What Was I Thinking?: 58 Bad Boyfriend Stories

by Barbara Davilman (Editor), Liz Doberman (Editor)

The stories you are about to read are true. Often hilarious and always relatable, they all describe the moment when good sense and simple self-respect triumph over the human need to be loved—or, at least, the need to be with a particular man. The relationship may not last beyond lunch, or it may linger for weeks, months, or even years. But inside, you know: it’s over.

What Was I Thinking? 58 Bad Boyfriend Stories includes contributions from:

A bullwhip? / Carrie Fisher --
What were they thinking? / Sara Newberry --
Speaking my language / Courtenay Hameister --
Shaking / Francesca Lia Block --
My date with Homer / Sarah Downie --
Opera / Betty Goldstein --
Junk in the trunk / Amy Wruble --
Star light, star bright / Claudia Handler --
The yogi / Kerri Cesene --
Revenge baby / Rhonda Talbot --
The crying game / Laurie Winer --
Butterflies and martinis / Liz Dubelman --
An affair to forget / Maryedith Burrell --
I could have just dyed / Kate Coe --
Under construction / Debbie Cavanaugh --
Smash up / Deborah Rachel Kagan --
Handsome / Bonnie Bruckheimer --
Three shoes / Maira Kalman --
Tats / Jan Worthington --
The idealist / Mary-Margaret Martinez --
The grill / Jeanne Romano --
Norm Crosby syndrome / Lynn Snowden Picket --
Blind date / Rachel Resnick --
Ties / Laura Cella --
Love is dumb / Janice Shapiro and Jessica Wolk-Stanley --
The girl who cried black satin / Hannah Rose Shaffer --
Swedish meatball / Monica Johnson --
Thud / Lisa Napoli --
Pre-med Fred / Amy Friedman --
Signs of doom / MaryJane Morrison --
The forty-year-old loser / Amy Wruble --
We got married / Penny Stallings --
Subtitles / Barbara Davilman --
Products / Geralyn Flood --
Valentine's Day at the psych hospital / Mary Feuer --
Raw sewage / Kara Post-Kennedy --
The unibrow breakup / Judith Dewey --
The cheese stands alone / Darby Clark --
Oh, how we love bad boys / Cindy Chupack --
Bah humbug / Katherine Tomlinson --
Gaydar / Zoe Braverman --
Oddly unhappy for a bride on her wedding day / Nicole Hollander --
When it hit the fan / Hilary Schwartz --
Boys gone wild / Courtney S. --
Dark Bill / Amy Turner --
Video killed the love story / Aimee Cirucci --
And the Matt came back / Tina Dupuy --
Salad bars with no vegetables / Wendy Hammers --
Smitten no more / Kerry Monaghan --
Fantasy ain't reality / Rachel Parenta --
Starter marriage / Michele Gendelman --
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs / Dorit Simone K.F. --
Son of a preacher man / Melinda Culea --
The training wheels of love / Mimi Pond --
Open season / Katherine Ruppe --
Body image / Madeleine Beckman --
A cautionary tale / Liz Dubelman --
I knew it was over--
/ Patricia Marx

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Essays, Memoir, Relationships, Anthologies, Book Club

224 pages, Hardcover

First published February 3, 2009

Reviews

[George Ilsley · Rating 2 out of 5]

An uneven half-baked collection, that only rewards on the odd occasion. I wanted to remember what I liked, but there are so many of these short pieces and they blur.

I notice one of the editors includes her own contribution as the last piece, and that ends this collection on an especially weak note.

[Vanessa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too many pretentious women, not enough truly horrifying moments.

[Janette]

I left my normal YA reading and picked up this book because I thought it would make me laugh, mostly it just made me sad though.

I felt sorry for all the woman who had dated and been treated badly by jerks, but even more, I felt badly that so many women out there dumped guys for such minor offenses. It's as though they all believed that love is something that just happens to you when you find the right person, and not something that two people work on.

Mostly it just made me think about the fact that women shouldn't sleep with guys they don't know very well.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't really do any research on the books I read before I read them. So I had the title and cover to go on for this one, and I was quite surprised. I sort of expected a trashy book dishing on relationships and dating horror stories. What I found was much more human. I quite liked the stories of various women having that moment when they realized that their boyfriend was not the person for them. An experience that spans across different personality types and wants. It was nice to see it as something so...normal and kind of unifying.

[Joanna · Rating 1 out of 5]

For a book expected to be about horrid relationships I found more than a few stories that proved to be shallow endings. Like the women who broke off an engagement because her beloved had slept with less people than she had. In fact, many of the authors just came off as sleazy, crazy, and/or stalkers. The best story in the 191 page book was the last, "I knew it was over when he dumped me." I don't recommend this one-also it killed my desire to date.

