Update: Uh, Melody's not Black. All of us who thought she was Black are wrong. Just ignore the random (outdated) Black American slang and whatnot and you'll be fine. 🥴
Hi. I, like Melody, was born with a physical disability. I, like Melody, use wheelchairs to get around and other medical devices to survive and thrive. Melody and I share other things in common as well like having been to a summer camp for youth with disabilities and so forth... I hope you can see why I would want to read a book like this.
I read Out of My Mind as a high schooler, and while it definitely wasn't perfect I also didn't leave hating it. For some reason, I set out to reread the book to see how things held up now that I'm 25 and can reflect more on my life as a preteen girl. I don't know how, but I picked up the wrong book... Intrigued, I kept reading it.
Let me just say: I hated this book. It sucked. It really did. There was ableism all over the place, and it simply isn't a book that'll uplift youth with disabilities.
Here are a million reasons why this book sucked. The reasons are many, so just pick a few to read:
• After having had Melody speak against euphemisms like "special needs," the book describes her as "differently-abled."
• Barely into the book, Melody describes a neighbor helping her "shut down the pity party" about her having a disability. ...Yes, because people with disabilities are mobile pity parties who need help to not be depressed, and if we're depressed about anything obviously it has to do with our disabilities! We totally need to support that stereotype.
• The author has Melody note that cerebral palsy is "not a disease," that it isn't contagious, and that the "mental part of her brain" works. I don't really think the author cared about how youth with disabilities would feel reading this book.
• Melody always says that she tells her AAC device what to say, instead of naturally saying "I said thank you."
• The author has the main character infantilize being fed.
• There's literally not one moment where the main character does not compare her abilities to the abilities of people who aren't disabled. It's incredibly saddening.
• The author has the main character comment "Her braids were tight! Not one bit of frizz!" on her counselor's box braids... Yeah, because people with box braids are known to wake up with messy hair?
• The author has the main character infantilize needing help washing up.
• The author has the main character worry about having messy hair upon waking up. You mean to tell me that a family sent a little Black girl to an away camp for an entire week without having put her hair up in a protective style? You mean to tell me that they sent her to an away camp for a whole week... trusting that someone would know how to do her hair? ...I shared braid spray with the other Black girl at the camp I went to.
• The author has the main character say "kids like me" to describe disabled kids about a million times... It's as if the Boogeyman were going to appear if Melody were to say anything related to the word "disability" three times in a row, or even once.
• The author has the main character think that she has no right to comment on someone having done something wrong on the sole basis that she is not physically capable of doing said thing.
• The author has the main character think "He didn't seem to be the least bit phased to be asked a question by a machine" in response to a boat captain responding to Melody who communicates via an AAC device. The boat captain was being asked a question by Melody, not by a device...
• The author has the main character comment on another camper's movement by saying "She was wheelchair-swaying to the rhythm." Just, ugh...
• The author writes Melody as a "wheelchair expert" yet makes Melody unaware that chairs can have custom colors, and of the fact that standing wheelchairs exist.
• The author has a character named Santiago randomly say a single Spanish word (just so we, the readers, can learn that she knew what the word meant). Santiago also played "salsa music" from his AAC device. Santiago doesn't do anything else, he's just a random Hispanic kid doing... Hispanic kid tingz.
• There's an odd wheelchair slide that's... somehow not at all a ramp.
• The book references dated music for no reason other than to show how "hip" the author is to youth, I guess.
• The author gave Melody, her crush and her counselor synesthesia. (Totally realistic.) It's written as a condition that's only relevant when it's fun.
• The restrooms are far away from the cabins at a camp made for people with disabilities... I have to laugh. The restrooms not being in the cabins are simply used as a plot device.
• Melody, lamenting on life with a disability, says "No one had ever wanted me on their team for anything!"
• Melody, about having to use a wheelchair, says "It sucks scissors sometimes." Yes, preteens totally talk like this.
• A preteen boy, reacting to another boy's behavior: "Man you are seriously lacking any chill." Yep, mmhmm, the author total has preteen speech down.
• After horseback riding, Melody's counselor gets off the horse that they were both on, knowing that her legs kick due to her cerebral palsy... There are no staff nearby and Melody's counselor is supposed to get her off of the horse herself. Yes, because a camp like this would totally allow one person transfers. Totally safe dude!
• Melody, after having zipped down the zip line: "The zip line is the bomb!"
• The author has the girls in the main character's cabin talk about traumatic experiences from ableism when they finally get to have girl talk together.
• The author has the main character use the term "nutzo."
• The author wrote that the main character put her AAC device "on speaker." ...Girl what? It's not a cellphone! The only time her AAC device didn't speak out loud was when she was sending an email and text.
• Melody, a preteen girl: "We rock!"
There were some other weird things that happened like Melody saying another camper looked like they had Down Syndrome, and even Melody's own parents being hesitant upon seeing that her counselor seemed to have a disability herself.
If I would've read this when I were Melody's age, I would've gotten so many mixed signals. This book reminds me of adults who would say things like "She might be in that wheelchair but she's smart!" and would encourage me to take those statements as badges of honor. Mostly, the book would've reinforced untrue stereotypes that society already tells me about disabled people. Thankfully, I know not to listen to these things. I especially know that people with physical disabilities don't have to overcompensate or say negative things about other types of disabilities just to feel better. I know that youth with disabilities don't exist to inspire pity. That they would like to read books that feature people with disabilities that aren't depressing, infantilizing or ableist. Books where the main character's main (er, only) personality trait isn't just a response to ableism they've experienced. Books that are just... better.
I really don't know what happened. Not sure if the first book was this bad or my eyes are just opened now that I've read the sequel.
Meh. On to the next book!