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Still Stace: My Gay Christian Coming-of-Age Story
Is it possible to be gay and Christian?
Stacey loves being a Christian. Her best friends are also her church friends. Her favorite place on earth is Bible camp every summer. And she talks to God like they are old friends.
But one summer, she meets a girl who turns everything upside down. Is this feeling she has for her more than just friendship? Could it be a crush? Filled with dread, Stacey embarks on a journey to discover what it means to be gay, whether it is possible to change, and how to reconcile her identity with her faith. Will it even be possible?
In this young-adult illustrated memoir, Stacey Chomiak tells the true story of her teenage and young-adult years: of heartbreak, family conflict, trying to become ex-gay, wrestling with her faith, and finding love. Uncovering happiness and joy while surrounded by the loneliness of a world that actively excludes her seems insurmountable. Until she learns to love her full self. Then the possibility of being both gay and Christian seems not just possible, but the best answer of all.
Stacey loves being a Christian. Her best friends are also her church friends. Her favorite place on earth is Bible camp every summer. And she talks to God like they are old friends.
But one summer, she meets a girl who turns everything upside down. Is this feeling she has for her more than just friendship? Could it be a crush? Filled with dread, Stacey embarks on a journey to discover what it means to be gay, whether it is possible to change, and how to reconcile her identity with her faith. Will it even be possible?
In this young-adult illustrated memoir, Stacey Chomiak tells the true story of her teenage and young-adult years: of heartbreak, family conflict, trying to become ex-gay, wrestling with her faith, and finding love. Uncovering happiness and joy while surrounded by the loneliness of a world that actively excludes her seems insurmountable. Until she learns to love her full self. Then the possibility of being both gay and Christian seems not just possible, but the best answer of all.
269 pages, Hardcover
First published October 19, 2021
9 people are currently reading
316 people want to read
About the author
Stacey Chomiak
6 books21 followersStacey Chomiak is an artist in the animation industry, getting her start on the well-loved series “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic”. While she continues to lend her talents to various children’s animated shows, she also illustrates kids books, and is an SCBWI member. She lives happily nestled amid the tall trees of the West Coast, not far from Vancouver, Canada. Stacey identifies as a gay Christian, and loves to advocate for the LGBTQ community and have conversations around faith and sexuality. When she isn’t furiously sketching, Stacey is likely to be out for a jog, critiquing her favourite Hitchcock film, or encouraging her children to dance with her to Whitney Houston. Follow her art journey on Instagram @staceychomiakart.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 104 reviews
February 27, 2022
Wow. I don’t usually like to review or even rate memoirs. How can you assign a star rating to someone’s life experience? Sure some resonate more, or are written better than others, but I just really feel uncomfortable doing it. This book though.
I have never identified more with anything I’ve read. Ever. This was my life. Right down to the details. The worship songs, the CCM music artists, Brio magazine, the uncomfortable time with my parents when Rosie O’Donnell came out. My parents denial. My parents pushing me to date a freaking PEDOPHILE because he was a “Christian” man. My parents were also heavily involved in Exodus, the ex gay “ministry”. I never had the guilt and shame that Stacey experienced so profoundly, but I can understand it.
Besides the fact that I identified so intensely with Stacey and her journey, it was such a beautifully written and illustrated memoir. I felt so much for her, and was yearning for everything to work out. Thank you Stacey for writing such a profoundly moving book.
I have never identified more with anything I’ve read. Ever. This was my life. Right down to the details. The worship songs, the CCM music artists, Brio magazine, the uncomfortable time with my parents when Rosie O’Donnell came out. My parents denial. My parents pushing me to date a freaking PEDOPHILE because he was a “Christian” man. My parents were also heavily involved in Exodus, the ex gay “ministry”. I never had the guilt and shame that Stacey experienced so profoundly, but I can understand it.
Besides the fact that I identified so intensely with Stacey and her journey, it was such a beautifully written and illustrated memoir. I felt so much for her, and was yearning for everything to work out. Thank you Stacey for writing such a profoundly moving book.
November 19, 2021
This book moved me.
August 8, 2021
Thanks to the publisher for providing an eARC of Still Stace in exchange for an honest review.
Wow, this book is heart crushingly honest. Author Stacey Chomiak does a really good job of capturing her battle with her identity and how it evolves throughout her life and its impossible not to feel for her. I loved watching her grow and learn to accept herself throughout this and definitely think this could be really impactful for religious queer teens.
Some of the writing (particularly the speech) does feel a bit hokey but that could also just be due to the fact that this is Stacey recalling and paraphrasing things that happened years ago.
Wow, this book is heart crushingly honest. Author Stacey Chomiak does a really good job of capturing her battle with her identity and how it evolves throughout her life and its impossible not to feel for her. I loved watching her grow and learn to accept herself throughout this and definitely think this could be really impactful for religious queer teens.
Some of the writing (particularly the speech) does feel a bit hokey but that could also just be due to the fact that this is Stacey recalling and paraphrasing things that happened years ago.
May 22, 2023
4.5 stars
An extremely thought-provoking book.
This was a memoir of a young girl who had grown up in a conservative Christian home, enjoying time spent at church during the week. Stacey looked forward to church camp every summer, thrilled by the music, Bible teaching, and friends to have fun with. One year at camp as a teen, Stacey began to experience some feelings, different than she’d ever felt before, toward one of the female counselors…
This was the start of a life-long struggle for a girl who loved God, had professed faith in Christ, but had to hide the fact that she was attracted to other women, because of the stance her church took on homosexuality. For years, she refused to “come out”, afraid of certain estrangement from family and friends. Could Stacey profess her love for another woman, but still be a follower of Christ?…
Memorable Quotes:
(Pg.30.)-“Those feelings for Joanna had seriously snuck up on me. I couldn’t control them, as mush as I tried. I had never felt these desires for boys. The thought of kissing a boy repulsed me. Something must be really wrong with me.”
(Pg.123)-“Stacey, I just don’t understand why you think God thinks being gay is the worst sin. Aren’t we all sinners anyway, regardless of who we love?”
(Pg. 128.)-“Since this was a Christian campus, the rules were that girls roomed with girls and guys with guys. This was supposed to be a conference for people trying to become “ex-gay”. Not sure they had thought that one through.”
(Pg.251)-“She (Tams) spoke through low-level rage. “How can you be so awful to your own daughter? She is trying to be honest. She has been trying to do the right thing for fourteen years! I think that you are hypocritical and judgmental, and that the way you love Stacey is conditional. Which is not the way God loves us. You have no right to speak on God’s behalf for Stace’s life, or for our marriage. We are going to have a life together, and God will bless it. End of story.”
