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Without Warning and Only Sometimes: Scenes from an Unpredictable Childhood
'Vivid and compelling and so moving... Kit's depiction of her parents' dynamic is both painful and comforting to read' Marian Keyes
*Soon to be broadcast on BBC Radio 4*
From the award-winning author of MY NAME IS LEON comes a childhood memoir set to become a classic: stinging, warm-hearted, and true.
Kit de Waal grew up in a household of opposites and extremes. Her haphazard mother rarely cooked, forbade Christmas and birthdays, worked as a cleaner, nurse and childminder sometimes all at once and believed the world would end in 1975. Meanwhile, her father stuffed barrels full of goodies for his relatives in the Caribbean, cooked elaborate meals on a whim and splurged money they didn't have on cars, suits and shoes fit for a prince. Both of her parents were waiting for paradise. It never came.
Caught between three worlds, Irish, Caribbean and British in 1960s Birmingham, Kit and her brothers and sisters knew all the words to the best songs, caught sticklebacks in jam jars and braved hunger and hellfire until they could all escape.
WITHOUT WARNING AND ONLY SOMETIMES is a story of an extraordinary childhood and how a girl who grew up in house where the Bible was the only book on offer went on to discover a love of reading that inspires her to this day.
*Soon to be broadcast on BBC Radio 4*
From the award-winning author of MY NAME IS LEON comes a childhood memoir set to become a classic: stinging, warm-hearted, and true.
Kit de Waal grew up in a household of opposites and extremes. Her haphazard mother rarely cooked, forbade Christmas and birthdays, worked as a cleaner, nurse and childminder sometimes all at once and believed the world would end in 1975. Meanwhile, her father stuffed barrels full of goodies for his relatives in the Caribbean, cooked elaborate meals on a whim and splurged money they didn't have on cars, suits and shoes fit for a prince. Both of her parents were waiting for paradise. It never came.
Caught between three worlds, Irish, Caribbean and British in 1960s Birmingham, Kit and her brothers and sisters knew all the words to the best songs, caught sticklebacks in jam jars and braved hunger and hellfire until they could all escape.
WITHOUT WARNING AND ONLY SOMETIMES is a story of an extraordinary childhood and how a girl who grew up in house where the Bible was the only book on offer went on to discover a love of reading that inspires her to this day.
290 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2022
61 people are currently reading
1512 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 104 reviews
February 22, 2023
As a Brummie of a certain age, I am undoubtedly biased in my evaluation of this lovely memoir, redolent of a particular time and subculture (1970s Birmingham), but this book's only fault is that it finishes too soon.
February 16, 2025
This is an astoundingly good memoir of an extraordinary childhood. Kit de Waal was born in 1960 in Birmingham to an Irish mother and a father from St Kitts in the Caribbean. Her parents’ marriage was not close, and money and food were in such short supply that all their five children were frequently hungry. Life got even worse for them when their mother became a Jehovah’s Witness; then Christmas, birthdays, singing hymns and having ungodly fun were all forbidden.
Despite the privations, this memoir is written with love and a lot of humour. It is remarkable. Very highly recommended!
Despite the privations, this memoir is written with love and a lot of humour. It is remarkable. Very highly recommended!
November 19, 2022
This was bloody brilliant. At turns, both funny and painful to read. Even the darker parts are told with a wry tone that is so enjoyable. I would definitely recommend the audiobook in particular, which is narrated by the author, as I feel like this enhanced the experience.
January 12, 2025
The most beautiful memoir I have ever read. Written with so much honesty and not a hint of self pity. It took me back to so many memories of my childhood. Laugh out loud in so many parts with tears.
“Miles of red hair”
The description of the teachers are the best.
I didn’t want it to end.
“Miles of red hair”
The description of the teachers are the best.
I didn’t want it to end.
November 21, 2022
Does anyone have any right to review someone's autobiography? Well anyway, this one is great. My only wish is that it were longer or had an epilogue, but maybe I'm just a worrier/nosy cow. Need to know how things worked out!
July 20, 2025
I read this in two sittings. I really enjoyed this and found myself really rooting for Kit!
