Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication

by Vanessa Van Edwards

Wall Street Journal bestseller!
 
For anyone who wants to be heard at work, earn that overdue promotion, or win more clients, deals, and projects, the bestselling author of Captivate , Vanessa Van Edwards, shares her advanced guide to improving professional relationships through the power of cues.

What makes someone charismatic? Why do some captivate a room, while others have trouble managing a small meeting? What makes some ideas spread, while other good ones fall by the wayside? If you have ever been interrupted in meetings, overlooked for career opportunities or had your ideas ignored, your cues may be the problem – and the solution.

Cues – the tiny signals we send to others 24/7 through our body language, facial expressions, word choice, and vocal inflection – have a massive impact on how we, and our ideas, come across. Our cues can either enhance our message or undermine it.

In this entertaining and accessible guide to the hidden language of cues, Vanessa Van Edwards teaches you how to convey power, trust, leadership, likeability, and charisma in every interaction. You’ll

  •  Which body language cues assert, “I’m a leader, and here’s why you should join me.”
  •  Which vocal cues make you sound more confident
  •  Which verbal cues to use in your résumé, branding, and emails to increase trust (and generate excitement about interacting with you.)
  •  Which visual cues you are sending in your profile pictures, clothing, and professional brand.
 
Whether you're pitching an investment, negotiating a job offer, or having a tough conversation with a colleague, cues can help you improve your relationships, express empathy, and create meaningful connections with lasting impact. This is an indispensable guide for entrepreneurs, team leaders, young professionals, and anyone who wants to be more influential.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Communication, Psychology, Business, Personal Development, Audiobook

320 pages, Hardcover

Published March 1, 2022

About the author

Vanessa Van Edwards is the national bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding With People, which has been translated into 16 languages. As founder of Science of People, Vanessa researches human behavior, communication and the science of relationships. Her innovative work has been featured on CNN, NPR, Fast Company, and Entrepreneur magazine. Her YouTube videos and viral TEDx London Talk have been seen by over 47 million people. For over a decade, Vanessa has been teaching science-backed people skills to audiences around the world, including SXSW and MIT, and at companies including Google, Dove, Microsoft, Facebook, Comcast, and American Express. Her next book Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication is due out in March, 2022.

Reviews

[Elizabeth Jorgensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an easy-to-read book. There's lots of graphs and visuals, bolded words, and pull-outs. I really recommend this text. It's a super quick read with easy to implement strategies. The examples are both from history and pop culture; and the entire text centers around charisma (which Van Edwards defines as a combination of warmth and competence). A must read for anyone who wants to understand themselves or the world better. I particularly appreciated the section on emails; simple charismatic things to add: "Excited to work with you" "Looking forward to this" "happy to answer any questions" "We got this" "Working on anything exciting recently?" "How's the team doing?" "Anything I can do to help you?" This is a book I could see myself going to back to before presentations, when editing my website, or even trying to become more engaging for my students.

[Alina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a free advance copy of this book (which made me so happy! As I have been a massive fan of what Vanessa has done over these years and I consider her first book "Captivate" one of the most life changing books that I have ever read!).
I loved it. And especially, the comment at the end, that the clues described in this book have to be tried at least three times. So this is not one of those books that you read, absorb and move on from. Like with "Captivate", you have to come back, and re-read parts of it again. And practice. And read again, when seeing a cue you don't necessarily understand. I do wish that there was a way just to "download" this all into my brain! Or at least attend an in person course with her :)
Whom would I recommend this book to? Everyone. Literally everyone would benefit from reading this book. As many small things can send wrong signals, and many small cues can help decode why something didn't go quite ok in that last pitch presentation or meeting.

[Sincerely, Angel · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was very helpful especially in business

[Lynn M · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m just an HR professional and I was hoping to understand verbal and non-verbal cues in order to best understand and engage with employees. This book overall does deliver that, but it’s packaged in a hustle culture perspective that is off putting at times (like suggesting that black men dress a certain way to increase their competency ratings…woof).

