Ugly Me

by J.E. Stamper

“A MUST read for ALL educators!” -Public School Teacher“This book has ignited a new passion for reading for our students and teachers!” -Instructional Coach"I can't ♥♥♥♥♥ this enough!!!" -Middle School Counselor"Excellent storytelling, compelling characters. These books will change how you look at your students..." -Public School Educator"If you want a perspective of trauma from the lens of the child, this is it." -Community Services Provider"This book is required reading for all of our teachers." -Superintendent of Schools"I usually skip my district's book studies, but not this one. I couldn't put it down." -Long-Time Teacher"I recommend this book everywhere I go!" -Becky Haas, World-Renowned Trauma-Informed Care Trainer Walk a mile in the shoes of an at-risk child with this book written by a middle school administrator serving a high-needs population. A stunningly written fictional tale based on the real-life experiences of real students, Ugly Me is an entertaining, touching, raw look at life through the eyes of one of our nation’s many suffering children. It’s a must-read for all middle and high school students, educators, parents, and social workers.

Get it today.

Genres: Realistic Fiction, Young Adult, Fiction, School, Book Club, Middle Grade, Childrens

85 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 25, 2019

Reviews

[Bianca · Rating 1 out of 5]

As someone who has taught at disadvantaged schools and has had many experiences with students like the protagonist I was horrified to think that this oversimplification of complex traumatic situations and extreme poverty is pitched at children. I also am a cisgender female, unlike the author, and have the advantage of knowing that we don’t have magical womanly intuition. To think this book is on the curriculum of schools is seriously disappointing - I know, I have to teach it (in a girls school nonetheless) and I will have to undo A LOT of the ham-fisted attempts at poignancy.

[Lisa Mayo]

I liked the idea of this book. I just felt it was a bit simplistic concerning childhood trauma. And patronizing. I’ve taught underprivileged kids for 25 years, and while there are definitely teachers who lack empathy or who don’t try to help out, they’re the exception rather than the rule. Maybe thirty years ago, the authoritarian attitude would have been more common, but not recently. There are so many programs in schools designed to help students with issues, and this book ignores them.

“Plus, she doesn’t have that flattened, perpetually worn-out look like a lot of the older teachers do.”

I mean, I don’t even know how to respond to the above sentence on page 47. I believe I’m a much better teacher now than when I started. I have more empathy, experience, and confidence. I’m used to certain groups demonizing teachers, but didn’t expect it coming from a fellow educator.

All of the adults in this book are either good or bad, with the majority being awful. People aren’t that one dimensional.

Also, children with trauma don’t usually have the level of self-control that the main character has. She keeps talking about being “Ugly Me” but the worst thing she does is snap at someone. And then apologizes. She’s also pretty one dimensional.

I appreciate what the author is trying to do, and I hope the book causes people to be more aware and empathetic.

[Kelly Peters · Rating 5 out of 5]

All school employees should read this book. You will know a character in real life in this book. You will find yourself in this book. Everyone has had a part of an Ugly Me in themselves and in their classrooms. It’s a quick read with a lot of meaning.

[Caitlyn Loucks · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a public school teacher in an urban setting, all I could think about were my students and how they might appear but could be hiding something else underneath the surface. "Ugly Me" is one of the girl's personas that she might be sharing because of the emotions that she is hiding. I wrote three quotes down to share with my students in my school:
"You can't control the crap that gets dealt to you, but you're able to control how you respond to it."
"There's always going to be someone of something there to step in and try to dim your sunshine."
"It's not what makes you mad or how often you get mad that defines you. It's all about how you act when you're mad."

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure what to say about this book. I like the premise. I like the POV. But it's just too short. Scenes are rushed. The background glossed over or quickly mentioned, there's no background. You're just thrown into this story of a girl with a horrible home life, no resources, no one to rely on. The book is just too short. This book has the promise to shed so much light on a life that most of us don't ever experience first hand.

[Terry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick middle school book about a girl with very low self-esteem. She lives with her drug addict mom and her father is in jail. She is a social outcast at school with old hand me down clothes and no food in her apartment. Such a sad story, and yet as a teacher we see students like this all the time. I hope that middle schoolers will read this and feel some empathy for their fellow classmates.

[Amanda Broussard · Rating 4 out of 5]

This will be a book that my kids read before they go back to public school.

[Lisa Barnes Prince · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book from Amazon because it kept coming up on my Facebook feed as a necessary title for all teachers. I was very surprised by its length (very short!), but I do agree it's an important title for all educators. Particularly middle school.

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leaves you wanting more

I really loved how detailed and involved the main character was in this story. I wish this were a book as opposed to just a story! It really makes you think.

[Susie Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick read. Totally engaged me as it was simply about the first day of school for one teen. It was like shadowing a student. Powerful for the start of school. Buying the sequel.

