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When Trying to Return Home: Stories

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A dazzling debut collection spanning a century of Black American and Afro-Latino life in Puerto Rico, Pittsburgh, Louisiana, Miami, and beyond--and an evocative meditation on belonging, the meaning of home, and how we secure freedom on our own terms

Profoundly moving and powerful, the stories in When Trying to Return Home dig deeply into the question of belonging. A young woman is torn between overwhelming love for her mother and the need to break free from her damaging influence during a desperate and disastrous attempt to rescue her brother from foster care. A man, his wife, and his mistress each confront the borders separating love and hate, obligation and longing, on the eve of a flight to San Juan. A college student grapples with the space between chivalry and machismo in a tense encounter involving a nun. And in 1930s Louisiana, a woman attempting to find a place to call her own chances upon an old friend at a bar and must reckon with her troubled past.

Forming a web of desires and consequences that span generations, McCauley's Black American and Afro-Puerto Rican characters remind us that these voices have always been here, occupying the very center of American life--even if we haven't always been willing to listen.

272 pages, Hardcover

First published February 7, 2023

45 people are currently reading
5402 people want to read

About the author

Jennifer Maritza McCauley

3 books52 followers

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5 stars
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162 (32%)
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208 (41%)
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41 (8%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 117 reviews
Profile Image for BookOfCinz.
1,601 reviews3,700 followers
April 16, 2023
In Jennifer Maritza McCauley debut collection When Trying to Return Home we meet a cast of characters- mother in the midst of stealing her son back from a foster home, a nun in the process of leaving the convent, a son finding out the man living on the street is his brother, a father visiting Puetro Rico to see his twin girls and baby mother who happens to be his wife sister. Yes, the cast of characters are wide all living in Puerto Rico, Pittsburgh, Louisiana, Miami, and beyond.

In the collection McCauley tries to answer the question of where is home, who is home and how to get back to what feels like home. There are a few stories I absolutely loved and I will remember but then there were others that felt very meh. I have said this before, writing short stories is an art form and I think a lot of the stories left me wanting.

What I will say is, McCauley can write, her prose feels full and makes you feel nostalgic. I look forward to what she writes next.
Profile Image for luce (cry bebè's back from hiatus).
1,555 reviews5,750 followers
March 3, 2023
The thing is, Mama never loved neat. Her love was spread out, sloppy. It slathered everyone in her path and she didn’t care how it hit or who it hurt, as long as she was giving it.


When Trying to Return Home is yet another collection of short stories that begins with a bang but peters out with each subsequent story. McCauley’s writing is certainly accomplished enough as she is able to render the setting of her stories, some of which take place in Puerto Rico others in the midwest and across the southern states. The characters however failed to come fully into focus, however, grounded in reality their circumstances were. We have a lot of sleazy boys and men who ultimately came across as rather one-note. There is also a story about infidelity that relies on a rather gimmicky literary device that doesn’t make the experiences of each person involved more realistic or vivid. The first story instead was poignant and atmospheric: we follow a young woman who finds herself unable to extricate herself from her mother’s influence. We are made to understand that the love they feel for one another is messy and that the mother uses her daughter’s love for her, even if it means putting her daughter at risk. I liked how nonjudgmental the author is when exploring parenting, motherhood in particular. In the remainder of the stories the author continues to explore the experiences of characters who are Afro-Puerto Rican and find themselves having odds with their own desires or having to navigate the expectations and desires of the people in their lives. While this is by no means a bad/weak debut I would be lying if I said that it was particularly memorable.
Profile Image for Stephanie.
619 reviews66 followers
February 1, 2023
ARC audiobook provided in exchange for an honest review.

I really loved the narrators take on all the characters in this book! All the accents were perfect and I enjoyed all the parts in Spanish, it really brought these short stories to life for me! This book was very easy to connect with many aspects of, and I enjoyed the authors writing and storytelling immensely. I love how certain characters were intertwined in other stories but later on told their point of views. I would definitely recommend to anyone, as I feel there’s something in these stories that most would be able to learn from or relate to them.
Profile Image for Danielle | Dogmombookworm.
381 reviews
January 14, 2023
WHEN TRYING TO RETURN HOME |

When home is being choked up by a controlling mother, who's coercing you to do something that will hurt you, because she's a mother and needs to protect and have all her children with her.

When home is being not able to speak because everyone you meet on the street, the curves of their face, the sounds of their tongue remind you of your mother and home and the ache of where you are.

When home is the new space you have to carve out because the whole town is hoping that you'll be the one to make it. And all you have left are short lived memories of a family you met and lost in one day.

When home is the projection that you cast against your mind's wall rather than the person you're actually being because it's easier to believe your own lie.

