The Year of the End

by Anne Theroux

After 22 years, spent across four continents, with two children – Louis and Marcel – in 1990 Anne and Paul Theroux decided to separate.

For that year, Anne – later a professional relationship therapist herself – kept a diary, noting not only her day-to day experiences as a busy freelance journalist and broadcaster, but the contrasts in her feelings between despairing grief and hope for a new future.

With reflections on truth and fiction, literature and art and the nature of marriage, alongside commentary on notable political and cultural events, and interviews with prominent writers of the time, including Kingsley Amis and Barbara Cartland, The Year of the End offers a unique insight into the unravelling of a relationship and the attempts to rebuild a life.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Audiobook, Autobiography

256 pages, Hardcover

Published July 8, 2021

Reviews

[Andrew Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paul Theroux is a writer I much admire, I’ve read and hugely enjoyed a dozen of his books (a mix of novels and travelogues but also a compendium of essays). He’s clearly a clever guy, with a keen eye for what is interesting and an arresting way of capturing it in words. In his own writing, he sometimes refers to his time living in England, with his English wife, although the short(ish) references tend to be slanted towards the negative. So when this book caught my eye I was keen to investigate what the view from the other side of the fence looked like: what was Paul like to live with from the perspective of his wife of twenty two years.

Anne had met Paul in Africa when they were both living and working there as young, idealistic adventurers. They conceived their first child, Marcel, got married and then a couple of years later, their second child, Louis (now a well-known television documentarian) came along. After leaving Africa, they spent three years in Singapore before settling in London. Paul, a workaholic, spent much of his time writing and travelling (mainly alone) to gather material for his travelogues. He was also a woman magnet, and his philandering ways are well documented in this book. But Anne strayed too during her husband’s long absences. They admitted their transgressions to each other (or at least Paul admitted some of them) creating an ever turbulent relationship. Eventually, they agreed to a trial separation for six months. This book is based on a diary Anne kept through the twelve months that followed.

Her diary entries are somewhat sporadic, often cryptic (she sometimes has trouble interpreting them herself) and to aid comprehension, she provides additional insight by way of a commentary as we work through them. It’s a difficult time for her both personally and professionally, and it’s clear she was really struggling to hold her life together throughout this whole period. She still loved Paul, and maybe Paul still loved her, but their communication through this year was minimal and she tended to keep track of her husband’s activities through third-hand reports received from mutual friends or family members. It’s a sad and sometimes upsetting account, and yet I found it to be totally absorbing to read.

It felt to me that Anne was being brutally honest here about her own failings as well as what she saw as Paul’s inherent weaknesses and his shortfalls as a partner. The pair eventually divorced and both subsequently entered new long-term relationships. It seems that they are now able to communicate cordially and that they meet infrequently but on friendly terms. Anne also qualified as a relationships counsellor, coincidentally collecting her diploma the day before Paul re-married.

I found this to be an engrossing account of the breakdown of a marriage and it’s impacts. I personally learned a good deal about behaviour, recovery, and how we react to setbacks in our lives. If it has a drawback it’s that it is almost wholly downbeat in tone – hard to avoid, in truth, given the circumstances – and so this book is probably best digested with this in mind. Nonetheless, I highly recommend it.

My thanks to Icon Books and NetGalley for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[SK · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a memoir written by Anne Theroux, Paul Theroux's first wife and the mother of Louis and Marcel Theroux. The author is very keen to tell her side of the story of their marriage, and does so by reflecting on daily diary entries that she wrote over the course of the year in which the couple separated and eventually divorced. Apparently, this manuscript sat in a drawer for twenty years as the author felt she didn't want to publish it until she reached retirement.

I've read a lot of Paul Theroux's books, short fiction, and articles, so I wasn't very surprised to learn that he was a pretty rubbish husband and a real heart-breaker. Whether it was his many infidelities or the fact that he used undisguised and unflattering details about Anne as fodder for his stories, he wounded her deeply.

