The First and Final Nightmare of Sonia Reich

by Howard Reich

On the evening of February 15, 2001, Sonia Reich, Howard Reich's mother, packed some clothes into two brown shopping bags, put on her gray winter coat, locked the door to her home in Skokie, Illinois and fled. Someone was trying to kill her, "to put a bullet in my head," Sonia told anyone who would listen. Polish and Jewish, Sonia Reich had survived the Holocaust by staying always on the run. She and Howard's father, Robert, also a Holocaust survivor, had fled to America, moved to Chicago, and raised their young son to tell no one that they were Jewish. It was only after moving to Skokie, a town filled with Holocaust survivors, that his family would live as Jews. Still, his parents told Howard almost nothing about their past. The First and Final Nightmare… is Reich's moving and bittersweet memoir of growing up in Skokie, discovering an odd and personal American freedom in jazz, and his riveting, revealing investigation into his family's past and the nature of his mother's illness, called late-onset Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is a poignant story of a mother and a son, a haunted past, and the irony of what may happen when that often repeated admonition to "never forget" becomes a curse.

Genres: Holocaust, Memoir, History, Nonfiction, Biography, World War II, Jewish

224 pages, Hardcover

First published June 12, 2006

Reviews

[Adia · Rating 4 out of 5]

a story worth telling, however horrible. Reich details the delayed-onset PTSD that he witnessed firsthand in his mother, a small child during the Holocaust, and the horrors that produced it.

the son of two Polish Jews, Reich grew up in Chicago, surrounded by scores of relatives and the vague presence of the Holocaust. though rarely spoken of by his parents, the terrors they'd experienced could be seen in their insomnia and nightmares. The effect of Sonia's troubled childhood became obvious when, at age 60, she began experiencing hallucinations and delusions: a reenactment of her time running from Nazis in a war-torn Poland.
Reich describes the invasion of Dubno, the childhood town of his mother, and the mass executions that took place there. the topic and story are important, but i found Reich's writing left something to be desired; otherwise, a 4 star read.

[Rosemarie Donzanti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grief and unbearable loss. Childhood trauma beyond comprehension. Buried deep, way down deep. The true story of a son desperately seeking to get his Mother, a victim of Nazi Germany’s reign of terror, peace in the wake of her late onset PTSD. 🙏


"Over there," he added, pointing to an open plot of land,
"was the Jewish ghetto-the biggest in Europe, before the Nazis liquidated it and everyone inside."

The First and Final Nightmare of Sonia Reich: A Son's Memoir - Howard Reich

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Prisoner of her Past: a Son’s Memoir is by Howard Reich. This is one of the most upsetting Holocaust memoir I have read. It is one thing to be having flashbacks into your past when you know what is happening; but to have flashbacks and not have any idea what is happening must be simply overwhelming for the person and the family. This book makes me wonder just how many Holocaust survivors have experienced this without the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or Dementia. To have symptoms of PTSD and not know it is quite distressing. This is what happened to Howard Reich’s mother.
Howard’s Mother was from Dubno, Poland and was “the spoiled first grandchild of an extended family.” This existence was torn from her as a child when the Soviet Union took over her town as part of the deal with Germany. Then, the town was retaken by the Nazis and at the age of eleven, she was on the run by herself. All but four of her extended family were massacred here in Dubno. She made it to the United States, married, and raised her family in Chicago. However, she never talked about her four years of running to her family. It wasn’t until after the death of her husband, also a Holocaust survivor who rarely talked about his past and never to his son, that she began to have problems with hearing voices and becoming paranoid about people killing her. It was only after many doctor and hospital visits, stays in institutions and nursing homes, as well as her son’s visit back to Poland, that Howard became aware of exactly what was wrong with his Mother. Unfortunately, there was little the doctors could do to help her due to her intense paranoia and her determination to fight them this time.
The book is well-written and is compelling to read. In addition to the book, Howard went back to Poland and with the help of those still living in Dubno who remembered the past, made a documentary film of his Mother’s life. Hopefully what he discovered in this search will be of benefit to others who have traumas and develop PTSD. In addition, the book gives a very explicit description of the horror of the massacres of the Einzsgruppen as they exterminated the Poles near Dubno. I would be very careful to use this book in schools while teaching the Holocaust.

