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Meet Me Tonight in Atlantic City
In the late 1980s on the Jersey shore, Jane Wong watches her mother shake ants from an MSG bin behind the family’s Chinese restaurant. She is a hungry daughter frying crab rangoon for lunch, a child sneaking naps on bags of rice, a playful sister scheming to trap her brother in the freezer before he traps her first. She is part of a family staking their claim to the American dream, even as this dream crumbles. Beneath Atlantic City’s promise lies her father’s gambling addiction, an addiction that causes him to disappear for days and ultimately leads to the loss of the restaurant.
In her debut memoir, Wong tells a new story about Atlantic City, one that resists a single identity, a single story, as she writes about making do with what you have—and what you don’t. What does it mean, she asks, to be both tender and angry? What is strength without vulnerability—and humor? Filled with beauty found in unexpected places, Meet Me Tonight in Atlantic City is a resounding love song of the Asian American working class, a portrait of how we become who we are, and a story of lyric wisdom to hold and to share.
In her debut memoir, Wong tells a new story about Atlantic City, one that resists a single identity, a single story, as she writes about making do with what you have—and what you don’t. What does it mean, she asks, to be both tender and angry? What is strength without vulnerability—and humor? Filled with beauty found in unexpected places, Meet Me Tonight in Atlantic City is a resounding love song of the Asian American working class, a portrait of how we become who we are, and a story of lyric wisdom to hold and to share.
304 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 16, 2023
185 people are currently reading
7026 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 222 reviews
December 10, 2025
time for me to come clean. i'm a new jersey apologist
(review to come)
(review to come)
June 2, 2023
3.5 stars
For the first half of this memoir I leaned toward three stars. I liked a lot of the content though I found it difficult to immerse myself in the writing style. Jane Wong has published poetry predominantly, and I think that’s evident in how she writes this book. There’s not really a concrete or linear flow of events, and at times I wasn’t sure what certain sentences meant (e.g., “What does it take to want myself? I stare deeper. I slurp noodle after noodle, ravenous. The noodles bounce back against my teeth, deliciously resistant to the bite.” … so… how does this relate to wanting yourself? Also how are the noodles resistant to your bite??)
However, Wong seems like such a lovely and thoughtful person that I found myself still enjoying her life stories by the end of the book. I liked reading about her honoring her anger as an Asian American woman, her experience growing up working-class, how she found her way with writing in predominantly white literary spaces, her deep connection with her friends, and her wholesome relationship with her mom and her complex relationship with her dad. Even how she wrote about her students, I could tell she’s a caring person who’s invested in both creating and supporting Asian American literature. Thus, even though the writing style of Meet Me Tonight in Atlantic City isn’t my favorite, I believe that Wong bared her soul both honestly and powerfully in its pages.
For the first half of this memoir I leaned toward three stars. I liked a lot of the content though I found it difficult to immerse myself in the writing style. Jane Wong has published poetry predominantly, and I think that’s evident in how she writes this book. There’s not really a concrete or linear flow of events, and at times I wasn’t sure what certain sentences meant (e.g., “What does it take to want myself? I stare deeper. I slurp noodle after noodle, ravenous. The noodles bounce back against my teeth, deliciously resistant to the bite.” … so… how does this relate to wanting yourself? Also how are the noodles resistant to your bite??)
However, Wong seems like such a lovely and thoughtful person that I found myself still enjoying her life stories by the end of the book. I liked reading about her honoring her anger as an Asian American woman, her experience growing up working-class, how she found her way with writing in predominantly white literary spaces, her deep connection with her friends, and her wholesome relationship with her mom and her complex relationship with her dad. Even how she wrote about her students, I could tell she’s a caring person who’s invested in both creating and supporting Asian American literature. Thus, even though the writing style of Meet Me Tonight in Atlantic City isn’t my favorite, I believe that Wong bared her soul both honestly and powerfully in its pages.
February 9, 2023
I am biased. Author is my sister from another mister BUT I have excellent taste in books and lifelong friends. I’ve been lucky enough to get to read this pre-publication and I’m so excited for it to be in the world soon.
