opening and makes one think about one's blessings in life. The book starts with the childhood of the author in Pakistan as an Afghan tribal refugee. The struggles she faced as an outsider, of being a girl in a pro-male community, of being a tribal, etc., make us deeply emotional. From an early age, she witnessed the cruel and underprivileged condition of women especially, those related to education, and all of these paved the way leading to the formation of her dream NGO. As the daughter of an educated great tribal leader who understood the importance and power of education, one could say she was privileged. Pashtana exploited her privilege to help those underprivileged girls around her no matter what. In a community where girls were considered lower than animals, Pashtana's father ran a school within his home for girls and she took this 'family business' (in the book, she says, "Educating girls was our family business" which melted my heart to no ends) to a whole another level becoming a name of hope for hundreds and thousands of hapless Afghan girls.
The book starts with one of the most touching, intense, and hard decisions Pashtana took in her life: the decision not to go to the preparatory program of Oxford, one of the golden tickets out of the unpredictable life her community was leading in Afghanistan and Pakistan. She felt that she needed to be in the community, in the presence of those poor girls to be able to do something helpful. All of us can agree that not many people will be able to make such a momentous decision and turn their lives upside down. It is this fact, this courage to fight headlong, that made me a fan of this prodigious young woman.
Her never-ending tries to forge a way forward, the ingenious idea of the tablets in education, bravery even in the face of immediate death, and the profound love and support of her family aiding and abetting her in each step towards achieving her dream for her homeland; all of these makes us proud that love for fellow-beings is still a facade of humanity.
The book covers the atmosphere in Afghanistan between the period of 2016- 2021 when once again Afghanistan fell under Taliban rule. The conditions of tribal population in Afghanistan, the anti-tribal attitude of the pre-Taliban government, the government's western-oriented approaches in education that were not helping the population, neglect of rural areas, how the government is looting money in the name of non-existent education, and many such crucial issues are described in detail in this small but matter-of-fact book.
Written in a simple style, in heartfelt language, this profoundly inspiring autobiography will not disappoint the reader at all.
Last but not least, the title of the book. The words ‘Last to Eat, Last to Learn’ are the exact condition of women, not only in Afghanistan but in many such countries where fundamentalist governments rule. The title itself is enough to make one sit and think hard about the condition of women in our ‘ultra-modern liberal’ world.
This will surely be an eye-opener for those who take education for granted. Without a doubt, I will refer this to all those teachers and students out there. I will not be surprised if her book becomes a part of a school curriculum somewhere in the future.
Thank you Kensington Books, Citadel, and NetGalley for an advance copy of this wonderful autobiography.
Last to Eat, Last to Learn - My Life in Afghanistan Fighting to Educate Women is an upcoming book in which Pashtana Durrani, a girls' education activist and the Founder and Executive Director of LEARN Afghan (an NGO delivering much-needed literacy and education to Afghan girls via covert community schools, online medium, etc.) portrays her struggles and hardships she faced while setting -up her dream project to educate girls in Afghanistan, her homeland.I received an advance online copy via NetGalley (expected publication time February 2024).
This read is Touching. It is intense, emotional, eye-opening and makes one think about one's blessings in life. The book starts with the childhood of the author in Pakistan as an Afghan tribal refugee. The struggles she faced as an outsider, of being a girl in a pro-male community, of being a tribal, etc., make us deeply emotional. From an early age, she witnessed the cruel and underprivileged condition of women especially, those related to education, and all of these paved the way leading to the formation of her dream NGO. As the daughter of an educated great tribal leader who understood the importance and power of education, one could say she was privileged. Pashtana exploited her privilege to help those underprivileged girls around her no matter what. In a community where girls were considered lower than animals, Pashtana's father ran a school within his home for girls and she took this 'family business' (in the book, she says, "Educating girls was our family business" which melted my heart to no ends) to a whole another level becoming a name of hope for hundreds and thousands of hapless Afghan girls.
The book starts with one of the most touching, intense, and hard decisions Pashtana took in her life: the decision not to go to the preparatory program of Oxford, one of the golden tickets out of the unpredictable life her community was leading in Afghanistan and Pakistan. She felt that she needed to be in the community, in the presence of those poor girls to be able to do something helpful. All of us can agree that not many people will be able to make such a momentous decision and turn their lives upside down. It is this fact, this courage to fight headlong, that made me a fan of this prodigious young woman.
Her never-ending tries to forge a way forward, the ingenious idea of the tablets in education, bravery even in the face of immediate death, and the profound love and support of her family aiding and abetting her in each step towards achieving her dream for her homeland; all of these makes us proud that love for fellow-beings is still a facade of humanity.
The book covers the atmosphere in Afghanistan between the period of 2016- 2021 when once again Afghanistan fell under Taliban rule. The conditions of tribal population in Afghanistan, the anti-tribal attitude of the pre-Taliban government, the government's western-oriented approaches in education that were not helping the population, neglect of rural areas, how the government is looting money in the name of non-existent education, and many such crucial issues are described in detail in this small but matter-of-fact book.
Written in a simple style, in heartfelt language, this profoundly inspiring autobiography will not disappoint the reader at all.
Last but not least, the title of the book. The words ‘Last to Eat, Last to Learn’ are the exact condition of women, not only in Afghanistan but in many such countries where fundamentalist governments rule. The title itself is enough to make one sit and think hard about the condition of women in our ‘ultra-modern liberal’ world.
This will surely be an eye-opener for those who take education for granted. Without a doubt, I will refer this to all those teachers and students out there. I will not be surprised if her book becomes a part of a school curriculum somewhere in the future.
Thank you Kensington Books, Citadel, and NetGalley for an advance copy of this wonderful autobiography.
December 15, 2023
This is an insider's view of the Afghanistan and Pakistan border, by a third generation refugee girl, who found Pakistanis called her an Afghani and Afghan people called her Pakistani. Also because she was from a tribal family, city people looked down on her anyway. The real hero comes across as being her father, a big-hearted man of means who happened to have girl children before a boy, and so gave his time and resources to the growing girls. He showed the author how to meet the people in his tribe and care about their problems, speak up for them and help them.
Having been educated at home and schools, the author found it hard to explain to patriarchs why they would be interested in educating girls and women. The obvious answers to give - that women run the home and it's safer if they can read, plus they will educate both boys and girls at home - took her three months to find.
With some unusual choices, and heart-stopping moments - a bomb, deaths, the regular sound of gunfire in Kabul, sitting on a still plane for six hours waiting to get out of the country - the author fought bureaucracy and endemic corruption to bring education to girls in their homes. She's brave and determined, and while I hadn't heard of her, I don't use facebook or twitter so others probably have. The story is well written and highly readable. NGOs should read this book and learn the lessons exposed. For instance, stop funding school building when the locals blow up the buildings and girls are not allowed to go outdoors anyway. Distribute pre-loaded solar powered tablets. Great solution.
