How to Hepburn: Lessons on Living from Kate the Great

by Karen Karbo

How to Hepburn , Karen Karbo's sleek, contemporary reassessment of one of America's greatest icons, takes us on a spin through the great Kate's long, eventful life, with an aim toward seeing what we can glean from the First Lady of Cinema. One part How Proust Can Change Your Life and one part Why Sinatra Matters , How to Hepburn teases some unexpected lessons from the life of a woman whose freewheeling, pants-wearing determination redefined the image of the independent woman while eventually endearing her to the world.
This witty, provocative gem is full of no-nonsense Hepburn-style commentary on subjects such making denial work for you; the importance of being brash, facing fear, and always having an aviator in your life; learning why and how to lie; the benefits of discretion; making the most of a dysfunctional relationship; and the power of forgiving your parents. Thrilling fans of the notoriously independent actress, award-winner Karen Karbo presents a gusty guidebook to harnessing your inner Hepburn, and living life on your own terms.
Karen Karbo is the author of three novels, two works of nonfiction, and a memoir, all of which were named New York Times Notable Books. The Stuff of Life was a People Critic's Choice, a selection of the Satellite Sisters Radio Book Club, and winner of the Oregon Book Award for Creative Nonfiction. A past winner of the General Electric Young Writer Award, Karen is in addition the recipient of an NEA grant. Her essays, reviews, and articles have appeared in the New York Times, Redbook, Elle, Vogue, Esquire, the New Republic, and Self. She lives in Portland, Oregon .

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, Self Help, Memoir

208 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2008

About the author

Karen Karbo's first novel, Trespassers Welcome Here, was a New York Times Notable Book of the Year, and a Village Voice Top Ten Book of the Year. Her other two adult novels, The Diamond Lane and Motherhood Made a Man Out of Me, were also named New York Times Notable Books. The Stuff of Life, about the last year she spent with her father before his death, was an NYT Notable Book, a People Magazine Critics' Choice, a Books for a Better Life Award finalist, and a winner of the Oregon Book Award for Creative Non-fiction.

Karbo is most well known for her international best-selling Kick Ass Women series, which examines the lives of a quartet of iconic 20th century women. Julia Child Rules (2013), How Georgia Became O'Keeffe (2011), The Gospel According to Coco Chanel (2009), and How to Hepburn (2007)

Her short stories, essays, articles and reviews have appeared in Elle, Vogue, Esquire, Outside, O, More, The New Republic, The New York Times, salon.com and other magazines. She is a recipient of a National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship in Fiction, was a winner of the General Electric Younger Writer Award, and was one of 24 writers chosen for the inaugural Amtrak Writers residency.

In addition, Karbo penned three books in the Minerva Clark mystery series for children: Minerva Clark Gets A Clue, Minerva Clark Goes to the Dogs, and Minerva Clark Gives Up the Ghost.

She is the co-author, with Gabrielle Reece, of Big Girl in the Middle, and the New York Times bestselling, My Foot is Too Big for the Glass Slipper: A Guide to the Less than Perfect Life.

Karbo also contributed to the anthologies, The Bitch is Back and What My Mother Gave Me: Thirty-one Women on the Gifts That Mattered Most.

Karen grew up in Los Angeles, California and lives in Portland, Oregon where she continues to kick ass.

Reviews

[Meagan · Rating 3 out of 5]

By most accounts Katharine Hepburn was bossy, stubborn, moody, self-important, often crabby, and generally difficult to be around. So why, you may ask, would one want to emulate her? Because, I answer, at a time when women were decorative at best, and second class citizens at worst, Katharine Hepburn lived her life exactly as she wanted to. She wore pants when it was not only unfashionable for women to wear pants, but downright shocking. She pursued her chosen career with the kind of single-minded enthusiasm that women today take for granted. Even after marriage with her long-time (married) lover Spencer Tracy was a possibility, she rejected it in favor of the kind of independence and freedom that married women of the time just didn't have. She travelled the world on a whim. She spoke her mind, and never let anyone shut her up.

