She's Strong, but She's Tired (Volume 3)

by R.H. Sin

From New York Times bestselling author r.h. Sin, an ode to the women who have chosen to fight for themselves.

A poetic documentation of pain, loneliness, courage, and triumph.

Genres: Poetry, Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Health, Romance, Adult, Contemporary

432 pages, Paperback

First published September 20, 2020

Reviews

[Ella · Rating 1 out of 5]

0

The poems are sooo repetitive and they are barely even poems in the first place. They sound like the paragraphs about cheesy and cringe worthy romance on Pinterest that my grade school heart would melt over.

[Randomgirl · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is so bad. It not only objectifies women, but I can't escape the vivid image of the author with a fedora and a neckbeard saying "I'm not like the other guys". The poems are so repetitive (case in point his poems to single mothers) and essentially all boil down to "women are so strong, but also stupid, because they are with bad guys and *allowing* guys to do bad things to them". It's painful how much victim blaming occurs through this book and I honestly wish I had never picked it up.

[elise · Rating 1 out of 5]

the short review

okay imagine if tumblr spat out autogenerated fortune cookies, and the fortunes were based off of those pics with like one line of #edgy #depressed text. and also if it was weirdly misogynistic and a little bit alpha-male-esque. yeah!

•••

the long review

i picked this up because it was cute and small and had fun paper. i have this problem where if i see a cute, small book while leaving the library, i MUST grab it, and i don’t even glance at a word of it before leaving. sometimes it works out great!

and other times it results in an unnecessarily long review that i type out on my phone at midnight.

hey, sometimes contemporary poetry gets a bad rap. and often, it’s polarizing. but i’ll always give books a fair shot! for example, rupi kaur tends to fall in that passionate love/hate category, but i thought milk and honey was alright!

ah, but she’s strong, but she’s tired? SHE’S STRONG BUT SHE’S ALSO GIGGLING THROUGH ALL 400+ PAGES OF THIS ATROCITY LOL I HAVEN’T READ SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN A HOT MINUTE (i came prepared with receipts too, so bear with me).

let’s get into it!

gender and perspective, aka the immediate ick factor
i did not expect this to be written by a man. perhaps this author was a victim of stereotyping, where i assumed that a poetry book about relationships, with a rather feminine cover, had to be written by a woman.

or maybe it’s because it’s weirdly set up to sound like it was written by a woman??? maybe that was not the intention, but it seems to continuously take the perspective of women—and the subject of this collection is solely women. r.h. sin often employs second person pronouns, and i thought (before discovering it was a male author) that the intention was to do that self-deprecating thingy where you say “you _____” but the “you” is actually just the author. but no. this is either r.h. sin stepping into the shoes of a woman, or just, lecturing all women? it’s so weird.

and not only is it just centered on women, it’s specifically centered on the idea that all women are fragile :( and make poor relationship decisions :( because idk they’re like rain and fall or whatever :( and that’s why they have achey hearts :( because they choose the wrong people :( BUT!!!! fear not :) women are beautiful :) fragile fragile little deer

OH BUT IT GETS BETTER

not only are women fragile and dumb, but ALL MEN ARE AWFUL. so NATURALLY, our narrator is god-like.

seriously, it’s weird. every time men are mentioned, it’s about them being awful, but it’s super pointed, and usually about fathers. here!!! here’s where the receipts come in!! may i provide you with some examples:

“the irony of it all is that your father left you vulnerable to men who were just as weak as he is”

“your father half-asses everything, but you accept it”

“i wish your father tried harder”

“i think my wife’s father blames me for the fracture in their foundation”

“my wife’s big brother seems so small”

my dude! my man! my guy! it sounds like you’re the one with daddy issues! oh dear!

i did research (shh i just used a wiki page but whatever)
so i thought: surely i’m just being mean. this poor author caught me on a bad day. i am critical, but not this critical!

so in my desperate attempt to understand, i did a little googling. i saw something about satirical poetry, which would quite frankly make a lot more sense, but alas. i do not think that is the case here.

