Especial

by Ryan O'Connell, Adriana Fidalgo (Translator)

Como se os desafios de ser um jovem gay com paralisia cerebral não fossem o bastante, Ryan O’Connell viveu todos os clichês de um Millennial. Ele passou a segunda década de sua vida estagiando para divas delirantes, engolindo todos os remédios que conseguia encontrar pelo caminho e tentando achar o amor verdadeiro — coff coff — no Grindr. Mas depois de tanta tentativa e erro, Ryan pode dizer, com propriedade, que mancou elegantemente todo o caminho para a vida adulta. Especial, seu (hilário) relato autobiográfico, é uma reflexão sobre o mundo cruel que espera jovens de vinte e poucos anos superprotegidos pelos pais e uma lição de como encontrar a si mesmo em meio às disputas por likes e seguidores.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, LGBT, Humor, Audiobook, Disability, Biography

224 pages, Paperback

First published June 2, 2015

About the author

Ryan O’Connell is a writer and professional feeler of emotions living in Los Angeles. He’s written for Thought Catalog, Vice, The New York Times, Medium, and other publications, as well as for MTV’s Awkward. I’m Special is his first book.

Reviews

[Gerasimos Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ryan O' Connell is a tv writer who also happens to be a young gay man living with cerebral palsy. Just last week Netflix released a show written and created by him (and starring himself) inspired by this memoir filled with anecdotes from his life. After watching all eight 15-minute long episodes on Netflix I just had to pick up this book and get more of Ryan and his hilarious stories.

I decided to go for the audiobook which is narrated by Ryan himself, just because I needed more of his personality that was oozing out of his Netflix show. I was not disappointed. Ryan's memoir is even funnier, more heartwarming and even more emotional than the Netflix adaptation of it. The jokes made me laugh harder and the emotional moments resonated deeper.

Ryan is funny, sweet and intelligent and his stories made me laugh and want to cry at the same time. He is the representation we need right now and I cannot recommend this book or the Netflix show enough.

[Eunice (nerdytalksbookblog) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truer words were never spoken.


I got a copy from Net Galley in exchange for an honest review. All I can say is: truer words were never spoken. Ryan O'Connell was able to present the life of twentysomethings in this wild, messy, complicated roller-coaster ride, and I couldn't help but agree on the majority of the book. Being a twentysomething myself, I, too, have been to toxic friendships, unrequited love down to ugly relationships, and to read something like this serves as an affirmation that despite the shitty hands that we were dealt with, we can bounce back, it is just a matter of discipline and our eagerness to make a difference out of our chaotic lives. Yes, that classmate in high school who constantly posts happy photos from a vacation spent with dear friends in some exclusive island is probably as lost and as unsure of her life as you are, that college friend who posted a picture of her bright shiny red car is probably living on crackers to tide her for the week - this book made me realize that twentysomethings, including myself, loved to live in a big facade. Constantly itching to show the world only the nice things that are happening to their pathetic lives. Being a twentysomething is like being in a Britney Spears' song Not a girl, not yet a woman. The transition is scary and more often than not, we like to stay at the shore than swim against the waves, but once we've kissed the ocean we are so desperate to stay afloat that we forget to breathe for a while, to enjoy how the sun kisses our skin, we forget the simple things. This wonderful book made me realize that there are far more important things in life than trying to please everyone, that people will perpetually fail you in ways you cannot imagine, that at the end of a tiring day all you truly have is yourself. This book can be the bible of twentysomethings, and I am really glad I read it! Kudos to the author for writing such an incredible book!


"I don't regret anything. And neither should you. You should remember all of it. You should remember all the time you wasted in your bed, or someone else's bed or at some bar where you overheard the same drippy conversations. You should remember how thin you once were despite subsisting on beer and pizza. You should remember all the people you tried to love all the people who tried to love you. All the awful overpriced apartments, all the toxic friendships, and all the money you spent on things you can no longer recall. Then I want you to remember the moment you developed a keen understanding of what works for you and what doesn't. I want you to remember being comfortable in your own skin and not feeling like you have to apologize for every little thing, I want you to remember the first time you decided not to put the entirety of your self worth in someone's careless hands. Because moments like those are the most valuable - instances in which you felt yourself no longer becoming the person you want to but already being it. That's pretty fucking special."