I read this e-ARC book from Net Galley. This is an unbiased review.
Having been educated at home and schools, the author found it hard to explain to patriarchs why they would be interested in educating girls and women. The obvious answers to give - that women run the home and it's safer if they can read, plus they will educate both boys and girls at home - took her three months to find.
With some unusual choices, and heart-stopping moments - a bomb, deaths, the regular sound of gunfire in Kabul, sitting on a still plane for six hours waiting to get out of the country - the author fought bureaucracy and endemic corruption to bring education to girls in their homes. She's brave and determined, and while I hadn't heard of her, I don't use facebook or twitter so others probably have. The story is well written and highly readable. NGOs should read this book and learn the lessons exposed. For instance, stop funding school building when the locals blow up the buildings and girls are not allowed to go outdoors anyway. Distribute pre-loaded solar powered tablets. Great solution.
I read this e-ARC book from Net Galley. This is an unbiased review.
November 10, 2023
Just finished reading this Goodreads giveaway! #LastToEatLastToLearn by Pashtana Durrani is a thought-provoking read. A contemporary telling of the author's life - her struggles and achievements - in the Middle East. It's easy to forget the limitations on freedoms that are given so easily to most of us in the United States. Pashtana Durrani writes in such a way that it is simple enough to understand or grasp the political and social events going on in her life, yet also colorful enough to paint pictures and hold interest throughout the story. Events not even three years old are described! Coming March of 2024 - be on the lookout! A good read! #BetweenTheChapters
March 19, 2025
this wickedly brilliant women is a fellow at Wellesley. her journey is incredible, and she has such a creative vision for the world. 😮
August 11, 2023
We all know that the news doesn’t tell the whole story, but the story told by this third-generation Afghan refugee is eye-opening. She fights with fierce determination against threat from both her family and the Taliban to bring education to the ones most forgotten in the country she loves so much.
“You don’t make history simpler by ignoring parts of the population who don’t fit into the narrative.”
“You can rage, and you should, over child labor, but if you condition education on attendance on your terms, you’re simply excluding children that need it the most.”
“Afghanistan was a child of a bitter divorce of cultures, a battlefield where someone else’s principles were printed on the banners of the fighting armies. We lost ourselves.”
The writing style wasn’t my favorite and she sometimes over- or under-explained things. But the story and her intense desire to continue fighting for Afghanistan made me keep reading until the very end.
“You don’t make history simpler by ignoring parts of the population who don’t fit into the narrative.”
“You can rage, and you should, over child labor, but if you condition education on attendance on your terms, you’re simply excluding children that need it the most.”
“Afghanistan was a child of a bitter divorce of cultures, a battlefield where someone else’s principles were printed on the banners of the fighting armies. We lost ourselves.”
The writing style wasn’t my favorite and she sometimes over- or under-explained things. But the story and her intense desire to continue fighting for Afghanistan made me keep reading until the very end.
June 26, 2024
Probably a 4.5⭐️ There is something that makes me hesitant to give it a 5, but I can’t really put my finger on why that is. This was a very good book! I did cry. As a reader, I was craving more from the ending of this book, but it ended truly perfect and where it needed to be/go (I’m just selfish hahah). I love reading books like these. Pashtana is such an inspiring and driven young woman. I love her and her father’s relationship. I loved how relatable she was. I have a very different background from her, we didn’t grow up the same, but she was so funny. I loved her humor. I felt like I truly knew her voice and a little of her personality. Pashtana is a truly incredible woman who is making the world better than she found it.
October 1, 2023
Thank you, NetGalley and Kensington Books, for the advanced copy of "Last to Eat, Last to Learn" for review consideration. All opinions are my own.
"Last to Eat, Last to Learn" brings the people of Pakistan and Afghanistan to life. Ms. Durrani's passion, determination, and confidence are truly inspiring. There are no words for how touching it was to read about her relationship with her father and how he elevated her - no matter what anyone else said. It is obvious that his complete faith in his daughter is what gave her such passion, determination, and confidence.
After reading about the founding of Ms. Durrani's NGO, LEARN, I look forward to following up on how this innovative organization grows. "Last to Eat, Last to Learn" should have a place of honor in every US school library, and LEARN's tablets would be incredible tools to help educate American students in overpopulated and rural schools that lack broadband access. According to a recent FCC Report, "22.3 percent of Americans in rural areas and 27.7 percent of Americans in Tribal lands lack coverage from fixed terrestrial 25/3 Mbps broadband."
Much can be learned from Ms. Durrani and Ms. Bralo, not only about Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Islam, but also how we could potentially increase educational opportunities in portions of the US. I highly recommend "Last to Eat, Last to Learn."
"Last to Eat, Last to Learn" brings the people of Pakistan and Afghanistan to life. Ms. Durrani's passion, determination, and confidence are truly inspiring. There are no words for how touching it was to read about her relationship with her father and how he elevated her - no matter what anyone else said. It is obvious that his complete faith in his daughter is what gave her such passion, determination, and confidence.
After reading about the founding of Ms. Durrani's NGO, LEARN, I look forward to following up on how this innovative organization grows. "Last to Eat, Last to Learn" should have a place of honor in every US school library, and LEARN's tablets would be incredible tools to help educate American students in overpopulated and rural schools that lack broadband access. According to a recent FCC Report, "22.3 percent of Americans in rural areas and 27.7 percent of Americans in Tribal lands lack coverage from fixed terrestrial 25/3 Mbps broadband."
Much can be learned from Ms. Durrani and Ms. Bralo, not only about Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Islam, but also how we could potentially increase educational opportunities in portions of the US. I highly recommend "Last to Eat, Last to Learn."
May 26, 2023
Last to Eat, Last to Learn is both a coming of age story and a memoir of a young Afghan woman on a personal quest to further girls' education. The book would make a great companion for middle or high school readers, or a women's study program. It expands a view of world history and the message that education can never be taken for granted. This book places us in Afghanistan and Pakistan, two countries that are in the news, and yet from which few first-hand accounts have made it out of those countries (for many real-world realities.)
Pashtana Durrani is a remarkable young woman who speaks from the heart, and honestly about being fallible. This book deserves a good audience. My only wish is that we knew more of an epilogue of where she is today, as a result of her efforts and events at the end of the book. I'd say more but no spoilers. A set of discussion questions would add to the conversations this book is sure to generate. As I know little of Afghanistan beyond American news, a map would be helpful for a visual of travel distances, borders and settings.