December 3, 2023
Kit de Waal is a working class writer born in England to an Irish mother and a father from St. Kitts. She is biracial and has both British and Irish citizenship. She champions working class writers, and established a grant that supports working class students studying creative writing.
In this book, she tells the story of her upbringing. Her mother always worked one or more jobs - in nursing, childcare, house cleaning, and whatever she could find to keep a roof over her family's heads. Her husband worked as a bus driver. Much of the time her children had little to eat, and there was limited money for clothes and shoes. With two incomes, this is hard to understand until the reader learns that Mr. O'Loughlin spent little of his earnings on his family. Instead, he spent it on himself, ordering pricey clothes and at one point a new car.
de Waal describes the prejudice and racism that she and her siblings faced - in school, in the street and out and about in the city of Birmingham. She grew up in a time when there was a lot of prejudice against Irish people. This was the time of IRA bombings in England, and Birmingham saw some of this violence. It meant that the police were very suspicious of Irish people, and employers discriminated against them.
This is an important book for readers who are interested in the lives of Black and biracial people in England, and working class lives.
In this book, she tells the story of her upbringing. Her mother always worked one or more jobs - in nursing, childcare, house cleaning, and whatever she could find to keep a roof over her family's heads. Her husband worked as a bus driver. Much of the time her children had little to eat, and there was limited money for clothes and shoes. With two incomes, this is hard to understand until the reader learns that Mr. O'Loughlin spent little of his earnings on his family. Instead, he spent it on himself, ordering pricey clothes and at one point a new car.
de Waal describes the prejudice and racism that she and her siblings faced - in school, in the street and out and about in the city of Birmingham. She grew up in a time when there was a lot of prejudice against Irish people. This was the time of IRA bombings in England, and Birmingham saw some of this violence. It meant that the police were very suspicious of Irish people, and employers discriminated against them.
This is an important book for readers who are interested in the lives of Black and biracial people in England, and working class lives.
November 25, 2024
Thoroughly enjoyed this recounting of a difficult, deprived childhood in London, the story of a mixed-race girl (her mother from Ireland and her father from St Kitts) and her siblings, battling the whims and vagaries of their poles-apart parents: their mother a hard-working, religious fanatic, their father a self-centred, feckless immigrant hankering after his life in St Kitts. The story is hard to bear at times, not that there is any outright physical or sexual abuse, but just the constant, drip-drip, deprivation-by-a-thousand-cuts type of abuse, kids left hungry at night, without winter coats, while their father buys a new car or sends gifts home to his relations. You are on the side of the children throughout, hoping they will survive, persevere and prevail. The charm is in the telling: it is picaresque, a collection of scenes, stories and vignettes: but it works.
October 26, 2022
Beautiful book about growing up as a mixed-race girl in Moseley, Birmingham (UK) in the late 60s/70s/80s. Every moment is perfectly realised and suffused with love and warmth, but de Waal does not skimp on the privations (often hungry) and restrictions imposed by the religion - Jehovah's Witness - of her Irish mother. The growing up section was moving and detailed (amazing recall) but equally matched by the last section which sees de Waal as a young adult stoner in Moseley village, encountering the eccentric and sometimes worrying bohemian population. There is a palpable joy in the writing. Puts Birmingham on the literary map. A triumph.
November 8, 2023
I enjoyed this memoir but don’t think I can give it a higher score because it felt repetitive and, at times, shallow. Not shallow as in the author is a shallow person, but shallow as in I wish certain stories and emotions were explored more.
The vast majority of the memoir is about the author’s childhood and their relationship with their parents, and although the stories changed they were all very similar. Other moments, like the author’s later life, were examined superficially, brushed off mentions of death in exchange for a neater ending.
A good book but I just can’t help but feeling like it could have been more impactful and strong.
The vast majority of the memoir is about the author’s childhood and their relationship with their parents, and although the stories changed they were all very similar. Other moments, like the author’s later life, were examined superficially, brushed off mentions of death in exchange for a neater ending.
A good book but I just can’t help but feeling like it could have been more impactful and strong.
January 29, 2023
This is a beautifully-written and evocative memoir of a marginalised family but I didn't love it - I've read more compelling memoirs. I seem to be in the minority though, as it has received very good reviews. Just one of those books that didn't click with me.
