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A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings: A Graphic Memoir
During Will Betke-Brunswick’s sophomore year of college, their beloved mother, Elizabeth, is diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. They only have ten more months together, which Will documents in evocative two-color illustrations. But as we follow Will and their mom through chemo and hospital visits, their time together is buoyed by laughter, jigsaw puzzles, modern art, and vegan BLTs. In a delightful twist, Will portrays their family as penguins, and their friends are cast as a menagerie of birds. In between therapy and bedside chats, they navigate uniquely human challenges, as Will prepares for math exams, comes out as genderqueer, and negotiates familial tension.
A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings is an act of loving others and loving oneself, offering a story of coming-of-age, illness, death, and life that announces the arrival of a talented storyteller in Will Betke-Brunswick. At its heart, Will’s story is a celebration of a mother-child relationship filled with unconditional devotion, humor, care, and openness.
A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings is an act of loving others and loving oneself, offering a story of coming-of-age, illness, death, and life that announces the arrival of a talented storyteller in Will Betke-Brunswick. At its heart, Will’s story is a celebration of a mother-child relationship filled with unconditional devotion, humor, care, and openness.
168 pages, Paperback
First published November 15, 2022
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767 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 127 reviews
November 14, 2022
I was given the opportunity to read this book ahead of its release! Here's the blurb I wrote for it: Life does not deliver a series of discrete events, but a tangle of overlapping experiences. The author was working on a mathematics degree, playing on a hockey team, and slowly coming out as trans and nonbinary when their mom was diagnosed with cancer. This book weaves memories from the author's childhood with scenes from the last few months of their mother's life into a tender story of acceptance, care, and love. The heavy moments are lightened by the portrayal of the family as penguins, with friends and strangers as a flock of other birds, but the story is deeply human.
November 7, 2022
There are frames of this book that touched me so deeply. Perfectly encapsulating losing a parent to illness in early adulthood. Also perfectly capturing the difficulty of communicating with loved ones in times of emotional intensity. Will’s rendered their mother so beautifully. The humor and quirk is all there. What a special tribute. It lacked a little depth overall even though some moments were near perfect.
December 27, 2025
A genderqueer person tells about their life and the last ten months of their mother's as she is dying from cancer.
There are moving moments, but I found the storytelling too skittery and felt a little lost in the jerk and jumble. I also found the use of birds for all the characters to be distancing, especially with their limited ability to emote due their unchanging beaks and lack of mouths.
I wish I could have made a connection.
There are moving moments, but I found the storytelling too skittery and felt a little lost in the jerk and jumble. I also found the use of birds for all the characters to be distancing, especially with their limited ability to emote due their unchanging beaks and lack of mouths.
I wish I could have made a connection.
January 11, 2023
Thank you @tin_house for the gifted graphic novel
An unexpected and poignant debut graphic memoir about a close-knit family approaching loss, and the wonder and joy they create along the way.
𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄: 𝐀 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬
𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑: 𝗪𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐤𝐞-𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐤
𝐏𝐔𝐁 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄: 𝟏𝟏.𝟏𝟓.𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐫
Will Betke-Brunswick tells a poignant, and an endearing heartwarming story about their close knit family and their journey after their mother’s Cancer diagnosis. Will’s debut graphic memoir is minimally styled. The illustrations are simple yet is visually stunning that is represented by two colors - peach and blue. Will’s family is depicted as penguins and the others characters as different species of birds. The story is told in both back stories, and then progresses to the last ten months of Will’s mother Elizabeth’s life, as she goes through chemo treatments, to her eventual passing.
In this quiet and sparse story, Will is able to depict the enormousness of the loving mother-child relationship. Will also opens up about his identity in this joyful and hopeful story. Will’s storytelling and creativity is a true triumph. I couldn’t help but shed some tears - the story really depicted a beautiful loving relationship between son and mother.
An unexpected and poignant debut graphic memoir about a close-knit family approaching loss, and the wonder and joy they create along the way.
𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄: 𝐀 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬
𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑: 𝗪𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐤𝐞-𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐤
𝐏𝐔𝐁 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄: 𝟏𝟏.𝟏𝟓.𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐫
Will Betke-Brunswick tells a poignant, and an endearing heartwarming story about their close knit family and their journey after their mother’s Cancer diagnosis. Will’s debut graphic memoir is minimally styled. The illustrations are simple yet is visually stunning that is represented by two colors - peach and blue. Will’s family is depicted as penguins and the others characters as different species of birds. The story is told in both back stories, and then progresses to the last ten months of Will’s mother Elizabeth’s life, as she goes through chemo treatments, to her eventual passing.