[Liza Wiemer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is unlike any Holocaust story I've ever read. Howard is the son of survivors. When his mother had a late on-set post-traumatic stress disorder episode at the age of 69, believing that there was someone in her house who was going to murder her, she ran from her home and was eventually picked up by the police. This memoir takes readers on a journey of discovery from Howard's childhood to walking in his mother's footsteps. He travels from Skokie, Illinois to New Jersey to Warsaw to Dubno in the Ukraine, his mother's hometown. Howard discovers the root of his some of mother's trauma and we see the worst of humanity.

PRISONER OF HER PAST: A Son's Memoir is haunting, powerful, and unforgettable.

Highly highly recommend.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a totally absorbing story of the author's journey to understand his mothor's mental breakdown. Both of his parents were Holocaust survivors, but the author never knew any of the details surrounding his parents' horrifying childhood pasts because they had repressed the memories and would not talk about them in their adulthood.
The mother's breakdown was misdiagnosed as dementia until it was recognized to be PTSD, albeit almost 60 years after WWII. One of Reich's motives for writing the book was to reach psychologists and psychiatrists to educate them on this phenomenon that had really been applied only to Vietnam war veterans at the time of the book writing.

[Bj Quigley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow. What a memoir and interesting process for uncovering the lost details of a Holocaust survivor's life. Howard Reich writes a non-fiction book with the wonderful ability to keep the reader's attention throughout. He describes his upbringing in the Germantown neighborhood of Chicago as the son of Holocaust survivors who didn't talk about their past. I had no idea how differently the Jews were treated in Eastern versus Western Germany. Such an awful part of history, but so important for people to read this to get a broader understanding of this tragedy of our past.

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read a lot about the Shoah but this was new territory for me. The author's mother had a mental breakdown when she was older based on her early life trying to survive the horrors of that time. All of that horror comes back to her in the form of late-onset PTSD. It's a gut wrenching story that shows that the pain of trauma never really leaves.

[Meagan | The Chapter House · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a powerful, heartbreaking read. It shed light on an aspect and after effects of the Holocaust that I knew nothing about. I strongly recommend reading it so that we not only learn more about PTSD and how it likely impacts children of war both then and now - but so we truly never forget what happened in the Holocaust.

[Lynda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incredibly sad.

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Heart-breaking and admirable.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an important story that really hasn't been explored fully. Reading his memoir provided the background to understand Howard Reich's new book The Art of Inventing Hope.

[Danielle Fontinel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartbreaking, yet heroic story about a holocaust survivor.

[Julie Marks · Rating 4 out of 5]

For many years, Sonia Reich tries to repress the haunting memories she has had since the age of eight when her family home in Poland was taken over by the Soviets and later when her family was relocated to a Jewish ghetto. After her family was split up, Sonia ran and hid from the Nazis while continually faced with their endless death threats, sporadic sources of food, and rare shelter from the traditionally cold and snowy winter and other year round weather conditions. Witnessing countless, senseless deaths, she had to resort to extreme measures to stay alive. Even after the War ended and she moved to Chicago, Sonia could never forget her past. She was afraid to sleep and even more afraid to discuss why she was always so troubled. As she grew older, so did her decades old fears which had prevented her from being close with her family. With no one to talk to, she tried running away from her fears, literally and figuratively, to protect herself from the constant threats against her life that she felt so strongly. In February 2001, she packed some clothing in a shopping bag and ran away from her Skokie home claiming that someone was threatening to kill her and "put a bullet in my head". This was the first of many incidents that led to psychiatric evaluations and ultimately a diagnosis of late onset post-traumatic stress disorder. After researching his mother's history for a Chicago Tribune article, Howard Reich, an award winning jazz columnist for the newspaper, knew he had to share Sonia's story because of the impact it would have on the innumerable others who also suffered such harrowing experiences. In this heartrending memoir, he shares his childhood through present day memories of his family in conjunction with first hand accounts of the disturbing events of the Holocaust.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

This must have been an incredibly difficult book for the author to write, but it is extremely compelling - I read it straight through in one day.

