Esther Perel's Where Should We Begin?: The Arc of Love

by Esther Perel

Length: 4 hrs and 38 mins

For her latest Audible Original, Where Should We Begin?: The Arc of Love, Esther Perel invites you to listen to private and intimate conversations exploring the evolution of relationships. Hear six sets of people at different points in their quest for romantic and familial love, including a young couple whose immigration status has forced them to consider marriage, a step-mother trying to put the pieces back together for four children whose mother died by suicide, a non-binary child desperate to connect with their single mother, a divorced couple whose two-household relationship may prove that marriage doesn’t have to end after divorce, and more. Listen and better understand your own relationships through the struggles of these people and Esther’s remarkable insights.

Genres: Relationships, Audiobook, Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Romance, Personal Development

Audible Audio

First published October 4, 2018

About the author

Esther Perel is recognized as one of the world’s most original and insightful voices on personal and professional relationships. She is the best-selling author of Mating in Captivity Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, translated into 25 languages. Fluent in nine of them, the Belgian native is a practicing psychotherapist, celebrated speaker and organizational consultant to Fortune 500 companies. The New York Times, in a cover story, named her the most important game changer on sexuality and relationships since Dr. Ruth. Her critically acclaimed viral TED talk reached nearly 5 million viewers in the first year.

Known for her keen cross-cultural pulse, Esther shifts the paradigm of our approach to modern relationships. She is regularly sought around the world for her expertise in erotic intelligence, couples and family identity as well as corporate relationships and team collaboration.

Her clients and platforms include companies such as Nike, Johnson & Johnson and Mopar, the Open Society Institute, Tony Robbins Productions, Summit Series, Founder’s Forum, PopTech, Young Presidents Organization, Entrepreneur Organization, and the Bronfman Foundation.

Her innovative models for building strong and lasting relationships have been widely featured in the media across 5 continents spanning The New York Times, the Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Le Monde, Ha’Aretz and The Guardian, The New Yorker, Fast Company, and Vogue. She is a frequent guest on radio and television shows including NPR’s Brian Lehrer Show, Oprah and The Today Show, Dr. Oz and The Colbert Report.

In addition to Esther’s 30-year therapy practice in New York City, she also serves on the faculty of The Family Studies Unit, Department of Psychiatry, New York University Medical Center and The International Trauma Studies Program at Columbia University.

Reviews

[LaGaryce · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

[Danielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m cheating a little bit with this one because it is technically excerpts from a podcast and not a proper book. But my mom downloaded it through Audible, which means the author must have at least tricked Amazon into thinking it was a book. Anyway, this was just what I needed to keep me awake and in good spirits on my long drive between CA and UT. The patients sometimes had very wacky and fascinating problems. So the element of human drama was strong, which I can appreciate. And I thought Esther Perel had some great insight. Plus her accent makes her sound extra wise.

[Ruba Nassereldeen ربى ناصرالدين · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just finished listing to The Arc of Love for Esther Perel on Audible and gave it ⭐️⭐️

Not because it’s not a good book, I just think it has a specific audience.
It wasn’t a regular choice for me, but enjoyed listening to the stories and try to find different perspectives to look at thing.

[Aylya · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars for a free book. If I'd paid for it would most probably give 4. I liked it overall, wish it had deeper analysis though.

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was seriously juicy.

[Bianca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice, but not quite what I expected. It's more of a 4 or 5 part podcast than it is a full fledged audiobook, so I'm dissatisfied that it cost a full credit. The things she says in it are also available in her free online content and interviews under a different structure, therefore budget-wise better to rely on her online content OR on Mating on Captivity which is another one of the author's actual books.

One unique aspect is that the cases she highlights are with the actual people instead of abstractized theory, so you get to experience live therapy of sorts. It's the next best thing to live personalized therapy for some. I sort-of liked it, but I would not recommend others to purchase it unless they are students or big hobbyists of psychology, need relationship therapy but cannot afford it yet or are considering it and need to decide if it could work for them, or unless just like me they love learning about intricacies of human relationships in-depth.

[M Keathley · Rating 3 out of 5]

This audio recording does not come close to how much I got out of her book "Mating in Captivity." But I enjoyed the stories. Particularly intrigued by the final chapter.

[Anoop Alla · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn’t know how GOAT’ed Ester Perel was until I read this book. The insight and healing was out of control.

[Mari Annus · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was recommended it by a friend and fellow family therapist trainee.
I’m very thankful for it because this is gold! Especially for a becoming specialist, to hear into the room of a great therapist is very valuable. I love how the episodes are built that some parts are cut out and there’s just the conclusion or insight of what’s going on read by Esther Perel. It’s lovely to hear that she has her own specific vocabulary she uses, especially the question of “Is that an understatement?”
I got many insights into how to approach different topics and how empathetic and curious mindset is something that makes a great therapist. Only the sound quality could have been better as I found it sometimes hard to listen to in a car.