In this quiet and sparse story, Will is able to depict the enormousness of the loving mother-child relationship. Will also opens up about his identity in this joyful and hopeful story. Will’s storytelling and creativity is a true triumph. I couldn’t help but shed some tears - the story really depicted a beautiful loving relationship between son and mother.
August 23, 2022
I read Betke-Brunswick’s debut because I’m a sucker for graphic memoirs — especially ones about the death of a parent and complex family dynamics. (See Alison Bechdel for the epitome of the form.)
I so wanted to like their heartfelt tribute to their relationship with their dying mother and challenges coming out as genderqueer, but I kept wondering: where is the narrative?
They pulled together a series of vignettes, scattered snapshots in time, which together give off a vague impressionistic effect but fail to convey the reader forward on their journey with them.
The decision to render all the characters as birds, with their own family drawn as penguins, was also strange. For me, it took away from the immediacy of what could otherwise have been a much more emotionally engaging book.
(Received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.)
I so wanted to like their heartfelt tribute to their relationship with their dying mother and challenges coming out as genderqueer, but I kept wondering: where is the narrative?
They pulled together a series of vignettes, scattered snapshots in time, which together give off a vague impressionistic effect but fail to convey the reader forward on their journey with them.
The decision to render all the characters as birds, with their own family drawn as penguins, was also strange. For me, it took away from the immediacy of what could otherwise have been a much more emotionally engaging book.
(Received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.)
February 27, 2023
You think for once you have picked out a graphic memoir that is not about a mother dying. Alas.
P.S. This author went to CCA.
P.S. This author went to CCA.
September 24, 2023
When I tell you that I cried 9 pages in I mean that I cried 9 pages in. My God. This killed me.
Really beautiful, really heartbreaking, so cute, so sad. The penguins and bird character choice was fabulous. What a tender and lovely way to capture their mother!
I'm not sure how this got titled? But damn the pros and cons list in the graphic novel, as well as the scenes with the mom and dad especially broke me. There's a lot of really good stuff in here, including some pieces about the author sharing their gender with their parents, being a young adult when losing a parent, and spouses/partners saying goodbye at the end of one of their lives - all these pieces didn't totally come together for me, but 4 stars because I truly cried ugly tears throughout.
Really beautiful, really heartbreaking, so cute, so sad. The penguins and bird character choice was fabulous. What a tender and lovely way to capture their mother!
I'm not sure how this got titled? But damn the pros and cons list in the graphic novel, as well as the scenes with the mom and dad especially broke me. There's a lot of really good stuff in here, including some pieces about the author sharing their gender with their parents, being a young adult when losing a parent, and spouses/partners saying goodbye at the end of one of their lives - all these pieces didn't totally come together for me, but 4 stars because I truly cried ugly tears throughout.
October 13, 2023
3.5 stars
Why did I do this to myself?! This autobiographical graphic novel is about the author coming home from college to spend time with their mother after her Stage IV cancer diagnosis, mixed in with snippets from their childhood so you get a full sense for who she was as a mom.
It's not as brutal as it sounds, mostly because she was clearly an amazing mother. I can't imagine a more well-adjusted way to go through something like this, and yet that almost makes it more devastating in the end.
This was a loving, lovely tribute to the kind of mother I would aspire to be if I aspired to be a mom. I imagine it was very cathartic to make.
Recommended if the premise interests you.
**This book was provided for free by the publisher in exchange for an honest review via NetGalley**
Why did I do this to myself?! This autobiographical graphic novel is about the author coming home from college to spend time with their mother after her Stage IV cancer diagnosis, mixed in with snippets from their childhood so you get a full sense for who she was as a mom.
It's not as brutal as it sounds, mostly because she was clearly an amazing mother. I can't imagine a more well-adjusted way to go through something like this, and yet that almost makes it more devastating in the end.
This was a loving, lovely tribute to the kind of mother I would aspire to be if I aspired to be a mom. I imagine it was very cathartic to make.
Recommended if the premise interests you.