The book is a recommend. Thank you to Goodreads and the publisher. I won an advance copy in a giveaway.
Pashtana Durrani is a remarkable young woman who speaks from the heart, and honestly about being fallible. This book deserves a good audience. My only wish is that we knew more of an epilogue of where she is today, as a result of her efforts and events at the end of the book. I'd say more but no spoilers. A set of discussion questions would add to the conversations this book is sure to generate. As I know little of Afghanistan beyond American news, a map would be helpful for a visual of travel distances, borders and settings.
The book is a recommend. Thank you to Goodreads and the publisher. I won an advance copy in a giveaway.
June 9, 2023
I received this book through a good reads giveaway. I've always had an interest in life in the Middle East. yet doubtful I will ever go there. There are so many strong women who are willing to fight for education which we take for granted. It was a very interesting book about her coming of age with the strong support of her father-her mentor and number one fan. Her father stressed the importance of education to her when traditionally that was not the norm. Her love for learning took her where she is today. Her project LEARN is continuing to help girls receive the education they deserve.
April 28, 2025
So so cool!! The perfect read for anyone who has ever liked Malala or Persepolis, or is interested in Middle Eastern politics through the eyes of actual real people! Also the behind the scenes of her grassroots organization and the work she does is not only amazing to read about, but also is inspiring! Like I would have no clue where to start when opening a school, but she provides a guide to how to make the world a better place one step at a time. Literally one of the coolest women ever I'm so glad I read this
December 2, 2024
Rounded up from 3.5 stars.
Pashtana’s story is an important one. Her perseverance and fight for social justice are fierce; however, the story focused more on the struggles of being an Afghan refugee than on her mission establishing and keeping LEARN active in its mission to educate young girls. At the end of the book, I wanted to know more about her work from afar in the US in keeping this mission a priority.
Thank you for the ARC!
Pashtana’s story is an important one. Her perseverance and fight for social justice are fierce; however, the story focused more on the struggles of being an Afghan refugee than on her mission establishing and keeping LEARN active in its mission to educate young girls. At the end of the book, I wanted to know more about her work from afar in the US in keeping this mission a priority.
Thank you for the ARC!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 17, 2023
I received this book as an Arc which has no influence over my review at all.
This was such a great memoir. So beautifully written that I didn't want yo put it down. Pastrana writes her story so eloquently that it sucks you in and creates the picture of the life as an Afghan woman.
I know she will keep fighting and I hope this book helps others not to forget the women of Afghanistan.
This was such a great memoir. So beautifully written that I didn't want yo put it down. Pastrana writes her story so eloquently that it sucks you in and creates the picture of the life as an Afghan woman.
I know she will keep fighting and I hope this book helps others not to forget the women of Afghanistan.
February 1, 2025
I really enjoyed reading her story. It gave me an insight into what living in Afghanistan was and is like. All the adversities that the author had to face to achieve her goal of setting up education in place for girls in her home country were incredible. She has true strength. I wish a book like this was around when I was younger because she is definitely a role model for women no matter what background they come from and a reminder to be stronger about standing up for oneself. Will definitely re-read in the future.
April 17, 2023
A very inspiring memoir. It was also a good narrative on the Afghanistani politics of the last couple of decades.
May 17, 2023
I won this book from a Goodreads giveaway. I'm not sure it was something that I would have picked up otherwise. It always feels weird to read a book that is during my lifetime (especially one that ends in 2021, less than 2 years before I read it). I thought it did a good job to draw you into her story. I often found myself emotionally attached to Pashtanan (the author and main character), anxious when she was in danger, frustrated with the wrongs, cheering for her successes, and sad amongst all the tragedies.
I would definitely recommend reading this, if nothing else, just to help understand differences from other countries and cultures.
I would definitely recommend reading this, if nothing else, just to help understand differences from other countries and cultures.
October 23, 2024
I won this book on Goodreads . I enjoyed it from beginning to end . This was inspirational to read authored by a brave young woman.
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March 7, 2025Didn't want to give this a star rating, because it's someone's life story.
August 31, 2023
I received a copy of "Last to Eat, Last to Learn" from NetGalley. Pashtana Durrani, the author of this book. Was Born in Afghanistan for part of her childhood she lived there before her family had to move to Pakistan. She writes of what is it like to be girl growing up in Pakistan and Afghanistan. Girls do not have the same rights as boys. Her father had high status and backed up girls having a right to an education. Pashtana knew the importance of an education for girls. She fought hard for girls to get an education. she faces the tragedy of loosing her father to Covid and shortly after the Taliban forced their way back into power which made it more impossible for females to get an education let alone have any power. She writes a very honest and hard to read book about her struggles to have her voice and to also get more education for herself where she tries leave her country. I was very impressed by her perserverance to try and get an education for girls. A good interesting read that has me want to know more about her and the years into the future.
January 11, 2024
I received this book as a Goodrfeads giveaway. Pashtana Durrani's memoi weaves its narrative through the conflict, societal norms, hierarchy, and powerful tribal system that characterizes Afghanistan while She is striving to provide education to the girls and young women of her country. Raised in an Afghan refugee camp in Pakistan, she was secretly educated by her parents who believed that the only way out of the camp was education. Witness to war, hunger, and many other hardships, Pashtana defied all odds, including attempts on her life, to become an Amnesty International Global Youth Ambassador, a United Nations Youth Envoy, and a successful tribal leader. The aspect of her memoir that I like the most is how Durrani reintroduces the legacy of her predecessors, determined to put women of the region into a historical context and to resurrect a period that lost its way in the crisis.
February 28, 2025
Last to Eat, Last to Learn tells the inspiring story of Pashtana Durrani and her family. The story begins with Durrani’s grandmother, who left her husband when he took a second wife. She gave her children the choice to remain with their father or follow her. All of her children gave up worldly possessions and birth rights to follow their mother, who supported them by herself for years. The story continues with Durrani’s father, a tribal leader who educated Durrani and started a girls’ school for years, despite constant criticism. Finally, the story follows Durrani’s own activism, when she starts her own NGO LEARN Afghanistan. The story ends with the heartbreaking parallelisms between Durrani’s father defeating the Taliban decades earlier and Durrani watching the recent Taliban takeover. The story ends with an ambiguous ending, wondering what the future might bring. Below are some quotes that stuck with me.
