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How to Be Human: An Autistic Man's Guide to Life
An unforgettable, unconventional narrative that examines the many ways to be fully human, told by the first young adult with autism to attend Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar.
As a child, Jory Fleming was wracked by uncontrollable tantrums, had no tolerance for people, and couldn’t manage the outside world. Slightly more than a decade later, he was bound for England, selected to attend one of the world’s premier universities.
How to Be Human explores life amid a world constructed for neurotypical brains when yours is not. But the miracle of this book is that instead of dwelling on Jory’s limitations, those who inhabit the neurotypical world will begin to better understand their they will contemplate what language cannot say, how linear thinking leads to dead ends, and how nefarious emotions can be, particularly when, in Jory’s words, they are “weaponized.” Through a series of deep, personal conversations with writer Lyric Winik, Jory makes a compelling case for logical empathy based on rational thought, asks why we tolerate friends who see us as a means to an end, and explains why he believes personality is a choice. Most movingly, he discusses how, after many hardships, he maintains a deep, abiding “With people, I don’t understand what goes in and what comes out, and how to relate,” he says. “But I can always reconnect with my relationship with my Creator.”
Join Jory and Lyric as they examine what it means to be human and ultimately how each of us might become a better one. Jory asks us to Who has value? What is a disability? And how do we correct the imbalances we see in the world? How to Be Human shows us the ways a beautifully different mind can express the very best of our shared humanity.
As a child, Jory Fleming was wracked by uncontrollable tantrums, had no tolerance for people, and couldn’t manage the outside world. Slightly more than a decade later, he was bound for England, selected to attend one of the world’s premier universities.
How to Be Human explores life amid a world constructed for neurotypical brains when yours is not. But the miracle of this book is that instead of dwelling on Jory’s limitations, those who inhabit the neurotypical world will begin to better understand their they will contemplate what language cannot say, how linear thinking leads to dead ends, and how nefarious emotions can be, particularly when, in Jory’s words, they are “weaponized.” Through a series of deep, personal conversations with writer Lyric Winik, Jory makes a compelling case for logical empathy based on rational thought, asks why we tolerate friends who see us as a means to an end, and explains why he believes personality is a choice. Most movingly, he discusses how, after many hardships, he maintains a deep, abiding “With people, I don’t understand what goes in and what comes out, and how to relate,” he says. “But I can always reconnect with my relationship with my Creator.”
Join Jory and Lyric as they examine what it means to be human and ultimately how each of us might become a better one. Jory asks us to Who has value? What is a disability? And how do we correct the imbalances we see in the world? How to Be Human shows us the ways a beautifully different mind can express the very best of our shared humanity.
192 pages, Hardcover
Published April 20, 2021
193 people are currently reading
2234 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 152 reviews
June 13, 2022
"There's a lot of complexity that makes it difficult to try to pin down anything [about individuals with autism and their differences]. The one blanket statement that I can make about autism is that there IS no blanket statement to be made about autism." -- Jory Fleming, to author Lyric Winik, page 55
Basically an extended Q&A session - although that's not meant as a criticism - in print, the Winik / Fleming collaboration How to Be Human gives a reader some insight into the thought process and personality of a young man with autism. Fleming is a native of the southern U.S., raised by a single mom (and I think she certainly deserves some necessary plaudits), and eventually traveled 'across the pond' to graduate from Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar. As he noted in the quote I included above, those who have a place on the autism spectrum can vary greatly in terms of their abilities and experiences. Despite the phrase not appearing in the text (that I can remember), Fleming would be on the 'high-functioning' end of things. Over the course of 175 pages he explains how his mind or emotions work differently than 'typical' folks, speaks of the frustrating ills of cable news and social media in current society, and winningly describes his interaction method as 'ruthless optimism.' It bounced between the informative and the insightful, and was an interesting little book.
Basically an extended Q&A session - although that's not meant as a criticism - in print, the Winik / Fleming collaboration How to Be Human gives a reader some insight into the thought process and personality of a young man with autism. Fleming is a native of the southern U.S., raised by a single mom (and I think she certainly deserves some necessary plaudits), and eventually traveled 'across the pond' to graduate from Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar. As he noted in the quote I included above, those who have a place on the autism spectrum can vary greatly in terms of their abilities and experiences. Despite the phrase not appearing in the text (that I can remember), Fleming would be on the 'high-functioning' end of things. Over the course of 175 pages he explains how his mind or emotions work differently than 'typical' folks, speaks of the frustrating ills of cable news and social media in current society, and winningly describes his interaction method as 'ruthless optimism.' It bounced between the informative and the insightful, and was an interesting little book.
January 17, 2023
How to Be Human is an enlightening exploration of one man's life and how he perceives the world. Jory is autistic and I found his views on everything from politics to friendships fascinating.
Jory is a Rhodes Scholar, which is considered among the world's most prestigious international scholarship programs who study at the University of Oxford in the UK. For reference, in 2022, only 32 scholars were selected from 826 candidates. It's a prestigious scholarly group!
Most of this book is told in a rather basic Q&A format, which worked well. It allowed Jory to just tell his story. One story that amazed me was how he perceives emotions. He explains coming upon two opposing sides of protestors: "But it was very weird to me, because even though both sides were supposedly opposed, what I perceived was that they were all feeling the same things."
Another piece of information Jory talks about that I found enlightening is his awareness of interrupting others, but he explains that it's just how his brain works: "One of the problems I have in normal conversations or intellectual conversations is that sometimes I interject. It's because if I don't say it more or less immediately, I'm going to lose it, my mind can't hold on to the idea if it's forced to be translated into language. I can't think of what to say and listen at the same time, but that leads to interrupting, which is bad in conversations."
And then my favorite was his commentary on humor: "Some humor doesn't make sense. The whole bit about laughing at other people's apparent or real injuries is always confusing. Like the Looney Tunes-style where the coyote just got blown up with dynamite again. I'm like, What? It's so weird to me that it's culturally ingrained, that blowing up random animals with TNT is humorous."
Here's the wake up call we can ALL get behind: "I am confused as to why people follow celebrity figures and why their words become more powerful simply because of who they are and the fact that they are famous."
This is an excellent, worthy read for anyone who wants to understand more about one man's experience with autism (he points out that not all experiences are the same). I also enjoyed his lists sprinkled throughout like "words that don't make sense" and "10 things he likes/dislikes."
Jory is a Rhodes Scholar, which is considered among the world's most prestigious international scholarship programs who study at the University of Oxford in the UK. For reference, in 2022, only 32 scholars were selected from 826 candidates. It's a prestigious scholarly group!
Most of this book is told in a rather basic Q&A format, which worked well. It allowed Jory to just tell his story. One story that amazed me was how he perceives emotions. He explains coming upon two opposing sides of protestors: "But it was very weird to me, because even though both sides were supposedly opposed, what I perceived was that they were all feeling the same things."
