I Am Not Jessica Chen

by Ann Liang

After getting rejected by every single Ivy League she applied to and falling short of all her Asian immigrant parents’ expectations, seventeen-year-old Jenna Chen makes a wish to become her smarter, infinitely more successful Harvard-bound cousin, Jessica Chen—only for her wish to come true. Literally.

Now trapped inside Jessica’s body, with access to Jessica’s most private journals and secrets, Jenna soon discovers that being the top student at the elite, highly competitive Havenwood Private Academy isn’t quite what she imagined. Worse, as everyone—including her own parents—start having trouble remembering who Jenna Chen is, or if she ever even existed, Jenna must decide if playing the role of the perfect daughter and student is worth losing her true self forever.

Genres: Romance, Young Adult, Contemporary, Fantasy, Fiction, Magical Realism, Audiobook

320 pages, Hardcover

First published January 28, 2025

About the author

Ann Liang is the New York Times and Indie bestselling author of the critically acclaimed YA novels This Time It’s Real, If You Could See the Sun, and I Hope This Doesn't Find You. Her books have sold into over twenty foreign territories. Born in Beijing, she grew up traveling back and forth between China and Australia, but somehow ended up with an American accent. She now lives in Melbourne, where she can be found making overambitious to do lists and having profound conversations with her pet labradoodle about who’s a good dog.

Reviews

[౨ৎ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 !
rtc.

[ella ˚୨୧ ⋆｡. (interactive hiatus) · Rating 5 out of 5]

(many thanks to netgalley for granting me an arc in exchange for an honest review!)

❝ success is only meant to be rented out, borrowed in small doses at a time, never to be owned completely, no matter what price you're willing to pay for it. ❞

5★ | this book was so relatable on such a personal level, I feel so seen. This is the reason I love Ann Liang’s books so much. She gets it. She understands. And I think she writes these books so that her readers know they’re not alone. Like Ann said in her authors note, sometimes it means the most just to know other people are going through it too. Also, can we take a moment to appreciate this gorgina cover?? I loved how it talked about Jenna actually painting it in the book, that was so cool! I can’t wait for I Am Not Jessica Chen to be officially released into the world, so everyone can experience this freaking masterpiece.

જ⁀➴ our stars:

❝ I was Jenna Chen. Always the second one, the afterthought, the girl not good enough for anybody. ❞

*ੈ🎨 Jenna:
I love love loved her. I was only five pages in when I got the urge to give her a hug. That may be a record. I know what it feels like to think you’re not good enough, but I can’t imagine having everyone around you constantly reminding you that you aren’t. Even her own parents! But she had so much character growth. Also it’s so cool how she’s an artist!! I hope she goes to art school or something.

❝ if i'd kissed you, would have wanted me for an afternoon, and i would have wanted you for the rest of my life. ❞

*ੈ🫂 Aaron: If Ann Liang’s other fictional men are green flags, he’s the whole dang forest. I mean, he wants to be a doctor! To help people! Because he cares that much. He’s literally perfect, argue with the wall. And I loved the way he wasn’t afraid to tell Jenna everything about how he felt, it made everything so much easier lol.

જ⁀➴ the soundtrack:

jealously, jealously:
the comparison is killing me slowly… I’m so sick of myself, I’d rather be anyone else

you’re on your own kid:
I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this

seven:
love you to the moon and to Saturn

────୨ৎ────

post read:
HAHA so much for trying to savor it. What the heck am I supposed to do with my life now tho 😭. rtc!!!

pre read: IgotthearcIgotthearcIgotthrarc!!!!!!!! I GOT THE ARCCC. I got the arc. I. Got. The. ARC!!!! (hopefully that communicated my excitement) After reading the authors note, I already know this is a masterpiece. I’m going to do my best to savor it, but that’s going to be hard lol. SO LETS GET INTO IT 🤭🫶🏻

[mitra ౨ৎ · Rating 5 out of 5]

finished on 07┆︎26┆︎24 - spectacular give me 14 of them right now, rtc <3
ᝰ.ᐟ ⊹ started on 07┆︎25┆︎24 - I GOT THE ARC I GOT THE ARC I GOT THE ARC

--

cover reveal - YOU GUYS WHAT IF I CRIED HYPOTHETICALLY it’s so pretty my eyes have been blessed ! ann liang books are girl dinner (confirmed)

[julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.7 ˖⁺‧✮

“Success is such a beautiful thing. It’s so intimate, so heartachingly personal, I can feel it in my very blood.”

i couldn’t relate more to jenna. she’s everything i’ve been trying to deny; trying to hide or mask. i couldn’t understand why i felt so emotional the whole time i’ve been staring at my kindle. reading this book felt like rereading your old diary. the one that’s so painful to open, you just forget about. every detail in the story felt too personal and too close.

jenna became my favorite character from all of the books. her experience was so right and well written that sometimes it was hard to continue without taking a break.

always feeling not enough; seeing people live your dream life; comparing yourself to everyone around you; and always working so hard for someone else to take all the fame; you constantly drown yourself in thoughts, making it impossible to survive.

“I can never just be okay. I have to be perfect. I have to astound them. I have to prove that I’m intelligent or I’ll stop mattering.”

i’ve always thought to myself that you have to be the best or it won’t matter. this prospective is very painful and weird. i couldn’t let myself do any sports as a teenager. why? because i understood that i can’t achieve as much as other teens my age. my head wouldn’t accept me as an average. and looking back, i lost so many opportunities because of it. i really wish i could talk to jenna. i think it would be one of the best dialogues. (haha, little diary paragraph)

“But I couldn’t think of any good reason, other than who I was. Jenna Chen. Always the second one, the afterthought, the girl not good enough for anybody.”

jenna is creative, smart, passionate and independent. i truly admire the way she works and makes everything interesting to look at. she had so many prospectives on same situation. her creativity and hard working was overflowing and exiting to watch. i enjoyed reading about the way she was fighting her jealousy and excitement. how feelings of being someone who’s on the winning side were in a battle with her old self.

““Because I don’t want a quiet life, I want a brilliant one,” I say at last. “Because I need to know what it’s like to win. To be the best.””

it was easy for me to understand jenna’s point at the end. when she just couldn’t get back into previous “jenna”. i’m sure we all wish sometimes to be someone else. to see how it’s to be someone who’s always winning.

other characters: i liked aaron and his actions to change jenna’s thinking. but i can’t understand why earlier situation (rain scene) even happened. jessica was a turning character for me. i started with having no feelings to her - to feeling a little hate (because were reading from jenna’s prospective) - to liking her. she made wrong decisions but she’s same as jenna. i didn’t like her doing what she did… but she was so deep into being this amazing girl that it felt like the only decision for her.


i have so many quotes i want to include, but i’ll wait until the release.

Thank you Edelweiss and HarperCollins for approving my request for an arc!


pre-read
another beautiful arc!😭🙌🏻
SO EXITED🥹

[fadheela ♡ (on a mental-health break) · Rating 5 out of 5]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷・❥・“𝓘𝓽'𝓼 𝓼𝓾𝓬𝓱 𝓪 𝓼𝓾𝓯𝓯𝓸𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽—𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓘 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓪𝓬𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓱 𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓫𝓮𝓰𝓲𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓶𝔂 𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓭 .”・❥・ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

💌27/01/25
➸5 stars ~spoiler-free review💫~
Release Date: 28th January, 2025

First 5 star of this year!!😭✨ Here I am with the full review to convince everyone to read this just in time (especially my academic victims weapons), because I only did a mini review on my booksta. I can't believe this beautiful book is seeing the world tomorrow 🥹💖 OH MY GOD!! this book was—I don't know how to put this into words, no amount of words can describe how freaking relatable & raw this book was in every way. I SOBBED, I CRIED BECAUSE I FELT SEEN...SO SEEN...🥺❤️‍🩹 I always say that Ann writes one of the most relatable characters, but this one beats all her other FMCs. Every freaking line hit too hard home, I had to take breaks because at times I could see myself in both Jenna and Jessica's shoes 🫠 Let me tell you something, you all are not ready for this book!!😭✋🏻 (dw, it doesn't end on a sad note like ASTDR)

✨Let's meet our Academic Weapons✨

“I've always had this theory that if I want something badly enough, the universe will make sure to keep it just out of my reach—either out of boredom, or cruelty, like an invisible hand dangling stars on a string.”

Jenna Chen 👩🏻‍🎨~ Our striving burned-out academic victim, who has a passion for Art. She gets rejected by every Ivy League she has applied to, and feels like a shit person inside. She feels she's not good enough for anybody. Jenna is me, I am her. This book focuses on how striving to be successful in everything actually takes so much from you. The need to prove yourself to others because of the constant comparison with other children, your cousins, your friends, and even your own siblings sometimes....just makes things really hard. It's like you are never good enough for anything. Sometimes, you wish you were someone else. And this book was exactly that, Jenna wishing to be her smartest cousin—Jessica, the girl everyone loves, even her own parents. But jokes on her, she finds herself in Jessica's body one morning, and she doesn't know where her body or Jessica's soul is, and she slowly realizes everyone is forgetting the real Jenna.

“I'm a good student, a good daughter, a good example. But I've never been a good person. I don't know how to be.”

Jessica Chen 👩🏻‍🎓~ She's every Asian parent's dream child, the example, the picture-perfect model daughter and student, who is good in everything, and who is loved and envied by everyone. She's the definition of "academic weapon". She gets accepted to everyone's dream Ivy league, Harvard University. But she might not be that perfect "model" student as everyone sees her to be after all. She has her own shocking secrets to guard, one that Jenna unveils. I found Jessica also relatable because once you become that "top" student—your family, your teachers, and every person you meet expects you to be the best in everything. There is this constant pressure to be perfect. Otherwise, you have the fear of disappointing everyone. The glory of being a topper fades away with it. I have been there 2 years ago, and have done that. I "was" her, not anymore, because I learned my lesson very well of putting my mental health in jeopardy.