**This book was provided for free by the publisher in exchange for an honest review via NetGalley**
February 13, 2023
This was a very easy read for me, and a pretty sad one. However it wasn’t as sad as I was expecting. A story of how a family deals with tough diagnosis and continues on with life, but shown through penguins and birds. The art is very pretty too!
May 4, 2023
Any book about a mother's death is going to be sad, but Will's mother seems to have been such a force of goodness and light that A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings is actually surprisingly joyful. This is certainly a celebration of her personality, even to the last days, rather than a gloomy review of cancer wards.
The author chooses to portray all characters as birds, which is certainly a choice. The book is also composed of quick scenes, some of which hit, some of which don't. It's kind of a rushed, jumbled affair that's more heart than forward momentum. There's also quite a bit about being genderqueer, which might have felt like stronger material in a second book? Still a powerful read overall.
The author chooses to portray all characters as birds, which is certainly a choice. The book is also composed of quick scenes, some of which hit, some of which don't. It's kind of a rushed, jumbled affair that's more heart than forward momentum. There's also quite a bit about being genderqueer, which might have felt like stronger material in a second book? Still a powerful read overall.
July 8, 2023
While the author is in college their mom gets a cancer diagnosis. The remaining time they spend together is captured in vignettes of daily life. The humor, love, and grief shine through, and the scratchy illustrations depicting all characters as birds adds a quirky touch to this bittersweet graphic memoir.
September 1, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley and WW Norton & Company for an eARC of A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings by Will Betke-Brunswick in exchange for an honest review.
CW: death of a parent, terminal illness, cancer, homophobia, grief
A graphic memoir depicting the author's personal journey through adolescence against the backdrop of his mother's battle with stage IV cancer. Told in vignettes and snippits, this emotional book highlights the beauty and pain of parent-child relationships.
It is so hard to critique this work because it is such a deeply personal work for this author. I loved the choice they made to depict his family as penguins. Simply adorable. At times, I wished that the narrative would have been a little more continuous, but I respect the decision to share only small moments and memories. I experienced a full range of emotions while reading this book. I laughed, I felt sad, I felt dread, I cried openly. The ending was at once so abrupt, but also so beautiful and heartwarming. My heart goes out to Will for their vulnerability in sharing their story with the world.
CW: death of a parent, terminal illness, cancer, homophobia, grief
A graphic memoir depicting the author's personal journey through adolescence against the backdrop of his mother's battle with stage IV cancer. Told in vignettes and snippits, this emotional book highlights the beauty and pain of parent-child relationships.
It is so hard to critique this work because it is such a deeply personal work for this author. I loved the choice they made to depict his family as penguins. Simply adorable. At times, I wished that the narrative would have been a little more continuous, but I respect the decision to share only small moments and memories. I experienced a full range of emotions while reading this book. I laughed, I felt sad, I felt dread, I cried openly. The ending was at once so abrupt, but also so beautiful and heartwarming. My heart goes out to Will for their vulnerability in sharing their story with the world.
January 6, 2023
Crying at tiny little dumb penguins
April 23, 2023
Emotional, but the graphics were so innocent it was almost a comedy.
July 15, 2024
This is probably one of the worst books to read when you’re an adult child spending weeks with your parents, as I currently am.
April 18, 2023
A very scratchily drawn, very heartfelt memoir of coming out as genderqueer and losing one's mother. With everyone drawn as birds.
January 23, 2025
Short and beautiful. Made me cry
May 9, 2025
Thanks, Pop-Hop in Highland Park, for a wonderful ugly cry at my desk at work.
The days are long, and the months are fast.
The days are long, and the months are fast.
December 4, 2023
i didn’t think a graphic novel where penguins are the main characters would make me cry but here we are 🥲 an amazing book about love, loss, trans identity, grief. and the style of drawing is so unique!!
December 5, 2022
When Will was in college, their mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings illustrates their last ten months together, and the way the illness touched the whole family and all their closest friends. Will Betke-Brunswick illustrates their family as penguins, the other friends as a whole cast of birds, and intersperses childhood memories between scenes of their final months with their mother. A touching story in graphic format, Will takes readers on a journey through gender confusion, family tension, loss, and love.