An extremely thought-provoking book.
This was a memoir of a young girl who had grown up in a conservative Christian home, enjoying time spent at church during the week. Stacey looked forward to church camp every summer, thrilled by the music, Bible teaching, and friends to have fun with. One year at camp as a teen, Stacey began to experience some feelings, different than she’d ever felt before, toward one of the female counselors…
This was the start of a life-long struggle for a girl who loved God, had professed faith in Christ, but had to hide the fact that she was attracted to other women, because of the stance her church took on homosexuality. For years, she refused to “come out”, afraid of certain estrangement from family and friends. Could Stacey profess her love for another woman, but still be a follower of Christ?…
Memorable Quotes:
(Pg.30.)-“Those feelings for Joanna had seriously snuck up on me. I couldn’t control them, as mush as I tried. I had never felt these desires for boys. The thought of kissing a boy repulsed me. Something must be really wrong with me.”
(Pg.123)-“Stacey, I just don’t understand why you think God thinks being gay is the worst sin. Aren’t we all sinners anyway, regardless of who we love?”
(Pg. 128.)-“Since this was a Christian campus, the rules were that girls roomed with girls and guys with guys. This was supposed to be a conference for people trying to become “ex-gay”. Not sure they had thought that one through.”
(Pg.251)-“She (Tams) spoke through low-level rage. “How can you be so awful to your own daughter? She is trying to be honest. She has been trying to do the right thing for fourteen years! I think that you are hypocritical and judgmental, and that the way you love Stacey is conditional. Which is not the way God loves us. You have no right to speak on God’s behalf for Stace’s life, or for our marriage. We are going to have a life together, and God will bless it. End of story.”
July 10, 2022
This was just okay for me.
I love that Chomiak shared her story, and I can't wait to see this in print with her illustrations!
It wasn't exactly what I thought it would be, so my expectations kinda brought my rating down?
Looking at the cover, description and the length of the audio, I thought this would be a bit more loose? Yes I realize there are much question marks in my review. This one is hard to describe, since I think some of my issues with this may not have been an issue if I had read this in print, or had a different narrator carrying me along.
The narration was delivered in a cold and clinical way, that had detachment flowing out with her words. It took all the emotion out of the book for me. This is one of those instances where having the author read the book didn't work. Sometimes you get MORE emotion when an author reads their story, and other times it feels stiff because they aren't comfortable behind the mic and it reads in their voice.
While Stace was struggling to find her place in the world, I was daydreaming about what this would be like if Amanda Ronconi or Renee Dorian had read it?
I do hope people read her story since their is (sadly) a lot of kids out their dealing with the visceral hate and self doubt she felt throughout her formative years. No one needs to feel unloved for being who they are.
Just get the print copy.
Big thanks to NetGalley & OrangeSky Audio for my DRC.
I love that Chomiak shared her story, and I can't wait to see this in print with her illustrations!
It wasn't exactly what I thought it would be, so my expectations kinda brought my rating down?
Looking at the cover, description and the length of the audio, I thought this would be a bit more loose? Yes I realize there are much question marks in my review. This one is hard to describe, since I think some of my issues with this may not have been an issue if I had read this in print, or had a different narrator carrying me along.
The narration was delivered in a cold and clinical way, that had detachment flowing out with her words. It took all the emotion out of the book for me. This is one of those instances where having the author read the book didn't work. Sometimes you get MORE emotion when an author reads their story, and other times it feels stiff because they aren't comfortable behind the mic and it reads in their voice.
While Stace was struggling to find her place in the world, I was daydreaming about what this would be like if Amanda Ronconi or Renee Dorian had read it?
I do hope people read her story since their is (sadly) a lot of kids out their dealing with the visceral hate and self doubt she felt throughout her formative years. No one needs to feel unloved for being who they are.
Just get the print copy.
Big thanks to NetGalley & OrangeSky Audio for my DRC.
November 21, 2021
Disclaimer: Stace is a friend of mine. However, that's never stopped me from giving thorough and honest reviews before!
This book was originally going to be a much shorter children's book, but I'm glad that it evolved into this more detailed memoir for a young adult audience. I think it's so valuable for LGBTQ+ Christian teens to have this honest story of how Stace moved from a place of shame and numbness to a feeling of peace and wholeness after she started seeking God's voice instead of just the interpretations and beliefs of those around her. I read this book in two sittings; the writing was accessible and the story was compelling. Her voice throughout this book is honest and open as she shares the painful experiences of her past. And her illustrations add such a unique flavor to the story!
Although I don't believe that there's a single book you can hand to a Christian loved one who has strong negative beliefs about LGBTQ+ identities that will change their minds overnight, I do believe that stories are far more powerful than proof-texting or logical arguments in opening people's hearts. I'd put this alongside Torn as my top books for sharing stories from gay Christians who have a deep and authentic faith that informs how they have thought about their sexuality throughout their life. More importantly, though, I think this book is valuable for gay and other LGBTQ+ Christians, especially teenagers, to see their identities reflected back to them in Stace's story. And for anyone from any background who doesn't understand what it's like to struggle with reconciling faith and sexuality, I'd definitely recommend this book.
This book was originally going to be a much shorter children's book, but I'm glad that it evolved into this more detailed memoir for a young adult audience. I think it's so valuable for LGBTQ+ Christian teens to have this honest story of how Stace moved from a place of shame and numbness to a feeling of peace and wholeness after she started seeking God's voice instead of just the interpretations and beliefs of those around her. I read this book in two sittings; the writing was accessible and the story was compelling. Her voice throughout this book is honest and open as she shares the painful experiences of her past. And her illustrations add such a unique flavor to the story!
Although I don't believe that there's a single book you can hand to a Christian loved one who has strong negative beliefs about LGBTQ+ identities that will change their minds overnight, I do believe that stories are far more powerful than proof-texting or logical arguments in opening people's hearts. I'd put this alongside Torn as my top books for sharing stories from gay Christians who have a deep and authentic faith that informs how they have thought about their sexuality throughout their life. More importantly, though, I think this book is valuable for gay and other LGBTQ+ Christians, especially teenagers, to see their identities reflected back to them in Stace's story. And for anyone from any background who doesn't understand what it's like to struggle with reconciling faith and sexuality, I'd definitely recommend this book.
July 4, 2022
Thank you net galley for providing me with an arc of Still Stace: My gay coming of age story in exchange for a honest review.
I absolutely loved this. Staces journey full of confusion,anger, heartbreak as well as finally hope and peace was an absolute emotional rollercoaster to read through and I'd heavily suggest for everyone to take in mind that there is EXTREMELY homophobia excused by religion in this.