I don't have a lot of the personal characteristics that Katharine Hepburn had. I'm not blunt. I care too much about what people think of me. I'll never develop a fondness for swimming in ice-cold water. But I'm proud of those characteristics we do share. I treasure my independence. I love my job. I see the world. And as for those traits that I wish I had? Well, I just take her advice and keep moving forward. If I pretend to have those traits long enough, eventually I will.

As for this book, it's a bit odd. If you're not one of Kate's fans (and why aren't you?), then it's probably best to skip it. But if you're transfixed by her, as I am, then it's a pleasant enough addition to her mystique.

[Jace · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title of this book is a tad misleading. It suggests a self-help guide providing the reader with tips on how to emulate Hepburn's charisma or success. But that would be absurd and unachievable. Rather, it's a series of vignettes and anecdotes showcasing the qualities which made Hepburn such an alluring, unnerving, and enduring Hollywood persona.

They said she was box office poison, too. Then she won an Oscar.

(And another. And another. And another.)

This is a fun read for Hepburn fans looking to celebrate her memory, but not in the mood for a detail-dense biography. What a strange coincidence that today would have been her 101st birthday.

[Donna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Despite the interesting bits of biographical information and the entertaining social critique, the book is messy, tired, and tries to hard to squeeze Hepburn into a predetermined pattern.

[Audrey · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read for two reasons - entertainment and education. At the risk of being brash, this book contains neither.

[April · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read book this expecting a bit of self-reflection on the part of the author that I could connect to, but I ended just thinking "why am I reading this?" First, the short (186 pages) book defies category. It isn't a biography (although research is clearly evident and often overly abundant through quotes). It is not a memoir nor an opinion piece (although the author does insert some opinions that feel like onions appearing in my fruit salad). The writing is a series of rambling chapters with some contradictory points. I thought a much better format would have been as a series of essays for a magazine column. That was confirmed when I read in the author's bio that she is an experienced magazine writer. To its credit though I read the book on a recommendation of a friend of mine who adored it...

[Kelly Earls · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was a big disappointment. I expected a charming, light read about Katharine Hepburn and instead I get an author who is trying way too hard to be humorous and her personal critique on Hepburn. There were some interesting facts about Katharine Hepburn, but it would be a small section compared to the critiques and personal views. If you are a fan of Katharine Hepburn, don't waste your time.

[Bea Elwood · Rating 2 out of 5]

What did I learn from this biography and guide to living life like Katharine Hepburn?

That KAREN has some issues with denial and therapy, that KAREN has some real issues about modern marriage and child rearing that come from rigid ideas of gender roles and conformity, and that KAREN is stuck on the gender binary unable to see that there is a third option to being strictly male or female (see the before mentioned issues with gender roles and conformity).

This was far less about Hepburn than it was about KAREN's opinion about the actress and her lifestyle and the life style of people living in 2006 (around when the book was published which oddly also dated the book).

[Jenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not a huge fan of biographies (I've only finished one before this), but I really, really enjoyed this book.

The reason I don't usually like biographies is I feel like the author really sucks the life out of the person who they are supposed to bringing life to . This biography (well, essentially biography) avoided this irony very well. Not only did I learn facts about Katharine Hepburn that I didn't know before, I also got a more complex portrait of her as a person than I would have with a traditional biography. This book didn't just tell me a story; Hepburn's actions and beliefs themselves told a story that was more eloquent and cohesive than any standard biography could be.

This book presented Hepburn in a way that allows the reader to see her in a fairly objective light so that he/she can create their own portrait of her. As a reader, I don't like being forced into narrow perspectives. When Karbo presented points that she considered to be ambiguous, she owned them as her own perspectives and so the reader was free to disagree.

"How to Hepburn" is also written in a fabulously candid and sarcastic tone that made me chuckle and kept me engaged. I was not only fascinated by the person I was reading about, but I also came to like the person who was telling the story.

I really have to commend this book and recommend it to those who have any interest in Katharine Hepburn whatsoever. This book really got me to look at the legendary Katharine Hepburn, not just as a legendary actress but as a human being. In fact, this book has me convinced that Katharine Hepburn might have been one of the most human human-beings to ever exist on this Earth.

