White Oaks

by Jill Hand

Aimee Trapnell reluctantly leaves her apartment on Manhattan’s Central Park West to return to her childhood home in Georgia for her father’s ninetieth birthday. Also on hand are her two brothers, wily Marsh and ne’er-do-well Trainor. With a forty-billion-dollar inheritance at stake, they’re willing to do whatever it takes to make the old man happy.

To their shock they learn that what their father wants for his birthday is to kill someone. He doesn’t care who it is. He just wants to know what it’s like to commit murder.

Betrayal, double-dealing, and fast-paced action set the Trapnells on a collision course with an unexpected villain. Their journey takes them from the swamps of Georgia, to Italy’s glittering Amalfi coast, to rugged Yellowstone National Park.

Genres: Thriller, Fiction, Mystery, Humor, Mystery Thriller, Ebooks

229 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 30, 2019

Reviews

[Sherry Fundin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everything about White Oaks appeals to me, from the fabulous cover to the wonderful blurb and the southern location. I was hooked from the beginning. Written in a comic style with characters that fit the southern profile, including the family’s three siblings that want to control their father’s fortune.

White Oaks is the Trapnell family’s plantation.

White Oaks starts out with a yellow Lamborghini racing into town and a foxy woman, Aimee, holding a bottle of Southern Comfort getting out. You may draw your own conclusions. lol

We also have Trainor, driving a beat up, rusted truck, feigning poverty because of his divorce from his gold digging third wife

And Marsh, am arms dealer.

Don’t forget Karen, the older sibling by another mother.

Blanton, their father, has no trouble playing them off against each other, sticking the knife in and twisting it. I’m not sure if any of them are worth the paper I am writing my notes on, even the grandchildren, who learn nothing good from their elders.

Blanton is celebrating his 90th birthday, and his wish? “I want to kill a man.”

His children’s bumbling and fumbling to grant his wish lead them on a wild mystery ride of gators, snakes, and treachery, all done with a comically light touch. There is more than meets the eye going on and I loved the twists and turns that Jill Hand came up with.

Humor, mystery, murder and a plot to bring on Ragnarok.

The characters are ones that I love to hate, at times showing some redeeming qualities as they traverse the world on a mission that has so many twists and turn I was constantly surprised.

I voluntarily reviewed a free copy of White Oaks by Jill Hand.

See more at fundinmental

[Fictionophile · Rating 2 out of 5]

If money were no object, you were old and nearing death, what would YOU do to get your kicks? Well Blanton Toombs Trapnell wants to murder someone. Bizarre yes. The psyche of the ultra rich is explored in depth in "White Oaks".

This was pure escapist fiction. Over the top decadence, family retainers, brand-name dropping, secret societies, and avarice.

It was hard to fathom how a forty billion dollar fortune, divided four ways, wasn't enough for the Trapnell offspring.

The writing was provocative, darkly comedic, and the plot moved along at a good pace.

The story was entertaining in a sort of morbidly fascinating way, yet the extreme greed of the characters along with their self-absorbed and selfish outlook marred the novel for me. I grew weary of the endless descriptions of what everyone was wearing and how much it cost. The search for the stolen relic lent the novel an absurd and preposterous slant in my opinion.

In short, not my cup of tea, but I can see that this novel might be enjoyed by others.

[A.J. McCarthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

White Oaks tells the story of a trio of siblings who have been raised in lap of luxury in the Deep South. Their, at times, hair-raising adventures take them from the sweltering heat of their hometown, to the high life in Manhattan, to the elegance of Europe, and to the ruggedness of the Northwestern States. The author has succeeded in giving us lavish descriptions of each setting, while developing characters who, on the surface, shouldn’t be likeable. Yet, they were engaging and left me wanting more. I don’t know if this novel will have a sequel, but I certainly hope so. I’d like to spend time immersed in more of the Trapnell antics. Kudos to the author!