i also saw something about instagram poetry which…yeah. that checks out, especially since most of the poems were only a line or two! perfect size to fit in a lil square :)

formatting (insert more giggles here)
ah yes. as i said, most of the poems were only a line or two. hey, sometimes that works! and sometimes it just reads like strange preachy words of wisdom that some man came up with to save all the stupid broken women.

also, why were the pages like that lol

i was confused at first what counted as a “poem” until i looked at the index at the end. each poem had its own page, even if it was only a sentence. however, these poems all had a line above them—sometimes there was a title above the line, and sometimes there wasn’t. i couldn’t tell then if each poem without a title was just a continuation of the page with the title, or if r.h. sin was pulling an emily dickinson and not titling the poems. there’s nothing wrong with not titling poems, but the random line on every page was very confusing and I Felt A Funeral In My Brain (haha, get it?) trying to comprehend why that was necessary.

the poems
oh no this review is getting really long and now i feel like i’ve let this awful poetry overpower me and my time. so let me just drop some of the poems here and let them speak for themselves. all of the quotes here are FULL poems (aka they had their own page—nothing else was on the page but these words):

“You have a password for everything except your heart and mind.” (lol)
“Everyone has baggage. Pack lighter next time.”
“fuck it / you tried / you fought / it hurt / move on”
“plot twist, she was better without him”
“he offered her the stars / in exchange for the moon / and she said no” (SHE SAID NO I LOVE THIS ENDING AHAHA)
“What happens to your dreams when you can’t sleep.” (it’s the period instead of the question mark for me)
“You’re trying to fit real feelings into fraudulent relationships. Stop.” (loving the “stop”)
“some will fall / you will stand”
“sometimes you get better / sometimes you’re just different”
“he’s been your nightmare / wake up”
“forever is fractured by lies and betrayal”
“the saddest eyes i’ve ever seen / belonged to a woman / surrounded by friends / in a nightclub” (i feel like this guy needs to leave women alone)
“move on / fuck him / be brave”
“you lose her trust / you lose your future”
“you’re extraordinary / stay away from mediocre men / who only wish to waste your time”
“but you’re trying to give your heart / to someone who is only interested in your body / don’t” (~don’t~)
“he made you cold / then complained / about the weather”

okay i’m sorry i’m sorry. i had a lot of free time tonight. no more! goodnight!

[Randi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm immediately skeptical of a man who writes poetry from the POV of a woman. In 2022? In THIS society? No. Also, aside from that, this was so bland, repetitive, and cringy. I think he scrolled Pinterest and assumed he could make a book of it. Very insulting and belittling of the actual female experience.

[Brittany Richards · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love his poetry on Instagram. The book is just as good. Hard to read because a lot of it hits home. Still, super emotional but good read.

[Lauredhel · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unfortunately this one was really pretty terrible. At first I thought this was a woman using 2nd person to talk about her own experience, but no it's 400 pages of a man berating women for not leaving their abusers. Very repetitive - about 20 pages of content stretched - and deeply uninspired. I'm left with the impression of a Nice Guy(tm) just wondering what's wrong with women that they don't want him.

[Jessi ❤️ H. Vojsk [if villain, why hot?] · Rating 4 out of 5]

saying sorry
does not shake the fear
nor does it remove
the scars of anguish

an apology
does not end
the suffering
in the mind

[Shivani · Rating 4 out of 5]

https://lostinabookstore.wordpress.co...