When home is playing the part your family needs.

When home is the hot release of restrained tears with no witnesses.

When home is a place you can never escape from.

When home is what you've learned to settle with, when you're a woman.

When home is letting go.

....
When home is intertwining stories that braid together, separately but united as one.

Loved this collection!
Profile Image for 2TReads.
905 reviews52 followers
February 22, 2023
“Baby girl, all women bear the sin of Eve, the sin of loving things that can only be held in a hand. Some women struggle and win against they evil, but I don’t believe you one of them few. And since you are like my blood kin, I say careful. Careful, careful.” –Booey

With these stories, McCauley tackles the meaning of home, where it can be found, and what it takes to find it. Her characters all struggle with their experiences and existence, questioning their actions, relationships, and characteristics.

Stories that evaluate why we make certain choices, where the true monster resides, self-serving ideals, and coming to terms with our own worth. Every story had a message and a question, where eventual recognition and acknowledgment of identity played a role in developing not only the story but the characters.

These are the stories I love to read, even if all aren't crafted in the same manner, there is always a lesson there, a speculative reflection, and an awakening awareness.

These stories were all about the journey to finding home through family, identity, and experiences. McCauley's take on Little Red Riding Hood in the story Last Saints has got to be one of the most creative and different I've ever read. That story alone definitely influenced my rating.
Profile Image for Tina.
1,070 reviews177 followers
February 7, 2023
As you know I love short stories and I really enjoyed WHEN TRYING TO RETURN HOME by Jennifer Maritza McCauley. I absolutely loved the element of suspense in the opening story Torsion. It’s about a teen girl who’s trying to help her mother rescue her brother from foster care while grappling with her feelings of love and the need to free herself from the damaging relationship. Within these nine stories we travel to Puerto Rico, New York and Louisiana with Black American and Afro-Puerto Rican characters. I liked how we would get both male and female perspectives and the strong focus on motherhood and family. I also loved how two of the stories Good Guys and Liberation Day are interconnected. I switched between the print book and the audiobook and I loved the dual narrators Psalm Morant and Andréa Agosto. Such a great debut collection!!
.
Thank you to Counterpoint Press for my gifted review copy!
Profile Image for Chelsea.
856 reviews98 followers
February 9, 2023
Rating: 3.5
The first two were the best in my opinion. There were a couple that I didn't care for and a couple that I wish were a little longer, but other than that, this was a pretty good collection of stories.
Profile Image for Nadia Jonesy.
677 reviews12 followers
February 1, 2023
Thanks to NetGalley and Catapult, Counterpoint Press, and Soft Skull Press, Counterpoint for allowing me to read this early. I am not really a short story reader but when they hover around areas of interest as well as multicultural, I like to give them a chance. These stories were quite good and had a good amount of detail for short stories. The talked about grief, love and love loss, reconciliation and more. Good stories that will keep you reading.
Profile Image for Laura.
1,000 reviews
February 6, 2023
I was very impressed by this collection of connected short stories. I felt like I got to know these unique characters well. The writing is lively and often made me chuckle, especially during the story narrated by one of many college guys infatuated with large crucifix-wearing Estelle.
Profile Image for Elaine.
Author 1 book3 followers
November 2, 2022
I loved the premise but sadly, the book itself left me feeling flat. I found the characters extremely difficult to relate to.
Profile Image for The Michigan Daily Arts.
74 reviews18 followers
Read
February 14, 2023
Jennifer Maritza McCauley’s debut collection of short stories begins with a bang: Claudia is helping her mother, Phoenix, kidnap her little brother who was taken by Child Youth Services. This first story, “Torsion,” reminded me of fast-paced, tense action scenes like the introduction of “Baby Driver.” I held my breath as Claudia contemplated deserting her mother’s plan and leaving her family behind, fighting her desires to save herself and to “pay back (her mother) for all of her love.” The final choice Claudia makes speaks to the principal theme of “When Trying to Return Home”: the toxicity and beauty of love.

Maritza McCauley explores the dark sides of both familial and romantic love, with specific regard to “the question of belonging,” through her Black American and Afro-Puerto Rican characters. The title of the work comes from her 2016 poem of the same name which speaks to Martiza McCauley’s identity as an Afro-Latina woman and writer: “In the morning, I leave a panaderia on SW 137th / and a Miami browngirl sees my face / and says de dónde eres Miami or Not? / And I say Not, because I live in this blue city now / but she means where are your parents from.”