For anyone seeking like me, I would imagine there’s a better book or YouTube video out there.

This book made me wonder: where is the line between fostering connection and manipulation?

[Rick Wilson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nonverbal communication is nothing new, except the author calls them “cues” and then proceeds to tell you how important they are and how smart she is for figuring them out. This is interwoven with drastically overstating questionable research that really hasn’t been replicated.

Give it a miss.

[Melissa]

Started listening to this, then started wondering how the fuck this ended up on my library reservations list. Such a boring writing style, one that reeks of self-help hucksterism. The whole thing can be summed up in one sentence: If you can send cues that make you appear both competent and warm, that’s good. Then again, tons of successful people only manage one or the other. And occasionally neither one (Trump). Useless shit, really. I stopped reading this.

[Katherine Marini · Rating 4 out of 5]

Changing my rating because I picked the book back up to officially finish it, and I enjoyed the rest of the book a lot! Love the chapter about visual cues in particular. The non verbal cues were very interesting, but I started to feel like they were extremely subjective. It seemed too prescriptive for feelings, but loved the visual cues piece.

[Gijs Limonard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Play well with others. Excellent work on social clues with lots of nuts-and-bolts tips and pointers on how to build these into your own communication style.

[Sally Summersgill · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a quick and interesting read! A lot of the information the author presents on our “cues” was stuff I already knew, but might not have intentionally thought about. It was a nice reminder of how important our body language, facial expressions, tone, word choice, etc. impact peoples’ perceptions of us.

Also liked how the author talked about charisma being the intersection of warmth and competence and how to tailor your cues to be more warm or competent depending on the situation.

[Narilka · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're looking to improve your communication skills, this book is for you.
If you're already a professional communicator, this book is for you.
If you're anti-social and would prefer not to communicate with anyone, this book is for you. Seriously, there are tips for how to do just that!

Vanessa Van Edwards and her team of researchers have collected all the latest data and science around what makes for charismatic communication and present their findings in this volume. I learned sooooo much. I need a physical copy of this book that I can refer back to and start refining my own techniques to improve my communication skills.

I listened to the audio book narrated by the author. She does an excellent job. You still may be like me and want a physical copy to go along with for easy reference.

[Jodie Cook · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky to receive a preview copy of this book and I'm very pleased I did.

Cues is fascinating. Vanessa's use of examples to share concepts related to verbal, nonverbal and visual cues are super interesting. I really enjoyed every part of the book and recommend it for anyone looking to up their communication game with specific actions.

[Poetic Diva504 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve always loved her books and I watch her youtube channel on charisma and body language. Although non verbal cues give you insights into things people aren’t saying, not everyone can accurately read body language. I don’t agree that using gestures to convey a message to someone when it might go over their head is the way to go. Some people you have to spell it out for them that you wanna be left alone because they ignore social cues.

[Dan Connors · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Disney's The Little Mermaid, sea witch Ursula takes away Ariel's voice and gives her legs in exchange, advising her to use only her body language to get by on the land. We are so used to hearing people talk at us all the time, that we often overlook body language, which experts believe contains some 65-90% of total communication!

You can have the best facts, the most persuasive arguments, and the best ideas, but they will get nowhere without the knowledge of how to be charismatic. Vanessa Van Edwards is an expert on body language, author, and founder of the website- Science of People that advises people on how to use the unspoken to their advantage. Her book, Cues, is a sequel to her earlier book, Captivate, and it covers nonverbal cues that we get from gestures, eye contact, smiles, touch, and more.

Any attempt at communication begins with the message in our heads. We encode it into words as well as nonverbal communications. The recipient then needs to decode the message and try to understand what we are trying to convey. They then either accept the message and internalize it, or reject it and toss it aside. This book is about how to get more acceptance of our ideas, large and small.

Van Edwards claims that charisma comes from the synergy of two forces- warmth and competence. We trust warm people more when they are compassionate, open, and collaborative. But that's not enough. We also trust people who show competence in the ideas that they are presenting. We look for smart, expert, capable people who exude power but are still approachable. Communicators who lack both of those qualities fall into what she calls the "Danger Zone", and risk never being taken seriously.