I didn't feel a strong attachment to Anne and neither did I dislike her or find her off-putting. Contrary to what I read in some critical reviews of this book, I think she's a decent writer and a thoughtful person, even if she's no Paul Theroux. I found this to be a sad book but I enjoyed reading it overall.

[Claire O'Sullivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being given access to someone’s diary is a real privilege. When that person has lived an interesting life of travel and books, through turbulent times, this is a treat. Breezy and bright, despite the trauma of a relationship breakdown, this is a glimpse within, a snapshot in time .

Telling as to the ‘role’ of women through the seventies and eighties. Anne Theroux weaves a tapestry of a specific time that tells a wider story; of marriage, motherhood and the impact of the world around.

ARC from Netgalley

[grace saint · Rating 1 out of 5]

Her voice might have exaggerated it but not a bit of me at all not a single interesting point

[indy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Anne was trying to prove something by publishing this book, but it feels like a misfire.

I was quietly hoping for a stylish and engrossing memoir like Charmian Clift's Mermaid Singing and Peel Me a Lotus. Clift and Johnston were excellent writers but deeply flawed people, and the same applies to Anne and Paul. But Clift's memoirs managed to rise above the pettiness and self-absorption by showing us how deeply their lives were intertwined, all the while laying bare the exquisite ugliness of their relationship as it fell apart. I'm also grateful that Clift brought Kalymnos and Hydra (and the local people) to life in my imagination. The memoirs delight and horrify in equal measure, detailing family life, public spats and private reconciliations.

I'm sorry to say that Anne Theroux's memoir is bland and barely stirs a feeling. You're dragged around the planet, from Uganda to Singapore, London to Cape Cod, Knossos, etc., but they're just names on a page. There's no sense of place. Anne seems oblivious to her incredible privilege, fretting over wealthy white person problems like not being handed a dream job immediately, or bitching about the women they paid to help raise the children.

Why was Anne so cut up about the demise of their marriage? There's plenty of lip service to her love for Paul, but I struggle to understand it. Clift and Johnston loved and fought like cats, and their relationship leaps from the page. Meanwhile, Paul's dismissive attitude to Anne's work in Uganda set the tone for their entire relationship and the diary conveys no passion; it's weird enough that they survived 2 years, let alone 22. I detected more human feeling for Paul's family than for Paul himself, and relished the sting of emotion when it dawned on Anne that her husband's relatives were moving on—that they would contribute significantly to the sense of loss. That was real.

Aside from that one tug on my heartstrings, the highlights for me were the color photos of young Louis and his tiny cameos in the diary. The one mention of Adam Buxton made me warm and fuzzy; I love his enduring friendship with Louis.

Borrow rather than buy this one if you really want to try it.

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really engaging memoir based around Anne Theroux's 1990 diary entries, the year she split with her husband Paul Theroux. Although that might sound like it would be a depressing or maudlin read, it was neither. It brought Anne to life - and in her own words - when many people's perceptions of her will have come from her portrayal through Paul's book whether in fictional or non-fictional form.

The book was a reflection on a year, but also how Anne had ended up with the life she had - both the good and the bad. It showed her clear love for her children, but also the push and pull of her relationship wih Paul. It was a sensitively handled telling of a difficult time.

[Roo · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is book contains diary entries for the year 1990, when Anne had separated from her husband, initially for a 6mths period.
But this book was much more than a diary, it took us through world history, books, and the role of women and how Anne achieves her aims and copes with the separation and the eventual outcome. Overall, the book is very positive. I found some parts deeply touching, but have great admiration for Anne.
I would recommend this book.

Thanks to NetGalley for ARC

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a fascinating read though it did annoy me at times and I would find my self shaking my head. It was interesting to read the insights from someone who lived a very different life to myself. I did feel I had a different opinion to her thoughts on things, as many do when you are outside looking in.

[Geir Ertzgaard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kommer tilbake med en mer utfyllende anmeldelse, men dette var virkelig bra! Anne Castle skriver like godt som sin mer celebre eksmann, og de som syns dette er kjedelig pluttring (mange av de som har anmeldt boken her) forstår seg ikke på livet.

[Lena · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant memoir, with a nice period picture, ends on a positive note for a bright future.