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a book challenge read for me. I had never heard of Ryan O'Connell before but since I like reading autobiographies, I picked this one up. I'll straight up say that this was not at all what I expected. This was a little too crude and explicit, but he had a clever wit which made this far more palatable than I would have thought. This wasn't laugh out loud funny for me because I was mostly saying to myself, "I can't believe he just said that," but he was clever ,honest and seemed to capture emotion well, which are three things that I feel worked here. The information regarding his sex life was TMI, and I would have thought the same thing even if he was straight. This wasn't quite 3 stars for me, but I'll round up because he clearly had a story to tell.

[Agostinho Barros · Rating 4 out of 5]

O livro "Especial" de Ryan O'Connell é uma obra autobiográfica que explora a visão millenium dos jovens da atualidade. Explorando a sua história de nascença com paralisia cerebral, Ryan fala do seu crescimento, amadurecimento e a forma como lida com a vida adulta. Desde a procura de um trabalho, passando por estágios não remunerados (algo muito comum na atualidade), até os próprios acidentes físicos (atropelamento) e emocionais (vício em drogas). A obra fala de como é ser um jovem gay com paralisia cerebral e as dificuldades que encontram para ter uma vida sexual ativa. Trata-se de um livro que pode colocar os mais jovens pensarem na vida a nas atitudes que têm ao longo dela. Tudo é um aprendizado, e há que tirar um ensinamento de todo o mal e bem que fazemos com a nossa vida e tentar seguir em frente e não deixar-se mergulhar num buraco sem fundo. Com momentos hilariantes e de comédia, é uma obra de fácil e rápida leitura.

[Matt Ockmond · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just seemed like the author is unaware of what might interest someone in reading this book. A gay man with cerebral palsy gets hit by a car and decides to let people believe his physical issues are from the car accident to have some time without the stigma he's lived with his whole life. Sound interesting? Well, get ready to read about what it's like to INTERN AT A MAGAZINE, or WRITE FOR A WEBSITE! I still have hope for the show that is adapted from it, but I did not enjoy the book.

[Marcos · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this autobiographical book, O'Connell talks about his life as a disabled gay man (he has cerebral palsy), about his generation and what he learned through the experience of not letting people limit him and say what he could or couldn't do.

I expected something really funny, because the series on Netflix, made me laugh a lot. And I must say, Ryan O'Connell, did a great job because I didn't let myself down. You're not moved by the story because Ryan is disabled or has been hit by a car, but because he says things that we, who feel so special, don't understand or haven't had someone to tell us.

O'Connell is a very self-conscious author, which makes him the perfect writer to give voice to the millennial generation because self-consciousness is not always a trait widely attributed to millennials.

During some of the stories, I was thinking, "Yes! I do it all the time". And the best of all is that, unlike the boomers, it makes you feel good to be who you are, after all, we are the Y generation, the millennium generation, the internet generation.

Special is a short and delicious book to simply dive in and relax. It has adult content, so if it bothers you, jump out. Otherwise, I recommend it, as long as you're not afraid to laugh at yourself (because you'll identify with something and/or someone in the book). I recommend it to anyone who wants to have fun while also thinking about their choices in life.

Curiosity: the author of this book is the same screenwriter of the Special series, by Netflix. Besides, he plays the main character: Ryan Hayes. The series is great, funny, and makes you watch it all at once. And when it's over, you feel like cursing Netflix on Twitter and asking for another season ASAP.

[Giuseppe D · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book felt like a very long blog post or a very short book, you decide. I found it funny in the beginning and also insightful but then it became a bit repetitive. I'm still going to try the tv show, it's probably a better format for the content.

[Morris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not sure how the work of Ryan O’Connell has not come across my screen before, but if any articles he has written are half as good as “I’m Special”, then I need to read them all. The book is not only hilarious, but also true, and explains so much about the millennial generation.