Reich points out that American awareness of the Holocaust tends to be very focused on the concentration camps, but there were many other Jews in Europe who died (or survived) through equally horrendous circumstances who were victims in other ways, in mass killings such as at Babi Yar. This is the story, as best as he was able to piece together, of his mother's path out of eastern Poland, and how that history affected his family and his own life many decades later.

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

A report of a mother's horror running and hiding as a child during WWII. Howard Reich's mother is suffering dementia, sure people are out to get her. Howard knows his parents are holocaust survivors, but their stories are never talked about. Howard goes in search of his mother's stories, talking to relatives who were also survivors, and travels to Poland to research. He complies his research and shares the stories with us. This is told very factually, the horrors unthinkable, and the focus is on the lasting effects these survivors are heroically suffering. These stories need to be told in first persin like this in every history class. 3.5 stars.

[Sonia Reppe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Howard Reich grew up thinking that everyone's mother sat up all night at the kitchen table sipping coffee, because that's what his did. The severe effects of her post-traumatic stress didn't show up until her old age, prompting him to find out about her past as a holocaust survivor. Warning: there are some very disturbing things in the second half of this book, as he uncovers some holocaust history of his family members.

[Jillian Goldberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderfully written memoir by the son of a Holocaust survivor. Deeply compassionate and loving, it highlights the little known syndrome of late onset of PTSD; in survivors, it can first manifest fifty years and more after the events occurred. As in so much of Holocaust literature, one is left wondering how anyone actually survived the horrors of the mass genocide. And how they lived afterwards.

[Fishface · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so hard to put down that I read straight through it in about 4 hours rather than shower or eat. Left me feeling that I'd been dragged backwards through a waterfall. This, in spite of page after page of idiotic marginal notes left by the previous owner -- usually something that makes me slam the book shut and never open it again.

[Corey Blake · Rating 5 out of 5]

I met Howard when we were both speaking on a panel at the Midwest Literary Festival. A great man with a greater story. It started as a story in the Chicago Tribune, and then morphed into a book and now a documentary film. A truly worthy read.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I never fully realized that the murders of millions of Jews during the Holocaust was really only half of the horror. What the survivors and people of Eastern Europe saw and experienced ruined their lives.

[Autumn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt this book was well written, I recommend this book to anyone. You feel like you're seeing a movie except in your mind. It was sad real story of someones like but none the less you can learn from a person struggles and be more grateful.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is haunting. Sonia's story is heartbreaking but her son's agony with having to pick up the pieces is equally horrifying.

[Kris · Rating 4 out of 5]

A holocaust survivor deals with post-traumatic stress - almost 50 years after she escaped Nazi Germany.

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Haunting and bittersweet tribute to a brave woman facing down her demons and past. Read and remember.

[Renee Yesso · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick and haunting read about the author's mother's late onset PTSD, sixty years after having survived the Holocaust.

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

wow! amazing. I just finished and am speachless.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very sobering....

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Childhood trauma and late onset PTSD was a quiet undoing of youth of Europe. What will this new rendering of children from their parents bring?

[Sue]

I am really grateful to have read this book. I heard Howard Reich talk about his friendship with Elie Wiesel. He mentioned this book. He wrote it about his own aged mom who was sort of trapped in her mind, vividly re-living her holocaust-childhood memories. He went to the part of Poland where she grew up, and met some of his mom's peers there, in his quest to understand her traumatization. So sad.