Warmth body language cues subtly open up relationships to trust and friendship. They include such things as head tilts, nodding, eyebrow raises, smiling, respectful touching, and mirroring of other people's expressions..

Competence body cues convince people that someone is to be taken seriously. These include things like power postures, intense gazes, steeple gestures (palms facing each other with fingers just barely touching), fluid arm gestures during presentations, and palm flashes.

Charismatic body cues, which combine the two, make speakers look and sound likeable and respectable. They include leaning in to a conversation, opening one's body posture (no crossing of the arms), space smarts, (knowing how close to physically come to someone in a conversation), and using eye contact purposefully.

Van Edwards devotes two chapters to vocal cues, which are different than the actual words spoken. We generally take lower pitched voices more seriously, and we can tell if someone has a nervous pitch to their voice. One of the big no-no's in speaking is ending a sentence on a question inflection. This takes away the speakers power and makes the recipient question if the speaker knows what they're talking about.

Much of this is common sense, but it's nice to see it all put together in a professional format. Vary your voice when talking and raise it for emphasis. Be aware of when you're losing your audience. Don't be afraid to pause once in a while for extra emphasis- silence creates tension and anticipation. Use friendly words at the start of any engagement to warm up your intended audience, large or small. (But be genuine, not fake.) Try to start conversations with things like:

"I'm so glad you called."
"Well this is a nice surprise"
"It's so good to hear from you"
"I love your outfit, hair, tattoo etc"

There is a serious shortage of warmth and caring today, and remembering to honor and appreciate people can go a long way. Just the way you say the word "hello" makes a huge difference.

Van Edwards ends the book with tips on visual cues, which might be a topic for her next book. Our eyes take in way more information than our ears, and we make a lot of decisions based on superficial, unconscious visual signals. Her three best practices for using cues for charisma include.
1- Expect the best from yourself and others
2- Don't try to fake it. People can see right through that.
3- Use the rule of 3 to try things out. Test a cue at least 3 times and see what results you get.

Vanessa Van Edwards is the only person writing about nonverbal communication styles today that I've seen, and her advice is valuable. Only 10-35% of our words gets through, and if it conflicts with the nonverbal parts, forget about it. Communication is critical, and in the internet age interpersonal communication is becoming harder because of social media that robs us of most of the nonverbal part, presenting instead a carefully curated but incomplete picture.

The author has built up an impressive array of information, classes, and resources on this little-noticed topic, and I recommend her website, Scienceofpeople.com to those who want to learn more about her activities.

[Cassidy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Without getting too personal in this goodreads review, I’ve been working on getting back to my social and outgoing self this year after a lot of stuff that sort of shook my world a little bit and part of that has been starting therapy. My therapist recommended Vanessa Van Edwards and because I refuse to do anything halfway, I obviously had to read her book. It wasn’t particularly “fun” or “entertaining”, but I did really love her suggestions and her ways of explaining how people communicate warmth and competence through various cues. I also love something I can apply and “practice” immediately and Van Edwards’ suggestions are exactly that. Things that seem so simple-yet actually do make a difference in how we communicate and are communicated with.

So, like, don’t read it for fun? But also it was interesting and I love anything about people and how people work/communicate/relate to one another, so I liked it a lot. :)

[Kaspars · Rating 5 out of 5]

Top 10 all time book for me. I’ll be rereading it.

[Bella Melov · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting but lowkey a podcast episode summarised it

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hello, Readers! I thought I would share with you what a terrific book Vanessa Van Edwards has written. This is a well researched, informative, and fun read. She presents data and historical examples that are on point, and they make you smile. I leave with a deeper understanding of nonverbal, vocal, verbal, and imaginary cues giving me insight into others and myself. I plan to incorporate her ideas into my life. Her quote regarding mirroring and its application, “This isn’t disingenuous, it’s his way of showing respect and paying close attention to the people he is with,” resonated with me, and gives me the words to describe exactly why this subject is so important to me. I think you, too, will find many gems inside her volume. Enjoy the experience!

