“Evil doesn’t exist at Camp Alpine Lake” (2).
***Spoilers included***
I read They’ll Never Catch Us recently and, while I only gave it three stars, I saw this one was published recently and thought, why not? I still appreciate some YA as an adult, it’s summer, so I thought reading it during summer would enhance the experience, and I guess I thought maybe Goodman’s writing had improved. Unfortunately, I think this book is worse! Luckily, it’s a quick read, but I wish I’d gotten it from the library rather than paying for it.
The plot is, frankly, a mess. I was so excited about a thriller set at a camp. Although I’d probably rather end my life than work at a sleepaway camp myself, I have vivid memories of Girl Scout camp that was mercifully only a week long, and I think I thought this book would be more like Fear Street. Instead, we get Goldie, the charity case at an elitist camp that rich parents inexplicably want to send their kids to. She has two best friends who serve as background for her teen angst, Imogen and Ava, and she’s especially excited to come back to camp as a counselor this summer because her super popular boyfriend, Heller, drove drunk, hit one of his friends, and convinces her to say she was driving, resulting in him and the rest of the school shunning her during her senior year, having to sign an NDA, and getting so depressed she has to repeat a semester of her senior year (when, really, she could just get her GED. Goodman is really unrealistic and dramatic about being a high school senior, like how in They’ll Never Catch Us, student loans were not even considered an option). Then, Heller winds up dead and Goldie laments the whole time about losing her toxic, manipulative ex, and it’s found out that he was killed because he was some kind of teen vigilante who uncovered money embezzlement by Ava’s dad who was also helping the camp owners embezzle money. Prompts for them killing him with an insulin injection, which was unique, but it was all so over-the-top and haphazard that I began skimming.
I find teen Nancy Drew-types ridiculous, but if done well, I’ll suspend my disbelief. This was just too much, though, with Heller uncovering the embezzlement, Goldie and her friends sneaking around the camp watching surveillance footage and the like, and then the camp owners giving this Scooby-Doo-like speech. Gag. It just came off as silly.
The way Goodman presents teens is also not something I think actual young adults should read. They’re constantly getting drunk and high with no consequences, falling for toxic people with no consequences, and meandering through life as if they have no responsibilities. These counselors are awful. In what world do all counselors get two nights off a week to go get drunk in a neighboring town? How do they have so much time to run around and have sex everywhere?! What is the max age at this camp? My husband went to an elitist gifted kid camp himself, and his stories are nothing like this as a counselor. Additionally, for such a prestigious camp where you have to send in audition tapes and such, they don’t do any remarkable activities at all, except I guess the one girl brought her horse in each week to ride.
The adults are also as horrible as the teens. Your mom knows you weren’t the one driving, but she lets you take the fall and then gives the lame excuse of “Baby, I’m sorry. This whole year’s been a mess” (289). How old are these parents and why do they all suck?! I can’t. Plus, the camp owners were willing to kill two girls they’d known for years because they “love the camp more?!” It really is so silly.
There’s also the toxic relationship between Goldie and Heller. He manipulated you, used you, then everyone’s like “but he loved you.” No. He never did the right thing and let you suffer and throw away your life.
The funniest thing (and most boring) was the money embezzling. Did the U.S. government pay Goodman to write a YA book about how bad it is to lie about money? It’s hilarious considering how rich most of the parents and campers were, and we’re supposed to think the poor camp owners who just wanted to own nice things are villains? That’s rich (pun intended). Frankly, in the middle of the global economic crisis we’re experiencing, I was rooting for the camp owners.
Final thought: “Leaf peeping” sounds super dumb (234). “Leaf looking” at least has alliteration.