[Guillermo · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is so bad that I don't know where to start to pinpoint its many failings. First of all, none of the main characters has the minimum vestige of a moral compass. They are three "filthy rich" siblings whose only interest in life is to inherit the money from their father, although all of them have received plenty of cash from him (one of them has two five-million-dollar apartments in New York, one for herself and the other for her snakes!). Second, its racial stereotypes concerning the southern people are very worrisome, specially after George Floyd's death and the wave of protests it originated. Third, the plot changes abruptly from the siblings trying to get a birthday gift for their father to a conspiracy to destroy the whole world. Fourth, the alliance between a black butler and a white supremacist is unbelievable. Finally, the permanent description of luxury items like watches, shirts, bags, jewels, dresses, fabrics, cars, etc. by all kinds of designers, including their prices, is very annoying to say the least.

If you like books with well crafted plots, plausible characters and believable settings, look elsewhere and don't waste your time with this one.

[Nina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting characters, but it seemed a bit disjointed. A 90 year old man asks his children to find him somebody to strangle for his 90th birthday so he can see what it's like. The entire book could have been built off that plot line, but after dispensing with that request early on, the book takes off on another story line about a grandchild who helps an errant uncle steal a ridiculous relic from his stepfather. We eventually get back to the old man. There are humorous interactions along the way. What amused me most is that the vicious old man reminded me of Trump, and his three kids (a fashionista daughter, one educated son, and one idiot son), reminded me of Ivanka, Donald Jr., and Eric. Just as spoiled and just as worthless.

[Les · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have absolutely NO IDEA How I ended up with a sample of this book buried on my Kindle. But I am so glad I did.

Anyway I apparently downloaded this sample sometime in 2019 and ignored it and I wasn't until I got a new Kindle (long story) that I found my short list of samples and started reading.

I am at a loss to correctly assign this book to a category

This is the story about a family of insanely wealthy and fabulously eccentric people who you should hate but somehow they become lovable and nice.

The children are Aimee; a fashion designer married to a German Prince whose only child from her first marriage is in drug rehab in Switzerland and who tools around town in a Lamborghini while picking up canned brunswick stew for her 90 year old Billionaire daddy. Her brothers Marsh, an arms dealer, and Trainor; a load, join her at her father's home as they prepare for his 90th birthday party. There eldest sister, Karen is running a girls school / sweatshop in Nepal and is not expected to attend.

Daddy wants a very strange birthday gift; he wants to strangle a man to death. And his kids want to help him sort of. However everything goes horribly wrong and for a moment it seems like Aimee is going to be the sole heir to her father's fortune.

Things get progressively crazier and crazier but you can't help but cheer for these deranged, spoiled people.

[Greg Seeley · Rating 5 out of 5]

In White Oaks, Jill Hand presents a highly entertaining story of a very wealthy but seriously dysfunctional Southern family. As eccentric multi-millionaire Blanton Trapnell appears near death, his adult children each scheme and connive to grab the largest share of the potential inheritance. At the same time, they engage in a frantic search for a stolen mystical item that supposedly empowers its possessor with the ability to destroy the world. The quest takes them on an intriguing intercontinental journey. Though by no means saints themselves, they become involved with a variety of characters of questionable morals including gang members, mobsters, and common thugs.
Hand’s story takes numerous twists and turns that keep the reader constantly guessing and concludes with a surprise that even the most experienced mystery fan will not see coming. White Oaks is a thoroughly engaging read that is not to be missed. I rate it a solid five stars and look forward to the family’s further adventures in the sequel.

[Mani · Rating 4 out of 5]

A big thank you to Jill for sending me a review copy of this book all the way from the U.S in return for an honest and unbiased review.

White Oaks is Jill’s debut novel which I enjoyed immensely. It’s full of surprises which I wasn’t expecting. In fact, I thought this would turn out to be a typical family mystery but it was much more. I found the plot to be very original and very interesting. I couldn’t put this book down.

White Oaks was a quick read for me, it’s quite short with only 225 pages but they are full of great writing and detailed descriptions.

At first I didn’t really take a liking to the characters, especially the trio of siblings I found them to be stuck up rich snobs, but as the story progressed they grew on me. Although I still didn’t really have a favourite.

I really enjoyed this book and can’t wait to see what Jill comes up with next.

