The Center of the Universe

by Nancy Bachrach

Nancy Bachrach is living in Paris, selling deodorant to the French, when a freak accident kills her father aboard his cabin cruiser, the aptly dubbed Mr. Fix It , in her incongruously named hometown of Providence. Her mother, Lola, the self-proclaimed “center of the universe,” whose medical history reads like the chapter headings of a psychiatric manual, lies in a coma “on death’s waiting list.” Nancy rushes home and sits by her mother’s ventilator—thinking about Sunny von Bülow and eyeing the plug. Thus begins a family reunion with her brother, Ben (a piano prodigy and eventual surgeon who was born with three thumbs), and sister, Helen (the wild child, now an “abnormal psychologist”).

This is a dark, hilarious tale of genius, madness, ineptitude, collateral damage, and hope—with an ending that’s improbable, as only the truth can be. Aching and tender, unflinching and wry, The Center of the Universe is a multi generational mother-daughter story—a splendid, funny, lyrical book about family, truth, memory, and the resilience of love.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Biography Memoir

256 pages, Hardcover

First published April 28, 2009

About the author

THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE: A MEMOIR
"Bachrach is one of the funniest writers I've ever read, period. Make room on the shelf next to Sedaris, Eggers, Wilsey." --Alexandra Fuller.

"The Center of the Universe" is a mordantly funny memoir guaranteed to make you feel better if you think your family is crazy. The story is so improbable it could only be true: A brilliant woman with a long history of mental illness -- who once proclaimed herself to be the "the center of the universe" -- is miraculously cured by accidental carbon monoxide poisoning aboard the family boat, the aptly named Mr. Fix It. Nancy Bachrach warns readers, "Don't try this at home" in her darkly humorous memoir about "the second coming" of her mother, the irresistible Lola.

Aching and tender, unflinching and wry, The Center of the Universe is a multigenerational mother-daughter story—a splendid, funny, lyrical memoir about family, truth, and the resilience of love.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Nancy Bachrach worked in advertising in New York and Paris, spinning hot air like cotton candy, and the highlight of her career was selling the first deodorant to the French. Before that, she was a teaching assistant in the philosophy department at Brandeis University, where she was one chapter ahead of her class. She lives in New York City. This is her first book.

THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE was published by Alfred A. Knopf and Vintage.
ISBN-10: 0307270904
ISBN-13: 978-0307270900
http://www.amazon.com/Center-Universe...

Reviews

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

Years ago I read a book about someone's barely functioning family that the author said, "Put the FUN in dysfunctional." This bo0k puts the "dys" into dysfunctional.

The subject of the book is the author's mother, a brilliant person with bipolar disorder, seemingly usually in the extreme manic phase, who declares to her family in the car once that she is the "center of the universe." The book relates the ungodly childhoods of the author and her two siblings at the hands of this mother, beginning with a perfect, naive child's-eye view that tries to piece together odd behaviors that they hear their mother mention herself or be accused of by others. The children also continually witness the passionate love-making of their parents, who often keep the door open when in session.

The book revolves around an event that typifies the almost comic incompetence of her father, Mort, who kills himself and all but kills his brilliant, crazy wife, Lola, when they spend the night in his self-repaired frigate and turn on the heat, resulting in deadly carbon-monoxide poisoning. Lola is delivered with a faint pulse into a hospital, where the doctor declares that she has permanent and irreversible brain damage.

Amazingly, Lola not only recovers, but gradually rebuilds a new personality that incorporates her mental deficits and some of her worst pre-CO-poisoning personality characteristics into a relatively independent life, marrying old men and having them die after a few years. The last two-thirds of the book is written from an adult point of view by the author, as she and her brother and sister wrestle with the hope that Lola can become well enough to live independently. She does, retaining some manic characteristics such as walking outdoors with her underwear on--or worse, only half of her underwear.

This book is brilliantly written, with literary allusions that are various and dead-on. The fact that, among them, the three children earn two Ph.D.s and one M.D degree is a testament to their own brilliance and their ability to claw their way out of grossly neglected childhoods.

This book is stranger than fiction. I would recommend it to anyone interested in psychology, dysfunctional families, or who just wants to read a gripping and harrowing story.