“The world just felt smaller without you.”

Aaron Cai 🩺~ Aaron freaking Cai, the man he is 😩💓 He is the definition of "quiet prodigy". How come a guy can be that perfect? I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, he makes me wish I had someone like him during high school aahhh. Even though everyone started forgetting memories of Jenna, he still recognized her in Jessica's body, he still looked out for her and missed her. 🤧 The romance is a subplot in this book, there is a hint of romance between Jenna & him, but don't let that stop you, bc this book is too GOOD to pass!!

“For anyone who's ever wished they could be someone else.”

From the moment I read this dedication & the author's note, I knew that I was going to freaking love this book to pieces. Ann really did it with this book, she portrayed the anxiety of her characters really well! I'm telling you now, right here, this second, that this is hands down the BEST BOOK OF ANN LIANG after "I hope this doesn't find you" 🙂‍↕️🙌🏻 RUN AND ADD THIS TO YOUR TBR BESTIES!!😌✋🏻

Read this if you like 💌:
🎀 Young Adult
🎀 Dark Academia
🎀 Artist x Muse
🎀 Asian Fiction
🎀 Students Burnout
🎀 "This is me trying"
🎀 Coming of Age

Thankyou to the author, the publisher & Netgalley for giving this incredible masterpiece ARC! I'm forever grateful🫶🏻💕

𝓢𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓯𝓪𝓿𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 💌:

“Maybe a miracle will happen. Maybe the universe will be kind for once, and when I reach up, the stars will fall into my palms”

“I'm simply not that good. Not in academics. Not in extracurriculars. Not as a student, or a daughter, or a human. It doesn't matter if I crammed my brain to the point of breaking with formulas and dates, threw myself into my classes, painted until the skin on my hands blistered and split open. Here is incontrovertible proof. Something in me is missing. Lacking.”

“They've bet everything on me—their time and energy and savings—and this is what I have to show for it. Sunk costs. A failed investment.”

“You have to prove yourself over and over, and when the glory for your most recent achievement expires, as it must, as it always will, you have to start again, but with more eyes trained on you, more people waiting for the day when your talent withers, and your discipline weakens, and your charm wears away. Success is only meant to be rented out, borrowed in small doses at a time, never to be owned completely, no matter what price you're willing to pay for it.”

“Do you always have to tease me? You couldn't just be nice?”
“It's hard to resist. I don't know why I do it, really. It's only with you.”
“Maybe it's because you don't like me. Because you hate me.”
“No, I could never hate you.”

“It's really you, isn't it? I can't believe it. I didn't want to believe it, but there's no other explanation for this. I know you too well.”

“Because I don't want a quiet life, I want a brilliant one. Because I need to know what it's like to win. To be the best.”

“You're not like Cathy. You're nothing like her.”

“I try again and again and nothing happens. Nothing comes of it. I'm never going to be first. I can't even be second, like Cathy.”

“That's the one thing I've worked for my entire life—to be someone who matters. That's why my parents moved to this country. That's my purpose. If I can't do it, then what's the point of anything? What's the point of me? What possible value could I provide?”

“You really don't know yourself at all, do you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You have no idea. You truly have no idea what you mean to me. You can't see yourself from anyone else's perspective; you don't even really know yourself.”

“I didn't feel alone. I realized I would never have to be alone again, if you were there.”

“You know it's my weakness. You know you're my weakness.”
“Then come back to me.”

“I miss it all. I miss my life because even when I felt like I had nothing, I had everything. I just didn't know it at that time. You never do, until it's in hindsight.”

“Jenna, you're all I've ever wanted. It's always been you. It can only be you.”

“I thought I needed to be the kind of person who'd sacrifice for success. I thought sacrifice was a good thing, that it proved you were determined, dedicated. But there are some things I have to keep for myself. Like, my integrity. Like my dignity. My sanity.”

ˋ°•*⁀➷・❥・𝓟𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓲𝓮𝔀・❥・ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

💌13/01/25
Got my first 5 star of this year 🤩, RTC near the publication date. OMG OMG OMG THIS IS HANDS DOWN THE BEST BOOK OF ANN LIANG after I hope this doesn't find you!!!!!!😌🙌🏻 I felt seen 😭 I know I took so long to finish this book, because I was in a reading slump due to new sem since new year, now I am back to reading again.🤭

💌01/01/25
what better way to start my year than read the arc by my fav Ann Liang?🤭 I feel like we all academic weapons who are burned out very much from last year, need this book so much this year in our lives!!😭🤍

[lydia ‧ ia · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 ✩

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪

this book is for the people who are never good enough. for the people who always feel like there’s someone better than them, the people who idolize others in their heads, the people who want with their entire being but when they get what they were craving, it’s never enough. people who don’t even know themselves because all they can see is their own failures.

even if some of us are better at hiding it, or feel it less, we can all relate to jenna chen in some way. and that is the beauty of this book. it’s not a cure for the feeling, but a balm. it tells you that you are not alone, and it gets better. it will remind you that there are more beautiful things in life than a gold medal or a shiny trophy.

ann liang did it again, you guys. I loved this so much that I read it twice back-to-back and loved it even more because of it. I will be counting down the days until this releases and I can share my favorite quotes. until then, do yourself a favor and put I am not jessica chen on your tbrs <3

₊˚🎧⊹ playlist
this is me trying
seven
mirrorball
gold rush
fresh out the slammer
clara bow
the prophecy
let it happen
I love you, I'm sorry
jealousy, jealousy
making the bed

[Lilyya ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.75 stars

“you came over and stood next to me. and suddenly—suddenly I didn’t feel alone. I realized I would never have to be alone again, if you were there.”

Ann Liang’s novels possess a gift for igniting my love for the young adult genre, her plume having a manner of conjuring a spell that whisks me back to the golden days of high school (a time I remember fondly.)

but I Am Not Jessica Chen unveils so much more within its pages than a simple love story. It’s a dance between magical realism and raw, tender truths. It’s a journey of self-awareness and self-acceptance, a call to embrace who you are, not the glittering trophies of your achievements.

Jenna Chen always felt she lived in the shadows of her cousin Jessica. no matter how hard she tried, she could never outshine her—Jessica always had better grades, a stronger résumé. she was the role model everyone admired: kind, studious, unapologetically beautiful, and selfless. after receiving a rejection from Harvard, Jenna made a wish upon a meteor: to be Jessica Chen. to her astonishment, she woke up trapped in her cousin’s body.

life as she knew it changed. somehow, her own essence and Jessica’s spirit had vanished. now, no one remembered who Jenna Chen was—except Aaron.

but as Jenna stepped into Jessica’s life, she discovered that standing on a pedestal was far more suffocating than she had ever imagined. the weight of maintaining the flawless image Jessica had so meticulously crafted became an exhausting burden. then came the revelation of a hidden mistake, a crack in the perfect façade that now threatened to jeopardize everything. With everything on the line, Jenna and Aaron must uncover the truth before the delicate web of lies collapses, taking with it the life she had come to inhabit.

the romance, though a mere fragment of the narrative, enchanted me completely. Aaron, somehow, believed Jenna when she confessed she was trapped in her cousin’s body, and the way he knew her so profoundly—that he recognized her even in a different form, a different body—was everything. as the revelations and declarations of love unfolded in the final stretch of the novel, I found myself overwhelmed. Jenna’s confession of self-loathing, Aaron’s long monologue praising her and showing her how he saw her, and knew her better than she knew herself, the way he explained why he had rejected her years ago—it all moved me to tears. these two had me utterly enthralled, and it’s been a long time since I cried so hard.

It was a beautiful story and certainly my favorite read of the year. but more importantly Ann Liang’s prose doesn’t just tell a story; it reminds you to cherish your own.
_____
many thanks to netgalley and the publisher for providing an e-ARC in exchange for an honest review

[Clace · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.37!

“I've always had this theory that if I want something badly enough, the universe will make sure to keep it just out of my reach—either out of boredom, or cruelty, like an invisible hand dangling stars on a string.”

After the mess that A Song to Drown Rivers was, I had lost my hope in Ann Liang and I was ready to move on but then I saw the cover reveal for this and it had me so intrigued which led me to reading her book and then the other day I stumbled on it's audio arc on netgalley and I requested it because I was genuinely so intrigued and it got accepted!! Easily the best thing that I have ever done because this book hit me with all the emotions. Ann Liang's writing is just so undeniably beautiful, I could not help but fall in love over and over again. I would just sit and listen to this book, and I would zone out of this world. Her style was so agonizingly beautiful and immersive because it told me why I would do my work and go to my room, and put my headphones on with this book playing on for hours. I needed to read this book because it helped me realize so many things, and I finally had something I could relate to.

“We turn pain into a story, because then it has a purpose. Then, we reason, there was a point to it all along. But sometimes pain is just pain, and there’s nothing particularly noble about clinging to it.”

