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I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One
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I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One

4.06  ·  Rating details ·  1,136 ratings  ·  119 reviews
Now there is a hand to hold...
Each year about eight million Americans suffer the death of a close family member. The list of high visibility disasters, human suffering and sudden loss in long and will continue to grow. From TWA Flight 800 to Egypt Air 990, from Oklahoma City to Columbine, daily we face incomprehensible loss. Outside the publicized tragedies there are many
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Paperback, 281 pages
Published January 1st 2000 by Sourcebooks
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Kay Berkley Not really, it is more generic than that and isn't promoting one particular religion. It gives to some stability in your world which is spinning out o…moreNot really, it is more generic than that and isn't promoting one particular religion. It gives to some stability in your world which is spinning out of control after the sudden death of someone you love. I bought it after my sister was killed in a car accident going to get us some lunch. I just had a second death in my family that was premature, my 22 year old great nephew. I haven't finished it yet but I will. I recommend it to anyone in this situation of loosing someone close to you. The book separates myth and reality so you can grieve and know you are not going crazy.(less)

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Average rating 4.06  · 
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 ·  1,136 ratings  ·  119 reviews


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JT
Jul 01, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
My dad died the day before Valentine's Day. He was 52 and his heart just stopped.

Shock is an amazing thing - it let's you get through horrible times without fully feeling the torrent of emotions raging through you. But then shock wears off, and in my case, I had to go back to a city where I don't have family to deal with my grief by myself.

I picked up this book and a couple others hoping to find out that there was an end to the pain I was feeling. There isn't one. But there is a new normal that
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Tom Harrington
Jul 31, 2014 rated it really liked it
Having lost my wife - suddenly, unexpectedly - last month, I found a lot of good helpful information in this book, including helpful exercises to make dealing with this incredibly weird grieving process a bit easier, and a lot more understandable.

However, the book loses one star because the authors certainly push their obvious Christianity down the readers' throats. I found that to be unhelpful to say the least. I realize some people need that sort of thing, but I don't believe it is an integra
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Doug DePew
Jan 25, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I've struggled for months with what appeared to be a mid-life crisis. In researching how to get through it, I tracked the source down to delayed grief. I lost my brother in 1995 and my dad in 2000 in very similar auto accidents. I don't think I ever grieved them properly and it surfaced in my forties. This book is one of the ones I found to address my particular situation.

This is a well written guidebook to carry anyone through the experience of losing a close loved one suddenly. It contains sec
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Michelle Jarvie
Jan 14, 2015 rated it it was amazing
One of the best grief books because it (1) tackles the myths/stereotypes of the grief process and (2) presents different segments for every kind of relationship (friend, spouse, child, parent, etc.). Extremely well-written and thoughtful.
Darcy
Mar 13, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
On March 4th 2016 my mother passed away. She was only 59.

Reading this book comforted me in my sorrow.
alyssa
Sep 01, 2018 added it
One of the better grief books I think. Also one of the few that specifically talks about sibling death and how it fucking blows
Eve
May 16, 2018 rated it liked it
I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye is a comprehensive self-help book for those who've experienced a sudden death - of many kinds. It is comprehensive, and all encompassing, which is its strong point and its weak point at the same time. I have experienced such a loss with my brother, and with several friends, so was eager to read it. It started out well, however, I found it so thorough and heavy that I became bogged down about one third to one half way through. My recommendation is to read just the pa ...more
Linda Knight Crane
Oct 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Excellent book aid for grief. Practical advice. Divided into segments so you can jump around or skip those that do not pertain to you. Whether you’re grieving or know someone who’s grieving. A great reference book that I will go back to for continual support as I will never get over my grief.
Francie Mooney
Jul 06, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This was the first book I purchased after my husband completed suicide. It is the book I loan or suggest when someone asks me what to read after a suicide.