Another piece of information Jory talks about that I found enlightening is his awareness of interrupting others, but he explains that it's just how his brain works: "One of the problems I have in normal conversations or intellectual conversations is that sometimes I interject. It's because if I don't say it more or less immediately, I'm going to lose it, my mind can't hold on to the idea if it's forced to be translated into language. I can't think of what to say and listen at the same time, but that leads to interrupting, which is bad in conversations."
And then my favorite was his commentary on humor: "Some humor doesn't make sense. The whole bit about laughing at other people's apparent or real injuries is always confusing. Like the Looney Tunes-style where the coyote just got blown up with dynamite again. I'm like, What? It's so weird to me that it's culturally ingrained, that blowing up random animals with TNT is humorous."
Here's the wake up call we can ALL get behind: "I am confused as to why people follow celebrity figures and why their words become more powerful simply because of who they are and the fact that they are famous."
This is an excellent, worthy read for anyone who wants to understand more about one man's experience with autism (he points out that not all experiences are the same). I also enjoyed his lists sprinkled throughout like "words that don't make sense" and "10 things he likes/dislikes."
May 19, 2021
“There are trees in Oxford that have been here for longer than the US has existed. But you also have all the flowers which are here one day and gone the next... Even if I don’t achieve the legacy of a tree, I can absolutely achieve the memorable joy of a flower.”
I was truly delighted while reading this book. It wasn’t what I had expected; I’d come looking for a traditional memoir with a clear, comprehensive narrative arc. What we have here is, rather, topically organized transcriptions drawn from many conversations Fleming had with Winik. The conversations are less focused on pinning down detailed memories from his life so much as they are seeking to see the world from his eyes. The overall effect is less like reading a memoir and more like sitting on a comfortable park bench with Fleming on a spring afternoon. It took me a little bit of reading to reset my expectations for the book, but I quickly fell in love with the style and pacing.
Fleming is incredibly generous with readers in explaining areas where he has observed that his thought process and perspective differ from neurotypical people. His words prompted me to think about a lot of things in new ways, and I was really intrigued by the way he describes his visual thinking process. He possesses a rare balance of being very wise while also being very humble. I also appreciated that Fleming was careful to emphasize that this book, and his experience, cannot be universalized. “The one blanket statement that I can make about autism is that there is no blanket statement to be made about autism.”
Finally, I love that his personality got to shine through. There were multiple remarks that made me laugh out loud (such as the passage where he describes everybody at The University of South Carolina telling him that his support dog, Daisy, reminds them of their own pets, regardless of what those pets are). As someone who has spent time with Jory as a friend, those parts really made me smile!
On the whole, I would recommend this book for folks who want a change of pace in their reading and are interested in different ways of seeing & being in the world. It was really good!
I was truly delighted while reading this book. It wasn’t what I had expected; I’d come looking for a traditional memoir with a clear, comprehensive narrative arc. What we have here is, rather, topically organized transcriptions drawn from many conversations Fleming had with Winik. The conversations are less focused on pinning down detailed memories from his life so much as they are seeking to see the world from his eyes. The overall effect is less like reading a memoir and more like sitting on a comfortable park bench with Fleming on a spring afternoon. It took me a little bit of reading to reset my expectations for the book, but I quickly fell in love with the style and pacing.
Fleming is incredibly generous with readers in explaining areas where he has observed that his thought process and perspective differ from neurotypical people. His words prompted me to think about a lot of things in new ways, and I was really intrigued by the way he describes his visual thinking process. He possesses a rare balance of being very wise while also being very humble. I also appreciated that Fleming was careful to emphasize that this book, and his experience, cannot be universalized. “The one blanket statement that I can make about autism is that there is no blanket statement to be made about autism.”
Finally, I love that his personality got to shine through. There were multiple remarks that made me laugh out loud (such as the passage where he describes everybody at The University of South Carolina telling him that his support dog, Daisy, reminds them of their own pets, regardless of what those pets are). As someone who has spent time with Jory as a friend, those parts really made me smile!
On the whole, I would recommend this book for folks who want a change of pace in their reading and are interested in different ways of seeing & being in the world. It was really good!
June 11, 2021
If I had to title this review, it would have to be the phrase I kept repeating to myself while listening...."Okay, Jory...."
My Mom saw the author on television and got me the print version of this book, but knowing myself and that I'd never read it, I went ahead and ordered the audiobook version for myself to listen on my commutes.
As Jory himself acknowledges, he's not an autism poster child nor does he want to be. It his his personal account of his life and experiences, prompted by a non-autistic interviewer. Jory's experience is authentically autistic, no question. But it is not MY autistic experience and I found Jory hard to relate to personally. I found myself much more in tune with Sarah Kurchak's autism memoir; her experiences which she chronicles are much more familiar and relatable to me.
I was slightly annoyed by Jory's self-styled Spock-like persona and neatly cleaving emotion from logic. I understand that's his perception and that's how his autism conditions him to see the world, but I don't think the world cleaves quite so neatly between these two the way Jory implies.
I just turned 50 and listening to a 20 year old pontificate on life advice and well...found myself pausing the disc multiple times to disagree. Aloud. In my car. (sigh).
It's a good book, just not a useful book for ME personally, who wasn't diagnosed until age 39.
My Mom saw the author on television and got me the print version of this book, but knowing myself and that I'd never read it, I went ahead and ordered the audiobook version for myself to listen on my commutes.
As Jory himself acknowledges, he's not an autism poster child nor does he want to be. It his his personal account of his life and experiences, prompted by a non-autistic interviewer. Jory's experience is authentically autistic, no question. But it is not MY autistic experience and I found Jory hard to relate to personally. I found myself much more in tune with Sarah Kurchak's autism memoir; her experiences which she chronicles are much more familiar and relatable to me.
I was slightly annoyed by Jory's self-styled Spock-like persona and neatly cleaving emotion from logic. I understand that's his perception and that's how his autism conditions him to see the world, but I don't think the world cleaves quite so neatly between these two the way Jory implies.
I just turned 50 and listening to a 20 year old pontificate on life advice and well...found myself pausing the disc multiple times to disagree. Aloud. In my car. (sigh).
It's a good book, just not a useful book for ME personally, who wasn't diagnosed until age 39.
January 24, 2024
“For someone like me, where I do face a lot of challenges as a result of not being able to order from the same menu as a neurotypical person, I still wouldn't choose to have a different menu after having lived with this one, and I am really appreciative of the way I think. Even if I had new opportunities, I feel like I’d lose as well. It’s not a win or win-win. It’s a loss, and I wouldn’t like the losses. Some of the benefits I wouldn't want to lose are not being easily influenced by emotions, and my memory. There are other benefits, like methods of thinning. I seem to have more visual thinking than other people, and that’s a benefit.”
