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Mrs. Lincoln: A Life
Abraham Lincoln is the most revered president in American history, but the woman at the center of his life—his wife, Mary—has remained a historical enigma. One of the most tragic and mysterious of nineteenth-century figures, Mary Lincoln and her story symbolize the pain and loss of Civil War America. Authoritative and utterly engrossing, Mrs. Lincoln is the long-awaited portrait of the woman who so richly contributed to Lincoln's life and legacy.
432 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2009
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1400 people want to read
About the author
Catherine Clinton
58 books69 followersProfessor of history at Queen's University, Belfast, Northern Ireland. Specializes in American history, African-American history, the Civil War, and women's history. Previously taught at Brandeis and Harvard universities. Born in 1952, grew up in Kansas City, Missouri. Studied sociology and history at Harvard, earned a master's degree from Sussex and a doctorate from Princeton.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 171 reviews
December 7, 2023
Mary Todd Lincoln may be one of the most controversial First Ladies in American history. Books have been written about her life which range from accusations of tyranny, insanity,self aggrandizement, et al. This well written history of her life is much more neutral as the author tries to find the truth about her life before and after the assassination of her husband. and how if affected her personality. The Lincoln family destroyed much of her correspondence but the author's source material is still factual.
Mary Todd was from a upper-class southern family with political connections and was well educated for a woman of her times. She had many male admirers but she saw something special in Abraham Lincoln, a poor and uneducated man and married him against the wishes of her family. She was determined to assist her husband to greater things and channeled her ambitions into his political career. She made some enemies along the way but, as we know, she exceeded her goal when Lincoln was elected President.
Tragedy stalked her as she lost three of her four children and saw her husband assassinated in front of her eyes. Her world fell apart as did her mental health. She had hoped to be honored as the wife of the sainted President but she became only a sidebar to his history. She deteriorated to the point that her only surviving child, Robert, had her committed to a mental institution where she stayed for a year. The author does a good job explaining why this was probably not necessary but we have to remember that this was a time when that was not an uncommon practice. After her release, she roamed from place to place and was forgotten by the public.
This review barely touches upon some of the interesting and disturbing facts about Mrs. Lincoln and this history is well worth reading. I would recommend it.
Mary Todd was from a upper-class southern family with political connections and was well educated for a woman of her times. She had many male admirers but she saw something special in Abraham Lincoln, a poor and uneducated man and married him against the wishes of her family. She was determined to assist her husband to greater things and channeled her ambitions into his political career. She made some enemies along the way but, as we know, she exceeded her goal when Lincoln was elected President.
Tragedy stalked her as she lost three of her four children and saw her husband assassinated in front of her eyes. Her world fell apart as did her mental health. She had hoped to be honored as the wife of the sainted President but she became only a sidebar to his history. She deteriorated to the point that her only surviving child, Robert, had her committed to a mental institution where she stayed for a year. The author does a good job explaining why this was probably not necessary but we have to remember that this was a time when that was not an uncommon practice. After her release, she roamed from place to place and was forgotten by the public.
This review barely touches upon some of the interesting and disturbing facts about Mrs. Lincoln and this history is well worth reading. I would recommend it.
January 1, 2020
This is a great narrative on the life of Mary Lincoln. It is the first biography of her that I have read. Clinton exhaustively researched this book and has given the reader a fair and balanced account of the most controversial first lady in American history. Mary Todd was a woman given to great emotion and great expectations. Upon her marriage to Abraham Lincoln, she found her circumstances to be considerably reduced from what she had experienced growing up in a well-to-do Southern family. She also endured the loneliness that comes when a husband spends a great deal of time away from home to earn a living. Eventually, she was able to return to the comfort she had known as a child. There have been allegations that Mary was not the love of her husband's life but that another woman, who died unexpectedly had been. Upon her arrival in Washington, she was greeted as a country bumpkin, who, with her husband, had cajoled their way into the presidency. She endured the tragic deaths of three of her four beloved sons and her behavior seemed to become more erratic with each loss. She was pilloried by the press and snubbed by many who did not consider her to be their social equal. Her spending gave the papers much to complain about. It was excessive and erratic and only fueled the fires of people who simply did not accept her. In many respect, she was the victim of her own success. The more well-known she became, the less she seemed to be liked. At her husband's death, her behavior was once again criticized and she was put out of the room in which her husband was dying. Her behavior at times seems exaggerated and dare I say it, crazy. After being widowed, she roamed incessantly, worrying about money and looking for a place where she would be appreciated. Her behavior led to her sole remaining child, Robert, having her institutionalized and all her rights revoked. Even though the asylum where she was kept was, in Clintons words, more like a resort, she resented her incarceration and pushed until she was able to get out, never really forgiving her son.
Her life had more than its share of tragedy, although the loss of children at that time was a fairly common experience. Suffice to say that this highly intelligent and compassionate woman was unable to retain the dignity that her position demanded and she paid the price for it. In reading the book, she never seemed to experience happiness in her life because there was always something that disturbed her- from her jealousy of other women, to her constant concern about money. I highly recommend this book which presents the facts and analyzes but does not attempt to dictate the readers feelings.
Her life had more than its share of tragedy, although the loss of children at that time was a fairly common experience. Suffice to say that this highly intelligent and compassionate woman was unable to retain the dignity that her position demanded and she paid the price for it. In reading the book, she never seemed to experience happiness in her life because there was always something that disturbed her- from her jealousy of other women, to her constant concern about money. I highly recommend this book which presents the facts and analyzes but does not attempt to dictate the readers feelings.
January 5, 2023
Writing about Mary Lincoln is typically a black-and-white, either/or endeavor - she’s either to be condemned, or pitied; to be considered crazy and corrupt, or just misunderstood. There’s not a whole lot of middle ground.
Catherine Clinton tries to take the middle ground here. It proves to be kind of a mushy middle, though, in which she avoids condemning or condoning, as she acknowledges the critiques and the defense of Mary Lincoln but largely sidesteps any attempt to offer her own educated conclusions. What results is a biography that's more sympathetic than most in making you feel sorry for its subject, while also feeling like you’re not really getting the full story.
At its best, the book offers alternate explanations behind some of Mary's troubling behavior that rubs other biographers like Michael Burlingame, particularly in his well-researched-but-unpleasant An American Marriage: The Untold Story of Abraham Lincoln and Mary Todd, the wrong way. She was hard on husband Abraham in an effort to snap him out of his absentmindedness and carelessness, Clinton suggests. She was a “martinet” at home because she had to be in order to raise three rambunctious boys. She was demanding of Abraham’s time and attention while he was otherwise occupied in the White House because she was looking out for him and didn’t want him to overwork himself. And she had an intense dislike of the popular and beautiful Kate Chase not necessarily out of jealousy, but because Kate was too focused on tearing Mary down in order to help further her own father’s political career.
In these cases, Clinton at least tries to consider the evidence and offer an alternative view. That said, not all of the alternate explanations are convincing - are we to believe that Mary threw a cup of hot coffee at Abraham, or hit him in the head with a piece of firewood, because he was absentminded or overworked? Or are these stories merely apocryphal? Clinton seems inclined to dismiss them - because, tellingly, she doesn’t even mention them.
And that leads us to where the book is at its more-frequent worst, when Clinton merely dismisses criticism, or leaves out crucial details, without fully arguing or supporting her case. She mentions that the imperious and demanding Mary had trouble keeping servants at her Springfield home, but doesn’t explore why (maybe because she was so imperious and demanding?) She touches on the Lincolns’ domestic disagreements but flatly refutes, without elaboration, some scholars' contention that "Lincoln avoided coming home to evade his wife's company. Jumping to such conclusions is both unwise and unwarranted." If that’s so, then why? Clinton doesn’t say, she just moves on.
Other times, if a story would reflect poorly on Mary, the details are left vague. After abandoning an attempt to live with newly-elected Congressman Lincoln in Washington, where Mary clashed with fellow boarding house residents, Clinton wonders whether Mary’s departure "was a mutual decision or Mrs. Lincoln left in a fit - of anger? in despair? with resignation?” It “remains a mystery," she declares - and moves on. Later, when Mary was criticized, including by some of her own friends, for wearing a cheery lilac ensemble to a funeral, Clinton stiffly writes of "a Victorian fashion of wearing purple in mourning" and says Mary simply "wore a dress in a shade of purple" and thus the "alleged" criticism was unwarranted. While lilac is indeed "a shade of purple," it's not exactly the deep purple that comes to mind when considering the "Victorian fashion of wearing purple in mourning," so Clinton’s prim explanation and dismissal of the “alleged” criticism manages to elide some pertinent details. In these cases, she’s as guilty of cherry-picking facts and comments as Mary’s critics are, but she does so in a way that’s more favorable to Mary.
That’s not to say that this book is without merit. Scholars differ about just how much influence Mary exerted on Abraham’s rise to political prominence, but Clinton portrays a Mary who appreciated her husband’s potential and stoked his ambition - if not for the possibilities she saw in him, why would she have married him at all, instead of someone who was more conventionally on a path to success? "Mary's greatness was to be among the first to see beyond the rough patches and ragged edges of the Springfield lawyer with whom she fell in love," Clinton writes.
Later, she considers all the hardships Mary had to endure - her difficult-albeit-pampered upbringing; her rude awakening as she had to learn to run her own modest household with minimal assistance; her need to entertain, keep up appearances, and support her President husband in gossipy and backstabby Washington; the terrible losses she endured after her husband and three out of four sons all died young; and her struggle to make ends meet as a widow, when the country, her husband’s political allies, and even much of her own family had cast her aside.