Mr. O’Connell is a very self-aware individual, which makes him the perfect writer to put a voice to the millennial generation, because self-awareness is not always a trait widely attributed to them/us. I’m a generation straddler, so half of it seemed to apply to myself or my parents, and the other half seemed to apply to every friend and relative I have who is younger. During some of the stories I was actually saying out loud, “That’s me! I do that all the time!” It should probably be embarrassing that I had that reaction, because every time it was because of something weird, quirky, and/or off-putting, but it is what it is. He makes it feel ok to be the way we are.

“I’m Special” has quite a bit of rather adult content, so if that bothers you it is probably not a good fit. Otherwise, as long as you aren’t afraid to laugh at yourself (because you will identify with someone in the book), I recommend it to anyone looking to be entertained while also being made to think about their life choices.

This review is based upon a complimentary copy provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Ádrian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Não recomendado para menores de 16 anos.

Ryan é um millennial gay e com paralisia cerebral e narra sua trajetória até a chocante descoberta de que ele não é o centro do universo.

Especial tem uma narrativa divertida e leve que flui muito bem, fazendo com que o leitor o leia sem nem perceber, são 224 páginas que passam voando por mais que alguns capítulos se tornem levemente tediosos.

No início da leitura eu estava amando por não ser mais uma autobiografia de alguém que já sofreu muito e agora tá escrevendo algo motivacional, o livro segue nessa linha até um pouco mais da metade e isso resulta em uma escrita hilária que rende boas risadas e que mesmos assim da pra se tirar alguma lição.

O problema é que dá metade pra frente essa mesma narrativa se mantendo do mesmo jeito acaba por prejudicar o livro e transmitir uma aparência de auto-ajuda que torna meio entediante, aí não há ironia que salve.

Ryan é uma pessoa maravilhosa e muito do que ele narra criticando os millennials é feito de uma maneira ótima, são esses pequenos percalços que fazem com que, para mim, o livro não seja tão bom assim, mas também não seja ruim. Também acredito que o fato de eu não ser um millennial e não me identificar com metade das coisas ditas ali tenha prejudicado a leitura, isso é totalmente culpa minha, mas não deixa de ser algo que tenha prejudicado a experiência para mim.

[Patricia Lima · Rating 2 out of 5]

O Ryan coloca comédia em todas as situações descritas no livro, por mais tensa e ruim que fossem, ele sempre procura levar na comédia esses acontecimentos, então o livro possui partes bem engraçadas.

Outra coisa também característica desse livro e que ele é meio que motivacional, em cada um desses acontecimentos o Ryan busca passar uma mensagem importante pra nós leitores sobre o que ele aprendeu com aquilo, e como nós também podemos levar isso pra nossa vida.

E eu achei isso bem bacana, você vai encontrar muitas reflexões no livro baseadas nas experiências dele.

Porém apesar de eu estar curtindo o começo do livro, depois da metade eu não fiquei tão interessada no que ele estava contando, então a leitura acabou sendo no geral bem entediante pra mim.

Na verdade eu estava com uma expectativa bem diferente pra esse livro, apesar de ler já sabendo que era uma autobiografia, eu pensei que era um romance, com uma historinha e tal, mas são só relatos, não tem diálogos no livro.

Outra coisa que me incomodou também, é que ele usa muitos palavrões ele é muito explicito em muitas coisas, e eu estava achando que o livro ia ser aquela história fofa e tal, então por isso me decepcionei durante a leitura.

E daí eu fui ver a série de tv que ele fez na Netflix, o Ryan é o ator que interpreta ele mesmo, e foi então que eu encontrei o que eu estava buscando.

Na série nós temos sim uma história, que acaba sendo fofa de certo modo, como eu esperava, ela é muito diferente do livro, tem personagens fictícios, e tem acontecimentos inventados também. Ela só é inspirada no Ryan.

Então por conta disso eu gostei muito mais da série do que do livro.