Stace through the book manages to captivate beautifully the struggle that is faith and sexuality as well as the difficulties of coming out to a homophobic social circle and household. Id strongly recommend this book to everyone as long as they think they can handle the homophobia related to religion in it.
I absolutely loved this. Staces journey full of confusion,anger, heartbreak as well as finally hope and peace was an absolute emotional rollercoaster to read through and I'd heavily suggest for everyone to take in mind that there is EXTREMELY homophobia excused by religion in this.
Stace through the book manages to captivate beautifully the struggle that is faith and sexuality as well as the difficulties of coming out to a homophobic social circle and household. Id strongly recommend this book to everyone as long as they think they can handle the homophobia related to religion in it.
July 28, 2021
This memoir is so important!
You could truly feel what the author went through and it was impossible not to empathize with her. Throughout the entire book I felt the urge to give her a hug and tell her it was gonna be okay. I also shed a few tears.
I think this is a necessary read for all christian kids of all sexual orientations! Stacey's journey and the little snippets of her conversation with God are inspiring for all and I do believe that kids will grow and learn from it.
The illustrations were absolutely gorgeous and truly added to the story. They made the characters more real and it helped the book flow seamlessly.
I received a copy of this book in exchange of an honest review, all views and opinions are my own.
Thank you Beaming Books for this opportunity.
You could truly feel what the author went through and it was impossible not to empathize with her. Throughout the entire book I felt the urge to give her a hug and tell her it was gonna be okay. I also shed a few tears.
I think this is a necessary read for all christian kids of all sexual orientations! Stacey's journey and the little snippets of her conversation with God are inspiring for all and I do believe that kids will grow and learn from it.
The illustrations were absolutely gorgeous and truly added to the story. They made the characters more real and it helped the book flow seamlessly.
I received a copy of this book in exchange of an honest review, all views and opinions are my own.
Thank you Beaming Books for this opportunity.
March 18, 2024
A thought provoking true story of Stacy Chomiak and her coming to terms with her attraction to women. We follow Stacy with her first crush in high school and her conflict being a born again Christian. She struggled with attraction to women to she meets Tam, another Christian women who soon became the love of her life for years until she came to terms with her sexuality. A wonderful account of coming to terms of your true self. I found this book helpful with my own journey. Loving God and your sexuality can be a struggle. Thank you Stacy for putting a face to this struggle. This book is wonderful for those in the mist of this struggle to those who know someone who are struggling. Thank you Stacy for your transparency!!!
May 6, 2025
Lovely artwork. It's worth noting that this is (as the cover says!) an illustrated memoir, not a graphic memoir, though I'd be interested to see what Chomiak could do with a full graphic novel/memoir—I suspect it would play to her strengths.
Still Stace chronicles Chomiak's long route to reconciling her religion with her sexuality. The church she grew up in was not necessarily one to cast people out for their non-heterosexuality, but it (and her family) was one to approve of the ex-gay movement, to tell Chomiak that god thought homosexuality was disgusting, etc. And since that was the church Chomiak knew and loved, for a long time she thought they must be right—that she was the one who needed to change.
There is a distinction that's missing for me here: the difference between faith and religion. By the former, I mean belief in god (or, more specifically, in this case belief in god as portrayed in the Bible); by the latter, I mean the institution of the church with which Chomiak grew up. To me this distinction is crucial, especially as Chomiak never indicates a questioning of faith throughout the book—but when she says Christian, I understand her to mean not the 2.38 billion people who practice some form of Christianity, but the much, much smaller number of people who practice her church's/family's particular form of conservative Protestantism. I'm left to wonder, then, whether at any point she questioned the religion telling her how to interpret her faith—whether she saw areas of misfit beyond what her religion said about queer relationships, or whether she explored other churches that had the same foundations but different conclusions. (To be fair: I see this a lot in memoirs about conservative religion—and leaving conservative religion—this sense that that particular interpretation is the only form of their faith.) I'd also have loved to know a bit more about Tams's path in religion, because at one point Chomiak says that the reason Tams's family was accepting was 'largely because they weren't Christians' (241); that makes me wonder how Tams herself ended up in this particular religious community herself.
As an aside—and this is not Chomiak's fault, or even the publisher's fault—do not read this on your phone. I should have waited until next week when I could read a hard copy; my eyes still ache from the tiny, cannot-be-sized-up text on my phone.
Still Stace chronicles Chomiak's long route to reconciling her religion with her sexuality. The church she grew up in was not necessarily one to cast people out for their non-heterosexuality, but it (and her family) was one to approve of the ex-gay movement, to tell Chomiak that god thought homosexuality was disgusting, etc. And since that was the church Chomiak knew and loved, for a long time she thought they must be right—that she was the one who needed to change.
There is a distinction that's missing for me here: the difference between faith and religion. By the former, I mean belief in god (or, more specifically, in this case belief in god as portrayed in the Bible); by the latter, I mean the institution of the church with which Chomiak grew up. To me this distinction is crucial, especially as Chomiak never indicates a questioning of faith throughout the book—but when she says Christian, I understand her to mean not the 2.38 billion people who practice some form of Christianity, but the much, much smaller number of people who practice her church's/family's particular form of conservative Protestantism. I'm left to wonder, then, whether at any point she questioned the religion telling her how to interpret her faith—whether she saw areas of misfit beyond what her religion said about queer relationships, or whether she explored other churches that had the same foundations but different conclusions. (To be fair: I see this a lot in memoirs about conservative religion—and leaving conservative religion—this sense that that particular interpretation is the only form of their faith.) I'd also have loved to know a bit more about Tams's path in religion, because at one point Chomiak says that the reason Tams's family was accepting was 'largely because they weren't Christians' (241); that makes me wonder how Tams herself ended up in this particular religious community herself.
As an aside—and this is not Chomiak's fault, or even the publisher's fault—do not read this on your phone. I should have waited until next week when I could read a hard copy; my eyes still ache from the tiny, cannot-be-sized-up text on my phone.
February 2, 2022
Short review: feel like this is a genre-bending product, that really needs to be read by anyone who calls themselves a “Christian,” as I do.
This book is so needed in so many ways, besides being a excellent, graphic memoir, written and illustrated by (the author), on whose story this book is based.
Delving Deeper:
As teens grasp concepts of sexuality and faith in themselves, or need guidance when talking with friends who are struggling, Still Stace provides an excellent conversation starter—for educators, parents, pastors, youth group leaders, middle grade, YA and adult readers. As a Christian, I also believe this illustrated memoir NEEDS to be read, reflected upon, and discussed by all those who call themselves “Christian.”
