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The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner
Grace Tame has never walked on middle ground.
From a young age, her life was defined by uncertainty - by trauma and strength, sadness and hope, terrible lows and wondrous highs. As a teenager she found the courage to speak up after experiencing awful and ongoing child sexual abuse. This fight to find her voice would not be her last.
In 2021 Grace stepped squarely into the public eye as the Australian of the Year, and was the catalyst for a tidal wave of conversation and action. Australians from all walks of life were inspired and moved by her fire and passion. Here she was using her voice, and encouraging others to use theirs too.
The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner is Grace's story, in Grace's words, on Grace's terms. Like Grace, it is sharply intelligent, deeply felt and often blisteringly funny. And, as with all her work, it offers a constructive and optimistic vision for a better future for all of us.
From a young age, her life was defined by uncertainty - by trauma and strength, sadness and hope, terrible lows and wondrous highs. As a teenager she found the courage to speak up after experiencing awful and ongoing child sexual abuse. This fight to find her voice would not be her last.
In 2021 Grace stepped squarely into the public eye as the Australian of the Year, and was the catalyst for a tidal wave of conversation and action. Australians from all walks of life were inspired and moved by her fire and passion. Here she was using her voice, and encouraging others to use theirs too.
The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner is Grace's story, in Grace's words, on Grace's terms. Like Grace, it is sharply intelligent, deeply felt and often blisteringly funny. And, as with all her work, it offers a constructive and optimistic vision for a better future for all of us.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published September 27, 2022
336 people are currently reading
3108 people want to read
About the author
Grace Tame
5 books44 followersGrace Tame is an Australian activist and advocate for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. She was named 2021 Australian of the Year.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 367 reviews
February 6, 2023
I hate to say it because I’m such a fan of Grace Tame but I didn’t love this book. I found it really hard to follow, the story was not linear and so many anecdotes were just a one sentence recap without any depth or detail. Then onto the next brief moment of her history which could be five years in the past or fifteen years in the future.
A lot of waxing lyrical about every person she’s come across and how much they meant to her and how much they saved her life. Could have just written them each a heartfelt card but yeah I guess an entire ode to every cousin in the entire family tree published in a book for the entire nation to read is another way to do it.
Tame is a force to be reckoned with, but whether due to modesty or mismanaged edits, this book doesn’t even begin to credit her with the epic task she undertook and achieved in removing the gag orders from victims of sexual abuse.
I do hope she writes more and I look forward to seeing her writing mature and deepen over time.
A lot of waxing lyrical about every person she’s come across and how much they meant to her and how much they saved her life. Could have just written them each a heartfelt card but yeah I guess an entire ode to every cousin in the entire family tree published in a book for the entire nation to read is another way to do it.
Tame is a force to be reckoned with, but whether due to modesty or mismanaged edits, this book doesn’t even begin to credit her with the epic task she undertook and achieved in removing the gag orders from victims of sexual abuse.
I do hope she writes more and I look forward to seeing her writing mature and deepen over time.
October 12, 2022
This was a complex and emotional read, and if you have any idea of the life Grace had led, you know that that was probably to be expected from her first memoir.
I find this a hard memoir to rate and review. In a lot of ways I don't think I enjoyed it. For a lot of reasons. It's a confronting read. Grace doesn't spare you the emotional toll of her past. While she has written her experiences with the teacher that groomed and abused her in a way that is not exactly explicit it's still horrifying and, for some, deeply triggering.
In some ways this memoir feel not quite done. A rendering of a woman still in the process of unpacking both her trauma and her neurodivergence. How she fits into the world and how others fit into hers. The relation of the stars of her universe are not entirely aligned yet, settled into their place. It was a struggle to follow the cast of characters that Grace introduces and how each relates to her greater experience. But her writing is strong, much like her speeches, Grace cuts to the heart of things in ways that are unexpected and effecting. Her reflection of her neurodivergency, trauma and they way both has manifested themselves is stark, vivid and embroidered with a dark humour.
There's an air of unpleasantness reading this. But this isn't supposed to be a pleasant read. It's supposed to be a recognition of evil that often, society turns away from, and how one can display such an iron will and steel spine in the public eye while still struggling privately. It's a portrait of flaws and human infallibility. It's not inspiration porn. It's grounded in reality.
But mostly, it's a lot.
I find this a hard memoir to rate and review. In a lot of ways I don't think I enjoyed it. For a lot of reasons. It's a confronting read. Grace doesn't spare you the emotional toll of her past. While she has written her experiences with the teacher that groomed and abused her in a way that is not exactly explicit it's still horrifying and, for some, deeply triggering.
In some ways this memoir feel not quite done. A rendering of a woman still in the process of unpacking both her trauma and her neurodivergence. How she fits into the world and how others fit into hers. The relation of the stars of her universe are not entirely aligned yet, settled into their place. It was a struggle to follow the cast of characters that Grace introduces and how each relates to her greater experience. But her writing is strong, much like her speeches, Grace cuts to the heart of things in ways that are unexpected and effecting. Her reflection of her neurodivergency, trauma and they way both has manifested themselves is stark, vivid and embroidered with a dark humour.
There's an air of unpleasantness reading this. But this isn't supposed to be a pleasant read. It's supposed to be a recognition of evil that often, society turns away from, and how one can display such an iron will and steel spine in the public eye while still struggling privately. It's a portrait of flaws and human infallibility. It's not inspiration porn. It's grounded in reality.
But mostly, it's a lot.
February 25, 2024
Listening to Grace’s voice telling her tremendously difficult and important story was quite confronting. Having her voice so close to my ear in the audio version was forceful, as she’s unrelenting in her emotional voice (literally). Her voice is so full of emotion as the narrative progresses, it was hard for me to not have an almost physical reaction, as my mind does not always process noise well. So, I was very taken and drawn in by Grace’s life and the events that have made her the person she now is.