[Doug · Rating 3 out of 5]

Update, 5/30/2019:

As you can see from my original review below from 3.5 years ago, I wasn't terribly enamored of Ryan's book, per se. However, I just finished binge-watching at one sitting the entire first season of his new Netflix show based on such - and it is HILARIOUS, and everything the book isn't. My recommendation is to skip the book, and just enjoy the show!

Original review:
Granted I am several decades beyond the Millennial generation this book is aimed at, but I thought it would be interesting to read the perspective of a young gay disabled individual. Some of it was fun and funny, but most of it was pretty mediocre and reminded me of the platitudes in any Oprah-inspired self=help book.

[Lukas · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I honestly have mixed feelings about this book. It sometimes is incredibly funny and relatable and sometimes it just seems annoying and narcissistic. I obviously couldn't relate to everything because of some cultural differences although it was very interesting to read about this point of view. It was often very crude but always refreshingly honest. I especially liked those moments of prespective and wider reflection. The strongest moment of the book was the end and I wish more of the book was like it. Because of these moments when you read something and it just connects with you on a deeper level and make sense, I thought it was a great read.

[Mónica BQ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm on a roll with these books read because of Netflix shows xD

And I'm liking them.
I'm Special read more like a collection of essays than it does like a novel. But I actually really dig it here. The book is hilarious. I wasn't expecting to like a memoir so much and I kind of read it because it felt like the right thing to do before watching the show, almost like a chore. Instead I breezed through it while having really full days at work and enjoyed it immensely.

[Loredana · Rating 4 out of 5]

4,5/5 🌟

In this kind of memoir Ryan O'Conell is telling about his life as a gay handicaped men, he talks about his generation and what he learned through experience.

This book will be one of my favorite of the year for sure ! It made me laugh and moved me. I was not moved because Ryan is handicaped or got a car accident but because what he is saying is universal and we are not special. It is a short and delicious book to just dive in and relax.

[fer · Rating 3 out of 5]

100% millennials culture

[Philip · Rating 4 out of 5]

Highly recommend the audiobook - Ryan O’Connell’s memoir is quirky, fun and unapologetic; his audiobook performance is so undeniably delightful - I may have deep snorted at least three times.

[Rita Zerbinatti · Rating 5 out of 5]

De forma absolutamente direta, com um tom sarcástico que simplesmente adorei, o Ryan conta sobre sua vida e sobre ser um millennial. Como temos praticamente a mesma idade, me identifiquei com muuuuita coisa e refleti bastante, especialmente sobre assuntos dos quais eu tenho nenhuma vivência: como ser gay, por exemplo, ou ter paralisia cerebral. Ou usar drogas. Ler sobre isso fez com que me despertasse um outro olhar, não somente para homossexuais ou pessoas com paralisia cerebral, mas para todos ao meu redor. Cada um de nós carregamos bagagens, algumas estão com o zíper quebrado e cheia de coisas que queremos esquecer e deixar pra trás, outras contém tantas coisas valiosas e não queremos perdê-las em nenhum terminal. A questão é que nunca teremos uma vivência igual a de outra pessoa, acredito que o mais importante é aceitar todas as diferenças e semelhanças, tentar um ajudar o outro no que for possível. É importante tentarmos ao menos entender um pouco do que o outro carrega, independente das diferenças, até pq se analisarmos a fundo nossas bagagens, acharemos algumas peças muito parecidas.

Enfim, são muitos pensamentos sobre esse livro, não vou escrever todos nesse momento, mas deixo aqui minha recomendação.

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I feel strange looking at their photos like I’m supposed to have found my tribe, because I don’t feel a kinship with them at all. It’s that feeling that I’m not disabled enough to identify with other people who have handicaps but also not “normal” enough to pass in the able-bodied world."

I inhaled this book in a single day. Special, the show based on this book, holds a - well - special place in my heart ever since it first came out. Being white and cishet, I never really thought about lacking representation of myself in media. And then I watched the first five minutes of Special and instantly went "Oh. Oh. That's me. This guy is me. I haven't seen myself on TV before actually. I needed this."