May 13, 2023
This was a beautiful and poetic memoir. It took a little bit for the writing style to fully sweep me away but once I was able to join the flow it was hard to put this book down. I loved how raw and honest the author was. It felt like a privilege to get to read this. I will admit parts of this made me uncomfortable as the author bared her trauma and the racist behavior she has experienced again and again. It was clear to me from the first page that this author is truly a poet and it makes me very interested in reading some of her poetry. Overall I gave this one 4.5 stars rounded up because I can tell that this book will be sticking with me.
October 13, 2023
This is a poetic and vulnerable memoir that explores the author's life growing up as a low-income, working-class Chinese-American immigrant child. She wrote the book as a love story to her mother and an exploration of the American dream's struggles and resilience. The author recollects her father's gambling addiction and its consequences on their complex family dynamics. Her story is deeply rooted in the emotional impact of estrangement, familial trauma, and the domino effect of her father's absence. Despite the challenging experiences, she finds empathy and understanding for her father. She explores her relationships, including her struggles with a string of unsatisfying relationships, which she bravely connects to her father's absence and the societal stereotype of "daddy issues."
Expertly moving back and forth in time, the author gives readers a multidimensional view of her family. She also highlights the allure of Atlantic City, lyrically intertwining its history with her own narrative, shedding light on the city's rise and fall and its effect on her family. Gripping and raw, and sometimes even funny, Meet Me Tonight in Atlantic City masterfully conveys the author's emotional experiences.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://shows.acast.com/moms-dont-hav...
Expertly moving back and forth in time, the author gives readers a multidimensional view of her family. She also highlights the allure of Atlantic City, lyrically intertwining its history with her own narrative, shedding light on the city's rise and fall and its effect on her family. Gripping and raw, and sometimes even funny, Meet Me Tonight in Atlantic City masterfully conveys the author's emotional experiences.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://shows.acast.com/moms-dont-hav...
March 10, 2023
I received an ARC from the publisher as part of a Goodreads giveaway.
The writing style of this memoir threw me off at first because I didn't know anything about the author and therefore did not expect so much metaphor and poetic language, but once I got used to the writing style I ended up really enjoying this book.
Jane Wong constructs a non-linear narrative of her life, jumping between her childhood in Atlantic City, her college days, and her current life in Seattle. There is much focus placed on how Wong being a Chinese American woman with immigrant parents has impacted the way she is viewed and treated by others, as well as what kind of expectations and ideas she has in regards to herself.
There are a lot of unique relationships discussed throughout the memoir but by far my favorite was the one between the author and her mother. You can really feel the love between the pages when Wong writes out the many conversations and experiences the two of them have shared together.
Memoirs are not something I read often, but for what it's worth I couldn't get enough of this one.
P.S. "The Auditor" is my new favorite thing.
The writing style of this memoir threw me off at first because I didn't know anything about the author and therefore did not expect so much metaphor and poetic language, but once I got used to the writing style I ended up really enjoying this book.
Jane Wong constructs a non-linear narrative of her life, jumping between her childhood in Atlantic City, her college days, and her current life in Seattle. There is much focus placed on how Wong being a Chinese American woman with immigrant parents has impacted the way she is viewed and treated by others, as well as what kind of expectations and ideas she has in regards to herself.
There are a lot of unique relationships discussed throughout the memoir but by far my favorite was the one between the author and her mother. You can really feel the love between the pages when Wong writes out the many conversations and experiences the two of them have shared together.
Memoirs are not something I read often, but for what it's worth I couldn't get enough of this one.
P.S. "The Auditor" is my new favorite thing.
May 20, 2023
MEET ME TONIGHT IN ATLANTIC CITY is utterly alive; it’s a bleeding, beating heart; a vulnerable offering. I emerged from its pages with my hair coated in joss paper smoke and smelling of steamed fish, feeling as if I left some part of me within even as Wong gave raw aching parts of her to me, feeling as touched as Wong does when sitting across an imaginary table of other Wongs, as “generations of Asian American women [nourish] each other across time, space, and so much unnecessary loneliness.” I am nourished.
