A Man With One Of Those Faces (The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part One, Book One) by Caimh McDonnell
First published, 2016
⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
The story follows an every man, Paul Mulchrone, a man with one of those faces, who visits an old folks’ home regularly because he can be mistaken for whoever the patients are hoping to see. Although an act of semi-questionable kindness, Paul does this voluntary work because the moment he gets a paid job, he will forfeit the home and monthly stipend left him by his great aunt, and as stipulated in her will, the whole kit and caboodle will go to the donkey sanctuary. As Paul doesn’t have the highest opinion of donkeys, he’ll stretch that money as far as it will go and keep up the voluntary work, thank you very much.
Asked by nurse Brigit Conroy to fit in one final visit to an old fella who hasn’t seen a friendly, non-medical face in the three weeks since his admission to the home, Paul finds himself plunged into a deadly intrigue, a case of mistaken identity and is thought to have discovered something so secret, so shocking, that he has become an everyday guy with a target on his back and something underneath his car.
Assisted by Brigit and days-from-retirement Detective Jimmy Stewart, Paul must run for his life or solve a thirty year old mystery to save his skin.
A very funny and clever thrill-ride with some great dialogue, beautiful scenery and cracking characters. I laughed out loud more than once.
“‘You know what,’ he said. ‘Don’t you dare cry! I have every right to be angry. Don’t you take that away from me.’
“She nodded her agreement.
“‘And don’t agree with me. You don’t get to be reasonable,’ he said. ’Thanks to you, I could be dead! So you stand there, not crying - and take the damn good tongue lashing you’ve got coming.’
“He’d never used that phrase before in his life and, even as it came out of his mouth, the little internal editor in the back of his brain looked up from his newspaper and sneered. Where the hell did that come from?
“As Brigit dabbed a tear away from her left eye with the corner of a tissue, her right eyebrow rose ever so slightly, in the tiniest acknowledgement of his peculiar choice of words. For some reason that made him even angrier.
“‘And don’t you… don’t you DARE find my choice of words funny.’
“She shook her head furiously but even as she did so, a nervous smile played across her lips.
“'Stop - stop it right this minute!’ His tone was becoming pleading now. He could feel the conversation slipping further off the course he’d planned out."
5% in, Chapter Four, A Man With One Of Those Faces (The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part One, Book One) by Caimh McDonnell
It is worth bearing in mind, this is a trilogy unlike any other. Where most trilogies have three parts, this deluxe edition has two parts, each made up for four stories. I’ve never been good with numbers so that’s the extent of my explanation.
Joyous.
Bloody Christmas (A Bunny McGarry Novella, The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part One, Book Two) by Caimh McDonnell
First published, 2020
⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
Sold in aid of homeless charity, The Peter McVerry Trust, this is an excellent introduction to the humour, pathos and writing style of Mr McDonnell.
Appearing second in the Deluxe Edition, Part One, of this not-really-mathematically-speaking trilogy, Bloody Christmas follows sheepskin-clad, wonky-eyed hero, Bunny McGarry as he faces possible death at the urinal and goes through the city’s sewers in search of a missing child.
The writing is smart and assured, the humour is delightful and I love the author’s voice. There’s no mistaking the musicality and tempo of the writing, there’s always poetry in an Irish voice.
For example, the first couple of lines in Chapter One, Duck Soup, where Bunny is meeting with a psychiatrist.
“Bunny stared hard at the wall. ‘Can I ask a question?’
“‘Of course,’ replied Dr Warwick in that tone of voice that Bunny guessed he practised a lot. The one he no doubt thought made him sound calm and authoritative and not at all like a smug gobshite with a highly swappable face. “ “ 'This wallpaper you’ve got, is it one of them what-cha-me-call-its… rickshaw tests?’
“‘Do you mean Rorschach tests?’ asked Warwick.
“‘Yeah. One of them.’
“'No, it’s just wallpaper.’
“‘Oh right. Did you choose it?’
“‘As it happens, I did.’
“‘Were there many other options?’
“Dr Warwick turned and glanced back at it. ‘I vaguely recall there being a catalogue.’
“‘Right. And you thought you’d go with this one?’
“‘Am I to assume that you don’t like the wallpaper?’