If you love mysteries with unpredictable twists, and dark humour this book is definitely worth reading. I highly recommend.

[Ileana Renfroe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great story and well-crafted characters make White Oaks an enjoyable read.

Aimee Trapnell reluctantly leaves her apartment on Manhattan’s Central Park West to return to her childhood home in Georgia for her father’s ninetieth birthday. Also on hand are her two brothers, wily Marsh and ne’er-do-well Trainor. With a forty-billion-dollar inheritance at stake, they’re willing to do whatever it takes to make the old man happy.

To their shock, they learn that what their father wants for his birthday is to kill someone. He doesn’t care who it is. He just wants to know what it’s like to commit murder.

[Pamela Faust · Rating 3 out of 5]

Take one cranky old man, a son who dressed very well and talked like he was a travel visitor guide, a woman who also dressed nicely and like snakes and WAS a snake and, finally, a real-life Jethro Bodine. That’s what you get when you read White Oaks. A lot of people die and Marsh makes us all way too familiar with nonsensical trivia.

[Justkeepreading · Rating 3 out of 5]

A dark, and funny thriller. That would be great as a movie. Starring people like Sean penn, or Simon pegg

[Kasa Cotugno · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good satire, but maybe due to bad timing, this book didn't work for me. I find I need more from my fiction than this book had to offer.

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

Beware, if you want to see every designer name and the word “bespoke” a gazillion times, this is your book. If on the other hand Prada, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Emilio Zegna, Patek Philippe, and on and on and on is not your thing, don’t even bother opening this book.

One sentence and you need to know nothing else: “The Trapnell children were as suspicious and watchful of each other as Medicis.” To say that the descriptions of clothing, food and everything else was trite and cliche is being generous. It was all very, very, annoying. The whole storyline seems to writhe with the winner takes all and hell be damned if you aren’t the winner.

Strange, the whole running around and back was just too strange. But you can always pick up a few designers with whom me you might not be acquainted; Turnbull & Asser, Cartier, Roberto Cavalli, Tom Ford. There is a whole lot of that and not much else going on in White Oaks.

I received this book from NetGalley and Black Rose Writing in exchange for a review.

[Scot · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book's sometimes dark sense of humor. It made me think of the classic novel by Erskine Caldwell, Tobacco Road, as both are wry, bittersweet comedies about Southern stereotypes set in Georgia. While the Caldwell book scandalized vulgarities of white trash in the 1930s, this debut novel by Jill Hand sets out to lampoon indolent and avaricious life of the 1%, set in a home celebrating the plantation mansion with modern pool, spa, etc.

The premise: old man Blanton Trapnell, a cantankerous and bullying billionaire, literally wants to strangle somebody, and the three adult children he has around him (daughter Aimee, a fashion designer married to a European aristocrat; son Trainor, a feckless redneck; and son Marsh, a dapper international arms salesman--an older daughter by an earlier marriage is off running a charity school in Nepal and will figure in later) are all vying for a bigger slot of inheritance and eager to please him and be his favorite. Of course, he enjoys playing them off against each other.

It becomes a thriller with lots of page turning action and embedded cultural critiques, also moving around the country and the globe. I appreciated the tone and style, an entertaining read.

[Beth Withers · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received the 3rd book in this series to review through LibraryThing's Early Reviewers, so I decided to read books 1 and 2 first. The books are not long, and it did not take me too long to read this one. At first, I thought that the book was going to be nothing more than an attempt at humor involving stereotypical residents of Georgia. Being one of those people in a family that has been here since before the state was a state, I was getting bristly at the beginning. It turned out that the book was less that than it was a story about an insanely rich man with four awful children who all want their perceived inheritance. It all turns a bit weird with a thermonuclear weapon in a suitcase and a plot to blow up the world. I did enjoy the humor, even sharing some of it with others, but it was all a bit much for a short book. I also got tired of all the high-end name brands of clothes, shoes, jewelry, purses, etc. I got the point that they were filthy rich fairly quickly and didn't need to be reminded repeatedly.

