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Is This Love or Dopamine?
Falling in love is a beautiful thing. The internet has, naturally, taken this beauty and turned it into something deeply, deeply strange. Featuring screenshots from real-life dating conversations, Is This Love or Dopamine? is a hilarious, piercing analysis of the weird-and-not-so-wonderful world of internet dating.
@beam_me_up_softboi creator and journalist Iona David explores the highs, horrors and heartbreaks: from the all-important first DM slide to the inevitable eventual ghosting; from f*cj boys and Tinder anthems to loaded emojis and revenge selfies. Learn what to do if someone uses ‘teehee’ in a sext (run for the hills) or has a photo of themselves holding a massive fish on their profile (run faster).
A dedication to all the hours spent lying in bed/sitting on the toilet swiping until thumb cramp sets in, this book will make you laugh, then cry, then delete your dating app profile, then (obviously) re-download it again. Long live the internet!
@beam_me_up_softboi creator and journalist Iona David explores the highs, horrors and heartbreaks: from the all-important first DM slide to the inevitable eventual ghosting; from f*cj boys and Tinder anthems to loaded emojis and revenge selfies. Learn what to do if someone uses ‘teehee’ in a sext (run for the hills) or has a photo of themselves holding a massive fish on their profile (run faster).
A dedication to all the hours spent lying in bed/sitting on the toilet swiping until thumb cramp sets in, this book will make you laugh, then cry, then delete your dating app profile, then (obviously) re-download it again. Long live the internet!
213 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2022
10 people are currently reading
375 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
July 25, 2022
A good laugh, but who gave men the audacity to send messages like this omg
January 12, 2023
Very funny, insightful glimpse into a certain kind of mainstream alternative gen z/millenial dating culture. presents itself as this faux examination on dating, and once you lean into the joke it is quite good. at some points i thought "too many specifics cultural references" but then she used the line "come on in! the water's warm and we're watching Blue Velvet on Blu-ray" which made me laugh a lot. maybe slightly too long, with anaylsis that isnt actually very anayltical? good, cheap fun
3.5 if goodreads wasnt phillistine
3.5 if goodreads wasnt phillistine
July 22, 2022
It's like a really well written essay or a massive blog post with good formating. I've rarely laughed out loud at books but it really did make me chuckle. Should be required reading for anyone even thinking about installing Tinder.
February 2, 2023
I had high expectations as I follow her Instagram page which is hilarious. Very unrelatable, I found it quite a difficult book to read. Although there were parts which made me laugh
August 29, 2022
Did not finish, only had an hour left on my audio book but couldn’t be bothered anymore. It was ok, pretty funny but nothing ground breaking and told from the perspective of someone very young (not to sound invalidating, I just couldn’t relate to everything she was saying)
Maybe people from Gen Z culture she frequently references will find this more relatable.
Dolly Aldertons “everything I know about love” is a much better read than this, with similar themes.
Maybe people from Gen Z culture she frequently references will find this more relatable.
Dolly Aldertons “everything I know about love” is a much better read than this, with similar themes.
September 3, 2023
AN AVERAGE MILDY ENTERTAINING READ.
When will I stop falling for books that are clearly just a cash grab? obviously never.
I fkn love Beam me Up Softboi as an Instgram account. I expected that translation to book format to be better but it just didnt hit the mark.
Iona spends most of the book bringing up topics I so want to dive into and then she goes "too hard for another time wont get into that". Like she mentions she made a venn diagram but didn't include it. I got irrationally mad that this was missing, why bring it up???
I also cant handle books with useless footnotes that try to be funny about the authors inner monologue but its just not funny, in fact its cringe. I cant handle the 'fake' academic voice and the constant mentioning of (see chapter x) over and over again. I don't want to jump around, I want to sail smoothly through the book. I really wanted more about match group who owns all the dating websites and how dating apps are made to keep you on there which she mentioned it was too hard to go into, ugh.
It took an interesting topic and watered it down so much. I get more out of the screenshots on the Instagram than I did from the book.
okay so THE POSITIVES:
- Actually going through the ways people text and the so called dos and don'ts I enjoyed. It's validating. Dating is the wild west and Iona shows us that when words online are all you've got, they do in fact REALLY MATTER.
- Boy is it comforting to not feel alone in all the truly unhinged messages I have gotten while online dating.
- Ionas analysis of emojis IS funny. And taking a look at how our communication styles have evolved online and how they will continue to in the future. example she talks about instead of lol gen z just types random letters like asdfgrhjgkefd. " I cant wait to see how the pioneers of the internet laughter produce next and complicate our dating lives even more"
- "I know that being horny can sometimes feel worse than nicotine deprivation" true babe
Overall not worth reading just go laugh at the Instagram
When will I stop falling for books that are clearly just a cash grab? obviously never.