“‘It’s not for me to say. I mean have ye not noticed at all that the pattern looks a bit y’know…’
“‘Like what?’
“'Like a lady’s downstairs bits, only on fire.’
45% in, Duck Soup, Bloody Christmas, The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part One by Caimh McDonnell
Dog Day Afternoon (A Dublin Story of a Kick-Ass Dog, The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part One, Book Three) by Caimh McDonnell
⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
A good, quick read. Dog Day Afternoon follows our favourite Irish Detective Sergeant, Bunny McGarry, as he searches for a corpse to take the place of a police dog, condemned to death for an attack that was beyond her control.
If Bunny is to save Maggie, the police dog, he’ll need an agreeable vet and a doppelgänger dead dog pronto. But will he find a body in time? And even if he does, will anyone believe it’s really Maggie?
Great fun. Maggie is a great character. It can be difficult to understand the personality traits of a non-speaking character, but she’s very well-written and the imagery and humour of the author’s other works are evident in this short story. I loved it. Aside from Maggie, I really liked put-upon, last-minute veterinarian, Noreen:
“She really had tried to like people, but it was very hard to based on the available evidence - war, famine and the films of Adam Sandler. Animals, on the other hand, were infinitely more lovable. In fact, their only downside was that they were invariably owned by people. It was the Peter principle on a massive evolutionary scale. Humanity had been promoted to the position of dominant species, a role they managed with utter incompetency.
“Take this specimen, for example; standing on the opposite side of the counter in a black sheepskin coat, which smelled like it hadn’t been cleaned since the sheep had worn it. His large bulbous face was a shade of red only meant for beetroot and heart attacks, and a lazy left eye only added to the impression of him being unhinged. To be fair, in other circumstances, he’d probably have just looked intense as opposed to deranged, but those circumstances would’ve involved him not bursting into her surgery demanding a dead dog.”
54% in, Dog Day Afternoon, The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part One, Book Three) by Caimh McDonnell
The Day That Never Comes (The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part One, Book Four) by Caimh McDonnell
⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
When an incompetent, unlicensed private investigator loses the guy he’s trailing with alarming regularity, and the bodies start piling up, it surely won’t be long before the possible philanderer becomes a suspected murderer…
But with Paul Mulchrone learning how to be a PI from books, and his new business partners, Brigit Conroy (no longer speaking to him), Bunny McGarry (missing, possibly permanently) and Maggie (ex-police dog, example of the now debunked dominance theory, and quaffer of pints of Guinness) of little to no use, how will Paul solve the problems of the woman in red? And what does it have to do with the destruction of the Celtic Tiger?
An absolute rollercoaster, this. More emotionally charged than the previous books but every bit as funny and engaging. I particularly loved the character of Detective Superintendent Burns: a woman at the high point of her career, suddenly lumbered with a massive, migraine-inducing case while the Boys’ Club tries to push her aside. From the introduction of her character, where Donnacha Wilson has just been sick in front of her, I knew I was going to like her best.
“'Superintendent, sir, er… ma’am, have you got a second?’
“'The news of the murder has just hit the media, so if this is about my shoes, then you’ve already apologised.’
“Wilson glanced down, and noticed the footwear in question sitting in the bin.
“'No it’s not. I mean… although, can I just say again… if you’d allow me to replace them…'
“‘Yes, you can buy me shoes, and then the other detectives can take turns taking me to dinner and getting me sexy lingerie. Forget it. Now, I’ve got a high profile corpse to deal with so unless there’s anything else, or you’d like to pee in my handbag…’"
68% in, Chapter Twelve, The Day That Never Comes (The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part One, Book Four) by Caimh McDonnell
I highlighted so many turns of phrase in this collection, but this one struck a big old chord with me:
“When you rise fast, those you passed will take particular delight in the fall.”
85% in, Chapter Thirty-Four, The Day That Never Comes (The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part One, Book Four) by Caimh McDonnell.
Words to live by.
I’ll say this: I wanted to take a star off for all there junk food the dog was fed through the book - multiple packets of pork scratchings from the pub, a full cooked breakfast and a few pints of Guinness, but I reminded myself that it’s fiction and funny stuff at that. You should read this for entertainment, not for dog-feeding tips.