📚 “There was something in all this that I found puzzling. Not the beatings – domestic violence behind closed doors is common, even us kids knew that. It was the fact that Zarghona lived with her mother, her stepmother, and three sisters and all of them were beaten daily. Six women beaten by a single man. I thought I had the solution and wondered why no one else thought of it: they could beat him up. Once I voiced my avenger fantasy in front of Sarghona and my mother, there was stunned silence. Mistaking it for encouragement to continue speaking, I emphasized: “There are six of you!” My mother was still silent; my remark apparently was so exceedingly stupid and uniformed that it didn’t even deserve a flying chaplak. Suddenly, I was the one to pity. ‘It’s not how things work,’ Zarghona explained tiredly, assuming the role of a nanny. ‘But why?’ I insisted.”
📚 “She wasn’t going to go to school anymore; she got married, her father explained. Her new husband was a widower, in his late thirties, with three small children, and he needed someone to raise those children. Pashtana’s father explained he had no choice but to marry her off because he couldn’t feed her anymore. She would be better off this way, he said. Pashtana was nine years old. I knew about little girls getting married; it’s everywhere around you, all these disappearing girls. But Pushtana was different. She was my measure of things, my ordering of the world. How could she be so easily erased? It was an end as final as death, without even being granted a funeral.”
📚 “I reached out to Rumie, and we hit it off immediately. Rumie is one of those rare organizations that seemed unaware of the existence of a box that one is supposed to be thinking in. They had a penchant for unconventional ideas, and as my idea was borderline crazy, it definitely qualified.”
📚 “He talked about how much he’d been struggling with developing the girls’ imagination. ‘It is possibly the biggest issue we face as educators here.’ I nodded; I knew how hard it must be to shape minds already defeated by life. The girls were taught to look down at their shuffling feet from the moment they’re born. Developing imagination requires looking up. Encouraging it requires a concrete, detailed map, not platitudes and slogans about what’s achievable.”
📚 “Elated, I didn’t care that, yet again, I had no money for a cab, that it would take me hours to get home. Who needs a taxi anyway? All those times when I had to choose between developing content and getting to eat now seemed worth it. The Lion King girl, whose imagination I personally helped develop, was going to be an artist”
📚 “Everybody assumed the old lady was a relative who just missed the wake, so one of my cousins followed her to thank her for coming and extend the invitation to see the family. She declined, saying that she wasn’t related to us and that she couldn’t possibly go. ‘Why then,’ my cousin asked, ‘did you come?’ ‘It was thirty years ago that I lost my husband in the war. I ended up on the street with my children, begging. I had nowhere to go.’ My father, whom they had never met before, happened upon them and took her and her children in. Wiping her tears she said, ‘When I heard he died, I wanted to thank him one more time for his kindness. I wanted God to know how grateful I was.’”
📚 “For years he’d been asked, ‘Why do you always take the girl with you?’ Time after time, my father would let it be known that he took offense to me being called the ‘girl.’ ‘She’s my child.’ It wasn’t the semantics. It’s a distinction few outside Afghanistan could ever understand, but here, it made a world of difference. My father knew his people well. The label of ‘child’ and not ‘girl’ apparently made me an exception to the fule in the eyes of the tribe, and this gave me a head start. I was already in the public sphere, not a space that was easily granted to a woman.”
📚 “As devastating, as humiliating as it was to watch the country slowly fold, I understood the lack of resistance too. How many sons are you meant to sacrifice to a government that doesn’t care, that doesn’t fix, that requires more and more blood to be spilled without giving anything in return?”
📚 “... I kept thinking of the woman of Kandahar Province. They couldn’t even post their misery. Over half of them are illiterate. They’ll perish in silence behind closed doors, the way they lived. It will be like they never really existed.”
📚 “We were okay, if just for that one moment. I don’t know how our story ends. Not for Afghanistan, not for my girls, nor for my family. Not even for me. It doesn’t matter. Sometimes, all you can do is just keep writing.”
Read
April 8, 2025"If you're a tribal woman, the bar for activism is low. Trained our entire lives to be neither seen nor heard, whenever one of us tries to raise her voice, it becomes a political act." (12)
"She was the one to educate them all on a housecleaner's salary. It was Khan Bibi's voice , determined and suffering no fools, that echoed through everything we were taught about women, about education, about poverty. She was the first to show us that a choice between food and education is not a choice at all. It became a guiding light for my father, a torch I would continue to carry. Above all, to us, Khan Bibi was a symbol of the Afghanistan we lost." (15)
"When humanitarian aid arrived, my father would let everyone in the camp know. I remember so vividly my mother and aunt creating little packages and then handing them out: children first, then women. Men would go last. It's not the usual order of things in our part of the world, but it was our house and our rules." (16)
"I didn't need a geometry set. I needed the purple geometry set from the aid shipment. He wouldn't budge. 'You cannot take from your community if you're a good leader.' It's a sound rule, I agreed, but surely there are always exceptions. Like the shiny purpose geometry sets. I lost the argument, not for the want of trying. It stayed with me though, this strict sense of fairness and justice he kept drumming into me - although it took growing up to understand it fully. To my father, leadership meant serving your people, putting them first, and he was grooming me, for as long as I can remember, to do the same." (17)
"Being a firstborn means nothin gin Afghan society if you're a girl, but that too was different in our family. My father doted on me, treating me with the affection and attention normally reserved for sons. I'd trail him everywhere. He once left three hundred men waiting in order to finish drinking make-believe tea at a party with my dolls. I, of course, adored him right back. People seemed genuinely puzzled by his devotion to a daughter who, as it was pointed out in all seriousness, 'wasn't even that pretty,' the only criterion to judge a woman of any age. He didn't seem to care." (18)