These hardships could make anyone crazy. But was she? Curiously, Clinton doesn’t really consider the possibility. She first raises the prospect that Mary might have suffered from some form of mental illness, when describing the Lincolns’ infamous visit to the front late in the war, when Mary had terrible public temper tantrums - though she mentions it only by attributing it to some of Mary’s contemporaries. For even the most sympathetic Mary Lincoln biographer, it’s impossible to avoid acknowledging that Mary’s behavior during this trip was abhorrent, but Clinton tries blaming the stress of the moment, of the war, of concern for her husband and her son Robert, instead of considering whether there might have been more deep-rooted causes.
In most Lincoln biographies, Mary’s story ends with Abraham’s death, so it’s refreshing in this case to see Mary’s story continue. And Clinton handles Mary’s institutionalization remarkably even-handedly - she considers the situation from both Mary’s and Robert’s points of view, without ever villainizing Robert or accusing him of treating her unfairly.
Overall, Clinton manages to humanize Mary more than those who portray her as a one-dimensional hellion - maybe she still deserves a little bit of sympathy, even if she was as terrible as her worst critics say? Unfortunately, though, Clinton simply leaves out too much, and relies on the “scholars differ” cop-out to explain away the details of some of Mary’s most troublesome behavior. This is a decent book to read alongside a Abraham Lincoln biography whose author is more critical of his wife, if you want to consider an alternate point of view. But there’s not enough heft here to make this the only biography of Mary you should read. This is just one side of the black-and-white, either/or story - and you really need to consider both sides if you want to get the full picture
Catherine Clinton tries to take the middle ground here. It proves to be kind of a mushy middle, though, in which she avoids condemning or condoning, as she acknowledges the critiques and the defense of Mary Lincoln but largely sidesteps any attempt to offer her own educated conclusions. What results is a biography that's more sympathetic than most in making you feel sorry for its subject, while also feeling like you’re not really getting the full story.
At its best, the book offers alternate explanations behind some of Mary's troubling behavior that rubs other biographers like Michael Burlingame, particularly in his well-researched-but-unpleasant An American Marriage: The Untold Story of Abraham Lincoln and Mary Todd, the wrong way. She was hard on husband Abraham in an effort to snap him out of his absentmindedness and carelessness, Clinton suggests. She was a “martinet” at home because she had to be in order to raise three rambunctious boys. She was demanding of Abraham’s time and attention while he was otherwise occupied in the White House because she was looking out for him and didn’t want him to overwork himself. And she had an intense dislike of the popular and beautiful Kate Chase not necessarily out of jealousy, but because Kate was too focused on tearing Mary down in order to help further her own father’s political career.
In these cases, Clinton at least tries to consider the evidence and offer an alternative view. That said, not all of the alternate explanations are convincing - are we to believe that Mary threw a cup of hot coffee at Abraham, or hit him in the head with a piece of firewood, because he was absentminded or overworked? Or are these stories merely apocryphal? Clinton seems inclined to dismiss them - because, tellingly, she doesn’t even mention them.
And that leads us to where the book is at its more-frequent worst, when Clinton merely dismisses criticism, or leaves out crucial details, without fully arguing or supporting her case. She mentions that the imperious and demanding Mary had trouble keeping servants at her Springfield home, but doesn’t explore why (maybe because she was so imperious and demanding?) She touches on the Lincolns’ domestic disagreements but flatly refutes, without elaboration, some scholars' contention that "Lincoln avoided coming home to evade his wife's company. Jumping to such conclusions is both unwise and unwarranted." If that’s so, then why? Clinton doesn’t say, she just moves on.
Other times, if a story would reflect poorly on Mary, the details are left vague. After abandoning an attempt to live with newly-elected Congressman Lincoln in Washington, where Mary clashed with fellow boarding house residents, Clinton wonders whether Mary’s departure "was a mutual decision or Mrs. Lincoln left in a fit - of anger? in despair? with resignation?” It “remains a mystery," she declares - and moves on. Later, when Mary was criticized, including by some of her own friends, for wearing a cheery lilac ensemble to a funeral, Clinton stiffly writes of "a Victorian fashion of wearing purple in mourning" and says Mary simply "wore a dress in a shade of purple" and thus the "alleged" criticism was unwarranted. While lilac is indeed "a shade of purple," it's not exactly the deep purple that comes to mind when considering the "Victorian fashion of wearing purple in mourning," so Clinton’s prim explanation and dismissal of the “alleged” criticism manages to elide some pertinent details. In these cases, she’s as guilty of cherry-picking facts and comments as Mary’s critics are, but she does so in a way that’s more favorable to Mary.
That’s not to say that this book is without merit. Scholars differ about just how much influence Mary exerted on Abraham’s rise to political prominence, but Clinton portrays a Mary who appreciated her husband’s potential and stoked his ambition - if not for the possibilities she saw in him, why would she have married him at all, instead of someone who was more conventionally on a path to success? "Mary's greatness was to be among the first to see beyond the rough patches and ragged edges of the Springfield lawyer with whom she fell in love," Clinton writes.
Later, she considers all the hardships Mary had to endure - her difficult-albeit-pampered upbringing; her rude awakening as she had to learn to run her own modest household with minimal assistance; her need to entertain, keep up appearances, and support her President husband in gossipy and backstabby Washington; the terrible losses she endured after her husband and three out of four sons all died young; and her struggle to make ends meet as a widow, when the country, her husband’s political allies, and even much of her own family had cast her aside.
These hardships could make anyone crazy. But was she? Curiously, Clinton doesn’t really consider the possibility. She first raises the prospect that Mary might have suffered from some form of mental illness, when describing the Lincolns’ infamous visit to the front late in the war, when Mary had terrible public temper tantrums - though she mentions it only by attributing it to some of Mary’s contemporaries. For even the most sympathetic Mary Lincoln biographer, it’s impossible to avoid acknowledging that Mary’s behavior during this trip was abhorrent, but Clinton tries blaming the stress of the moment, of the war, of concern for her husband and her son Robert, instead of considering whether there might have been more deep-rooted causes.
In most Lincoln biographies, Mary’s story ends with Abraham’s death, so it’s refreshing in this case to see Mary’s story continue. And Clinton handles Mary’s institutionalization remarkably even-handedly - she considers the situation from both Mary’s and Robert’s points of view, without ever villainizing Robert or accusing him of treating her unfairly.
Overall, Clinton manages to humanize Mary more than those who portray her as a one-dimensional hellion - maybe she still deserves a little bit of sympathy, even if she was as terrible as her worst critics say? Unfortunately, though, Clinton simply leaves out too much, and relies on the “scholars differ” cop-out to explain away the details of some of Mary’s most troublesome behavior. This is a decent book to read alongside a Abraham Lincoln biography whose author is more critical of his wife, if you want to consider an alternate point of view. But there’s not enough heft here to make this the only biography of Mary you should read. This is just one side of the black-and-white, either/or story - and you really need to consider both sides if you want to get the full picture
May 23, 2012
I bought this book at the Lincoln museum in Springfield Ill. during my "summer of Lincoln" in 2010. I became obsessed with Lincoln. The museum is fantastic. You walk though exhibits in chronological order of Lincoln's life so by the time I got to his assassination I was in tears. I couldn't believe it - crying over a museum exhibit when I already knew he was assassinated! That's how good the museum is.
There were several books about Mary Lincoln to choose from in the museum book store. This one seemed to be recommended by the museum. I found it fascinating. What an interesting and tragic life she had! The author I thought was factual and left the reader to draw conclusions on their own - was she really crazy or was her life just so tragic that she acted erratic? I'm not sure anybody wouldn't be a little screwed up after living her life!
There were several books about Mary Lincoln to choose from in the museum book store. This one seemed to be recommended by the museum. I found it fascinating. What an interesting and tragic life she had! The author I thought was factual and left the reader to draw conclusions on their own - was she really crazy or was her life just so tragic that she acted erratic? I'm not sure anybody wouldn't be a little screwed up after living her life!
February 21, 2012
I'd always been interested in Mary Todd Lincoln but had never taken the time to read any biographies about her. Just so happened, Catherine Clinton's version showed up in my book club choices. I'm glad this version is now on my bookshelf, and it's a keeper.
Clinton covered the good, the bad and the ugly of the woman who was basically the first, First Lady due to how she ran the White House and was deeply involved in her husband's affairs. My overall thoughts on Mary's life,tragic.
You're compelled to feel sympathy for the woman even through her outbursts of madness, which was never really proven that she was insane, or simply the victim of severe grief, alcohol and the medications of the times. Mary lost three sons, a husband to a horrific assassination right in front of her eyes,survived The Civil War,among the hardships of her adult life. Yes, she was definitely a forceful, often belligerent, woman,but she was also very intelligent.If she hadn't been those things, Lincoln may never have been president. She was the driving force behind the man.
Clinton doesn't sugar coat any of the facts and brings a humanity to the woman who has always been seen in a completely negative light. This version of Mrs. Lincoln's life allows the reader to understand the complex woman and gain a glimpse into her world.
Clinton covered the good, the bad and the ugly of the woman who was basically the first, First Lady due to how she ran the White House and was deeply involved in her husband's affairs. My overall thoughts on Mary's life,tragic.
You're compelled to feel sympathy for the woman even through her outbursts of madness, which was never really proven that she was insane, or simply the victim of severe grief, alcohol and the medications of the times. Mary lost three sons, a husband to a horrific assassination right in front of her eyes,survived The Civil War,among the hardships of her adult life. Yes, she was definitely a forceful, often belligerent, woman,but she was also very intelligent.If she hadn't been those things, Lincoln may never have been president. She was the driving force behind the man.
Clinton doesn't sugar coat any of the facts and brings a humanity to the woman who has always been seen in a completely negative light. This version of Mrs. Lincoln's life allows the reader to understand the complex woman and gain a glimpse into her world.