October 14, 2023
What a read - told with such honesty and without bitterness. It could have been quite easy to sugarcoat her upbringing and her parents’ relationship and, in particular, her father and how selfish he was (buying new suits etc whilst the kids go hungry).
December 12, 2022
Relatable memoir given the mixed heritage, sad and impoverished childhood events told in a story of humour and irony. Nicely written, without any gaps and kept me wanting to find out more!
August 3, 2023
Decent book definitely grew into it. I enjoyed gaining a personal experience of what growing up in a mixed home of Caribbean and irish heritage, in Birmingham, in the 70/80s
December 6, 2023
Couldn’t quite work out how I felt about this book.
April 15, 2024
A nice coming of age story.
Painful situations and rough times are described with a nice dose of humor but actually the story is very sad.
Nice read, the humor makes the book.
Painful situations and rough times are described with a nice dose of humor but actually the story is very sad.
Nice read, the humor makes the book.
March 17, 2025
very readable and enjoyable book - I sailed thr9ugh it laughing and cryng both. What a family!
I had already listened to the Radio 4 reading of this book a couple of years ago, but this was much richer to read - and i dont think i heard the end either, so that was quite a shock and a revelation.
Much of what I enjoyed was the very familiar tales of life in the 1960s - cold unheated houses, one prominent TV that Dad has control over and a real sense that you could not answer back even if something really unjustified had been done. I never experienced hunger like her family did and my mother was not always at (paid) work, but i do remember being posted to/ parked with elderly neighbours when she was out . And i remember so well things like listening to car/binmen noikses at the end of the street, or the reflection of the car opposite on the ceiling of my bedroom at night; and i really empathised with the staircase that had one stair that was a wide corner stair that you had to use both feet for.
The culture differences in the family were fascinating - being non religious myself I found the Dad's style much more enjoyable to read about than the fierce religiositiy of the mother. You could so see that differences and incompatibilities of their marriage - 5 children later ...
I was very concerned about her when she clearly lost her way as a teenager and was worried at the end that all was not well - although she is now an acclaimed author, married to a barrister and presumably has found her place in life very successfully.
I had already listened to the Radio 4 reading of this book a couple of years ago, but this was much richer to read - and i dont think i heard the end either, so that was quite a shock and a revelation.
Much of what I enjoyed was the very familiar tales of life in the 1960s - cold unheated houses, one prominent TV that Dad has control over and a real sense that you could not answer back even if something really unjustified had been done. I never experienced hunger like her family did and my mother was not always at (paid) work, but i do remember being posted to/ parked with elderly neighbours when she was out . And i remember so well things like listening to car/binmen noikses at the end of the street, or the reflection of the car opposite on the ceiling of my bedroom at night; and i really empathised with the staircase that had one stair that was a wide corner stair that you had to use both feet for.
The culture differences in the family were fascinating - being non religious myself I found the Dad's style much more enjoyable to read about than the fierce religiositiy of the mother. You could so see that differences and incompatibilities of their marriage - 5 children later ...
I was very concerned about her when she clearly lost her way as a teenager and was worried at the end that all was not well - although she is now an acclaimed author, married to a barrister and presumably has found her place in life very successfully.
August 16, 2023
I don’t usually read memoirs or biographies so I wasn’t sure if I’d like this one, but it drew me in from the first page. It’s more scenes and stories collected in a rough chronological order than a linear biography but this only emphasises the chaotic upbringing Kit de Waal had. There’s a real sense of time and place, captured with a wry humour and a deft touch. It’s honest, without being self-pitying, and definitely a worthwhile read. Kit de Waal is certainly one our our best authors.
October 13, 2024
I’m not a big fan of memoirs but I like Kit de Waals books so I gave this try and I loved it. It made me laugh out loud but the final parts of the book made me sad for Kit. I’m glad she writes her books, they make me happy.
June 5, 2025
Absolutely brilliant.
Wonderful memoir, heartbreaking and uplifting in equal measure.
Kit's upbringing and subsequent adulthood is full of moments that stay in the mind. It's amazing that she became the person she is.
it's evident that the writer was always there in her.
Fantastic. 5 stars.
Wonderful memoir, heartbreaking and uplifting in equal measure.