Jenna, is our character who I resonated with so much and I clicked with her on a more personal level because we shared so many similarities, some of the same insecurities, the same expectations, the same disappoints and even the same fears and to have a character which has been crafted with so much detail and can target your issues and help you relate to them is such a hard thing to do but Ann Liang aced it with her characters. I loved reading about Jenna's want for academic validation, her envy for Jessica, and her wish to please her parents. It made everything just hit closer to home 😭 her entire arc had some deep underlying issues covered and the main one being ' happiness is the thief of joy' and the way this was explored was so brilliant because we experience everything and through that process it helps us realize what the saying means and ughh I loved it. Jessica, I like how her character arc also covered such important topics as well, like facing academic burnout, the burden of academic expectations, and the pressure to maintain a streak. Seeing her perspective made Jenna and me realize how difficult it must be for Jessica to go on with her life knowing that there's this set of expectations for her and she has to live according to them, and she can't fall out of it, which felt so exhausting, and I loved how it targeted by Ann's pen.

“You have to prove yourself over and over, and when the glory for your most recent achievement expires, as it must, as it always will, you have to start again, but with more eyes trained on you, more people waiting for the day your talent withers, and your discipline weakens, and your charm wears away. Success is only meant to be rented out, borrowed in small doses at a time, never to be owned completely, no matter what price you're willing to pay for it.”

The romance was written in such a perfect manner, it was more of a subplot because it did not interfere with the plot while also being strong enough to back itself up, it added a nice touch to the series and honestly it was needed, even though I would love it as much if it wasn't there, it just brought in more enjoyment, a bit of mysterious elements and some drama which I loved but also swoon worthy moments, scenes about trust and about loneliness which i loved so much. Aaron was such a cutie, and I loved him with Jenna. He noticed her when no one else to, and I love the help that he brought and the confidence he helped her find. The way he was able to see her for who she was is something that I will never forget.

“I'm simply not that good. Not in academics. Not in extracurriculars. Not as a student, or a daughter, or a human. It doesn't matter if I crammed my brain to the point of breaking with formulas and dates, threw myself into my classes, and painted until the skin on my hands blistered and split open. Here is incontrovertible proof. Something in me is missing. Lacking.”

Also, I appreciated the narrators because they did such a phenomenal job capturing the characters' voices, emotions, and actions. I truly would not have enjoyed it this much if not for the narrators because, honestly, mostly narrators don't deliver, and they somewhat ruin the experience, but here they quite literally elevated the whole journey, and I loved it.

“It's cruel, really, how the world tends to present its most beautiful parts to you when you're so profoundly sad.”

Overall, a banger novel!
__
Miss Liang, I'm sorry that I ever doubted you 🙏🏻
___
Giving Ann Liang a second chance because the covers too pretty and because I have an ALC.

*Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher-Harlequin Audio*

[jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

AL is quite skilled at exploring the growing pains of adolescence. all of her main characters are flawed, yet relatable girls who are just trying their best. you will always get a very real and genuine MC when you pick up one of ALs books and this one is no exception.

i also think this particular story does a good job at commentating on developing self-worth and self-acceptance. every teenager alive understands the feeling of unhappiness regarding some aspect of their life or what its like to fall victim to comparing themselves to others. so i think this story will impact a lot of readers who can empathize with what jenna is feeling.

so while theres a lot of good about this, it surprising didnt quite engage me as much as ALs other novels. maybe because the romance isnt a predominate focus this time around or maybe because i just wasnt personally vibing with the whole body switch trope.

regardless, this is still a sweet story!

↠ 3.5 stars

[cherie ^_-★ (ia—will be back on 8 sep) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars ⭐️
⤷ spoiler-free review!! ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

“For anyone who’s ever wished they could be someone else.”

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ my thoughts
this book brought back some painful memories from my school days #trauma 😭

having been an overachieving student in an asian household, this book deeply resonated with me. however, the execution felt pretty repetitive and underdeveloped, and the romance between jenna and aaron fell flat for me. despite aaron making a few sweet, romantic gestures, their relationship (and his character) lacked emotional depth imo.

that being said, i do appreciate the core message of this book. it highlights the emotional toll of striving for perfection in a world that often values numbers over individuality, and emphasizes that a person’s worth, happiness, and overall success in life isn’t defined by academic success. through jenna’s struggles, this book reminds us that comparison is the thief of joy, everyone is fighting their own battles, and no one’s life is as perfect as it may seem.

to be honest, i absolutely hated school and was at my lowest point in life during my time as a student. i often felt like i was inadequate, incapable, and unworthy because i struggled academically, especially given how intense the education system is in singapore. looking back, it’s crazyyy how often i cried because of school 🤣😭 i regret allowing it to take such a toll on my life and mental health—all the sleepless nights i spent crying over assignments, missing out on experiences, and isolating myself from my loved ones in the name of “academic success.”

all that yapping aside, here’s a message from me to all the students out there: i see you, and i’m cheering you on. school is tough, but there’s so much more to life than academics. i know it might not seem that way right now, and your feelings are valid, but i want you to know that you are so much more than your grades. you are incredible, beautiful, and loved, and your worth is NOT defined by numbers on a piece of paper. you got this, and i promise life gets better 🫂💖

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ overall
although i didn’t particularly love this book, it was an emotionally impactful and relatable read that made me reflect on my time as a student ~

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ quotes
"I'm simply not that good. Not in academics. Not in extracurriculars. Not as a student, or a daughter, or a human... Here is incontrovertible proof. Something in me is missing. Lacking."

"The system's fucked. Meritocracy is a myth, academia is corrupt, and grades are irrelevant."

"Everyone is still obsessing over their test papers, comparing answers, and for a few seconds, standing there in the doorway, the whole thing strikes me as entirely ridiculous. Nonsensical. All this trouble, all this scheming and grieving and competing, for what? A number that will shed its meaning in less than a year?"

"Sometimes I forget that in the bigger scheme of things, it's okay to not be the best at everything. To be surrounded by people who can solve problems you can't, who are talented in different ways, who will go on to change the world."

"This, right now, is the culmination of all those sleepless nights, every test I cried over, every extra hour I spent studying when I could have been driving down to the coast, eating dinner with my family, going to the mall with my friends, visiting the cherry orchards or swimming in the lake in the high heat of summer."

"It's the mantra we've all been fed since we were kids: study hard, get into a good school, be better than everyone else, and you'll have a better life."

"It's so easy to fall into the assumption that anything someone else gains is something you lose. To think of success as some lavish party with only a limited number of invites... But I mean, look what's being done to us-to our self-esteem, to our pride, to our bodies. We're all exhausted and on the verge of breaking down at any second and somehow... somehow we're expected to just keep going."

“A model student causes no trouble. A model student makes no noise. A model student gives everything they have and asks for nothing. They simply keep their head down and study and get the best scores on behalf of the school, and then graduate as valedictorian, with the perfect winning streak, and they head to the best universities in the world to train even harder to become a model citizen, so they can continue to be good. They’re so good that nobody bothers to notice when something’s wrong. They’re so good they’re an afterthought. They’re so good they might as well not exist, except to be used as evidence that success is possible, that the system is perfectly sound, that anyone who struggles can only blame themselves.”

“I miss it all. I miss my life, because even when I felt like I had nothing, I had everything. I just didn’t know it at the time. You never do, until it’s in hindsight.”


pre-read
my last read of january ~ i have pretty high expectations for this one and hope it lives up to them 🥹🤞🏻

[anh · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75 stars

“Success is only meant to be rented out, borrowed in small doses at a time, never to be owned completely, no matter what price you're willing to pay for it.”

I Am Not Jessica Chen follows 17-year-old Jenna Chen, who, after failing to meet her parents' expectations, wishes to become her perfect cousin, Jessica. When the wish is granted, Jenna finds herself living Jessica's life but soon realises that the pressure of perfection comes with a cost. As her own identity fades and others begin to forget who she is, Jenna must decide if fitting in is worth losing herself. The story explores identity, family expectations, and the dangers of striving for perfection.

➸ I picked up this book because something about the synopsis hit a little too close to home. It felt like it was going to be a book that would resonate with me deeply—and I was right. By about 10% into the story, I found myself tearing up. It was like reading my own thoughts, and I felt so seen in ways I didn’t expect.

Honestly, this book brought back some memories of my high school days, which were probably one of the most stressful periods of my life. Even though I’m now a full-time uni student (and trust me, that brings its own set of stress), high school was a different kind of trauma. The pressure to be perfect, to constantly achieve, and to meet everyone’s expectations is something that sticks with you long after the years have passed. This book captures that perfectly—it really makes you feel what it’s like to always feel like you’re failing or never doing enough, no matter how hard you try.

This book isn’t just for people who have struggled with academic validation. I think anyone who has ever felt like they weren’t enough, or who has beaten themselves up over not meeting their family’s or society’s expectations, will be able to relate to this book. The constant pressure of striving for perfection and still not getting the result you wanted hurts more than we realise. It’s a feeling that a lot of us have been through. But what I love about this book is how it shows the universal nature of that struggle. We often look at others and envy their seemingly perfect lives, but the truth is, we have no idea what they might be going through behind the scenes. This book really helped me realise that, and honestly, it was an emotional wake-up call.

One of the biggest takeaways for me was the reminder not to compare your life to anyone else’s. It’s so easy to get caught up in the comparison game, but this book drives home how harmful that can be. Everyone’s journey is different, and we can never fully understand what someone else is going through, no matter how “perfect” their life might seem on the outside.

“It's my life,” I think with amazement, “and it's beautiful, and I can paint it any colour I want to.”