Jory Fleming is autistic and also a Rhode Scholar. This book is not a “success” story of how Jory overcomes autism, but who Jory is because of autism. There is not much of what treatments Jory took or didn’t take, or how Jory’s mum felt. Jory was homeschooled by his mum since the third grade, and his learning and development improved afterwards. Large portion of the book are interviews between Jory and the interviewer Lyric Winik.
It’s fascinating to read about Jory’s thinking and learning style and how he interacts with people. From the conversations, one gets a glimpse into his brain wiring. What I find striking is that although he finds it difficult to think sequentially, he can distill and organize facts and knowledge into “Jory beads” and store them in his brain seemingly at random and retrieve them when needed. He has better visual thinking than a lot of neurotypical people.
Jory is a kind hearted person. He approaches without assumptions to people whom he does not yet know, a rare quality in the age of daily random vitriol spitted out by strangers on the Internet. He “chooses” his personality, which is to be an optimistic person.
Despite difficulty in language, especially in a social environment, fretting and other downsides, Jory would not want to be “cured”, because autism makes who he is.
Jory Fleming is autistic and also a Rhode Scholar. This book is not a “success” story of how Jory overcomes autism, but who Jory is because of autism. There is not much of what treatments Jory took or didn’t take, or how Jory’s mum felt. Jory was homeschooled by his mum since the third grade, and his learning and development improved afterwards. Large portion of the book are interviews between Jory and the interviewer Lyric Winik.
It’s fascinating to read about Jory’s thinking and learning style and how he interacts with people. From the conversations, one gets a glimpse into his brain wiring. What I find striking is that although he finds it difficult to think sequentially, he can distill and organize facts and knowledge into “Jory beads” and store them in his brain seemingly at random and retrieve them when needed. He has better visual thinking than a lot of neurotypical people.
Jory is a kind hearted person. He approaches without assumptions to people whom he does not yet know, a rare quality in the age of daily random vitriol spitted out by strangers on the Internet. He “chooses” his personality, which is to be an optimistic person.
Despite difficulty in language, especially in a social environment, fretting and other downsides, Jory would not want to be “cured”, because autism makes who he is.
February 28, 2021
Written in a question and answer interview style, this informative book will teach you much about how this particular person, Jory, with autism sees and interacts with the world. People who are non-Neurotypical are not all the same, but Jory gives us an in-depth look into his mind, emotions, and views from his unique perspective.
This book does not read like a story, there is no beginning, middle, and tightly tied up ending, but rather it serves to teach those who would like to learn more about autism. If that is what you were looking for, I would give this book a five, but if you were looking for more of a biographical type book, I would give it a three. That being said, I will settle on a four-star rating because this book definitely serves a purpose as an educational book on autism. I would also give a shout out to Jory, for being so patient, thorough, and articulate in trying to explain the way his mind works. He is a remarkable young man! Thank you to NetGalley for the advance read copy.
This book does not read like a story, there is no beginning, middle, and tightly tied up ending, but rather it serves to teach those who would like to learn more about autism. If that is what you were looking for, I would give this book a five, but if you were looking for more of a biographical type book, I would give it a three. That being said, I will settle on a four-star rating because this book definitely serves a purpose as an educational book on autism. I would also give a shout out to Jory, for being so patient, thorough, and articulate in trying to explain the way his mind works. He is a remarkable young man! Thank you to NetGalley for the advance read copy.
June 23, 2021
I recently saw Jory interviewed by Walter Isaacson on Amanpour & Co ( https://youtu.be/A6cfcCYe5w4 ) and was so interested in this young man’s way of looking at the world. Being autistic and graduating with a Masters Degree in Philosophy from Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar, Fleming beautifully describes how his brain works. He is not limited by linear thinking. He often doesn’t comprehend emotions but observes in others how emotions get in the way of progress and problem solving. He thinks beyond language and explains how language limits thoughts and ideas. I get it as I’m struggling to find words to convey how mind-expanding this book is and how much admiration I have for Jory Fleming. Yet, as impressive as his big ideas are, there are light and funny moments and he also lets us in on his likes - coffee, podcasts and birds …. and dislikes - malls, small talk and sugar free soda. Temple Grandin says “the world needs all types of minds” and I know the world so needs Jory Fleming. I listened to the audiobook which is written and read in interview form. Whether or not you have someone in your life on the autism spectrum, read this book!
May 15, 2021
While the author is admirable, the interview style didn't work for me.
July 25, 2021
“Living in a linear world will always warp my mind into a shape that it doesn't belong in.”
How to Be Human is jointly written by Jory Fleming and Lyric Winik his interviewer and editor. For the most part, it takes the Q&A format where Lyric presents a topic and Jory responds. There are segments written by Lyric to provide supplementary details about Jory’s early years, his diagnosis, and current research on autism. But mostly, it’s Jory and his thoughts.
The topics are diverse: language barriers, living as an autistic thinker, the world as a sensorium, socialisation in manmade environments, the meaning of friendship, faith and prayer, and his assistant dog, Daisy. Even more astounding is the way he connects them––like overlapping shadows of trees—shifting, merging, breaking apart, and merging again.
The book isn’t long or difficult. It’s 192 pages of conversations. But it’s the type of book that provokes you to question things you don’t usually have time to muse on. Unless your full-time job is philosophic orator in the Ancient Greek agora. It’s the kind of book that makes you feel like you can tune in for the interesting bits, take a break and come back, and the discussion is still as lively as ever."
How to Be Human is jointly written by Jory Fleming and Lyric Winik his interviewer and editor. For the most part, it takes the Q&A format where Lyric presents a topic and Jory responds. There are segments written by Lyric to provide supplementary details about Jory’s early years, his diagnosis, and current research on autism. But mostly, it’s Jory and his thoughts.
The topics are diverse: language barriers, living as an autistic thinker, the world as a sensorium, socialisation in manmade environments, the meaning of friendship, faith and prayer, and his assistant dog, Daisy. Even more astounding is the way he connects them––like overlapping shadows of trees—shifting, merging, breaking apart, and merging again.
The book isn’t long or difficult. It’s 192 pages of conversations. But it’s the type of book that provokes you to question things you don’t usually have time to muse on. Unless your full-time job is philosophic orator in the Ancient Greek agora. It’s the kind of book that makes you feel like you can tune in for the interesting bits, take a break and come back, and the discussion is still as lively as ever."
May 12, 2021
In How to Be Human Jory Fleming, a young man with autism, tells us how he perceives and navigates through a world "not set up" for people like him.
Some background on Jory Fleming - his life so far has contained both difficulties and impressive achievement. As a six week old infant Jory suffered kidney failure and meningitis. He later demonstrated developmental issues, and was diagnosed with autism in preschool. He also suffers from mitochondiral disease, which means he requires a feeding tube for essential nutrition his body cannot take in otherwise. However, with homeschooling by his mother, Jory began to progress, so much so that he was able to go to college in South Carolina, and then became the first person with autism to get a Rhodes Scholarship. He recently obtained his Masters in Philosophy from Oxford.