[🌶 peppersocks 🧦 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reflections and lessons learned:
“At the time I dragged up anything from the past that backed up the contention that Paul was a villain… there was plenty of evidence… today I had an illumination - I don’t won’t to end my relationship with Paul, I want to end the marriage. I want to get rid of the externally imposed restrictions and attitudes, the stereotypes of wronged wife, nagging wife , indulgent wife mother…“

I already knew bits about one of her sons (I’m a fan), and only from bits from Louis did I have a picture of her husband Paul, despite being a renowned author. As a result I went into this vaguely expecting it to be a series of anecdotes around the names and related games - the title does say it all though - so much about heartbreak and the fight for a relationship and her own sanity and happiness. Raw and real with emotion - a world away in terms of lifestyle and options but hard not to feel the hurt and heartache for a person trying her best whilst continuing to live a life

[Sarah K · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a diary of the year in which Anne and Paul Theroux’s marriage ended. Throughout the year, reflections of other times and events are woven into the narrative, giving a sense of what the marriage and Anne’s life had been like. The diary format is one of my favourites as I love feeling like I am living in someone else’s life for a little while. Anne describes time spent in Africa vividly, making it seem special and magical. Being a Louis Theroux fan, I obviously ate up all the snippets about his upbringing with a spoon. There were moments, such as the description of Anne meeting Paul’s family for the first time, that were a pleasure to read. Her take on V.S Naipaul is personal and unsparing, the kind of detail I love in non-fiction: I read memoir to know people and this felt honest and insightful. Still, I am not sure how strongly I could recommend the book. I found it a bit thin - the juicy details not that interesting, the lack of positives about Paul Theroux pretty glaring. I know she must have felt strongly about her marriage ending to have published this book but for me it feels detached and oddly superficial. I didn’t care for either party because she didn’t make me care. That is a rarity - diaries usually make me feel weirdly protective over their writers, as if we’re friends. I don’t think she fully committed to sharing the reality of divorce, instead alluding to arguments without actually fleshing them out. Maybe I’m a garbage person for wanting the gory details but for me that’s why people read about relationships- we want a version of the truth that feels raw and satisfying. She tells us about affairs and so on but the parties involved never become real and I felt none of the outrage that I would expect to on Anne’s behalf when she revealed Paul’s transgressions. Others with more knowledge of Anne or Paul’s work may find more to interest them than I did. The Year of The End isn’t a bad book, just one that left me a little bit cold.

Thank you to NetGalley for ARC.

[Lais Atilano · Rating 4 out of 5]

In The Year of the End, Anne Theroux tells the story of the final breaths of a marriage that lasted 22 years.

By revisiting diary entries for that last year with hindsight, she was able to expand on and contextualise events that, at the time, might have been to immediate and painful to comprehend fully.

A moving autobiography, in which the author explores notions of truth, fiction, memory and subjectivity in order to make sense of the end of her relationship, and of her identity not as wife and mother, but as herself.

[Angie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book in diary format - you feel like you are surreptitiously reading someone else's personal thoughts.
It's a snapshot of when the marraige of Anne and Paul fell apart, with her writing openly about reasons, actions that led to the decision from years ago, and how their relationship fell apart.
If you like memoirs in diary format, this is an interesting and enjoyable read.

[Suze · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Year of the End - Anne Theroux


“'This memoir is based on the diary I kept during 1990, the year that my first marriage came to an end.'
After 22 years, spent across four continents, with two children - Louis and Marcel - in 1990 Anne and Paul Theroux decided to separate. For that year, Anne - later a professional relationship therapist herself - kept a diary, noting not only her day-to-day experiences as a busy freelance journalist and broadcaster, but the contrasts in her feelings between despairing grief and hope for a new future.”

I was interested to read this from the blurb, but also as a kind of companion to Louis Theroux’s memoir, the brilliantly titled “Gotta get Theroux this”. I wanted to hear Anne’s story, as I knew of her ex-husband’s writing and of Louis’ fascinating and personable documentary work too, but nothing from her.