There is so much to learn here about her family dynamics, her childhood, her neurodiverse status that was unknown to herself for much of her life. She weaves her story by way of family, upbringing, and all the many characters she has come along the way, a very diverse mix of good and bad people.
And of course, we know through her public story that many bad people, do in fact, walk this earth. She did not ask for this spotlight, and it affected her so much. Not one stone is left unturned here. Grace has travelled the world, has been shaped by her many travels and fellow travellers, literal and otherwise.
She tells of the bad with equal parts eloquence and fire, and explains the make up of child abusers, and their warped sense of whatever it is that makes up this brand of evil. Often blaming the victim. She has been through so much; it’s hard listening when she tells us about people, the public and strangers vilifying her.
This story is full of detail, her whole life laid bare into the most intimate details. I was wondering why she talked about her family so often, but this becomes clear as the story progresses. I loved that she had such a wonderful and supportive network around her.
The author worked 18-20 hour days to complete her book and was not at all interesting in using a ghost writer. This woman shows remarkable strength.
There is much else I could say, including things like The University of Tasmania welcoming Grace’s abuser to the campus to complete his PhD at the same time her mother was studying, in convenient proximity to young students completing work experience, while he sat on gym equipment for two hours watching them. Or for a former Vice Chancellor of this same university himself, being involved in serious sexual misconduct. There are just no words sometimes, but Grace has used hers for such good - and it doesn't stop here. With her fiancé Max, she has created the Grace Tame Foundation.
This book contains many scenes discussing childhood sexual abuse, and the topic in general. Additionally body image and eating disorders. Anyone needing a warning on this please take heed.
There is so much to learn here about her family dynamics, her childhood, her neurodiverse status that was unknown to herself for much of her life. She weaves her story by way of family, upbringing, and all the many characters she has come along the way, a very diverse mix of good and bad people.
And of course, we know through her public story that many bad people, do in fact, walk this earth. She did not ask for this spotlight, and it affected her so much. Not one stone is left unturned here. Grace has travelled the world, has been shaped by her many travels and fellow travellers, literal and otherwise.
She tells of the bad with equal parts eloquence and fire, and explains the make up of child abusers, and their warped sense of whatever it is that makes up this brand of evil. Often blaming the victim. She has been through so much; it’s hard listening when she tells us about people, the public and strangers vilifying her.
This story is full of detail, her whole life laid bare into the most intimate details. I was wondering why she talked about her family so often, but this becomes clear as the story progresses. I loved that she had such a wonderful and supportive network around her.
The author worked 18-20 hour days to complete her book and was not at all interesting in using a ghost writer. This woman shows remarkable strength.
There is much else I could say, including things like The University of Tasmania welcoming Grace’s abuser to the campus to complete his PhD at the same time her mother was studying, in convenient proximity to young students completing work experience, while he sat on gym equipment for two hours watching them. Or for a former Vice Chancellor of this same university himself, being involved in serious sexual misconduct. There are just no words sometimes, but Grace has used hers for such good - and it doesn't stop here. With her fiancé Max, she has created the Grace Tame Foundation.
This book contains many scenes discussing childhood sexual abuse, and the topic in general. Additionally body image and eating disorders. Anyone needing a warning on this please take heed.
January 27, 2023
Wow! That's one word that best summarises my feelings while listening to Grace Tame tell her story.
Grace Tame was thrust into the public eye exactly two years ago when she was named Australian of the Year. (The Australian of the year is a "celebration of the achievements of extraordinary Australians, nominated from eight states and territories in four categories."). At 15, Grace Tame was groomed and raped by her 58-year-old teacher at a private girls' school in Hobart. Eventually the abuser was jailed, but Grace couldn't speak about her experience publicly under Tasmania's gag laws, even though the media and the perpetrator were free to do so. Hello, patriarchy!
Grace was the catalyst for the #LetHerSpeak campaign. Spoiler, the laws were amended. Did I say that she was only 25 years old at the time? So that was a bit of background on Grace.
I thought I already knew quite a bit about her, as I follow her on Twitter and follow politics closely.
Grace is so much more than a victim of child sex abuse. She's so much more than a woman on the spectrum, who also has ADHD. She's fierce, outspoken, blunt, and passionate. She's a fitness freak and a yoga-certified instructor. In her 27 years of life, she's gone through so much. She's also a talented writer and artist. I'm trying hard not to put her on a pedestal (she dislikes that, and I agree with it on principle, but old habits die hard). She takes a good, well-deserved (in my view) swipe at the media machine and how they manipulate and exploit with no regard for people's wellbeing, especially when it comes to traumatised people. She dislikes the ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) show "Better Date Than Never", which is a "reality show" 🙄 where people on the spectrum try to find love. It matched my own views that it's exploitative and cringe - and not because I think all reality shows are vile. (sorry/not sorry I loathe them all).
What else? She addresses people's proclivity to not pay attention to what it's being said but to how it's being said, language and body language policing (who in Australia hasn't had an opinion on her giving the mean eye to our, thank the goddesses, former Prime Minister.)
Interspersed among all the "hot" topics, there are moments of candour, happy memories, adventures and so on. I hope Grace's future is filled with happiness and health.
We need her in the public arena, although I won't begrudge her if she wants/needs to disappear from it.
Grace Tame was thrust into the public eye exactly two years ago when she was named Australian of the Year. (The Australian of the year is a "celebration of the achievements of extraordinary Australians, nominated from eight states and territories in four categories."). At 15, Grace Tame was groomed and raped by her 58-year-old teacher at a private girls' school in Hobart. Eventually the abuser was jailed, but Grace couldn't speak about her experience publicly under Tasmania's gag laws, even though the media and the perpetrator were free to do so. Hello, patriarchy!
Grace was the catalyst for the #LetHerSpeak campaign. Spoiler, the laws were amended. Did I say that she was only 25 years old at the time? So that was a bit of background on Grace.
I thought I already knew quite a bit about her, as I follow her on Twitter and follow politics closely.