May 28, 2009
I did learn a great deal from this book, but overall the writing is less then compelling. The author constantly explains and excuses Mary Lincoln's every action, so much so that the tone comes off as preemptively defensive. After a while I got the impression the author was so biased in her favor that I was getting a skewed perspective on Mary Lincoln. I understand the author did this to combat all the other, more negative biographies out there, but having never read any of those I felt like I was caught in the middle of an argument between two authors - only without hearing the opposing side's case.
Still, this book details a fascinating history, and certainly gave me a much greater appreciation for both of the Lincolns and what they faced during the Civil War. I would recommend it to fellow history buffs looking for more and varied angles on Lincoln himself, since Mary was such a major part of his life.
Still, this book details a fascinating history, and certainly gave me a much greater appreciation for both of the Lincolns and what they faced during the Civil War. I would recommend it to fellow history buffs looking for more and varied angles on Lincoln himself, since Mary was such a major part of his life.
September 22, 2017
Ahhhh I want a Mary Todd Lincoln movie! It's one of white whales of Bette Davis' career--one of those movies she always wanted to make (along with Ethan Frome)--and she would have been perfect but perhaps Sally Fields can reprise her role. I think now more than ever this movie should be made, especially when I got to the part of this book saying how Mary Todd was the most hated first lady, followed closely by Hillary Clinton and Eleanor Roosevelt. There are obvious parallels between what all 3 women faced--blatant sexism, a hostile press, and public willing to lap up any bit of dirt, no matter the providence.
I actually found myself getting hot with indignation in reading this book. Talk about impossible standards that no human being could ever hope to meet. Lies, rumors, and falsehood. If I had a time machine, I'd make a stop back to like 1870 just to hug Mrs. Lincoln.
When Lincoln died in that boarding house, none of the Team of Rivals by his bedside thought to summon his wife, who remarked "Oh, why did you not tell me he was dying?" and the author points out "How could Mary Lincoln have been so cruelly treated at such a time? The trauma of her husband's murder while they sat together, her gown splashed with his blood, was terrible enough. But the way in which she was shoved aside at this critical moment compounded her trauma, deepened and widened her grief, foretelling indignities to come. Her subsequent maltreatment--both real and imagined--contributed to her steady decline." Her whole life was basically being shoved aside.
As the first lady everyone has no problem smearing--oh she was crazy, a spendthrift, poor poor Lincoln for having to deal with his crazy Southern wife, her suspected ties with Confederate family members and treason--reading this book was a revelation. For starters, she was born into a large semi-wealthy and influential family, never really knew her mother, who died when she was six, and was raised by slaves (and the love for those that raised her is what helped make her an abolitionist) or sent off to like half-relatives. She was packed off for school where she blossomed, so unlike Abe she had lots of formal education, fluent in French and bookish to the extent her family despaired she would ever marry. The shared love of books is one of the things that brought her and Lincoln together (and the French served her well when she, like Jackie O., took refuge in Europe post assassination) and it was a big step down for her marrying impoverished Lincoln--it was her political connections--closely tied with Henry Clay--that helped propel him with her encouragement.
The author takes the stance that Mary was more or as committed to emancipation as Lincoln--her best friend was a black woman, and when she found her black guests were forced to go through the servants entrance, she insisted that from then on front door only (which made me think of the hullabaloo of Teddy Roosevelt dining with Booker Washington and how that was a one time only event after the outcry). Mary didn't care about that though and after so many in her family (her brothers, half brothers, sisters, half sisters all were gungo-ho for Confederacy) she lost most of her old ties. All this did was make her hated on both sides: "Mary felt herself 'the scapegoat for both the North and the South'"
As for her being a burden to Lincoln, I had no idea how many times he contemplated suicide and all his black moods where the only person who could get him to eat was his wife. As for her craziness and migraines, she took the place of Lincoln when a would-be assassin rigged the carriage to smash apart, which left her with a major head injury, and a lifetime of migraines and pain, which triggered all the stories we currently hear about her. WHY IS THIS NOT MORE COMMONLY KNOWN?! Lincoln felt super guilty that his wife took a blow meant for him, but besides her husband virtually no one had any sympathy for her. "He was aware of the sacrifices his wife had made to marry him, and even more, of what she had to put up with in more than two decades together. He knew she had been his champion, perhaps at one time the only person who ever believed in him. Again and again, she brought him back from the brink during countless episodes of gloom and self-doubt."
She was treated like garbage as First Lady, and after the assassination even worse. Johnson never once gave condolences and "After Mary was quite literally taken from the room where he lay dying, Lincoln's male circle--rivals for his attention--began to exclude her. Indeed this cold shoulder caused great bitterness. While she felt she should have been given support and help, many withheld kindness, and some ignored minimal courtesy." One person who did show sympathy was Queen Victoria who wrote her a letter:
April 29, 1865
Dear Madam,
Though a Stranger to you I cannot remain silent when so terrible a calamity has fallen upon you & your Country & must personally express my deep & heartfelt sympathy with you under the shocking circumstances of your present dreadful misfortune —
No one can better appreciate than I can, who am myself utterly broken-hearted by the loss of my own beloved Husband, who was the Light of my Life, — my Stay — my all, — what your sufferings must be; and I earnestly pray that you may be supported by Him to whom Alone the sorely stricken can look for comfort, in this hour of heavy affliction.
With the renewed Expression of true sympathy, I remain,
dear Madam,
Your Sincere friend
Victoria Rg
The medicine she was given for the migraines after the attack on the carriage had a side effect of hallucinations and yes, she had some obsessive compulsion about money. Reading this book makes sense though. She was disparaged widely for spending during Lincoln's administration, but *crickets* when Johnson was given way more money than she ever asked for upkeep (the usual White House in shambles, like all the plates broken, no carpet, etc.--what she wanted was just normal upkeep for appearance sake) and she took it to a somewhat manic level, since there was no pensions then. She had two sons die young (6 and 12) and her beloved child Tad, who was like her rock, died at 18. Which left old lizard Robert Lincoln, who is impossible to not view as villain in the vein of like Christina Crawford (wound up being the lawyer for Pullman and helped cover up the Pullman Strike of 1894, which thanks to those who died and were wounded in that, we now celebrate Labor Day).
With all the good people in her life dead, and all the shitty ones alive, her son engineered her basic kidnapping to an Insane Asylum. Was she crazy? Reading this book no--lot of her problems I think came from side effects of medication and virtually no support--which by the way, chloral hydrate, the drug which she was prescribed for the head wound and insomnia, I had no idea was responsible for so many famous deaths (Marilyn Monroe, Rossetti, Hank Williams, Anna Nicole Smith, Jonestown punch)--but "It is evident that Mrs. Lincoln was able to write rational and convincing letters while incarcerated, letters pleading that she had been wrongly committed and deserved rescue"--within a year at the asylum, her hair went stark white.
She eventually managed to get herself declared sane, writing to her son that she thought he was the "monster of mankind" and having "her child turn on her after what she must have felt was a life of sacrifices on behalf of her family must have done Mary irreparable damage"--and so, off to France, when she moved to Pau, not far from the Spanish border. There she lived quietly until 1881 when bad health brought her back to U.S. Almost skeletal from loss of weight, packing and unpacking her trunks, barely leaving her bedroom, she died a year later, happy to be back "next to the man whose love never wavered, to be with him where the wicked would cease from troubling and she, so very weary, might be at rest."
Her awful son got her estate of $80,000 and it's interesting to read that the last of the Lincolns died in 1985. His drunken law partner that he split with spread the rumor that Lincoln's true love was Ann Rutledge (causing untold pain to Mary) and Robert destroyed most of his mother's personal papers after her death so...at the end "Her unconditional love sustained Lincoln's growth to greatness. She was a woman of intense intellect and passion who stepped outside the boundaries her time prescribed, and suffered for it. She was someone who endured more personal loss and public humiliation than any other woman of her generation. Despite all that she endured."
Thanks for persisting Mary.
I actually found myself getting hot with indignation in reading this book. Talk about impossible standards that no human being could ever hope to meet. Lies, rumors, and falsehood. If I had a time machine, I'd make a stop back to like 1870 just to hug Mrs. Lincoln.
When Lincoln died in that boarding house, none of the Team of Rivals by his bedside thought to summon his wife, who remarked "Oh, why did you not tell me he was dying?" and the author points out "How could Mary Lincoln have been so cruelly treated at such a time? The trauma of her husband's murder while they sat together, her gown splashed with his blood, was terrible enough. But the way in which she was shoved aside at this critical moment compounded her trauma, deepened and widened her grief, foretelling indignities to come. Her subsequent maltreatment--both real and imagined--contributed to her steady decline." Her whole life was basically being shoved aside.
As the first lady everyone has no problem smearing--oh she was crazy, a spendthrift, poor poor Lincoln for having to deal with his crazy Southern wife, her suspected ties with Confederate family members and treason--reading this book was a revelation. For starters, she was born into a large semi-wealthy and influential family, never really knew her mother, who died when she was six, and was raised by slaves (and the love for those that raised her is what helped make her an abolitionist) or sent off to like half-relatives. She was packed off for school where she blossomed, so unlike Abe she had lots of formal education, fluent in French and bookish to the extent her family despaired she would ever marry. The shared love of books is one of the things that brought her and Lincoln together (and the French served her well when she, like Jackie O., took refuge in Europe post assassination) and it was a big step down for her marrying impoverished Lincoln--it was her political connections--closely tied with Henry Clay--that helped propel him with her encouragement.