The book is structured in a question and answer format with collaborator Lyric Winik. We learn about how Jory's brain works, differently than that of a nuerotypical person. He also makes the point that his experience is not necessarily representative of others with autism, as autism is a spectrum and tends to be pretty individualized. I found the book to be a very interesting view into another type of mind, with a different way of interacting with the world.
In the final chapter the book explores Jory's Philosophy of Life and addresses the title topic of How to be Human. Jory's discussion of the importance of having a positive impact on the world, and his metaphor of the short-lived flower and the long-lived tree was particularly beautiful.
I give How to Be Human 3 Stars ⭐⭐⭐ - I liked it. If you have a person with autism in your life or are curious about how autism can impact a person's perception of the world, this is a worthwhile read.
Some background on Jory Fleming - his life so far has contained both difficulties and impressive achievement. As a six week old infant Jory suffered kidney failure and meningitis. He later demonstrated developmental issues, and was diagnosed with autism in preschool. He also suffers from mitochondiral disease, which means he requires a feeding tube for essential nutrition his body cannot take in otherwise. However, with homeschooling by his mother, Jory began to progress, so much so that he was able to go to college in South Carolina, and then became the first person with autism to get a Rhodes Scholarship. He recently obtained his Masters in Philosophy from Oxford.
The book is structured in a question and answer format with collaborator Lyric Winik. We learn about how Jory's brain works, differently than that of a nuerotypical person. He also makes the point that his experience is not necessarily representative of others with autism, as autism is a spectrum and tends to be pretty individualized. I found the book to be a very interesting view into another type of mind, with a different way of interacting with the world.
In the final chapter the book explores Jory's Philosophy of Life and addresses the title topic of How to be Human. Jory's discussion of the importance of having a positive impact on the world, and his metaphor of the short-lived flower and the long-lived tree was particularly beautiful.
I give How to Be Human 3 Stars ⭐⭐⭐ - I liked it. If you have a person with autism in your life or are curious about how autism can impact a person's perception of the world, this is a worthwhile read.
November 24, 2023
Maybe as another autistic man this book was not made for me.
I can't see the reason for this book's existence. As mentioned at times in the book every autistic person's experience is different so as a guide or for understanding it only applies to the individual. Jory also is in no way an expert on autism; his study is in philosophy so he can't even provide an academic angle.
Even though Jory mentioned he does not want to be a role model the entire idea of this book's existence suggests his accomplishments are exceptional and it is not something the average person with autism could achieve.
The book also seems to ignore some major issues. While Jory may not be emotional and is able to choose how he feels, that is not the case for most autistic people shown by the higher reported rates of depression and loneliness. He also mentions his luck at being home schooled and having a supportive family, so perhaps that is why masking for him is only about stimming. For most going through employment or with worse support systems many must mask any aspects that could 'out' their autism in order to keep their job, or even for safety.
Although autism is underrepresented, Jory falls into the most represented group of autistic people - being a relatively well off, white man, while people of colour and people other than men are often underdiagnosed or even not believed to be able to have autism. Perhaps a person from another background would be able to provide some insight that isn't as available and could be of more use.
Throughout the book the authors present it as if there are only neurotypical people or autistic people. This neglects the fact that there are many conditions i.e. ADHD & dyspraxia which would also classify someone as neurodivergent. These can even coincide or overlap with autism, but the book seems to put everyone in the binary of autistic or not.
Lyric Winik at times adds some scientific insights however, a lot of it is from fields of study that are relatively new or that the reader may not be experienced in. These passing remarks, not given any significant time, add nothing or even cause confusion.
Finally, I feel the chapter regarding Jory's faith, and the mentions of it, add nothing. How people experience faith is so unique to the individual; just being autistic does not make his take any more or less valuable
I have nothing but respect for both the authors, and this book has some insights of value, however I do not think that this was the best way to present them.
I can't see the reason for this book's existence. As mentioned at times in the book every autistic person's experience is different so as a guide or for understanding it only applies to the individual. Jory also is in no way an expert on autism; his study is in philosophy so he can't even provide an academic angle.
Even though Jory mentioned he does not want to be a role model the entire idea of this book's existence suggests his accomplishments are exceptional and it is not something the average person with autism could achieve.
The book also seems to ignore some major issues. While Jory may not be emotional and is able to choose how he feels, that is not the case for most autistic people shown by the higher reported rates of depression and loneliness. He also mentions his luck at being home schooled and having a supportive family, so perhaps that is why masking for him is only about stimming. For most going through employment or with worse support systems many must mask any aspects that could 'out' their autism in order to keep their job, or even for safety.
Although autism is underrepresented, Jory falls into the most represented group of autistic people - being a relatively well off, white man, while people of colour and people other than men are often underdiagnosed or even not believed to be able to have autism. Perhaps a person from another background would be able to provide some insight that isn't as available and could be of more use.
Throughout the book the authors present it as if there are only neurotypical people or autistic people. This neglects the fact that there are many conditions i.e. ADHD & dyspraxia which would also classify someone as neurodivergent. These can even coincide or overlap with autism, but the book seems to put everyone in the binary of autistic or not.
Lyric Winik at times adds some scientific insights however, a lot of it is from fields of study that are relatively new or that the reader may not be experienced in. These passing remarks, not given any significant time, add nothing or even cause confusion.
Finally, I feel the chapter regarding Jory's faith, and the mentions of it, add nothing. How people experience faith is so unique to the individual; just being autistic does not make his take any more or less valuable
I have nothing but respect for both the authors, and this book has some insights of value, however I do not think that this was the best way to present them.
July 28, 2021
I've been doing a neurodiversity training program at work, to be eligible to hire and effectively manage a neurodivergent person. I added this book to that training regimen, and was pleased with what it added to my understanding. Crucially, it gave me insights into how to shape interactions, instructions, and expectations for the ways that a neurodivergent person might see them, and better understand them, now that I have a better understanding of (in particular) the language translation process that may be involved. I now know to offer instructions in a non-linear way, and to phrase the same thing in several different ways to improve the chances of understanding.
An unexpected benefit was in seeing parts of myself in the way that Jory described his thought processes. "Hey! I think about things that way too!" was a frequent realization. Reading Jory's story triggered just enough shared experience to make me confident that I could adapt my management processes to help a neurodivergent person be productive and happy in their work, and that has really inspired me.
An unexpected benefit was in seeing parts of myself in the way that Jory described his thought processes. "Hey! I think about things that way too!" was a frequent realization. Reading Jory's story triggered just enough shared experience to make me confident that I could adapt my management processes to help a neurodivergent person be productive and happy in their work, and that has really inspired me.