Grace is so much more than a victim of child sex abuse. She's so much more than a woman on the spectrum, who also has ADHD. She's fierce, outspoken, blunt, and passionate. She's a fitness freak and a yoga-certified instructor. In her 27 years of life, she's gone through so much. She's also a talented writer and artist. I'm trying hard not to put her on a pedestal (she dislikes that, and I agree with it on principle, but old habits die hard). She takes a good, well-deserved (in my view) swipe at the media machine and how they manipulate and exploit with no regard for people's wellbeing, especially when it comes to traumatised people. She dislikes the ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) show "Better Date Than Never", which is a "reality show" 🙄 where people on the spectrum try to find love. It matched my own views that it's exploitative and cringe - and not because I think all reality shows are vile. (sorry/not sorry I loathe them all).
What else? She addresses people's proclivity to not pay attention to what it's being said but to how it's being said, language and body language policing (who in Australia hasn't had an opinion on her giving the mean eye to our, thank the goddesses, former Prime Minister.)
Interspersed among all the "hot" topics, there are moments of candour, happy memories, adventures and so on. I hope Grace's future is filled with happiness and health.
We need her in the public arena, although I won't begrudge her if she wants/needs to disappear from it.
February 1, 2023
Grace Tame is an incredible person, however this book was terrible and totally uninspiring.
The writing is so chaotic and disjointed that I couldn’t follow any narrative—if there even was a full one, so many half-stories and random anecdotes! Grace Tame has a wealth of stories to tell—not just about her abuse—and yet, she focussed this book almost entirely on tidbits about her cousins or random strangers she briefly met. And, what’s more, she has punctuated her pointless anecdotes with further unrelated social commentary. In one chapter, she starts of with her parent’s divorce, then immediately cuts in with words about Fred Hollows, being a shoestring traveller, Elliot Rodger, a reminder that child abuse is bad, philosophical musings about religion, John Howard’s gun buy-back, another reminder that child abuse is bad, George Pell, not defining yourself by ideologies, Robin Williams dying, conventions of organised religion, John Cleese, before finishing with … more anecdotes of her cousins. Wait, did she ever finish the story about her parent’s divorce???
Even her references to child sex abuse become grating, as she presents her stance against abusers as a novel revelation. Being against abuse isn’t an unconventional take. The entire book is structured like this: reminders that “bad thing is bad” and several iterations of the same story with a different cousin. It makes for a slog.
I would love to read a stronger, structured memoir by Grace Tame in a few years time, as long as she has a decent (and ruthless) editor by her side.
The writing is so chaotic and disjointed that I couldn’t follow any narrative—if there even was a full one, so many half-stories and random anecdotes! Grace Tame has a wealth of stories to tell—not just about her abuse—and yet, she focussed this book almost entirely on tidbits about her cousins or random strangers she briefly met. And, what’s more, she has punctuated her pointless anecdotes with further unrelated social commentary. In one chapter, she starts of with her parent’s divorce, then immediately cuts in with words about Fred Hollows, being a shoestring traveller, Elliot Rodger, a reminder that child abuse is bad, philosophical musings about religion, John Howard’s gun buy-back, another reminder that child abuse is bad, George Pell, not defining yourself by ideologies, Robin Williams dying, conventions of organised religion, John Cleese, before finishing with … more anecdotes of her cousins. Wait, did she ever finish the story about her parent’s divorce???
Even her references to child sex abuse become grating, as she presents her stance against abusers as a novel revelation. Being against abuse isn’t an unconventional take. The entire book is structured like this: reminders that “bad thing is bad” and several iterations of the same story with a different cousin. It makes for a slog.
I would love to read a stronger, structured memoir by Grace Tame in a few years time, as long as she has a decent (and ruthless) editor by her side.
April 19, 2023
Grace Tame is a legend, being Australian of the Year in 2021. She was a childhood sexual abuse survivor and her story of being groomed by a high school teacher and sexually abused has had her leading national awareness about this scourge.
She documents her tumultuous life here, unfortunately her presentation of her life is tumultuous as well. As interesting as her life has been, and all the interesting people in it, I often found her narrative nearly impossible to follow as she relates events in confusing order and sometimes not seemingly in context.
I found this memoir hard to read and follow, but her main message was clear. I now have a better understanding of her journey and think she is an amazing woman, maybe not a great writer of memoirs. A library ebook.
She documents her tumultuous life here, unfortunately her presentation of her life is tumultuous as well. As interesting as her life has been, and all the interesting people in it, I often found her narrative nearly impossible to follow as she relates events in confusing order and sometimes not seemingly in context.
I found this memoir hard to read and follow, but her main message was clear. I now have a better understanding of her journey and think she is an amazing woman, maybe not a great writer of memoirs. A library ebook.
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September 28, 2022Powerful!
The courage and honesty of this author have my greatest admiration. Her dedication to family, friends and truth in the quest of helping other survivors made the reading of this book to be a significant and inspiring message.
The courage and honesty of this author have my greatest admiration. Her dedication to family, friends and truth in the quest of helping other survivors made the reading of this book to be a significant and inspiring message.
February 5, 2023
The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner: A memoir is 2021 Australian of the Year Grace Tame's memoir of her family background, childhood in Tasmania and experiences living in Europe and the USA in her late teens and 20s. The sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of a teacher when fifteen years old looms large, and Tame's ongoing (and entirely understandable) anger at what happened to her is palpable.