A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings joins a growing list of graphic memoirs about gender identity that have been published in recent years. The format of this one was pretty unique - instead of people, Betke-Brunswick uses birds for all the characters, and the entire graphic novel is illustrated with only two colors. The story packs some strong emotional punches despite its simplistic art style, and clearly the use of birds helps the author and the readers maintain a little distance from some super tough subjects in the book. I wish that for all the subterfuge to mask the pain there had been more talking, more description to go along with some of the scenes. I got the sense there were definitely rich and interesting stories behind some of the smaller memories in the book, and reading only at the surface level felt like eavesdropping on a private conversation when you know you’re missing something important. In keeping with the theme of light, fleeting memories and small vignettes, the book is a very quick read. I was surprised at how much emotion I felt throughout, but I was left feeling like the story was a little half-baked or even too private and painful to be meant for general readership. A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings doesn’t join my list of most-loved graphic memoirs.
A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings joins a growing list of graphic memoirs about gender identity that have been published in recent years. The format of this one was pretty unique - instead of people, Betke-Brunswick uses birds for all the characters, and the entire graphic novel is illustrated with only two colors. The story packs some strong emotional punches despite its simplistic art style, and clearly the use of birds helps the author and the readers maintain a little distance from some super tough subjects in the book. I wish that for all the subterfuge to mask the pain there had been more talking, more description to go along with some of the scenes. I got the sense there were definitely rich and interesting stories behind some of the smaller memories in the book, and reading only at the surface level felt like eavesdropping on a private conversation when you know you’re missing something important. In keeping with the theme of light, fleeting memories and small vignettes, the book is a very quick read. I was surprised at how much emotion I felt throughout, but I was left feeling like the story was a little half-baked or even too private and painful to be meant for general readership. A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings doesn’t join my list of most-loved graphic memoirs.
April 8, 2023
A library colleague handed me this book and I wonder how much he read of the back- or if he just saw it was a new graphic memoir, and passed it on.
The story is about a family where the mom has been diagnosed with "an aggressive form of a rare cancer" and if you read the back, you'll know they only have 10 more months worth her. ❤️ I'm a current cancer patient, just finished chemotherapy treatment 6 of 15 today... so I wonder if he knew it was so close to home.
Regardless, it was a beautiful story going back and forth between key childhood moments between the author and their mom, and her current situation, going in a month by month countdown.
Two-color treatment throughout- blue and orange. Hand lettering. And everything is better with penguins. 🐧
The story is about a family where the mom has been diagnosed with "an aggressive form of a rare cancer" and if you read the back, you'll know they only have 10 more months worth her. ❤️ I'm a current cancer patient, just finished chemotherapy treatment 6 of 15 today... so I wonder if he knew it was so close to home.
Regardless, it was a beautiful story going back and forth between key childhood moments between the author and their mom, and her current situation, going in a month by month countdown.
Two-color treatment throughout- blue and orange. Hand lettering. And everything is better with penguins. 🐧
December 21, 2022
This book is a memoir of the time from that author's mother's cancer diagnosis through her death. At the time, the author was in college and becoming more secure in their nonbinary identity. The mother comes across as loving, very supportive, smart, and quirky. I enjoyed getting to know her as much as the book allowed. Losing her must have been painful for the whole family (which includes the author's father and sister). The book celebrates her life more than it shows the grief, and that was fine too.
However, the penguins-and-other-birds art style didn't work for me. Personal quirk; I've never liked anthropomorphized animals (or animalmorphized humans?).
However, the penguins-and-other-birds art style didn't work for me. Personal quirk; I've never liked anthropomorphized animals (or animalmorphized humans?).
April 16, 2023
I think that if i was this mom, I’d be totally happy and proud of my kid for having written/drawn it. What a tribute.
January 24, 2023
The author gives themself some space in this deeply personal and emotional story by depicting people as birds in this touching and sad memoir about their mom dying of cancer.
I freaking KNEW she was going to die because the mom seemed so sweet and nice. Like only if your mom dies when you are still young could you remember a person being that wonderful... probably… But maybe she really WAS that nice because the whole family seems so nice!
So, I thought, “these people… er… birds… must be well-educated, like at least grad school…” [Not that all well-educated people are nice, just if you subtract the trauma and stress of poverty that having a white collar job can give you and add the wisdom, tools, and support system you get from being privileged enough to attend higher-higher ed… you usually get people who have the emotional bandwidth to be nice. Anyway…] And the dad is a doctor, I KNEW IT!!! And his doctor knowledge comes in handy because at least he appears to have seen death come before and understand a little on how to navigate the medical system a bit, although to our main character the reality of the impending doom he sees is like a bucket of ice water.