"When my father left, there were no phone calls, no information for weeks. My mother would sit and listen to the radio, a litany of villages and towns being fought over, won, and lost. That's how we found out that there was an attack on Spin Boldak, the town where my father was. After reporting about the fighting, after they'd gone through all the updates, the announcer read the list of those killed. My father's name was on it. . . . A week passed. I was in the garden to escape the gloom that permeated the house, digging as usual, when my father walked into the courtyard. He was covered with dried blood. His head, hands, hips - it seemed like every part of his body was bandaged up. I think that was the first time I understood what war was: wounds and blood and waiting for people who may or may not come back. . . . When I finally reached him, I held on to his leg screaming, 'You're back, you're back!' Suddenly, everybody was running out of the house. My mom came running toward him and hugged him. I remember that hug so clearly. Even I found it shocking: you really don't do that in our culture; you don't hug in public. We Pashtuns don't stand for a public display of emotions, and if you absolutely have to display emotions, you're best to restrict them to stubbornness, anger, and courage. My mother didn't seem to care. There she was, hugging my father. That's when she cried for the first time. It made no sense to me. It was over. Why cry now? My father was back from the dead." (19)
"He stayed with us a week, to heal and recover before going back to fight. That would be the longest he stayed with us for a while. . . . As I sat at his feet, delighted by his unexpected presence, he told stories of Afghan heroines of the past. He talked about Malalai, about Queen Soraya. 'Those women changed Afghanistan, and you can too. You just need to go to school and study,' he said, looking at me. I found the entire conversation confusing. I did go to school. I didn't probe further, though; I was happy to have him back and, given the extent of his injuries, it didn't really seem like a good time to question him. I didn't know that the Taliban didn't allow women o leave the house, to work. I didn't know it had been a while since an Afghan woman succeeded at anything. I realize now those conversations were meant as a spoken will, that this brush with death made him see that the times were too uncertain to wait for me to grow up to hear what he wanted me to know." (21)
"It was a love marriage, but that's apparently hardly a guarantee that things would go smoothly. Adjustments weren't easy for my mother. When we were alone as a family, she could be herself, but as soon as there were people around, it seemed like she had to be told every few minutes to cover up, or listen better, or to understand more and talk less. Life wasn't easy on her, nor was the tribal structure she married into. It wasn't just because she was a woman. Our gender dynamics are far more complicated than that. It's blood, too. As a daughter you can be empowered because you're born into a clan. But as a wife, if you marry out of your power base, you lose that privilege. I could follow my father into tribal meetings. I was even allowed to speak. My mother rarely left the house. I found it strange that even at the age of ten or so, my words carried more power than my mother's. I could cough, and my father would rush back from Afghanistan to take me to see a doctor. But when my mother fell ill, he was nowhere to be found for forty days. My uncles could boss her around with abandon, but as long as my father was around, they could never speak that way to me. I was blood, and she wasn't." (23)
"The streets of Kabul are full of five-year-olds who are the sole breadwinners in their family, selling knickknacks to passing cars. My childhood was different. I had chores, but more often than not, I was running around with my cousins or digging in the garden. That kind of freedom was generally reserved for boys. Girls were meant to stay home, surrounded by grown-ups, never raising their voice, never expressing an opinion. It was training for marriage, for the rest of their lives. It was a way to teach the girls to accept without questioning, whatever horrible treatment came their way. . . . Hanging out with boys gave me a different structure, a different understanding of the world. The only way for me to be heard in a group of my male cousins was to be louder and smarter. They were older than me, but still, being a daughter of a khan was as close to equality as an Afghan girl gets." (23)
"One day, the Other Pashtuns didn't show up at school. My father, at my insistence, went to their house to inquire what happened. She wasn't going to go to school anymore; she got married, her father explained. Her new husband was a widower, in his late thirties, with three small children, and he needed someone to raise those children. Pashtana's father explained he had no choice but to marry her off because he couldn't feed her anymore. She would be better this way, he said. Pashtuns was nine years old." (35)
"Lack of education wasn't a byproduct of poverty; it was a weapon. Denying it was deliberate and served a political purpose. It was meant to keep the girls silent, compliant, and disconnected from the world. It denied them a voice." (48)
"She sounded almost apologetic for bringing up her own tragedy. She clearly had to tell her story before and knew that those who heard it would find it difficult to continue with small talk, so she took it upon herself to overcome the silence." (66)
"The entire modern history of Afghanistan can be seen as one long armed and violent argument about whether or not girls should be educated. One way or the other, all the upheavals, all the wars had something to do with educating us. It was Queen Soraya who started the fight for women's rights in the 1910s, at the same time as her contemporaries around the world. Afghan women were granted the right to vote in 1919, a year before the American women achieved theirs. It was Queen Soraya who opened the first all-girls school in Afghanistan. We were winning there for a bit. But as a result of power struggles and tribal disputes, as well as too much modernity too soon; Queen Soraya and the ruling family were exiled. Women's rights were exiled with them." (69)
"I believe everybody should have parents like mine: the one parent that trusts you blindly, and the one who challenges every word that comes out of your mouth. The first one gives you ideals and courage, but it's the second one that teaches you to sharpen your arguments. I know I don't say it enough, but I thank God for mine every day." (76)
"It took me two months to prepare the answer. I searched for religious, cultural, and practical arguments. It was my mother who trained me for this moment with her skepticism, with her cross-examination of every decision I've ever made in life. Debate clubs have nothing on a Pashtun mother hurling chaplains at you whenever you get the answer wrong. Chaplaks significantly improve your critical-thinking abilities. . . . Too often we judge people for making us defend our point of view. Yet the only questions that have the power to offend us are the ones we don't have the answer to." (113)
"I remember when I was young, I would see my father's great aunt sitting in the garden with her friends: a gang of old women, I peccable dressed. These old women carried themselves differently, refusing to adjust to miserable surroundings, refusing to blend in. They stood out in every way possible. Not just with their beautiful clothes, but by the very fact that they were sitting outside, lacking servility and fear. Just imagine, in the middle of all that squalor, a gang of beautifully dressed old women smoking a hookah, discussing life. Not war, not politics, just life: land, farming, children.