[Dan Kalin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jill Hand has written a completely entertaining thriller which incorporates a sometimes comic view of family dynamics surrounding inheritance positioning within a ruling Southern family. I say "ruling" since we in the United States sometimes use extreme multi-generational wealth as a proxy for royalty and most of us know places where there are families so rich they literally can get away with murder. In White Oaks, the family patriarch assigns an illegal bucket list item for his four grown children to arrange and the fun begins. The twists, turns, betrayals, and daft-yet-plausible behavior combine into something you'll want to read in one sitting.

The writing and craftsmanship is impeccable, and a distinct pleasure to read. White Oaks is one of those books to savor as skimming would miss too many wonderful, and snarky, observations. I recommend without reservation.

I purchased the book directly from the publisher.

[Charles Domokos · Rating 4 out of 5]

A crisp, entertaining mystery with a clever premise: 90 year old Daddy Trapnell will leave all the billions of bucks to whichever of the three (tiny bit spoiled) tykes steps outside the law to dispose of someone -- anyone at all. The story unfolds in picturesque settings (rural and swampy Georgia, secluded and dangerous Italian Amalfi Coast, and iconic Yellowstone Park). The characters are charming upper-crust ne'er-do-wells, chief among them Aimee von Helgern, nee Trapnell, billionaire daddy's only daughter, up against her two brothers, Marsh, the youngest, a pint-sized weapon and multinational arms dealer, and Trainor, laid back, inadvertently giving away his obscenely huge allowance and various apartments and houses to his soon-to-be third ex-wife. All three siblings play for keeps. One of them will gain the inheritance, no matter what it takes or who must be swept out of the way.

[Vivian · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny read with extremely Southern characters that’ll have you grinning while simultaneously rolling your eyes.

Aimee, Trainor and Marsh all vied for their father’s affection. At ninety, Blanton was ...”worth about forty billion dollars, by last reckoning.” His eldest daughter from his first marriage, Karen, was never really around. But they feared he favored her. Helping prepare for Gong Gong’s Birthday extravaganza, as his only grandchild affectionately referred to him, was going to take a lot of work. But they’d do whatever the old man asked in order to raise to the front in favor. At the edge of his ninetieth, he’d outlived almost everyone of importance in his life. Even still, Blanton had one request of his three children. He wanted someone to kill with his bare hands. Who it would be, would be up to them.

[Liz Etnyre · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a horrid, unlikable, pretentious family! (It's a bit disturbing when the 'good' sibling is the black market arms dealer.) This was less a 'Gothic thriller' and more a satire or farce. That said, despite being loaded with unflattering stereotypes, seemingly interminable brand name dropping, an over-convoluted plot, and a certain level of repetition, this ended up being a reasonably enjoyable read. It rather reminded me of the movie 'The Pink Panther', or maybe 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels', in that 'madcap romp' kind of way. Not great, but kept my attention - even if it did provoke a number of snorts, smirks, and eye rolls. 3.5 stars.

[Ted Myers · Rating 5 out of 5]

A hilariously wicked read, from beginning to end.

I was expecting a typical Southern Gothic storyline in which three siblings—Aimee Trapnell and her two brothers, Trainor and Marsh—vie for the billions their cantankerous ninety-year-old father, Blanton, would be leaving them in the near future. Perhaps first vying to win his favor over the others, then, I imagined, bumping each other off. While one such murder does occur (to a much older half-sister and a very minor character), the plot takes a sudden unexpected left and leads the three surviving siblings (and us) on a quest halfway around the world and back in search of a stolen artifact which is said to possess the power to end the world.

Although this is Ms. Hand’s debut novel, she delivers this highly original and unlikely tale with straight-faced irony and the skill and confidence of a seasoned author. Many of the passages had me actually laughing out loud—and that’s really saying something. Here’s an example:

“Hillman was nearly as old as his employer. He resembled a Galápagos tortoise, with his heavy-lidded eyes and shriveled little head atop a long, wrinkled neck the color and texture of a walnut. He regarded the three Trapnell siblings with puzzlement, as if unsure of who they were. Then something seemed to click inside his ancient brain
‘Mr. Blanton wants y’all in his study,’ he said, slowly nodding his head in confirmation. ‘Right now,’ he added, more forcefully. ‘He says he wants to see y’all right now, so I come to get y’all and tell y’all he wants to see y’all right now!’ The last two words were barked out in an eerily accurate imitation of Blanton’s voice. Then he launched into a fit of deep, bronchial coughing.”

