The Thefts of Nick Velvet

Nick Velvet

by Edward D. Hoch

Book by Hoch, Edward D.

Genres: Mystery, Crime, Short Stories, Fiction

216 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1978

About the author

Edward D. Hoch is one of the most honored mystery writers of all time.

* 1968 Edgar Allan Poe Award (Mystery Writers of America): "The Oblong Room", The Saint Mystery Magazine, July 1967
* 1998 Anthony Award (Bouchercon World Mystery Convention): "One Bag of Coconuts", EQMM, November 1997
* 2001 Anthony Award (Bouchercon): "The Problem of the Potting Shed", EQMM, July 2000
* 2007 Ellery Queen Readers Choice Award (awarded 2008): "The Theft of the Ostracized Ostrich", EQMM, June 2007
* Lifetime Achievement Award (Private Eye Writers of America), 2000
* Grand Master (Mystery Writers of America), 2001
* Lifetime Achievement Award (Bouchercon), 2001

Reviews

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a collection of short stories by Edward D. Hoch about a burglar, his specialty is stealing unusual things, things nobody wants.

Nick Velvetta is an Italian American thief that lives in Greenwich Village with his partner of ten years, Gloria Merchant. She is of course unaware of his “trade”. He always charge 20,000 dollars to steal a valueless item and at the end of the story we know why.
He is a product of New York according to the author, he is a loner. Gloria adores him but while he travels for “business” she waits for him at the house where at the end of his adventures he will go and sit on the porch with a beer at hand and Gloria by his side.

In his endeavors there is always a pretty woman who helps him without any romantic or sexual connotations, the women are usually very resourceful, assertive and independent, sometimes tricking Nick to do what they want. I found that all the stories were four stars with the exception of The Theft of the Onyx Pool written in 1967, that was a five stars with a solid plot and an intriguing storyline. In this theft, Nick needed to steal 19,000 gallons of water. The Theft of the Toy Mouse written in 1968 was also a five stars in my book. These stories read as novels with enough characters and plot lines to keep you guessing. At times funny and mysterious this series was a hit. I can’t believe I didn’t read more Hoch earlier in my life.

All the short stories in this book were published between 1966 to 1978. The only short stories that I found it to be three stars were The Theft of Nick Velvet, a 1974 short story and The Theft of the Bermuda Penny, a 1975 story that was too far fetched for my taste.

Best Nick’s line; “I’m no detective, only a good guesser when I have to be.”

[Julie Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just as fascinating as the "useless" things that Nick steals in these stories (the water from a swimming pool, a tiger from the zoo, a bad baseball team) are the reasons for the thefts. Those reasons are the real mysteries and all are quite varied. Light and enjoyable bedtime reading!

[Jason Speck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Edward Hoch was a ridiculously prolific writer, with more than 800 short stories to his credit. This wonderful collection features Nick Velvet, a master thief with one rule: he never steals anything of value. No money, gold, paintings or jewels. What will he steal? In this collection of tales, a toy mouse, a Bermudan penny, and the water from a swimming pool, just for starters. Oh, and did I forget the baseball team? You will binge the stories and then want more, I promise.

[Eric_W · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a collection of stories that I ran across somewhere. Clearly, Lawrence Block was not the first to create the congenial thief, nor was Donald Westlake. Nick Velvet — he changed his name from Velvetta to avoid the obvious confusion — takes on rather bizarre assignments. In one case he was hired to steal — and keep — the water from a particular swimming pool. He learned later that the water was to be used as evidence by the daughter of the owner's first wife to prove that her stepfather had murdered her mother. Rarely does Nick steal anything of ostensible monetary value. In "The Theft of the Clouded Tiger," he is hired to steal a rare tiger from a zoo for a Persian prince. In this case he profits handsomely but only by using the tiger to dispatch the real villains of the story. Unlike James Bond, whom Hoch originally intended Nick to be patterned after, Nick remains faithful to his girlfriend, Gloria, and he doesn't require the vast array of gadgets that make James Bond stories such fun for technophiles. In a truly classic story, "The Theft of the Meager Beavers," Nick is hired by the small country of Jabali to steal an entire major league baseball team. It seems the country's president has gone to great lengths to create a team for his country, but they have no one to play. Not wishing to disrupt the pennant race, Nick pours over the standings and selects the last place Beavers. As in all the stories, nothing is as it appears, and sure enough, Nick's sixth sense warns him that the nine members of the baseball team, the nine seashells on Jabali's flag, the Nine House, where the president resides, and the nine members of a firing squad all have considerable significance. In other stories, Nick is stolen himself, and has to make off with seven ravens. These are a lot of fun.

