My thanks to J.D. Barker, Netgalley and Hampton Creek Press for the opportunity to get this ARC for an unbiased review.
How well do you know the DIE HARD movies? Yes, all of them.
There was DIE HARD, DIE HARD 2: DIE HARDER, DIE HARD: WITH A VENGEANCE, LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD, A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD AND DIE HARD: YEAR ONE. They are also planning two more movies for the franchise in the future;
DIE HARD: WITH A BONER (THE VIAGRA CHRONICLES) and DIE HARD: FROM A HEMORRHOID (A REAL PAIN IN THE ASS).
Well, this book was like a homage to the DIE HARD movies.
It starts with a bomb going off, somewhere in New York. The police gets a call from the person claiming responsibility. He has one huge demand in order to prevent another bomb going off.
Enters Officer Cole Hundley, who is doing traffic duty because he ran over his boss’s Siamese cat, perhaps even accidentally. The boss calls him in, tells him what the terrorist wants. Cole sighs, knowing he was about to die, but his sense of duty won’t allow him to let more innocent civilians die. Not on his watch.
He pops the two blue pills, which usually treats erectile dysfunction, into his mouth and gets into the van. Stripped down to nothing but his socks, he tries to look braver than he feels. They hand him the sign and one of the men in the van helps him put it on, to cover him front and back.
“If you give us a mayday, we’ll be less than two minutes away,” the captain tells him.
“I’ll be dead in a minute,” Cole replies sarcastically. He takes a deep breath, gets out and stands out on the street, next to a sign that says: FEMINIST RIGHTS MEETING. He watches the van drive off, knowing this was his last day on this earth.
The sign he was wearing, on the front, said: #METOO IS FAKE NEWS. On the back: YOU CAN SUCK IT, SLUT.
Yippee-ka-yay for me, was his final thought before…
Okay, I made all of that up. Just wanted to see if you are paying attention.
However, I was not lying about the DIE HARD movies. If you take all of them, lock them in a room together and allowed them to have an orgy, A CALLER’S GAME would be the love child of that union.
The story:
Jordan Briggs is a very successful radio shock jock – think Howard Stern with a vagina. She always speaks her mind and couldn’t care less what people thought of her show, since it was a ratings cow with millions of listeners. She is also very smart, and can decimate any and all callers or guests on her show.
NYPD Officer Cole Hundley is on traffic duty because he is being punished. Whatever he did to Gracie got him in the dog box. He just wants to keep his head low and get through it as fast as possible.
Then the bombs starts to go off.
The man calls himself Bernie and he phones in to Jordan’s show, claiming responsibility. He wants to play a game with her – one unlike any other – and it will change her world completely. Then he says:
“I’m going to offer you a choice.”
And, as you can probably guess from here, the shit is about to hit the radio…
Barker is an incredible writer – he really has the skills. And I am a fan of his work.
However:
This is supposed to be an unbiased review, remember. And I am having difficulty because I felt a little disappointed.
The writing – spectacular.
The story – superb.
The action – Non-stop.
So, what the hell is my problem?
Okay, my unbiased opinion is that this book will appeal to a very large audience – adrenaline junkies and people who like their action on every single page will love it.
My biased opinion: It felt too long. The reason I’m having difficulty, perhaps, is the fact that you ride this intensity wave all through the book, but there are no dips, no place for you to take a breath and perhaps digest a little before the next peak.
Think of it this way:
If you get an orgasm, it is fantastic! You tell yourself you never want this feeling to end. But you can’t keep yourself there – everything will start cramping and become uncomfortable, and you just need a second to get your breath back and perhaps take a little nap, just to give yourself a chance to recover for the next round. Too much of a good thing, you know?
It’s like that, but without the sweat and other bodily fluids.
Yes, this will most probably a very successful book, and good for Mr. Barker. On my side I would have given it three stars, since I was praying for the end of the book from about three quarters through. If I take out my personal objection, it probably deserves five stars.
Ergo: Four stars...