This poem is also seen in a short story of the same title. Maritza McCauley borrows lines from her poem, formatting them in the third person instead of first: “Andra could tell her the history of her family gods. Say that her family gods are rainforest-hot, cropland-warm, dark and blazing with every-colored skin. Their mouths sound like all kinds of countries. She could tell her those gods lived wild and holy in her, in white and blue cities where her skin is remembered or forgotten, in cities where she was always one thing, or from anywhere.” I’m glad Maritza McCauley found a new space for these words, given their effortless beauty and almost melancholic tinge.

Daily Arts Writer Lillian Pearce can be reached at pearcel@umich.edu.

Read the full review here: https://www.michigandaily.com/arts/bo...
Profile Image for Hannah (hngisreading).
748 reviews925 followers
March 16, 2023
A collection of stories that span decades, all featuring black/Afro-Latinx characters. Little slices of life. Some characters appear in each other’s stories, which was fun. I definitely had my favorites (the first story knocked it out of the park for me!). A few of the stories were a bit boring to me, and tooooo long. There is a lot of telling rather than showing. Overall though, 3 ⭐️ and I look forward to reading more from the author!
1,299 reviews27 followers
November 28, 2023
Overall this collection started and ended strong for me, but I didn’t enjoy the middle stories as much. My favorite from the collection were Torsion, La Espera and Liberation Day. With occasional character overlap and connected themes of sense of belonging and connection, as well as overall Black and Puerto Rican experiences in the US, this was a solid collection that I hadn’t heard of until the Aspen Words longlist came out a few weeks ago. I’m glad I read it, though it probably won’t be on my best books of the year. I can see the influences of Deesha Philyaw (and The Secret Lives of Church Ladies) who McCauley thanks in the acknowledgments.
Profile Image for Sharon Velez Diodonet.
338 reviews64 followers
March 9, 2023
"The thing is, Mama never loved neat. Her love was spread out, sloppy. It slathered everyone in her path and she didn't care how it hit or who it hit, as long as she was giving it.

This month's #ReadPuertoRican book club pick is When Trying to Return Home by Jennifer Maritza McCauley. The author will be chatting with us Thursday 3/30 at 8pm EST. (Link in my bio if you want to join us)

When Trying to Return Home is a collection of stories that highlight Black & Afro-Puerto Rican characters grappling with the idea of home. What makes home? Is it the people you love, are related to or covet from afar? Is home the language your tongue wrestles with? Is home a mother's love that cuts so deep it may become toxic? Is home a place you always return to or try to forget and move on from? Is home a love you will never admit to? These are just some of the questions that I thought about when I finished this collection.

Torsion is the story that sticks with me still. It was propulsive and captivating and the tension had me holding my breath. My heart was beating out of my chest. Mother-daughter stories always grip me but this one had me in a chokehold right away. The familiarity of The Missing One and the navigating of identity in When Trying to Return Home sealed the deal for me. The stories are raw and honest and full of heart.

The Afro-Boricua Experience is not often captured on the page but McCauley put to words so many of my own thoughts and feelings. She illuminates what it feels like to automatically be judged and put in a box because most people still struggle with intersectionality and understanding that humans can be so many things at once. She takes you to pockets of American life that are often ignored and made to feel invisible. Her characters face challenges that may seem unfamiliar to many but to every day Black Americans and Puerto Ricans these stories feel like home. These stories felt like shout outs to places most people don't want to visit and people that others refuse to see. These characters showed the complexities of their life experiences even in these short glimpses. It was a sweet treat for some of these stories to interconnect.

McCauley is an author to watch. Her writing is poetic and moving. She leaves you wanting more. Some of these stories I could see turn into novels. She tackled the concept of home in creative new ways. There is something magical that happens when poets write novels and short stories. McCauley definitely casts a spell with her words. Thank you @counterpointpress for the gifted copy
Profile Image for Katie.
114 reviews
December 11, 2023
So good!! Great collection of thoughtfully connected short stories
Profile Image for Leah M.
1,625 reviews60 followers
February 4, 2023
Rounded to 3.5 stars.

Thank you to libro.fm for providing me with an ALC of this audiobook. I am providing my honest opinion voluntarily.

Although I'm not always partial to short stories, I felt like this one had a lot of potential. And it paid off - some of the stories were really great, while others just didn't resonate as strongly with me. But the good ones absolutely made this collection.

McCauley really delves into what the meaning of home is, and how it isn't necessarily a place, but it can be a person, a family, an area, or wherever you feel like you're seen and feel welcome to be yourself the most.

Each of the stories are so different - they range in location, time period, characters, but the theme of home runs through each of them. In many of them, characters from one story are carried over, and I loved seeing the story through different eyes, viewing how their lives differ and converge, and their experiences in different areas or times of their lives.