"You see, people don't shatter all at once. We don't fall to pieces. We fall in pieces. And piece by piece, we pick ourselves up over the course of time. If it were a clean break, it might be a clean fix. It's not. It's death by a thousand cuts. Or a thousand micro-tears. Such as those caused by a bone slowly splintering inside a body." (p.147)Not unexpectedly, this was a gruelling read at times. As a fellow alumnus of the school at which Grace suffered her abuse, and having encountered her abuser myself (though not as one of his numerous victims), albeit 20-odd years prior to Tame's experiences, at times I felt the need to put the book aside due to its shocking emotional impact. The way the young Grace was carefully groomed, repeatedly raped and then discarded is undeniably horrific. However, I was shocked anew at the extent to which the perpetrator effectively also groomed his colleagues in the school hierarchy, and to a lesser degree gaslit Grace's own parents, in a conscious strategy to hide and/or excuse his behaviour. While Grace eventually defied him and disclosed the abuse to another teacher, the way she was treated by the school leaders and community in the aftermath was deplorable. To this day, she is relentlessly abused and trolled on social media, especially in her home state, accused of having "asked for" the abuse or having unjustifiably ruined her abuser's life and reputation. During her year as Australian of the Year, the trauma she continues to carry was repeatedly re-triggered by insensitive media hounds seeking a provocative soundbite.
"I learned something about the commodification of trauma that day [Tame's appearance on the ABC's Q&A programme], which is that you have to take things into your own hands. If you don't speak, people will put words in your mouth." (p.178)It's an engaging story, which will sadly be triggering for many, and the stores of resilience and humour Tame possesses are phenomenal. The way she's leveraged her own anger and thirst for justice into spearheading a campaign to bring child sexual abuse out of the shadows and open a national conversation about the treatment of victim-survivors is awe-inspiring. She can be abrasive and raw in her delivery - who can blame her, really? - and refuses to comply with societal and media expectations as to how a young, attractive woman should behave in the spotlight. Her famous "side-eye" to former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison, during a handover ceremony at the conclusion of her tenure as Australian of the year, certainly raised the ire of (mostly middle-aged male) media and political commentators, and prompted plenty of social media debate (and a fresh round of personal attacks on Tame herself).
"I frowned at Scott Morrison deliberately because, in my opinion, he has done and assisted in objectively terrible things. No matter what your politics are, the harm that was caused under his government was some of the worst in our nation's history, including but not limited to survivors of domestic and sexual violence. To have smiled at him, to have pretended that everything was all right, would have made me a fucking liar.
That there was more outrage that day directed towards me over a momentary death stare than towards many of Scott's political acts, reflects how disturbingly skewed our national media's perspective and priorities have become. If people are more upset by the way you look than what you're exposing, it says more about them than it does about you."
They're the emperors without any clothes on. (p.323-4)While I found the majority of the content compelling, I did find the style of the book a little "all over the place". It jumps backwards and forwards in chronology, resembling in some parts a stream of consciousness. I eventually gave up trying to keep track of who was who amongst the multitude of names of those who have impacted Tame's life in some respect. I'm conflicted in my feelings about the structure and content, as while I believe some tighter editing might have made for a better-flowing book, it would also no doubt have detracted to some degree from the raw power of Tame's own words.
"I am aware that this book will draw varying responses, including brutal backlash, and undoubtedly more than ever before. It is heavy, explicit, confronting and emotionally charged. It is my unfiltered, unfinished life, written not only upon reflection, but while still realising some of the deepest darkness I've seen. In order to do that, at just 27, I had to armour myself with anger, because the only person there with me was me." (p.326)
January 4, 2023
⭐️4 Stars⭐️
In 2021 Grace Tame was named Australian of the Year. At age fifteen Grace was groomed and suffered repeated sexual abuse from her 58 year old maths teacher. Grace is an Australian activist and advocate for survivors of sexual abuse.
In this memoir The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner: A memoir we learn about Grace’s family, her autism, anorexia, her dramas and her artistic talent (see book cover) and her marriage to an American actor. She is strong, intelligent and sometimes funny. The book is dark and confronting and I admire Tame for speaking out with courage and honesty. Her writing is articulate and powerful.
There’s a lot to unpack in her twenty seven years and Tame shows how deeply the abuse has shaped her life to date. The chapters weave in and out of her childhood, her extended family members, friends and the years she spent living in America.
The memoir is quite complex at times and it’s by no means an easy read. Not afraid to speak her mind I admire Grace’s drive and spirit and it’s voices like hers that will inspire and push change.
Publication Date 27 November 2022
Publisher Macmillan Australia
Thank you Pan Macmillan Australia for sending me a copy of the book.
In 2021 Grace Tame was named Australian of the Year. At age fifteen Grace was groomed and suffered repeated sexual abuse from her 58 year old maths teacher. Grace is an Australian activist and advocate for survivors of sexual abuse.
In this memoir The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner: A memoir we learn about Grace’s family, her autism, anorexia, her dramas and her artistic talent (see book cover) and her marriage to an American actor. She is strong, intelligent and sometimes funny. The book is dark and confronting and I admire Tame for speaking out with courage and honesty. Her writing is articulate and powerful.
There’s a lot to unpack in her twenty seven years and Tame shows how deeply the abuse has shaped her life to date. The chapters weave in and out of her childhood, her extended family members, friends and the years she spent living in America.
The memoir is quite complex at times and it’s by no means an easy read. Not afraid to speak her mind I admire Grace’s drive and spirit and it’s voices like hers that will inspire and push change.
Publication Date 27 November 2022
Publisher Macmillan Australia
Thank you Pan Macmillan Australia for sending me a copy of the book.
November 24, 2022
This is an impressive but extremely dense unpacking of 2021 Australian of the Year Grace Tame's life so far. I mean, she's only 27 and so a memoir seems a bit premature, but she's packed more into those 27 years than most people do in twice as long. The first few chapters are quite a slog, being very detailed accounts of her close (and extended) family members; I had to push myself to get through those. An account of the child sexual abuse she experienced in her teen years doesn't actually take up many pages; instead, the whirlwind life of a talented young artist living in LA (and meeting celebrities left, right and centre) takes up most of the second half of the book. And that part is also a slog, as every person she's ever crossed paths and made friends with rates a mention. Personally, I would've liked to read more about Grace's autistic identity (particularly the assessment process) and there's also a whole mystery wedding/husband/separation/divorce that's never actually explained. But the photographs of her artwork, as well as her long-distance running achievements and advocacy for survivors, reveal a pretty amazing, talented and determined person. I'm sure she'll go far in life, far beyond her trauma.
dnf
December 27, 2022DNF - Grace Tame is a legend, Australian of the year, but that doesn't mean she can write.
