I've read a few of Bukowski's books over the years and always hesitated on rating them because I was always so conflicted as to how I felt. I thought, if I give this bastard 5 stars, is that condoning the fact that he's a misogynistic prick? I've finally decided that no, by enjoying his work, it doesn't mean that I too am a Bukowski in the making. I mean, I've read plenty of books about the holocaust and it doesn't mean I champion genocide.
I also have no excuse for finding bad boys attractive. It's a vile trait of mine. I don't go, oh wow, he only sees me as a piece of arse THEREFORE I AM HOT FOR HIM. But I certainly find dishevelled, messed up men fascinating. Like Hank Moody from Californication, somewhat a parallel of Bukowski - except infinitely more attractive.
Reading Bukowksi's poems are like reading his thoughts scratched down onto a beer-stained napkin, or like reading his diary. Alcoholic snippets where women are commodities (or likened to mares) and his rather mundane life is jotted down in a drawling tone. You can feel Bukowski in every single line. You feel like you know him inside-out, he's a simple man.
His poetry is different to most poetry that I've read. Observations rather than shit that you have to pull apart to understand. As he says himself in "our deep sleep"
Our current moderns
leave me quite
unsatisfied
there is neither lean nor
fat in their efforts, no pace,
no gamble, no joy.
It's work reading them, hard
work.
there is much pretense
and even some clever con
behind their production.
(our deep sleep)
His writing is never pretty, it's rough around the edges and bitter as whiskey in the centre. There's never any soft light filtering through the curtains, or sensuous curves of a woman's body, just;
"I wake up with a stiff neck instead of a stiff
dick and
you."
(the hog in the hedge)
But also, there is so much that I identify with;
"I walked miles through the city and recognized
nothing as a giant claw ate my
stomach while the inside of my head felt
airy as if I was about to go
mad."
(fingernails, nostrils, shoelaces)
&
people ask, "why do you
jump when the telephone
rings?"
if they don't know
you can't tell them
(sadness in the air)
Bukowski is like icecream except minus the sweetness. He's like icecream because you know he's bad for you. You read him guiltily when nobody else is looking so you don't have to defend your actions. He's just so good that you don't want to read him all at once, so you start with taking a bite here and there, but you end up devouring the whole fucking thing. Except with icecream I get diarrhea and vomit a lot because I can't eat dairy. Though I'm presuming a good morning for Bukowski would have involved similar, so there's parallels all over the place.
Sure, he mistreated women, he saw them as commodities and pieces of arse rather than an equal. Anyone who's read Bukowski is well aware of how he views women but he also seemed happy to admit his shortcomings. Not in a prideful way but almost, as if he didn't understand the way that he was, but he just was. I don't think he hated women so much as women confused the shit out of him, intimidated him and so he kept his distance by being a sexist prick. I still struggle to justify my love of him, as I identify as a feminist so therefore, as a feminist, should I be shirking Bukowski, when all his women are one-dimensional tits n arse cardboard cutouts, needless to mention his callous language towards women and their anatomy. But then he seemed to hate a lot of people; men and women alike. A misanthrope with a womanizing streak? I don't know. I read him, I disagree with him a lot, but I still like to read him. Whether that's something I should be keeping to myself because it makes me a Bad Feminist, I've still yet to decide.
In a poem titled, 'yours' he writes;
"I was a terrible and jealous lover who mistreated
and failed to understand
them and it's best that they are with others now
for that will be better for them and that will be
better for me
so when they phone or write or leave
messages
I will foward them all to their new
fine fellows.
I don't deserve what they have and I want to
keep it that way."
He was a loser and he knew it. A loser who wrote really poignant shit. He's fucking fascinating, as most broken, messed up people are. I'll finish up with my favourite poem of his from this collection.
the old woman
she lived in the last old house
on the block
you know the kind; vine-covered, dark, quiet
her neighbors were gone
nothing but high-rise apartments everywhere
you'd see her two or three times a week
pushing her little shopping cart on its two wheels;
then she'd come back with stuff in bags,
go into the house, and that was
it, she never spoke to anybody
it was last week about 3.30pm
that her house began sliding off its foundation.
it was a very slow slide
and you got the idea that the house was just stepping
forward to take a walk down the street-
except some of the lumber began to snap-
it sounded like rifle shots, and the house moaned just a
little - a dark green moan.
somebody called the fire dept.
and men were running around shutting off the gas
and shouting at each other
and telling the crowd to keep back
and along came one of those television trucks
and they filmed the house
sagging toward the street.
then the front door opened and the little old
lady came out
they put the camera on her and a woman ran up with a
mike.
"how long have you bee living in your house?"
"55 years"
"do you have insurance"
"no"
"what will you do now?"
"go back to Ireland"
then she walked away and left them all just standing there.