This book of poetry is very special. It's to be read in a time in your life when experiencing heartbreak or deep sadness and regret. The poems in here do more than comfort the reader, but empower them, gently nudge them in the right direction to the difficult decisions they should make when they're feeling this way. What I liked about this collection was that the poems felt very personal, but also broad enough to be relatable to the readers. The title fit these works spot on because each poem held a certain exhaustive tone in a way that didn't downplay the strength that exists within each woman. In most cases when I read poetry, it's pretty rare that I love all the poems or even a majority of them. The same thing occurred while reading this book. I really enjoyed the title-less short poems that were placed strategically between heavier, longer poems. Even though these poems are simple, it's the simplicity that makes them unique and powerful on their own. The thing I didn't like about a lot of the longer poems was that many of them were very repetitive. I understand that the themes in the book have to be tied together so that one cohesive piece is created, however, I felt like the same message of being strong and separating yourself from someone you love who isn't right or good to you can only be written in so many different ways until it all sounds the same. Despite this, as a collective piece, the writing got better as I kept reading and I felt like it was something everyone should read. It's a reminder of self care, self love, and self appreciation. 

[Arianna Murray · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book radiates written by a man with a savior complex

[Lorraine Tan · Rating 2 out of 5]

This poetry book clearly lacks structure, elegance, vocabulary & the necessary essence of poetry. It’s way too “modernised” and the poems are completely random + vague. I had such high hopes for this book, but to no avail. I wish this book possessed more dept and poetic techniques. I’m incredibly disappointed by this grade school writing and execution.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is not poetry.
This is 425 pages of a man degrading women for their poor choices and turning them into fragile objects.
At first, I thought this was written by a woman, but it's a man trying to speak from a woman’s point of view about single parenting, abuse, and heartbreak.
0 stars

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I don’t think the pain ever leaves it lives and lives until you find the courage to recycle into strength”


I give this book 5⭐️
This poetry book was beautiful!

[ana · Rating 2 out of 5]

this was basically just 400 pages of cheesy advice and like 5% actual poetry

[Marge Moen · Rating 5 out of 5]

@rhsin thank you for this

[Carli Clymer · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. A lot of nice poems in there. A majority are about heartbreak and toxic relationships, but there are a lot that aren’t as well.

[Kade Gulluscio · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tihs is book three in R.H. Sin's series. This was the longest in the series honestly, and I felt like there was a lot of repetitive poems / pieces in this one. Same with the last one. But in between the repetition, there were some great pieces such as these;

-"single mothers. just because you share a child doesn’t give him domain over your life just because he’s the father of your child doesn’t mean you are obligated to allow him the power to dictate your emotions there is a way for him to father his child without compromising your peace of mind set boundaries, set rules be the Queen that you are and demand that he follow those guidelines just because you share a child doesn’t mean you have to share yourself or share in part of his misery"

-"
i don’t think the pain ever leaves it lives and lives until you find the courage to recycle it into strength"

-"What you tolerate is what they’ll continue to give."

-"I’d rather you fall in love with the parts of me that no one cares to know. Only then would you truly understand what it means to love me."

[Britt Fitts · Rating 3 out of 5]

I initially picked up this book just due to the title, "She's Strong, but She's Tired." I think many, many people relate. We are strong, but we are exhausted. R.H. Sin has some interesting things to say in it. I enjoyed many of the poems very much, but there were some that just didn't rub quite the right way. He covers a lot of what he believes to be common experiences for women. There were a few poems that I felt could have been left out because he had basically said the same thing in other poems in this book. I would spend more time with this book, picking through to revisit some of the poems I really enjoyed or some that just evoked certain emotions.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
★★★☆☆
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
"he offered her the stars
in exchange for her moon
and she said no"
-R.H. Sin, "She's Strong, but She's Tired"

[Camila Rivera · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wish I has read this 5 years ago. I see a lot of criticism about the author being a man writing about women being broken hearted, but personally I think he did a good job at empathizing and being respectful. I didn’t think it was condescending or any less meaningful just because r.h Sin is a man.

A lot of the poems are repetitive, but that’s very normal with this kind of poetry. In a way I think it works for this book because it serves as a constant reminder of the message we should take away from here, which is that we don’t need relationships that hold us back and that we can have enough love and strength for ourselves just on our own. That’s something I think anyone could hear more often.

[Anick Berger · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ayoye… Tumblr core bonjour. And that’s why men should not write about WOMEN’S feelings like they understand us.