Stace courageously shares her journey from elementary years to her early adulthood, and her words and experiences address questions I personally have been asked by teens—while working with youth groups at church, and in raising my four children. I have marked passages and written down lines for my personal reflection and to help provide perspective.
Although parts of Stace’s story were painful to read for me, a Christian. Not because of content or subject matter, but because of the responses given throughout the author’s childhood from Christians. I highly recommend this book be read by everyone grappling with sexuality or faith, and also any Christian grappling with the idea that faith can be dictated by who a person loves.
This important book provides hope for the future.
This book is so needed in so many ways, besides being a excellent, graphic memoir, written and illustrated by (the author), on whose story this book is based.
Delving Deeper:
As teens grasp concepts of sexuality and faith in themselves, or need guidance when talking with friends who are struggling, Still Stace provides an excellent conversation starter—for educators, parents, pastors, youth group leaders, middle grade, YA and adult readers. As a Christian, I also believe this illustrated memoir NEEDS to be read, reflected upon, and discussed by all those who call themselves “Christian.”
Stace courageously shares her journey from elementary years to her early adulthood, and her words and experiences address questions I personally have been asked by teens—while working with youth groups at church, and in raising my four children. I have marked passages and written down lines for my personal reflection and to help provide perspective.
Although parts of Stace’s story were painful to read for me, a Christian. Not because of content or subject matter, but because of the responses given throughout the author’s childhood from Christians. I highly recommend this book be read by everyone grappling with sexuality or faith, and also any Christian grappling with the idea that faith can be dictated by who a person loves.
This important book provides hope for the future.
December 28, 2022
Few books have ever made me both cry, pray, give me profound epiphanies, and settle parts of my storm ridden soul.
Stacey Chomiak, I don't know if you will ever see this, but Thank You. From the bottom of my bruised and weary heart Thank You. You have skillfully, wonderfully, faithfully and beautifully put to words the feelings, thoughts, battles, highs and lows that a young me and countless other religious LGBTQ+ youth have experienced so many times in our lives.
This book is a blessing and needs to not only be the first thing gifted to any struggling LGBTQ+ youth, it is also something necessary for those of us who missed out on on our lives while fighting the battle.
Personally my own battle has been 15 years of struggle and denial. Only recently had I decided to come to terms with my Bi-Sexuality and embrace it (its still a slow embrace but getting there), this book was a saving grace that affirms that regardless of whom God has set aside for me, God will be with me, bless me, guide me, and love me because He made us to "live life abundantly"!.
Bless you and Thank you Stacey!
I would give this book well more than 5 stars if I could.
Stacey Chomiak, I don't know if you will ever see this, but Thank You. From the bottom of my bruised and weary heart Thank You. You have skillfully, wonderfully, faithfully and beautifully put to words the feelings, thoughts, battles, highs and lows that a young me and countless other religious LGBTQ+ youth have experienced so many times in our lives.
This book is a blessing and needs to not only be the first thing gifted to any struggling LGBTQ+ youth, it is also something necessary for those of us who missed out on on our lives while fighting the battle.
Personally my own battle has been 15 years of struggle and denial. Only recently had I decided to come to terms with my Bi-Sexuality and embrace it (its still a slow embrace but getting there), this book was a saving grace that affirms that regardless of whom God has set aside for me, God will be with me, bless me, guide me, and love me because He made us to "live life abundantly"!.
Bless you and Thank you Stacey!
I would give this book well more than 5 stars if I could.
January 18, 2023
I think this is a good book, and I would give it to a kid recovering from an conservative family (I almost said ultra-conservative, but I remembered the world we live it.) It felt rather repetitive, since Stacey documents her extended waffling (over a decade) over whether she had to reject her sexuality or her faith (and her parents). It never occurs to her to worry about premarital-sex, which I remember as something else this kind of religion frowns upon, but I guess the prejudice against gays is super extensive deep. All other sins don't have the same import, except maybe for abortion.
More proof that it's not about the sin (or about the bible, or about Jesus). Just about binding a community together through cruelty. I'm glad Stace found her way to happiness, and I hope her parents find a better flavor of Christianity.
More proof that it's not about the sin (or about the bible, or about Jesus). Just about binding a community together through cruelty. I'm glad Stace found her way to happiness, and I hope her parents find a better flavor of Christianity.
February 21, 2022
Strongly recommend. Stacey’s a deeply honest and loving person, which comes through in every page. I am not steeped in church so it’s unfathomable to me how hurtful many of her friends and family can be (the question, “Is it possible to be gay and Christian?” just seems stupid to me. Duh! What does one have to do with the other? I like my bubble, thanks.) I enjoy learning about religious thought, and the concepts of being “perfectly loved” and living in service. It confuses me in a good way.
Thanks to my friends of faith, scholars of theology and religious studies, who always are okay with my weird, blurted-out questions. 🥰
And so much gratitude to SPL - Greenwood Branch for putting this on the New & Recommended shelf.
Thanks to my friends of faith, scholars of theology and religious studies, who always are okay with my weird, blurted-out questions. 🥰
And so much gratitude to SPL - Greenwood Branch for putting this on the New & Recommended shelf.
June 10, 2022
This is a must read for any queer Christian. So full of hope, authenticity, and abundant life. I was talking to a friend the other day. Saying how I love queer romances, but I really want stories that are just normal, supportive, suburban queer people living their lives. And, I think this is one of them. I also appreciated the note to Rachel Held Evans.
January 22, 2022
This book moved me and helped affirm and uplift me in ways that I did not expect. I'm so glad I read it, and that the world has Stace. I'm thankful to Stace for sharing herself with all of us, and the peace reading her memoir gave me.
November 30, 2021
This was a very inspiring book and will be of help to any late teen-early twenties Christian going through the agonies of dealing with being gay.
December 27, 2021
As a queer Christian, I am so glad this book exists.
July 2, 2022
Full disclosure: I immediately requested the book on Netgalley for the cover and the author's (also the narrator) voice alone. I'm so incredibly picky about voices when it comes to books. I didn't even care what the book was about. I just wanted to hear the rest. Then I read the synopsis and I felt that whole karma/fate feeling you get when you find something that was meant for you. As someone who grew up in the nineties, in the heavily conservative Southern Christian Bible Belt, Still Stace hit so close to home.