December 22, 2021
took some getting used to, but by the end LOVED how this book was organized - felt like i was sharing a meal with jory as he explained the world to me through his eyes
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“there are trees in oxford that have been here for longer than the us existed. but you also have all the flowers which are here one day and gone the next…even if i don’t achieve the legacy of a tree, i can absolutely achieve the memorable joy of a flower, where i can try my best to have positive interactions with people”
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reoriented and challenged my understanding of emotions, communication, relationships, and how to be human
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“there are trees in oxford that have been here for longer than the us existed. but you also have all the flowers which are here one day and gone the next…even if i don’t achieve the legacy of a tree, i can absolutely achieve the memorable joy of a flower, where i can try my best to have positive interactions with people”
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reoriented and challenged my understanding of emotions, communication, relationships, and how to be human
June 18, 2023
So beautifully written. Jory’s story opened my eyes to how individuals with autism perceive the world around them, especially regarding language and communication. I highly recommend, especially to fellow speech pathologists who have patients on the autism spectrum. You will feel motivated to become a better person, and clinician.
March 27, 2023
Finally finished this one after two months of having one chapter left. Definitely a good read to gain some perspective on neurodivergent ways of thinking.
March 16, 2024
I enjoyed hearing about Jory’s experience as a person with autism, and I came away from reading this book with a respect for his depth of thinking and for him as a person. As a book, however, I don’t think How to Be Human reaches its full potential. Its effectiveness is dulled by the fact that it is written primarily for a neurotypical audience. It’s funny to me that Jory himself says his autism is not the “most important thing” about himself (153) or always at the forefront of his mind, yet this book is centered around his autism. Is autism the most interesting thing about him, or is it just the most marketable thing about him for people that don’t have it? It obviously shapes his thinking and the way he interacts with the world/other people, but it doesn’t seem like the best topic to predicate the book (which is, by the way, somewhat incorrectly described as his memoir) on. He’s clearly a thoughtful and deeply empathetic man with interesting insights, ideas, and questions. Instead of allowing him to elaborate on those, the book feels stuck in its original intended structure – a book about an interesting man who has autism – instead of evolving with the conversation to become a book about an interesting man, who also has autism. It starts with Jory’s autism first and comments on everything else about him second, which I think is a backwards approach.
———-
The interview format introduces an inherent flaw into how Jory’s story (ha! that rhymes) is presented. I understand that having a “translator,” so to speak, is practical because Jory does not think in words and language and that it benefits him to have someone else process the information he provides. The downside of this, which I believe showed through in the book, is that Jory’s thoughts and Jory himself are filtered down through a neurotypical perspective. He is condensed into something readable and digestible for a specific subset of people: neurotypical people who rely on language to communicate. Even the questions asked seem to constrict Jory and force him to frame things in a “neurotypical” way. A huge question I have is: if Jory thinks visually and struggles with words and language, why would you ask him to describe his visual thinking in words and language? Why not ask him to draw or reference pictures/graphs/maps? There is one figure where Lyric asks Jory to draw a “map” of his mind. He does this, but then he has to explain it in words. After that, there are no more pictures, only word-heavy descriptions. I felt that what I was visualizing based on those words was something completely different from him, which doesn’t give me any insight into who he is or how he thinks. If his visual thinking had actually been visual, it may have limited the number of incorrect interpretations I could’ve made and reduced my confusion as a reader. You can tell he struggles to communicate this way, and it is a bit frustrating to read. Although the struggle to communicate is a necessary condition of him being able to share his story with a wider audience, I feel that the book’s structure causes him to accommodate neurotypical people more strenuously than necessary. Ironically, I really understood Jory’s point about the awful limitation of language through reading this book.
———-
I realize my disappointment probably stems from my incorrect expectations of this book. I failed to catch the text on the inside book jacket that says, “Those who inhabit the neurotypical world will begin to better understand their own [limitations]” – implying that this book is largely for neurotypical readers. I thought that this book was for readers with autism who want to learn about other people’s experiences with autism. The title is also a bit misleading, and I wonder who proposed it. I wasn’t expecting a literal how-to manual (like that facilitation manual Jory references), but the disconnect between this catchy title and the actual content of the book ties into my larger reservation about this book: that it is for neurotypical people.
———-
Last (and some will disagree with me on this), I think there is a slight perpetuation of the “autistic savant” stereotype throughout the book that is both distracting and counterproductive. I think many neurotypical people have a well-intentioned curiosity about how neurodivergent people think, based on an assumption that their way of thinking is a) super different or extraordinary from neurotypicals, or b) the same as other neurodivergent people. They want to learn more about other people’s experiences and perspectives, and I respect that. However, I think sometimes this type of thinking can become simply another version of the “autistic savant” ideal. For instance, the interviewer says something about his ideas about cultural differences (that why they exist/change how people interact with each other confuses him) being “refreshing,” and he says, “You may find my perspective on culture to be refreshing because it’s different… but I also hope nobody thinks my perspective is particularly valuable just because it’s different. I hope people see it, think about it, compare it back and forth, and get more nuanced about it.” Jory is aware that “there are both good and bad things that come with any perspective” (41), but the book seems to forget that sometimes. He’s right: he has a different perspective, but it’s just one perspective to build off of. It goes back to my question, why do most of the conversations start with Jory’s autism first, rather than with Jory himself? To him, his valuable perspective is just one of many other valuable perspectives. Shouldn’t readers be prompted to see him the way he sees himself? I agree with Jory when he says (about speculation on whether certain accomplished individuals are on the spectrum, with Nikola Tesla as an example), “I don’t particularly know why anybody would be overly concerned about that. To me, Tesla’s scientific accomplishments are interesting, but I wouldn’t be interested in whether he did or didn’t have autism. Same with everyone else. I might glance at it, but that’s all.” If Jory himself doesn’t build his understanding of people around their differences, then why does the book keep on prompting us to build our understanding of him around his differences? It’s absolutely necessary to discuss and celebrate differences, including autism, as well as to recognize the very real challenges that some of those differences can present. But when every conversation starts with autism first and the person second, that works against the shared humanity and perspective those conversations are trying to cultivate.
———-
In the end, I really enjoyed reading Jory’s insights and learning more about him. I’m grateful that this book exists, and it gave me perspective about him as a person. I always like hearing about how others think and operate, and hearing from Jory was no exception. Also, huge shoutout to Lyric, because as she mentions in the beginning even amassing the information in this book through many conversations with Jory was not a small feat. She does a great job of identifying important themes and helping Jory expand on them, as well as stitching everything together. I’m sure most of this book was composed by Lyric pulling three sentences from one conversation, and two sentences from another, etc. I think there are some inherent flaws in the book’s structure but overall, I enjoyed it and give it 4 stars out of 5.