It’s hard to put a finger on what type of memoir this is. A memoir by a poet, yes—the prose is lush, vibrant, delectable. Anxiety as clumping rice noodles with no cold rinse, time as mosquito bite scars fading, desire as a packed flower, and tomatoes—a mother’s laugh like a tomato bursting, and hugs ripe as one about to burst. A memoir that squishes memoir boundaries like the boundaries don’t exist, yes—paragraphs erupt into poems erupt nonlinearity. Here is Wong as a child, then as an adult, then as a child again. A memoir: “Isn’t this how it really is? Returning to the wisdom of a younger self?”
But at its heart of hearts, MEET ME TONIGHT IN ATLANTIC CITY is writing about love, into love. Wong worries away at this: that the publishing industry and the readers push marginalized writers to produce “[i]mmigrant gold, intergenerational trauma dessert.” How to write on heartbreak, on chosen silence without giving up your worth? “What happens when your archive is a ghost?” So she fills it in the gaps left by silence, by pain, by absence with beautiful imaginings: ghosts, first and foremost, of parents’ past (ancestral villages, people she thinks they were, people they’d never be); she fills them in with the kept bloodline of a fish, hauntings she invites us not to fear but to embrace. She finds poems in loved ones, in ceramic pots, in love and not just heartbreak—and when there is heartbreak, she reclaims what is hers, mouths her name, falls in love with it all over it, or calls her mother to be reminded of it. She is unbelievably tender with her father, creating a revenge list but leaving his name out of it, “pray[ing] that he is still there, still alive, still able to blink and wonder from time to time, Where is my daughter, where is the girl.”
Wong has given us this gift of her heart. And yes, I winced at the terrible library pick up lines. And yes, I circled this: “I’m fucking done explaining.” 💕
[Thanks to the publisher for the gifted copy--also to the author for sending me a handmade ceramic dumpling which literally made my day omg]
It’s hard to put a finger on what type of memoir this is. A memoir by a poet, yes—the prose is lush, vibrant, delectable. Anxiety as clumping rice noodles with no cold rinse, time as mosquito bite scars fading, desire as a packed flower, and tomatoes—a mother’s laugh like a tomato bursting, and hugs ripe as one about to burst. A memoir that squishes memoir boundaries like the boundaries don’t exist, yes—paragraphs erupt into poems erupt nonlinearity. Here is Wong as a child, then as an adult, then as a child again. A memoir: “Isn’t this how it really is? Returning to the wisdom of a younger self?”
But at its heart of hearts, MEET ME TONIGHT IN ATLANTIC CITY is writing about love, into love. Wong worries away at this: that the publishing industry and the readers push marginalized writers to produce “[i]mmigrant gold, intergenerational trauma dessert.” How to write on heartbreak, on chosen silence without giving up your worth? “What happens when your archive is a ghost?” So she fills it in the gaps left by silence, by pain, by absence with beautiful imaginings: ghosts, first and foremost, of parents’ past (ancestral villages, people she thinks they were, people they’d never be); she fills them in with the kept bloodline of a fish, hauntings she invites us not to fear but to embrace. She finds poems in loved ones, in ceramic pots, in love and not just heartbreak—and when there is heartbreak, she reclaims what is hers, mouths her name, falls in love with it all over it, or calls her mother to be reminded of it. She is unbelievably tender with her father, creating a revenge list but leaving his name out of it, “pray[ing] that he is still there, still alive, still able to blink and wonder from time to time, Where is my daughter, where is the girl.”
Wong has given us this gift of her heart. And yes, I winced at the terrible library pick up lines. And yes, I circled this: “I’m fucking done explaining.” 💕
[Thanks to the publisher for the gifted copy--also to the author for sending me a handmade ceramic dumpling which literally made my day omg]
February 21, 2023
i feel so, so lucky to have been able to read this book pre-publication via ARC. allow me to speak candidly: Holy Fuck!
i felt so many things as i read— love, rage, tenderness, curiosity, mystification, tenderness, love (and much more). gratitude, gratitude, gratitude that this book, this person, exists. (and her mom, too. special shoutout to her.)
this book is vulnerable and ferocious. from the heart of a poet. it’s magic.
my copy is tagged up and down into neon oblivion.