[Michelle Morrell · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was hoping for something silly and funny, but only a couple of the 58 stories fit. The rest were bitter and sad, and left me thinking some of those ladies could have avoided everything with a bit more pride and self-worth. I don't think people deserve to be treated like crap, but I do think there was a lot of "you reap what you sow."

[Banilla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyed this book. Found it while wandering random aisles at the library. Not so much about loser boyfriends as it is about the women and the things they learned about themselves. Read it in less than 2 days. I may have to buy it, so I can read it again.

[Lakecia Allison · Rating 1 out of 5]

If I could give this book a 0 star rating....I WOULD! I kept hoping it would get better but this book is terrible writing from some weird, shallow women! A whole bunch of boring is what I read. The title should be WTF Was I Thinking Reading This/58 Terribly Boring Stories.

[Margaret Nordahl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Appreciated knowing I'm not the only one! Great book for post break-up. Solidifies one's resolve!

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was better than I expected. I thought the stories would be more like the ones you get now with clickbait: "19 stories of how women realized their boyfriend had a horrible secret" or something like that. And, they kind of were, but a bit more literate. The women were almost all upper middle class and white (anyone nonwhite didn't mention it), and almost all are screenwriters, actors, producers, and/or writers. Most live in NYC or LA. With those credentials, the stories are well written. Most are about that "Aha!" moment when they realized it wasn't working out. A few were for fairly shallow reasons, but mostly they'd been so eager for a partner, or so lustful, that they'd ignored dealbreakers (which are not necessarily the guy's fault) or fatal flaws. Some of the women also seemed to still be overlooking their own flaws. Given the lack of cultural diversity, the book is good as what it is. And a quick and easy read.

[Jillian · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was such a great idea and I was so so disappointed. Stories about relationships and breakups are naturally interesting, but for some reason I found these stories either really silly, really boring, or very poorly written. I didn’t laugh or cry or have any feelings of connectedness to these authors. I’m really bummed because I was looking forward to a book that would make going through a breakup a little easier, but nothing about this compilation felt funny, tender, or engaging. Meh.

[Jen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wasn't funny. Full of several -phobic (trans,inter, homo, ace, sex worker and that's just the first half of the book) wordings that just destroyed any enjoyment reading this might have brought. It's from 2009 so I'm assuming these authors would write differently today with more awareness but that still makes it not enjoyable for me today

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Carrie Fisher's story is the first and the best of all of the stories in this book. Some are a bit funny, but so many are just so sad. Damn, women make terrible decisions just to be in a relationship.

[Sherman Tank · Rating 1 out of 5]

YAWN.... How can you make bad boyfriend stories super boring. Read this book and find out. I thought I would at least laugh some. Nope.... Short stories with no detail or good info. Honestly I just opened it and read a few random stories. That was enough...

[Paige · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of these stories were a little off-putting & very dated, but the flash fiction style was so satisfying! I am just grateful I’ve never dated anyone that glaringly horrific yikes

[Kyle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m sorry but what was I thinking reading this book? Not very good. Sorry. I wanted it so badly to be funny and relatable, but alas it was over the top stories by bad writers. D

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

Misery loves company! These stories about terrible boyfriends you were lucky enough to miss (and some that you were unlucky enough to have dated yourself) are hilarious. Reading about what people will find excuses for is fascinating and seeing them snap out of it is very entertaining. The funny from the first essay, written by Carrie Fisher, you will laugh at some women's unbelievably awful choices and then you will groan when you recognize yourself and the total losers you yourself actually dated.

[MaryAnna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun, quick read.

[Lori · Rating 2 out of 5]

And now something from the "and you think you've had it bad" category...

58 women share anecdotes about truly awful men. We've all done it. This book is somewhat reminiscent of those long nights back in college where you and your girls sat around someone's dorm room, drank way too much contraband liquor and swapped humiliation and hell stories. In other words, this book should have been a lot of fun (as viewed from the relatively safe distance of a 40 something woman married to a decidedly sane, considerate, non-medicated man with no criminal background.)

And there were some highlights that even impressed me -- a woman who is not easily surprised or shocked by stories of this ilk. Having found myself involved with more than one "colorful" character in my day I still need to give props to the guy who told his girlfriend to stay downstairs for 10 minutes because "he had something really special planned" for the evening. The ensuing scenario involving candles and a marital aid certainly provided a Kodak moment. Other putzes, sad sacks, perverts and narcissists abound within the short chapters.

By any standard that one could apply to this type of material, What Was I Thinking should have been a stronger addition to the canon of female commiseration. But, not unlike many books of "mommy" essays I have read, after awhile all of the righteously indignant/appalled women started sounding the same...like writers who live in large metropolitan areas and date the same kind of losers. Although I could relate to their problems I found I had a hard time relating to the women themselves.