Even though the family is such a close-knit, quirky, loving and understanding bunch, the dad still struggles to understand that his child is gender queer. Which is a great reminder that it’s very hard to have these conversations even when your family IS supportive, or trying to be.
The dad is trying, but his brain really just wants to plop things into a binary or trans pigeonhole, which is incorrect for his child. Which I get, because even though I try really hard to be an ally to the nonbinary people in my life and not misgender them, it’s harder than learning a new language, because if I was just learning French or Xhosa or Arabic pronouns, once I learned the vocabulary, I could then just pull those new words out of my brain. But noooo, because it’s a “new” way of addressing a person in a language I already know, my brain automatically wants to pick binary language. I have had decades of unconsciously assigning people pronouns to fight against. And then sometimes my does really funny things like substituting nonbinary language for people who are binary, like it just throws its hands in the air.
A very sweet, thought provoking and melancholy story that is a coming of age tale and reflection on growing up juxtaposed with the painful process of saying goodbye to the first person we all meet: a mother.
I freaking KNEW she was going to die because the mom seemed so sweet and nice. Like only if your mom dies when you are still young could you remember a person being that wonderful... probably… But maybe she really WAS that nice because the whole family seems so nice!
So, I thought, “these people… er… birds… must be well-educated, like at least grad school…” [Not that all well-educated people are nice, just if you subtract the trauma and stress of poverty that having a white collar job can give you and add the wisdom, tools, and support system you get from being privileged enough to attend higher-higher ed… you usually get people who have the emotional bandwidth to be nice. Anyway…] And the dad is a doctor, I KNEW IT!!! And his doctor knowledge comes in handy because at least he appears to have seen death come before and understand a little on how to navigate the medical system a bit, although to our main character the reality of the impending doom he sees is like a bucket of ice water.
Even though the family is such a close-knit, quirky, loving and understanding bunch, the dad still struggles to understand that his child is gender queer. Which is a great reminder that it’s very hard to have these conversations even when your family IS supportive, or trying to be.
The dad is trying, but his brain really just wants to plop things into a binary or trans pigeonhole, which is incorrect for his child. Which I get, because even though I try really hard to be an ally to the nonbinary people in my life and not misgender them, it’s harder than learning a new language, because if I was just learning French or Xhosa or Arabic pronouns, once I learned the vocabulary, I could then just pull those new words out of my brain. But noooo, because it’s a “new” way of addressing a person in a language I already know, my brain automatically wants to pick binary language. I have had decades of unconsciously assigning people pronouns to fight against. And then sometimes my does really funny things like substituting nonbinary language for people who are binary, like it just throws its hands in the air.
A very sweet, thought provoking and melancholy story that is a coming of age tale and reflection on growing up juxtaposed with the painful process of saying goodbye to the first person we all meet: a mother.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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September 15, 2024(book cws: terminal illness and death of a parent, transphobia / parent who has difficulty accepting their child coming out as genderqueer)
For the book bingo I'm doing alongside a friend, this was my pick for "graphic novel." Found it initially because I follow the publisher, Tin House, and have enjoyed a lot of other stuff they've published.
Graphic memoir detailing the last ten months of Betke-Brunswick's mother's life as she is diagnosed with and passes from terminal cancer. Betke-Brunswick draws the cast of characters as a variety of birds and chronicles the family's negotiating Elizabeth's illness as well as their own process of coming out as genderqueer during that time period.
I really had high hopes for this one given the subject matter and how much I've enjoyed other books from this publisher, but it did not work for me. I can respect the choice to do something differently stylistically (one of the only things I really liked about Flocks was Nichols' choice to portray his gender dysphoria by drawing his younger self as a female ragdoll), but because everyone was drawn as birds, I really didn't feel any emotions off these drawings. There's a scene where they meet someone else around campus and decide to go to a queer club on campus together after each decides the other "looks like someone I want to be friends with," but, like... they're birds. If the point was supposed to be that they looked at each other and, say, saw via clothing or styling the other person might be queer and as such they wanted to make friends, that is not something I'm going to grasp from birds in vaguely drawn human clothes.