Other thoughts:
1) I deliberately did not factor how much I do or don’t resonate with his experience into my rating, because he speaks only for himself and often reminds readers of that. As he says, there is no blanket statement to be made about autism and no two autistic people’s experiences are the same. Also, it feels weird to give an actual rating to someone’s life story; usually when I review an auto/biography I comment only on the writing and structure.
2) I found it difficult to understand Jory’s visual thinking descriptions, but in the way I usually find it difficult to understand anyone else’s particular brand of thinking. Interestingly, his illustrations related to intellectual topics, such as the orange polluted stream to comment on the odd difference between society’s outrage to issues with localized impact versus issues with larger systemic impact, made perfect sense to me.
3) Jory mentions a “social contract” that neurotypical people seem to be innately in tune with, that he feels he doesn’t understand. I wonder if the aspects of the neurotypical experience that he perceives as true are actually true, like if abiding by an unspoken social contract is as universally intrinsic as he believes?
4) He mentions that there are probably many people in the workplace who have autism but are not diagnosed or simply don’t mention it. I think that this is an extremely important point to note (especially since how autism presents in adults is more nuanced than in children who are diagnosed early) and this is part of a larger conversation about how wide the spectrum is and how it presents differently in different people.
5) Sometimes it feels like the book tries too hard to allocate discrete aspects of who he is to his autism, which frustrates me. There is no place where Jory’s autism ends and Jory starts. He’s only ever been autistic. Yet, it felt like a lot of questions asked were along the lines of, “How does your autism affect this or that aspect of who you are?” when he has no real basis for how to answer that question. He can’t truly compare his experience to a neurotypical one. He just is. I’d also guess that Jory rarely thinks about those questions on his own. I don’t get why he’s being asked to think about it, because it doesn’t add value for him.
Quote(s) I liked:
"I've always been of the mind that opinions are only useful if you're willing to change them very rapidly. In a lot of cases, people think that means you have no values. But that's just people confusing values and opinions." (170).
———-
The interview format introduces an inherent flaw into how Jory’s story (ha! that rhymes) is presented. I understand that having a “translator,” so to speak, is practical because Jory does not think in words and language and that it benefits him to have someone else process the information he provides. The downside of this, which I believe showed through in the book, is that Jory’s thoughts and Jory himself are filtered down through a neurotypical perspective. He is condensed into something readable and digestible for a specific subset of people: neurotypical people who rely on language to communicate. Even the questions asked seem to constrict Jory and force him to frame things in a “neurotypical” way. A huge question I have is: if Jory thinks visually and struggles with words and language, why would you ask him to describe his visual thinking in words and language? Why not ask him to draw or reference pictures/graphs/maps? There is one figure where Lyric asks Jory to draw a “map” of his mind. He does this, but then he has to explain it in words. After that, there are no more pictures, only word-heavy descriptions. I felt that what I was visualizing based on those words was something completely different from him, which doesn’t give me any insight into who he is or how he thinks. If his visual thinking had actually been visual, it may have limited the number of incorrect interpretations I could’ve made and reduced my confusion as a reader. You can tell he struggles to communicate this way, and it is a bit frustrating to read. Although the struggle to communicate is a necessary condition of him being able to share his story with a wider audience, I feel that the book’s structure causes him to accommodate neurotypical people more strenuously than necessary. Ironically, I really understood Jory’s point about the awful limitation of language through reading this book.
———-
I realize my disappointment probably stems from my incorrect expectations of this book. I failed to catch the text on the inside book jacket that says, “Those who inhabit the neurotypical world will begin to better understand their own [limitations]” – implying that this book is largely for neurotypical readers. I thought that this book was for readers with autism who want to learn about other people’s experiences with autism. The title is also a bit misleading, and I wonder who proposed it. I wasn’t expecting a literal how-to manual (like that facilitation manual Jory references), but the disconnect between this catchy title and the actual content of the book ties into my larger reservation about this book: that it is for neurotypical people.
———-
Last (and some will disagree with me on this), I think there is a slight perpetuation of the “autistic savant” stereotype throughout the book that is both distracting and counterproductive. I think many neurotypical people have a well-intentioned curiosity about how neurodivergent people think, based on an assumption that their way of thinking is a) super different or extraordinary from neurotypicals, or b) the same as other neurodivergent people. They want to learn more about other people’s experiences and perspectives, and I respect that. However, I think sometimes this type of thinking can become simply another version of the “autistic savant” ideal. For instance, the interviewer says something about his ideas about cultural differences (that why they exist/change how people interact with each other confuses him) being “refreshing,” and he says, “You may find my perspective on culture to be refreshing because it’s different… but I also hope nobody thinks my perspective is particularly valuable just because it’s different. I hope people see it, think about it, compare it back and forth, and get more nuanced about it.” Jory is aware that “there are both good and bad things that come with any perspective” (41), but the book seems to forget that sometimes. He’s right: he has a different perspective, but it’s just one perspective to build off of. It goes back to my question, why do most of the conversations start with Jory’s autism first, rather than with Jory himself? To him, his valuable perspective is just one of many other valuable perspectives. Shouldn’t readers be prompted to see him the way he sees himself? I agree with Jory when he says (about speculation on whether certain accomplished individuals are on the spectrum, with Nikola Tesla as an example), “I don’t particularly know why anybody would be overly concerned about that. To me, Tesla’s scientific accomplishments are interesting, but I wouldn’t be interested in whether he did or didn’t have autism. Same with everyone else. I might glance at it, but that’s all.” If Jory himself doesn’t build his understanding of people around their differences, then why does the book keep on prompting us to build our understanding of him around his differences? It’s absolutely necessary to discuss and celebrate differences, including autism, as well as to recognize the very real challenges that some of those differences can present. But when every conversation starts with autism first and the person second, that works against the shared humanity and perspective those conversations are trying to cultivate.
———-
In the end, I really enjoyed reading Jory’s insights and learning more about him. I’m grateful that this book exists, and it gave me perspective about him as a person. I always like hearing about how others think and operate, and hearing from Jory was no exception. Also, huge shoutout to Lyric, because as she mentions in the beginning even amassing the information in this book through many conversations with Jory was not a small feat. She does a great job of identifying important themes and helping Jory expand on them, as well as stitching everything together. I’m sure most of this book was composed by Lyric pulling three sentences from one conversation, and two sentences from another, etc. I think there are some inherent flaws in the book’s structure but overall, I enjoyed it and give it 4 stars out of 5.
Other thoughts:
1) I deliberately did not factor how much I do or don’t resonate with his experience into my rating, because he speaks only for himself and often reminds readers of that. As he says, there is no blanket statement to be made about autism and no two autistic people’s experiences are the same. Also, it feels weird to give an actual rating to someone’s life story; usually when I review an auto/biography I comment only on the writing and structure.
2) I found it difficult to understand Jory’s visual thinking descriptions, but in the way I usually find it difficult to understand anyone else’s particular brand of thinking. Interestingly, his illustrations related to intellectual topics, such as the orange polluted stream to comment on the odd difference between society’s outrage to issues with localized impact versus issues with larger systemic impact, made perfect sense to me.