Still Stace is a coming-of-age story told in bits and pieces throughout the years of Stacey growing up. She is a Christian with her whole heart and wants nothing more than to follow the path her world tells her she should. (There's a song lyric this reminds me of: If you wanna hear God laugh, tell him your plans) But Stacey struggles internally for a long time as she tries to navigate the complicated complexity of her sexuality. She does eventually find peace. And that is the heart of the story. Hope and patience and love are universal. (But that also doesn't stop me from wanting to throw this book at every bigoted so-called Christian lol)
I really thought there was going to be more story involving summer camp because of the cover. Summer camp was an escape and where I came to terms with who I really was. Something I never could do at home or school. It was more home to me than home was. It's just a blip in the beginning of Stacey's story. But, for me, personally, it's probably one of the parts that will stick with me.
At times, the story got a little repetitive. But isn't that how life is? Constantly questioning if you're doing the right thing. Making the right decisions. You don't even have to be religious or queer to relate to that. I have not been involved in anything religious in years. But Stacey's story took me back to those confusing teenage years. It's a bittersweet (and maybe slightly traumatic) nostalgia. I'm glad that so many of us are getting to finally tell our stories. And that queer kids growing up today can read them. With all of the current world chaos, we need them now more than ever.
In conclusion, since I read an early copy via audio, I will be checking out the final hard copy because I didn't realize it's an illustrated memior. And there were so many passages and quotes I want to go back and save.
***Thank you to Beaming Books, Stacey Chomiak, OrangeSky Audio, and Netgalley for giving me the opportunity to review Still Stace.***
Still Stace is a coming-of-age story told in bits and pieces throughout the years of Stacey growing up. She is a Christian with her whole heart and wants nothing more than to follow the path her world tells her she should. (There's a song lyric this reminds me of: If you wanna hear God laugh, tell him your plans) But Stacey struggles internally for a long time as she tries to navigate the complicated complexity of her sexuality. She does eventually find peace. And that is the heart of the story. Hope and patience and love are universal. (But that also doesn't stop me from wanting to throw this book at every bigoted so-called Christian lol)
I really thought there was going to be more story involving summer camp because of the cover. Summer camp was an escape and where I came to terms with who I really was. Something I never could do at home or school. It was more home to me than home was. It's just a blip in the beginning of Stacey's story. But, for me, personally, it's probably one of the parts that will stick with me.
At times, the story got a little repetitive. But isn't that how life is? Constantly questioning if you're doing the right thing. Making the right decisions. You don't even have to be religious or queer to relate to that. I have not been involved in anything religious in years. But Stacey's story took me back to those confusing teenage years. It's a bittersweet (and maybe slightly traumatic) nostalgia. I'm glad that so many of us are getting to finally tell our stories. And that queer kids growing up today can read them. With all of the current world chaos, we need them now more than ever.
In conclusion, since I read an early copy via audio, I will be checking out the final hard copy because I didn't realize it's an illustrated memior. And there were so many passages and quotes I want to go back and save.
***Thank you to Beaming Books, Stacey Chomiak, OrangeSky Audio, and Netgalley for giving me the opportunity to review Still Stace.***
dnf
August 1, 2022I want to preface this by saying that me dnf-ing this book was to no fault of the actual story, it was due to the fact it was hitting a little too close to home in some aspects. I would still recommend it though, and I will hopefully revisit it someday!
dnf @ 22%
This is a memoir talking about what it's like growing up Christian while realizing that you're gay, which then makes you feel isolated from your friends, your family, and your community. It details Stace's path from when she first started having those feelings, through the immense shame and guilt that came with those feelings, trying to "fix" yourself, and ultimately finding acceptance and making peace with yourself.
I will say I'm not Canadian, nor have I practiced religion in the same way depicted in the book (and strangely enough my immediate family wasn't particularly religious), but as a kid, I was doing my absolute most to be (what I thought was) a good Christian. The feelings of shame and thoughts of 'something was wrong with me' in this book resonated very much with me. The research Stace does in the book, trying to figure out what the Bible says and thinking about going to hell hit a little too close to home - which is why I had to, sadly, dnf this book. I thought as those feelings weren't as strong anymore and as this is, all in all, a happy story of acceptance, that it would be a good thing for me to read, but it seems I have more work to do with myself.
I still think this book could be very significant to a lot of people who've dealt with similar experiences, we all experience unlearning those things differently, so I'm sure there are many people who will love this!
Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with the audiobook in exchange for an honest review!
dnf @ 22%
This is a memoir talking about what it's like growing up Christian while realizing that you're gay, which then makes you feel isolated from your friends, your family, and your community. It details Stace's path from when she first started having those feelings, through the immense shame and guilt that came with those feelings, trying to "fix" yourself, and ultimately finding acceptance and making peace with yourself.
I will say I'm not Canadian, nor have I practiced religion in the same way depicted in the book (and strangely enough my immediate family wasn't particularly religious), but as a kid, I was doing my absolute most to be (what I thought was) a good Christian. The feelings of shame and thoughts of 'something was wrong with me' in this book resonated very much with me. The research Stace does in the book, trying to figure out what the Bible says and thinking about going to hell hit a little too close to home - which is why I had to, sadly, dnf this book. I thought as those feelings weren't as strong anymore and as this is, all in all, a happy story of acceptance, that it would be a good thing for me to read, but it seems I have more work to do with myself.
I still think this book could be very significant to a lot of people who've dealt with similar experiences, we all experience unlearning those things differently, so I'm sure there are many people who will love this!
Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with the audiobook in exchange for an honest review!
July 27, 2022
*As is the nature of a memoir, many topics are discussed and could be considered trigger warnings for many people.*
Trigger Warnings: Christianity, homophobia, christian shame/guilt, toxic relationship, control/manipulation, threats of suicide/blackmail, counseling, coming out, drinking, drugs, jail, sex, Gay conversion therapy
Representation: Lesbian, Bisexual, Christian, Canadian, Gay
Still Stace is an illustrated memoir about Stace’s journey growing up as a Christian, while also being gay. Raised in the church, Stacey loves God, her church, her church friends, and bible camp. This is thrown for a loop one summer while at camp, she meets a girl who makes her heart sing. This sparks a decade long journey of self discovery and how to feel at peace with her identity and spirituality.
This audio ARC was provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
I loved this memoir! I may be biased based on my religious upbringing but I thought this was an excellent look into what it is like to be raised in the church but also gay. I thought the writing was clear and well organized. I loved the honesty and truthfulness from the author. I loved how Stacey put her entire heart on her sleeve and was willing to be so vulnerable for her readers. I thought this was incredibly brave and made her journey so much more relatable. While I read, I was hoping for the author to identify when they were the problem more but I think that capability comes from a place of privilege and reflection, which is unfair to assume.
I felt Stacey did a wonderful job on the audiobook. Her reading was clear and smooth. She also brought true emotions to the story. Overall, a fantastic book that religious, ex-religious, and non-religious readers alike should read!