The author takes the stance that Mary was more or as committed to emancipation as Lincoln--her best friend was a black woman, and when she found her black guests were forced to go through the servants entrance, she insisted that from then on front door only (which made me think of the hullabaloo of Teddy Roosevelt dining with Booker Washington and how that was a one time only event after the outcry). Mary didn't care about that though and after so many in her family (her brothers, half brothers, sisters, half sisters all were gungo-ho for Confederacy) she lost most of her old ties. All this did was make her hated on both sides: "Mary felt herself 'the scapegoat for both the North and the South'"
As for her being a burden to Lincoln, I had no idea how many times he contemplated suicide and all his black moods where the only person who could get him to eat was his wife. As for her craziness and migraines, she took the place of Lincoln when a would-be assassin rigged the carriage to smash apart, which left her with a major head injury, and a lifetime of migraines and pain, which triggered all the stories we currently hear about her. WHY IS THIS NOT MORE COMMONLY KNOWN?! Lincoln felt super guilty that his wife took a blow meant for him, but besides her husband virtually no one had any sympathy for her. "He was aware of the sacrifices his wife had made to marry him, and even more, of what she had to put up with in more than two decades together. He knew she had been his champion, perhaps at one time the only person who ever believed in him. Again and again, she brought him back from the brink during countless episodes of gloom and self-doubt."
She was treated like garbage as First Lady, and after the assassination even worse. Johnson never once gave condolences and "After Mary was quite literally taken from the room where he lay dying, Lincoln's male circle--rivals for his attention--began to exclude her. Indeed this cold shoulder caused great bitterness. While she felt she should have been given support and help, many withheld kindness, and some ignored minimal courtesy." One person who did show sympathy was Queen Victoria who wrote her a letter:
April 29, 1865
Dear Madam,
Though a Stranger to you I cannot remain silent when so terrible a calamity has fallen upon you & your Country & must personally express my deep & heartfelt sympathy with you under the shocking circumstances of your present dreadful misfortune —
No one can better appreciate than I can, who am myself utterly broken-hearted by the loss of my own beloved Husband, who was the Light of my Life, — my Stay — my all, — what your sufferings must be; and I earnestly pray that you may be supported by Him to whom Alone the sorely stricken can look for comfort, in this hour of heavy affliction.
With the renewed Expression of true sympathy, I remain,
dear Madam,
Your Sincere friend
Victoria Rg
The medicine she was given for the migraines after the attack on the carriage had a side effect of hallucinations and yes, she had some obsessive compulsion about money. Reading this book makes sense though. She was disparaged widely for spending during Lincoln's administration, but *crickets* when Johnson was given way more money than she ever asked for upkeep (the usual White House in shambles, like all the plates broken, no carpet, etc.--what she wanted was just normal upkeep for appearance sake) and she took it to a somewhat manic level, since there was no pensions then. She had two sons die young (6 and 12) and her beloved child Tad, who was like her rock, died at 18. Which left old lizard Robert Lincoln, who is impossible to not view as villain in the vein of like Christina Crawford (wound up being the lawyer for Pullman and helped cover up the Pullman Strike of 1894, which thanks to those who died and were wounded in that, we now celebrate Labor Day).
With all the good people in her life dead, and all the shitty ones alive, her son engineered her basic kidnapping to an Insane Asylum. Was she crazy? Reading this book no--lot of her problems I think came from side effects of medication and virtually no support--which by the way, chloral hydrate, the drug which she was prescribed for the head wound and insomnia, I had no idea was responsible for so many famous deaths (Marilyn Monroe, Rossetti, Hank Williams, Anna Nicole Smith, Jonestown punch)--but "It is evident that Mrs. Lincoln was able to write rational and convincing letters while incarcerated, letters pleading that she had been wrongly committed and deserved rescue"--within a year at the asylum, her hair went stark white.
She eventually managed to get herself declared sane, writing to her son that she thought he was the "monster of mankind" and having "her child turn on her after what she must have felt was a life of sacrifices on behalf of her family must have done Mary irreparable damage"--and so, off to France, when she moved to Pau, not far from the Spanish border. There she lived quietly until 1881 when bad health brought her back to U.S. Almost skeletal from loss of weight, packing and unpacking her trunks, barely leaving her bedroom, she died a year later, happy to be back "next to the man whose love never wavered, to be with him where the wicked would cease from troubling and she, so very weary, might be at rest."
Her awful son got her estate of $80,000 and it's interesting to read that the last of the Lincolns died in 1985. His drunken law partner that he split with spread the rumor that Lincoln's true love was Ann Rutledge (causing untold pain to Mary) and Robert destroyed most of his mother's personal papers after her death so...at the end "Her unconditional love sustained Lincoln's growth to greatness. She was a woman of intense intellect and passion who stepped outside the boundaries her time prescribed, and suffered for it. She was someone who endured more personal loss and public humiliation than any other woman of her generation. Despite all that she endured."
Thanks for persisting Mary.
November 7, 2025
3.5 stars
This was a lengthy book, but worth the read.
I’ve read many books about the Lincolns, and I like that I can learn new facts from each one. The black and white photographs scattered throughout really add to the writing; several of them I had not previously seen. The one of Tad at 18 was particularly moving…
This was a lengthy book, but worth the read.
I’ve read many books about the Lincolns, and I like that I can learn new facts from each one. The black and white photographs scattered throughout really add to the writing; several of them I had not previously seen. The one of Tad at 18 was particularly moving…
Read
November 30, 2022 I didn't finish it.
Let me tell you, I put way too much effort into trying to like and finish this book. I should have called it quits a whole lot sooner.
I just did not enjoy the portrayal of either Lincoln's wife or Lincoln himself. Historically accurate or not, it was not fun for me to read. Now, I do think the author was fair in her portrayal for the most part, evaluating facts to see just how true a claim might be, etc. And there is no doubt that she went to a lot of research for this book. But tone, writing style, whatever you want to call it, matters, and I didn't like this.
I did learn a lot of interesting facts about the Lincolns, I had no idea two of their sons died, one while they were in the White House. Or that Mrs. Lincoln was quite unfairly attacked by the press at every turn. Or that Lincoln was so untidy and regularly missed meals!
Ultimately, I had to fight too hard against all the negatives, one of which was the tipping point. I should've quit when I thought about it instead of trying to soldier on for the sake of soldiering on.
Now, a note for my fellow Christians: Christianity is not portrayed in a favorable light. And while I understand that the Lincolns' beliefs were not Christian in the true sense, and that the author was (probably) trying to distance herself from any comment on religion, that turned me off. It also made me sorrowful, I truly believe that if Mary had held a true, personal Christian belief, she might not have had so tragic of a life in the end.
This compounded when it came out that Mary was involved in the spirit world. *rubs forehead* I should've stopped right there. Like, involved in a way that is truly anti-Christian. It is factual, historically, but that doesn't mean I want to or need to be reading about it. And that was it, that was the tipping point.
So, if you want a historically accurate biography on the life of Mrs. Lincoln, and don't particularly care if that means reading about spiritualism, this might it for you. But for me, it was too much. I ended up throwing away my copy in the trash, I didn't even want any of that in my house.
Let me tell you, I put way too much effort into trying to like and finish this book. I should have called it quits a whole lot sooner.
I just did not enjoy the portrayal of either Lincoln's wife or Lincoln himself. Historically accurate or not, it was not fun for me to read. Now, I do think the author was fair in her portrayal for the most part, evaluating facts to see just how true a claim might be, etc. And there is no doubt that she went to a lot of research for this book. But tone, writing style, whatever you want to call it, matters, and I didn't like this.
I did learn a lot of interesting facts about the Lincolns, I had no idea two of their sons died, one while they were in the White House. Or that Mrs. Lincoln was quite unfairly attacked by the press at every turn. Or that Lincoln was so untidy and regularly missed meals!
Ultimately, I had to fight too hard against all the negatives, one of which was the tipping point. I should've quit when I thought about it instead of trying to soldier on for the sake of soldiering on.
Now, a note for my fellow Christians: Christianity is not portrayed in a favorable light. And while I understand that the Lincolns' beliefs were not Christian in the true sense, and that the author was (probably) trying to distance herself from any comment on religion, that turned me off. It also made me sorrowful, I truly believe that if Mary had held a true, personal Christian belief, she might not have had so tragic of a life in the end.
This compounded when it came out that Mary was involved in the spirit world. *rubs forehead* I should've stopped right there. Like, involved in a way that is truly anti-Christian. It is factual, historically, but that doesn't mean I want to or need to be reading about it. And that was it, that was the tipping point.
So, if you want a historically accurate biography on the life of Mrs. Lincoln, and don't particularly care if that means reading about spiritualism, this might it for you. But for me, it was too much. I ended up throwing away my copy in the trash, I didn't even want any of that in my house.
February 13, 2022
Sympathetic biography that rebuts attacks on Mary Todd Lincoln that happened during her lifetime and continue to this day. She wasn't perfect, but Victorian society didn't make it easy on any woman, much less the wife of an ambitious politician and lawyer. And then when your husband is brutally assassinated and becomes a martyr and ultimately a saint, how do you cope?
October 14, 2013
This biography is not as much concerned with the day-to-day life of Mary Lincoln Todd as with her infamous spending habits, meltdowns and quarrels. When deciding how to best frame the comments and criticisms of her contemporaries, Clinton reminds us frequently just how much tragedy this educated and high strung woman endured. No Presidential spouse has had the bile and scandal heaped onto her in such quantities as Mary Todd Lincoln. Not even Hillary Clinton or Eleanor Roosevelt were attacked with so much venom. She did, indeed, spiral into paranoia after her husband was assassinated and probably needed therapy which wasn't available at that time. Who, in her shoes, wouldn't? She lost 3 of her 4 children and, worst of all, her beloved husband who was shot in front of her. She was deliberately kept from his side as he died. She was denied a pension for many years after his death. The author rests her view of Mrs. Lincoln on a wide foundation of research. Her notes are so meticulous as to be overwhelming. She clearly wants to give Mrs. Lincoln a fair hearing, bending over backwards to supply more than one interpretation of Mary's actions.
Yet even she is compelled to acknowledge Mary's poor judgements, disastrous decisions and inconsistent behavior. Mary was, evidently, truly her own worst enemy, making enemies where she needed friends, trusting advisors who cared nothing for her needs but wanted to benefit from her financially, creating scenes in public that reflected badly on her family.