Betke-Brunswick also peppers the narrative with moments from their childhood, except with no context and no narration to set the scene, I often felt like I had no idea what I was looking at. Someone on Goodreads accurately compared it to overhearing a conversation but not really having context for what's happening or the feelings involved.
The coming out as genderqueer stuff is fine and worked well for me; I think Betke-Brunswick did capture their father's mixed emotions and difficulty understanding it well. I just felt like the emotional stuff fell flat because the art didn't convey it for me (both because of the birds and because the artwork felt a bit too rough), so overall, this one was a miss.
For the book bingo I'm doing alongside a friend, this was my pick for "graphic novel." Found it initially because I follow the publisher, Tin House, and have enjoyed a lot of other stuff they've published.
Graphic memoir detailing the last ten months of Betke-Brunswick's mother's life as she is diagnosed with and passes from terminal cancer. Betke-Brunswick draws the cast of characters as a variety of birds and chronicles the family's negotiating Elizabeth's illness as well as their own process of coming out as genderqueer during that time period.
I really had high hopes for this one given the subject matter and how much I've enjoyed other books from this publisher, but it did not work for me. I can respect the choice to do something differently stylistically (one of the only things I really liked about Flocks was Nichols' choice to portray his gender dysphoria by drawing his younger self as a female ragdoll), but because everyone was drawn as birds, I really didn't feel any emotions off these drawings. There's a scene where they meet someone else around campus and decide to go to a queer club on campus together after each decides the other "looks like someone I want to be friends with," but, like... they're birds. If the point was supposed to be that they looked at each other and, say, saw via clothing or styling the other person might be queer and as such they wanted to make friends, that is not something I'm going to grasp from birds in vaguely drawn human clothes.
Betke-Brunswick also peppers the narrative with moments from their childhood, except with no context and no narration to set the scene, I often felt like I had no idea what I was looking at. Someone on Goodreads accurately compared it to overhearing a conversation but not really having context for what's happening or the feelings involved.
The coming out as genderqueer stuff is fine and worked well for me; I think Betke-Brunswick did capture their father's mixed emotions and difficulty understanding it well. I just felt like the emotional stuff fell flat because the art didn't convey it for me (both because of the birds and because the artwork felt a bit too rough), so overall, this one was a miss.
August 12, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley for an early copy in exchange for an honest review. Cover and title caught my eye, and then the synopsis clinched it for me requesting it.
For a variety of reasons, mother-child stories, especially when the child is queer or queer-coded, are very hit or miss for me, so I'm always glad to find one that works.
During their sophomore year of college, our MC gets the call that their mother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. The rest of the novel consists of present day scenes of the family and how they're coping, along with flashbacks to various ages and events, some of which have dialogue, and some are just meant to showcase a good memory.
The author depicts everyone as birds of various sorts, so the family we spend time with are penguins. This is an autobiographical novel, but I was a little confused if the author was writing through multiple layers, not only making all of the characters birds, but I couldn't quite tell if our MC was the author or a version of the author? Sort of like On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous, where it's clearly the author's story, but not written as the author.
This was a fairly straight forward graphic novel, and while it didn't have as much focus on our MC's queerness, it does put me in mind of other books like Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic and Gender Queer.
For a variety of reasons, mother-child stories, especially when the child is queer or queer-coded, are very hit or miss for me, so I'm always glad to find one that works.
During their sophomore year of college, our MC gets the call that their mother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. The rest of the novel consists of present day scenes of the family and how they're coping, along with flashbacks to various ages and events, some of which have dialogue, and some are just meant to showcase a good memory.
The author depicts everyone as birds of various sorts, so the family we spend time with are penguins. This is an autobiographical novel, but I was a little confused if the author was writing through multiple layers, not only making all of the characters birds, but I couldn't quite tell if our MC was the author or a version of the author? Sort of like On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous, where it's clearly the author's story, but not written as the author.
This was a fairly straight forward graphic novel, and while it didn't have as much focus on our MC's queerness, it does put me in mind of other books like Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic and Gender Queer.
October 10, 2022
This was a tough one for me. I had to keep stopping to absorb the anticipatory pain. From the description of the book, I knew already that the mother dies, and everything in the memoir relates one way or another to her death. Through fragmented memories, "mumin" is painted as the best kind of mom - understanding, caring, fun, creative, and only very occasionally strict (like, about sunscreen).