Trigger Warnings: Christianity, homophobia, christian shame/guilt, toxic relationship, control/manipulation, threats of suicide/blackmail, counseling, coming out, drinking, drugs, jail, sex, Gay conversion therapy
Representation: Lesbian, Bisexual, Christian, Canadian, Gay
Still Stace is an illustrated memoir about Stace’s journey growing up as a Christian, while also being gay. Raised in the church, Stacey loves God, her church, her church friends, and bible camp. This is thrown for a loop one summer while at camp, she meets a girl who makes her heart sing. This sparks a decade long journey of self discovery and how to feel at peace with her identity and spirituality.
This audio ARC was provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
I loved this memoir! I may be biased based on my religious upbringing but I thought this was an excellent look into what it is like to be raised in the church but also gay. I thought the writing was clear and well organized. I loved the honesty and truthfulness from the author. I loved how Stacey put her entire heart on her sleeve and was willing to be so vulnerable for her readers. I thought this was incredibly brave and made her journey so much more relatable. While I read, I was hoping for the author to identify when they were the problem more but I think that capability comes from a place of privilege and reflection, which is unfair to assume.
I felt Stacey did a wonderful job on the audiobook. Her reading was clear and smooth. She also brought true emotions to the story. Overall, a fantastic book that religious, ex-religious, and non-religious readers alike should read!
July 8, 2022
This is Stacey's life story of discovering and accepting herself. The author did a really good job of capturing her battle with her identity and how it evolves throughout her life and its impossible not to feel for her. I loved watching her grow and learn to accept herself throughout this.
I'm glad towards the end of the book stace found the peace she was looking for and was finally able to embrace her queer identity.
I'm glad towards the end of the book stace found the peace she was looking for and was finally able to embrace her queer identity.
September 8, 2023
3.5/5 stars
This is an important viewpoint which I don't see shared or represented enough. The dominant gay Christian "coming of age" narrative tends to involve the author "turning straight" or deciding to live a celibate life, and this book is not that. There's not a lot I can criticise because this is a very personal memoir (which also, at times, hit very close to home for me). However I would have liked to see more particular exploration of the author's views on sex before marriage, which is also a highly contentious Christian issue. I believe lots of homophobia within the church is correlated with a stereotype that gay people have sex outside of marriage all the time, and I believe the author would have been in a good position to further explore that issue or any specific thoughts she might have had on it. Was the "temptation" she faced sinful because it was with another girl, or sinful simply because it could lead to sex outside of marriage, regardless of the gender of her partner? Otherwise, I really appreciated this memoir, especially having a love for illustration in common with the author.
This is an important viewpoint which I don't see shared or represented enough. The dominant gay Christian "coming of age" narrative tends to involve the author "turning straight" or deciding to live a celibate life, and this book is not that. There's not a lot I can criticise because this is a very personal memoir (which also, at times, hit very close to home for me). However I would have liked to see more particular exploration of the author's views on sex before marriage, which is also a highly contentious Christian issue. I believe lots of homophobia within the church is correlated with a stereotype that gay people have sex outside of marriage all the time, and I believe the author would have been in a good position to further explore that issue or any specific thoughts she might have had on it. Was the "temptation" she faced sinful because it was with another girl, or sinful simply because it could lead to sex outside of marriage, regardless of the gender of her partner? Otherwise, I really appreciated this memoir, especially having a love for illustration in common with the author.
Read
June 28, 2022There is a distinct lack of queer religious stories and obviously there are loads of reasons for this but I think that that makes this story even more important. I listen to the audiobook as a ALC through NetGalley and so I missed out on the graphic memoir part of this book but I saw a few pieces of the art through the author's social media and really enjoyed it.
There is some homophobia and internalized homophobia within the story so CW for that as well as a homophobia for religious reasons.
I always feel odd rating memoirs because this is someone's lived experience and I think that the audiobook was very well done and the writing kept me invested. I think that a lot of religious queers will find solace in the story and maybe some people will realize that there is a way to be both religious and queer.
This is marketed as young adult but it actually is a full-length memoir from childhood to adulthood and so I wouldn't necessarily count it as either YA or adult but I would push this towards the older side of young adults.
There is some homophobia and internalized homophobia within the story so CW for that as well as a homophobia for religious reasons.
I always feel odd rating memoirs because this is someone's lived experience and I think that the audiobook was very well done and the writing kept me invested. I think that a lot of religious queers will find solace in the story and maybe some people will realize that there is a way to be both religious and queer.
This is marketed as young adult but it actually is a full-length memoir from childhood to adulthood and so I wouldn't necessarily count it as either YA or adult but I would push this towards the older side of young adults.
September 7, 2024
At first I wasn’t going to say anything but I was like, “Wow, Stace treats Tams really awful through all of this, this seems really toxic?”
Listen, I’ve also been a closeted Christian lesbian trying to decide if it was okay with God, but you know what I didn’t do? Drag someone else into it and constantly break up with them for SEVEN YEARS.
I was like well I guess it worked out for them in the end but actually guess what…it didn’t. Stace divorced Tams a year after the book came out. Which when your relationship is built on constant breakups is not surprising.
Also Stace struggled with “is gay okay” but apparently had no qualms about being about to hook up with a married woman? (And no qualms about sex before marriage, which is bizarre to me as someone else from a conservative Christian background.)
I wish this was a sweet coming of age story but really it feels like a story of Stace really needed a therapist (NOT a Christian counselor) and took out her issues on Tams. So. Oof.
Listen, I’ve also been a closeted Christian lesbian trying to decide if it was okay with God, but you know what I didn’t do? Drag someone else into it and constantly break up with them for SEVEN YEARS.
I was like well I guess it worked out for them in the end but actually guess what…it didn’t. Stace divorced Tams a year after the book came out. Which when your relationship is built on constant breakups is not surprising.
Also Stace struggled with “is gay okay” but apparently had no qualms about being about to hook up with a married woman? (And no qualms about sex before marriage, which is bizarre to me as someone else from a conservative Christian background.)
I wish this was a sweet coming of age story but really it feels like a story of Stace really needed a therapist (NOT a Christian counselor) and took out her issues on Tams. So. Oof.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 22, 2022
I cannot say that I enjoyed this book…but I wasn’t necessarily supposed to.
Trigger Warnings: This entire book is drenched in religious trauma, homophobia, and internalized homophobia. Suicidal ideation, use of suicide as a threat, harassment, guilt, and shame. If these themes will cause you distress to read, I would not recommend the book, despite the underlying message.