Jane Wong, Motherfuckers!!!!
Read Read Read!!!!
i felt so many things as i read— love, rage, tenderness, curiosity, mystification, tenderness, love (and much more). gratitude, gratitude, gratitude that this book, this person, exists. (and her mom, too. special shoutout to her.)
this book is vulnerable and ferocious. from the heart of a poet. it’s magic.
my copy is tagged up and down into neon oblivion.
Jane Wong, Motherfuckers!!!!
Read Read Read!!!!
October 1, 2023
This was very beautiful - the writing is *chef’s kiss* - just gorgeous language that has you re-reading lines to really savor what’s being said. Wong’s portrait of her mother is a warm hug in language, and the loving way she describes her family in general is really moving. Also, as a fellow Jersey kid, I really appreciate the “Jerseyness” sprinkled throughout (the comment about wanting to play “Born to Run” when Bruce showed up at a local gym made me snort).
Also, not related to the writing itself but the hermit crab cover art? Perfect.
Also, not related to the writing itself but the hermit crab cover art? Perfect.
June 8, 2023
Poignant. Heartbreaking. A beautiful life so undeserving of the pain endured. Definitely wishing Jane nothing but warmth and happiness. Thankful to her to share such personal stories.
February 28, 2024
A deeply personal and vulnerable memoir, "Meet Me Tonight in Atlantic City" is poet Jane Wong's look back on her life, a meditation on moments and memories from childhood to her present growing up in Atlantic City in a Chinese-American family.
The memoir doesn't follow the typical chronological pattern, instead pulling together similar themes and topics across its chapters. Across these passages, we piece together key points of Wong's life - growing up with gambling addicted, frequently absent father; her fierce love and admiration for her mother (and her friend's invention of WongMom.Com); being in an abusive relationship; the simultaneous fetishization and demoralization of Asian women; and the omnipresence of food as a source of both nourishment and love. She interweaves a number of historical and contemporary pieces of literature as reference throughout, as well as various media sources to help highlight her points, and her musings on the recent pandemic make it even easier to connect to her messages.
I have not read any of Wong's earlier work before this book, but it's clear from her prose and writing that she is a poet. The choice of wording, the way the sentences and syllables are structured and flow - it is beautifully lyrical and makes so many passages memorable and emotional. There are so many moments in her past (and present) that she lays bare, moments of shame and weakness that most of us would likely wish to forget, that it feels less like a memoir and more a conversation with a close friend. I have to commend her for sharing so much of herself with us as, in her shoes, I'm sure I'd be nothing short of terrified to do so. Her story and voice, however, are a welcome addition to the AAPI community of authors and writers, and I can only hope that she will continue writing for many years.
The memoir doesn't follow the typical chronological pattern, instead pulling together similar themes and topics across its chapters. Across these passages, we piece together key points of Wong's life - growing up with gambling addicted, frequently absent father; her fierce love and admiration for her mother (and her friend's invention of WongMom.Com); being in an abusive relationship; the simultaneous fetishization and demoralization of Asian women; and the omnipresence of food as a source of both nourishment and love. She interweaves a number of historical and contemporary pieces of literature as reference throughout, as well as various media sources to help highlight her points, and her musings on the recent pandemic make it even easier to connect to her messages.
I have not read any of Wong's earlier work before this book, but it's clear from her prose and writing that she is a poet. The choice of wording, the way the sentences and syllables are structured and flow - it is beautifully lyrical and makes so many passages memorable and emotional. There are so many moments in her past (and present) that she lays bare, moments of shame and weakness that most of us would likely wish to forget, that it feels less like a memoir and more a conversation with a close friend. I have to commend her for sharing so much of herself with us as, in her shoes, I'm sure I'd be nothing short of terrified to do so. Her story and voice, however, are a welcome addition to the AAPI community of authors and writers, and I can only hope that she will continue writing for many years.