[Mary Paladin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who has ever lived with the cerebral "elephant in the room" will relate to every word...this is a must read. It erases the feeling of isolation, which often comes with the frantic puzzle that mental "illness" scatters on the family table.
Ms Bachrach exposes herself honestly, revealing many aspects of the burning inferno into which life can toss the children of a parent who struggles within their own type of hell.
It is written in a humorous voice but, her pain can be felt by those that have tossed a slip cover over their own place of repose. The breakthrough that Ms Bachrach experiences (and shares with the reader) is one that unfortunatley, doesn't come to many children until it is too late.
I applaud Ms Bachrach; this was a book that I will never forget.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow. This book left me speechless. In the first half, I didn't really like it. The author comes from a crazy family and seems angry when she writes about her childhood. Not really pleasant stuff to read. But then, as her mother slowly recovers from a boating accident, it changed for me and i couldn't stop reading. The way the author and her siblings come to their mother's rescue is amazing. They constantly push the mother and medical establishment. Her recovery is unexplainable. This really is a story about doing anything and everything for your family.

[Dahven white · Rating 4 out of 5]

My favourite genre - the dysfunctional mother memoir. Witty and well written with lots of humour and affection towards her family. Interestingly, this one also deals with her father's death and her mother's descent towards death.

[Jill Meyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nancy Bachrach's memoir, "The Center of the Universe" was first published about ten years ago. I read it and reviewed it then, but after rereading it this week, I thought it needed a new review, so here it is.

Bachrach's story is primarily about her mother, Lola, who survives carbon monoxide poisoning on her husband, Mort's, boat. Mort, unfortunately, dies during the incident and Lola has to recover and learn to do the basic things in life to live on her own. Helping her with this are Mort and Lola's three children, Nancy, Helen, and Ben. Now, these grown children have had their hands full with their parents all their lives.

Lola has been a life-long manic depressive, and the term "Center of the Universe" is used to describe her. She has been in-and-out of "Shady Hills" for years, going through shock treatment to trigger her sanity. In between trips to the mental hospital, she raised her children with Mort in a most haphazard way. The kids never knew what was coming next. Lola was born into an eccentric family, where her ancestors were brilliant, but "troubled". Mort, meantime, was devoted to his wife and children, but was not a great provider. He was known as "Mr Fixit" - his doomed boat was called the "Mr Fixit" - though he was down-right dangerous.

The book begins in the mid-1980's as Nancy is living in Paris, working as an advertising executive. Her brother and sister are working - one as an emergency room MD and the other as a teacher of the deaf - when they receive word of their parents' accident on the boat. They expect to bury both parents, but somehow Lola is found alive and revived. The children then work on Lola's recovery for the next couple of years. She's not the same person post-gassing as pre-gassing, and that's actually a good thing. The epilogue brings the reader up to date ten years later.

I realize I'm making Nancy Bachrach's book sound sad and the characters pathetic, but I think you'll be laughing out loud as you read the book. Bachrach's wit brings all the characters to life - even those who have been dead for years - and you'll be sure to identify with at least a few of the people. Bachrach sees the absurdities in her story but treats everyone with kindness. It's a great book.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The cover blurbs said it was screamingly funny, which I guess it was in places, but only if you have a high tolerance for child endangerment. As a counselor in public mental health I found it a very good read, because I often encounter people with acute psychiatric disorders, and the tendency is to focus on the "identified client," listening to their families only for the information they can give you. It's quite easy to forget that their families have been living with this person, their weirdness, their self-absorption, their loss of insight, for a long time, and that they need and love this person too. That the family is tired, worried, sad, frustrated, embarrassed and wants to live a normal life. That nobody listens to the family.

I got my copy at the library, and it smelled like an ashtray, which detracted from the pleasure of reading it. Eeeg.

[Nette · Rating 4 out of 5]

A strange, funny tale of a mother who, during the first half of her life, terrorizes her poor kids with her mania, and then has an accident that kills her husband and results in her severe brain damage. I enjoyed the author's dry, sardonic tone; without it, this would have been an unbearably smarmy tale of Tragedy, Despair, Hope, and Reconciliation. But I have to say that even more than the nightmarish mom stuff, I really enjoyed her descriptions of working in advertising in Paris, trying to convince the French to buy deodorant, a task that would have confounded even Don Draper. I'm crossing my fingers for another book focusing on that part of her life.

[Antonia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very witty and well written. I found myself liking the author so much. I was spellbound. It's true that the events aren't funny at all, are tragic, in fact. And sometimes I thought the author related them with a bit too much emphasis on the seeming comedy. Personally, I'd have liked a bit more information about the medical/scientific aspects of Lola's memory, brain damage, and recovery -- though probably most readers would not. But overall, really enjoyed this book. Would love to see what this author might do in another genre.