Kit's upbringing and subsequent adulthood is full of moments that stay in the mind. It's amazing that she became the person she is.
it's evident that the writer was always there in her.
Fantastic. 5 stars.
August 28, 2024
A moving, thought-provoking memoir that will stay with me for a long time to come.
May 24, 2025
Amazing writer- wish it hadn’t ended. Left me wanting more. Definitely continuing to read more of Kit De Waal’s writing. Love it!
June 9, 2023
This book carried me through the week. I loved every chapter. The ending gave me hope.
January 20, 2023
Kit de Waal was born in Birmingham in 1960 to an Irish mother & a Caribbean father. Throw in her mother’s (and, therefore, the children’s) conversion to the Jehovah’s Witnesses & it’s quite a mix.
Not fully accepted by either side of the family, by dint of being half, the children are aware of being treated differently to their cousins. Neither parent is accepted by the other’s community & their marriage is an imbalance between a mother who wants to be loved & a father who cannot fully commit. In all likelihood, the marriage probably wouldn’t have taken place had pregnancy not forced the issue.
If all this makes for a bleak picture, it is not a bleak book. The children have love, security, each other & a sense of humour that rarely fails them.
Another review, referred to Kit De Waal as a “born storyteller” & I go along with that, she could make the most mundane topic interesting.
There were several laugh out loud moments for me; one memorable one being during a conversation with a housemate about one of his previous lives, after she has remarked on the coincidence of people often seeming to have been a key figure in previous incarnations,
‘Oh, right. Who were you then? John the Baptist?’
‘Joseph of Arimathea’, he says, like he’s giving his name to the dole office. ‘Yeah, yeah. Had to step in & help with the burial of Christ. It was a day like today, actually. Chilly.’
Would highly recommend this book. I’m sure it will resonate with anyone growing up in the 1960s/70s
Not fully accepted by either side of the family, by dint of being half, the children are aware of being treated differently to their cousins. Neither parent is accepted by the other’s community & their marriage is an imbalance between a mother who wants to be loved & a father who cannot fully commit. In all likelihood, the marriage probably wouldn’t have taken place had pregnancy not forced the issue.
If all this makes for a bleak picture, it is not a bleak book. The children have love, security, each other & a sense of humour that rarely fails them.
Another review, referred to Kit De Waal as a “born storyteller” & I go along with that, she could make the most mundane topic interesting.
There were several laugh out loud moments for me; one memorable one being during a conversation with a housemate about one of his previous lives, after she has remarked on the coincidence of people often seeming to have been a key figure in previous incarnations,
‘Oh, right. Who were you then? John the Baptist?’
‘Joseph of Arimathea’, he says, like he’s giving his name to the dole office. ‘Yeah, yeah. Had to step in & help with the burial of Christ. It was a day like today, actually. Chilly.’
Would highly recommend this book. I’m sure it will resonate with anyone growing up in the 1960s/70s
August 31, 2022
One of my recent Summer Reads, Kit de Waal's memoir, is a fascinating, intelligent, charming and affecting read.
Without Warning & Only Sometimes: Scenes from an Unpredictable Childhood takes the reader on a journey back to the 60s and 70s in Birmingham. Born to a Caribbean father and an Irish mother, life was very tough growing up in a home where 'both her parents were waiting for paradise. It never came'
Exploring the extraordinary years of her youth with a mother insisting she and her siblings attend regular Jehovah Witness assemblies and a flamboyant father with dreams of returning to his native St Kitts, Kit (Mandy Theresa O' Loughlin) made plans to escape from a young age.
Her experiences through these years are wonderfully captured with a poignancy and a sense of achievement.
Just published with Tinder Press, Without Warning & Only Sometimes is an engaging and beautiful journey that gives an insight into the remarkable path taken by a curious little girl to become a reader and the writer we all are familiar with today.
"I turn the page and keep reading. I'm going to live" - Mandy Theresa O' Loughlin/Kit de Waal
Without Warning & Only Sometimes: Scenes from an Unpredictable Childhood takes the reader on a journey back to the 60s and 70s in Birmingham. Born to a Caribbean father and an Irish mother, life was very tough growing up in a home where 'both her parents were waiting for paradise. It never came'
Exploring the extraordinary years of her youth with a mother insisting she and her siblings attend regular Jehovah Witness assemblies and a flamboyant father with dreams of returning to his native St Kitts, Kit (Mandy Theresa O' Loughlin) made plans to escape from a young age.