I thought it would be entries from the time, paragraphs on how she felt and what she was doing, her hopes and fears. This could be with an interjection every so often of her modern self, relaying some information about how that book was moderately successful, or that she didn’t get a chance to revisit that holiday home and that was in fact, the last time she stepped out of the front door.
It was a bit of a surprise that the diary she kept was in reality, a line or so a day which more often than not, described who she’d had dinner with (usually her family). The rest of it is her reminiscences about the meal, the holiday she was excluded from, lamenting the separation while she talks about her own infidelities. From a vantage point of three decades of new memories being made, I don’t know how much I trust that she can remember so much detail without the benefit of hindsight or the mists of time getting in the way.

Memoirs and autobiographies are by nature, self indulgent, of course, but the best ones tell a story. A journey, a specific period in someone’s life which is important, perhaps because it made them the person they are today, like in Roald Dahl’s Boy and Going Solo. It could be like ‘Wild’ by Cheryl Strayed, an inspirational and literal journey from where she was to who she became. Unfortunately this one had all of the introspection with none of the self awareness, all of the self-centredness with no real recognition of how bitter and sad the voice in this diary is, even 30 years later.
I’m not really sure who this is for, to be honest. Newly separated people? Theroux completists?
I don’t want to read any more from Anne, and judging by the content of the books Paul Theroux writes about, I don’t really want to read his either. A wannabe Ernest Hemingway or William Faulkner with a hefty dose of colonialism. A few times in the book Anne complains about being featured as a shrewish, nagging character, and also the way that her pupils in Africa are objectified, seen as grotesque caricatures of teenaged women with big bottoms and breasts. I’d be a bit annoyed too, to be honest.

They’re just not very nice to each other, and in some ways this feels like her revenge, her chance to tell everyone how controlling and awful he was, his serial philandering forcing her to turn to extra marital affairs and leaving her feeling abandoned in her forties, with a couple of grown up sons. Which is understandable, but it doesn’t make for a good read.
Perhaps it’s the tone of it that is jarring - she complains for quite a lot of the book that the various charities she’s signed up for can’t get her a job in Africa, despite her BBC experience, in a real ‘don't you know who I am’, display. It’s quite cringey and has more than a whiff of white saviour about it - she’s almost definitely someone who still pronounces it ‘Keenya’. It’s hard to feel sorry for someone who’s moaning that their house in London isn’t big enough for them, that she isn’t invited to the in-laws for the summer and can only go on two abroad holidays a year, basically. Plenty more people have plenty more to worry about, and even with the benefit of present day vision, there’s no humility or reference to how bitter she was and how ungrateful for what is essentially, a good life.

I’m still looking forward to Louis’ memoir, and I did enjoy the mentions of him, especially the one of him going to see his friends ‘Joe and Adam’. Although everyone knows that it’s ‘Adam and Joe’, so even that was a bit jarring.

Not for me, I’m afraid, but thank you to Netgalley and to Icon for the DRC.

[False · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a good thing she kept notebooks during the year of her marriage's dissolution. This book answered many questions I had about the Theroux family--much gleaned from dropped hints in their own work, or articles written about the family. Knowing there had been infidelity, even though the husband swore, at the time, that it was "fiction," you knew there had to be more to it than that. His words didn't ring true. Hers do. Theroux documents the last year of her marriage with flashbacks to their history together. I honestly don’t know why she endured the marriage as long as she did as her husband was a serial cheater. It was an interesting read about coming to terms with a relationship that no longer worked and how there truly is no time limit toward healing. Each to his or her own pace.

It was painful to read about her ongoing self blame and sadness due to her husband's inability to be honest and be in a mature relationship. Beware of traveling Boy Scouts. They never want to grow up. Next up: Alexander Theroux's past loves and the art of the revenge novel(s.) One of two sisters is dead. Since both were victims of vile poems and character study in novels (and they may have been materialistic grab bunnies. We don't know. One is now deceased.) Yet in this book, Anne writes of how the "boys" were allowed to shine and hold stage. The sisters in their old-fashioned (to modern eyes) roles of table clutter cleaners and wiper uppers. Anne Theroux isn't the only one thinking about Philip Larkin today.