[Meagan Houle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nancy's rendering of her mother's turbulent life before and after a devastating accident is loving but complex, unsparing but gracious. Lola may indeed have been the "center of the universe," but it was Nancy's self-deprecating, lone wolfish charm that captivated me most. This book may have been primarily about Nancy's mother, but I found myself more drawn to her own story, shaped as it was by her relationship with a parent whose mental illness so often overshadowed all else. The author reveals herself, bit by bit, in the retelling of her mother's astonishing rise (awkward hobble?) from the ashes, and that's the real story.
What I appreciated, even more than the humour and biting wit of our narrator, was the honest portrayal of mental illness, what it's like to live around it, and the less-than-romantic nature of brain injury recovery. This is not a linear, prettily packaged journey toward inspiration. This is as halting and true as life itself, with all its attendant ugliness and setbacks. I'm a devotee of unvarnished realism, particularly when tinged with compassionate grace, and I believe that realism--more than the stranger-than-fiction narrative--is what makes "Center of the Universe" unforgettable.

[Catherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Memorial Day weekend 1983 Bachrach's parents spent the night on their boat, the "Mr. Fix It." Her father's life ends that night and her mother is rushed to a hospital in a coma due to carbon monoxide poisoning.

Bachrach is in Paris at the time working for an ad agency. She rushes back to the US. That's where the book begins.

Bachrach's memoir journeys back through her childhood with forced humorous tales of her upbringing by a mentally ill mother and an enabler father in lifelong deep denial. Her mother has plenty of demons and is periodically institutionalized. Nancy, her brother, and sister take on the guardianship of their mother after their father's demise.

I felt Bachrach at times overburdened her reader with too much philosophizing. Toward the end I appreciated the humor a bit more but at other times I felt that it was inappropriate, and the repetitive nature of some of the jokes, while perhaps with the intent of promoting familiarity with the reader, just flat-out got old.

I can't really recommend this book. I found Meg Federico's book of similar genre, "Welcome to the Departure Lounge" much more enjoyable.

[Jennafhur · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book on goodreads and it took me a while to start reading simply due to the fact that I was pissed off at FedEx for delivering it to a wrong house down the street, leaving it outside for a week where it was badly water damaged before picking it up and taking it to the right house. I decided not to raise hell over it as it was a gift after all, and still readable even though damaged pretty badly.

I found it to be an enjoyable read, very witty with a uniquely styled writing. One reviewer "felt Bachrach at times overburdened her reader with too much philosophizing". I completely disagree. That is exactly what held my interest and played an important part in her portrayal while bringing light to the darkness of what she has to share.

Although I don't agree that she falls along the lines of Sedaris and the like, I do believe that Bachrach will have her own fan following and recommend you give it a read. You can't knock it until you try it, right?

[Molly · Rating 3 out of 5]

What makes this memoir different from others of this niche (the my-mother-is-nutty--The Glass Castle, Swallow the Ocean, etc.) is the love that pervades the narrative. This isn't a book about how The Crazy was burdensome to the narrator, even if the narrator has every right to protest a string of strange sacrifices. Instead, it is, in some senses, about the ways in which Lola is loved--by her late husband, by her later half-life partners, and especially by her set of three (seemingly a bit manic themselves) children.

[Lynn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I sure hope my daughters never write a book like this about me. Of course, I am not bi-polar and I lead a pretty ho-hum existence - comparatively speaking- so perhaps that wouldn't be possible anyway. If one of them DID write it, however, I hope they would be as talented and funny, and have as strong and delightful a mastery of the English language as Nancy Bachrach has. (Though I certainly hope they would be more respectful of their parents!)

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am a big a fan as any of the "my family was crazy and somehow I came through it intact" school of memoir writing.. However, their was a lack of narrative cohesion that made this book good but not great. The characters including the author were not sympathetic which is normally not a deal breaker but with a memoir about crazy families you want to have at least one person to root for. All in all a good book but not amazing

[angspendlove · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just picked this up on my way out of town for something to read in the car. It was amusing in spots and nice to see the author's transformation in her perception of her mother. But this is the 3rd book I've read in a month that co-stars crappy, neglectful parents (Glass Castle and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn were the other two) so it's only getting two stars.

[Adele Stratton · Rating 3 out of 5]

This just didn’t capture me like similar memoirs often do. Bachrach’s mother had mental problems (bi-polar, as I recall) before surviving, albeit barely, an accidental carbon monoxide poisoning that killed her father. The mother surprised her physicians by slowly recovering. The tale was interesting. Bachrach’s humor, especially about her own job, just didn’t work for me.