May 8, 2023
In the 1980s on the Jersey Shore, the Wong family is part of a new generation of immigrants trying to stake their claim for the American Dream, even as this dream crumbles. Beneath the promises Atlantic City holds lie her father's gambling addiction, ultimately leading to losing the family restaurant.
MEET ME is a beautifully written memoir/essay that blends Wong's story of growing up as a restaurant baby in New Jersey, finding her way through a fractured family with an absent father, and reflections on the disappearing men in her life.
MEET ME isn't chronologically ordered due to the mixture of personal stories and essays, but that didn't affect my reading experience at all. In fact, I relish the experimental writing style that focuses on different topics in each chapter. Wong covers the predatory nature of the gambling industry targeting Asians, the economic & cultural barriers for immigrants seeking healthcare, dating problematic white men, cultural appropriation of Asian food by white chefs to "elevate" ethnic foods, breaking into a majority white space as an Asian American woman, and so much more.
I particularly love Wong's relationship with her mom, whom she calls "wongmom.com," like a website that gives you helpful life advice with humor & honesty. Wong's writing on their conversations made me miss my mom so much, even when sometimes mom's responses are so brutally honest 🤣
MEET ME is an introspective and poignant memoir that had me gasping, crying, aching, and laughing. It'll make an incredible & unique Mother's Day gift for those looking for one!
Thank you to Tin House for the gifted ARC
MEET ME is a beautifully written memoir/essay that blends Wong's story of growing up as a restaurant baby in New Jersey, finding her way through a fractured family with an absent father, and reflections on the disappearing men in her life.
MEET ME isn't chronologically ordered due to the mixture of personal stories and essays, but that didn't affect my reading experience at all. In fact, I relish the experimental writing style that focuses on different topics in each chapter. Wong covers the predatory nature of the gambling industry targeting Asians, the economic & cultural barriers for immigrants seeking healthcare, dating problematic white men, cultural appropriation of Asian food by white chefs to "elevate" ethnic foods, breaking into a majority white space as an Asian American woman, and so much more.
I particularly love Wong's relationship with her mom, whom she calls "wongmom.com," like a website that gives you helpful life advice with humor & honesty. Wong's writing on their conversations made me miss my mom so much, even when sometimes mom's responses are so brutally honest 🤣
MEET ME is an introspective and poignant memoir that had me gasping, crying, aching, and laughing. It'll make an incredible & unique Mother's Day gift for those looking for one!
Thank you to Tin House for the gifted ARC
August 7, 2023
Jane Wong’s endearing and enjoyable Jersey Shore / writer coming of age memoir. I came across this and for a moment thought my spouse had written it, given how similar their backgrounds are. This is a sensitive and rich portrayal of the author’s inner life, her insecurities and victories, her experiences as an Asian American woman and a poet, all the dubious exes. You can’t help but root for her. Mangoes forever!
not-finished
April 9, 2023The nonlinear format of this book really threw me. Although I don't typically mind that format, it only works for me if I have a strong foundation and connection to the characters and the setting. I was expecting the writing to be lyrical and poetic, but it came across to me as more abrasive and trying too hard.
DNF @ 3%.
Thanks to NetGalley and Tin House for the ARC.
DNF @ 3%.
Thanks to NetGalley and Tin House for the ARC.
May 22, 2023
MEET ME TONIGHT IN ATLANTIC CITY is a memoir about Jane Wong, growing up as a restaurant baby in New Jersey with an absent father.
With a non-linear narrative, Wong shows vulnerability from page 1. As she paddles through love and pushes through fears, the majority is about relationships - dating (problematic) white boyfriends; haunted by the abandonment; dealing with racism and erasure.