[SadieReadsAgain · Rating 3 out of 5]

Anne was the wife of writer Paul Theroux, and in the year their marriage fell apart she kept a record - part diary of what she was doing day-to-day, and part journal of her feelings and thoughts. In this memoir, she uses that record to reflect on life with her husband, life as their marriage ended, and life since.

Having been badly burned by the end of my own marriage, I have been on a search for a woman who can put into words far better than I how the experience feels. As all experiences are different, I haven't yet found what I'm looking for. In parts I felt there was a whiff of recognition in Anne's words, particularly in being on the receiving end of a betrayal. But the immense privilege inherent in her lifestyle, and her own acts of infidelity, snuffed that out quite a bit.

However, what I enjoyed about this memoir is also quite clearly linked to those two aspects. Anne's life is incredibly interesting to read about, before and during the marriage breakdown. And she is honest about her own faults, as well as those of her husband. Combined, this makes for quite a compelling, if very sad, read. It is brave to put these details out there, and no doubt that's why she has left quite a distance between the events and publishing this book. But her approach, both in the format and in the writing style, drew me in and kept me reading.


I received a Netgalley of this title from Icon Books in return for a review. All opinions are my own.

[Kate Southey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh good grief what have I just read? Anne Theroux marries a man she knows she shouldn’t be marrying, who before he’s even got a ring on her finger has told her that her career doesn’t matter and that she is there simply to follow his life. She then spends a mostly unhappy 20 odd years with him, terribly wronged by this unfaithful, arrogant narcissist and you feel sorry for her until she admits her own 3 affairs, but it’s ok... she did it because she was lonely. Could my eyes roll back any further? He leaves, she begs him back, she gets ragey and leaves him drunken answerphone messages. Meanwhile she is living a life of financial privilege that few have the opportunity to live, working globally in a field she loves but still whines about being unfulfilled while she subcontracts out the raising of her sons to a series of young nannies, (who she speaks of appallingly in the opening chapters) schools and
universities.
I think her ex husband Paul still wins in the arrogant narcissist stakes but my word does she come a close second with her self indulgent whining.
There was a lot of discussion of literature and the fascinating work she did in broadcasting and people she interviewed which is the only reason I finished the book rather than abandoning it.

[Critter · Rating 2 out of 5]

This autobiography is written in a diary style formatting that looks into the divorce of Anne Theroux and her former husband. Anne's account of the divorce shows that her life is very different than many lives and takes a look at the many people she has met, interviewed, and the countries she has seen. Despite there being many areas that could have been richly detailed and elaborated on, I felt that there was a distance between Anne and the material. Divorce can manifest in many with with many different emotions being brought up. However, I didn't feel any emotions come from this book or feel for any individual in this book. Anne's reflections and manner of writing about the divorce felt distant. There were other points of this book that annoyed me a bit that I wished that she had done some kind of reflecting on of her past self in this book. I do believe that people are flawed and Anne does do a good job of revealing some of her flaws. I only wish that she had provided me with more material to make me care about the pain and emotional turmoil of going through a divorce.

I would like to thank Icon Books for providing me with an ARC.

[Krista Toovey · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Louis Theroux devotee, with a penchant for a good divorce memoir from a female perspective, there was nothing in this book for me not to love.

I listened on Audible where I got the most out of Anne’s beautiful reading voice (BBC’s finest) and found her prose so calming, thoughtful and honest. A combination of journalistic and figurative, confessional and practical. I really enjoyed it. I loved her dissections of the social expectations of wives of successful men to be cheerleaders, to be ‘pretty girls’ smiling and making jellies and not ‘dissatisfied women’ who have a high expectation of the way they should be treated by their genius husbands.

Well Anne, after this book, I am YOUR biggest cheerleader - I have tried a couple of Paul’s books and haven’t got through any. I find his writing pompous, gratuitous and boring. In contrast, I couldn’t put your book down. It read me as much as I read it. Too long have you sat in the sidelines as his wife or Louis’s mum, you deserve to be celebrated in your own right and I hope many, many people read this book and you get the recognition you have always deserved…. The way a lot of women deserve so much more recognition than history has afforded them.