Catherine Clinton did a service to Mary Lincoln by enlisting our empathy for her very sad life even as we agree that she was one of the worst First Ladies to live in the White House.
Yet even she is compelled to acknowledge Mary's poor judgements, disastrous decisions and inconsistent behavior. Mary was, evidently, truly her own worst enemy, making enemies where she needed friends, trusting advisors who cared nothing for her needs but wanted to benefit from her financially, creating scenes in public that reflected badly on her family.
Catherine Clinton did a service to Mary Lincoln by enlisting our empathy for her very sad life even as we agree that she was one of the worst First Ladies to live in the White House.
July 6, 2013
I am so darn glad I read this book and I have the Abraham Lincoln Bookstore in Chicago to thank for telling me about it. My husband and I went to this wonderful store where they know EVERYTHING about A. Lincoln. I was speaking with a man there and remarked how much compassion I had for Mary Lincoln and wished there was a book with a view that expressed some compassion for all she went through. He said, Oh you will have to read the Catherine Clinton and found a copy there. It was a First Edition. Signed. And the cost? Over 300 dollars. I blanched and mumbled something. He whispered to me, you can still buy reprints on Amazon. I put it on my wish list and Shelby got it for me for Christmas. I read and savored it. The author describes the journalistic witch hunt against her, way worse than anything other targets have experienced. (She references Eleanor Roosevelt and Hillary Clinton as other First Ladies who were targeted by the Press.)
She wrote a very insightful book beginning with her childhood and ending after her death. She cites the problems between her and Lincoln's law partner whose tales smeared Mary for all time. She told of her strengths, her demons and the many sad events in her life.
She writes well, clearly and compassionately. She cares for Mrs. Lincoln even as she lays at her feet some of her troubles. As she stated in the book, "She was a woman of intense intellect and passion who stepped outside the boundaries her times prescribed, and suffered for it."
I learned a tremendous amount and recommend this book highly.
She wrote a very insightful book beginning with her childhood and ending after her death. She cites the problems between her and Lincoln's law partner whose tales smeared Mary for all time. She told of her strengths, her demons and the many sad events in her life.
She writes well, clearly and compassionately. She cares for Mrs. Lincoln even as she lays at her feet some of her troubles. As she stated in the book, "She was a woman of intense intellect and passion who stepped outside the boundaries her times prescribed, and suffered for it."
I learned a tremendous amount and recommend this book highly.
Read
April 17, 2024Balanced, fair look at Mary's sad and troubled life
September 15, 2012
It is what the title suggests - the life of Mary Todd Lincoln. I went to Springfield and went to everything there was to see on President Lincoln and Mary and there is a lot. Between the museums, the free printed material given out, other books I've read and what I learned in school, I'm not sure I needed to read another book about Abe but was curious as to whether there was some additional information on Mary. I talked to numerous people and read reviews and got suggestions from the people at the museums as to which book might give me the most information. I was leaning toward Jean Baker's "Mary Todd Lincoln" but the staff at the Presidential Museum felt that this book had some newer info since it has been 20 years since Baker's book was written. I ended up getting this one and "The Madness of Mary Lincoln" which I'll read next but back to this one.....
I was not very impressed with this book. Perhaps because I had just visited everything and just read about all of it, I felt I wasn't really getting any new information about Mary's mental health which is what I was interested in primarily. I may get more of that from the "The Madness" - we'll see. The problem with this book is the writing. It is just not very enjoyable to read. Something about the way she put the book together is just wrong - lots of repetition and just rather confusing. I'm thinking the Baker book would have given enough information and perhaps been a more enjoyable read.
I was not very impressed with this book. Perhaps because I had just visited everything and just read about all of it, I felt I wasn't really getting any new information about Mary's mental health which is what I was interested in primarily. I may get more of that from the "The Madness" - we'll see. The problem with this book is the writing. It is just not very enjoyable to read. Something about the way she put the book together is just wrong - lots of repetition and just rather confusing. I'm thinking the Baker book would have given enough information and perhaps been a more enjoyable read.
May 31, 2017
A pretty sympathetic portrait of MTL. The first half of this book flew by for me as the author really describes the times & everyday life of people, especially women of the day. Once the Lincoln's were in the White House until her death, was slower only because Mary's devolvement into carping, paranoia, temper and out of control spender was difficult.
MTL had the misfortune to be an intelligent and ambitious woman born into a time & place where women rarely moved beyond the household or out of a husband's shadow. Unfortunately, instead of making the most of her gifts in a socially acceptable manner, she grew to bitterness and into victim behavior especially after the death of the President. Was she mentally ill? I don't think the author made the case for me in either the affirmative or negative. I did come away with the thought that many including the press did her a great disservice which fed into her increasingly mercurial behavior.
Clinton also drew an interesting picture of Lincoln as a man and how much Mary really helped him through his own dark moods. Did he have clinical depression? Perhaps. We so mythologize him in the U.S., I hadn't realized how much of his own baggage there was.
Overall very interesting read, I learned a lot which is always a plus and a must for anyone interested in the topic.
MTL had the misfortune to be an intelligent and ambitious woman born into a time & place where women rarely moved beyond the household or out of a husband's shadow. Unfortunately, instead of making the most of her gifts in a socially acceptable manner, she grew to bitterness and into victim behavior especially after the death of the President. Was she mentally ill? I don't think the author made the case for me in either the affirmative or negative. I did come away with the thought that many including the press did her a great disservice which fed into her increasingly mercurial behavior.
Clinton also drew an interesting picture of Lincoln as a man and how much Mary really helped him through his own dark moods. Did he have clinical depression? Perhaps. We so mythologize him in the U.S., I hadn't realized how much of his own baggage there was.
Overall very interesting read, I learned a lot which is always a plus and a must for anyone interested in the topic.
July 27, 2011
I was very pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed this one. While the author doesn't really go into any depth into her subject, it does make a good introduction to the life and times of Mary Lincoln, and I was both intrigued and appalled by the treatment that she received after her husband's death at the hands of her eldest son. Also gives a glimpse into the treatment of the mentally disabled in nineteenth century America. Recommended.
For the longer review, please go here:
http://www.epinions.com/review/Book_M...
For the longer review, please go here:
http://www.epinions.com/review/Book_M...
December 4, 2020
A book about the redoubtable Mary Todd Lincoln always arouses curiosity. Long back I had read Irving Stone's Love is Eternal which had made me want to know more about this controversial First lady. This is a book written by a historian of repute and lives up to its expectation of being factual. There are about sixty pages of index at the end and one can verify all that the author has put in writing.
This book starts with descriptions of Mary's early childhood in a upper class household, death of her mother when she was very young and then her subsequent growth into a self possessed young lady with a sharp mind and a will of her own. She was much more educated than most(even men) in her part of the country( Kentucky). As she relocates to Springfield, Illinois to stay with her older sister, she has many suitors but chooses Mr Abraham Lincoln over objections of her sisters. Mary had been born in a politically affiliated family and had a keen sense of politics and the cross currents of political life. Her early life with Lincoln was not too rosy as he was a struggling lawyer with no family support. Mary's social and political ambitions are finally met as Abraham Lincoln becomes the 16th President of the country.During their stay in the White House, she gets involved in a number of controversies, some of which the writer feels were created by the press of those days but many were also of her own doing. Mary Todd Lincoln comes across as a woman with an agenda, a shrewd calculating one but also a woman who is enamoured of her illustrious husband. During the Civil War she was torn apart by the press just because she was a Southerner. Her loyalty was questioned which was very hard for her to bear. The Lincolns had lost a child while in Springfield but the loss of their angelic Willie was almost too much to bear for them both. This did put a strain on their relationship but according to the author, they shared a deep and abiding bond in spite of all the hardships. As the country plunged into the dark and depressive days of the war, Mary Lincoln served the soldiers in the hospitals, providing them with many comforts but also spent huge amounts on herself, going on shopping trips to New York and running up huge bills. Her redecorating of the WH also came in for a lot of criticism and rightly so. I agree with the author who maintains an overall sympathetic attitude towards the First lady but does point out her flaws too.
In any case, this was nothing as compared to what happened to her after President Lincoln was assassinated right in front of her just days after the end of the war. This terrible incident and subsequent move out of Washington made her a recluse, wallowing in self pity and almost giving up on life. Her abrasive nature had alienated her from her own family and she had also burnt her bridges with many other close acquaintances. At this point her sole concern became money and how to petition Congress for a pension( I felt they should have done so automatically). She had to wait till President Lincoln's estate got settled but had no patience. Her younger son Tad became her crutch at this time and she travelled to Europe with him. Unfortunately, on their return, Tad took ill and passed away just after his eighteenth birthday. This completely shattered her mentally and emotionally.She started behaving erratically in many ways. As a mother, one can imagine what a terrible blow this must have been. But she still continued with her quest for more financial security, always imagining that she is bereft of it. After this comes the most tragic point of her life when her oldest son Robert, commits her to a mental sanatorium so she can't do any harm to herself. This was done in complete disregard to her wishes and she was made to undergo a public hearing without being represented by her own lawyers. I could not imagine how a lady could face such an ordeal. According to the author , Mary Lincoln lost control of all her finances but was treated very well at the sanatorium. After a few months Mary managed to write to her older sister in Springfield and got herself released into her care. She represented her case against her son and got her finances in her control again. She made secret plans of travelling and living in Europe which she did. She stayed in a small French spa town Pau for several years away from all publicity. As Mary Lincoln was able to do all this on her own, it is certain that she was not 'insane'. She eventually came back to Springfield to stay with her sister's family. Such travails had taken a toll on her and she passed away at age of sixty three in 1882 at her sister's home.