[D. Nicole Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this! What a wonderful way to learn!
I enjoyed this listen. Before I listening to this book, I did not really understand the impact of audio in telling emotional stories. The emotion was not even anticipated. In fact, I did not know what to expect and was pleasantly surprised for the learning that was gained through listening to other people's stories. I appreciated the author's ability to ask questions in such a way that impacted even the listener. As the client felt, so did I. As the client had an insight and awakening... so did I! I'm so grateful for this learning and this learning format!

[Andrei · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audioraamat suhteterapeut Esther Pereli podcasti-seeria põhjal, mille raames avaldatud vestlused paaridega on koondatud siin armastuse eri aspekte avavaks narratiiviks. Pereli raamatute väärilist tervikut siiski ei moodustu, aga kui formaadiprobleemi eirata, huvitav kuulamine sellegipoolest. 3/5

[Margot · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a bit of a difficult one to rate, as it is a collection of podcast episodes rather than a "real" book, so it misses a bit of coherence. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed diving into these stories of love, grief, heartbreak and family.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this on a whim and it was a great read/listen. Esther Perel is magnificently insightful, and I plan to seek out more of her work.

[Adriana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This woman can do no wrong. I’m obsessed.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was an audiobook instead of a hardcopy book, and was given as a podcast. I didn’t connect with any of the people. It just wasn’t for me.

[Karen Prive · Rating 5 out of 5]

Esther Perel is a relationship therapist, and in Where Should We Begin? we are treated to a glimpse of her work. Through excerpts of actual recorded sessions, and Esther's occasional reflections, the listener is able to eavesdrop and then expand their definitions of what it means to be in a - any - relationship. This is not limited to marriage counseling either - a mother and adult child are included, as are a divorced couple.

Enjoyable without being voyeuristic, Where Should We Begin helped me think more deeply about my own connections - as a wife, mother, grandmother, aunt, friend - but even more so, to myself. As I listened I questioned my own relational and emotional maturity - comparing the material of my own individual therapy sessions to the richness and depth of these couples. By the end I felt less judgmental about my own shortcomings, and more determined to be attuned to my own needs, wants and inclinations.

[Juan Camilo Velandia Quijano · Rating 5 out of 5]

Esther Perel's therapy sessions are very interesting. I've followed the podcast and now I get to listen this Audible compilation of six couples, not necessarily romantic partners, in their process of loving. Learning, recovering, rediscovering, reconstructing... Love has many forms, shapes and ways to get there, that what Perel has to say is always necessary and enriching.

You can see from a distance the vast experience of Perel as a therapist, she has the poignant questions and the right words to explain the problems in a relationship and what to do about it. She's not the know-it-all exhausting therapist, she leads her patients to their own realization through questions, their own answers lead them to something that resembles the truth or the beginning of a solution.

The stories are painful, funny, relatable and understandable, they take the listener through a rollercoaster of feelings that moves you and makes you think a lot about your own relationship. Very recommend.

[Eric Bingham · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed listening to this audible presentation. It was actually a series of podcasts rather than a book. I didn't always agree with Esther Perel in her decisions, but I did feel like the discussion she had were filled with bits of wisdom and helpful ideas. There was some language and some content in the podcast.

[Tozheg · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant selection, real couple sessions and their stories, and Esther Perel does a magical brilliant job in every session to take us through how to see beyond the surface and opens up the mental blocks and taboos, and does all of that with a highly positive approach.

[Johnny Sayer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this. Just amazing and heartbreaking hearing the raw emotions and the penny dropping of personal growth moments.

[Mariana Kobayashi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is free therapy, and everyone should read/ listen to it (alongside all other Esther Perel's books) - for better relationships.

[Caleb · Rating 3 out of 5]

I always enjoy and get so much out of Esther‘s sessions. She seems to be so direct and the clients are always so receptive.

One of the couples really bothered me because Esther spoke about how the woman who was having erotic feelings for other women might not actually be experiencing sexuality, but instead a lack of maternal love from her childhood. This is a very harmful message that gets perpetuated in the LGBT community. Lack of a loving parent is often one of the things cited when people are in conversion therapy and I expected a lot better from Esther. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but I’ll plan to discuss it tonight at therapist book club and see what other people think.

[Marja · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not really a book even though it's on Audible. As far as I understand it's a collection of six podcast episodes form Esther Perel's podcast. In every episode there are two people discussing about the challenges in their relationship with some insight from Esther. They are not only romantic relationships. I think there was at least one mother and grown up child duo. I found these conversations fascinating. I was wondering, though, what was the point of publishing this like this, because there was nothing to tie these conversations together and the whole thing felt a bit detached and incoherent.

[Amaia ✡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

A forensic, psychological dissection into the dysfunctionalities of relationships.

[Jamie Deleon-Matika · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not the most cohesive audiobook but I love Esther and her commentary was quite enlightening.

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was fascinating to listen to.

[Catarina Ribeira · Rating 4 out of 5]

This short listen explored 6 unique couples and their deep questions about love - interesting, insightful, and intimate. I loved it! 🎧

[Sarah Parker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This woman is amazing and insightful and wow does she connect with her patients. Incredible wisdom.

[Conor · Rating 5 out of 5]

must listen

[Dominique · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could listen to Esther Perel speak on relationships and love and marriage for hours on end. She’s ALWAYS worth the listen!