Brook Noel has written a story of grief and recovery. Letting people know that it is okay to grieve the way you want or need to, not how others expect you to.
Natasha
Nov 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: non-fiction
Very helpful - written by two therapists who have walked the path of losing someone too young, suddenly, and unexpectedly. They do a beautiful job of outlining the complicated nature of grief within the context of complex human relationships, providing specific information for those who have lost a spouse, parent, child, sibling, friend. Really helpful to me to identify my symptoms of grief and know they are normal and that these, too, will change as time continues without my sister. Chapters on ...more
Luann Habecker
Oct 07, 2020 rated it really liked it
pg 10

pg 20 Only you know how you want to be treated. Don't keep it to yourself.
We can't get through what we do not feel. [our grief sessions will be unique, as are we]

pg 24 Shock has rearranged our insides. This disorientation comes from not yet recognizing the new arrangement. Grief is a molting where we shed the parts of us that are no longer applicable to the new parts. it isn't a time to understand anything. "

pg 30 Anger turned inside out is depression.

pg 34 ...every thought you think and
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Vikki
Oct 14, 2008 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
pretty good in terms of practical advice for both the bereaved and those who want to be supportive. specific sections for getting through the early days, the first year, holiday & such, and different types of losses (i.e., parent, child, suicide, multiple losses).some chapters could be more detailed--the one on helping children grieve, for instance, is kind of sparse, though it did give me some good information i hadn't known. overall i think it's a really good resource book, targeted to people ...more
Karen
Mar 12, 2013 rated it it was amazing
This book has helped me through the most devastating time in my life with the loss of my son....I was so lost and in a fog for awhile till I started reading this book which has helped me through day by day along this new path of mine...I have bought it for a number of friends who have gone through similar loss and they also have told me how much they appreciated having this book given to them....Thanks to the authors for providing sound and great insight into dealing with loss and grief.
Rosemary
Jun 09, 2008 rated it really liked it
This book helped me during a period of grief.
I had lost my sister, niece, and nephew within a 2 1/2 month period and I was grieving. It went through each step of the
griving process and helped relieve some of
the loss I felt because I related to what
I was going thru at that point. It gave true
stories of people who had lost their love
ones in their life.
Wendy Osborn
Sep 22, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This is certainly not a book you read for fun. This is a book you pick up when you are in the thick of it to help you figure out the flood of emotions you are going through when someone dies. For me, it was my best friend who was killed suddenly at age 42 just 3 months ago. We were besties since age 14, college roommates, maid of honors at each other’s weddings. We still got together once a month. We even had dinner plans the week she unexpectedly was killed and had gone on a 62 mile bike ride j ...more
Theresa Bradley
Mar 14, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I liken this book to "the grief bible!" "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One" is a must read. Authors, Brook Noel and Dr. Pam Blair both experienced sudden loss of their loved ones. Noel lost her older brother, Caleb, who at twenty-seven died of an allergic reaction to a bee sting. Dr. Pam Blair lost her ex-husband and child's father to a brain aneurysm.

Through their shared experience with sudden loss, they vulnerably and candidly sh
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Trudy Cordle
Feb 14, 2021 rated it really liked it
This book was very informative of what I was experiencing. There were parts that definitely weren't for me, and other parts that totally hit the nail on the head. I think it's a great resource for those of us going through grief. The book is geared more toward those who lose a loved one suddenly through something like a car accident or heart attack, not someone who loses a loved one through an illness. Though none of us are ever really ready to say goodbye, this book seems more for ones that lit ...more
Cheryl
Jan 03, 2021 rated it really liked it
A dear friend gave this book to me when my brother died but I couldn't bring myself to read it-- I wish I had, it would have been so helpful. But still very helpful to read about the different grief stages, how men/women grieve differenly & that the different episodes that have happened to me are normal (like putting myself in the accident when I wasn't there, the never-ending video loop of when my brother died, the rescue people working on him, which I was there for, being at the hospital, the ...more
Rebecca Richardson
Jun 13, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I bought this book a few months after my 21 year old daughter passed away in 2008.