This is unreadable, full of cliches that's don't say anything, it's boring and repetitive. Pan Macmillan should have provided Tame with more support or a ghost writer.
This is a stream of consciousness memoir, that has not been cut down after the original writing burst.
I DNFed this at the point Tame compares child sexually abuse to a steak, rare and cut against the grain. What does that actually mean? Editors need to tell an author when they can't do something, such as write purple... I'll go a step further and say, if you're not a reader, don't write a book. Everything I read could have been covered in 3 pages, and good writers know when to do that.
We need books out there that advocate for action on child abuse, we need strong women in the public to be role models for the next generation, we need autistic people and people with ADHD, we need survivors, we need people like Grace Tame - but this would be so much more effective at getting it's message across if it was simply written, if the editors had of considered accessibility of language.
This is unreadable, full of cliches that's don't say anything, it's boring and repetitive. Pan Macmillan should have provided Tame with more support or a ghost writer.
This is a stream of consciousness memoir, that has not been cut down after the original writing burst.
I DNFed this at the point Tame compares child sexually abuse to a steak, rare and cut against the grain. What does that actually mean? Editors need to tell an author when they can't do something, such as write purple... I'll go a step further and say, if you're not a reader, don't write a book. Everything I read could have been covered in 3 pages, and good writers know when to do that.
We need books out there that advocate for action on child abuse, we need strong women in the public to be role models for the next generation, we need autistic people and people with ADHD, we need survivors, we need people like Grace Tame - but this would be so much more effective at getting it's message across if it was simply written, if the editors had of considered accessibility of language.
October 12, 2022
Wow, can Grace Tame write! Insightful, sad, touching and hilarious - I couldn't put it down and ended up reading the whole book in one night.
April 24, 2023
i have so much respect and admiration for grace tame. truly good for her that she was given the space to write exactly what she wanted. but i gave up sixty pages in. not every memoir needs to be written and published immediately. it feels like there's such a push amongst publishers to get a memoir out while a person is at their peak of recognisability etc. this book felt so rushed, like a tangled mess of someone processing stuff in a very public way -- some parts felt like conversations you'd have with your community to process, and maybe not something you'd want in the public arena in the long-term.
i really struggled to see any coherence in the structure/narrative, and normally my adhd means i'm good at following other people's adhd trains of thought. not so much here. i really wish the editor had been a more supportive and assertive, and less asleep at the wheel. with a bit more time and guidance this could've been great, but instead it was like reading someone's confusing, (rightfully) angry, steam of consciousness that jumped erratically from point to point.
grace really deserves the space to rage and this book could've done that in an impactful way, but i came away from so many sentences and paragraphs confused about what they were about - a lot seemed lacking a subject or point. it was hard to follow the specifics of what she was so passionately writing about. there was also so much detail on things that i felt could've been shortened, and lots of repetition. there was no clear overarching structure or flow which i really struggled with.
maybe the book picked up later on, but i just couldn't get past how rushed and poorly edited it felt. it felt like she was maybe still processing a lot of stuff still, without fully realising -- i really hope that writing this helped her in her journey.
i really struggled to see any coherence in the structure/narrative, and normally my adhd means i'm good at following other people's adhd trains of thought. not so much here. i really wish the editor had been a more supportive and assertive, and less asleep at the wheel. with a bit more time and guidance this could've been great, but instead it was like reading someone's confusing, (rightfully) angry, steam of consciousness that jumped erratically from point to point.
grace really deserves the space to rage and this book could've done that in an impactful way, but i came away from so many sentences and paragraphs confused about what they were about - a lot seemed lacking a subject or point. it was hard to follow the specifics of what she was so passionately writing about. there was also so much detail on things that i felt could've been shortened, and lots of repetition. there was no clear overarching structure or flow which i really struggled with.
maybe the book picked up later on, but i just couldn't get past how rushed and poorly edited it felt. it felt like she was maybe still processing a lot of stuff still, without fully realising -- i really hope that writing this helped her in her journey.
December 18, 2022
I saw Grace speak at a IWD luncheon in 2021 and she was amazing. Her story and her ability to connect to an audience was beautiful. I guess I had some expectations for this book that were very far from being met. The whole book felt like her telling us every person she had ever know and met. Why do I care who was your friend in primary school, or what your 5 aunts are like. The whole book felt like a bad 2am DM of someone high as a kite telling you all their views on everything they have ever thought about. I would have loved a more linear detail of her life experiences and how it shapes her current projects. This was a book of random ideas and people profiles.
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October 12, 2022I don’t think that this is something you can really “rate.” But Grace is fierce, funny, and articulate. You should read it for yourself.
January 23, 2023
I find this book super hard to rate. Public speaking Grace Tame is fierce and eloquent and unapologetic and I love hearing her speak on things.
For me, that Grace didnt translate in this book. I found it a slog to read and also extremely hard to follow - at times I was re-reading to see if I had missed something but no, it literally jumped from one subject matter to another in a matter of lines. Only to then revisit the original prose pages later like nothing had happened in between.
Another reviewer has indicated their thoughts as some parts being “rambling” and “preachy” and I tend to agree. As this was marketed as a memoir, her thoughts and feelings on subjects unrelated to her specifically made the reading hard to follow, especially when it was sprinkled in the middle of recollections it had nothing to do with.
For me, that Grace didnt translate in this book. I found it a slog to read and also extremely hard to follow - at times I was re-reading to see if I had missed something but no, it literally jumped from one subject matter to another in a matter of lines. Only to then revisit the original prose pages later like nothing had happened in between.