This is a true story of the author’s journey in exploring and understanding her sexuality and reconciling this understanding with her faith. The main message of this story is that there is, in fact, a space to exist as both Christian and queer. However, depending on your circumstances that finding this space can be exceedingly difficult and often feel impossible.
The author tells her story from first exploring sexual feelings in adolescence to her eventually finding peace almost two decades later. Those two decades are the majority of the book and they are fraught with pain and trauma, which can transfer easily onto the reader. Feeling that reconciliation with her faith was so impossible that she attended a conversion camp and religious “counselling” with a “counsellor” who was a twat. Coming out to various friends/family over the course of two decades and the widely negative response she received leading her to feel “overwhelmingly unsafe.”
I wanted to DNF this book so many times (at 31%, 41%, and 65% to be exact) because these themes are hard for me to sit through due to my own personal experiences. However, I stuck it out because I hoped that by the end of the book I would see the Stace grow to accept herself, her sexuality, and even her religious beliefs and I felt the message was truly important. I am pleased to say that this does in fact happen by the close of the book, but not until approximately 83% and even then there was no magical happily ever after BECAUSE THAT’S NOT THE REALITY for this author and often for this community.
My primary complaints about this book are that there were no trigger warnings posted at the beginning (or even the end of the book) and that it was marketed as a YA coming-of-age book. This is not a book that I would recommend to a teen who is struggling with their faith and sexuality. This is a book that I would recommend to an adult who was interested in understanding the perspective, and lived experience, of someone who identified at both Christian and LGBTQ+. I might also recommend this book to someone who may resonate with and feel validated by this story.
I listened to the audiobook, narrated by the author, via NetGalley. Which also means that I missed out on all of the beautiful illustrations that are in the hard copies of this book, and these illustrations likely would change the vibe while reading this book. This audiobook was provided to me via NetGalley by OrangeSky Audio in exchange for an honest review.
3.5 stars rounded down.
Trigger Warnings: This entire book is drenched in religious trauma, homophobia, and internalized homophobia. Suicidal ideation, use of suicide as a threat, harassment, guilt, and shame. If these themes will cause you distress to read, I would not recommend the book, despite the underlying message.
This is a true story of the author’s journey in exploring and understanding her sexuality and reconciling this understanding with her faith. The main message of this story is that there is, in fact, a space to exist as both Christian and queer. However, depending on your circumstances that finding this space can be exceedingly difficult and often feel impossible.
The author tells her story from first exploring sexual feelings in adolescence to her eventually finding peace almost two decades later. Those two decades are the majority of the book and they are fraught with pain and trauma, which can transfer easily onto the reader. Feeling that reconciliation with her faith was so impossible that she attended a conversion camp and religious “counselling” with a “counsellor” who was a twat. Coming out to various friends/family over the course of two decades and the widely negative response she received leading her to feel “overwhelmingly unsafe.”
I wanted to DNF this book so many times (at 31%, 41%, and 65% to be exact) because these themes are hard for me to sit through due to my own personal experiences. However, I stuck it out because I hoped that by the end of the book I would see the Stace grow to accept herself, her sexuality, and even her religious beliefs and I felt the message was truly important. I am pleased to say that this does in fact happen by the close of the book, but not until approximately 83% and even then there was no magical happily ever after BECAUSE THAT’S NOT THE REALITY for this author and often for this community.
My primary complaints about this book are that there were no trigger warnings posted at the beginning (or even the end of the book) and that it was marketed as a YA coming-of-age book. This is not a book that I would recommend to a teen who is struggling with their faith and sexuality. This is a book that I would recommend to an adult who was interested in understanding the perspective, and lived experience, of someone who identified at both Christian and LGBTQ+. I might also recommend this book to someone who may resonate with and feel validated by this story.
I listened to the audiobook, narrated by the author, via NetGalley. Which also means that I missed out on all of the beautiful illustrations that are in the hard copies of this book, and these illustrations likely would change the vibe while reading this book. This audiobook was provided to me via NetGalley by OrangeSky Audio in exchange for an honest review.
3.5 stars rounded down.
Read
December 17, 2022When I first saw the title and summary of this book, I just knew I had to read it. It sounded so close to my own experiences and struggles, I was very moved to see someone else’s story reflect that, and I had a feeling it would make me cry (spoiler: it did). It was a very short audiobook to listen to – I was done in a few hours – but it gave me all the feels. I read that the physical version also has beautiful illustrations by the author so I’m gonna try to find that!
Still Stace tells the real story of the author, Stacey (who is also the narrator of the audiobook), who discovers as a teenager that she’s attracted to girls. As she’s also a fervent Christian, loves her Church and learning about Jesus, she starts feeling very confused and guilty about her attraction and relationship with a girl from her youth group. And that’s how her over a decade long struggle with her own sexuality and identity, as well as the prejudice from her community and family, starts.
I’m not sure how to review this book. It was what you’d expect from a story of self-discovery: painful and sad but also full of hope. It was heart-wrenching to see young Stacey convince herself she was sinful and that something was wrong with her, talk about going back on the “right path” and taking all the burden of her parents’ happiness and approval on herself. I think there was a double layer to the story as well: on the one hand, it’s about her own journey of accepting that she can be both Christian and gay, and feeling accepted by God, but on the other it was also about the self-loathing and shame that came from her community and her own parents, and having to get through that. I was so happy when Stace met supportive and loving friends, and later on a partner, who were able to comfort her and help her throughout her personal and spiritual journey. I especially loved her brother and how they were able to be there for each other, in a very quiet but core way. I thought the contrast between her previous abusive relationship and her ultimately happy, healthy one strongly highlighted how a partner shouldn’t make you feel ashamed or wrong, but on the contrary push you closer to God if that’s what’s important to you.
In a way, I want to force everyone to read this book, both religious people who reject queer people, AND members of the LGBTQ+ community who look down on religion and how important it is to some queer people. I feel like that intersection isn’t addressed very often in the LGBTQ+ community and it was so important to me, as a queer believer (although not Christian), to read about it.
TWs: homophobia, religious trauma, parental rejection, abusive relationship.
Thank you to NetGalley and OrangeSky Audio for providing an audiobook ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Still Stace tells the real story of the author, Stacey (who is also the narrator of the audiobook), who discovers as a teenager that she’s attracted to girls. As she’s also a fervent Christian, loves her Church and learning about Jesus, she starts feeling very confused and guilty about her attraction and relationship with a girl from her youth group. And that’s how her over a decade long struggle with her own sexuality and identity, as well as the prejudice from her community and family, starts.