Woven throughout the memoir are episodes from the author's gender story. I was particularly interested in this aspect of the book, and I like the message that comes through here. It seemed to me that the author pretty much figured out their comfort point with gender and their parents were pretty much very accepting of it, except that they quickly medicalized and dove into specifics of surgery that their child wasn't actually exploring. I read this as "even the best allies can make wrong assumptions, and the story should always be driven by the person themselves".
I must admit that I was hoping for more crosswords and fewer animals, just given the cover. I was delighted to find at least one crossword, made up of gender expansive terms. The creatures along with a multitude of nicknames and memories fragmented in time occasionally tripped me up so I didn't always understand the reason why a particular scene was included. Once you figure out that the birds are never family members, the panels in boxes are from the past, and mom's hair is another time clue, it gets a lot easier to follow the author's logic.
All in all I'm glad I read this book even though the non-human illustrations were a little out of my comfort zone. It was nice to have a Maia Kobabe quote on the cover (their memoir is one of my favorites!) reminding me that the book is "deeply human".
Woven throughout the memoir are episodes from the author's gender story. I was particularly interested in this aspect of the book, and I like the message that comes through here. It seemed to me that the author pretty much figured out their comfort point with gender and their parents were pretty much very accepting of it, except that they quickly medicalized and dove into specifics of surgery that their child wasn't actually exploring. I read this as "even the best allies can make wrong assumptions, and the story should always be driven by the person themselves".
I must admit that I was hoping for more crosswords and fewer animals, just given the cover. I was delighted to find at least one crossword, made up of gender expansive terms. The creatures along with a multitude of nicknames and memories fragmented in time occasionally tripped me up so I didn't always understand the reason why a particular scene was included. Once you figure out that the birds are never family members, the panels in boxes are from the past, and mom's hair is another time clue, it gets a lot easier to follow the author's logic.
All in all I'm glad I read this book even though the non-human illustrations were a little out of my comfort zone. It was nice to have a Maia Kobabe quote on the cover (their memoir is one of my favorites!) reminding me that the book is "deeply human".
September 25, 2022
A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings is a graphic memoir by Will Berke-Brunswick and follows their journey dealing with their identity and their mother’s terminal cancer diagnosis.
While the drawings seem simple at first glance, I feel like it actually lends itself well to the story. The story is very hard hitting and so the illustrations don’t take away any from the impact of the story. This book manages to pack a lot of story in very few words and images. We follow a present timeline but also have a few flashbacks to the past to show how the main character grew up and how much of a connection they have with their mother. The father character is painfully realistic when it comes to dealing with a child who is coming to terms with their identity and a wife who is very sick.
I was not expecting this book to tug on my heart strings like it did. I teared up quite a bit at the end. I feel like this book will definitely have an emotional impact on some people. I would compare this to a lot of other graphic novels that use a simple art style to tell a deeper story like “Everyone’s a Aliebn When Ur an Aliebn Too” and “The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse.” I know I’ll be picking up this book when it comes out.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book ahead of its release. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
While the drawings seem simple at first glance, I feel like it actually lends itself well to the story. The story is very hard hitting and so the illustrations don’t take away any from the impact of the story. This book manages to pack a lot of story in very few words and images. We follow a present timeline but also have a few flashbacks to the past to show how the main character grew up and how much of a connection they have with their mother. The father character is painfully realistic when it comes to dealing with a child who is coming to terms with their identity and a wife who is very sick.
I was not expecting this book to tug on my heart strings like it did. I teared up quite a bit at the end. I feel like this book will definitely have an emotional impact on some people. I would compare this to a lot of other graphic novels that use a simple art style to tell a deeper story like “Everyone’s a Aliebn When Ur an Aliebn Too” and “The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse.” I know I’ll be picking up this book when it comes out.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book ahead of its release. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
July 29, 2022
Will is a non-binary cartoonist who you absolutely don't want to miss. One look at these little birds will have you laughing, crying, and gripping the cover as you hold on for the ride of your life.
Will tells the story of their mother's last few months - of the awkward planning that happens, of the messy conversations we never want to have - and shows us the little moments of joy, of hilarity, and of heart-wrenching reality. Their cartooning style is scrappy and raw, and never fails to showcase their emotional journey.