From visits to illegal dentists to Chinese beauty standards (whiteness) to cultural appropriation, this memoir is both a dense and quirky human adventure. The poetic prose highlights how much Wong thinks about her life through poetry, delivering the most sincere reactions. The author examines Postal service and gambling industry targeting Asian Americans (specifically Chinese Americans), offering so much food for thought. I loved getting a glimpse of the author's creative writing process and dive into poetry.
At the beginning of each chapter, there's a short section with black border and a photo, in which Wong has intimate talks with 'wongmom.com' as if chatting with her mother, while 'wongmom.com' offers life advices. My favorite part was Wong's relationship with her mother and brother, and those moments made me yearn for my own.
This memoir felt like loose episodes, in essays format and it gave a creative and fast-paced touch to the book.
MEET ME TONIGHT IN ATLANTIC CITY is provocative in its own way and provides profound reflections. Humorous, beautiful and brutally honest.
[ I received a complimentary copy from the publisher - Tin House . All opinions are my own ]
With a non-linear narrative, Wong shows vulnerability from page 1. As she paddles through love and pushes through fears, the majority is about relationships - dating (problematic) white boyfriends; haunted by the abandonment; dealing with racism and erasure.
From visits to illegal dentists to Chinese beauty standards (whiteness) to cultural appropriation, this memoir is both a dense and quirky human adventure. The poetic prose highlights how much Wong thinks about her life through poetry, delivering the most sincere reactions. The author examines Postal service and gambling industry targeting Asian Americans (specifically Chinese Americans), offering so much food for thought. I loved getting a glimpse of the author's creative writing process and dive into poetry.
At the beginning of each chapter, there's a short section with black border and a photo, in which Wong has intimate talks with 'wongmom.com' as if chatting with her mother, while 'wongmom.com' offers life advices. My favorite part was Wong's relationship with her mother and brother, and those moments made me yearn for my own.
This memoir felt like loose episodes, in essays format and it gave a creative and fast-paced touch to the book.
MEET ME TONIGHT IN ATLANTIC CITY is provocative in its own way and provides profound reflections. Humorous, beautiful and brutally honest.
[ I received a complimentary copy from the publisher - Tin House . All opinions are my own ]
April 17, 2023
*NOTE: This was an Advanced Readers Copy. I want to thank both Goodreads and the Author for giving me the opportunity to win and read this Memoir.*
This was a pleasure to read. Jane Wong's talent really came through in this Memoir, every sentence beautiful and poetic, down to the simplest details. I respect all she went through in life and how she got through it all. I laughed, smiled and felt the same cringe she did while reading her experiences in life. I also learned a bit about poetry and appreciated the deeper meaning involved.
This was a pleasure to read. Jane Wong's talent really came through in this Memoir, every sentence beautiful and poetic, down to the simplest details. I respect all she went through in life and how she got through it all. I laughed, smiled and felt the same cringe she did while reading her experiences in life. I also learned a bit about poetry and appreciated the deeper meaning involved.
Read
May 24, 2023I left off of this very quickly due to the writing style. Dramatic overuse of abstract simile, and written in such a way that I can't hear it in anything other than the husky voice of the action movie preview guy ("One man.... one mission.... He will stop at nothing to save his city... but is he too broken?" ..huge bass drop, then surprise explosion). But for all that, then it's just like, about this girl's life growing up.
May 14, 2023
I was interested in the author’s family history and stories. I just couldn’t get past the writing style. It was choppy, disjointed, and jumped around.
I got lost numerous times and has to keep circling back to figure out where I was.
Thanks to WW Norton and Edelweiss for the digital copy.
I got lost numerous times and has to keep circling back to figure out where I was.
Thanks to WW Norton and Edelweiss for the digital copy.
November 23, 2023
I heard the author speak earlier this month at the Portland Book Festival and I was intrigued almost immediately as she started speaking about her book. Such a beautiful memoir. Jane’s mom is such a gem and I admire her for working at the postal service for almost 30 years!! Thank you Jane’s mom!
September 30, 2023
I enjoyed this a lot and I resonated with so much that the author shares in this. But the book felt a little all over the place and repetitive at times (probably intentional, but I wasn't a fan).
