This book starts with the events leading up to the Battle of Hastings, where the Duke of Normandy (which is in France) had a very decisive victory against the British. It is explained that the naming of Normandy came from the Normans (Vikings) who settled there. This is all just to point out that the British may have lost, but not (just) to the French. Though technically, the invading army did come from France. This pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the book.
It’s clear the author spent a lot of time researching all the facts, and this is very much appreciated. There are of course a lot of wars covered here, as is always the case with history books. Where the important people go to war, while all the other people die in them. I did learn quite a few interesting things along the way though. Like what the real Richard the Lionheart and his brother John were like, not just how they are depicted in the countless Robin Hood adaptations. Or how British propaganda is responsible for Napoleon’s false reputation. And I learned some fascinating things about the colonization of America. Like the many, many, many embarrassing mistakes that were made. And how problematic it was for everyone involved.
There’s one thing that did irk me quite a bit though. Whenever in history the British suffered a loss, the author always comes up with a handy excuse or turns it around so that the British come out as the moral victors. While whenever the British won, the British author can’t help but gloat over the British superiority and kick down on the French. This is done on purpose, the humoristic tone is added to make the story a bit less dry and more entertaining. And it works up to a certain point. Though after a while it does get quite annoying. Which makes the title very fitting for this book, just not for the French alone. I think the book could have used a little bit of poking fun at the British every once in a while, to balance things out and make this interpretation of history come across as a bit more objective. Though maybe this book would be even better served with a companion novel, depicting the same events but from a French point of view, while poking fun at the British. Especially considering the length of this book.
Another thing that should not be left unsaid is the part about colonization. Because this book shines a big bright spotlight on all the notable mistakes the French made and even some of the successes the British achieved, but tries to be as brief as possible about everything the British did wrong. It is very important to understand that you don’t get to see the whole picture here. The British part is casually mentioned in a few sentences here and there, while the French part takes up multiple long chapters.
For example, the author says: “Unlike the Brits, who mainly steered clear of long colonial wars and advised France to do the same, the French dug in, pitching their greatest generals against the Vietnamese rebels.” But it’s never mentioned how long the British colonial wars lasted for, or even how many of them there were. So how can we compare the two? Also, if you read this sentence correctly, it says the Brits stayed clear of LONG colonial wars. What does the author mean by long? It’s just a sentence that can imply things or at least leaves it open to interpretation. And a lot is said about India for example. But there’s only a handful of sentences mentioning that the British were there to fill their pockets too. While the rest of the chapter is quite detailed about what the French did there.
The thing is, this all just feels a bit disproportionate. I mean, like half the countries in the world right now have an independence day to celebrate their independence from the British. That’s something that I do feel could have at least been mentioned a bit more clearly, to balance things out, instead of focusing so much on what the French did wrong. Though I do appreciate that some mistakes the British made during certain conflicts are at least mentioned throughout the book.
The author also concludes this book by saying: “we can proudly affirm that, right down at DNA level, we’re not the same as the French. Vive la différence! (Long live the difference!)” Which honestly summarizes the essence of the problem, not just of the French/British conflicts. French and British history overlaps so much during the last thousand years, it’s impossible to separate one from the other. And yet some people still see things as “us” versus “them.” What this book should have concluded with is by saying that we’re all human. We all make mistakes. What’s done is done. Let’s learn from our mistakes and move on from them. It’s never been “us” versus “them.” It’s just been “us” the whole time, fighting amongst each other. And now it’s time to put our differences aside and start working together as one people, living together on the same planet and facing the same problems.
The book is what the title suggests. It’s a thousand years worth of conflicts between the British and the French, where the British author pokes fun at the French from start to finish. It very much focuses on one side of the story though. With the French losses and mistakes being the prime focus of this book. While the British part of the story doesn’t feel properly explored at times. So you don’t really get to see the full picture.