[Judy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick read that every educator needs to read.

[Michelle Schultz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read for all middle school teachers. What a great narrative on a single day on the life of a struggling 7th grader. It sends a message that a little kindness can go a very long way and remind you to take the opportunity to connect with all students. It will change the way you approach your day as a teacher.

[Ateqaalihotmail.Co.Uk · Rating 1 out of 5]

First person narrative set over one day from the perspective of a teenager. Writer seems not to have used their artistic licence to weave a story out of this. It’s a stream of consciousness that doesn’t really go anywhere and the only positive is that it sheds light on the difficulties of an underprivileged child. Seems to want to be insightful for teachers and adults that come across ‘challenging’ pupils but comes across sensationalising the disadvantage of children. Not worth reading.

[Katey (Kaje) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Torn between two different pieces with my rating.

The avid reader, who absorbs middle grade/YA like it’s my job (because in a way, it is), with a delightfully high ACES score, and who works with students living in poverty.

Versus the person who was reading this because their coworker asked if it would be a good book to get our staff to read because it can give an insight into what our students lives look like.

The first piece of me wanted to give this one star. The book was so surface level, an over generalization of what complex trauma and poverty look like. Clearly written from the POV of someone who has taught middle school girls but was never a middle school girl themself. The concept of this “Ugly Me” piece of Randi was certainly how one might expect a middle school girl to personify her anger issues… but if her mental health is truly so difficult and she’s not even in therapy to work on it? The level of control we are expected to believe she has is far more fantasy than realistic fiction. I know it’s a short story, and I am the first to admit I often judge short stories for lacking sufficient world building and information. But this stood out particularly to me. Nothing made sense.

But the other piece of me wants to review this for what my coworker wants it to be: a bite sized read that can give a surface level look into our own students. A book that we can give to coworkers who talk to or about them like many of the teachers in this book. Something to help them understand at least a little. And isn’t that everything I accused this book of being? Surface level? So if I were to judge the book simply based on the purpose my coworkers wishes it would be used for, this would become 5 stars for that usage.

So we get 3 stars, instead.

[Nancy Litterell · Rating 5 out of 5]

middle school truth!

As a middle school teacher, I could easily put familiar faces to the main character. Her story is all too real and common in the schools. My first thoughts were about what services we have in place for students like Randi, then my final thoughts were how I just wanted to take her home.

[Olivia Baughman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had to read this for an education class and although I think it’s great and anyone becoming an educator should read, I also think it quickly tries to incorporate too many aspects of trauma without explaining them in detail. To create a trauma sensitive classroom I think it is a good beginner book to understanding the minds of middle level learners.

[Marissa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I purchased and read this book because of so many educator recommendations that said things like “all educators need to read this book.” I did not think it was particularly profound…and the whole plot existed over the course of one day. I would not recommend.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a teacher, this is a must read. Read it and think about kids like Miranda.

[Danielle Scarth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great story, but it felt very rushed.

[Matthew Bertke · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book and an important read for all educators.

[K Gover · Rating 3 out of 5]

Miranda, Randi Lewis is a 7th grade girl abut to start her first day of school. She is looking forward to not having to worry about eating, but that's about it. Her mom is a neglectful, abusive drug addict and Randi spends her days fending for herself. She describes the difficulties of being an unkept, angry outcast as well as trying to fit in with her teachers. This is a sad story about a child who is dealing with a pretty serious situation all by herself. She doesn't feel like she can share any of her issues with her teachers because she does not want their pity. Randi refers to the emotions she bottles up as "Ugly Me." This alternate personality is angry, violent and presumes that everyone has some angle or is making fun of her.
My biggest take away as an educator was on page 67 when she refers to her considerate amount of absences. She mentions overhearing the teachers talking about her, and this is just as painful as the reasons she was absent are. She doesn't feel like she can trust these teachers who talk about her behind her back.
This book is 75 pages long and appears to be the first in a series by J.E. Stamper. It definitely left me wanting more as my heart goes out to Randi and kids like her who had to grow up way too soon.
Topics: poverty, drug abuse, violence, domestic violence, hunger, social groups amongst peers
Recommend: Grades 6+ (although there are 2 swears)

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Ugly Me" by J.E. Stamper is a powerful and thought-provoking novel that challenges readers to look beyond appearances and consider the hidden struggles of others.

The story follows Randi Lewis as she experiences her first day of seventh-grade. She’s a girl with a tough exterior and a reputation that precedes her.

However, as the narrative unfolds, readers are taken on a journey through Randi's life, revealing the pain, loneliness, and anger that she carries within. Stamper skillfully explores themes of self-acceptance, resilience, and the impact of trauma on young lives.