I did finish this book in 2 days. And it can be read in very short 2-4 page excerpts. It would be a good beach/vacation read.

[Sarai · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an assortment of first-person essays which tell of that moment in a relationship when you realize that it’s not going to work, no matter how much you want it or need it to, or how much it seems like it should. One example is Lynn Snowden Picket's tale of an ex who orders a “creche” of wine instead of a carafe of wine, because “Hey, Baby. I'm a writer. I play with words.” Or maybe it was that time when your ex bared his bottom and asked you to... you'll have to read the book to find out about that one.

Some of these tales will sound familiar and some are a bit more out there, but there are lessons to be learned from all. The stories are short, running a page to three or four pages long. Very fast read and very funny.

[Alissa Wolf · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book hilarious! It's not your typical "men are jerks" whine fest. Instead, the essays are written from a perspective of taking responsibility for one's foolish choices, with wit, insight and humor. Only one essay is sad, as it was written by a woman with a broken heart. But most of them are very funny. That's not surprising, as many of them were written by women who are either comedians, or comedy writers.

I especially enjoyed the essay written by the author who dated a male porn store back in the 80s, and the one written by a woman who dated a metrosexual guy. I could certainly relate to many of these stories, and thoroughly enjoyed this book.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great anti-romance romp through other womens' mistakes. All I can say is thank goodness the losers depicted by this crowd of women were all in the past tense. I've met a few of these type of guys and I can only say how grateful I am that I never dated any toads more than once.

This would be a great book to give to young women on the dating scene as a primer on what you really--no, really--don't have to put up with. Wish my friends and I had had a copy floating around during our nubile years.

[DelGal · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was expecting this book to have more stories about really bad boyfriends, especially since the cover looks like the woman on it is truly horrified. Yes, some of the stories were horrible, thankfully the poor woman got out of THAT relationship! But other stories where the woman had her moment of clarity where she truly knew her relationship was over, appeared to be quite shallow and vapid. This book could have really been a good read and a shocker had the editors taken the time to find those women with their horror stories, and believe me, they're out there.

[Jesse · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everyone has that moment when you know it's just not meant to be. You may know it at the time, you may only see it with the benefit of hindsight, but we've all had that moment at least once. A variety of women share their stories of when they know the relationship was over.

Some are funny, some are heartbreaking, some are more than just a little pathetic, most are very entertaining. If you've ever swapped bad date stories (I recently swapped 'most awkward date' stories), give this collection a read.

[Rachael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some really great stories that didn't make you feel so alone. Some really sad stories that made you realize you are smarter than you thought. Some really funny stories that you will be able to tell your friends about when they need a boys stink kind of day.
Interesting concept and overall a decent read. Was a bit annoyed with the nook version though because there are a few comic strip stories and the e-reader doesn't see that as font so it wouldn't enlarge it and I could not read them without bugging my eyes out of my head and squinting.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a quick read with some interesting stories, although not much of which I could relate to. Some of the authors annoyed me, breaking up with their boyfriends or husbands for some minor little "flaw" (and I do mean minor). But overall I enjoyed the book, and it was fun to read a story or two at a time. The stories are short, between 2 and 4 pages each, so it's a nice one to carry around with you to read from when you have small pockets of time to spare.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book would be full of funny stories about crazy ex-boyfriends, and some of the stories were really funny, but then some were just sad and/or depressing. Unfortunately with story collections like this you don't know what you're going to get since all the stories are by different people. Overall, it was pretty good, but not great. Although it definitely makes me glad to me happily married!

[Lena Tumasyan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was funny and entertaining but the name is misleading. I would it would be about all the terrible boyfreind stories that women had. But instead it was mostly about the "AHa" moment when the guy says or does something that makes you realize you'll never be with him forever. So the book should be named "The day i knew it was over." Some of the writing was poetic, so i liked that. I also liked the diverse age range and background of the women in the stories.

[Suzanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very uneven read for me. For every hilarious story, there were several that were either depressing or boring. Several of these story-tellers have amazing comedic timing. However, like boyfriends, when they are good, they are very good, but when they are bad, they are horrid. My favorite story was "The Matt Came Back". I appreciated the fact that the narrator so bravely exposed a major personality flaw in order to share her story.

[Courtney · Rating 3 out of 5]

I only read this book during my lunch hour at work. It was entertaining enough for its purpose. Some of the stories were quirky, so I skipped over them. A lot of them were entertaining and just made me go, "Why did they date that jerk?" But this book isn't something I would have brought home to read cover to cover. It was just all right for me.