Another reviewer has indicated their thoughts as some parts being “rambling” and “preachy” and I tend to agree. As this was marketed as a memoir, her thoughts and feelings on subjects unrelated to her specifically made the reading hard to follow, especially when it was sprinkled in the middle of recollections it had nothing to do with.
January 9, 2023
I spent the day reading ‘The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner: A memoir’ by Grace Tame - kindly gifted by PanMacmillan.
*Deep breath*
I found this to be both pulverising and illuminating.
As a memoir it stretches and reverberates. Grace jumps around in her own timeline, sometimes - and she can give a long-eyed gaze over her lifetime, and then snap it short when she pleases. This is her right, and it makes it sound more like *her* - and the way her actually autistic mind works.
In reading, I was relieved to discover that I didn’t actually know a lot about the trial relating to Grace Tame as the survivor of ongoing childhood sexual abuse. I had more knowledge of her work post-trial in which her abuser was convicted, and she became an activist (and Australian of the Year) speaking out on behalf of victims and campaigning for better respect for them, particularly by and in the media.
So I’m glad that I really only have Grace’s account, but I - of course! - still found her writing about the schoolteacher who groomed and abused her to be horrific. It’s hard to read. Of course it is. But she writes it at once with such clear-eyed memory, intricately layered with tender context and knowledge of how abuse looks, feels and how predators work. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to recount - alongside her abuse as a child too, and her anorexia as a result of ongoing trauma. But I found her recounting to be necessarily forthright, while still retaining a tender sadness for the girl she was.
It’s hard to read - but she works hard to keep survivors front of mind, layering context about how abuse looks and how predators work. This knowledge of how abusers operate is important and stacked alongside her clear-eyed memories of what he did to her. To read it is to feel like that rock-spider is crawling on you, a phantom evil in the room that is only cast out by Grace’s voice cutting through the dark - telling how she survived, what she did next, and what she’s going to do with this extraordinary life of hers.
I was deeply disturbed (but not surprised) by the many ways Grace was failed. Particularly by her school - who have since had many more survivors come forward with accusations against that rock spider of a creeper teacher, Nicolaas Bester.
Even recently, Grace recalls how she was vilified for refusing to smile in photographs with then Prime Minister Scott Morrison - who failed survivors at every turn of his Prime Ministership. She isn’t unaware of the fact that she did everything “right” - her abuser even boasted of his crimes and was convicted - but she is still hated and disbelieved. Because she lives in the light. Because she has challenged institutions and powerful individuals, and always will.
At one point, Grace writes that she feels certain she’ll write more books than just this one. She talks about her life lived with art (and indeed, she illustrated the incredible front cover!) - some of her sentences and thoughts within are so prickly and perfect (“That sticky, sticky voice.”) and I too feel certain that she is just beginning. I know she is. It’s all ahead of her - but even knowing that, I was grateful for the balm of this book, and Grace showing people what survivorship can look like. Imperfect. Chaotic. Messy. Unrelenting. Ongoing.
Grace doesn’t owe the public anything. But I am glad for a generous spirit and decision to share her story many times over. She keeps reaching out in the dark, and I feel very strongly that those who need to - will keep finding her. This book is just another beacon.
*Deep breath*
I found this to be both pulverising and illuminating.
As a memoir it stretches and reverberates. Grace jumps around in her own timeline, sometimes - and she can give a long-eyed gaze over her lifetime, and then snap it short when she pleases. This is her right, and it makes it sound more like *her* - and the way her actually autistic mind works.
In reading, I was relieved to discover that I didn’t actually know a lot about the trial relating to Grace Tame as the survivor of ongoing childhood sexual abuse. I had more knowledge of her work post-trial in which her abuser was convicted, and she became an activist (and Australian of the Year) speaking out on behalf of victims and campaigning for better respect for them, particularly by and in the media.
So I’m glad that I really only have Grace’s account, but I - of course! - still found her writing about the schoolteacher who groomed and abused her to be horrific. It’s hard to read. Of course it is. But she writes it at once with such clear-eyed memory, intricately layered with tender context and knowledge of how abuse looks, feels and how predators work. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to recount - alongside her abuse as a child too, and her anorexia as a result of ongoing trauma. But I found her recounting to be necessarily forthright, while still retaining a tender sadness for the girl she was.
It’s hard to read - but she works hard to keep survivors front of mind, layering context about how abuse looks and how predators work. This knowledge of how abusers operate is important and stacked alongside her clear-eyed memories of what he did to her. To read it is to feel like that rock-spider is crawling on you, a phantom evil in the room that is only cast out by Grace’s voice cutting through the dark - telling how she survived, what she did next, and what she’s going to do with this extraordinary life of hers.
I was deeply disturbed (but not surprised) by the many ways Grace was failed. Particularly by her school - who have since had many more survivors come forward with accusations against that rock spider of a creeper teacher, Nicolaas Bester.
Even recently, Grace recalls how she was vilified for refusing to smile in photographs with then Prime Minister Scott Morrison - who failed survivors at every turn of his Prime Ministership. She isn’t unaware of the fact that she did everything “right” - her abuser even boasted of his crimes and was convicted - but she is still hated and disbelieved. Because she lives in the light. Because she has challenged institutions and powerful individuals, and always will.
At one point, Grace writes that she feels certain she’ll write more books than just this one. She talks about her life lived with art (and indeed, she illustrated the incredible front cover!) - some of her sentences and thoughts within are so prickly and perfect (“That sticky, sticky voice.”) and I too feel certain that she is just beginning. I know she is. It’s all ahead of her - but even knowing that, I was grateful for the balm of this book, and Grace showing people what survivorship can look like. Imperfect. Chaotic. Messy. Unrelenting. Ongoing.
Grace doesn’t owe the public anything. But I am glad for a generous spirit and decision to share her story many times over. She keeps reaching out in the dark, and I feel very strongly that those who need to - will keep finding her. This book is just another beacon.
April 2, 2023
THE WRITING AND STORYTELLING IS REALLY LACKING.