[Tienne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I came to this book knowing nothing about Katherine Hepburn aside from the fact that she was a beautiful movie star who liked to wear pants. The author did a great job putting together a humorous portrait of this unique woman under the guise of dispensing advice on how to emulate her. After about three pages I knew there was no way I would ever be able "to Hepburn." I don't have the self-assurance that is the lynchpin of brashness! Still, I can't deny that Hepburn is a compelling subject and I enjoyed the book immensely. Ms. Karbo writes with panache and had me laughing out loud in several places. She manages to explain some of Kate's more outlandish behaviors in a way that makes her seem a very real person -- no small feat when you consider how many conflicting stories surround this legendary woman. I was glad to learn more about her.

[Sally · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a fast update on the life of Katherine Hepburn. It is written in Karbo's chatty, philosophical style which adds her opinions to the life of monumental women. Karbo talks about Hepburn's way of life which allows the reader a peak into her athleticism (morning swims in frigid waters with golf following), her commitment to her career, and her life with (or without) Spencer Tracy. Since I previously read, "How Georgia Became O'Keefe" by Karbo, I was interested in the difference of the lives of these ladies as presented by the author. What makes Karbo pick the women she writes about? My next book will be "The Gospel According to Coco Chanel" by this same gossipy author.

Karbo's books are published in small volumes which fit nicely in the hand or make reading in bed comfortable.

[Megan Close Zavala · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars. I normally love books like this - easy reads about some of my idols/people I grew up watching. I never expect them to be exhaustive biographies, but this book was more like a guidebook to the author’s feelings about life, peppered with references to Hepburn’s. Additionally, she has plenty of vitriol for anyone under 40, and she neglects a good portion of Hepburn’s filmography, focusing heavily on Holiday (which is her favorite). And referring to Summertime’s cinematography as “somewhat tacky” is one example of the mind bogglingly uninformed comments that are made.

[Patricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Karen Karbo appears occasionally in the Oregonian and I enjoy her voice. This was an interesting combination biography and "self-help" book, though it was really more of the former and the latter was a bit tounge-in-cheek. I liked the biographic details of Hepburn's life, but my favorite part was the commentary by Karbo. Her musings on friendship, women and marriage and women and work were astutely observed. She is funny, too.

[Terri R · Rating 2 out of 5]

I,too, bought this as a Kindle deal of the day and was appalled at the lack of editing - "Woman of the Tear" and "often" instead of "of ten" were two of the most annoying errors but there were many, many more. Looked like they did not even spellcheck.

The writing was breakneck and sloppy too, but I got the impression the author - apparently a columnist in Portland, Oregon - enjoyed tossing it off and I found some of the anecdotes and turns of phrase amusing.

[Lyn · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am not enjoying this book. It is another example of why I should not be tempted by cheap e-book deals. As of now, I am about 80 percent through and I will finish because I hate leaving books unfinished and it is short, so I don't have much left. Still, not a well written book.

[Patricia · Rating 2 out of 5]

While this was a fun diversion from more serious reading, true fans of Katharine will be disappointed in the shoddy facts, rampant speculation and lack of detail. There are much better books on dear Kate.

First thing that galled me was the description of “Desk Set.” Bunny didn’t work at an “IBM-like” company, she worked in the research department of a national broadcasting network - “NBC-like.” Let’s get the facts straight at least; this isn’t rocket science. Bunny would be appalled, as was I.

The author proves she’s not a truly devoted fan or for that matter, any sort of journalist or documentarian. Quite disappointing, overall.

[Helene Golombek · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this book was fun and somewhat irreverant. We all know the big things about Katherine Hepburn but I enjoyed reading some of the lesser known facts (to me, anyway) and also the tips and pointers on how I can live more like Kate. Because let's face it - these days we could all use a little help on how to live more according our own likes and values instead of just blindly following how society would have us women live.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rather than being a guide to be like Katharine Hepburn, this slim book details excerpts from her life that exemplify some well known traits of the actress, along with a few that are less well known. It is challenging to distill a complex personality, and a life that was often paradoxical into a series of vignettes. It was interesting, but I was hoping for more based on the title.