March 14, 2024
SO good. Really powerful. Her way with words is truly next level. I feel like anything I write here will not capture how well written and thought provoking this memoir is. Expressive, different, insightful, vulnerable, everything.
It did take me a couple of chapters to adjust to the author’s writing style, but once I caught on, the writing style really enhanced the impact that the memoir had on me.
It did take me a couple of chapters to adjust to the author’s writing style, but once I caught on, the writing style really enhanced the impact that the memoir had on me.
June 12, 2024
Jane Wong, I will read any and everything you write.
I knew this was going to be a favorite early on. The poetic prose of this memoir felt like bobbing in the waves of the Atlantic Ocean at the Jersey Shore. A high I will be chasing for quite some time.
I knew this was going to be a favorite early on. The poetic prose of this memoir felt like bobbing in the waves of the Atlantic Ocean at the Jersey Shore. A high I will be chasing for quite some time.
December 18, 2025
Wow…just wow. Jane Wong beautifully intertwines personal narratives, research, and family memory into fresh and compelling essays. She refuses to accept essentialist narratives about Chinese American stories, but does not dismiss the ways her particular experience exists within a larger context and is enhanced by it. Her writing voice carries so much power, yearning, and love. We need more memoirs like this!
June 2, 2024
I loooved this book! So creatively written and in so many parts felt like she was speaking directly to me!
May 16, 2023
The truth is: I’m terrible at being Chinese, I don’t have strict parents, and I’m just okay at Ping-Pong.
An incredibly charming memoir about growing up in a Chinese restaurant in New Jersey, family, relationships, and poetry.
Truly a delightful piece of non-fiction that will make you salivate for dragonfruit, wontons, mangoes, and hoisin sauce smothered ribs. The relationship between Wong and her mother was so refreshing and beautiful. The sections about her brother made me cry and miss my own little brother.
And I learned so much--about Mao's famine, about what it's like to date men as an Asian American woman, and about the post office system.
Out today! Further thoughts coming soon.
Thank you Tin House for accepting my request for an early copy in exchange for a review.
August 3, 2023
This seemed to be a collection of random thoughts, many of which center on Wong's many failed relationships. I struggled unsuccessfully to find the common thread to pull this collection together.
June 4, 2023
[Copy provided by publisher]
READ IF YOU LIKE...
• Beautifully composed essays
• Exploring the experience of growing up Asian American in America
• Strong mother and daughter relationships
I THOUGHT IT WAS...
A metaphorically rich memoir that reads like a series of poetic essays. Wong dives into the different facets of who she is through poignantly themed essays. She fixates on the strong white teeth of white people as a symbol of wealth and privilege while describing a childhood where her parents constantly struggled with money. She breaks down the story behind her name while also using it as a framework to recount the racism she experiences because of it. And she richly describes the atmosphere of Atlantic City as an exploration into the struggle many Asian immigrants have with gambling, her own father included.
Overall, I loved Wong's writing. Wong is a poet and it pleasantly shows. She has such a strong command of language and uses it in unique, powerful ways. Much of what she shares resonated with me. I really felt like I was watching her climb firmly into herself as the book progressed, better understanding her anxieties, her fears, her insecurities, and her strengths.
I do feel that the book starts strong but slowly loses its tight composition as it progresses. Additionally, many of the chapters of the book were previously published as standalone essays and sometimes it shows. There are sentiments that start to feel slightly repetitive. I can understand the need for the context within a standalone essay, but not when it's already been established as part of a larger book. However, these are nitpicky critiques. This is a strong, well-written memoir worthy of a read.
READ IF YOU LIKE...
• Beautifully composed essays
• Exploring the experience of growing up Asian American in America
• Strong mother and daughter relationships
I THOUGHT IT WAS...
A metaphorically rich memoir that reads like a series of poetic essays. Wong dives into the different facets of who she is through poignantly themed essays. She fixates on the strong white teeth of white people as a symbol of wealth and privilege while describing a childhood where her parents constantly struggled with money. She breaks down the story behind her name while also using it as a framework to recount the racism she experiences because of it. And she richly describes the atmosphere of Atlantic City as an exploration into the struggle many Asian immigrants have with gambling, her own father included.