I am a big admirer of Grace Tame. It feels horrible to rate someones memoir on trauma so low. So where did it all go wrong?
Before I read this, I looked at some negative, lower ranking reviews and thought those people were just being dramatic and mean. No they were right!
The writing is incredibly disjointed (which normally I can be okay with) except that it's also cliche, and the humour doesn't translate to written form. So when you add all those into the mix what you end up with is an uninspiring book, where you find yourself hoping you will get to the deep and moving parts but you never do. I'll echo what others have said, that it was quite boring learning of all these people she's met in her life that are mentioned once or twice. The writing didn't make me care.
Overall it really lacked substance and I was left disappointed. It makes me think how writing well is not easy and just because people get platforms doesn't mean they should write a book. What she has overcome and continues to overcome IS no doubt incredible but the writing does not reflect that.
I am a big admirer of Grace Tame. It feels horrible to rate someones memoir on trauma so low. So where did it all go wrong?
Before I read this, I looked at some negative, lower ranking reviews and thought those people were just being dramatic and mean. No they were right!
The writing is incredibly disjointed (which normally I can be okay with) except that it's also cliche, and the humour doesn't translate to written form. So when you add all those into the mix what you end up with is an uninspiring book, where you find yourself hoping you will get to the deep and moving parts but you never do. I'll echo what others have said, that it was quite boring learning of all these people she's met in her life that are mentioned once or twice. The writing didn't make me care.
Overall it really lacked substance and I was left disappointed. It makes me think how writing well is not easy and just because people get platforms doesn't mean they should write a book. What she has overcome and continues to overcome IS no doubt incredible but the writing does not reflect that.
December 12, 2022
‘There are forces we can control, and others we can’t.’
Grace Tame is an Australian activist and advocate for survivors of sexual assault. Grace was 26 years old when named she was named 2021 Australian of the Year on 25 January 2021. So, we know a little about Grace’s life, about the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of a teacher, about her activism, and about not smiling at Scott Morrison on 25 January 2022. If you want to know more about Ms Tame, then read her memoir.
But before you do, take the time to look at the cover. This sketch, drawn by Ms Tame, shows two different aspects of Grace. In the first, she is looking into the distance. In the second, she is looking down with her hands over her ears. Both are surrounded by other drawings. While I can’t make out all the detail, I can see eagles, wolves and snakes. Ms Tame drew this sketch herself.
Open the pages and learn about Ms Tame’s life, about her family, her autism and her political views. And along the journey, discover what an incredibly talented artist she is and how sharp her observations. There’s humour here as well as darkness, happiness as well as trauma. It’s confronting at times and very honest as Ms Tame analyses various influences and their effects on her.
‘If we live life on other people’s terms, we will inevitably be paralysed into action. Into silence. And we definitely won’t laugh.’
I finished this book filled with admiration for Ms Tame, for her courage and resilience, and her ability to speak up and speak out.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
Grace Tame is an Australian activist and advocate for survivors of sexual assault. Grace was 26 years old when named she was named 2021 Australian of the Year on 25 January 2021. So, we know a little about Grace’s life, about the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of a teacher, about her activism, and about not smiling at Scott Morrison on 25 January 2022. If you want to know more about Ms Tame, then read her memoir.
But before you do, take the time to look at the cover. This sketch, drawn by Ms Tame, shows two different aspects of Grace. In the first, she is looking into the distance. In the second, she is looking down with her hands over her ears. Both are surrounded by other drawings. While I can’t make out all the detail, I can see eagles, wolves and snakes. Ms Tame drew this sketch herself.
Open the pages and learn about Ms Tame’s life, about her family, her autism and her political views. And along the journey, discover what an incredibly talented artist she is and how sharp her observations. There’s humour here as well as darkness, happiness as well as trauma. It’s confronting at times and very honest as Ms Tame analyses various influences and their effects on her.
‘If we live life on other people’s terms, we will inevitably be paralysed into action. Into silence. And we definitely won’t laugh.’
I finished this book filled with admiration for Ms Tame, for her courage and resilience, and her ability to speak up and speak out.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
October 6, 2024
1.5/5
Look, Grace Tame is an incredibly resilient person, a pretty decent artist, and inspiring for many reasons – her writing is not one of those reasons.
I almost have no idea what this book is. According to the blurb it is ‘her story’ and maybe it’s on me for assuming it would focus on the events and victim advocacy that led to her becoming Australian of the Year.
However, this book has no clear scope. It is part genealogy, general observations of culture, political manifesto, family letters, and a dabbling into many other non-relevant issues. She jumps between stories without finishing them and overuses intensifying language to make her point, doing it so often that it’s hard to distinguish any point as paramount. Furthermore, the amount of people in her life that get a mini-biographical entry in this book is ludicrous. She seems to say that every friend is her best friend and just like her, but also each friend understands her like no one else…? There are also a multitude of overused cliches that don’t add anything to her point.
There’s a point in the book where she recounts her displeasure at constantly being labelled as the trauma victim in media appearances. She makes the valid point that those who have suffered trauma have more to contribute to society than these isolated experiences. This challenged me to ponder whether I was judging too quickly and harshly, but ultimately the wide range of things she comments on and the unstructured nature in which she does it still leads me to think my judgement is fair. She’s saying so much it feels like she’s saying nothing.
I didn’t know Tame was neurodivergent until I read this. Maybe her writing style resembles stream of consciousness because that’s the way she tends to conduct her own thinking and storytelling. She also makes the point that trauma can make it difficult to think or write chronologically. In this case, the blame may lie with her editors. Tame does have some interesting stories to tell and with better editing these stories could have been easier to follow while still retaining Tame’s unique authorial voice.
I don’t actively dislike this book, but one more story about a random person in LA or a non-descript family member may have pushed me over the edge.
Look, Grace Tame is an incredibly resilient person, a pretty decent artist, and inspiring for many reasons – her writing is not one of those reasons.