This book has different sections specific to the type of loss, i.e. spouse, parent, child, etc. I found that to be very helpful.

For me, it was comforting. I have reread parts of it again over the years.

If you or someone you know is dealing with the sudden loss of a loved one, I would highly recommend this book.
Sue Summerill
Jun 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Totally true!

I wish there was a cure for grieving but there just is not. I wish I had this book when my son was killed in an auto accident fifty years ago. I wish I could explain grief to my be so they would not call my father crazy.My dad lost his wife of seventy years a year ago. I have suffered tragic loss and fully understand my father's grief. God bless all who have to go through grief from a death. You learn how to cope,but you never forget it.
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Sara
Jun 08, 2020 rated it liked it
Parts of this book were very helpful in that they helped me realize that thoughts and feelings I am experiencing are completely normal. The section on sibling loss was okay, not detailed enough. The authors essentially acknowledged that there aren’t a lot of resources for siblings and left it at that. A lot of the later chapters are on specific types of loss, resulting in skipped chapters. I’m glad I read this book. It helped a little, which is better then not at all.
Andrea
Apr 19, 2021 rated it liked it
I lost my husband 2 years and four months ago and unfortunately I have yet to find a book on grief that has been monumental in helping me. But still I did find some interesting information and this workbook pretty much covers all types of losses. For me, this book seemed (as most grief books do) to be geared toward those who have just lost someone, so some of the material really wasn't relevant to me. ...more
Eric Schifferli
Feb 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Good Overall First Read After Traumatic Loss.

This book offers empathy, guideposts, practical advice and additional resources for those who have just suffered the sudden loss of a loved one. Good for trying to figure out how to care for yourself, as well as your grieving loved one.
Michael Radford
Disappointed as an atheist

I got a lot of help and understanding reading this book until the chapter on Faith. The authors didn't take into account that some of their readers could be atheists. I am a fully signed up atheist and was very hurt and annoyed that the authors totally airbrushed non-believers from the experience of losing someone suddenly.
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Tori Rainn
Nov 14, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I don't think anyone is ever prepared to deal with the immense pain that comes with a loss. While it didn't lessen the pain, this book surely gave me a good idea of what I was going through. No matter how small, every little step you take is part of the healing process, reading to cope and better understand is one of them. ...more
Alexandra
Feb 01, 2021 rated it did not like it
This book is very specific to middle class white Americans. Also to Christians. Had little to no relevance for myself after loosing my mother. It assumed you came from a perfect life where the first bad thing that happened to you was this person's death. No diversity, inclusion or perspective for those outside the two authors bubbles. ...more
Craig Tuller
Dec 27, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Excellent book for those who are dealing with a sudden, unexpected death in the family (or otherwise).

Certainly helped me to cope with my son's death. Am still healing though, even 10 years later.

I have purchased copies and sent to various friend's dealing with tragic loss.
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Jennifer Gamboa
Aug 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This is the first book I read about dealing with death. It was during a time in my life when I experienced major losses in a short period of time. Not many people could relate to me so this book provided me that relatability I needed and thus helped me through that dark time.
Danelle Janney
I haven’t finished this book. I probably won’t. I don’t feel it caught me attention more was for me. My grief was 6 years ago. I knew mY sister was dying of ALS. It wasn’t surprising or sudden. But I wasn’t ready for her to go. I hope the book helps others.
Eric B
Jul 09, 2020 rated it really liked it
My dad died. I went into this book hoping to feel better after finishing it. I don’t. But hopefully if I utilize some of the information in this book I will start to feel better. Grieving sucks, a lot. No easy way through it friends.
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Brook Noel is the author of nineteen books, specializing in grief and bereavement and life management and balance for today’s busy woman.

Noel is known for going “beyond the book” by creating a whole experience to interact and support her readers through online and in-person events, Q&A chats, message boards, and communities. She maintains two regular columns, The Daily Rush and Good Morning, and a
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