Her experiences through these years are wonderfully captured with a poignancy and a sense of achievement.
Just published with Tinder Press, Without Warning & Only Sometimes is an engaging and beautiful journey that gives an insight into the remarkable path taken by a curious little girl to become a reader and the writer we all are familiar with today.
"I turn the page and keep reading. I'm going to live" - Mandy Theresa O' Loughlin/Kit de Waal
August 29, 2024
Sad but beautiful. I'm not normally a huge memoir fan but this was great and I read it in a few days.
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January 13, 2025Memoirs are notoriously hard to rate, and this one's harder than most.
+ : I enjoyed the first half of this book. I didn't know much going into it, and I had not previously read anything by this author. This memoir blends many of my favorite themes in this genre - weird religion, dysfunctional family, ethnicity, race, coming of age. I also found the writing style pleasant to read, and I was interested enough (in the first half, at least) to want to know more.
- : This memoir does proclaim in the title that it's only scenes. I did see it as a group of essays arranged in a loose chronological order. Unfortunately, this structure and the gaps that inevitably come from it (as opposed to a complete narrative) really did not work for me. I had wait too many unanswered questions.
But wait - when and how did you leave the Jehovah's Witnesses? Or did you? But wait - when and where did you finally feel like you fit in, or have you never felt that you fit anywhere? But wait - where's the rest of the story? No epilogue?! But wait - how do you *really* feel about your parents?
I think this last question bothered me the most. I got the sense that the author really did not like her parents, but I could not put my finger on exactly why. Was it the unpredictability? The hunger (but only sometimes)? The lack of care (but only sometimes)? The father's meanness (though mostly this seemed to be toward the mother) and complete self-centeredness (buying himself and the family "back home" so many new and wonderful things that he never bought for his own children)?
The lack of clarity about the parents really did not sit well with me. Were they bad parents? If so, why exactly? Were they just distracted parents? If so, does the author have reflections on this now that she's a parent? Were the parents forgiven? Does she still have contact? Why or why not?
Way too many unanswered questions regarding family, race, and religion that really could've been explored to bring the narrative arc around to completion. Even the last section of the book which details drug use and depression did not receive any closure or description of how the author made her way through this phase, changed things about her life, moved on, etc.
+ : I enjoyed the first half of this book. I didn't know much going into it, and I had not previously read anything by this author. This memoir blends many of my favorite themes in this genre - weird religion, dysfunctional family, ethnicity, race, coming of age. I also found the writing style pleasant to read, and I was interested enough (in the first half, at least) to want to know more.
- : This memoir does proclaim in the title that it's only scenes. I did see it as a group of essays arranged in a loose chronological order. Unfortunately, this structure and the gaps that inevitably come from it (as opposed to a complete narrative) really did not work for me. I had wait too many unanswered questions.
But wait - when and how did you leave the Jehovah's Witnesses? Or did you? But wait - when and where did you finally feel like you fit in, or have you never felt that you fit anywhere? But wait - where's the rest of the story? No epilogue?! But wait - how do you *really* feel about your parents?
I think this last question bothered me the most. I got the sense that the author really did not like her parents, but I could not put my finger on exactly why. Was it the unpredictability? The hunger (but only sometimes)? The lack of care (but only sometimes)? The father's meanness (though mostly this seemed to be toward the mother) and complete self-centeredness (buying himself and the family "back home" so many new and wonderful things that he never bought for his own children)?
The lack of clarity about the parents really did not sit well with me. Were they bad parents? If so, why exactly? Were they just distracted parents? If so, does the author have reflections on this now that she's a parent? Were the parents forgiven? Does she still have contact? Why or why not?
Way too many unanswered questions regarding family, race, and religion that really could've been explored to bring the narrative arc around to completion. Even the last section of the book which details drug use and depression did not receive any closure or description of how the author made her way through this phase, changed things about her life, moved on, etc.