3) Jory mentions a “social contract” that neurotypical people seem to be innately in tune with, that he feels he doesn’t understand. I wonder if the aspects of the neurotypical experience that he perceives as true are actually true, like if abiding by an unspoken social contract is as universally intrinsic as he believes?
4) He mentions that there are probably many people in the workplace who have autism but are not diagnosed or simply don’t mention it. I think that this is an extremely important point to note (especially since how autism presents in adults is more nuanced than in children who are diagnosed early) and this is part of a larger conversation about how wide the spectrum is and how it presents differently in different people.
5) Sometimes it feels like the book tries too hard to allocate discrete aspects of who he is to his autism, which frustrates me. There is no place where Jory’s autism ends and Jory starts. He’s only ever been autistic. Yet, it felt like a lot of questions asked were along the lines of, “How does your autism affect this or that aspect of who you are?” when he has no real basis for how to answer that question. He can’t truly compare his experience to a neurotypical one. He just is. I’d also guess that Jory rarely thinks about those questions on his own. I don’t get why he’s being asked to think about it, because it doesn’t add value for him.
Quote(s) I liked:
"I've always been of the mind that opinions are only useful if you're willing to change them very rapidly. In a lot of cases, people think that means you have no values. But that's just people confusing values and opinions." (170).
December 18, 2021
Recently I wrote a poem inspired by the 2021 book How to be Human by Jory Fleming and Lyric Wiiik. I wasn't even halfway through the book. It inspired me so much because it's an intimate interview with a very thoughtful, young, autistic guy and he's not even who is a savant. Jory will tell you he's very typical of people on the autism spectrum, but I think he's kind of special.
Though it started out with the intention of being Jory's memoir, Winik soon realized that the book could be much more. It could be an engaging, insightful guide to being human from the perspective of a man who calls himself a ruthless optimist, which is his personality of choice.
Yes, personality can be a choice, according to Jory. As an autistic person he needs to constantly evaluate his thoughts, feelings, words, and actions as well as the person's words and actions.
It's so mentally draining that he could naturally slip into typical autistic behavior and a monotone voice, but he's taught himself to be self-aware and will either catch himself or his Mom or friends will. These typical movements make an autistic person look like they're stressed out or nervous, but it could be as likely that they're just concentrating hard on something and don't have the energy to be self-aware. Jory says it's just how his challenged brain works.
There's so much I learned about how an autistic person thinks and how difficult it is for them to communicate, to interact, to trust. It's not true that they have no emotions, but emotions are unimportant distractions to them, too confusing.
Jory received a Master's degree in philosophy as a Rhodes scholar at Oxford.
When I wrote that poem I understood that Jory believed that autism was not a disability for him and he wouldn't wish to actually be 'neurotypical' as he calls us without autism.
This is because he finds we are too emotional and not logical enough. He also thinks we think too much about things instead of acting on our social problems like climate change and world peace. The last chapter is about his one easy relationship, which is with his god/creator. He criticizes ideologies without recognizing that religion is one.
It's a fascinating read for the most part. Jory could laugh at himself and tell stories from his life to give us a better idea of what he's trying to explain. I really enjoyed the lists he made upon request of things he likes and dislikes. Some surprised me, like not enjoying music much and hating small talk.
If you want to understand autistic people, this book is a great place to start!
My following poem may help a bit too. Enjoy!
How To Be Human
`
is there a way to be human
is there a right and wrong way, hey
must we think in a black line
and ne'er in gray?
Just why do we think?
Why even talk to ourselves, hey
Isn't it emotions that rule us,
and compel what we say?
What makes a person disabled
have we asked what they think, hey
imagine what we could feel
about our human story.
They may differ from us
but they're still wholly human, hey
we all answer the question
of how we can be.
In this our holiday time
let's feel more than we think, hey
I hope it may open our eyes
to a real person we'll see.
Though it started out with the intention of being Jory's memoir, Winik soon realized that the book could be much more. It could be an engaging, insightful guide to being human from the perspective of a man who calls himself a ruthless optimist, which is his personality of choice.
Yes, personality can be a choice, according to Jory. As an autistic person he needs to constantly evaluate his thoughts, feelings, words, and actions as well as the person's words and actions.
It's so mentally draining that he could naturally slip into typical autistic behavior and a monotone voice, but he's taught himself to be self-aware and will either catch himself or his Mom or friends will. These typical movements make an autistic person look like they're stressed out or nervous, but it could be as likely that they're just concentrating hard on something and don't have the energy to be self-aware. Jory says it's just how his challenged brain works.
There's so much I learned about how an autistic person thinks and how difficult it is for them to communicate, to interact, to trust. It's not true that they have no emotions, but emotions are unimportant distractions to them, too confusing.
Jory received a Master's degree in philosophy as a Rhodes scholar at Oxford.
When I wrote that poem I understood that Jory believed that autism was not a disability for him and he wouldn't wish to actually be 'neurotypical' as he calls us without autism.
This is because he finds we are too emotional and not logical enough. He also thinks we think too much about things instead of acting on our social problems like climate change and world peace. The last chapter is about his one easy relationship, which is with his god/creator. He criticizes ideologies without recognizing that religion is one.
It's a fascinating read for the most part. Jory could laugh at himself and tell stories from his life to give us a better idea of what he's trying to explain. I really enjoyed the lists he made upon request of things he likes and dislikes. Some surprised me, like not enjoying music much and hating small talk.
If you want to understand autistic people, this book is a great place to start!
My following poem may help a bit too. Enjoy!
How To Be Human
`
is there a way to be human
is there a right and wrong way, hey
must we think in a black line
and ne'er in gray?
Just why do we think?
Why even talk to ourselves, hey
Isn't it emotions that rule us,
and compel what we say?
What makes a person disabled
have we asked what they think, hey
imagine what we could feel
about our human story.
They may differ from us
but they're still wholly human, hey
we all answer the question
of how we can be.
In this our holiday time
let's feel more than we think, hey
I hope it may open our eyes
to a real person we'll see.
July 24, 2021
The best part for me was at the end regarding FAITH, page 162: "Something that really speaks to me personally is the Christian message. In terms of language, I feel almost like God thought of this in my case. Because the message is just one word. LOVE. You know. Straight from Jesus. Which is great, because how awesome is it that you only need one word to get the message? . . . I'm like, Aha! Fewer words is a good thing. For somebody with autism, I very much appreciate that really there's only one word that's at the core."
Found it interesting on page 55 when he spoke about the Netflix show, Atypical--which I did watch, and his comment: "That Netflix show took a person's struggle and had all the stereotypes of autism causing problems, where because of these stereotypes, the lead actor couldn't seem to do what other people did. All autistic people are like this. Autism is far more than a collection of outward differences. The one blanket statement that I can make about autism is that there is no blanket statement to be made about autism."