So I finally got around to reading the actual autobiography 3 years later and all the same feelings came rushing back but tenfold. Thousandfold. Ryan talks about living with CP in a way that mirrors my own thoughts on it to a T with all the joys of internalized ableism and the self-perception issues and the need of the outside world to pity you.

It's witty, it's clever and it shows what it really, truly means to be disabled when you're not the poster image for inspiration porn. I'll most likely keep coming back to this book. And I'll have to rewatch the show.

[Hanifa Yasmeen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not exactly what I was expecting it to be based on the title and the blurb and I'm not sure if that's an entirely good thing. If I could choose one word to describe it, it would be 'Millenial' and that it truly is. Some of the sections in the book I could truly relate to and found comfort in, especially the chapters on unemployment and unpaid internships, that being said, most of the other chapters felt a little too explicit for my taste. Maybe I'm not the right audience for this content, given the vast cultural and geographical differences. But I'd give the writing this, it was transparent and honest. There was no sense of superiority or superficiality - every sentence was honest and it showed that the prime goal of the author was to make the reader relate to the content. In that sense, in some places it really felt like I was reading a really long blog post. But as a young adult struggling to find her way in this world, a lot of the words in the book did make complete sense and did provide a clearer outlook on some frustrating aspects of life, and I'm thankful for that.

[Anna · Rating 1 out of 5]

Oh boy, was I disappointed. I've never heard about Ryan O'Connell before and based on some great tumblr quotes choose to read his book. Guess what, all the quotes you can read for free here turned out to be the best parts of this book. What a shame.
In general I got a very strange idea of Ryan in my head. He's not a pleasant person, quite arrogant and really close-minded. His thoughts made me sick and the way he describes the whole generation of 20 smth based on his own experience is disturbing.
What can I say, looks like he cared more about being in trend than actually writing something worthy.

[Sleepless Dreamer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oops, I'm not in my twenties yet. What am I doing, reading this book?

[Karen N. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ryan O’Connell is a great writer with such a great sense of humor. I did watch his Netflix show first, which introduced me to his book. And I loved both! The irony is the book highlights on disability and homosexuality, but I really didn’t feel that’s what this book is all about. Ryan goes through the same struggle in his 20’s as any able-bodied individual would. I find his struggles really relatable. While it may be more difficult to live through life with cerebral palsy and being gay, he pretty much experiences all the thing a young adult does. When it comes down to it, this book is really about self-love: not lying to others to be accepted and to fit in, not trying to hustle friendships for the sake of not wanting to be alone, and not being self-destructive in order to numb your emotions. The way Ryan woke up to his self-destruction and what motivated him to come out of is really unique. Despite what he went through in his 20’s, Ryan is a self-aware individual at heart. The book came in full circle at the end, especially with the idea of being special.

One thing to note, I did find myself a little weary towards the end, starting at the last third of the book. I wasn’t sure where the story was going with all his self destructive behaviors, but when it gets to the end, his point is made... which changed my view entirely. So what I’m saying is stick through the book to the end and you’ll see why.

Other readers have criticized about the egocentrism. But to point out, isn’t that what’s part of being a millennial, a blogger and writing a memoir are about? LOL. If anything, it just shows how brilliant the writer is about making those ideas work out.

[Ashlie aka The Cheerbrarian · Rating 5 out of 5]

CBR Bingo - Rainbow Flag

Ryan O'Connell is a gay man with mild cerebral palsy that was hit by a car, hired as a writer for Thought Catalog, had a drug problem, and now has successfully published a book telling the sordid, thoughtful and funny de
tails of his life. And, even better news for him, is that this book was adapted as a show on Netflix, which premiered in April. I couldn't imagine a better pick for Rainbow Flag as his identity (including his sexuality) is on display and is quintessential to the success.