[Ling Li · Rating 4 out of 5]

Downloaded this book after coming across a video of Vanessa explaining likability. The cues mentioned in the book are quite applicable, although some lack depth. Overall, it’s practical and easy to read.

[Signe Huang · Rating 3 out of 5]

7,2/10 [audiobook] like engaging voice, handler om at være charismatic og hvordan det består af warmth cues vs competence cues og det interesting enough ifht til kommunikation og hvordan man bliver percieved men føler heller ikke det var mindblowing dybt ifht jeg så en YouTube video fra hende hvor you get the whole gist, og ifht det så var bogen jeg nu hørte på 8 timer synes jeg ikke der var meget ny eller meget dybere info

[th. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Would definitely have enjoyed this more on paper than audiobook due to the repetition of points but i ended up getting used to them in the end (even though it took me almost 3/4 to get used to it)(and the only reason why i was getting used to it was because i was losing focus and the repetition made me not be so lost about the point haha)

still pretty good contents though!! So other than that i'm happy with the read, id probably be a bit more conscious about cues now.

To your success,
4.4 stars

[Neil Pasricha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vanessa calls herself a “recovering awkward person” and has a popular YouTube community with advice like “use more hand gestures” and “never pick up the phone in a bad mood.” Bit obvious? Easy to dismiss? I know it’s easy to be cynical. I was cynical, too. But as my old professor Gunnar Trumbull (best name ever) used to say, “It’s much harder to agree with something than disagree.” This book is really a stunning masterclass on body language. Vanessa does “detail by detail workshops” of fascinating moments like the famous first televised presidential debate in 1960 (where people who listened on the radio thought Nixon won and people who watched on TV thought Kennedy won … you’ll read why) and even famous flubs on Shark Tank by incredible entrepreneurs who years later built unicorns. Will most of us know most of what Vanessa discusses? Yes. But will everyone who reads this book pick up at least a few gold nuggets / satoshis of bitcoin? I did. Highly recommended.

[Nancy Milton · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of the better communication books I have read for a couple reasons:
-the detail Vanessa provide on both how to improve (versus what to improve, the tiresome approach of other authors) the impact the improvement would have
-the complete approach she took for the amount of areas she explored within communication.

I will utilize this book now like a reference resource.
I will also suggest it to others.

Warning:
-if you are already a good communicator, you be better off with a 2.0 version
-the Audio version of the book is read by author, and surprisingly, her voice wasn't a match to the material, in my opinion.

[Zoë Routh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing! A science-backed exploration of body language, verbal, vocal, and visual signals we give to others. Once we know these secrets, you'll be able to master your own inner state much better, and importantly convey the message you're after - to build rapport, gain trust, and exercise positive influence on others.

I bought copies for all the CEOs and GMs in my advanced leadership program, Amplifiers, and they loved it!

Being a leader is a tough job. This book makes one aspect of it - being trusted and taken seriously - a little bit easier (and more fun too!).

Recommended.

[Mandy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a fascinating book about how to communicate better in a nonverbal manner. Unfortunately, it's very much about how neurotypical brains process information. I would love to see a neurodivergent edition. Much of the information is good for reading allistic people but my brain interprets "warm" and "competent" as equally unnecessary in a work setting. Give me the sterile, "boring" information. Let's get things done and move on. I'm not trying to impress everyone I ever interact with.

[Joel Witzig · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book equally or maybe slightly less so than Vanessa’s first book. However, I think my mindset going into these two books was slightly off. For some reason I was thinking that new information and tools and behaviors would be introduced that would greatly enhance verbal and nonverbal communication skills, yet that wasn’t really the point of these books. The point was more explanatory, explaining what works in what situations and explaining why it works. Many of the topics were things I organically do or have noticed others doing, but I didn’t intrinsically know why those behaviors were being selected, and these two books provided interesting insight into that. Being personally interested in behavioral sciences, it affirmed again that almost every behavior has underlying root causes and statistical reasons for why it is chosen or why it works, and human behavior is much more intentional and cause/effect based than you would assume.