They would laugh out loud, a shocking sound to hear outside a home as it's considered inappropriate for a woman to laugh in public. Their age protected them. from judgement, though; they seemed finally free. It seemed to me as if they were saying, 'You see? If only you manage to live long enough, you can age out of the humiliations imposed on you for being a woman.' They remembered a different existence, a life before fleeing, and they weren't going to let anyone box them in. They were irrefutable proof that you could make your own rules. Even if you are a woman." (126)
"There was a wealth of ways we never tapped into that could be used to educate people; why ignore them? God knows we needed all the help we could get. We needed skills far more than we needed degrees." (127)
"It was only his tears that made me realize that I, a twenty-three-year-old woman, was now the leader of one of Afghanistan's biggest, most influential tribes." (158)
"It took me one video to realize that the Taliban didn't need to do much to silence me. All they needed to do was blackmail me like they did to Fatima Rahmati, an activist whose brothers were taken; she was forced to reverse her statements on civil rights in order to save them. The only things I had were my pride and honor. I would lose them if I was forced to make a statement in the Taliban's favor. I thought of all those women who had to give up their freedom because they were worried about their family, who had to choose between freedom and family. That thought broke me." (173)
"When Sangeena announced that she'd go back with me, my mother just threw her arms up int he air; there was nothing left to say. One stupid decision after another rendered her speechless. Her children were idiots. She was done with us. There were not enough goats in the world to keep us alive." (190)
"She was the one to educate them all on a housecleaner's salary. It was Khan Bibi's voice , determined and suffering no fools, that echoed through everything we were taught about women, about education, about poverty. She was the first to show us that a choice between food and education is not a choice at all. It became a guiding light for my father, a torch I would continue to carry. Above all, to us, Khan Bibi was a symbol of the Afghanistan we lost." (15)
"When humanitarian aid arrived, my father would let everyone in the camp know. I remember so vividly my mother and aunt creating little packages and then handing them out: children first, then women. Men would go last. It's not the usual order of things in our part of the world, but it was our house and our rules." (16)
"I didn't need a geometry set. I needed the purple geometry set from the aid shipment. He wouldn't budge. 'You cannot take from your community if you're a good leader.' It's a sound rule, I agreed, but surely there are always exceptions. Like the shiny purpose geometry sets. I lost the argument, not for the want of trying. It stayed with me though, this strict sense of fairness and justice he kept drumming into me - although it took growing up to understand it fully. To my father, leadership meant serving your people, putting them first, and he was grooming me, for as long as I can remember, to do the same." (17)
"Being a firstborn means nothin gin Afghan society if you're a girl, but that too was different in our family. My father doted on me, treating me with the affection and attention normally reserved for sons. I'd trail him everywhere. He once left three hundred men waiting in order to finish drinking make-believe tea at a party with my dolls. I, of course, adored him right back. People seemed genuinely puzzled by his devotion to a daughter who, as it was pointed out in all seriousness, 'wasn't even that pretty,' the only criterion to judge a woman of any age. He didn't seem to care." (18)
"When my father left, there were no phone calls, no information for weeks. My mother would sit and listen to the radio, a litany of villages and towns being fought over, won, and lost. That's how we found out that there was an attack on Spin Boldak, the town where my father was. After reporting about the fighting, after they'd gone through all the updates, the announcer read the list of those killed. My father's name was on it. . . . A week passed. I was in the garden to escape the gloom that permeated the house, digging as usual, when my father walked into the courtyard. He was covered with dried blood. His head, hands, hips - it seemed like every part of his body was bandaged up. I think that was the first time I understood what war was: wounds and blood and waiting for people who may or may not come back. . . . When I finally reached him, I held on to his leg screaming, 'You're back, you're back!' Suddenly, everybody was running out of the house. My mom came running toward him and hugged him. I remember that hug so clearly. Even I found it shocking: you really don't do that in our culture; you don't hug in public. We Pashtuns don't stand for a public display of emotions, and if you absolutely have to display emotions, you're best to restrict them to stubbornness, anger, and courage. My mother didn't seem to care. There she was, hugging my father. That's when she cried for the first time. It made no sense to me. It was over. Why cry now? My father was back from the dead." (19)
"He stayed with us a week, to heal and recover before going back to fight. That would be the longest he stayed with us for a while. . . . As I sat at his feet, delighted by his unexpected presence, he told stories of Afghan heroines of the past. He talked about Malalai, about Queen Soraya. 'Those women changed Afghanistan, and you can too. You just need to go to school and study,' he said, looking at me. I found the entire conversation confusing. I did go to school. I didn't probe further, though; I was happy to have him back and, given the extent of his injuries, it didn't really seem like a good time to question him. I didn't know that the Taliban didn't allow women o leave the house, to work. I didn't know it had been a while since an Afghan woman succeeded at anything. I realize now those conversations were meant as a spoken will, that this brush with death made him see that the times were too uncertain to wait for me to grow up to hear what he wanted me to know." (21)
"It was a love marriage, but that's apparently hardly a guarantee that things would go smoothly. Adjustments weren't easy for my mother. When we were alone as a family, she could be herself, but as soon as there were people around, it seemed like she had to be told every few minutes to cover up, or listen better, or to understand more and talk less. Life wasn't easy on her, nor was the tribal structure she married into. It wasn't just because she was a woman. Our gender dynamics are far more complicated than that. It's blood, too. As a daughter you can be empowered because you're born into a clan. But as a wife, if you marry out of your power base, you lose that privilege. I could follow my father into tribal meetings. I was even allowed to speak. My mother rarely left the house. I found it strange that even at the age of ten or so, my words carried more power than my mother's. I could cough, and my father would rush back from Afghanistan to take me to see a doctor. But when my mother fell ill, he was nowhere to be found for forty days. My uncles could boss her around with abandon, but as long as my father was around, they could never speak that way to me. I was blood, and she wasn't." (23)
"The streets of Kabul are full of five-year-olds who are the sole breadwinners in their family, selling knickknacks to passing cars. My childhood was different. I had chores, but more often than not, I was running around with my cousins or digging in the garden. That kind of freedom was generally reserved for boys. Girls were meant to stay home, surrounded by grown-ups, never raising their voice, never expressing an opinion. It was training for marriage, for the rest of their lives. It was a way to teach the girls to accept without questioning, whatever horrible treatment came their way. . . . Hanging out with boys gave me a different structure, a different understanding of the world. The only way for me to be heard in a group of my male cousins was to be louder and smarter. They were older than me, but still, being a daughter of a khan was as close to equality as an Afghan girl gets." (23)
"One day, the Other Pashtuns didn't show up at school. My father, at my insistence, went to their house to inquire what happened. She wasn't going to go to school anymore; she got married, her father explained. Her new husband was a widower, in his late thirties, with three small children, and he needed someone to raise those children. Pashtana's father explained he had no choice but to marry her off because he couldn't feed her anymore. She would be better this way, he said. Pashtuns was nine years old." (35)
"Lack of education wasn't a byproduct of poverty; it was a weapon. Denying it was deliberate and served a political purpose. It was meant to keep the girls silent, compliant, and disconnected from the world. It denied them a voice." (48)
"She sounded almost apologetic for bringing up her own tragedy. She clearly had to tell her story before and knew that those who heard it would find it difficult to continue with small talk, so she took it upon herself to overcome the silence." (66)
"The entire modern history of Afghanistan can be seen as one long armed and violent argument about whether or not girls should be educated. One way or the other, all the upheavals, all the wars had something to do with educating us. It was Queen Soraya who started the fight for women's rights in the 1910s, at the same time as her contemporaries around the world. Afghan women were granted the right to vote in 1919, a year before the American women achieved theirs. It was Queen Soraya who opened the first all-girls school in Afghanistan. We were winning there for a bit. But as a result of power struggles and tribal disputes, as well as too much modernity too soon; Queen Soraya and the ruling family were exiled. Women's rights were exiled with them." (69)
"I believe everybody should have parents like mine: the one parent that trusts you blindly, and the one who challenges every word that comes out of your mouth. The first one gives you ideals and courage, but it's the second one that teaches you to sharpen your arguments. I know I don't say it enough, but I thank God for mine every day." (76)
"It took me two months to prepare the answer. I searched for religious, cultural, and practical arguments. It was my mother who trained me for this moment with her skepticism, with her cross-examination of every decision I've ever made in life. Debate clubs have nothing on a Pashtun mother hurling chaplains at you whenever you get the answer wrong. Chaplaks significantly improve your critical-thinking abilities. . . . Too often we judge people for making us defend our point of view. Yet the only questions that have the power to offend us are the ones we don't have the answer to." (113)
"I remember when I was young, I would see my father's great aunt sitting in the garden with her friends: a gang of old women, I peccable dressed. These old women carried themselves differently, refusing to adjust to miserable surroundings, refusing to blend in. They stood out in every way possible. Not just with their beautiful clothes, but by the very fact that they were sitting outside, lacking servility and fear. Just imagine, in the middle of all that squalor, a gang of beautifully dressed old women smoking a hookah, discussing life. Not war, not politics, just life: land, farming, children.