I fkn love Beam me Up Softboi as an Instgram account. I expected that translation to book format to be better but it just didnt hit the mark.
Iona spends most of the book bringing up topics I so want to dive into and then she goes "too hard for another time wont get into that". Like she mentions she made a venn diagram but didn't include it. I got irrationally mad that this was missing, why bring it up???
I also cant handle books with useless footnotes that try to be funny about the authors inner monologue but its just not funny, in fact its cringe. I cant handle the 'fake' academic voice and the constant mentioning of (see chapter x) over and over again. I don't want to jump around, I want to sail smoothly through the book. I really wanted more about match group who owns all the dating websites and how dating apps are made to keep you on there which she mentioned it was too hard to go into, ugh.
It took an interesting topic and watered it down so much. I get more out of the screenshots on the Instagram than I did from the book.
okay so THE POSITIVES:
- Actually going through the ways people text and the so called dos and don'ts I enjoyed. It's validating. Dating is the wild west and Iona shows us that when words online are all you've got, they do in fact REALLY MATTER.
- Boy is it comforting to not feel alone in all the truly unhinged messages I have gotten while online dating.
- Ionas analysis of emojis IS funny. And taking a look at how our communication styles have evolved online and how they will continue to in the future. example she talks about instead of lol gen z just types random letters like asdfgrhjgkefd. " I cant wait to see how the pioneers of the internet laughter produce next and complicate our dating lives even more"
- "I know that being horny can sometimes feel worse than nicotine deprivation" true babe
Overall not worth reading just go laugh at the Instagram
March 29, 2023
Tongue-in-cheek analysis about the modern dating scene from a feminist angle. Nothing groundbreaking, and definitely not everyone's cup of tea, but I mostly enjoyed it. And this is coming from someone who browsed r/seduction while it was still active, which the author (rather justifiably) ridicules.
Some of the chapters fall a bit flat though; most notably Chapter 7, which had way more potential to be entertaining and witty, but instead just unveiled to be a boring rant about sexual harassment. Not that the author is wrong, but they could've also covered the positive and lighthearted side of things instead of just analyzing the wrong and unsuccessful ways to ask for nudes.
To be honest, I don't think you'll get much out of this unless you're a chronic online dater. But if you happen to be a fan of Iona's other content (i.e. @beam_me_up_softboi), then give it a go. It's a quick read.
Some of the chapters fall a bit flat though; most notably Chapter 7, which had way more potential to be entertaining and witty, but instead just unveiled to be a boring rant about sexual harassment. Not that the author is wrong, but they could've also covered the positive and lighthearted side of things instead of just analyzing the wrong and unsuccessful ways to ask for nudes.
To be honest, I don't think you'll get much out of this unless you're a chronic online dater. But if you happen to be a fan of Iona's other content (i.e. @beam_me_up_softboi), then give it a go. It's a quick read.
February 20, 2023
Some really hilarious bits, the screenshots never get old, and some really great metaphors. Doesn't quite nail the faux-academic voice though (which is difficult to do).
It's mostly waffle and shies away from making significant observations on patterns among the softbois behaviour, e.g. when presented with misogyny, she repeatedly says "I'm not going to explore that in any depth because it's too stressful", which I get, but given the platform she has I think it was maybe an opportunity missed. But, authors choice.
It's mostly waffle and shies away from making significant observations on patterns among the softbois behaviour, e.g. when presented with misogyny, she repeatedly says "I'm not going to explore that in any depth because it's too stressful", which I get, but given the platform she has I think it was maybe an opportunity missed. But, authors choice.
September 9, 2022
This might be the first time a book has actually made me laugh out loud - the author completely captured the subtleties of online dating in this generation right down to the emojis. Really fun read and i’d highly recommend to anyone looking for a laugh - I think it would also make a lovely gift for any Gen Z friend/anyone on dating apps.
August 16, 2022
Plenty of laugh out loud moments!
April 8, 2023
A silly, bewildered, and gimlet-eyed look at a particularly stupid time to be dating on the internet. (Now, that time is now)
February 1, 2024
very funny, deeply unserious
March 1, 2026
I’m a big fan of @beam_me_up_softboi and this was brilliant. Thank you Iona!
July 20, 2022
Was this a very insightful book full of information? No
Was it revolutionary in any of the ideas presented? No
Was it a nice quick read that made me chuckle a few times? Definitely.
Not everyone's cup of tea, with a highly specific target audience. I did enjoy it.
Was it revolutionary in any of the ideas presented? No
Was it a nice quick read that made me chuckle a few times? Definitely.
Not everyone's cup of tea, with a highly specific target audience. I did enjoy it.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews