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The Narcissism of Small Differences
A hilarious and poignant novel about growing up, buying in, selling out, and the death of irony.
Joe Keen and Ana Urbanek have been a couple for a long time, with all the requisite lulls and temptations, yet they remain unmarried and without children, contrary to their Midwestern values (and parents’ wishes). Now on the cusp of forty, they are both working at jobs that they’re not even sure they believe in anymore, but with significantly varying returns. Ana is successful, Joe is floundering—both in limbo, caught somewhere between mainstream and alternative culture, sincerity and irony, achievement and arrested development.
Set against the backdrop of bottomed-out 2009 Detroit, a once-great American city now in transition, part decaying and part striving to be reborn, The Narcissism of Small Differences is the story of an aging creative class, doomed to ask the questions: Is it possible to outgrow irony? Does not having children make you one? Is there even such a thing as selling out anymore?
More than a comedy of manners, The Narcissism of Small Differences is a comedy of compromise: the financial compromises we make to feed ourselves; the moral compromises that justify our questionable actions; the everyday compromises we all make just to survive in the world. Yet it’s also about the consequences of those compromises— and the people we become because of them—in our quest for a life that is our own and no one else’s.
Joe Keen and Ana Urbanek have been a couple for a long time, with all the requisite lulls and temptations, yet they remain unmarried and without children, contrary to their Midwestern values (and parents’ wishes). Now on the cusp of forty, they are both working at jobs that they’re not even sure they believe in anymore, but with significantly varying returns. Ana is successful, Joe is floundering—both in limbo, caught somewhere between mainstream and alternative culture, sincerity and irony, achievement and arrested development.
Set against the backdrop of bottomed-out 2009 Detroit, a once-great American city now in transition, part decaying and part striving to be reborn, The Narcissism of Small Differences is the story of an aging creative class, doomed to ask the questions: Is it possible to outgrow irony? Does not having children make you one? Is there even such a thing as selling out anymore?
More than a comedy of manners, The Narcissism of Small Differences is a comedy of compromise: the financial compromises we make to feed ourselves; the moral compromises that justify our questionable actions; the everyday compromises we all make just to survive in the world. Yet it’s also about the consequences of those compromises— and the people we become because of them—in our quest for a life that is our own and no one else’s.
304 pages, Paperback
First published May 5, 2020
27 people are currently reading
714 people want to read
About the author
Michael Zadoorian
10 books237 followersMichael Zadoorian is the author of five works of fiction. His second novel, The Leisure Seeker was recently made into a feature film starring Helen Mirren and Donald Sutherland.
His most recent novel is The Narcissism of Small Differences. Set in bottomed-out 2009 Detroit, it’s the story of Joe Keen and Ana Urbanek, an unmarried Gen X couple with no kids or mortgage, as Midwestern parents seem to require. Now on the cusp of forty, both work at jobs that they’re not sure they believe in anymore, yet with varying returns. Ana is successful, Joe is floundering—both caught somewhere between mainstream and alternative culture, sincerity and irony, achievement and arrested development. The Narcissism of Small Differences tells of an aging creative class, doomed to ask the questions: Is it possible to outgrow irony? Does not having children make you one? Is there even such a thing as selling out anymore? By turns wry and ribald, kitschy and gritty, poignant and thoughtful, The Narcissism of Small Differences is the story of Joe and Ana’s life together, their relationship, their tribes, their work, and their comic quest for a life that is their own and no one else’s.
His third novel was Beautiful Music. Set in 1970’s era Detroit, Beautiful Music is about one young man’s transformation through music. Danny Yzemski is a husky, pop radio–loving loner balancing a dysfunctional home life with the sudden harsh realities of freshman year at a high school marked by racial turbulence. When tragedy strikes the family, Danny’s mother becomes increasingly erratic and angry about the seismic cultural shifts unfolding in her city and the world. As she tries to keep it together with the help of Librium, highballs, and breakfast cereal, Danny finds his own reason to carry on: rock ‘n’ roll. Beautiful Music is a funny and poignant story about the power of music and its ability to save one’s soul.