Further, pages 127-128, he spoke to a book he recalls, A CHILD'S HISTORY OF THE WORLD, which by reading it he got the idea that facts, when put together with other facts, can be really, really interesting. After that, he subconsciously decided to acquire loads of facts, and that stuck with him--a desire to know more things. The more he learned about things, the more he discovered what he didn't know . . "
Lastly, page 143/144--"When you blink, do you see black?" Jory replies: "Apparently about an hour of every waking day goes by in literal blinks, and your brain just stiches things together and you never recognize the absence of what you don't see while you blink. But I see the black space when I blink, and if I miss anything because I blinked, I'm like what are you talking about? It's annoying. I go through that all the time. I can't just turn it off."
Jory received a Master of Philosophy at Harvard as a Rhodes Scholar. He also has a B.S. degree from the University of South Caroling. I initially spotted this book out of the WSJ. Nice meeting you Jory!
Found it interesting on page 55 when he spoke about the Netflix show, Atypical--which I did watch, and his comment: "That Netflix show took a person's struggle and had all the stereotypes of autism causing problems, where because of these stereotypes, the lead actor couldn't seem to do what other people did. All autistic people are like this. Autism is far more than a collection of outward differences. The one blanket statement that I can make about autism is that there is no blanket statement to be made about autism."
Further, pages 127-128, he spoke to a book he recalls, A CHILD'S HISTORY OF THE WORLD, which by reading it he got the idea that facts, when put together with other facts, can be really, really interesting. After that, he subconsciously decided to acquire loads of facts, and that stuck with him--a desire to know more things. The more he learned about things, the more he discovered what he didn't know . . "
Lastly, page 143/144--"When you blink, do you see black?" Jory replies: "Apparently about an hour of every waking day goes by in literal blinks, and your brain just stiches things together and you never recognize the absence of what you don't see while you blink. But I see the black space when I blink, and if I miss anything because I blinked, I'm like what are you talking about? It's annoying. I go through that all the time. I can't just turn it off."
Jory received a Master of Philosophy at Harvard as a Rhodes Scholar. He also has a B.S. degree from the University of South Caroling. I initially spotted this book out of the WSJ. Nice meeting you Jory!
May 5, 2022
I am lucky to call Jory a classmate, and have fond memories of our shared time at the University of South Carolina. Seeing Jory and Daisy in class and around campus always used to bring a smile to my face. Having just finished How to be Human, I’m reminded of his self-described ruthless optimism, and feeling grateful that he has chosen to share his view of the world through this book.
Of all the things Jory shared, this statement struck me as particularly memorable:
“I’m not going to be the stately tree that’s going to be around forever, but maybe some of the ideas and things I can do for the world could have a lasting impact that goes beyond my lifetime. But even if I don’t achieve the legacy of a tree, I can absolutely achieve the memorable joy of a flower, where I can try my best to have positive interactions with people and help people when they are sad or dealing with those pesky emotion things. They are things that will be forgotten but still mean something.”
Of all the things Jory shared, this statement struck me as particularly memorable:
“I’m not going to be the stately tree that’s going to be around forever, but maybe some of the ideas and things I can do for the world could have a lasting impact that goes beyond my lifetime. But even if I don’t achieve the legacy of a tree, I can absolutely achieve the memorable joy of a flower, where I can try my best to have positive interactions with people and help people when they are sad or dealing with those pesky emotion things. They are things that will be forgotten but still mean something.”
October 9, 2021
Interesting how the author gives a personal inside look to the neurodivergent brain, and how one could benefit from not thinking in straight lines or ignore feelings in certain complex decision-making processes like these types of brains do.
Didn't find it as an easy reading, nor would I give it a second try in the medium-term, but still I've found it a relatively good book.
The title is a bit misleading tho...
“Living in a linear world will always warp my mind into a shape that it doesn't belong in.”
Didn't find it as an easy reading, nor would I give it a second try in the medium-term, but still I've found it a relatively good book.
The title is a bit misleading tho...
“Living in a linear world will always warp my mind into a shape that it doesn't belong in.”
June 17, 2021
Mr. Fleming is giving readers a gift by sharing how he thinks and how he processes information. Knowing that he thinks in a way that would not occur to me gives me hope for my own son. I know that my son sees the world differently. As his mom, we have developed our own communication style, but there are times when I don't understand what he is communicating. I especially appreciated the end chapters when Mr. Fleming discusses how he views faith.
December 12, 2021
This is quite interesting. A book by a man with autism who is a Rhodes Scholar. He's considered autism and those who are "neurotypical" and what the differences might be. He says many times in the course of the book that he doesn't think the behavior of his own brain can teach anything about the neurotypical brain, and possibly not even another autistic brain. However, I see connections in the things he talks about. It's an interesting way to compare lives.
February 5, 2023
I think it’s extremely cool to see into someone else’s mind at any time, but you rarely get to see too terribly clearly because few people express themselves with as much precision as Jory does. So I liked this because it felt like getting to take a glass-bottom boat out over a reef you’ve only swum around before. I did spend an unexpectedly high amount of time while reading this going, “wait, is that not how everyone thinks about/processes/experiences that?” I was expecting to see a massively different reef structure but found a familiar reef with a higher than normal number of new and exotic fish. Which I probably should be more concerned about but whatever.
July 8, 2021
What an eye-opening feature with and by a man who supposedly has a disability. Well, it certainly isn't a mental one.
This book is really more an interview with the author where he explains, in no-nonsense vocabulary how he sees the world. We should all be so blessed to see things through his eyes. (I should explain that he is an Oxford Scholar.)
I'd easily listen to this again when the crises of the world are getting me down. This man is obviously a clear and unemotional thinker who knows exactly who he is.
This book is really more an interview with the author where he explains, in no-nonsense vocabulary how he sees the world. We should all be so blessed to see things through his eyes. (I should explain that he is an Oxford Scholar.)
I'd easily listen to this again when the crises of the world are getting me down. This man is obviously a clear and unemotional thinker who knows exactly who he is.
May 24, 2021
Absolutely extraordinary. I think understanding more about how Jory‘s brain works is remarkable and very refreshing. It’s incredible and extremely important to understand why it’s important to live a life without judging others.
January 11, 2022
A fascinating look into the mind of one autistic man. There's a lot to unpack here that is applicable to all humankind. I especially enjoyed reading the brain science and how it was incorporated into this book.
June 10, 2021
Jory shares his wisdom and insight in thinking differently.
December 10, 2021
I wanted to like this book. I was hoping for insights on how my son works. In the end it was just kind of interesting and not that insightful.
December 12, 2021
Fascinating. And very helpful. Thank you for sharing your story!
January 14, 2023
More of an interview biography than a series of insights, interesting as an interview but not what I expected.
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