This one is a tough review for me. On one hand, previously to reading this book I was a complete stress ball. I'd sometimes fall apart if I dropped the pen I was writing with or if my dog happened to bark a little too loud at the FedEx guy and so, quite literally I was the intended audience of this book. On the other hand, there's really nothing new here.
Let me explain.
The author spends about 40% of the first part of the book explaining why stress is bad. This isn't all that interesting. We all know why. We hear it all the time and what are we supposed to do with this information? If you're me, you tend to stress about being stressed. The author also spends a great deal of time explaining how her method will not only help you feel better, but can also actively make you richer! Oh boy! And if you don't believe her, let's read all these inserted testimonials from "actual" clients!
Meh. This is about where I started to put the book down. I wasn't interested in propaganda. But then the book took a turn. The author started explaining stress in terms of daily packets. Say you wake up and go about your day and collect seven "packets" of stress (i.e. a work presentation, kid throwing up in the grocery aisle, ghosts, spilling coffee on your white shirt...whatever). Come night time your body goes to sleep and removes five of these "packets" through sleeping (as that's what your body SHOULD do with stress). But then the next morning you wake up with two of these packets of stress still hanging on your shoulder. Day goes on and you collect ten packets. Now you're up to twelve. Go to bed, your body tries its damnedest to get rid of your stress but only manages to remove four. And the cycle continues, creating massive amounts of stress in your body and leading (if you're me) to break down in tears and have an existential crisis when the toilet paper roll runs out mid-bathroom break.
Everything feeling like it was too much was a feeling I'm more than acquainted with and to hear it broken down like this actually made sense to me. It put a name and a process to the feelings I'd been feeling, rather than how I'd been describing it (a constant sound of silverware grinding in a garbage disposal). So I was hooked. Which, luckily, by that time the book finally got on with it and the author revealed her secrets to meditation that will help solve this.
The entire "secret" is about four pages long. It's just one chapter out of the entire book and it's smack dab in the middle. So we had all this build up for this teeny, tiny actual nugget of information. But I was on board so I went with it. I started meditating her way. Which is to say, you don't really meditate. And this is fantastic, because I don't know about you, but I've tried meditation before and I can't sit still that long. I'm thinking of how my feet hurt or what if someone sees me meditating and what does meditation mean? What does life mean? What is life? Hockey puck, rattlesnake, monkey, monkey, underpants.
But this method of meditation is really just sort of "thinking". You focus on your surroundings. The loudest things you can hear, smell, taste, feel, etc. And then also the smallest things. Once you're established and have stopped thinking about what to have for lunch, you focus on a word. The author suggested the word ONE, but it could be whatever you wanted. You center your thoughts around this word, allowing them to come and go and not force anything. If you happen to drift into thinking about that ex-boyfriend who took your Police CD when you broke up and never returned it (fuck you, Derek!), acknowledge this, don't force it away because these thoughts are your bodies way of releasing stress.
It sounds kumbaya, cosmic crap garbage, but I've noticed...and it sort of pains me to say it...that it actually works. If I give myself a dedicated time to allow the thoughts to come and sort of drift away as I continue to focus on the word ONE, I find myself no longer having sudden terrible flashbacks to stupid shit I did in high school when I'm in the grocery store checkout line. It actually feels like I have let it go by acknowledging it. Which, if you're a master of the self-help section, is nothing new. But, I think, at least for me, the way to go about it finally made sense and is working.
The author suggests doing this exercise for 15 minutes, two times a day. I did it this way for about a week and then sort of took it on my schedule. If I woke up and felt frazzled I made sure to take the time to meditate. If I made it to 3 p.m. and felt like stuffing my face with cheese crackers because of stress, I'd take a break and mediate for a few minutes. And interestingly enough, I really did feel better. And, as an added bonus, I have leftover snacks now! I don't always go the full 15 minutes, I average about 12 before I tap out, but I think the idea is the same. I wouldn't get too caught up in the logistics of the thing.
And this has been great. I'm feeling more like myself again (not that there still aren't freakouts every once in awhile), but its easier to let things go and not get so worked up about them because I really believe I'm not carrying around as many "packets" of stress as I was previously to meditating. But here's why the two stars for the book. While all of this is fantastic, the book isn't really that great. The author spends the rest of the book giving more client reviews, name dropping celebrities she's worked with and pushing her online, two-week beginner course that costs $400. No thanks. It all sort of felt like a setup for this push. Like, here I helped you, now help me by giving me your money.
If any of this is resonating with you, my recommendation is to find this book at your library or beg, borrow or steal it from someone. Skip most of the beginning and go straight to the meat. Don't waste your money buying this book. Spend some time working through giving yourself permission to be in your thoughts and allow them to just be thoughts. It can be scary in there, there's a lot of shit I'm sure is buried in those dark recesses of your mind, and it can be really difficult to work through some of those things. But in the infamous words of our lord and savior, Shrek: "Better out than in, I always say."