Zadoorian’s second novel, The Leisure Seeker was an international bestseller and translated into over 20 different languages worldwide. John and Ella, two eighty-somethings, decide to kidnap themselves from the doctors and grown children who run their lives for a final adventure in their ancient Winnebago. In a starred review, Booklist wrote "The Leisure Seeker is pretty much like life itself: joyous, painful, moving, tragic, mysterious, and not to be missed." The L.A. Times said: Zadoorian is true to these geezers. He draws them in their most honest light. I hoped for a book that would make me laugh during these tight times, and I was rewarded." And the Sydney Morning Herald stated: "This is a sad, sweet love letter to a fading America… sharp humour about aging and a quietly shocking ending.”
Michael Zadoorian's first novel, Second Hand is about love and loss for a Detroit-area junk store owner. The New York Times Book Review said “Second Hand may be a gift from the (Tiki) gods” and called it "a romantic adventure that explores what Yeats called 'the foul rag and bone shop of the heart.'" Selected for Barnes & Noble's Discover Great New Writers Program, Second Hand also received the Great Lakes Colleges Association prestigious New Writers Award. Translated into Italian, Portuguese and French, it's still a cult favorite.
His short story collection The Lost Tiki Palaces of Detroit follows characters coming to terms with the past and the present in a broken city. Lansing Journal called them "…stories that grab you, shake you and slap you upside the head." The Ann Arbor Observer called the stories “sometimes wildly funny and more than a little crazy, yet they have a heart-breaking affection for the battered lives they portray."
Zadoorian is a recipient of a Kresge Artist Fellowship in the Literary Arts, the Columbia University Anahid Literary Award, the Great Lakes Colleges Association New Writers Award, the GLIBA Great Lakes Great Reads award, and two Michigan Notable Book Awards. He lives in the Detroit area.
His most recent novel is The Narcissism of Small Differences. Set in bottomed-out 2009 Detroit, it’s the story of Joe Keen and Ana Urbanek, an unmarried Gen X couple with no kids or mortgage, as Midwestern parents seem to require. Now on the cusp of forty, both work at jobs that they’re not sure they believe in anymore, yet with varying returns. Ana is successful, Joe is floundering—both caught somewhere between mainstream and alternative culture, sincerity and irony, achievement and arrested development. The Narcissism of Small Differences tells of an aging creative class, doomed to ask the questions: Is it possible to outgrow irony? Does not having children make you one? Is there even such a thing as selling out anymore? By turns wry and ribald, kitschy and gritty, poignant and thoughtful, The Narcissism of Small Differences is the story of Joe and Ana’s life together, their relationship, their tribes, their work, and their comic quest for a life that is their own and no one else’s.
His third novel was Beautiful Music. Set in 1970’s era Detroit, Beautiful Music is about one young man’s transformation through music. Danny Yzemski is a husky, pop radio–loving loner balancing a dysfunctional home life with the sudden harsh realities of freshman year at a high school marked by racial turbulence. When tragedy strikes the family, Danny’s mother becomes increasingly erratic and angry about the seismic cultural shifts unfolding in her city and the world. As she tries to keep it together with the help of Librium, highballs, and breakfast cereal, Danny finds his own reason to carry on: rock ‘n’ roll. Beautiful Music is a funny and poignant story about the power of music and its ability to save one’s soul.
Zadoorian’s second novel, The Leisure Seeker was an international bestseller and translated into over 20 different languages worldwide. John and Ella, two eighty-somethings, decide to kidnap themselves from the doctors and grown children who run their lives for a final adventure in their ancient Winnebago. In a starred review, Booklist wrote "The Leisure Seeker is pretty much like life itself: joyous, painful, moving, tragic, mysterious, and not to be missed." The L.A. Times said: Zadoorian is true to these geezers. He draws them in their most honest light. I hoped for a book that would make me laugh during these tight times, and I was rewarded." And the Sydney Morning Herald stated: "This is a sad, sweet love letter to a fading America… sharp humour about aging and a quietly shocking ending.”
Michael Zadoorian's first novel, Second Hand is about love and loss for a Detroit-area junk store owner. The New York Times Book Review said “Second Hand may be a gift from the (Tiki) gods” and called it "a romantic adventure that explores what Yeats called 'the foul rag and bone shop of the heart.'" Selected for Barnes & Noble's Discover Great New Writers Program, Second Hand also received the Great Lakes Colleges Association prestigious New Writers Award. Translated into Italian, Portuguese and French, it's still a cult favorite.
His short story collection The Lost Tiki Palaces of Detroit follows characters coming to terms with the past and the present in a broken city. Lansing Journal called them "…stories that grab you, shake you and slap you upside the head." The Ann Arbor Observer called the stories “sometimes wildly funny and more than a little crazy, yet they have a heart-breaking affection for the battered lives they portray."
Zadoorian is a recipient of a Kresge Artist Fellowship in the Literary Arts, the Columbia University Anahid Literary Award, the Great Lakes Colleges Association New Writers Award, the GLIBA Great Lakes Great Reads award, and two Michigan Notable Book Awards. He lives in the Detroit area.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
July 8, 2021
Real Rating: 3.5* of five, rounded down because really?
I RECEIVED AN ARC FROM THE PUBLISHER. THANK YOU.
My Review: I think Author Zadoorian's Detroitophilia needed this book to come to a head...
Joe is an urban explorer, a man whose purpose in life is looking for something to look at; this isn't a tremendously profitable career, but he freelances as a local-music critic and spelunks the abandoned spaces of the city as his avocation. He has no mortgage and no kids, just a partner of over a decade, Ana. They're living an intentional life, but that ain't free. So Ana, his squeeze, makes the bills...in advertising, in a dead and dying city, that takes skill and luck which she abounds in.
And then, as it always will, Life happens. The two of them are wearing on each other. The thing about stasis is, no matter if it's tolerable or not, it has to end. Things in life are growing or dying:
There's nothing like the world for knocking your corners off...just sucks when the chunks go flying into those closest to you.
If Ana had wanted a sullen teenager, she would've had a kid...but here she is with a fractured man-child who resents her for winning their bread and whose friends are nasty pieces of White Male Privilege...Transphobia: one-half star off. N-word and repeated misogynistic bullshit use by white character: one-half star off. Yes, it's set in 2009...yes, it's not like these are people whose sophistication is meant to hold them up as examples. But this is ugliness and prejudice, and it doesn't get treated as such.
But the story is about more than that. It's about what it means to be You at last. These are forty-year-olds doing what the middle-aged literary characters of US while privilege are supposed to do: Reflecting on the emptiness of a life of getting and spending. And coming to terms with what they really, in fact, want from The System. Ana's decisions are less crowd-sourced...her one obvious friend isn't who she thought she was at exactly the wrong moment...than Joe's, but considering the caliber of his friends that's a good thing.
I found the story...exasperating. I found the dramatis personae...uncongenial. I found the ending...condign.
I RECEIVED AN ARC FROM THE PUBLISHER. THANK YOU.
My Review: I think Author Zadoorian's Detroitophilia needed this book to come to a head...
It was a way for gray-flannel types to shed their inhibitions, go native, and get weird—uninhibited boozing, semierotic dancing to faux-exotic music, gaudy flowered shirts, sticky finger foods, unclad maiden flesh, and phallic tiki idols. At one point, Detroit had three Polynesian palaces, but when the city started bleeding honkies after the '67 race riot, all of them eventually closed.
–and–
Should you be going to tiki parties in your forties? Was it possible to maintain ironic distance for that long, or should you have outgrown it by then? How long before you needed an irony supplement?
Joe is an urban explorer, a man whose purpose in life is looking for something to look at; this isn't a tremendously profitable career, but he freelances as a local-music critic and spelunks the abandoned spaces of the city as his avocation. He has no mortgage and no kids, just a partner of over a decade, Ana. They're living an intentional life, but that ain't free. So Ana, his squeeze, makes the bills...in advertising, in a dead and dying city, that takes skill and luck which she abounds in.
And then, as it always will, Life happens. The two of them are wearing on each other. The thing about stasis is, no matter if it's tolerable or not, it has to end. Things in life are growing or dying:
“Truth like light, blinds. Falsehood, on the contrary, is a beautiful twilight that enhances every object.”
–and–
When is it going to end, this worshiping of ephemera? How long will our generation be obsessed with the past, with stuff that barely meant anything when it happened, that’s remembered only because it’s old or bad or weird or kooky?
There's nothing like the world for knocking your corners off...just sucks when the chunks go flying into those closest to you.
"You drop names and make references. You talk about songs, but rarely does a song speak to you. You laugh at cleverness because you recognize it's supposed to be funny, not because it is funny. You know about things for the sake of knowing about them, because you think you're supposed to, because you're afraid of being left out, not because they interest you. You're a dilettante, a potterer. You simply stopped trying to be anything more."
–and–
"It looks different through the lens, doesn't it?" {Joe's friend} said {to him}.
"I don't know why. It just makes more sense this way. It's easier to take in."
"Uh-huh. Sometimes what I'm looking at is too intense for me to understand without a filter, a way to view it. The camera helps." Brendan leveled his camera...and squeezed off a shot.
"Why is this so magnificent? What's wrong with us?"
"I told you...The verity of decay."
If Ana had wanted a sullen teenager, she would've had a kid...but here she is with a fractured man-child who resents her for winning their bread and whose friends are nasty pieces of White Male Privilege...Transphobia: one-half star off. N-word and repeated misogynistic bullshit use by white character: one-half star off. Yes, it's set in 2009...yes, it's not like these are people whose sophistication is meant to hold them up as examples. But this is ugliness and prejudice, and it doesn't get treated as such.
But the story is about more than that. It's about what it means to be You at last. These are forty-year-olds doing what the middle-aged literary characters of US while privilege are supposed to do: Reflecting on the emptiness of a life of getting and spending. And coming to terms with what they really, in fact, want from The System. Ana's decisions are less crowd-sourced...her one obvious friend isn't who she thought she was at exactly the wrong moment...than Joe's, but considering the caliber of his friends that's a good thing.
I found the story...exasperating. I found the dramatis personae...uncongenial. I found the ending...condign.
May 18, 2020
Did the main characters really need to make a transphobic joke to their friend about his Match.com date when they run into him at the bar?! It is REALLY not hard to not go there. It is REALLY easy for an editor to flag this garbage as offensive. Love how the author shows his own transphobia. Gross.
Edited to add: a white character later uses the ‘n’ word. This seems like the authors attempt to character build in a way that requires that you dislike certain characters. Not an excuse. There are far more creative ways to do that than casually perpetuating harm against groups of people with offensive words. This needs to stop in publishing. Do better.
Edited to add: a white character later uses the ‘n’ word. This seems like the authors attempt to character build in a way that requires that you dislike certain characters. Not an excuse. There are far more creative ways to do that than casually perpetuating harm against groups of people with offensive words. This needs to stop in publishing. Do better.
October 21, 2020
The Narcissism of Small Differences is a strange and not, I think, appropriate title for Michael Zadoorian’s new novel about Joe and Ana, two middle-aged professionals living and working in Detroit. Many readers of this review are perhaps familiar with people who are narcissistic, that is, they appear to be too full of themselves. I think we all agree people like this get old in a hurry. I thought long and hard about whether Joe and Ana are narcissistic and decided they are not. In fact, they are like most people; that is, they are trying to make sense of the world they think they are living in, and this world is Detroit, a city that shows signs of degeneration and decay. I think most readers will like Joe and Ana, which would not be the case if they were vain and full of self-love.
Joe is a writer who barely ekes out a living writing reviews and short pieces for local newspapers and magazines. Fortunately, his partner Ana is a successful creative marketing director who makes enough money for both of them. That said, Joe feels guilty that he does not do his share when it comes time to pay the bills and he decides to rectify this problem by accepting a full-time job with a third-rate newspaper. He is happy to be making a decent salary and now is able to contribute to the upkeep of the household. Unfortunately, he hates his job. His partner Ana gets promoted and now has added responsibility to work with clients and advertising campaigns. Sadly, she also hates her new job responsibilities.
We readers watch from the sidelines as these two good people slowly come apart after fifteen years of living together. The decay in their relationship is mirrored by the city they both love, but sadly watch decay and die. Michael Zadoorian tells the story of Joe and Ana well. Joe meets with an odd mix of friends at the local tavern and Ana has a friend and partner at her marketing company who is quirky and entertaining. Zadoorian is skillful at writing entertaining dialogue and this is essential in a book in which not much happens. Joe does have a couple of adventures surreptitiously breaking into old buildings in Detroit scheduled for demolition and Ana goes on a couple of marketing junkets that test her ability to remain true to her relationship with Joe. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed Joe and Ana’s story and this is certainly due to Michael Zadoorian’s gifts as a novelist. He takes the mundane and shows us that even daily interactions can take on meaning and value. Zadoorian does not have the talent of Trollope, who is unsurpassed in his ability to elevate the ordinary lives of people and invest them with the significance they often deserve. That said, title not withstanding, The Narcissism of Small Differences is often entertaining and sometimes even enlightening. Recommended.
Joe is a writer who barely ekes out a living writing reviews and short pieces for local newspapers and magazines. Fortunately, his partner Ana is a successful creative marketing director who makes enough money for both of them. That said, Joe feels guilty that he does not do his share when it comes time to pay the bills and he decides to rectify this problem by accepting a full-time job with a third-rate newspaper. He is happy to be making a decent salary and now is able to contribute to the upkeep of the household. Unfortunately, he hates his job. His partner Ana gets promoted and now has added responsibility to work with clients and advertising campaigns. Sadly, she also hates her new job responsibilities.
We readers watch from the sidelines as these two good people slowly come apart after fifteen years of living together. The decay in their relationship is mirrored by the city they both love, but sadly watch decay and die. Michael Zadoorian tells the story of Joe and Ana well. Joe meets with an odd mix of friends at the local tavern and Ana has a friend and partner at her marketing company who is quirky and entertaining. Zadoorian is skillful at writing entertaining dialogue and this is essential in a book in which not much happens. Joe does have a couple of adventures surreptitiously breaking into old buildings in Detroit scheduled for demolition and Ana goes on a couple of marketing junkets that test her ability to remain true to her relationship with Joe. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed Joe and Ana’s story and this is certainly due to Michael Zadoorian’s gifts as a novelist. He takes the mundane and shows us that even daily interactions can take on meaning and value. Zadoorian does not have the talent of Trollope, who is unsurpassed in his ability to elevate the ordinary lives of people and invest them with the significance they often deserve. That said, title not withstanding, The Narcissism of Small Differences is often entertaining and sometimes even enlightening. Recommended.
May 27, 2020
The Narcissism of Small Differences is about a couple, Ana and Joe, who have been together for fifteen years, outlasting most of the other couples they knew, despite never marrying or having children. They'd been happy with what they had -- Joe is a freelancer, writing for various alternative magazines, reviewing movies and music, and Ana works as an art director for an advertising company. But the cracks in the relationship have begun to show. Ana is tired of supporting them and of perceiving Joe's superiority in not have sold out like she did. Joe is finding fewer and fewer freelance gigs and tired of feeling like he's not doing his share. When Ana receives a promotion, things become less tenable.
This book is full of great observations. Joe and Ana are so well-crafted and believable that I was rooting for both of them even when I was yelling at one of them or the other in my head. It's a novel about Detroit, where Joe meets up with a blogger who explores and photographs Detroit's decaying splendor and they both are fiercely loyal to a city that means different things to different people. Michael Zadoorian is a fantastic writer, observant and with an easy style that made reading just one more page very easy.
This book is full of great observations. Joe and Ana are so well-crafted and believable that I was rooting for both of them even when I was yelling at one of them or the other in my head. It's a novel about Detroit, where Joe meets up with a blogger who explores and photographs Detroit's decaying splendor and they both are fiercely loyal to a city that means different things to different people. Michael Zadoorian is a fantastic writer, observant and with an easy style that made reading just one more page very easy.
August 25, 2020
I know I really, really like an author's voice when I just automatically read their newest book, without reading reviews or even a synopsis. Zadoorian is one of my favorite authors and it's even more wonderful because he's also from the D! There's just something essentially "Detroit" in his works and I don't just mean the setting. It's a state of mind and, though it took me living in Pittsburgh for five years to appreciate it, he captures my beloved city in a way that just makes me smile: the grittiness of urban decay and abandoned buildings, the allure of the local neighborhoods, and defending the D. when it's bashed. Okay, enough gushing. I read this in two days as I just couldn't put it down yet, when I got half way through, I never wanted it to end. I've read all Zadoorian's works since he has been published but now I want to re-read his earlier works--especially the short stories--and I NEVER re-read books. If you're from Detroit, and love it with all its faults, I highly recommend this writer.
September 7, 2020
This book reminded me of the real day worlds of lots of millennials I know, so in that sense it was hard to go wild about it. I feel like I know this story. There was nothing unique or unusual about the story.
While characterized in the beginning as "broken hipsters", 40-year-olds Ana and Joe are really just aging Gen Yers (a/k/a millennials). Like so many current day 40-year-0lds, they cannot make important life decisions, seemingly stalled in purgatory, unable or unwilling to see their own actions got them where they are in life.
Should they get married? Should they have kids? Should they lose their meaningless jobs? I wanted to scream "Get a real job" at times or "Do something already." But they are lost puppies. While there was some character transformation, it was not sufficient to pull them out of the ranks of the perpetually lost souls.
I know I sound like a Boomer (I'm Gen X) but I didn't find a whole lot to engage me in this glimpse of life for millennials.
While characterized in the beginning as "broken hipsters", 40-year-olds Ana and Joe are really just aging Gen Yers (a/k/a millennials). Like so many current day 40-year-0lds, they cannot make important life decisions, seemingly stalled in purgatory, unable or unwilling to see their own actions got them where they are in life.
Should they get married? Should they have kids? Should they lose their meaningless jobs? I wanted to scream "Get a real job" at times or "Do something already." But they are lost puppies. While there was some character transformation, it was not sufficient to pull them out of the ranks of the perpetually lost souls.
I know I sound like a Boomer (I'm Gen X) but I didn't find a whole lot to engage me in this glimpse of life for millennials.
July 3, 2020
I honestly couldn’t tell at first if I liked it or not, which is a common emotion for me with this author. There’s a stark, everyday realism that is unpalatable if your looking to escape, but the writing is so good you keep going. In the end, it was not my favorite of his books but I still kinda loved it. I think I can’t be fair, as a newly 40 year old in a 19 year unwed relationship, maybe I see too much of my life in here to be objective!
January 29, 2022
I could tell from the first chapter that reading this book when I'm tired, stressed, and rethinking life choices but feeling stuck in them, wasn't going to be enjoyable. Perhaps if you are in a different life stage, reading about 40-ish people who are committed to a perpetual uncommitted lifestyle of a 23-25 year old, would interest you. While I liked the two main characters and sympathized with the stress and ennui, it was about as boring to read as the title and font suggest.
March 5, 2022
I enjoyed learning about Detroit and reading a book that takes place locally. Sometimes the Michigan references felt too overt though, like if you live here you don't actually repeatedly reference in conversation that you're in Michigan. The book gets into the minds of an artsy, child-free couple --Ana and Joe-- who are just turning 40 and are struggling with their work and personal lives. I got tired of the binary choices between selling out to a 9-5 business job or being broke and suffering to be truly artistic. They also had total disdain for anyone who lived differently than them (suburbanites are hated on really hard) while conversely feeling like everyone judged their life choices. Maybe it's good writing to show these characters lacking self-awareness and depth or maybe the author was just reflecting his own internal struggles. Either way by the end, I just didn't real care for the main characters and was ready for the book to be over.
February 4, 2020
Michael Zadoorian has written some wonderful books such as "The Leisure Seekers" and "Beautiful Music." This book, however, is a mistake from the beginning to the end. The author is usually extremely good at character development, but the main characters Ana and Joe, are a couple of aging hipsters whose biggest problem is that they are turning 40. First world problems are not enough to make a book relevant. Zadoorian evens sums the book up by quoting The Dud Avocado by Elaine Dundy when she states that nonconformists "are so violently individualistic as to be practically interchangable." Having spent 40 years living in Austin, TX, I have had more than my share of exposure to the hipster culture. I just wanted to tell Ana and Joe grow up and stop whining.
February 15, 2024
For a random pick up in the friends of the library I really enjoyed this book. What I will say is that there was a drop of the hard r that was like totally not necessary and caught me off guard (not that it’s ever necessary?)
I just need to know in real life how many couples mend their relationship when people are involved in a near death experience or it seems like they’re going to die?
As someone who is constantly in an existential crisis, this book helped but also worsened it. I’d loooove to be a dink (double income no kids) but to then quit? Scawwy!
I thought the characters were not deplorable. And FINALLLLLY a book with women characters that I can stand!!!
I just need to know in real life how many couples mend their relationship when people are involved in a near death experience or it seems like they’re going to die?
As someone who is constantly in an existential crisis, this book helped but also worsened it. I’d loooove to be a dink (double income no kids) but to then quit? Scawwy!
I thought the characters were not deplorable. And FINALLLLLY a book with women characters that I can stand!!!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 10, 2021
I want to give this 2 stars but I'm giving it 3 because it was probably better than it seemed and was just ruined by the awful reader who did the audio version that I listened to. He sounded like a cross between Joe Pesci and Booger from the Revenge of the Nerds movies. I'm also giving it the extra star because it's Michael Zadoorian.
July 2, 2025
Truly it was quite boring. It was written fine enough and easy to read but a lot of the dialogue reminded me of student films. It touched on some interesting ideas about irony and nostalgia but it didn’t explore them deeply or specifically enough. The characters were sooooo flat and boring.
July 5, 2023
I date a Detroiter and I lived in Buffalo for several years and woooohooooo this feels about right.
May 14, 2020
The setting of this novel is Detroit in 2009 - a city with its glory days behind it and an uncertain future. The city is decaying as part of it longs to be reborn. Just like the city with its strong pulls in diverse directions, so too is the relationship between Joe and Ana. Both of them are turning 40, they both work in jobs that don't make them happy and they aren't really sure any more how to make each other happy. They have been together for 15 years and, much to their families dismay, are neither married nor have children. They both want to be successful - Joe as a writer and Ana as an advertising writer but as they turn 40 they are questioning their jobs, their life and their feelings for each other. They both have friends that mean a lot to them but none of seem like very good friends and Joe's friends are more interested in drinking than in being supportive and Ana's friend seems to spend a lot of time making fun of Ana's relationship with Joe. They strive to be hip and worry that they are weird and are not sure what in life will make them feel fulfilled.
I must admit that I love books about Michigan and about Detroit specifically. I really enjoyed reading about places that I knew and had been to in the past. My main problem with this book is that I didn't like any of the characters - not Ana or Joe and none of their friends. It's hard to love a book if you don't like any of the characters. However, the setting in Detroit almost made up for my dislike of the characters so this was an enjoyable book for me. I didn't enjoy it as much as I enjoyed his last two books but it was still interesting.
Thanks to the publisher for a copy of this book to read and review. All opinions are my own.
I must admit that I love books about Michigan and about Detroit specifically. I really enjoyed reading about places that I knew and had been to in the past. My main problem with this book is that I didn't like any of the characters - not Ana or Joe and none of their friends. It's hard to love a book if you don't like any of the characters. However, the setting in Detroit almost made up for my dislike of the characters so this was an enjoyable book for me. I didn't enjoy it as much as I enjoyed his last two books but it was still interesting.
