Confession time, boys and ghouls...
This reviewer loves horror anthologies.
I have long believed that the short story (or episode, if you're glued to the tube) is the ideal vehicle for fictional frights; that makes the anthology the perfect format to enjoy your horror fiction in. You get your short sharp shocks in grand variety, usually revolving around some predetermined theme. You come to expect this variety, as well as the seemingly requisite uneven-ness that comes with it. In any anthology, it's almost impossible that every story therein will be a winner.
WHAT ONE WOULDN'T DO satisfies on the count of variety - but better still, thanks to extremely skilled editing by one Scott J Moses, the volume is remarkably even in terms of quality as well! With the exception of the horror-poetry (which just isn't my bag, and I won't be discussing much) and the instance of one out-of-place fable, WHAT ONE WOULDN'T DO is a steak dinner... juicy and delicious and ultimately quite moving in its totality.
I won't bore you discussing the excellent premise; better reviewers than I have discussed it already in greater detail and with higher skill than I could replicate here. Instead, let's start talking about the individual stories eh?
1. "With Animals" by J.A.W. McCarthy - a great start, and the perfect way to establish how this antho functions. Deeply sad as well; a well-formed primer on what "grief horror" is.
2. "Moira and Ellie" by Marisca Pichette - darker than "With Animals," and cyclical in the nature of its terror. A fine "second single" from the album of frights. Establishes the variety "grief horror" is capable of, as well as how mean it can be to its characters.
3. "Cry Me a River" by Stephanie Ellis - a post-apocalyptic piece! Almost farcical in how mean-spirited the characters are - this is a cruel story, in the best of ways.
4. "The Opening of the Mouth" by Christina Wilder - very Creepshow in form and subject matter. Quite gruesome. Love me a good story of obsession.
5. "Conversion" by Katie Young - as a Catholic myself, one whose father converted for his mother when they married, I always imagined this is what might happen if it didn't "take."
6. "The Witch of Flora Pass" by Scott J Moses - fitting indeed that the editor's own contribution to the collection would be the first that really scared me; this is just a really unsettling story about people driven to gruesome and unspeakable ends. Also: I love me a good witch story!
7. "Blood is Thicker" by Angela Sylvaine - a great EC Comics-style plot let down slightly by writing that's a little too weak, a little too direct. This is a "message" story that's ultimately salvaged by how mean-spirited it's willing to be, but only just. Not bad, but not a favorite.
8. "Monsters Calling Home" by Cheri Kamei - just wonderful. Steeped in excellent lore, with an almost uncharacteristically adventurous spirit. I would read a whole novel about these characters, a novel of which this story would also function splendidly as a first chapter.
9. "Baby Girl" by J.V. Gachs - holy shit, this one is grim. From the opening alone you feel the agony and revulsion the character must be feeling, but as this slips back into fascination and love things only get darker from there. "I am a coffin" is a great line - and what is it that sleeps in coffins?
10. "Red Rotary Phone" by Tim McGregor - what makes this one work is how ambiguous it's willing to leave things. This is only the visible part of the iceberg; what lies beneath lies in shadow and cold. Great stuff.
11. "Take Control" by Emma E. Murray - sometimes "what one wouldn't do" is simply be the bravest you've ever had to be. I've always admired stories that capture just how difficult it can be to be a scared child and also a brave child at the same time.
12. "Ella Minnow" by Nick Younker - a devilish twist on this one. Twist the knife, sir!
13. "I Married a Dead Man" by Joanna Koch - a little too steeped in metaphor and code for my taste, but the writing is beautiful. I couldn't tell what was going on half the time, but I didn't find myself caring too much by the end. An emotional piece to be sure.
14. "The Last Word" by Laurel Hightower - not exactly scary, but with frightening concepts; I do wish we'd learned what the title referred to... the ambiguity didn't seem to serve the plot in the same way that "Red Rotary Phone's" did.
15. "Silver Dollar Eyes" by Eric Raglin - a really smart horror concept. In my opinion, this story expands what the ghost story is capable of.
16. "All the Misery That Waits For Us at the End of the Day" by Eric LaRocca - it turns out, I much prefer LaRocca's short fiction to his novellas. A great lycanthrope concept that explores the quiet agony maintaining such a lifestyle brings on one.
17. "The Wishing Well" by Daniel Barnett - genuinely terrifying, with a lighting bolt of a closing line. High marks from this reviewer.
18. "Closing the Figure Eight" by Bob Johnston - at first, deeply sad... then tragically optimistic, by the end. I smiled at the end, but I'm not sure that was the point. Maybe I've fallen for the trap of time travel too. Truly moving stuff.
19. "Holding" by Simone le Roux - a grim piece that explores what we're willing to do to stay where we are, to feel like we belong. It turns out, we're willing to discard our humanity. Or at least, the protagonist is. I'd read more about this character.
20. "The Thread That Dreams Are Made Of" by Hailey Piper - reminds me of something Neil Gaiman would write on the subject, down to the style and the Gaiman-esque title. Sometimes the author wears their influence too brightly on the sleeve, but this one is still fun.
21. "Mos Teutonicus" by Bryson Richard - my stand-out favorite. A deliciously transgressive medieval tale that reminds me of what Clive Barker would write if he tried his hand at sword-and-sandal. And what a wicked, wicked twist! Tres gross.
22. "They Don't Eat Teeth" by Jena Brown - in my opinion, the weakest of the lot, as well as the outlier... I'm just not sure what this story is doing in this volume. It's just a straightforward revenge narrative and torture sequence with no variation or twist to it. I would say it hardly even fits the theme. Fun in a cathartic sense, but even that's let down by some weak writing in spots.
23. "The Old Switcheroo" by Christi Nogle - a great way to cap things off; if you thought there wasn't anything more you could do with zombies in horror fiction, you'd be wrong-o, friend-o!
MY MOST FAVORITES:
"Mos Teutonicus"
"Baby Girl"
'Monsters Calling Home"
MY LEAST FAVORITES:
"They Don't Eat Teeth"
"The Last Word"
"I Married a Dead Man"