I almost have no idea what this book is. According to the blurb it is ‘her story’ and maybe it’s on me for assuming it would focus on the events and victim advocacy that led to her becoming Australian of the Year.
However, this book has no clear scope. It is part genealogy, general observations of culture, political manifesto, family letters, and a dabbling into many other non-relevant issues. She jumps between stories without finishing them and overuses intensifying language to make her point, doing it so often that it’s hard to distinguish any point as paramount. Furthermore, the amount of people in her life that get a mini-biographical entry in this book is ludicrous. She seems to say that every friend is her best friend and just like her, but also each friend understands her like no one else…? There are also a multitude of overused cliches that don’t add anything to her point.
There’s a point in the book where she recounts her displeasure at constantly being labelled as the trauma victim in media appearances. She makes the valid point that those who have suffered trauma have more to contribute to society than these isolated experiences. This challenged me to ponder whether I was judging too quickly and harshly, but ultimately the wide range of things she comments on and the unstructured nature in which she does it still leads me to think my judgement is fair. She’s saying so much it feels like she’s saying nothing.
I didn’t know Tame was neurodivergent until I read this. Maybe her writing style resembles stream of consciousness because that’s the way she tends to conduct her own thinking and storytelling. She also makes the point that trauma can make it difficult to think or write chronologically. In this case, the blame may lie with her editors. Tame does have some interesting stories to tell and with better editing these stories could have been easier to follow while still retaining Tame’s unique authorial voice.
I don’t actively dislike this book, but one more story about a random person in LA or a non-descript family member may have pushed me over the edge.
October 17, 2025
grace wrote a love letter not only to the people and experiences that form the roots in her heart, but to herself - and it’s a privilege to be able to sit with what she’s chosen to share
February 22, 2023
As other reviews have said, this book is unfiltered, non linear and often time confusing. Grace has an important story to tell, I just wish it had been edited better or had a ghost writer on side to aid the storytelling. I have rated it higher because of the important content.
January 26, 2023
It's really hard to rate this book because I am such a big Grace Tame supporter and I appreciate how hard it must have been to write her story down and relive trauma over and over throughout the writing and editing process. As Grace discusses in the book she didn't want to retell the horror of her abuse over and over but getting it out in this book will hopefully free her to discuss whatever else she is hoping to in future books. I would love to learn more about her art, that was fascinating. Also would love to hear more about the ongoing work of the Grace Tame foundation and her future works. Thank you so much for your strength and amazingly brave advocacy for survivors.
You might be wondering why I've only rated the book 3 stars if I am such a big supporter. Unfortunately I did find the book hard to follow. From a structural point of view the non-linear timeline of story telling made me feel lost at times and the jumping from topic to topic was confusing in places. It took a few rereads of paragraphs to take in where the conversation had gone. Also the long descriptions of family members, friends, colleagues and acquaintances was a push to get through. There also times I felt the stories had been left unfinished, which made me question why we went on those tangents.
I would still recommend Grace's book and believe that her work is incredibly important. Overall this is book is a very honest and from the heart telling of Grace's background and introduction to the people that have shaped her, with both positive and regretfully very negative influence.
You might be wondering why I've only rated the book 3 stars if I am such a big supporter. Unfortunately I did find the book hard to follow. From a structural point of view the non-linear timeline of story telling made me feel lost at times and the jumping from topic to topic was confusing in places. It took a few rereads of paragraphs to take in where the conversation had gone. Also the long descriptions of family members, friends, colleagues and acquaintances was a push to get through. There also times I felt the stories had been left unfinished, which made me question why we went on those tangents.
I would still recommend Grace's book and believe that her work is incredibly important. Overall this is book is a very honest and from the heart telling of Grace's background and introduction to the people that have shaped her, with both positive and regretfully very negative influence.
February 9, 2023
I really wanted to love this and feel really guilty rating this book so low. Obviously Grace Tame is an amazing human with a powerful story. I just couldn’t get through this book. It jumped all over the place with no consistency. Sometimes I struggle with “non writers” writing books. Like I said amazingly resilient human, I just couldn’t get through this book sadly.
March 16, 2024
I admire Grace Tame and would find it hard to adequately praise the work she has done over her short life and time in the public eye. So as expected I enjoyed reading this book, even though horrific at times, delivered unapologetically with empowerment and a side of dark humour (love).
I enjoyed learning about the childhood, support networks and systems that have built Grace into the fierce person she is today. Challenging and heartbreaking but so wholesome - it almost felt like a bit of a love letter to herself.
I love a good memoir that engages me like a story, so if you’re able to read this (given triggering topics) you should!!
June 16, 2023
Grace Tame - a name I will not forget or the message she stands for.
This was a eye opening memoir, written with blazon honesty, wit, and integrity.
What a powerhouse of a human being, so much packed into so short of a life. What guts she has to speak out of her experiences and something that affects so many.
This memoir was raw and emotional but also informative and empowering.
I feel there is a lot more to come from Grace Tame and I’m excited for it!!
This was a eye opening memoir, written with blazon honesty, wit, and integrity.
What a powerhouse of a human being, so much packed into so short of a life. What guts she has to speak out of her experiences and something that affects so many.
This memoir was raw and emotional but also informative and empowering.
I feel there is a lot more to come from Grace Tame and I’m excited for it!!
January 10, 2023
i’m speechless. that was the best book ever. grace tame’s writing style is impeccable, she finds a perfect balance between raw emotion whilst showing how wonderful life can be. i feel like she deserves another australian of year award purely just for writing this piece of art. i already loved her but this made me her #1 fan for life. catch me re watching all her press conferences and speeches she’s performed.
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July 5, 2024this would have to be the most impactful and powerful memoir I've ever read. I felt every emotion known to womankind whilst listening to this.
October 22, 2024
The easiest and most enjoyable book I've ever read covering such dark topics. The more we hear these stories, the more they come into the light the better we can deal with it.
October 9, 2022
Profound
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