The other thing I struggled with in this book is that there was actually a ton of overlap in content between this book and her YouTube video with Steven Bartlett on “Diary of a CEO.” I haven’t watched videos on her personal YouTube channel, but I would assume there is more of the same there. I think Vanessa is a much more convincing and engaging public speaker than she is an author, so if you’re interested in this type of content I think it would be much more beneficial to watch the two hour YouTube episode than spend a couple days reading this book.

Some of my favorite tips and hacks from the book:
- holding your hands at your sides and pressing your thumb and index finger together can get you to stop swaying if you’re speaking while standing in place
- touching or stroking your notch (the space at the base of your neck between your collar bones) is the quickest way to calm yourself down because it makes you feel safe
- Comic Sans is one of the best fonts for remembering information better
- People were found to be more productive when they were working in a blue colored room compared to other colors.

[Chrissann Nickel · Rating 5 out of 5]

The research Vanessa Van Edwards does through her organization, The Science of People, never fails to be absolutely fascinating. I’ve read her first book, “Captivate” several times, and will read anything she writes.

This new addition to her work, “Cues,” also hooks you from the start and is an excellent complement to her earlier book and talks. Everyone would benefit from learning how their verbal and non-verbal cues are communicating competence and charisma (or lack thereof).

The studies she shares to back her claims are wildly interesting in both their scope and their results. I will definitely be revisiting this book; the insights in here into how our brains are wired to interpret communication and how to consciously shape our behavior to improve our interactions with others are invaluable.

[Brenna O'Hara]

Thesis: Charisma = Warmth + Competence, and social interactions are made or broken by how you embody both variables.

Really enjoyed the psychology, biology, sociology, and etymology baked into this book! It reads like an engaging lecture series, complete with a repository of research stats and demonstrative case studies ranging from Ted Talks to Shark Tank to the exterior paint colors of the secret 1967 Disneyland bar (drop everything and google "Club 33")!!

One of the most engaging professional development books I've read- genuinely applicable and a great resource for social cue studies, public speaking/presenting tips, effective corporate lingo, body language mindfulness, and (thankfully) tailored e-mail signoffs.

[Saurabh · Rating 4 out of 5]

(Read as an audiobook) These are my favourite type of books. I heard Vanessa Van Edwards on the Art of Manliness podcast and ended up reading her book. I like that she explained different cues in brief and how to work on them.
These books can end up being a little political but she stayed true to the topic being discussed in the book and I admire that. The examples in the book got me thinking about the cues I use inadvertently and tried a few myself. How to write an e-mail was the part I will be re-reading the most although I hope AI does it for me in the next few days.
I just wish the book had more examples which I could check out in detail and have more of a breakdown of certain scenarios. After the first few chapters the examples just stopped.

[Tolu Andre Olatunbosun · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun read whose rating lives somewhere between a 3 and a 4 for me. As an engineer I see and experience poor communication and declared this book will be my flag in the sand to not be among the perpetrators. The book is equipped with diagrams, mementos, and directives to be less bland, more engaging, more charismatic, and easier to remember both during and after social interactions with few or many. The rules presented here are both subtle and potent, certainly enough to feel like they improve your interactions without feeling rehearsed or insincere.

The book led me to following her on Instagram and YouTube where she continues on her mission to ease and smooth communication tactics, among others for better interactions in other frontiers of life.

[G utf · Rating 3 out of 5]

The most successful people have the right blend of both, which leads them to be likable and respected, the two of which add up to trust.

We may have warmth and no competence, making us well-liked around the office but meaning we get passed over for promotions or left out of important meetings. We may be all competence and no warmth, resulting in high achievement but few invitations to networking events or social gatherings, possibly to the detriment of our own advancement

Head tilts convey curiosity, sympathy, or interest
Don’t use a head tilt, however, if you need to hold on to power in the conversation.

From blinkist