They would laugh out loud, a shocking sound to hear outside a home as it's considered inappropriate for a woman to laugh in public. Their age protected them. from judgement, though; they seemed finally free. It seemed to me as if they were saying, 'You see? If only you manage to live long enough, you can age out of the humiliations imposed on you for being a woman.' They remembered a different existence, a life before fleeing, and they weren't going to let anyone box them in. They were irrefutable proof that you could make your own rules. Even if you are a woman." (126)
"There was a wealth of ways we never tapped into that could be used to educate people; why ignore them? God knows we needed all the help we could get. We needed skills far more than we needed degrees." (127)
"It was only his tears that made me realize that I, a twenty-three-year-old woman, was now the leader of one of Afghanistan's biggest, most influential tribes." (158)
"It took me one video to realize that the Taliban didn't need to do much to silence me. All they needed to do was blackmail me like they did to Fatima Rahmati, an activist whose brothers were taken; she was forced to reverse her statements on civil rights in order to save them. The only things I had were my pride and honor. I would lose them if I was forced to make a statement in the Taliban's favor. I thought of all those women who had to give up their freedom because they were worried about their family, who had to choose between freedom and family. That thought broke me." (173)
"When Sangeena announced that she'd go back with me, my mother just threw her arms up int he air; there was nothing left to say. One stupid decision after another rendered her speechless. Her children were idiots. She was done with us. There were not enough goats in the world to keep us alive." (190)
June 20, 2024
"Last to Eat, Last to Learn: My Life in Afghanistan Fighting to Educate Women" by Pashtana Durrani is an extraordinary memoir that illuminates the profound impact of one woman's courage and determination in the face of overwhelming adversity. Durrani's narrative is not just a story of personal struggle and triumph but a powerful testament to the transformative power of education and the unyielding spirit of an actual role model.
A Story of Courage and Resilience
From the beginning, Pashtana Durrani's courage is evident as she navigates the dangerous landscape of Afghanistan, a country where educating women is fraught with danger. The author’s bravery is confronting external threats and challenging deeply ingrained societal norms that restrict women's access to education. Despite numerous threats to her life, Durrani's unwavering commitment to this cause underscores her extraordinary resilience. Her story is a beacon of hope for many, illustrating that courage is not the absence of fear but the determination to act despite it.
Personal Sacrifice and Commitment
Durrani’s memoir is a profound exploration of personal sacrifice. She vividly recounts the numerous obstacles she faced, from threats by extremist groups to the societal backlash within her community. Her commitment to educating Afghan women is not merely an abstract ideal but a lived reality that demands immense personal sacrifices. The author’s willingness to risk her life and endure hardship for the sake of others exemplifies an inspiring and humbling dedication. This depth of commitment transforms her from an advocate into a genuine hero and role model.
Inspirational Role Model
What sets Pashtana Durrani apart is her ability to translate her struggles into a broader movement for change. Her work transcends the pages of her book, reaching out to inspire countless others to join the fight for women's education. Durrani’s narrative is filled with stories of the women she has helped, each a testament to her impact and the ripple effect of her efforts. By showcasing these individual triumphs, Durrani highlights her achievements and empowers others to believe in their potential to effect change. Her life and work are a powerful reminder that authentic leadership is about lifting others and creating opportunities for them to succeed.
Empowering Future Generations
The most compelling aspect of Durrani's memoir is its potential to empower future generations. Through her vivid storytelling, she brings to life the experiences of Afghan women and girls, painting a picture of their struggles and boundless potential. Durrani’s narrative shifts the focus from victimhood to empowerment, portraying these women as resilient and capable individuals who, given the opportunity, can achieve remarkable things. This perspective is crucial in fostering a new generation of women who see education as a right and a powerful tool for personal and societal transformation.
A Call to Action
"Last to Eat, Last to Learn" is more than just a memoir; it is a call to action. Durrani’s courageous journey is matched by her compelling plea for global engagement in the fight for women's education. The book is rich with practical insights and ways for readers to get involved, making it an invaluable resource for anyone passionate about gender equality and education. Durrani’s ability to inspire action through her words is perhaps the most powerful testament to her role as a leader and a role model. She tells her story and galvanizes her readers to join her in making a difference.
"Last to Eat, Last to Learn: My Life in Afghanistan Fighting to Educate Women" by Pashtana Durrani is a powerful and moving memoir that showcases the author's immense courage and dedication. Her willingness to confront daunting challenges, make personal sacrifices, and commit wholeheartedly to the cause of women's education marks her as an actual role model for the future. This book is not just a reflection on Afghan women's past and present struggles; it is a blueprint for how we can all contribute to a more just and equitable future. Pashtana Durrani's story is a beacon of hope, reminding us that we can make a profound difference in the world with courage, empathy, and action.
A Story of Courage and Resilience
From the beginning, Pashtana Durrani's courage is evident as she navigates the dangerous landscape of Afghanistan, a country where educating women is fraught with danger. The author’s bravery is confronting external threats and challenging deeply ingrained societal norms that restrict women's access to education. Despite numerous threats to her life, Durrani's unwavering commitment to this cause underscores her extraordinary resilience. Her story is a beacon of hope for many, illustrating that courage is not the absence of fear but the determination to act despite it.
Personal Sacrifice and Commitment
Durrani’s memoir is a profound exploration of personal sacrifice. She vividly recounts the numerous obstacles she faced, from threats by extremist groups to the societal backlash within her community. Her commitment to educating Afghan women is not merely an abstract ideal but a lived reality that demands immense personal sacrifices. The author’s willingness to risk her life and endure hardship for the sake of others exemplifies an inspiring and humbling dedication. This depth of commitment transforms her from an advocate into a genuine hero and role model.