[Joy H. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am currently enjoying this book. Nancy Bachrach is a witty wordsmith with a quirky way of looking at life with all of its ups and downs.

I finished reading this book today. It's a true, bittersweet story with an upbeat ending. I love the the wise words on the last page. A good read.

[Dee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lacerating, acerbic, and snarky memoir of the author's experiences with her mother, and by extension, her family. If you like reading about other people's crazy families, this is a good one to pick up at the library.

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think I have hit my limit on memoirs involving mothers with mental illness.

[Guenevere · Rating 3 out of 5]

As always, the memoir is a challenging format. Those that recall family dysfunction from the point of view of one in the midst of the events can be distant or tawdry, apologetic or defensive—each of which denies the reader a full view of the real situation. The Center of the Universe describes what it was like to grow up with a mother who was obviously extremely mentally ill, but also brilliant, funny, and as loving as her illness would allow.

Growing up in chaos has dramatic impact on children, and this memoir reflects a place that resonates; wherein one is truthful to themselves and others about the level of damage and dysfunction, but also mindful of the unique elements and creativity that such an environment often spawns. The author achieves a place of understanding rather than excusing in terms of her mother, and while the fact that this begins at an assumed deathbed at first seems trite, all is not as it seems, which pushes us into a full engagement with real life. The unflinching examination of her mother’s behavior, the honest acknowledgement of her anger, and her own conflicts about where the line between forgiveness and codependency fall reflect the desire to provide an honest portrayal of the life she was given. Obviously, the author’s choices are personal, and open to criticism, but where others may have made other choices, these are hers, and I respect her willingness to find and write about a place that works for her. 3.5 stars.

[Khalidah Kamal · Rating 3 out of 5]

MY BOOK REVIEW FOR
THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, BY NANCY BACHRACH

“Once upon a time, Lola had a sparkle in her eye with more facets than a diamond, and a brain with more complications than grandfather clock-even her grandfather’s clock. She was a twisted Rubik’s cube, unmalleable, solutionless, but she could calculate the odds of pairing up or straightening out faster than I could say “Anta up”. (Bachrach, 2009)

Nancy Bachrach’s memoir of growing up in the 50s or 60s with a very intelligent and charismatic but bipolar mother (Lola as the self-proclaimed “center of the universe”) and a sort of inept salesman handyman of a father ([Mort]referred his boat as Mr. Fix It)

I was in the mood for a moms-crazier-than-mine type of true account story so I chose this one since I am fascinated with the lives of people who have coped growing up in mentally ill families.

Instead, Nancy mostly recounts her memoir later on as an adult around her parents’ tragic boating accident after her parents were consumed with carbon monoxide poisoning as they slept in their cabin, killing their father and brain damaging their already bipolar mother into a coma that was later diagnosed Aspasia.

This memoir wasn’t what I expected because I expected to learn about her life growing up as a child mostly, but I read along and followed an adult Nancy to Paris as an ad exec trying to get the Parisians on a deodorant campaign and back to the Providence, United States where Nancy and her high achieving brother (Ben) and sister (Helen) aim to rehabilitate their mother after the accident.

At times, it was just mildly pleasant reading the kids’ devotion to their mother even after having to deal with the turmoil of growing up with a bipolar mother; then I felt acute annoyance with their intense devotion to someone whose disease made her so selfish growing up (father telling them that their mother had to take time off cuz of stress) and even after the accident their mother’s sickness black-holed all of Lola’s kids’ time and resources with her inability to function in life -- that I could see why their mother was rightly named the ‘center of the universe’.

I’m sure their mom was a dynamic woman in her own way and towards the end of the book the author conveys this clearly -- I, as a reader can only capture so much of a living person’s character.

“She was a boundless force of grandiose plans, an epidemic of reckless energy, and she used plenty of it to develop my talents. She was bother grain of sand and pearl. I marched to the beat of her bipolar drummer,-presto agitato or molto depressimo-and if occasionally there was a pause, an interval of tranquility, it was only intermission.” (Bachrach, 2009)

Obviously, Nancy is as intelligent and enterprising as her mother is but without the mania perhaps. I can definitely say I enjoyed Nancy’s analogies and the determined and humorous prose of her writing. Her words are lyrical to me and there is a cleverness to it that I enjoyed.