It's a rare and beautiful thing to come across a book that sees you. This graphic memoir is about love, grief, and everything in between. It's about queerness and identity in a way that fits into the greater picture of life. It's about living life and learning to love it, even when it hurts. It's about looking directly at your pain and living anyway.
This is one of my favourite books of all time. If you're a fan of Maia Kobabe's graphic memoir Gender Queer: A Memoir, you will love this book.
Will tells the story of their mother's last few months - of the awkward planning that happens, of the messy conversations we never want to have - and shows us the little moments of joy, of hilarity, and of heart-wrenching reality. Their cartooning style is scrappy and raw, and never fails to showcase their emotional journey.
It's a rare and beautiful thing to come across a book that sees you. This graphic memoir is about love, grief, and everything in between. It's about queerness and identity in a way that fits into the greater picture of life. It's about living life and learning to love it, even when it hurts. It's about looking directly at your pain and living anyway.
This is one of my favourite books of all time. If you're a fan of Maia Kobabe's graphic memoir Gender Queer: A Memoir, you will love this book.
November 26, 2022
(Full disclosure: I received a free e-ARC for review through Netgalley.)
When Will Betke-Brunswick was a sophomore in college, their beloved mother Elizabeth was diagnosed with cancer. Will moved back home to help their family navigate this difficult journey - and, ultimately, to spend as much time with Mumin as possible. Chronicled here, their days are filled with chemo treatments, family therapy, shared "lasts" (last family vacation, last meal), and the expected anticipatory grief.
Yet sprinkled throughout are moments of joy, tenderness, and hope, as the family is so often buoyed by their matriarch. Through flashbacks, we're treated to Will's memories of their mother in happier times: deliberately breaking the kitchen sink to score a play date with her kids, or listening to HIS DARK MATERIALS on car rides home.
During this time, Will was also coming out as genderqueer; whereas mom is immediately on board, dad struggles a bit to wrap his head around it, amplifying the tension in their relationship. (Dad adopts a more practical approach to his wife's impending death - staying up late to pen an obituary in advance, for example - whereas Will just wants to live in the here and now.) In an especially sweet scene, Elizabeth makes Will a genderqueer crossword puzzle, underscoring the preciousness of their bond.
In an interesting twist, Betke-Brunswick depicts their family as a waddle of penguins, and the supporting characters are variety of different birds. While charming, this left me struggling to tell everyone apart, at least at first.
Since I read this at a low emotional point (winter blues, ugh), I expected it to hit a little harder, but it wasn't until the last dozen or so pages that I was really bawling. (The family carrying Mumin on her final passage really struck a chord.) It feels like the anthropomorphic penguins should have made me feel more connected to the material (animal person here), but perhaps it had the opposite effect?
When Will Betke-Brunswick was a sophomore in college, their beloved mother Elizabeth was diagnosed with cancer. Will moved back home to help their family navigate this difficult journey - and, ultimately, to spend as much time with Mumin as possible. Chronicled here, their days are filled with chemo treatments, family therapy, shared "lasts" (last family vacation, last meal), and the expected anticipatory grief.
Yet sprinkled throughout are moments of joy, tenderness, and hope, as the family is so often buoyed by their matriarch. Through flashbacks, we're treated to Will's memories of their mother in happier times: deliberately breaking the kitchen sink to score a play date with her kids, or listening to HIS DARK MATERIALS on car rides home.
During this time, Will was also coming out as genderqueer; whereas mom is immediately on board, dad struggles a bit to wrap his head around it, amplifying the tension in their relationship. (Dad adopts a more practical approach to his wife's impending death - staying up late to pen an obituary in advance, for example - whereas Will just wants to live in the here and now.) In an especially sweet scene, Elizabeth makes Will a genderqueer crossword puzzle, underscoring the preciousness of their bond.
In an interesting twist, Betke-Brunswick depicts their family as a waddle of penguins, and the supporting characters are variety of different birds. While charming, this left me struggling to tell everyone apart, at least at first.
Since I read this at a low emotional point (winter blues, ugh), I expected it to hit a little harder, but it wasn't until the last dozen or so pages that I was really bawling. (The family carrying Mumin on her final passage really struck a chord.) It feels like the anthropomorphic penguins should have made me feel more connected to the material (animal person here), but perhaps it had the opposite effect?
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