Jenna, the main character, is someone I really connected with. She’s an overachiever, completely burnt out from trying to meet everyone’s expectations, but underneath all that, she has a passion for art that gets buried under the pressure to succeed. After being rejected by an Ivy League school she applied to, Jenna feels like a failure—like she’s not good enough for anyone, especially herself. And it’s heartbreaking because she’s constantly comparing herself to her cousin Jessica. Jessica is everything Jenna wishes she could be: perfect, successful, and loved by everyone, including their parents. But when Jenna wakes up one day in Jessica’s body, she quickly realises that what seemed like the perfect life isn’t so perfect after all. As the days go by, Jenna starts to fade away, and everyone around her begins to forget who she truly is. It’s a haunting reminder of how easy it is to lose yourself when you’re constantly trying to be someone else.

“We turn pain into a story, because then it has a purpose. Then, we reason, there was a point to it all along. But sometimes pain is just pain, and there’s nothing particularly noble about clinging to it.”

Jessica, the cousin everyone admires, is the definition of an “academic weapon.” She’s the ideal daughter—smart, successful, accepted into Harvard, and loved by everyone. But as Jenna uncovers, Jessica’s life isn’t as flawless as it seems. Beneath her perfect exterior, Jessica has secrets and struggles of her own, ones that no one knows about. As someone who has always been at the top of her class, Jessica’s story is all about the crushing pressure of perfection. It’s this constant fear of disappointing others and always being expected to be the best. I found Jessica’s character really relatable too, because once you become that “perfect” student, it’s like everyone expects you to be perfect in everything. The weight of those expectations can be suffocating, and this book does a great job of showing how the glory of being the “top” student fades away when the pressure starts to break you down.

That said, I do think the book missed an opportunity to dive deeper into Jessica’s character. While her struggles are subtly hinted at, I really felt there was so much more to her story that could have been explored. There are moments when her internal conflict surfaces, but I wish the author had spent more time delving into her thoughts and emotions, especially as she navigates the weight of those high expectations.

As for the romance subplot, I thought it was really sweet. Aaron was the kind of person you’d want by your side—supportive, understanding, and always ready to have your back. His appreciation for Jenna felt incredibly genuine, and it was refreshing to see a character who saw Jenna for who she truly was. Their chemistry was really natural, which made their relationship feel authentic and comforting.

Overall, this book is a powerful, emotional story about identity, the pressures of perfection, and the damage that comparison can do. It doesn’t just focus on academic struggles—it digs into the deeper emotional toll that comes with always feeling like you’re not enough. It’s a great reminder to stop comparing ourselves to others and to embrace who we are, flaws and all. This book really made me feel understood, and for that, I’m grateful.

[ivy || v. busy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars
↳ i am not jessica chen follows jenna as she makes a wish to be her perfect cousin jessica chen. somehow, the next day when she wakes up, she is transformed into jessica's body and starts living her perfect life but slowly begins to realize that if people think you're perfect, there is an immense pressure to remain perfect by constantly pushing and sacrificing yourself.

🎨 jenna chen ᝰ.ᐟ tbh i can't say that i'm the biggest fan of her. of course i get when you're jealous of your perfect cousin, but i think she was obsessed with jessica in a way that was strange. her whole life basically revolved around jessica and how she could prove to herself and the people around her that she was better/just as good. throughout the book, she kept romanticizing jessica's life, and sure, it might've looked perfect, but even thinking a little about it would've made her realize that you need to put tons and tons of hard work into being perfect. jenna just thought jessica got into harvard because she's "perfect" and not the fact that she had to put her whole life and soul into getting in. however, i do see her side, and it's genuinely so hard to be constantly compared to someone you know that you'll never measure up to.

📖 jessica chen ᝰ.ᐟ oh my gosh. literally the sweetest girl ever. i want to give her a huge hug. even though we didn't directly get her point of view, we could see through her journal entries how pressured she was to always be perfect and never slipping up. for example, when jenna slipped into jessica's body and got a 91% on a test in an extremely hard class, people were shocked and her parents even asked her if she was sick. i seriously cannot imagine that level of pressure and stress. so happy that my girl got into harvard, but she seriously deserves a long, long break.

💐 aaron cai ᝰ.ᐟ go girl give us nothing! aaron was there for maybe 10% of the book and we needed moreeee 😩. i didn't dislike him per se, but we didn't see enough of him to love him. everytime he showed up he was so sweet though 🥹. him and jenna are the definition of calm bf and enthusiastic gf.

overall, this was a pretty solid read!! not my favorite ann liang, but not my least favorite. and of course, no one does relatable fmc like ann. i could see myself in both jessica and jenna, especially being east asian 🥹. i absolutely adored our culture represented in this book <3

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ quotes :
୨ৎ 💌 “you have to prove yourself over and over, and when the glory for your most recent achievement expires, as it must, as it always will, you have to start again, but with more eyes trained on you, more people waiting for the day your talent withers, and your discipline weakens, and your charm wears away. success is only meant to be rented out, borrowed in small doses at a time, never to be owned completely, no matter what price you're willing to pay for it.”
୨ৎ 💌 “i’ve always wanted that: to be looked up at, to be known by people i’ve never even spoken to before, to be special, distinct, standing up on the tallest, brightest platform. but only now do i realize that when you’re out in the open, alone under the lights, and everyone else is in the darkness, you make for such a terribly easy target.”
୨ৎ 💌 “because to me, wanting has always been indistinguishable from pain.”

NOTE : please remember that grades DO NOT DEFINE YOU. you are worth so much more than a silly letter written on a piece of paper. you are you, and you are special, and no one else will ever be like you

- buddy read this with my favorite angel ahana <3, i love you so much and i'm so eternally grateful that we could read this together 🥹💗

[kim ౨ৎ [semi-ia]]

—— pre-read 💐ᝰ.ᐟ
this was so precious. rtc!

ann liang is such a gem of a writer, and i lovelovelove everything that she writes. beyond excited to see what i think of this one ! i'm br this with my favie saish ♡♡ love u so so much and i can't wait to have the best time with u <3

saisha's gorg review here ⊹₊⟡⋆

[Ava ✿ (hiatus) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ☆ ! 🫧

it's so easy to fall into the assumption that anything someone else gains is something you lose

♫ | lacy by olivia rodrigo
aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?

🦢 ᯓ opening thoughts :
this book reminds me of a hazy painting. while the plot and characters are clear, there was a sort of blurriness to the background. it never gives any specifics or names the town/state the story is set in. there are also hardly any reference to the outside world. I must admit, it threw me off. I love Ann Liang w all my heart, but it almost seems like she only focused on the immediate story and not any of the small, yet important, details. however, this book touched me deeply.

🌸 ᯓ plot & writing :
I binged this book, thanks to the amazing fast moving plot. it never dragged once! and the air of creepiness it had was perfect. because you might like to live someone else’s life for a day, but what happens if you're stuck in their body forever? that’s horror right there hehe. the writing ate, ofc. there were so many beautiful heart wrenching quotes <3

🎓 ᯓ characters :

★ Jenna :
i've always had this theory that if i want something badly enough, the universe will make sure to keep it just out of my reach

↳ her take on life was a bit disturbing, tbh. thankful for character development! but I couldn’t imagine being that obsessed with someone that you spent your entire life trying, and failing, to be like them. I think if she’d just embraced her own talents and personality, she probably would’ve had her own life and friend group instead for trailing Jessica around. still, I loved her a lot!

★ Aaron :
if i'd kissed you, you would have wanted me for an afternoon, and i would have wanted you for the rest of my life

↳ big thanks to him for saving Jenna from herself. also, if a fictional man is named Aaron, he’s automatically the hottest one around. I don’t make the rules. I might be in love with him. he is so charismatic and caring ahh <3 and the way he loved Jenna had me sobbing.

🎀 ᯓ romance :
shut upppp! these two have my whole heart. they are the definition of to be loved is to be known. childhood friends to lovers is such an underrated trope! <3

↳ 🎧 jenna+aaron playlist :
mirrorball
seven
this is me trying
right where you left me
afterglow
I knew it, I knew you
I love you, I’m sorry
we can’t be friends

ps:
I was deeply touched by this story, as I relate to Jenna on a certain level. and maybe you do too. so I want you to know that you don’t have to be the best at everything. you don’t have to be someone else. you are YOU, and that’s more than enough <3

xoxo, Ava <3

⤿ thank u to netgalley, for an arc in exchange for an honest review!

⊱✿⊰

-

ᯓ★ pre read !
screaming crying throwing up bc I got the arc!!!! the way my heart stopped when i opened gmail and saw the email from netgalley 🥹 im so excited, Ann Liang is a queen and everything she writes is always amazing! hoping for a five star <3

[sama ୨୧ (slumping.) · Rating 5 out of 5]

HAPPY RELEASE DAYYY TO THE BEST BOOK EVER <33
I can’t wait for everyone to experience this mesmerising, beautiful book, it truly is everything to me. happy reading! 🤍
……
5 stars <𝟑
⤷ this is a literal masterpiece. im in awe ꨄ

💌 ”maybe a miracle will happen. maybe the universe will be kind for once, and when i reach up, the stars will fall into my palms. maybe…” 💌

ohmygosh. this hit too hard. ann liang truly never misses with these incredible standalones— never ever. jenna chen is the representation I needed. the neglected daughter that can never be quite enough for her parents. its nice to be acknowledged, despite how much this book hurt bc i felt it on an insanely deep level that i needed to step away and wipe my tears.

🥀 ”the books i find myself thinking about long after turning the last page are not necessarily the ones that say “here’s how to stop feeling like this,” but instead, “you’re not alone in feeling this way.” whether you find yourself relating more to jenna chen or jessica chen, i can only hope that’s what this book does for you.” 🥀

I truly hope anyone that ever feels like they’re not enough, or feel so jealous of someone else’s achievements that you don’t even wanna be you anymore— please, pleasee, read this book. it healed me like no other book has before. because there is always someone who’s proud of you and sees you as the most precious thing in the world <3 never compare yourself!