[Roy · Rating 3 out of 5]

The idea of a thief who only steals worthless things is a fascinating idea, and these stories show some of the interesting things Hoch has done with his unique idea. These are puzzle stories, without a lot of character development or insight into life -- but some of the puzzles are very fun and interesting. I think "The Theft of the Onyx Pool" was my favorite: Nick being hired to steal all the water out of a swimming pool. It reflects what works in these stories best, a puzzle about how Nick can pull off the strange theft, and a parallel one about why the woman who hired him wants him to do such a strange thing.

I read this in part because Bev had loved these stories and searched for them with difficulty in the age before the internet. She would have loved the complete bibliography at the end of the Kindle edition; it lists all the stories in publication order. I'd never read any of these stories (although I too enjoy mysteries; I have an Ellery Queen obsession), and I decided I wanted to see what they are like. They are fun little nuggets that, at their best, engage the brain well and pay off quickly. They are just about perfect for reading on my phone, since they are engaging and short enough to read while waiting for something else. While some of them are not all that exciting, those are quickly read and the next one is usually better. I'm very glad I've read this part of the Hoch canon.

I think of Edward Hoch as the Robert Silverberg of the mystery world, a prolific writer who created lots of interesting stories, and sometimes created series that went on for yeats. Therefore a mix of great stuff and weak stuff, but definitely lots of stuff.

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had heard a lot about the strange stories that make up this collection - as Nick only steals what others think are valueless as he does not steal for money or personal gain - so when you read about them they all sound rather intriguing which I will admit they are.

However there is always a rational explanation to go with them which both adds to the fun but also takes away some of the mystique too which is a rather strange trade off. That said they are all very cleverly put together although at times the dialogue does give away some of the age of these stories.

But like all crime stories it is more about the crime than anything else so you very quickly forget the short falls and get in to the spirit of the strange world of Nick Velvet. So another fun read of Edward D Hoch stories with a twist - which of the series shall I try next I wonder

[Linda Watson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nick Velvet Short Stories

I have probably read all the stories before in Ellery Queens Mystery magazine but Hoch comes up with some amazing stories if Velvet stealing items of no value

[Johann_tor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very enjoyable bingable procedurals.

[Masayuki Arai · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simple and clever setting!

[Goran Remborg · Rating 4 out of 5]

13 underhållande noveller om Nick Velvet som stjäl saker, men för de flesta helt värdelösa objekt.
Kul läsning

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite character of the Edward D Hoch short stories has always been Nick Velvet and these stories don’t disappoint!

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good; but maybe not as good as I remember. Still utterly worth re-reading.

[Tony · Rating 3 out of 5]

Despite his having written about 1000 short-stories, I'd never previously heard of Hoch until I read his afterward to Ehrengraf for the Defense. Thankfully several collections of his stories are available for free on Scribd Premium[1]. This set are about Nick Velvet — a thief who steals to order, no questions asked (but only items of no value), for a flat fee of $20,000 a time ($30k if it's likely to be especially dangerous). Most of the time, in order to successfully actually carry out the theft, or in order to protect himself from being double-crossed (or even killed), he to figure out what's really going on, and ends up acting as as much of a detective as a thief (with shades of Bernie Rhodenbarr). The stories are generally quick and fun, and now the completist is me is wondering how to find copies of all the ones that haven't been anthologised!

[1] Sign up with this link for two months free, and I get a bonus month.

[Richard Mann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the Nick Velvet stories by Ed Hoch. Nick is a specialized thief; he only steals items of no value. Yeah, that's right, items of no value. And he charges a flat fee, $20,000 in the early stories. I believe the fee went up over the years.

The client's reasons for wanting these items stolen reveal the fertile imagination of Ed Hoch. Half the delight in these stories is finding it why they want the general's trash stolen (for example). The other half is in the genius of how Nick does it.

Love these stories.

[Michael Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

Simple and easy to read tales about a thief who steals trash, water, pennies and lots of stuff that is only worth something to the client but has little real value otherwise. They are slightly silly and a bit dated (1960s and 70s ) but we see were Nick is in his nitch, known to various police and governments yet tolerated for his aid in solving more serious crimes while stealing a 99 cent toy windup mouse.

[Jim Krotzman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting. Concise writing.

[Despicable Me · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short stores, easy to read. A bit straightforward, so does not become boring. Each story presents a new surprise. It sort of is like the tree the Syracuse University professor made!

[Jan Moens · Rating 4 out of 5]

6,5/10

[David Houston · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good.
I think they did better being read one at a time in EQMM than collected together.

I do plan to buy more of this author's work.