I’m not sure how to review this book. It was what you’d expect from a story of self-discovery: painful and sad but also full of hope. It was heart-wrenching to see young Stacey convince herself she was sinful and that something was wrong with her, talk about going back on the “right path” and taking all the burden of her parents’ happiness and approval on herself. I think there was a double layer to the story as well: on the one hand, it’s about her own journey of accepting that she can be both Christian and gay, and feeling accepted by God, but on the other it was also about the self-loathing and shame that came from her community and her own parents, and having to get through that. I was so happy when Stace met supportive and loving friends, and later on a partner, who were able to comfort her and help her throughout her personal and spiritual journey. I especially loved her brother and how they were able to be there for each other, in a very quiet but core way. I thought the contrast between her previous abusive relationship and her ultimately happy, healthy one strongly highlighted how a partner shouldn’t make you feel ashamed or wrong, but on the contrary push you closer to God if that’s what’s important to you.
In a way, I want to force everyone to read this book, both religious people who reject queer people, AND members of the LGBTQ+ community who look down on religion and how important it is to some queer people. I feel like that intersection isn’t addressed very often in the LGBTQ+ community and it was so important to me, as a queer believer (although not Christian), to read about it.
TWs: homophobia, religious trauma, parental rejection, abusive relationship.
Thank you to NetGalley and OrangeSky Audio for providing an audiobook ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
June 23, 2022
Trigger Warning: religious trauma, homophobia, lesbophobia, suicide threats, harassment, shame, guilt
I’m not a fan of reviewing autobiography’s or memoirs, it just feels weird to try and rate someone’s personal experience. However this is an easy 5 stars in terms of saying what just needs to be said.
The book looks at Stacey Chomiak’s personal experience of growing up as both Christian and gay. The book covers 2 decades of her struggle with her identity. Stacey’s experience of homophobia and lesbophobia was horrible to listen to but is something that happens over the planet for queer people who are religious. Stacey does an incredible job of explaining her struggles through life and battling her identity for so many years.
This book is so important for queer teens but it does need to come with trigger warnings due to the topics it covers and how emotional the book is!
Some of the writing is a tad repetitive but that might be due to recalling past memories and experiences. I’m also gutted that I missed out on all the incredible illustrations due to this copy being an audiobook, but the story itself was amazing so I still understood everything.
Thank you to NetGalley and OrangeSky Audio for a copy of an e-arc of Still Stace in exchange for an honest review!
I’m not a fan of reviewing autobiography’s or memoirs, it just feels weird to try and rate someone’s personal experience. However this is an easy 5 stars in terms of saying what just needs to be said.
The book looks at Stacey Chomiak’s personal experience of growing up as both Christian and gay. The book covers 2 decades of her struggle with her identity. Stacey’s experience of homophobia and lesbophobia was horrible to listen to but is something that happens over the planet for queer people who are religious. Stacey does an incredible job of explaining her struggles through life and battling her identity for so many years.
This book is so important for queer teens but it does need to come with trigger warnings due to the topics it covers and how emotional the book is!
Some of the writing is a tad repetitive but that might be due to recalling past memories and experiences. I’m also gutted that I missed out on all the incredible illustrations due to this copy being an audiobook, but the story itself was amazing so I still understood everything.
Thank you to NetGalley and OrangeSky Audio for a copy of an e-arc of Still Stace in exchange for an honest review!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 7, 2024
I can't imagine doing what Stace did to Tams to someone I love. This is the part that I hate the most. I know this is a real person and a real relationship I'm criticizing, but if I was Tams, I never would've stuck around that long. There are only so many chances and heartbreaks I could handle before moving on to protect myself. Just because a relationship is "safe" does not mean it's not still doing you harm.
Good for them for working it out, but if someone was constantly telling me that our love was wrong, I'd leave. I get that this is a struggle for many people of faith, but to foist your internal struggle on someone who doesn't deserve that is callous.
I recognize that I have never been religious and not even that faithful, but I've dated 3 closeted/semi-closeted people (one from a conservative family and one Christian from a religious family) and it's exhausting both mentally and physically. I can't imagine enduring 7+ years of that with one person, especially when the (more) closeted person says that they love you, but it's wrong to do so.
EDIT: all right my friend and I are nosy AF, so it turns out Stace divorced Tams a year after this book came out. So put Tams through all that bs and pain and STILL permanently ended it.
Tams if see this, I hope your life is going much better without Stace. You deserve happiness and someone who actually loves you.
Good for them for working it out, but if someone was constantly telling me that our love was wrong, I'd leave. I get that this is a struggle for many people of faith, but to foist your internal struggle on someone who doesn't deserve that is callous.
I recognize that I have never been religious and not even that faithful, but I've dated 3 closeted/semi-closeted people (one from a conservative family and one Christian from a religious family) and it's exhausting both mentally and physically. I can't imagine enduring 7+ years of that with one person, especially when the (more) closeted person says that they love you, but it's wrong to do so.
EDIT: all right my friend and I are nosy AF, so it turns out Stace divorced Tams a year after this book came out. So put Tams through all that bs and pain and STILL permanently ended it.
Tams if see this, I hope your life is going much better without Stace. You deserve happiness and someone who actually loves you.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 13, 2022
This is a really tough one to rate! I thoroughly enjoyed this illustrated memoir and thought the author did an excellent job sharing her story in an honest, vulnerable way. It was absolutely heartbreaking and so sad for 90% of it. I'm glad she found the peace she was looking for and was finally able to embrace her queer identity.
When I picked this up, I thought from the cover that maybe she was at a Christian summer camp and would eventually leave Christianity as she embraced her queerness. I was shook that she remained a Christian by the end. That's my own biases coming into play, as I am no longer a practicing Christian despite being raised that way. I just couldn't believe that she would choose to remain in the faith despite all the harm Christianity has done to the queer community and beyond.
It's not for me to judge her choices of course, and I'm happy she and her wife & fam are happy! Plus, I think this would be an awesome resource for Christian kids struggling to navigate their own sexuality/queerness. It's doing exactly the job its meant to do :) I'm just not 100% the precise target audience and that's okay!
When I picked this up, I thought from the cover that maybe she was at a Christian summer camp and would eventually leave Christianity as she embraced her queerness. I was shook that she remained a Christian by the end. That's my own biases coming into play, as I am no longer a practicing Christian despite being raised that way. I just couldn't believe that she would choose to remain in the faith despite all the harm Christianity has done to the queer community and beyond.
It's not for me to judge her choices of course, and I'm happy she and her wife & fam are happy! Plus, I think this would be an awesome resource for Christian kids struggling to navigate their own sexuality/queerness. It's doing exactly the job its meant to do :) I'm just not 100% the precise target audience and that's okay!
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