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Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion, Through Love Instead of Fear
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Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion, Through Love Instead of Fear

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4.31  ·  Rating details ·  447 ratings  ·  41 reviews
"Connection Parenting" is based on author Pam Leo's seven week parenting series, "Meeting the Needs of Children," that she has been teaching for over sixteen years. The premise is that a strong parent-child bond is the key to children's optimal human development and our most effective parenting tool. Connection Parenting is a proactive approach to parenting that supports ...more
Paperback, 205 pages
Published November 1st 2005 by Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing
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Average rating 4.31  · 
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Anastasia
Apr 21, 2008 rated it really liked it
This book is full of good information, but Ms. Leo is not an author. She badly needs to have had this book edited. Nonetheless, I recommend reading this book; behind the hokey terms like "love cup" are some important concepts about treating our children with respect, honoring their feelings, and meeting kids' needs.
Sarah
Jan 17, 2011 rated it it was amazing
In Connection Parenting there are no quick fixes, no time-outs, no threats, no coercion used in Pam Leo's methods... instead she teaches parenting through connection. One of the things she said that stuck with me is about how we need to stop treating children as "second-rate citizens". While this may seem a little over the top I feel like we, as a nation, do treat our children pretty poor. We raise our children the way we were raised (with a few changes here and there) but don't stop to think ...more
Ashley
Mar 12, 2012 rated it it was ok
I really like the concept of connecting with your child, showing respect and love as opposed to using coercion or fear of punishment to change behavior; but she was really big on if your child has behavior problems, its because you as a parent aren't meeting the needs of that child. I don't fully agree.

I also think we have to be careful about not allowing our children to work through struggles because not everyone out there in the world is always going to try to meet our children's needs and we
...more
Sonya Feher
Aug 13, 2008 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: parents
Recommended to Sonya by: API
Shelves: parenting, nonfiction
This is a great overview for parents who don't have time to read tons of parenting books. The author was a childcare provider for 22 years and then taught parenting workshops for 16 years before writing this book. Connection Parenting
asks one to reflect about one’s own parenting goals and inheritance (how one was parented). That grounding in history and future helps to deal with parenting in the present: how to communicate, understand what a child is communicating, discipline, and make sure
...more
Marta
Feb 20, 2009 rated it it was amazing
I love this book so much!!!!!! I felt like it saved me and is really helping me to brake the parenting cycles that have been happening in my family for generations. I think that it a wonderful peaceful method to parenting and truly works. It has brought awarness to how and when I communicate with my children. I have bought it for one person and insisted others buy it, keep it and read it.
Jenni Pertuset
Nov 12, 2008 rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
This is a great parenting book. An accessible collection of kernels of insight and truth present in other remarkably valuable works -- like Hold Onto Your Kids and Non Violent Communication -- it also includes thoughtful original ideas. Leo has the great advantage of being concise, making Connection Parenting easy to recommend to parents whose time is short. One of the best ideas in the book is that the true magic word is “let’s.” I also appreciated her discussion of how to interpret behavior to ...more
Andre
Jun 29, 2011 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: parents
Recommended to Andre by: wife
Shelves: parenting, own
This is a quick read and filled with practical advice. Pam Leo eschews the heavy data-driven and theoretical approaches that some parenting books can get into and focuses on making the concepts "real" for your family. It makes a great companion book to Magical Child, but can also stand alone as a great book to reach for when you need some help.
Lori
Apr 23, 2007 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: parents, therapists
Shelves: books2007
I absorbed this book like a sponge! The ideas and principles are an inspiration to me as a clinician intern becoming a child therapist. I have approached my sessions with the intention of helping parents connect with their children and it has yielded postive results. I cannot sing enough praise of this book!
Julie
Feb 20, 2008 rated it really liked it
There were some ideas in this book that I absolutely loved like a child cooperates better when they have a good relationship with a parent. I also like her ideas about treating children with more respect. There were some ideas that didn't make much sense to me though. If you never punish a child (inlcuding taking away privildges) how will they ever learn responsibility for their choices?
Shelley
Oct 12, 2009 rated it it was amazing
This is one of my favorite parenting books. It's short, sweet and to the point.

One chapter per week is a good way to work your way through it for the first time.

Now I reread bits and pieces whenever I find myself straying from being the kind of parent I want to be. Just a few minutes with it help me recenter.