Other times, I think Nancy’s writing is annoyingly pretentious because she tends to drop little French or Latin word bombs that always seemed to me what someone does to distinguish themselves. And I understand that she speaks French fluently, and has had a job in Paris, but it is still annoying nonetheless.

Thankfully, Lola would slowly recover, and their kids smartly took upon themselves to file a lawsuit against the boat manufacturers who sold the boat to their dad although their never maintained the boat, although the boat was ten year old at the time her father purchased it.

“As a death machine, the Mr. Fix It has few peers. Mort got the more spectacular does, while Lola’s was diluted by sleeping near [a lingering draft from a leaky porthole,] which , like the bilge blower, had been repaired imperfectly.” This is why she survived. If Mort had done a better job caulking-if he’d successfully Mort-ified the porthole-then Lola would be dead now, too.” (Bachrach, 2009)

Proceeds from their mother’s lawsuit would finance a comfortable living at a really nice Florida retirement home in Florida where she would meet other boyfriends and play golf all day. I still don’t know how they won that case because their dad should not have been allowed to buy and maitain a boat much less fix a running toilet.

For me her dad was a less likeable because he was like a sexist know-it-all while she was growing up and even seemed to minimize Nancy.

I got a kick out of how Nancy imagined her father in the hearafter which reminds me of a Twilight Zone episode:

“Is there a special afterlife for hapless handymen? Some spot where everything is eternally unfixable, where glue won’t stick and staples won’t hold? If so, Mort is there, deactivated, his only tools the toy screwdriver Ben pitched into his grave and the frayed Mr. Fix It badge from Helen. In my father’s hearafter, spark plugs won’t spark, engines wheeze but won’t start, switches can’t be switched or rewired, and no more damage can be done.
May he rest in peace. (Bachrach, 2009)

There’s also interesting recounts about what life was like for her family during the early 20th Century when her famous rabbi grandfather got into trouble with the law along with their family’s struggles selling hooch during the Prohibition era.

As Nancy Bachrach’s first novel, this was very, very good. This was enjoyable and it speaks volumes on her intellect and disposition more than Lola, her mother almost, whom this memoir is about.

-Khalidah Kamal
July 26, 2013

[Megan Krone · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for the 2023 Book Riot Read Harder Challenge and just didn't finish in time. It's a very interesting story, and at points, I really liked the book. The tough part is that I found the narrator pretentious--and it's a memoir, so I guess I found the author pretentions, like she was leaning too hard into poetic language, using the story to show off, rather than letting the writing flow through. So, it was okay.

[Valerie Brett · Rating 4 out of 5]

This would have absolutely been 5 stars had two things happened: the writer gotten serious for even a moment about her own psychological damage/trauma following the events in the book, and more exploration/explanation given regarding handing over their mother—recently not even mentally there enough to be her own legal guardian—to a total stranger. I found those omissions both totally perplexing & distancing in what was otherwise a very candid book. Other than those two points, I thought this was a hilarious book (I laughed out loud many times) despite the fact that it was also a terribly sad story. The writer is so smart & talented she perfectly conveys those times when tragedy is so sad that it turns absurdly funny. I appreciate her family being willing to share their story, and found an odd solace (catharsis?) in it as well.

[Cheryl Bentley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I do love memoirs, especially ones that can mix in a little Wittgenstein and Descartes. And Bachrach's mother is certainly a worthy subject with her large (and probably bi-polar) personality. Growing up in such a household, colored by mental illness, must impart a special sort of resilience.

[Allison Dunlap · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was the title that caught my eye. I found this author's writing totally engaging. Her dry, sardonic wit was likely her only defense against the sheer craziness of her mother. many times I had to laugh out loud, otherwise this book would read like a tragedy.

[Kari Gibbs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nancy’s mom “Lola” has always been in the edge of sanity. All throughout Nancy’s life, “Lola” has been in and out of the electric chair – trying to get her shocked straight. Now, in her 50′s “Lola” has bigger problems. Her husband dies from carbon monoxide poisoning on their boat The Mr. Fix-It. That leaves “Lola” by herself, in a coma, with her grown children to take care of her. “Lola” wakes up, and like always, isn’t quite there. She doesn’t know how to change a light bulb when it burns out, she doesn’t understand that there is more milk in a container than can fit in her cup so it spills everywhere and she starts layering, but not in a good way. No one should ever wear 6+ pairs of panty hose at one time. Throughout the turn of events, Nancy finally feels like the daughter her mother never had. And miraculously, the mental instability seems to go as the carbon monoxide sets in.