[Chrissy Frost · Rating 4 out of 5]

The real mystery of the marriage between Paul and Anne Theroux, is: how in the world did it last for over two decades? Multiple infidelities on both sides, resentments, conflicting goals for the future were all in the mix of this doomed relationship. Paul was clearly a very bad husband with more than a touch of the narcissist about him. Anne had simmering resentment because she gave up so many of her ambitions to support his writing career and raise their two sons. But they limped on for an incredible 22 years. Anne's memoir draws on the diary she kept during the last year of their unravelling marriage. As I am a fan of Paul Theroux's novels and books and also a fan of son Louis, I was very interested in reading this memoir. It is rather a sad story of a marriage between two highly intelligent and fortunate people - whose life together was riddled with tension and unhappiness. There is no sense of much shared joy or even the ordinary comforts of compatible domesticity. An interesting read but leaving a rather melancholy feeling in its wake.

[Nicola Pierce · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was looking for an easy read, something not too demanding but interesting all the same, and this fit the bill perfectly. It's a 1990s diary describing the birth and death of a relationship after the couple agreed to separate for six months and made all the more interesting because the keeper of this sporadic diary was married to writer Paul Theroux and looks back on their marriage with hindsight gained from her eventual diploma in couple counselling. She led an interesting life and refused to knuckle down and play the supporting role in the marriage. Instead, she continually sought her own position in life, via a satisfying career, travel and numerous friends. Read it in two sittings.

[Gerdien · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book describes what it is to be the wife of a very successful but demanding author in the 1960s and 70s, how you hope that being a good partner, foregoing a career of your own, will mean you will share in the adventurous life of your husband. It describes the many disappointments when that does not happen... and it describes the heartbreak when you decide that this cannot go on and divorce. You give up all the dreams you once had and need to carve out a new life for yourself, almost from scratch.

Anne Theroux describes this, her life with and divorce from Paul Theroux, very clearly. I recognise the generation of my mother in her story and my heart goes out to her.

[Nrofra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed listening to the author speak plainly and frankly about her marriage to a complicated man—Paul Theroux. He was so good at his unfaithfulness to her that he cleverly managed to make her feel guilty for HIS infidelity. Throughout the story it loosely uses the timeline of what was going on in their business lives as well (periods of which book Paul was writing at the time, or which projects she was working on for the BBC.

[Janilyn Kocher · Rating 3 out of 5]

Theroux documents the last year of her marriage with flashbacks to their history together. I honestly don’t know why she endured the marriage as long as she did as her husband was a serial cheater. It was an interesting read about coming to terms with a relationship that no longer worked. Thanks to Icon Books and Edelweiss for the advance copy.

[Mark Hall · Rating 2 out of 5]

Why did she decide to focus this on every man she had an affair with? Just random reciting of diaries entries, like "I went and saw lord of the flies" and "I looked through my contacts for men to have affairs with". Husband's off doing the same thing. Poor ol' Louis, how's he not totally screwed up. Ramblings of an upper class lady wandering around aimlessly.

[Alexandra French]

Really quite interesting, especially since having recently read Paul Theroux's "The Happy Isles of Oceania", the book he wrote after his separation from Anne, and in which he is paddling an inflatable boat around the South Pacific islands

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Slightly sad, but not too sad because you know the events have long since passed, and interesting, because how different people do the thing we call marriage is interesting. Thoughtful in the way I expect people who've studied counselling to be thoughtful.

[Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

A life well lived but with sadness - she stayed behind and raised their children while Paul the famous travel writer whisked around the world and left her behind - not the glamorous exciting life that I expected her to have had but a life of longing for stability and love not present.

[Emilie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mildly interesting but repetitive which could be said of life I guess. I feel like the red flags were there from their time in Uganda and the outcome was inevitable for so many years with the incessant cheating but somehow she clung on. What a lonely and painful time it must have been for her.