Overall, I loved Wong's writing. Wong is a poet and it pleasantly shows. She has such a strong command of language and uses it in unique, powerful ways. Much of what she shares resonated with me. I really felt like I was watching her climb firmly into herself as the book progressed, better understanding her anxieties, her fears, her insecurities, and her strengths.
I do feel that the book starts strong but slowly loses its tight composition as it progresses. Additionally, many of the chapters of the book were previously published as standalone essays and sometimes it shows. There are sentiments that start to feel slightly repetitive. I can understand the need for the context within a standalone essay, but not when it's already been established as part of a larger book. However, these are nitpicky critiques. This is a strong, well-written memoir worthy of a read.
July 30, 2023
I would have liked more if the title used more intense editing to achieve less verbosity. Or did I expect it unfairly more due to the author being a poet? That the book's presentation --a memoir in essays--already is premised the structural and editorial issues that I found redundant and ineffective.
December 18, 2024
Do not read this book if you are not Jane Wong because you are “not like her”, and so this one ain’t for you. For someone who apparently teaches on “othering,” it was astounding how much she uses this tactic in her own writing.
I enjoyed the food references, but wouldn’t feel welcome at Wong’s table. She has an unreasonable threshold for what is considered appropriation and an unhealthy disdain for when white people dare to cook Asian food. There was even a part where she talked about waking up and thinking about what’s for dinner (which I often do too!) but she quickly caveats this as an experience exclusively shared with her “Asian American” friends.
I understand that memoirs are often for the self; a healing expression and cathartic act. And while she experienced many forms of universal trauma, Wong chose to channel most of her hate toward a race and gender rather than a more inclusive experience that many of us could have shared and empathized with. Her inability to be reflective of her own shortcomings or take accountability for her actions made her insufferable. Everything was someone else’s fault. She is a one note author: victim.
I enjoyed the food references, but wouldn’t feel welcome at Wong’s table. She has an unreasonable threshold for what is considered appropriation and an unhealthy disdain for when white people dare to cook Asian food. There was even a part where she talked about waking up and thinking about what’s for dinner (which I often do too!) but she quickly caveats this as an experience exclusively shared with her “Asian American” friends.
I understand that memoirs are often for the self; a healing expression and cathartic act. And while she experienced many forms of universal trauma, Wong chose to channel most of her hate toward a race and gender rather than a more inclusive experience that many of us could have shared and empathized with. Her inability to be reflective of her own shortcomings or take accountability for her actions made her insufferable. Everything was someone else’s fault. She is a one note author: victim.
September 16, 2023
DNF. Made it 60% of the way until I realized I don’t need to keep reading about a narcissistic racist who hates men and makes poor decisions. A rough childhood, Daddy issues, and Immigrant hardships don’t warrant such a negative outlook on life. Everyone struggles. Not all white men are bad. She’s entitled to her opinion, whether it’s right or not, but I don’t have to read it.
I do sympathize with the trials she experienced. Life was and is still very hard. I cannot know it all because I am not Chinese. But that’s the point she loved making too. I don’t know because I’m not Chinese. And I’m the racist, I’m the bad guy, because I’m white. Yet she continuously talks about finding a therapist that’s not white. Complaining about all the white brute men that she dated that just wanted to get in her pants. Blaming everyone for who she is.
I just couldn’t do it anymore. The writing style was super halting and strange too, which didn’t help.
I do sympathize with the trials she experienced. Life was and is still very hard. I cannot know it all because I am not Chinese. But that’s the point she loved making too. I don’t know because I’m not Chinese. And I’m the racist, I’m the bad guy, because I’m white. Yet she continuously talks about finding a therapist that’s not white. Complaining about all the white brute men that she dated that just wanted to get in her pants. Blaming everyone for who she is.
I just couldn’t do it anymore. The writing style was super halting and strange too, which didn’t help.
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