I got The Center of the Universe from the Kelley and Hall Company. I haven’t really read a lot of memoirs, I am normally a fiction kind of girl, but I really enjoyed this book. Honestly, I think the reason I enjoyed it so much was that it doesn’t seem like it could be a realistic story. I know my childhood was pretty cookie cutter, but I still have a hard time grasping how some people grew up. I just can’t fathom having a mother who routinely was shocked to try to get the crazy out.

My grandmother had a stroke a year and a half ago, so I understand what Nancy and her siblings went through, trying to get their mother on the path to survival by herself. It’s definitely like starting over with a child, with high hopes that they’ll return to their old selves.

This book gave me a number of emotions. At times, I felt bad for Nancy and her siblings for going through this with their mother, in childhood and adulthood, I shed a tear or two as they worked to get her back up to par, I laughed my butt of at some of “Lola’s” antics. This book covered it all, heartbreak, love, suffering and the calm after the storm.

My dad works in the mental health field, so I am definitely going to pass this on to him (I get my reading obsession from him, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree). I think he’ll really enjoy it.

I give The Center of The Universe 4 bookmarks. While I thoroughly enjoyed most of the book, there were times I caught myself skimming when it came to the medical terminology. I really wanted to understand it, it just didn’t sink in.

Tags: Book Review, Books, kelley and hall company, memoir, nancy bachrach, reading, the center of the universe

[Amy]

When someone tells me that a book is nonfiction "but reads like fiction" my skeptic-meter goes way up. In this case, the story Nancy Bachrach tells flows easily across the pages, though it is not necessarily an easy read. It begins with a horrible accident -- carbon monoxide poisoning of her parents on their boat, which leaves her father dead, and her mother in a coma. The backstory of Nancy's childhood and family history is not any easier, riddled with mental illness, abuse, and what today would get the social workers to the front door for child endangerment. Yet it is told through good writing, by a daughter trying to understand her complex mother, and her equally complex relationship with that mother. The neruologica journey on which Nancy and her siblings embarked was chronicled quite well (my professional interested was engaged for this bit.) This is not an easy journey, and while there were some moments that I suppose someone could call "funny", to me they were more bittersweet, and not a humor that would make me laugh out loud. Still, I'm glad my friend recommended the book to me and I'm glad I read it. If you've got someone with bipolar diagnosis in your family, it might be tougher to read.

(PS this book got put aside in order for me to read two books that came in from publishers for review. That's the only reason it took so long to read.)

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

When reviewers say that a book is hard to read because of abuse or bad parenting or whatever, it makes me wonder what world they are living in. Are they not aware of what is going on in the world or are they wimps?
I found the author to be a bit snarky but that's who she is. I like a person who has good coping skills and doesn't play the "poor me, I'm a victim" card. If the story had not been a memoir I probably would have found Lola's "recovery" hard to believe as I am familiar with dementia and brain damage and was not expecting her to get any better. Very few people survive carbon monoxide poisoning so there is little information on it.
I liked that the author started to see her mom as a person worth loving. Her hard shell was cracked a bit and I think that she regretted her former attitude toward her mom.
One thing that I found humorous was that you have three professional, highly educated siblings and yet they have no idea how to deal with their mom. It was obvious that she couldn't take care of herself and yet they had no insight. They thought that they could train her.
I gave the book three stars because it was a true story and I got quite a few laughs out of it. You can't just see the tragic side of the situation, you have to embrace the humor too.

[morninglightmama · Rating 4 out of 5]

A memoir that can chronicle observations of a mentally ill mother and the subsequent different-than-average perspective on relationships and the world at large is a powerful thing, but one that can do it with a sublime sense of humor is remarkable. Bachrach's tone sometimes appears detached, while at other times is painfully entrenched in the emotional upheaval of the universe revolving around her mother, yet never falls into the realm of sorrow. One can almost see the smirk on her face as she presents this utterly incredible story of a wild family history that includes systemic abuse, mental illness, and more than its fair share of covering it all up, because it seems as if all they have left is the ability to have a few chuckles and wonder at it all, or else who knows where'd they be. A painful, yet so very funny, memoir that reminded me of the writing style of Augusten Burroughs-- leaving me shaking my head in amazement that people can survive experiences such as these.

[Lindsay Underwood · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although this is a pretty unbelievable true story (and medical miracle), I was bored most of the time. The most interesting parts of the book was during Lola's recovery. Unfortunately, the author mixed in completely unrelated stories of extended family to try to up the crazy family factor.