📖 plot:

jenna chen is sick and tired. tired of never being enough to please her parents. tired of never being smart enough, or good enough, to receive the offers and awards her cousin jessica so easily does every single day. when she gets rejected for her dream ivy league college, harvard, and finds out jessica got accepted— it’s her last straw. she feels so ashamed, so embarrassed that her cousin can receive everything so easily, and she continues to be a failure. so she wishes. she closes her eyes and wishes with all want and desperation.

”I wish I was Jessica Chen.”

she goes to sleep sad. knowing it will never happen— that she’ll never be anything like her successful cousin. but when she wakes, in jessica chen’s body, she thinks she’s got everything she ever wanted. she can finally be seen— recognised for her talents, praised, adored. it’s everything she ever wanted.. right? but when everyone else starts forgetting jenna chen, she wonders, was this all worth it?

🫶🏼 characters:

🎨 jenna chen. she was so easy to relate to. I saw a lot of me in her, as im sure many will, and im sure reading this will help a lot of people realise they’re not alone in feeling not good enough, or finding that you compare yourself to others from time to time. it’s completely normal, but i want you to know that you are enough, you are perfect <3 im happy to see her character develop when she realised sometimes it’s okay to not excel at everything, and that things have a way of working out in the end… (i did sob violently when i came to this conclusion last night)

🩺 aaron cai. ahh new book bf alert!! whilst romance was not exactly the main focus of this story, i still adored him so much. ann’s fictional men never ever fail me. they’re always so sweet, so romantic, so adorable!! and when he was telling jenna how incredible and talented she was, I literally wanted to cry for her because that’s all she ever wanted. he’s a cutie pie for sure.

☄️ jessica chen. i literally don’t know why i used that emoji but whatever. seeing jenna live her life made us see how much she struggles— the way she’s so harsh on herself because everything is expected to be perfect from her. her grades, her mannerisms, her accomplishments. and if she fails, the disappointment just hits even harder bc no one expects it. so I really feel for her even though i admit i have a few ‘jessica chens’ in my life that i wanted to be like.

🧸 quotes i loved:

ᯓᡣ𐭩 this is a book about wanting. wanting to be prettier, smarter, cooler, more popular, more confident, more talented. wanting someone so desperately down to your bones that you fear and hope they’ll be the end of you. wanting to scrub your insecurities away and try on another life like a brand-new dress.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 i’m simply not that good. not in academics. not in extracurriculars. not as a student, or a daughter, or a human.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 “..you hate me.” his brows drew together. “No,” he said firmly, despite his confusion. “I could never hate you.” “Really?” “I swear it.”

ᯓᡣ𐭩 “You’re so talented you don’t even have to try, while all i do is try,”

💐 conclusion:

sorry for the yap overload, but this book just means sooo much to me, I can’t even explain how healing and beautiful and helpful and amazing this was. i’m omw to preorder it rn bc I need this in my possession the second it comes out!! so, so good. pls go read it <3 ann liang i love you so much.

thank you to harpercollins publishing and netgalley for this arc in exchange for an honest review!!

…..
4.75 ✰ omg this was so freaking good but i absolutely sobbed my eyes out. rtc tomorrow bc i need sleep so bad.

[Linz_loves_books (Semi-Hiatus) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Happy Publication Day🥳🥳🥳
4.25✨

“You know, I used to have this theory that if I wanted something badly enough, the universe would make sure to keep it just out of my reach. Like a cruel joke, or a trick. But . . . maybe the cruelest trick the universe can play on us is to give us exactly what we wish for.”

Jenna Chen works hard, studies hard, and tries her best to live up to her parent's expectations. No matter what she does she always feels that she falls short, especially when she is compared to her cousin Jessica. Jenna is tired of always being compared to her cousin and always feeling like she is second best. She is tired of never feeling like she is good enough. At a family gathering, when it is announced that Jessica got an acceptance letter to Harvard, Jenna's dream school, she finally gives up. She is embarrassed and ashamed, and she wishes with every fiber in her being that she can be her cousin. Never did she think that her wish would turn into reality until she wakes up the next morning in her cousin's body. She finally gets to see what it is like to be her cousin, where everyone notices her, and she is always the best. The question is at what cost?

Ann Liang has a way with words and her writing. The one thing I absolutely love about her books and her writing is that she finds ways to highlight topics or issues that so many of her readers go through and experience. She knows how to make sure her readers are heard or seen in her writing and because of this her writing is beautiful. I know when I was younger, I went through some of the same feelings or issues that Jenna went through. Trying to live up to perfection and falling short, allowing that to affect our sense of self-worth and validation. Ann Liang gives her readers a voice and because of that I will always read anything she writes.

Favorite Quotes

“You have to prove yourself over and over, and when the glory for your most recent achievement expires, as it must, as it always will, you have to start again, but with more eyes trained on you, more people waiting for the day when your talent withers, and your discipline weakens, and your charm wears away. Success is only meant to be rented out, borrowed in small doses at a time, never to be owned completely, no matter what price you're willing to pay for it.”

"That's the one thing I've worked for my entire life—to be someone who matters. That's why my parents moved to this country. That's my purpose. If I can't do it, then what's the point of anything? What's the point of me? What possible value could I provide?”

“I thought I needed to be the kind of person who'd sacrifice for success. I thought sacrifice was a good thing, that it proved you were determined, dedicated. But there are some things I have to keep for myself. Like, my integrity. Like my dignity. My sanity.”

Thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins Publishing for access to this e-arc in exchange for an honest review.


PreRead Review: OMG I GOT THE ARC TO THIS ONE!!!!
The cover is simply stunning, and I can't wait to start it soon!❤️❤️

[kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

꒰🏛️꒱ ⁺˖ જ⁀➴ thank you to NetGalley and the publishers (HarperCollins Children's Books) for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

꒰🩰⌗₊꒱ ········· i am not jessica chen - stars 4.25 ☆⁺˖

°˖➴ ꒰🪐꒱ plot 〰️: jenna chen is always second place to her cousin, jessica chen. her [jennas] grades are always good but not good enough, while jessica is always top of the class and getting all awards possible. one day, jenna wishes to be jessica and surprisingly, her wish comes true. the next day, jenna wakes up in jessicas body and has her life.

౨ ✉️ ৎ my opinion ✔️: SO SO GOOD!! this may be my favorite ann liang book? like ever? this felt so different than her other books - ann liang always has a mc who is the best, whose top of her class, who wins all the awards. this time, we got an mc who wishes she could be like that. jenna is like the song 'this is me trying' by taylor swift and i relate to her SO MUCH - here is a note i took while only being on page 12.

pg 12 | • i already relate to jenna chen SO MUCH. she is me, i am her. always trying your hardest but never being/feeling as good as everyone else is honestly so true. every single one of my friends are so smart, theyre always above average while i am just average. its honestly exhausting always giving my all and it never being enough. so, i strongly believe that ann liang wrote a book about me.

not only that but i loved all the other characters as well - aaron, in usual ann liang fashion, was amazing 🤭 another thing that was different was there was no enemies to lovers storyline - instead it was more of a second chance? i dont really know how to explain it but i really enjoyed the romance regardless. ANOTHER THING - that ending. when i tell you cried till my eyes hurt. i know i was promised a heartbreaking ending from ann liang herself : (click here) - im just so glad that everything worked out in the end 🙈🤍

°˖➴ ꒰🪐꒱ what i didn't like✖️: honestly? there was nothing that i didnt like. the only reason this wasnt five stars was because it didnt have that five star feeling for me, but still - it was an amazing book, easily one of my favorite reads of the year. im so exited to see everyones reviews and reactions when this is released!!

········· ꒰🏹꒱ recommend❔ 👍🏻∿👎🏻
જ⁀➴ ···· ౨ 📖 ৎ ⤳ yes!
i 100% recommend this. for me, this was such a relatable book - i felt so seen, and i feel like it could be the same for so many people. to the 'this is me trying' (by taylor swift) girlies - this book is for you <3
౨ৎ release date: 1/28/25 ⁺˖ ✉️❕

────────

pre-review: i cried and my eyes hurt and ann liang needs to pay for my therapy. anyway, rating and review to come!

ᝰ.ᐟ pre-read: AA i still cant believe i got the arc 🤭 i am SO exited to start this!! 🙈💗

I HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY THE ARC GODS BCS I JS GOT APPROVED FOR THIS ONE TOO 😧 I THINK I MAY CRY HAPPY TEARS?

oh my days ANOTHER ann laing that i didnt know about??!?

[ahana ⊹ [ ia ] · Rating 4 out of 5]

                                     ―🍵 4.5 stars ₊ ۫ ੭

⊹ no moisturizer in the world can compare to the sheen of success, the glow of glory. no contacts or eyelash extensions can make the eyes glow brighter than immediate validation. no rouge can ever replicate the flush of victory

﹙🫐﹚— plot and initial thoughts ᰋ

so, what if one day you wake up to find yourself to be in the body of the person you've envied, resentfully admired and strived to be like every waking moment of your entire life? i am not jessica chen is for all the girls out there who dream of achieving a certain height of excellence that seems so close yet so far, as it slips away from their grasp time and again. who constantly end up comparing themselves with this utopian made-up version of a person who they think is perfect. perfect grades, perfect body, perfect social life. brimming with jealousy and hoping for a time when their goals come true as well. i wish i could articulate my tangled and chaotic thoughts that are storming through my head. frankly, i flew through this so quickly that at one point it was difficult to distinguish where jenna began and i ended. the story was so delicate, dealing with topics that were realistic but portrayed by swirling it with a little bit of magical realism. it is a book like no other. also, let's take a moment to appreciate the cover!! so insanely gorgeous. i love the little detail that jenna herself painted the self-portrait in the book. such a tiny thing but it ties the whole thing together <3

⊹ we turn pain into a story, because then it has a purpose. then, we reason, there was a point to it all along. but sometimes pain is just pain, and there’s nothing particularly noble about clinging to it.