Despite the few stories that I didn't connect with as strongly, this is a good collection, and I loved the way different narrators voiced various parts, making it feel more like a full cast. I strongly recommend the audiobook version of this book.
Profile Image for Amber.
779 reviews161 followers
February 6, 2023
This short story collection follows a cast of Black Americans and Afro-Latinx living in Puerto Rico, Pittsburgh, Louisiana, Miami, and beyond. With quiet yet moving prose, McCauley takes the readers on a journey of seeking belonging and securing freedom.

As with most anthologies, some stories left an imprint on me while others didn't. In Torsion, a single mother kidnaps her son from foster care because home is defined by bloodline, even if it smothers her kids. In When Trying to Return Home, a woman who lost her mom feels disconnected from her Latinx heritage and is afraid to speak Spanish; home is where her mother is, and she's lost that forever. In Liberation Day, a nun leaves her covenant and moves in with her sister, for home is not where god is but where love blossoms.

With powerful storytelling, McCauley asks the readers: What is home? How do we find and build one? How do we return?

Thank you to Libro.fm for the ALC.
2,273 reviews49 followers
February 2, 2023
Beautiful cover drew me right in.to the emotional moving short stories.Each story full of so much life feelings and raw feelings.Really well written I enjoyed each of the stories an author I will be following.#netgalley #catapult
Profile Image for Amanda.
280 reviews1 follower
January 27, 2023
Thank you Netgalley for providing a digital ARC.

When Trying to Return Home is a collection of short stories that focus on Black American and Afro-Latino experiences and an overarching theme of home and belonging. The writing was strong and I loved how these different stories were held together in this collection.
Profile Image for elise (the petite punk).
552 reviews132 followers
April 11, 2023
Thank you Libro.fm for the ALC!

This was alright. However, it suffered from the thing that most short story collections are vulnerable to, which is the fact that not all stories were equally likable. I loved the first story or two, but then afterwards, it became quite difficult for me to finish this as I lost interest. I found myself listening to the audiobook only to finish it without being fully engaged.
Profile Image for AMAO.
1,713 reviews47 followers
February 13, 2023
When Trying to Return Home: Stories by Jennifer Maritza McCauley
Published February 7th 2023


<3 This collection of short stories were OK enough read. I felt the very first short story should be made into a novel. I was totally sucked in and thought the other stories would be just as exciting. I am sure they will appeal to others but way after the completion of this audiobook, the first short story of the mother daughter crime duo still have wondering where is the rest of that story. That story alone was worth the read.

#WhenTryingtoReturnHome #NetGalley #SHORTSTORIES #AAF


Profoundly moving and powerful, the stories in this collection dig deeply into the question of belonging. A young woman is torn between overwhelming love for her mother and the need to break free from her damaging influence during a desperate and disastrous attempt to rescue her brother from foster care. A man, his wife, and his mistress each confront the borders separating love and hate, obligation and longing, on the eve of a flight to San Juan. A college student grapples with the space between chivalry and machismo in a tense encounter involving a nun. And in 1930s Louisiana, a woman attempting to find a place to call her own chances upon an old friend at a bar and must reckon with her troubled past. Forming a web of desires and consequences that span generations, Jennifer Maritza McCauley's Black American and Afro–Puerto Rican characters remind us that these voices have always been here, occupying the very center of American life—even if we haven't always been willing to listen.
119 reviews
February 16, 2023
‘When Trying to Return Home’ is a collection of short stories that focus on Black American and Afro-Latino experiences with a theme of trying to find home & belonging. I really enjoyed getting an insight into these stories of Black American & Afro-Latino people.
Profile Image for sarah wertis.
67 reviews
April 4, 2024
Una mezcla de historias interconectadas que invita a la reflexión. ¿Qué es el hogar, y qué lealtad, si es que hay alguna, le debemos a las personas y los lugares que nos forman? Me siento particularmente afortunada de haber podido encontrar hogares en las personas y lugares que amo.
(read in one afternoon, sitting in front of the Milstein Desktops, experiencing lower lumbar back pain)
Profile Image for Vivienne Strauss.
Author 1 book28 followers
February 20, 2023
A wonderful collection of stories, though really, I would love to see another collection just about Mavis and Estelle, theirs were my favorites and the first one, Torsion. The Missing One broke my heart.
Profile Image for Sarah Martin.
399 reviews113 followers
January 23, 2024
The first story had me gripped but the others didn’t. Pls note I am kind of in a reading slump so the problem is likely me.
Profile Image for Stephanie Dargusch Borders.
978 reviews28 followers
January 24, 2024
Phenomenal debut. I started this collection after finishing Louise Kennedy’s equally amazing debut collection so I in no way expected another knock out so soon but here we are.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 117 reviews

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