Inspirational Role Model
What sets Pashtana Durrani apart is her ability to translate her struggles into a broader movement for change. Her work transcends the pages of her book, reaching out to inspire countless others to join the fight for women's education. Durrani’s narrative is filled with stories of the women she has helped, each a testament to her impact and the ripple effect of her efforts. By showcasing these individual triumphs, Durrani highlights her achievements and empowers others to believe in their potential to effect change. Her life and work are a powerful reminder that authentic leadership is about lifting others and creating opportunities for them to succeed.
Empowering Future Generations
The most compelling aspect of Durrani's memoir is its potential to empower future generations. Through her vivid storytelling, she brings to life the experiences of Afghan women and girls, painting a picture of their struggles and boundless potential. Durrani’s narrative shifts the focus from victimhood to empowerment, portraying these women as resilient and capable individuals who, given the opportunity, can achieve remarkable things. This perspective is crucial in fostering a new generation of women who see education as a right and a powerful tool for personal and societal transformation.
A Call to Action
"Last to Eat, Last to Learn" is more than just a memoir; it is a call to action. Durrani’s courageous journey is matched by her compelling plea for global engagement in the fight for women's education. The book is rich with practical insights and ways for readers to get involved, making it an invaluable resource for anyone passionate about gender equality and education. Durrani’s ability to inspire action through her words is perhaps the most powerful testament to her role as a leader and a role model. She tells her story and galvanizes her readers to join her in making a difference.
"Last to Eat, Last to Learn: My Life in Afghanistan Fighting to Educate Women" by Pashtana Durrani is a powerful and moving memoir that showcases the author's immense courage and dedication. Her willingness to confront daunting challenges, make personal sacrifices, and commit wholeheartedly to the cause of women's education marks her as an actual role model for the future. This book is not just a reflection on Afghan women's past and present struggles; it is a blueprint for how we can all contribute to a more just and equitable future. Pashtana Durrani's story is a beacon of hope, reminding us that we can make a profound difference in the world with courage, empathy, and action.
August 31, 2025
I wanted to love this book. Lots of bravery. She has a heroic father similar to Malala. It is a topic very very close to my heart and or vital importance. However, it felt more like a stream of consciousness rant, thrown together too quickly, that wasn't edited. Frustrating. So much potential.
"War in Afghanistan started some forty years ago, and there were millions of Afghans that never saw Afghanistan. I was one of them. I was a third-generation refugee."
"She was the first to show us that a choice between food and education is not a choice at all."
"To my father, leadership meant serving your people, putting them first, and he was grooming me, for as long as I can remember, to do the same."
"Girls were meant to stay home, surrounded by grown-ups, never raising their voice, never expressing an opinion. It was training for marriage, for the rest of their lives. It was a way to teach the girls to accept without questioning, whatever horrible treatment came their way."
“There is no point in thinking about how fair or not that might be. You just have to do your part and hope to one day change it.”
"She wasn’t going to go to school anymore; she got married, her father explained. Her new husband was a widower, in his late thirties, with three small children, and he needed someone to raise those children. Pashtana’s father explained he had no choice but to marry her off because he couldn’t feed her anymore. She would be better off this way, he said. Pashtana was nine years old."
"...Mandela. He refused to pack light and leave his tribal values by the side of the road. He didn’t think it was necessary to undo old structures before building new ones. For him, a tribe was a building block."
"...it all starts with education. Lack of education wasn’t a byproduct of poverty; it was a weapon. Denying it was deliberate and served a political purpose. It was meant to keep the girls silent, compliant, and disconnected from the world. It denied them a voice."
"What constitutes education for people who know nothing of the world other than guns and dying?"
"...having to listen to an opiniated, clueless sixteen-year-old’s plans to save the world surely qualified my parents for sainthood."
"...everyone should have parents like mine: the one parent that trusts you blindly, and the one that challenges every word that comes out of your mouth. The first one gives you ideals and courage, but it’s the second one that teaches you to sharpen your arguments."
"Being a woman, however, both crying and keeping your composure seemed somehow to be wrong choices. If you cry, you’re immediately dismissed as weak. If you don’t, you’re considered heartless."
"It would take me years to understand that crying had nothing to do with strength. Crying is necessary. Crying is what makes you different from the dead."
"You don’t make history simpler by ignoring parts of the population who don’t fit into the narrative."
"Too often we judge people for making us defend our point of view. Yet the only questions that have the power to offend us are the ones we don’t have the answer to."
"Each color on the flag was a symbol: the black stood for the troubles behind us, the red was for the blood spilled to obtain our freedom, and the green was the symbol of the better future."
"War in Afghanistan started some forty years ago, and there were millions of Afghans that never saw Afghanistan. I was one of them. I was a third-generation refugee."
"She was the first to show us that a choice between food and education is not a choice at all."
"To my father, leadership meant serving your people, putting them first, and he was grooming me, for as long as I can remember, to do the same."
"Girls were meant to stay home, surrounded by grown-ups, never raising their voice, never expressing an opinion. It was training for marriage, for the rest of their lives. It was a way to teach the girls to accept without questioning, whatever horrible treatment came their way."
“There is no point in thinking about how fair or not that might be. You just have to do your part and hope to one day change it.”
"She wasn’t going to go to school anymore; she got married, her father explained. Her new husband was a widower, in his late thirties, with three small children, and he needed someone to raise those children. Pashtana’s father explained he had no choice but to marry her off because he couldn’t feed her anymore. She would be better off this way, he said. Pashtana was nine years old."
"...Mandela. He refused to pack light and leave his tribal values by the side of the road. He didn’t think it was necessary to undo old structures before building new ones. For him, a tribe was a building block."
"...it all starts with education. Lack of education wasn’t a byproduct of poverty; it was a weapon. Denying it was deliberate and served a political purpose. It was meant to keep the girls silent, compliant, and disconnected from the world. It denied them a voice."
"What constitutes education for people who know nothing of the world other than guns and dying?"
"...having to listen to an opiniated, clueless sixteen-year-old’s plans to save the world surely qualified my parents for sainthood."
"...everyone should have parents like mine: the one parent that trusts you blindly, and the one that challenges every word that comes out of your mouth. The first one gives you ideals and courage, but it’s the second one that teaches you to sharpen your arguments."
"Being a woman, however, both crying and keeping your composure seemed somehow to be wrong choices. If you cry, you’re immediately dismissed as weak. If you don’t, you’re considered heartless."
"It would take me years to understand that crying had nothing to do with strength. Crying is necessary. Crying is what makes you different from the dead."
"You don’t make history simpler by ignoring parts of the population who don’t fit into the narrative."
"Too often we judge people for making us defend our point of view. Yet the only questions that have the power to offend us are the ones we don’t have the answer to."
"Each color on the flag was a symbol: the black stood for the troubles behind us, the red was for the blood spilled to obtain our freedom, and the green was the symbol of the better future."
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