﹙🫐﹚— writing ᰋ

ann liang's works are nothing short of compelling. it has you in a chokehold from the very first page. the way it flows so smoothly, minutes and hours forgotten as i fully get engrossed in the book is one of the best feelings in the world. this book was certainly not an exception to that. her poetic writing made the experience so much better and some of the quotes had me jump up and pace around the house with my jaw on the floor. within a span of a few pages, it turned my giggling self to watery eyes and tear-stained cheeks. i could go on and on about how marvelously this is written, but i wouldn't want to bore you with my mindless rambling. if you're looking for a book filled with lines that hit you hard and soft, then this is for you.

⊹ i miss it all. i miss my life, because even when i felt like i had nothing, i had everything. i just didn’t know it at the time. you never do, until it’s in hindsight.

﹙🫐﹚— characters ᰋ

⊹ jenna chen -
⤿ i'm simply not that good. not in academics. not in extracurriculars. not as a student, or a daughter, or a human... here is incontrovertible proof. something in me is missing. lacking.

one thing i could count on when i pick up ann's books is that i will for sure be getting a relatable character. a raw, messy and flawed person that i could resonate with so much that it was almost painful. being second in everything in life, she could never live up to her cousin, jessica. this reminder was stark in its appearance everywhere she went. at home and at school, she couldn't escape the constant comparison. jenna's journey of finding out that what might appear ideal on the outside is not at all what it seems like on the inside and in the process, finding herself was almost comforting to read about. she was incredibly self-deprecating and wasn't willing to see her true worth. she almost forgot herself in the process of being so wrapped up with trying to be the best. she could only truly express herself when she was creating art as she used it as a means of escaping from the real world. i feel so understood. characters like this are the ones that stick with me even after i close the last page of the novel.

⊹ aaron cai -
⤿ if i’d kissed you, you would have wanted me for an afternoon, and i would have wanted you for the rest of my life.

we adore aaron in this household !! he was not consistently present throughout the book as much as i had hoped but every single scene he was in was absolutely delightful. i love how aaron had depth and his own story rather than just being thrown in as the protagonist's love interest. we got to know why he is the way he is, what pushed him to pursue his ambition and what shaped him to be the person he is today. i wish we saw more of his back story and his relationship with jenna and jessica but it was understandable that it wasn't our main focus. he was the only person who knew it was jenna in jessica's body and he stuck with her from the beginning to the end. he noticed everything, even the smallest little details. he remembered so much about jenna and kept proving that he listens and cares. sometimes, we all need a person like this who is willing to show up for you over and over again.

⊹ jessica chen -
⤿ i though sacrifice was a good thing, that it proved you were determined, dedicated. but there are some things i have to keep for myself. like, my integrity. like my dignity. my sanity.

she is the living proof that happiness is not guaranteed with success, no matter how hard you work for it. it is not a bonus gift you get along with the validation you so greedily crave for. she has the life that everyone wants and yet she was so profoundly sad. jessica's tired and exhausted with having to maintain the image she created for herself. one small crack or fissure and everything would come crumbling down. she couldn't afford that. so, she worked tirelessly for years, keeping up with her reputation, not disappointing her family or teachers, putting on a mask to conceal her true feelings. and all for the cost of what? grades and awards that wouldn't matter in a few years? she sacrificed her happiness and was robbed of having a normal childhood. "this, right now, is the culmination of all those sleepless nights, every test i cried over, every extra hour i spent studying when i could have been driving down to the coast, eating dinner with my family, going to the mall with my friends, visiting the cherry orchards or swimming in the lake in the high heat of summer" this sums up her character perfectly and my heart aches for her. i did find it a bit quizzical how i see so much of myself in both jessica and jenna even though they're vastly different characters. she was the sweetest girl in and out, and she deserves everything in the world.

⊹ you're sensitive, and maybe that means you feel pain and fear and humiliation more sharply, but you also feel joy more beautifully and completely than anyone i know.

﹙🫐﹚— overall experience ᰋ

i fear this is one of the best books of 2025 for me so far! i didn't go in with the highest expectations as i had seen a couple of low reviews but i knew my heart would be broken mercilessly. and it was, but somehow the ending was like a soothing balm and made me feel incredibly warm on the inside. this story beautifully grazed topics such as finding your own true self, learning to love and accept us just as we are, familial relationships, romantic relationships (childhood friends to lovers in this case!) and the bond between cousins. the talk between jenna and jessica towards the end actually healed something within me <3 although, in the romance department, i do wish we got to see more of aaron + jenna together. that was my only small complaint, but this was a near five star read for me. and im honored that i chose to read this with the best girl ever, ivy! this was such a wonderful experience my love, i truly enjoyed every second of this br. im so glad i got to rant, scream, cry and giggle over this book with you, forever so grateful for it. manifesting many more amazing reads together. i love you endlessly angel 🫂💗

⊹ the sun is bursting through my chest, breaking past my lips. it's my life, i think with amazement, and it's beautiful, and i can paint it any color i want to. right now it's drenched in the brightest shade of gold. i have the brush in my hands, and the canvas is mine. it's all mine.

with all my love,
ahana ୨୧

[Dawn Solaris · Rating 5 out of 5]

★彡 4.5 stars 彡★

“We turn pain into a story, because then it has a purpose. Then, we reason, there was a point to it all along. But sometimes pain is just pain, and there’s nothing particularly noble about clinging to it.”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ Where do I begin? The lyrical prose? The ability of making anyone who read it, feel seen? Or, the general warmth to it that kept me tugged till the end? It’s just as breathtaking a piece as I had envisioned. Watch the words in this book bleed together to form a messily perfect blend of us and our desires, and acknowledge how it honestly has such a tentative touch to it as it does so. Ann Liang, when will you ever disappoint? (Not that I want you to, or anything! Just frustrates me that you do it perfectly, hit the nail, all the damn time!)

ıllıllı The Vibes ıllıllı

⁀➷ The writing is so pretty and floral that it really makes me want to curl into a ball of a distressed mess and cry! I think part of it comes from being in a painter’s mind, as we follow Jenna appraise every tint, every shade, every dip and every bow of the sceneries around her. It’s so breathy and gorgeous that it hurts (don’t mind me being a pathetic simp for it!). And then comes the plot of it all. Haven’t we all been there? You can be either a Jessica or a Jenna, but trust this to hit in all the nice ways, because Ann Liang knew what she was doing with one. ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

(✲✪‿✪)ﾉ †hε ςhαrας†εrš (✲✪‿✪)ﾉ

┗━•✿ 🅙🅔🅝🅝🅐 🅒🅗🅔🅝: The girl says she’s someone with no presence. Someone to easily fade, but I disagree. Jenna feels real, and loveable. Her flaws are evident and she acknowledges them, instead of sweeping them under a rug of fake morality. And my girl deserves all the appreciation she thinks she’s denied, just because she feels she isn’t enough.

“I’ve always wanted that: to be looked up at, to be known by people I’ve never even spoken to before, to be special, distinct, standing up on the tallest, brightest platform. But only now do I realize that when you’re out in the open, alone under the lights, and everyone else is in the darkness, you make for such a terribly easy target.”

Watching her realise that the plated version of Jessica she always saw through her warped lenses never existed to begin with, and how someone who appears perfect and apparently has a perfect life, has so much on their shoulders to maintain that picture… it was so neatly done. Her relationship with Jessica was beautifully explored. And hence, I feel like Jenna’s characterisation and journey is there to teach and soothe so many out there.

┗━•✿ 🅙🅔🅢🅢🅘🅒🅐 🅒🅗🅔🅝: We hardly get to meet her as much because Jenna inhabits her body for almost the entirety of the book, but watching Jenna unravel piece by piece, how Jessica’s life really treats her? Honestly, if Jenna is This Is Me Trying coded, then Jessica is Mirrorball personified.

It’s always about how so much is expected from her. One misstep, and it all comes falling down in a torrent of self loathing. Because if she disappoints, then she’s not trying hard enough. The parallels between Jenna and Jessica are insane, because, really? It all comes down to the same thing, no matter who you are. Expectations, and living up to them.

┗━•✿ 🅐🅐🅡🅞🅝 🅒🅐🅘: Mark my words, romance is a very very subtle side plot in this, mostly because the book largely focuses on Jenna’s self discoveries. But it’s there, and it’s glimmeringly gorgeous. Aaron is so perfect and the childhood best-friends to lovers? A million times, yes!

Especially for someone like Jenna who thinks of herself as always the mediocre, always the one to fade away? Aaron is the guy. You should listen to him going on for literal paragraphs about how significant of a presence she has, when she says how much she wants to keep Jessica’s life forever, because she’s never enough by her own. He talks about how he cherishes the tiniest of details about her, from her loving to paint and obliviously adoring everything around her, to crying over cartoon commercials. Isn’t this the kind of guy we all need? ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

»»——★ fιnαℓ тнσυgнтѕ ★——««

⁀➷ If you’re browsing through shelves, and this pretty book just happens to be winking back at you, know that you should follow your instincts and pick it up. Because the book itself is exactly as the bewitching cover portrays… tentative, but dreamy.

｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡

[Rowan · Rating 4 out of 5]

olivia Rodrigo wrote “lacy” about jenna Chen and no one can tell me otherwise!!!

“I am not Jessica Chen. And maybe Jessica Chen herself isn't either. Maybe nobody is. The very idea of her is a construct, a myth, a distraction, the dream we're forever reaching toward but can never quite grasp.”

ann liang really redeemed herself to me with this one, I think this might just be my favorite book of hers so far. I’m hoping it doesn’t end up as my second favorite, though, because I saw some really good reviews of “I hope this doesn’t find you”

this book dives deep into themes of academic validation, self-discovery, jealousy, and identity. the book really touches on some heavy topics, but the most important lesson I took away from it is about to never comparing your life to others.
you really have no idea what someone else might be going through. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparing, but this book makes you realize how harmful that can be. the journey itself, was great. The book just flows so well. It starts with an interesting premise, and the pacing is spot on.
It’s neither too fast nor too slow, and I always felt engaged. It’s one of those stories that keeps you turning pages without feeling rushed or dragging on. i read it in one setting!!

and let’s talk about the romance subplot for a second. It was adorable! arron is honestly the definition of a green flag. someone you’d want in your corner.
His appreciation for jenna was so refreshing to see, and their connection felt really genuine, which made their relationship even more heartwarming. he didn’t give up on her even when she did and the fact he flew away because he thought she will get bored of him? 😭 stab me now.

I was leaning toward giving this a solid 5 stars, but there was something about it that stopped me from fully connecting with the main character. Don’t get me wrong, I loved her journey. Watching her grow, accept herself, and learn to love herself by the end of the story was amazing. But there was still this emotional gap, that was the main thing holding me back from rating it higher. and I wanted more depth especially with Jessica. I really wanted to see more of her internal struggle with the pressure and expectations placed on her. It was hinted at, but I feel like the book could’ve delved deeper into her character. I also wanted a bit more from Jenna. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what was missing, but it felt like there was a piece of her story that wasn’t fully fleshed out.

۫ ꣑ৎ overall, though, it’s still a super fast paced and enjoyable read that’s packed with lessons about life. If you’ve ever had that academic validation kink (like me), prepare for a gut punch 😪 This book will definitely make you rethink what really matters in life.


— ARC provided by the publisher Harper Collins and an ALC by the publisher Harlequin Audio.

[rei ‧₊˚✩彡]

pre-read:

i think this book will break me. wish me luck!

[Fairuz ᥫ᭡. · Rating 4 out of 5]

BURNOUT GIRLIES, RISE UP! THIS ONE’S FOR US! 🙌🏼

Okay, so picture this: You’ve spent your entire life being second best—like, you’re always invited to the show but never get the spotlight. And then BOOM 💥, you literally become the golden child you’ve been compared to forever. That’s Jenna Chen’s life now, and oh boy, it’s chaos.





First of all, Jenna? GIRL, I FEEL YOU. She’s like the human embodiment of Taylor Swift’s “This Is Me Trying” 🎶—perfectionist, tired, and desperate for validation. Watching her struggle between “I’m not good enough” and “Why am I like this?” hurt my soul in all the best ways 😭. And honestly? She’s so real. Jealous, self-doubting, and kinda messy—but who isn’t?

And then there’s AARON CAI, the softest, most golden boy ever. 💛 Seriously, can I manifest someone like him IRL? He sees Jenna, even when she’s trying to be someone else. Childhood friends to lovers? ✔️ Supportive book boyfriend energy? ✔️ Lowkey the backbone of this story? DOUBLE CHECK. I just wanted to wrap him in a blanket and protect him forever. 🥹

The body-swap-but-not-really plot? WILD. It’s more “Oh no, I’m erasing my own existence” existential dread. It made me think about how easy it is to romanticize someone else’s life without seeing the cracks. Jessica’s “perfect” life? Yeah, turns out, it’s not all sunshine and Ivy League dreams.

What I loved:
✨ The exploration of academic pressure. The relatability was off the charts. 📚
✨ Jenna’s journey from envy to self-acceptance. Growth? We love to see it! 🌱
✨ The romance. SWOON. Honestly, Aaron carried me through the angst like a pro. 😌
✨ Ann Liang’s writing—smooth, addictive, and just the right amount of gut-punchy.

What I didn’t love:
🌀 The world-building was a little fuzzy. Like, where are we again? Give me something to ground the story!
🌀 I needed more of Jessica’s perspective—what’s going on in her head during all this?

But y’all, the ending?? 😭 It broke me and healed me at the same time. Jenna’s realization that she is enough and doesn’t need to be Jessica to shine? UGH, SO GOOD.

Tropes you’ll love:
✧ Childhood friends to lovers 💕
✧ Academic rivals (but lowkey) 📖
✧ Body swap gone wrong 🌀
✧ Self-discovery arc ✨
✧ Golden boy x insecure girl 🌟

Final thoughts: If you’ve ever felt like you’re running a race you can’t win, this book will wreck you—in the best way. 🥲 Jenna Chen, I see you, and I am you.

Read this if you love:
🎓 Dark academia vibes with a pinch of magic
🎨 Flawed but lovable characters

Now, excuse me while I replay “mirrorball” and cry about academic validation all over again. 🥹

Image credits: Pinterest

[Keya · Rating 4 out of 5]

🎶Mirrorball by Taylor Swift🎶

You ever have that sinking feeling that you worked so hard for something, but still fail to get the result you expected? It's horrible, right? Well, that is practically the life of our main character. Jenna, just can't seem to get her life right no matter how much hardwork she puts...endless nights with no sleeps, hours in the library, but nothing can make her like her cousin, Jessica Chen. Jessica is a star model student, perfect academic score, perfect athlete, famous, beautiful, her shelves aligned with trophies. She gets whatever she wants.

And Jenna has only one wish.
To be Jessica Chen.

And consider this as the universe's humor but it all actually comes true. One day, she does wake up in Jessica's body but nothing is as it seems. Dealing with extreme pressure and uncovering secrets her cousin has been hiding...it's quite a ride.

Honestly, if you ask me, as plot-wise, it's pretty average. Wishing on a shooting star? a very over-used concept. And the thing that intrigued me most, the 'secret' Jessica was trying to hide, it wasn't that jaw-dropping or big anyway. BUT...

That's not why I like Ann Liang so much. It's the way she writes, the way she makes you feel. You go through everything the main character goes through...the joy, the heartbreak, the happiness, the guilt. And I absolutely ate it all up!!!

~~The constant pressure of being an academic overachiever, the need of academic validation, the high of any achievement and how quick it takes for it to fade away, the constant cycle of trying and trying to prove yourself over and over again, with even more eyes on you each time. One mistake, and everything goes away. Those unappreciated sleepless nights of sweat and blood that no one sees. The constant burden of everyone's expectations of you to be better and best.~~

It's just...a lot. And I felt it with this book. Felt each and every word. And damn, did it hurt 😭 Its a feeling you can't really convey but the way this author puts it on paper...just amazing. Definitely recommend!

***

Randomly decided to start this and am absolutely binging this so far 🤭🤭

***

OMG THIS COVERRR- I am gagging.
Also not the author saying this is one of the saddest books she has ever written 😭🤚

[juju (hiatus) ｡&#x169b9;°‧ · Rating 5 out of 5]

gang that was so good

[niyya نية · Rating 5 out of 5]

̨ ╭╯ꗃ 04. 14. 25 ˚﹒

︵࣪ ˖ ໒꒱ post-read

╰› um did i really finish this book in 4 hours DURING school? yes, yes i did. wowza guys im telling u ann liang never disappoints, this book lowk hit hard and i'm not THAT big on academic validation like others even if i really do want it. this made me see and empathize the perspective of a lot of people that i love and it makes me really, really sad actually 🙁

̨ ╭╯ꗃ 04. 14. 25 ˚﹒

︵࣪ ˖ ໒꒱ pre-read

╰› to my academic validation girlies, you know who you are 💗

------------------------------------------------
T-T-T-THE COVER??? HELLO?? ON MY KNEES FROM AWE

[rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

꒰ pre-read - finished 01/29/2025 ꒱ ⊹

oh my days this was another ann liang BANGER. i giggled. i cried. i kicked my feet like the annoying incessant aaron cai obsessed schoolgirl that i am. i felt all the emotions.

review to come 🧸🤍💐

꒰ pre-read - started 01/28/2025 ꒱ ⊹

literally starting this immediately. i have a feeling this book is gonna hit a little too close to home. and ann liang never disappoints, so here i come !! words cannot describe my excitement 🥹🥹

[Lia Carstairs · Rating 3 out of 5]

i won't lie. the only reason i was especially excited to read this was because the title was my friend's name🫣

anyways this was a pretty solid read! im not too much of a YA contemporary girl anymore but this was still overall very entertaining for its genre and had really beautiful messages. i think i just needed to care more about the characters? i could relate to some moments and i felt so bad for the jenna and jessica, but not super emotionally invested (like i need to be for a book to get more than 3 stars. though i loved the development they each had! the romance was kinda eh, like aaron for sure made some super sweet gestures but nothing to make me swoon. also i guessed the ending from the 2nd chapter so the twists didn't really surprise me.

overall, definitely a fast-paced and enjoyable read. (but i still like 'this time it's real' more)


Thank you HarperCollins for gifting me an ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review!

___________________

the fact that this is my friend's exact name and she loves art and is in a cutthroat program & school??? this is scarily accurate and she gets to be in a dark academia setting?? jealous IM SO EXCITED

get to see how this book predicts her future too hehe

[patrycja ୨୧ ‧₊˚ · Rating 1 out of 5]

— 1.5 stars ⟡ ݁₊ .