Through Randi's experiences, readers are reminded of the importance of empathy and understanding, and the profound effect that a little kindness can have on someone who is struggling.

“Ugly Me" is a compelling and heartfelt novel that will resonate with readers of all ages. It is a story that challenges us to see beyond the surface and recognize the humanity in everyone, no matter how they may appear. This book is a must-read for anyone looking for a moving and inspiring story that will stay with them long after the final page.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I kept seeing this book show up on my facebook feed saying that it was "A Must-Have for All Educators"... so I got it! I was a bit shocked when it came in the mail because it was really tiny... maybe 100 pages at the most. I didn't know much about it, so I did more research, and I was intrigued by the story: a principal turned writer. I'm not sure if J.E. Stamper is still a principal, but I do applaud him for taking his experience of working in education and turning it into a novel.

We see a lot of students like this in school, and these are the students that we can impact every day. Ugly Me gave me the vibe of Rex Ogle's Free Lunch, but with some twists and turns! In any case, I enjoyed it! It was a fast read, taking me ony a few days, but it can probably be read in an afternoon as well. I would like to read the other sequels, and of course I'd love to see the author add some more pages to the books to keep us going for awhile longer.

A great first novel! Way to go J.E. Stamper!

[Veronika Lawrence · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe that every person who is pursuing a career in child care or education should read this and consider the different walks of life. For just a brief moment in time, this book gives us a time stamp in Miranda’s life and we see as she struggles on her first day of 7th grade, being a child of extreme poverty and an addict mother.

Many judge this poor girl just by looking at her outward appearance, and all I could think about was just how impossible learning would be for anyone, let alone a child, when they have no food in their stomach and the nastiest, dirty clothes on. If we all took a moment to reflect and think about the “problem child” in the classroom, we’d have much more empathy in our hearts for children like Miranda, and we could change their lives.

I’m enthusiastic to read the next book in this little series.

[Katrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an educator this short story (like 77 pages) of this neglected girl's 1st day of 7th grade was words some need to be reminded of.

The one part that got me was a memory from 5th grade of how she missed school for over a week because her mom was hiding from some bad people and when she walked in after all that time gone, the teacher said look who finally showed up. How that was a core memory for her. She mentioned over and over again how the bruises and scratches healed but the words and looks adults said and gave her never went away.

The only reason she went to school at all was for food.

"Ugly me" was the fight in the girl who shut everyone out cause of how much she was hated at home, so it was easier to fight than be loved.

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the audio version of this book. I really don’t know how kids like Miranda survive. I think the book should be required reading for all staff at schools. I also think it should be required reading for middle school and up. People can be so mean. I pray my eyes are opened to identify kids like Miranda. And I hope I can simply ask “Are you ok?” And when I ask it, I hope the kid doesn’t need to think -should I tell the truth, knowing my mom will get in trouble, or should I lie and continue to be outcast. This one will stay with me for awhile.

The reason I gave it a four instead of a five, I wanted MORE! I will read the sequel also and hope it gives me more!

[Rachel Hays · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you work with children in any capacity, you will recognize the main character as a child you already know. For me, I can see a whole host of faces of students that I work with or have worked with who endure trauma at home every day. I can't pretend to know all of their stories or what they have to deal with every day. This book reminds me to pay attention and to try and make these kids' lives a little brighter. The main character is trying to survive middle school even with the deck stacked against her, she finds a little hope. I am looking forward to reading the second book of this series, because I care about what happens to this girl.

[Alyssa Nichols · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a person who has spent a great deal of time volunteering to help middle schoolers and high schoolers in similar situations as Miranda, I would like to say it was an emotional read for me. Miranda is a great portrayal for people in her circumstances, and one thing that really stuck out to me in this book was the way that others perceived Miranda. I agree that this is a must read for teachers.

I have noticed a lot of people remarked on the size of the book, but that was one of the elements that I found appealing about the book. Although I agree that it is short, its size packs a very impactful punch.

[Krystle Dionise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book for anyone who is looking to make this world a better place. I feel very strongly that anyone who encounters children needs to read this book, as it gives an understanding on why children can behave the way they do. If more people understood the “ugly me” concept, then more children could have support. As an educator, with a tremendous amount of trauma training, I believe this book is a reminder of how we need to be mindful of what’s happening to the children we educate and continue to look out for those “ugly me” moments to provide support when necessary.

[Bonnie Thrasher · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the darkest books I have ever read. Randi is so typical of an inner-city middle schooler. She identifies this Ugly side that is mean and cruel. But as she tells of just one day, her first day of seventh grade, the reader is shredded. I’m not one to censor books. But oh my… if a young person reads this, they need to partner read it with someone else, a parent would be my advice. For oh, this life is so UGLY. Randi is a typical middle schooler. I fear her life is not unique. What our children survive is sometimes literally unbelievable.