[J. Elliott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm hoping to finish reading this book in the next day or so, but felt the itch to sing its praises early. I grew up watching the classic films of my parents' era. Katherine Hepburn was revered in our house as one of the greats; so I was surprised to discover that early in her career she was considered box office poison. Philadelphia Story is one of my all time favorite films; I'd never heard of Holiday until just a few weeks ago. Pity that Hepburn and Grant didn't make more pictures together, they are a terrific duo. Karbo's book, How To Hepburn puts the spotlight on how truly unconventional Hepburn was by talking not just about her but the culture in Hollywood and the U.S. in her era. A time when women were to be ultra feminine, demure, domesticated --educated was fine as long as it was to support the man's career and goals. And here came a brash, pants-wearing intelligent woman who refused to be molded into a June Cleaver.

My favorite section from the book so far: "Hepburn loved nothing more than pulling the pin out of the grenade with her teeth and hurling it unto the accepted mores of the time. Her attitude toward marriage was complicated, which in those times was tantamount to saying antimarriage. In the middle of the last century, when every girl was supposed to regard marriage as her highest achievement--… Hepburn said that if it wasn't bloody impractical to love, honor, and obey, you wouldn't have to sign a contract." Quoting Hepburn, "If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married!"

This is a quick yet insightful read--short but meaty. While I got this from the library, I'm sorely tempted to buy a copy to keep on hand as reference.

[Whitney · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m not sure why the author decided to write a self help book based on Kathrine Hepburn when she clearly despises Kathrine Hepburn.

And at one point she bizarrely says Katherine Hepburn’s biggest legacy was loving Spencer Tracey instead of, you know, her 4 time Academy Award winning acting career.

I did enjoy the parts of the book that depicted Kathrine Hepburn’s life, though.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came upon this in the library when I was looking for a book by/about a different celebrity. This one called to me, and I left the other behind for another day. It's a biography and it isn't. Nice read

[Katie Gainey-West · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was cute enough. I found it frustrating that I could never tell what was true and what wasn’t true about Kate’s life. However her life story is fascinating . If you’re a fan of the classic Hollywood starlets, this would be a great read for you.

[Austin Pierce · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really solid book with a developed author's point of view. I'm glad I read it.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had already read a biography of Kate Hepburn, but this one was a delightful romp about her most well known idiosyncrasies and habits.

[Cecy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Huguette Larochelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

i read many book about her ,
but this one is very special. it about how she really was.
love that. lessons on living from Kate.
fascinating person.

[Lynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very enjoyable book. I recommend it. Lots of fun info about Hepburn and the author's spin about How to Hepburn.

[Danica · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book that turns Hepburn into a verb definitely grabbed my attention. This book is part biography, but focuses more on the ins and outs of Ms. Hepburn... the good, the not so good, and the plain ugly. I really feel that no one will ever understand what made her tick and that is part of what made her a legendary figure. This book was also billed as a tribute to Hepburn, but missed the mark in my opinion.

Parts of this book I really enjoyed and parts of it didn't quite work for me. It all averaged out to an okay reading experience, but not good enough to deserve the use Hepburn as a verb ; )

[Joy · Rating 3 out of 5]

After I read this review I just had to put it on my list and I'm now starting to get into it:

"Karen Karbo has tapped into the rich vein of enduring fascination with Kate the Great, taking a delightfully fresh approach to a much examined life. She uses quotes and anecdotes from and about Hepburn judiciously and examines the implications with a fond but clarifying eye.

Karbo also uses language wittily, which is an ability devoutly to be wished for in the author of a guide to Hepburning:

She was inimitable, and we want to be that way too."

from Hoyden About Town blog

[Margot · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my bibles.

Kate Hepburn is one of my favourite classic Hollywood actors. She was known for her cred and attitude. She does what she wants, when she wants. She will swim anytime, any place. Including public fountains in hospitals she snuck out of. This brings some fabulous advise whilst seamlessly weaving through elements of her life. Karbo has an energetic and engrossing writing style. It's like sweet, delicious an frozen yoghurt in a book, really.

[lynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

i just adore kate.. she is so adventuresome..so comfortable in her own skin..i just can't figure why she stayed with Tracey...and I am so sad that she didn't recieve the attention she deserved from him...however, perhaps that's how she was comfortable.. this book did not tell me anything new about kate...it is a quick read and a enjoyable reminder of a great person.