While reading Mary Todd Lincoln's life story, I felt she was a woman born much before her time. In the mid 19th century, not many women showed such independent streak nor vied for financial independence. I can't say I enjoyed reading the book as the story of the Lincoln's is overwhelmingly sad. But I think the author has presented Mary Todd Lincoln's complex personality with precision and a lot of sympathy.
This book starts with descriptions of Mary's early childhood in a upper class household, death of her mother when she was very young and then her subsequent growth into a self possessed young lady with a sharp mind and a will of her own. She was much more educated than most(even men) in her part of the country( Kentucky). As she relocates to Springfield, Illinois to stay with her older sister, she has many suitors but chooses Mr Abraham Lincoln over objections of her sisters. Mary had been born in a politically affiliated family and had a keen sense of politics and the cross currents of political life. Her early life with Lincoln was not too rosy as he was a struggling lawyer with no family support. Mary's social and political ambitions are finally met as Abraham Lincoln becomes the 16th President of the country.During their stay in the White House, she gets involved in a number of controversies, some of which the writer feels were created by the press of those days but many were also of her own doing. Mary Todd Lincoln comes across as a woman with an agenda, a shrewd calculating one but also a woman who is enamoured of her illustrious husband. During the Civil War she was torn apart by the press just because she was a Southerner. Her loyalty was questioned which was very hard for her to bear. The Lincolns had lost a child while in Springfield but the loss of their angelic Willie was almost too much to bear for them both. This did put a strain on their relationship but according to the author, they shared a deep and abiding bond in spite of all the hardships. As the country plunged into the dark and depressive days of the war, Mary Lincoln served the soldiers in the hospitals, providing them with many comforts but also spent huge amounts on herself, going on shopping trips to New York and running up huge bills. Her redecorating of the WH also came in for a lot of criticism and rightly so. I agree with the author who maintains an overall sympathetic attitude towards the First lady but does point out her flaws too.
In any case, this was nothing as compared to what happened to her after President Lincoln was assassinated right in front of her just days after the end of the war. This terrible incident and subsequent move out of Washington made her a recluse, wallowing in self pity and almost giving up on life. Her abrasive nature had alienated her from her own family and she had also burnt her bridges with many other close acquaintances. At this point her sole concern became money and how to petition Congress for a pension( I felt they should have done so automatically). She had to wait till President Lincoln's estate got settled but had no patience. Her younger son Tad became her crutch at this time and she travelled to Europe with him. Unfortunately, on their return, Tad took ill and passed away just after his eighteenth birthday. This completely shattered her mentally and emotionally.She started behaving erratically in many ways. As a mother, one can imagine what a terrible blow this must have been. But she still continued with her quest for more financial security, always imagining that she is bereft of it. After this comes the most tragic point of her life when her oldest son Robert, commits her to a mental sanatorium so she can't do any harm to herself. This was done in complete disregard to her wishes and she was made to undergo a public hearing without being represented by her own lawyers. I could not imagine how a lady could face such an ordeal. According to the author , Mary Lincoln lost control of all her finances but was treated very well at the sanatorium. After a few months Mary managed to write to her older sister in Springfield and got herself released into her care. She represented her case against her son and got her finances in her control again. She made secret plans of travelling and living in Europe which she did. She stayed in a small French spa town Pau for several years away from all publicity. As Mary Lincoln was able to do all this on her own, it is certain that she was not 'insane'. She eventually came back to Springfield to stay with her sister's family. Such travails had taken a toll on her and she passed away at age of sixty three in 1882 at her sister's home.
While reading Mary Todd Lincoln's life story, I felt she was a woman born much before her time. In the mid 19th century, not many women showed such independent streak nor vied for financial independence. I can't say I enjoyed reading the book as the story of the Lincoln's is overwhelmingly sad. But I think the author has presented Mary Todd Lincoln's complex personality with precision and a lot of sympathy.
October 22, 2020
A wonderful biography of Mary Lincoln. I appreciated the balanced point of view that the author has about writing about the much maligned First Lady. Mary was an intelligent but also very complicated woman. No matter how well researched a book may be the truth of the matter is we are only guessing about motives and why specific incidents happen in the lives of people that lived so long ago, especially when we don't have any explanation in their own writing and are depending on memories of people who knew them. Ms. Clinton laid out the facts, mentioned conclusions reached by different authors and then let you draw your own conclusions. She did not however absolve Mary Lincoln from some very destructive behaviors. Very glad I read this book.
April 25, 2025
Nothing new here, but a lot of details. Mary Lincoln loved her husband and her sons. Her life was severely marked by the tragedies of their deaths. She was maligned by the press and politicians. Mary, certainly, had sanity issues that were not dealt with; other than bring “committed” by her surviving son. This did not necessarily help her any, but gave her son relief from publicity about his mother’s activities. Overall, she led a fairly sad existence.
October 2, 2011
A lot of pressure comes to those who play the role of a President’s wife. Pressures the “average” person can’t always fathom. One can only imagine the immense life of Mary Todd Lincoln, the wife of our beloved Emancipator. It is debated whether Mrs. Lincoln was “crazy” or just caved into the pressures of the role and the mother of a devious son. What do I think? We’re all a little crazy…
Mrs. Lincoln: A Life is an immediate page turner with smooth and easy-to-read text. I found myself instantly putting off other tasks just to read “one more page”. The text begins with a background portrait of both Mary and Abraham beginning at their childhoods and upbringing. These portions were not too in-depth or menial and presented the reader with a deeper understanding of how both childhood traumas and joyous events can be used to gauge adult behaviors. Both Abraham and Mary are portrayed as relatable, enough so that I could see myself in their actions.
On the negative front: I did find that larger chunks focused on Abraham’s childhood and then subsequently on the Lincoln marriage and combined family life/logistics versus an insight into Mary’s psyche. There WERE moments of revelation but Catherine Clinton failed to focus wholly on what made Mary “click”. Much of the book was more on politics than Mary’s solid reactions.
Additionally, I would have preferred more annotations and hard resources. Yes, the notes and bibliography are lengthy, but these weren’t quoted enough throughout the text. A pattern appeared of personal Lincoln letters being mentioned and wetting the reader’s appetite, but then Clinton would only include one quoted line (if anything at all) versus a letter presented in full.
Another issue was with Clinton’s strenuous efforts to remain unbiased on her subject. Often times, she made comments along the lines of, “We, as historians, don’t have proof on (fill in the blank) so we can only stipulate that (fill in blank again)". History authors tend to go too far on either end of the spectrum: either too biased or no bias at all which loses touch with the attempted point. This caused the book to simply read as a retelling of events in the life of Mrs. Lincoln (a timeline) versus compelling or unheard of information. Monumental events such as the death of Mary’s father, grandmother, and youngest son (Eddie) all dying within close intervals; barely received more than a page of text versus following and explaining her grief. Stipulations were even made relating to these intense events with text such as, “Burying Eddie might have been one of the hardest things the Lincolns have ever done” and “It might have pained her to see the toddler next door in Eddie’s plaid shirt”. I’m not a huge fan of “might have’s” in history novels. Stick that in historical fiction.
Don’t despair, however, because there are some persuasive and argumentative moments using research and hard facts to dispel myths and propaganda but these are too far in between for my taste. Plus, some humorous family antidotes fill the pages involving child/father relations such as son Tad requesting a pardon for a Thanksgiving Turkey (which has been now exercised by every subsequent Presidential family) and “court trials” for some of Tad’s toy soldiers.
Mrs. Clinton’s work does at time feel a bit disjointed, chunky, and repetitive. It almost appears to have been penned in a different order than the final manuscript which repeats passages… or Mrs. Clinton simply has bad memory.
The novel finally begun to focus more on Mary’s life and consciousness after Lincoln’s death around page 250: perhaps a bit delayed for some readers.
On a personal note, I don’t believe Mary was crazy. I believe she many have had anxiety disorder, OCD, and maniac depression (with bouts of abandonment issues). I believe these disorders also negatively complimented the opium’s diagnosed for her illnesses and sleep deprivation. Nowadays, most Americans suffer from these ailments and yet, aren’t considered crazy. Times have changed.
Regardless of my (many) complaints, I did highly enjoy this book. It wasn’t what I expected (an in-depth, hearty look into Mary’s life and brain); but it was an enjoyable overall portrait suggested for an intro to Mary’s life. Although I am strict with historical fiction, I actually suggest Janis Cooke Newman’s, “Mrs. A. Lincoln” for a terrific historical fiction read which dives deep into Mary’s mind.
Mrs. Lincoln: A Life is an immediate page turner with smooth and easy-to-read text. I found myself instantly putting off other tasks just to read “one more page”. The text begins with a background portrait of both Mary and Abraham beginning at their childhoods and upbringing. These portions were not too in-depth or menial and presented the reader with a deeper understanding of how both childhood traumas and joyous events can be used to gauge adult behaviors. Both Abraham and Mary are portrayed as relatable, enough so that I could see myself in their actions.
On the negative front: I did find that larger chunks focused on Abraham’s childhood and then subsequently on the Lincoln marriage and combined family life/logistics versus an insight into Mary’s psyche. There WERE moments of revelation but Catherine Clinton failed to focus wholly on what made Mary “click”. Much of the book was more on politics than Mary’s solid reactions.
Additionally, I would have preferred more annotations and hard resources. Yes, the notes and bibliography are lengthy, but these weren’t quoted enough throughout the text. A pattern appeared of personal Lincoln letters being mentioned and wetting the reader’s appetite, but then Clinton would only include one quoted line (if anything at all) versus a letter presented in full.