He also doesn’t think he’s shit huh?

“while other poets wish
to only show off their ability
to use words you'll never understand
or to reference ideas too complex
for even themselves

i choose to speak to you
and your heart

while the other writers
are prisoners of their vanity
and pursuit of fame

i'm running after you
trying to prevent you
from throwing your life away
for a lover who will never love you”

Like, what?

Il se prend genre pour un livre de développement personnel, c’est pas des poèmes.

[yifei · Rating 1 out of 5]

the super repetitive, cliche, and laughable "poetry" went wrong as soon as a pick-me, mediocre man with a super-hero complex thought he could write "poetry" for and about women. in other words, it was shit from the beginning.

i hate myself for buying this book. i hate myself even more for buying the sequel without reading this one first.

i would give it a zero, but that's not possible, so i give it a one.
sike. i give it 0.5/5 stars

[Katlyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am just getting out of an almost decade long relationship… and this collection of poems has helped me so much. I tabbed practically every page. And kept taking pictures of certain entries and sending them to my best friends.

The fact that the author is a man actually astounded me. He has done such a fine job of describing heartbreak and what a woman feels and goes through.

I can’t wait to read more of his writing.

[Isabella Chiovitti]

There are some incredible poems in this collection that truly speak to the essence of a woman’s love and subsequently, her pain. Certainly inspired me multiple times and I am confident that this could touch everyone in some way.
However, it is painfully repetitive. After the first 100 pages, the author just repeats versions of the same poems with added filler words.
Would have been better as a more concise version instead of being >400 pages long.

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

ima be so honest i feel like this one only hit so much because i related to a lot of it. If you’ve ever had your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on by a boy or been in a toxic relationship, then there will definitely be some of these words that hit and hurt so deeply. However, I do feel like if you don’t relate as much then I can see why it wouldn’t be as good of a read.

[Stephanie Nelson · Rating 2 out of 5]

A man telling a woman how she should feel in 300+ different ways. Yeehaw.

[Mandi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has some really great pieces in it and I was able to connect and relate to what I read. I highly recommend this to anyone who likes poetry and has experienced heartbreak and feeling broken.

[Carly dempsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think it’s more of a 4.5. This book really resonates with me and it completely spoke to me. I love the authors idea to speak directly to the reader, to connect to them. It overall was a good book, sad, but good.

[Sheriffer · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 ⭐️s. not bad at all. there are some gems in this which will remain with me for a while. but for the most part, this poetry collection was extremely repetitive and some of the “poems” were just cliché, cheesy and even cringey at times (as is the case with most modern self help poetry). It could’ve been edited down to 200 pages or less instead of being 400 pages, imo.

There were a lot of generalizations which I didn’t care for. I got the impression that the author had not experienced a lot of what he was writing about (obviously), he is a man writing about women’s experiences in toxic relationships.

[Carly G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Let's just say 2019 me NEEDED this and would have absolutely loved it. The subject matter of these poems, regarding romantic and familial relationships, was on things I have experienced and related to heavily. I think that's why I enjoyed this collection so much. I also have enjoyed R.H. Sin's other works that I have read and this one was up there for me. I do think some of them were repetitive and cringy, but I enjoyed this book as a whole.

[Ellen Williams · Rating 2 out of 5]

Extremely redundant. The book started off strong and then became 300 pages more than it needed to be. I think the intent of the message was well meaning & perhaps it has helped some. This book was 400 pages of mansplaining to women how to leave unhealthy, abusive, &/or toxic relationships with little knowledge of the complexities of domestic violence & the life threatening danger victims are in when trying to leave abusive relationships.

[Ysabel Say · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has some good incentive and is a good long pep talk from a firm and loving friend to get out of unhealthy, destructive relationships with people who treat you like shit. The poems are a bit repetitive towards the end but there are lots of good messages and inspiration.

My fave poem is:

move on
fuck him
be brave

(p142)

Simple, concise, straight to the point 😂