I highly recommend White Oaks to lovers of morbid mysteries, unpredictable plot twists, and dark humor.

[Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wealthy families fathers birthday was coming up soon and he had a family meeting to tell them what he wanted for his birthday. Their dad was about 90 years old then. What a surprise when he told them he wanted to strangle a man . Odd choice for a birthday gift. Lots of people getting murdered then. This sigul object was important to lots of people . It was to mean the end of the world. It was stolen . It belonged to the daughters husband. Strange the things that happen then and whose who in this whole crazy story.

[Julie Angstadt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting story of a family that is involved in many things.

Blanton Trapnell is the father of two sons and two daughters. Katherine is his oldest daughter, from his first wife. The there's sons Trainor and Marsh, and daughter Aimee who is married to a German marriage. But they're usually living in separate residences. Aimee lives in NYC. Trainor is not a strong leader. Marsh has worked hard and has money. What happens when their father tells the children he wants to strangle someone? And what happens when Aimee's son Benjamin has to go to a fancy rehab in Europe? There are twists and turns in this book. Enjoyed it

[Gary Hahn · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very strange book. 1 half sister and 2 brothers and a sister from second wife of 90 year old southern father. Both wives are dead. This is a very mis-fit family and each is trying to be the last heir standing when the father dies. Sister is married to a German who hates America and everything it stand for. Some strange group plans on dropping a nuclear bomb into a historic national site and starting the world over because it's become so bad. Definitely wouldn't recommend this unless you are really bored.

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did not see a lot of these events coming! I thought it was just about 3 siblings waiting for their dad to die, so they could inherit his billions.

It starts off with a car crash and nothing being done, because the girl is insanely rich.

There is the father's crazy af request, his last "whoo-rah" if you will. Then, a few murders, trips around the world, a secret society, and nuke bombs and a volcano???

This plot definitely kept me hooked. It was hilarious and just plain crazy. Loved it.

[June · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yikes and oh my...at first read of about 2 chapters I most seriously did not like the characters in this book at all. Found them egotistical and totally self centered to the point where murdering someone is really no big deal. But then the siblings grew on me...
Aimee,Marsh and Trainor are very spoiled brats with more money then they really should have....what they get embroiled in and all the ensuing plots thereafter leave you shaking your head and saying"Did that just happen" Good read.

[Cynthia A · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very strange family

Trapnell family consists of a brood of spoiled rotten adults. The father is old and the kids are waiting for him to die to receive billions of dollars as their inheritance. Benjamin the son of Aimee Trapnell steals an important object from his stepfather. Killings occur trying to recover the stolen goods.
One adventure after another keeps the story moving.

[Mary Bramwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, quirky, and full of surprises!
This is not your typical story. It's a tale with wonderful twists along that way, but one that never takes itself too seriously. I found myself liking the characters simply because they are soooo self-absorbed and absurd. These caricatures, the delightful writing style, and the story itself will make you smile. Highly recommend.

[Lagniappe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Part murder mystery, part scavenger hunt, part Southern family drama, all with a darkly humorous edge - a wonderful read! You will find yourself growing fond of the three siblings at the heart of the story, even though you know you shouldn't. A quick read, easy to finish off in a day. A Definite recommend.

[Judy Uckotter · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was an interesting read until close to the end. It was very anticlimactic. Also, I guess the writer wanted to keep reminding the reader that the Trapnells were a very rich family so she would describe clothes, furniture, hotels, etc. using the designer names. Got a little annoying after awhile.

[Brandon Barrows · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dark and strange with characters you can both laugh at and aren't afraid to hate (because they're pretty darned scummy), WHITE OAKS goes places you won't expect. And just as you think you've gotten a handle on what comes next, it swings you off down a different path and keeps you guessing. You won't see the ending coming!