Another issue was with Clinton’s strenuous efforts to remain unbiased on her subject. Often times, she made comments along the lines of, “We, as historians, don’t have proof on (fill in the blank) so we can only stipulate that (fill in blank again)". History authors tend to go too far on either end of the spectrum: either too biased or no bias at all which loses touch with the attempted point. This caused the book to simply read as a retelling of events in the life of Mrs. Lincoln (a timeline) versus compelling or unheard of information. Monumental events such as the death of Mary’s father, grandmother, and youngest son (Eddie) all dying within close intervals; barely received more than a page of text versus following and explaining her grief. Stipulations were even made relating to these intense events with text such as, “Burying Eddie might have been one of the hardest things the Lincolns have ever done” and “It might have pained her to see the toddler next door in Eddie’s plaid shirt”. I’m not a huge fan of “might have’s” in history novels. Stick that in historical fiction.
Don’t despair, however, because there are some persuasive and argumentative moments using research and hard facts to dispel myths and propaganda but these are too far in between for my taste. Plus, some humorous family antidotes fill the pages involving child/father relations such as son Tad requesting a pardon for a Thanksgiving Turkey (which has been now exercised by every subsequent Presidential family) and “court trials” for some of Tad’s toy soldiers.
Mrs. Clinton’s work does at time feel a bit disjointed, chunky, and repetitive. It almost appears to have been penned in a different order than the final manuscript which repeats passages… or Mrs. Clinton simply has bad memory.
The novel finally begun to focus more on Mary’s life and consciousness after Lincoln’s death around page 250: perhaps a bit delayed for some readers.
On a personal note, I don’t believe Mary was crazy. I believe she many have had anxiety disorder, OCD, and maniac depression (with bouts of abandonment issues). I believe these disorders also negatively complimented the opium’s diagnosed for her illnesses and sleep deprivation. Nowadays, most Americans suffer from these ailments and yet, aren’t considered crazy. Times have changed.
Regardless of my (many) complaints, I did highly enjoy this book. It wasn’t what I expected (an in-depth, hearty look into Mary’s life and brain); but it was an enjoyable overall portrait suggested for an intro to Mary’s life. Although I am strict with historical fiction, I actually suggest Janis Cooke Newman’s, “Mrs. A. Lincoln” for a terrific historical fiction read which dives deep into Mary’s mind.
August 19, 2011
Highly readable and informative. The author works hard, through research and understanding of context, to demonstrate how assumptions, the tabloid journalism of the day, and powerful people with grudges skewed (and skewered) the image of this intelligent, complex, and determined woman, who's been therefore treated unsympathetically by history. "Wasn't she crazy?" people say about her, 140 years later. But, Clinton shows, "She was a woman of intense intellect and passion who stepped outside the boundaries her times prescribed, and suffered for it. She...endured more personal loss and public humiliation than any other woman of her generation." (It's easy to see parallels with today's biased portraits of influential women, although that is not within the book's scope.) You get great insights into the Civil War (especially from women's points of view), the partnership within the Lincolns' marriage, the human side of a family enduring great personal tragedy (echoes of the Kennedys) in the midst of national tragedy. Occasionally there are passages which seem repetitive, as if each chapter were to be printed serially, but otherwise it's as engaging as a novel while thorough in its scholarship.
November 29, 2010
This one of the best books on Mrs. Lincoln that I have read. It does a pretty good job of "seeing her life from her side" and explaining a lot of the mysteries of this lady. Yes, there are insights on the president which I enjoyed. But I really got the book to better understand Mrs. Lincoln and try to see why and how she handled herself. It is in the final analysis a bit sad. I truly believe she loved Mr. Lincoln and that he loved her as well.
There were two questions that I am in the process of following up on at this time.
The author referred to Mr. Lincoln's brothers. He had only one brother who died in infancy in Hodgenville, Kentucky. He gained one step brother when Tom Lincoln married Sarah Bush. I am not sure to whom she was referring as result.
The other issue - the author refers to the "fact" that Lincoln was carrying a pistol the night he was assassinated. In my 60 plus years of reading/studying Lincoln, I have never - ever - read or heard of Lincoln being armed that night. That is a mistake of significance, in my view.
There were two questions that I am in the process of following up on at this time.
The author referred to Mr. Lincoln's brothers. He had only one brother who died in infancy in Hodgenville, Kentucky. He gained one step brother when Tom Lincoln married Sarah Bush. I am not sure to whom she was referring as result.
The other issue - the author refers to the "fact" that Lincoln was carrying a pistol the night he was assassinated. In my 60 plus years of reading/studying Lincoln, I have never - ever - read or heard of Lincoln being armed that night. That is a mistake of significance, in my view.
December 27, 2014
I just couldn't get enough of the Lincoln family, so after reading Team of Rivals and Killing Lincoln, I jumped right into this biography of Mary Todd Lincoln.
While it didn't rise to the excellence of the aforementioned books, it did provide a good perspective on Lincoln's widow. Biographies of Abraham Lincoln tend to give a one-dimensional view of Mrs. Lincoln, portraying her as frivolous and high strung, but Mrs. Lincoln took the time to place those instances in context, and in doing so made her actions seem understandable, or blown out of proportion by the press. In fact, she was the first First Lady to be attacked by the media.
In addition, author Catherine Clinton did a good job showing Mrs. Lincoln's political savvy as well as her compassion. 3 1/2 stars.
While it didn't rise to the excellence of the aforementioned books, it did provide a good perspective on Lincoln's widow. Biographies of Abraham Lincoln tend to give a one-dimensional view of Mrs. Lincoln, portraying her as frivolous and high strung, but Mrs. Lincoln took the time to place those instances in context, and in doing so made her actions seem understandable, or blown out of proportion by the press. In fact, she was the first First Lady to be attacked by the media.
In addition, author Catherine Clinton did a good job showing Mrs. Lincoln's political savvy as well as her compassion. 3 1/2 stars.
January 23, 2009
This book was truly a study in contrasts...but what I got from it was a refreshing, new perspective on a woman who has been much maligned in history. True, Mary Lincoln had many faults and brought a lot of her issues upon herself. However, she was also a woman who believed in her famous husband and encouraged him to reach his true potential. She was loyal to Lincoln and doted on her sons. The latter one-third of the book is very gloomy and depressing considering the bad press she got in addition to the deaths of her husband, son Tad, and Robert Lincoln's (her oldest son) treatment of her by placing her in an asylum. But in the end, she never waivered in her love for her husband.
This biography was long overdue.
This biography was long overdue.
August 26, 2017
This was very interesting and highly readable, and I did not find myself bored with it at any point. Mary Lincoln (she never referred to herself as Mary Todd Lincoln) is one of the most controversial first ladies in US history, and was on the receiving end of the nastiest political attacks on a first lady ever, at least until Eleanor Roosevelt and Hillary Clinton came along.
Although Mary Todd and Abraham Lincoln were both born in the same region of Kentucky, their early years could not have been more different. Mary Todd came from a southern upper-class background and even grew up with slaves, unlike her husband, who did not see his first slave auction until he was in his late teens. This must have led to some interesting political discussions in the Lincoln household later on, but a substantial amount of correspondence between the two has been lost so we don’t really know. Because of her upper-class background, she was given an extensive education for a woman at that time, and had ten years’ worth of formal education to her husband’s one. Like her husband, she also loved and wrote poetry.
Mary Todd met Abraham Lincoln in Springfield (she had two married sisters who had previously moved there), and they eventually married after a long and tempestuous courtship. During their time in Springfield, she was politically astute and helped Lincoln in his multiple (and mostly unsuccessful) campaigns for public office. But while they were in Springfield, Mary began to show signs of developing what was to become a disastrous pattern of spending and ultimately becoming a shopaholic. Lincoln was a successful corporate lawyer for most of his time in Springfield, so there was enough money to support Mary’s spending habits.
Something I did not realize until I read this book is that in the mid-1800’s spiritualism and spirit circles were considered fairly normal, and the idea of Mary holding seances in the White House would not have raised as many eyebrows then as it would now. Spiritualism was especially prevalent among women, especially because of the high child mortality rate – in New York State alone, fifty percent of all deaths in the state were of children under the age of five. By the time Mary became involved, she had already lost two of her four sons. And as the Civil War death lists mounted, spiritualism became even more widespread. To give an idea of the losses, Civil War military casualties were proportionately higher than those of the US military in all of World War Two. And in the South, twenty percent of white males of military age died in the war. Obviously, there was a deep need for catharsis on both sides, and the statistics for the South provide a different perspective on some (not all) of the Confederate monuments.
Another thing I learned was that there had been a previous attempt on Lincoln’s life in the summer of 1863, and while Lincoln escaped unharmed, Mary did not. Someone had tampered with the family carriage, and Lincoln survived when he decided at the last minute to ride his horse into Washington, DC instead of taking the carriage. Mary decided to follow in the carriage, and the papers reported that the “driver’s seat became detached from the carriage in some way, precipitating the driver to the ground.” As a result, Mary suffered a serious head injury, and the investigation that followed proved that someone had attempted to sabotage the carriage.
Mary’s excessive shopping and spending continued throughout her time as First Lady, and became a PR nightmare as the Civil War went on. The situation became especially bad when other high-society Northern women started a movement to economize as part of the war effort. In 1864, the New York Times reported that ladies were agreeing not to use any expensive imported fabrics for the duration of the war, and a few days later, the Washington papers printed news that patriotic society women were organizing a “Ladies National Covenant,” pledging reduction of the consumption of foreign luxuries. But in 1864, Mary took another trip to New York City to buy even more, and became so caught up in her own need to buy that she “demanded and received confirmation from government offices that the United States must not offend European allies by boycotting imports. She then tried to justify her actions as patriotic – bolstering the import-export market – when she indulged in foreign finery.” (page 220). By then, she had racked up $25,000 (the amount of her husband’s annual salary) in debt, and most of it was to a single dry goods store in New York City. Even after the Lincoln assassination, she continued her spending habits, first as a form of retail therapy but then more compulsively. For example, one of her bills, for over $600, included a purchase of eighty-four pairs of gloves.