It's also one of my favorites to share with new parents.
Clarissa
Nov 12, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting-books
This book is rather new age and sappy but it also provides the best approach to parenting that I have seen. No one could always be as kind and gentle a parent as this book advises, but just having read it helps you to pause in the heat of the moment and think and calm down enough to be a better parent.
Carrie S
Feb 03, 2008 rated it it was amazing
A quick, easy read. This is an amazing book that helped me to heal from my own childhood and forgive my parents for their mistakes. It also started me on the gentle discipline path.
Tanja
This book should be a must read for parents. I'm only giving it 4 stars, because it goes a bit over the top some times. There's a page where it compares Ghandi and Hitlers upbringing, without, as far as I can tell, any facts to back this up. If that part was cut out, it's still very mushy, but bearable mush.
I love the fact that this book gives useable advice. It's not an intangible philosophy, it gives situation examples and ways to avoid them or solve them.
Tried and tested at home I can only
...more
Julie Zilkie
Feb 21, 2017 rated it liked it
This was a quick read, and one with principles I needed reminded of. It is far easier to bark out a order or come up with a quick consequence than it is to take a moment to connect with the child and find out what the true need is of that particular child at that particular moment. I feel like I picked up some more tools for my parenting toolbox along with just being reminded of some I let go by the wayside for lack of time and effort. However, the problem of sin and the answer found only in ...more
Sue
Jun 11, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: all parents and caregivers
This book reminds me of what my parenting beliefs were back when I was just the mother of one. Something about being the mother of two made me too tired to remember all my high ideals and lofty goals and this book has been instrumental in getting myself back on track. AND I know Pam Leo's advice works, because I saw it working for my son when he was an only child, and I see it working for both of my children now that I am implementing these strategies again. My son is happier and I am a more ...more
Shana
Apr 25, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
Easy read. Short sections and tid bits that allow you to pick up and read an idea 2-5 minutes at a time if you wish. Embraces the best of all my favorite parenting books. Each chapter references other books if you are interested in reading more indepth on what is presented. THIS is your cliff notes. This is your bathroom book. This is the book you might be able to get your husband to read. It's a fast read, and I will probably read it again and again. Simple, to the point, informative, ...more
Teresa
Jul 03, 2008 rated it it was amazing
This is the best parenting book I've ever read. Our parent education teacher at preschool highly recommends this book for everyone, no matter what age your kids are. This book is fairly new, but will soon be a huge hit! The author, Pam Leo, teaches ways to find solutions that are loving, using connection and talks against any type of fear based techniques. You'll be amazed at what you are doing right now that isn't benefiting your kids,even though you have the best intentions. A MUST READ FOR ...more
Michele
Dec 23, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I don't remember exactly when I read this, but it was sometime after my first daughter was born in 2001 and possibly after my second daughter was born in 2003, but almost more likely it was before. In any case, this book above all informed my parenting philosophy. If someone asked me to suggest only one parenting book to read, it would be this one.
Corilla
Nov 23, 2014 rated it really liked it
Another wonderful resource for attachment and connected parenting. Had a wide variety of other books and websites at the end that helped me compile a new amazon order of parenting books since I have now read all of my previous ones. Looking forward to reading some of the books I have read about in Connection Parenting.
LLL USA Breastfeeding Support
This book is a concise and insightful guide to parenting. Pam Leo provides the theory to encourage parents to connect with their children, as well as the practical tools to effectively transform common childhood behaviors. She is honest about the challenges facing many parents today, and provides strategies to overcome these challenges without resorting to authoritarian parenting.
Marti
Jun 28, 2019 rated it liked it
She has an important message! She doesn’t make much of the science that backs up what she is saying, but there IS new (10 years?) science that backs her up. It’s a good one, and she lists MANY other books that augment her message. It’s a pretty quick read, so... I recommend. [I only gave 3 (more like 3+) stars because I am used to reading the heavier-on-science stuff, which I prefer.]
Christy
Jun 22, 2008 rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: Erin Buell
Presented a lot of true principles but I didn't always agree with the way the author suggested those principles be applied so I wouldn't wholeheartedly recommend it without some reservations and explanations first.
Jonine
Jul 02, 2013 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Some really good techniques that have helped me step back and rethink my patenting. I really stop to think "I need to teach her everything! Every emotion and how to deal with it and we've made huge strides in her behavior! Way less arguing and bickering.
Ben
Aug 24, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Best book on parenting and working with children's emotions ever, no question.
Pauline
Feb 06, 2008 rated it it was amazing
This is one of the best parenting books I've read - still it's taking me a while to get through it. It's an easy read, but it's a workbook, and I just am not making it a priority.
Kristoffer Liland
Aug 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Deeply influenced my parenting style
Sonia
Sep 06, 2008 rated it it was amazing
The author gave tons of great techniques and advice. If you are a parent or plan to be a parent someday, this book can help you get thru the terrible twos and three's without hitting or yelling.
Amy
May 07, 2009 rated it it was amazing
I found this to be one of the best parenting books I have read. Concise, good examples and very much in-line with my philosophy. I took away several key things which I have already started doing!
Michelle
Apr 05, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: parents, grandparents, anyone who likes kids
Great book! I took a class from Pam once, this book is basically the text to her class. Very helpful and inspiring.
Rebecca
Great easy read which helped me enormously
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Pam Leo is an independent scholar in human development, a parent educator, a certified childbirth educator, a doula, a parent, and a grandparent.

"After my first child was born in 1972, it became my passion to understand human behavior. I began to study child development, psychology, sociology, and anthropology. I wanted to learn why we are each born as a tiny innocent being, and some of us grow up
...more