July 25, 2023
I loved this book for many reasons. The writing style was very easy and clear to read. I savoured about a chapter a night in an attempt to eek out the enjoyment I was having! The themes of the book seemed to be around feelings of exclusion due to race and also about the disturbing and damaging effects of extreme religion. The latter was close to my heart and so this book was a comfort to me, not only because someone else was sharing that but also because the author had been able to acknowledge and rise above what she knew felt wrong. There was a third and unexpected development in the book to do with "going off the rails" but once again there was that underlying hope. The author was able to describe this phase in her life with such clarity and we somehow knew that she would conquer.
The only thing which left me questioning was what I didn't share about that overly religious and disorganised, somewhat unstable childhood. This is that Kit de Waal seems able to forgive. She does, throughout the story, tell us both the good and the bad about both of her parents...but the bad parts seemed to me so damaging that this surprises me. She even dedicates the book to those parents who were there, I suppose, there to help her in her time of need. Maybe it just makes me feel guilty for not having the ability to feel that forgiveness as wholeheartedly as she seems to.
This book puts me in mind of a similar themed autobiography by Tara Westover called "Educated"- another book about the damaging effects of extreme religion and also filled with hope, but more dark and probably without the forgiveness that Kit d Waaal's autobiography exudes.
The only thing which left me questioning was what I didn't share about that overly religious and disorganised, somewhat unstable childhood. This is that Kit de Waal seems able to forgive. She does, throughout the story, tell us both the good and the bad about both of her parents...but the bad parts seemed to me so damaging that this surprises me. She even dedicates the book to those parents who were there, I suppose, there to help her in her time of need. Maybe it just makes me feel guilty for not having the ability to feel that forgiveness as wholeheartedly as she seems to.
This book puts me in mind of a similar themed autobiography by Tara Westover called "Educated"- another book about the damaging effects of extreme religion and also filled with hope, but more dark and probably without the forgiveness that Kit d Waaal's autobiography exudes.
March 11, 2023
Wavering between 2 and 3 stars for this memior. The author was born into poverty in Britian in 1960 to an Irish mother and Jamican father. It was a large family of 5 kids and she recalls grim poverty with not having enough food to eat, clothes to wear or heating to keep warm. Her mother converts to Jehovah's Witnesses when they come knocking at her door promising a tired, poor mother a renewed paradise on earth. Also that according to their caculations that wasn't far away with the world ending in 1975. This means that with the complexities of poverty, class and race Kit also dosen't celebrate Xmas or birthdays, amongst other things, like other children do.
I enjoyed the author's writing style and how she recalled her childhood memories, but I did want more detail particularly around the theme of religion, and how being part of a doomsday cult shaped her as a teenager and young adult, particularly when 1975 came and went without the world ending! I wanted to understand more how that impacted her mother and her family. Particularly, when I've heard that there were families at the time who sold everything, didn't pursue higher education, etc. because they didn't see the point when the world was ending. And we are 48 years later........
I enjoyed the author's writing style and how she recalled her childhood memories, but I did want more detail particularly around the theme of religion, and how being part of a doomsday cult shaped her as a teenager and young adult, particularly when 1975 came and went without the world ending! I wanted to understand more how that impacted her mother and her family. Particularly, when I've heard that there were families at the time who sold everything, didn't pursue higher education, etc. because they didn't see the point when the world was ending. And we are 48 years later........
November 6, 2022
What as wonderful memoir told with honesty and no self pity. It drew me in from page 1 and I couldn't leave it down. The author engages all the senses in her work and paints of picture with words of what life was really like. Her descriptions of people and places is way beyond the average writer. She just takes life as it comes and gets on with it. The devastation wreaked on mixed race families from both parents was unbelievable. There was no Christian charity anywhere unless one takes into account the Jehovah's Witnesses; the religious organization the mother and children joined towards the beginning of the book. Her description in the first chapter about how the world was going to end with earthquakes etc and only the faithful would be saved reminded me of my own Roman Catholic upbringing. As a child all this nonsense terrified me as it was drummed into us by the nuns and the priests. It was with hindsight child abuse. I loved the mother in this book as she was very inventive when it came to earning a living and keeping her family together. Despite all the prejudice and the poverty, the family remained together and weathered the storms. A thoroughly good read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 104 reviews