If you’re interested in historic photography, the book also contains the only known photograph of Lincoln’s open coffin. For some reason, almost all the copies were destroyed, and it was not brought forward until the twentieth century.
As this book explains, Mary Lincoln was the first First Lady to try to carve out a separate role for herself (and later tried to introduce the idea of “First Widow”), and became controversial partly because of that, so this would be of interest not only to Lincoln aficionados but also to anyone interested in historical First Ladies.
Although Mary Todd and Abraham Lincoln were both born in the same region of Kentucky, their early years could not have been more different. Mary Todd came from a southern upper-class background and even grew up with slaves, unlike her husband, who did not see his first slave auction until he was in his late teens. This must have led to some interesting political discussions in the Lincoln household later on, but a substantial amount of correspondence between the two has been lost so we don’t really know. Because of her upper-class background, she was given an extensive education for a woman at that time, and had ten years’ worth of formal education to her husband’s one. Like her husband, she also loved and wrote poetry.
Mary Todd met Abraham Lincoln in Springfield (she had two married sisters who had previously moved there), and they eventually married after a long and tempestuous courtship. During their time in Springfield, she was politically astute and helped Lincoln in his multiple (and mostly unsuccessful) campaigns for public office. But while they were in Springfield, Mary began to show signs of developing what was to become a disastrous pattern of spending and ultimately becoming a shopaholic. Lincoln was a successful corporate lawyer for most of his time in Springfield, so there was enough money to support Mary’s spending habits.
Something I did not realize until I read this book is that in the mid-1800’s spiritualism and spirit circles were considered fairly normal, and the idea of Mary holding seances in the White House would not have raised as many eyebrows then as it would now. Spiritualism was especially prevalent among women, especially because of the high child mortality rate – in New York State alone, fifty percent of all deaths in the state were of children under the age of five. By the time Mary became involved, she had already lost two of her four sons. And as the Civil War death lists mounted, spiritualism became even more widespread. To give an idea of the losses, Civil War military casualties were proportionately higher than those of the US military in all of World War Two. And in the South, twenty percent of white males of military age died in the war. Obviously, there was a deep need for catharsis on both sides, and the statistics for the South provide a different perspective on some (not all) of the Confederate monuments.
Another thing I learned was that there had been a previous attempt on Lincoln’s life in the summer of 1863, and while Lincoln escaped unharmed, Mary did not. Someone had tampered with the family carriage, and Lincoln survived when he decided at the last minute to ride his horse into Washington, DC instead of taking the carriage. Mary decided to follow in the carriage, and the papers reported that the “driver’s seat became detached from the carriage in some way, precipitating the driver to the ground.” As a result, Mary suffered a serious head injury, and the investigation that followed proved that someone had attempted to sabotage the carriage.
Mary’s excessive shopping and spending continued throughout her time as First Lady, and became a PR nightmare as the Civil War went on. The situation became especially bad when other high-society Northern women started a movement to economize as part of the war effort. In 1864, the New York Times reported that ladies were agreeing not to use any expensive imported fabrics for the duration of the war, and a few days later, the Washington papers printed news that patriotic society women were organizing a “Ladies National Covenant,” pledging reduction of the consumption of foreign luxuries. But in 1864, Mary took another trip to New York City to buy even more, and became so caught up in her own need to buy that she “demanded and received confirmation from government offices that the United States must not offend European allies by boycotting imports. She then tried to justify her actions as patriotic – bolstering the import-export market – when she indulged in foreign finery.” (page 220). By then, she had racked up $25,000 (the amount of her husband’s annual salary) in debt, and most of it was to a single dry goods store in New York City. Even after the Lincoln assassination, she continued her spending habits, first as a form of retail therapy but then more compulsively. For example, one of her bills, for over $600, included a purchase of eighty-four pairs of gloves.
If you’re interested in historic photography, the book also contains the only known photograph of Lincoln’s open coffin. For some reason, almost all the copies were destroyed, and it was not brought forward until the twentieth century.
As this book explains, Mary Lincoln was the first First Lady to try to carve out a separate role for herself (and later tried to introduce the idea of “First Widow”), and became controversial partly because of that, so this would be of interest not only to Lincoln aficionados but also to anyone interested in historical First Ladies.
August 21, 2010
I felt like I was ploughing through a poorly written term paper when I was reading this book.
August 31, 2012
Sad lady living in a remarkable time!!!
January 16, 2023
I had an interesting experience with this book. I saw it on a display randomly at the library and decided to give it a try, as I knew absolutely nothing of Lincoln's wife. So, I went in with no knowledge of her and I think that was part of why this book didn't really land for me. It really felt like I needed some working knowledge of her and other explanations of her life to appreciate what this book was trying to accomplish.
The theme of the book felt like: Mary Lincoln has been demonized for hundreds of years but really she wasn't as bad as they say. Here's why.
Then, for hundreds of pages Clinton defends her against claims and slander I've never heard. Upon some further research, it sounds as though there were some events that were left out entirely or at least looked at a little askew to make Mary Lincoln fit into the "she really wasn't THAT bad mold." There were other times when the I felt the author was dismissive of her behavior, or skirted around something to arrive at the conclusions she wanted, or at least to shrug and say "views on this differ, we dunno."
I will say the end of the book (the less controversial years of her life) were better handled and I enjoyed reading those parts especially.
I went into this book knowing literally nothing about Mary Lincoln and a limited amount about Abraham Lincoln and am leaving with...
1. more respect for both Lincolns
2. an understanding that people are a mix of good and bad and extreme circumstances can bring out the very worst. That doesn't have to be the whole of who you are or how you're remembered.
3. the Civil War was so sad and so many people suffered so much, both directly and indirectly.
4. Lincoln's death was an absolute tragedy after years of tragedy and I wonder what would have happened with Mary if he had lived.
5. money messes with people, both then and now.
The theme of the book felt like: Mary Lincoln has been demonized for hundreds of years but really she wasn't as bad as they say. Here's why.
Then, for hundreds of pages Clinton defends her against claims and slander I've never heard. Upon some further research, it sounds as though there were some events that were left out entirely or at least looked at a little askew to make Mary Lincoln fit into the "she really wasn't THAT bad mold." There were other times when the I felt the author was dismissive of her behavior, or skirted around something to arrive at the conclusions she wanted, or at least to shrug and say "views on this differ, we dunno."
I will say the end of the book (the less controversial years of her life) were better handled and I enjoyed reading those parts especially.
I went into this book knowing literally nothing about Mary Lincoln and a limited amount about Abraham Lincoln and am leaving with...
1. more respect for both Lincolns
2. an understanding that people are a mix of good and bad and extreme circumstances can bring out the very worst. That doesn't have to be the whole of who you are or how you're remembered.
3. the Civil War was so sad and so many people suffered so much, both directly and indirectly.
4. Lincoln's death was an absolute tragedy after years of tragedy and I wonder what would have happened with Mary if he had lived.
5. money messes with people, both then and now.
September 2, 2017
Wow! I didn't realize how hated Mrs. Lincoln was before reading this book. I'm sure she must have been a little outspoken and difficult for her time but I also think she was probably unfairly judged too. It sounds like she tried to do well, but went about things in the wrong way in the political limelight. Her outrageous spending habits didn't help her either, I'm sure. I had to laugh when I read that she made herself 5 years younger when a census was conducted in 1860!
It saddened me to read how she was treated after her husband's death. He was the president, but she was his wife and it seems that she was rather "bullied" out of the way. Even if she was hysterical, she deserved to be treated with some kindness and understanding while her husband lay dying. She may have also been prone to some mental illness - and who wouldn't with all the tragedy she endured? Still, she deserved a little more respect and kindness than it sounds like she received. I can understand her son's frustration with her behavior, but it seems like he tried to just "put her away" to put an end to his embarrassment and her outrageous spending. I don't know why shopkeepers didn't just cut her off once her bills were not paid or why her family didn't try to put tighter reins on this issue. No matter what, she was a complicated woman who faced many more ordeals than most of us will in a lifetime.
It saddened me to read how she was treated after her husband's death. He was the president, but she was his wife and it seems that she was rather "bullied" out of the way. Even if she was hysterical, she deserved to be treated with some kindness and understanding while her husband lay dying. She may have also been prone to some mental illness - and who wouldn't with all the tragedy she endured? Still, she deserved a little more respect and kindness than it sounds like she received. I can understand her son's frustration with her behavior, but it seems like he tried to just "put her away" to put an end to his embarrassment and her outrageous spending. I don't know why shopkeepers didn't just cut her off once her bills were not paid or why her family didn't try to put tighter reins on this issue. No matter what, she was a complicated woman who faced many more ordeals than most of us will in a lifetime.
October 5, 2019
This is an easy read, thorough and informative, though I thought a bit tedious ultimately (TMI?). It's a long book but 100 pages are notes. It is also about more than Mary Todd Lincoln. It is about Lincoln's political career and about the Civil War and about the various family lines, like the Todds, and their interplay. Where there are disputes, because the historical record is vague or missing somehow, the author tries not to speculate or offer conclusions but presents both sides (although she is somewhat dismissive of the ones she finds radical or unsupported -- like the idea that Lincoln was gay, which I had never heard before, or that Mrs. Lincoln was unfaithful, ditto). Indeed, she paints a portrait of a fairly tragic family made more tragic by civil war. It does seem clear that both Lincolns suffered chronic depression but it also portrays a committed couple in impossible times. I felt sorry for them both. (Hillary Clinton would no doubt sympathize with the way Mrs Lincoln was vilified with little or no basis.)
Overall it is an interesting history of 19th century America, circa 1840-1900 give or take, and of politics and human nature universally.
Overall it is an interesting history of 19th century America, circa 1840-1900 give or take, and of politics and human nature universally.
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