This book is at the same time both an ode and a takedown of the twenty-something millennial. He skewers himself, and his generation, for the expectation that they are owed something from this life, and perhaps spoiled in the process, but also gives thoughtful insight into how they (he) came to be this way. He describes his generation as free to explore, to question, to be, whereas his parents were pigeon-holed in by narrow options and parents that wanted them to obey the status quo.

As a thirty something (if I'm honest, closer to forty something) I found this book a little distant from my experience, but certainly relatable. I didn't have any of the struggles that O'Connell has faced, but he doesn't see his experiences as...dare I say it, special, but rather just his journey so even if you aren't a recovering pill addict with cerebal palsy at its core its a story about growing up, learning, and struggling in the modern world.

Oh, and it is hilaaaaaarious. The audiobook is read by him and I don't normally laugh out loud for books, but he got me on a number of occassions. Also, vulgar and at times explicit, so not everyone's cup of tea, but one I will be recommending to a certain subset of pals.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book after watching the Netflix series and was not disappointed! The book is largely different than the series, following Ryan’s actual life rather than the story inspired by some events in his life that the show follows. Ryan discusses his struggles living as a gay man with cerebral palsy, but the book is far from unrelatable due to his unique experiences. He captures the universal experiences of millennials in their twenties in a funny and heart warming way, a comfort that you are not alone in the uncertainty of this chapter of life. I really appreciated his honesty in this book, going into great detail about awkward sexual experiences, unemployment and his drug addictions. I am a sucker for listening to audiobooks written and performed by the authour, and felt like I was in the room hanging out him him. My only wish was that this book was longer! Relatable and entertaining read.

[Meera Nair · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this nonfiction title, Ryan O'Connell talks about the millennial experience by recounting personal anecdotes. He enunciates that ours is a generation that considers themselves special and different from others. While this book is autobiographical in nature with the author sharing his story, it also works as a self-help book as it compels us to reflect on our thoughts and actions. Themes such as money, substance abuse, sexuality and employment are woven into the narrative in an attempt to define what it is like to be a millennial.

There's a lot to this book that you'd be able to connect with. Moreover, the dry humor that permeates every chapter makes the writing all the more engaging. It does not take away from the seriousness of certain topics, but also conveys them in a manner that enhances one's understanding of the worldly truths contained within the passages.

If you've been on the fence about reading nonfiction, you should consider giving this a try.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I have cerebral palsy and little sprinklings of brain damage so…im not only special in the delicate snowflake type of way, I’m also riding the short bus special” Ryan has such a way of bringing humor to the things we are so scared to laugh or joke about. While dealing with cerebral palsy, he doesn’t let that be the thing that holds him back or defines him. This book was so refreshing and just one of those books that make you feel like ‘phew! I might not know what’s going on with my life but looks like neither does anyone else so if he turned out ok, I think I will too’

[Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love the Netflix show based off this memoir so I had to check out the source material. There are some good nuggets in here (most made the show), and I like the framing of the book. While there are a few heartfelt takeaways I was slightly put off by Ryan’s seemingly forced millennial speak. This could be a stylistic choice because most of his character’s dialogue in the show speaks the same way, but it makes me wince more often than not.

[Maria Fernanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

2,5 estrelas
acho que a série de TV funciona melhor como humorística (apesar de eu ter rido lendo o livro), mas o que mais me incomodou foi o que a pegada de ser uma "experiência genérica dos 20 e poucos de um millenial" era só uma vivência americanizada. tudo girava em torno de ele ser branco, classe média e poder correr o risco de as coisas darem muito errado, no geral é uma história interessante mas não marcante

[Erica · Rating 2 out of 5]

I highly recommend the Netflix series based on this book, Special. The author stars in the series. It's the interesting and funny story of a gay man with cerebral palsy, and his mom. His CP presents a lot of challenges and stigma in his life and gay is mostly the fun part. The original book, this book, is bit too much about face creams and outfits and internships for me.

[Joy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5

I listened to the audiobook, read by the author. It was very funny, it made me laugh out loud in public. I really agree with the review that said it felt like a “short book or a long blog post”. I disagreed with a lot of Ryan’s generalizations about millennials but still found the book somewhat relatable.