﹙ 𖧷 ﹚"We turn pain into a story, because then it has a purpose. Then, we reason, there was a point to it all along. But sometimes pain is just pain, and there’s nothing particularly noble about clinging to it." ︵⠀⊹

‿ ⟡ my thoughts ◌Ⳋ𝅄

this was...disappointing. if I were to describe this book in two words, I'd settle on painfully boring. im not quite sure, if i've ever read as uneventful book in my entire life before. like nothing really happened here, so i was bored out of my mind for most of the time. what bothered me the most and just didn't resonate with me, was the way of thinking that if you don't get into harvard or any other ivy league school, means you suck. no, babe. it's not like that. the acceptance rate is literally around 5%, so many EXCELLENT students don't get in. that's just life, and we have to make peace with it. also, there's nothing to be ashamed of going to a school that isn't an ivy league one. it's education that matters, and not the prestige. and it felt like this book undermined the true value of education, reducing it only to its prestige, which was upsetting because it shouldn't have been presented this way.

‿ ⟡ characters ◌Ⳋ𝅄

⊹ jenna chen

she's the worst fmc ever written by ann liang. while she was relatable to some extent, I didn't like how fixated she got on being like jessica. what she didn't seem to notice was that nothing easy comes with being the best student in school. the pressure and high expectations that come with it are exhausting and unbearable in the long run, and it took her long enough to realize that jessica's life wasn't as great as it was made out to be. some of jenna's decisions were pretty dumb, that they actually made me feel smart.

⊹ aaron cai

so...he was okay! nothing particularly stood out about him, but he was alright. he did have some traits that I really value in people–i liked how openly he talked about his feelings towards jenna, and was eager to help her to come back to her old self and realize that she was amazing on her own way and didn't have to stay in jessica's body to be loved and appreciated by others. i think, he kind of carried this book singlehandedly on his shoulders, but even that wasn't enough to make it more enjoyable (though, i'm giving this 0.5 for him and only him)

⊹ jessica chen

tbh, if she had been explored better, she could've been a really interesting character. her potential was wasted, and while she could've been the only one to stand out here, we barely got to know her. we only got a mere insight into her character—mostly into how much she had struggled with meeting everyone's expectations and how she didn't want to be the "perfect" jessica anymore, and i think that's what made her feel somehow real.

⊹ aaron & jenna

just five words. the romance did not deliver.

[yve ۶ৎ (ia) · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️ 4/5
"𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵. 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦. 𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦."

ok this was perfect. but i'm starting to feel like ms. ann liang installed a secret mic into my brain to hear all my thoughts because why did she write a book about me ???? jk jk 🤣

I Am Not Jessica Chen explored identity, self-worth, and the expectations being weighed down upon oneself. Jenna, who always felt overshadowed and invisible, suddenly wakes up one day in the body of her all-so-successful and perfect cousin, Jessica Chen. Suddenly, she has everything she's ever dreamed of: intelligence, admiration, and a seemingly perfect life. Not until she realizes that with perfection, comes with a greater price.

⊹₊⟡⋆ Ann Liang's masterful crafting of the characters of this book felt too close like home. This was one of my most anticipated reads of the year and immediately purchased it when our local bookstore had it. For all the girlies who thinks they're "average" among other people, here's an online hug from me to you. 🫂

ᯓᡣ𐭩 𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙨
♡ 𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗺
♡ 𝗮𝗰𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲𝘀
♡ 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆
♡ 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀
♡ 𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙩𝙮𝙡𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙩
- There is a comforting familiarity in her writing, as if she was inviting us to walk alongside her characters and experience their journeys firsthand. Additionally, I love how she writes her FMCs with seemingly the same characteristics, but different situations. As someone who always harbored the wish to become someone else-- especially while surrounded by cousins who have achieved so much, I found myself seeing so much of my own desires and insecurities reflected in Jenna. Her longing to escape mediocrity, to trade places even for a day with someone she looks up to, felt all too real.

Liang also perfectly captured the sting of comparison and the weight of expectations. Her portrayal of mediocrity isn't just relatable, it's almost as though she's reached into the depths of everything I've ever felt and laid it out beautifully on the book. While I did enjoy this book, I wish this was written in a dual POV with Jessica's perspective, as I believe this could have added an intriguing layer to the story, offering glimpses into her world and perhaps more complexity into the existing narrative of Jenna's.

The romance, on the other hand, wasn't the central focus of this book. However, it was still heartening to see a touch of it woven into the narrative. Aaron Cai is simply the best-- charming and real without overshadowing Jenna's personal journey.

Overall, this was a really really great read, and it's also very relatable. This is the perfect book when you want to embrace your story with all its imperfections. This is truly a masterpiece.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ 𝙅𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘼𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙣
- With Jenna, I felt as if we were the same person. Every internal conflict, every thought, every action felt as if we shared the same experiences. I really love her and she deserves the world.
- Aaron Cai, you are indeed a gentleman in a world full of boys. I cannot say anything more. You are perfect.

𝙦𝙪𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙞 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 ♡

"𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙚𝙡, 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮, 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙤 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙖𝙙."

"𝙎𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙩, 𝙗𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙙𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙩 𝙖 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚, 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮, 𝙣𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙖𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙩."

"𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙧𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙬𝙖𝙮, 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙣."

"𝙄 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣."
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𝙥𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙
guess who finally got this book on her hands !? 💌 buddy read with my bb ashlyn 💐💗

i love ann liang and this seems very convincing (and heartbreaking) also fingers crossed i don't cry like a baby because the appreciation page alr got to me....

[Ri ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.75 stars

“You know, I used to have this theory that if I wanted something badly enough, the universe would make sure to keep it just out of my reach. Like a cruel joke, or a trick. But . . . maybe the cruelest trick the universe can play on us is to give us exactly what we wish for.”

I wish I could travel back ten years and gift my younger self all the books written by Ann Liang because she just gets me. The story feels so raw and real, focusing on the struggles students face with failure, success, and the pressure to be the best.

Liang was brutally honest about everything in this book, and I felt stripped to the bone while reading this story. It’s as if she can see into my soul and then puts it into her books. I feel vulnerable and exposed reading her work, but in a healing way. I hold a special place for Liang’s stories in my heart because, even though I’m no longer that teenage girl striving for the best academic results, her writing heals parts of me that never felt validated or comforted. She’s an incredible and exceptional writer.

“That’s the problem. I’m not sad because I don’t love life enough, but because I love life too much. I always want more of it.”

Jenna Chen, is the second-best student, always struggling to be the best, putting in multiple efforts to achieve success and perfection. Jessica Chen, on the other hand, the stunning girl with a golden future ahead of her, has paved the way for her success through her extraordinary intelligence. From the outside, her life appears effortless and luxurious, filled with success that seems to come easily. Both characters resonated with me deeply, and I loved how real and vulnerable they felt to read about. Jessica’s achievements and superiority were often seen as the definition of an exemplary scholar. Jenna has spent years living in her cousin Jessica’s shadow, always striving and yearning to be just like her, but never quite meeting the high standard Jessica set.

Jenna always wished to be like Jessica, and that one wish upon a falling star led her into a life she thought she wanted, only to discover the challenges and sacrifices that came with it. She navigated her personal struggles, confronting her insecurities and sense of disillusionment, especially through the lens of Jessica’s version of the perfect student life. However, Jessica’s life, from the outside, was merely a myth, a dream that didn’t hold up in reality. Watching Jenna finally accept her own life, with all its flaws and imperfections, was a deeply emotional yet insightful journey.

“I miss it all. I miss my life, because even when I felt like I had nothing, I had everything. I just didn’t know it at the time. You never do, until it’s in hindsight.”

Aaron Cai, the male protagonist, was such a kind, supportive, and sweet character. I adored how he was always there for Jenna, especially when things got complicated with her soul in Jessica’s body.

“You came over and stood next to me. And suddenly—suddenly I didn’t feel alone. I realized I would never have to be alone again, if you were there.”

The romance between Aaron and Jenna was subtle yet perfect, with just the right touch of young love and longing for a second chance. Their connection was sweet and heartfelt, and I loved their friendship, how they cared for each other in the smallest, most meaningful ways.

“When he was around, the world seemed safe, the kind of place that was worth everything, all the little disappointments and injustices and chips at my pride. The kind of place that could be beautiful if we really tried.”

The stories of Jenna and Jessica depicted the beautiful, profound and transformative journey of self-awareness and self-acceptance. I also loved reading about Jessica’s struggles, not only from Jenna’s perspective but also from her own, seeing how she was tired of the relentless pursuit of success and optimism and longed to simply be a normal person for once, outside the expectations placed on her.

The comparison between life and academics highlighted an important truth: everyone has something they wish to change about their life, but it’s not until we step into the shoes of those we admire or envy that we realize the challenges they face. Nothing and no one is truly perfect. We often get lost in the pursuit of perfection and success, believing these are the only things that define our worth in the real world. In reality, this is just a perfectly constructed mirage—a dream designed to make people feel miserable and discontented.

This is easily my favourite book by Ann Liang. It’s more than just a story; it’s a reflection of what so many people go through. It reminds us that the pinnacle of achievements isn’t everything and that failure or being underachieving doesn’t define our true worth. It’s a book I wish I’d had during my own school years. It’s healing, thoughtful, and something I believe everyone should read.

Many thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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I LOVED IT I LOVED IT I LOVED IT! rtc near release date.

it's giving "this is me trying" vibes and i am here for it 😗