Thanks to the publisher for a copy of this book to read and review. All opinions are my own.
March 31, 2020
This is the type of novel that makes me think the reader will probably have to identify with the characters to appreciate it. Or at least find them amusing. Or with this specific book, maybe those interested in anything and everything Detroit will think it's a worthwhile read.
For me, it was a total waste of reading time. It was a plodding story, complete with colorless characters, profanity galore, dirty talk, dull as dirt ad campaigns, frequent references to mostly obscure books and bands; and completely unoriginal thoughts and conversations about living together but not marrying, deciding not to have children, worrying about not having a “real” job and turning 40.
Even the illicit exploration of old Detroit buildings, by one of the protagonists, was ruined by the presence of a pot smoking, jokester photographer. Could the characters and events in a novel be any less engrossing?
(Note: I received a free ARC of this book from Amazon Vine.)
For me, it was a total waste of reading time. It was a plodding story, complete with colorless characters, profanity galore, dirty talk, dull as dirt ad campaigns, frequent references to mostly obscure books and bands; and completely unoriginal thoughts and conversations about living together but not marrying, deciding not to have children, worrying about not having a “real” job and turning 40.
Even the illicit exploration of old Detroit buildings, by one of the protagonists, was ruined by the presence of a pot smoking, jokester photographer. Could the characters and events in a novel be any less engrossing?
(Note: I received a free ARC of this book from Amazon Vine.)
December 26, 2020
I loved this novel about Joe and Ana, 40-year-olds living in Detroit, MI in 2009. What a clear perceptive cataloging the feelings, culture, atmosphere and prospects (or lack thereof) of time and place. What does it mean to decide to not sell out, not get married, not have kids? What choice do you have when your company asks you to bend your moral values? What is the lure of decaying buildings that make people want to explore? The answers this novel provides will make you both laugh out loud and feel real emotion for the couple as they sort out their circumstances with each other and for the next phase of their lives. Zadoorian’s writing is spot on and captivating. Bravo!
October 16, 2020
Another wonderful novel by Zadoorian. This one is especially funny--laughed out loud a few times! Don't be discouraged by the first part--it is not constantly depressingly about a couple in trouble. It's a novel about contemporary Detroit viewed through the eyes of people in their early 40s--still creating their careers and deciding what's most important in life. As always, Zadoorian has incredible skill at painting both place and people's interior thoughts. Can't wait for the next one!
April 16, 2021
Enjoyable read. I love this author because he is local sets his stories locally. It's nice when settings are places you know! The characters are realistic and easy to relate to.
August 10, 2021
Over a year ago, I chose this book from a publisher catalogue because the premise appealed to me; it’s about a stagnant romantic relationship between two people who are living together, with no kids, and conflicting job schedules and work ethics. Many people would label them as narcissists, which is why I wanted to read this book so badly. My faithful readers will know by now that I am fascinated by relationships, and the mundane realities of those you live with. The very fact that this book centers on just that, the day-to-day life of Ana and Joe, is what appealed to me. The Narcissism of Small Differences by Michael Zadoorian is about two people on the cusp of their forties, but it’s also about our life choices, how we compare those choices to others, and why we follow a particular path in life, whether it’s based on convenience or conviction.
Plot Summary
It’s Detroit in 2009, and Ana and Joe live a comfortable, childless (by choice), existence. Joe is a freelance writer and critic, barely scraping by with his articles on pop culture, movies and music. He has a fascination with the crumbling and abandoned buildings that are so common in Detroit at that time, plus he always had plans to write a novel, but he’s also embarrassed that he makes so little money compared to his partner Ana, so he does nothing about either of his passions. Ana works long hours at an advertising agency and she is the main breadwinner of their house, which she is both proud of, and resents. It’s been months since Ana and Joe slept together, and their small and inconsequential interactions are grating on each other more than usual. There are no major conflicts or plot twists to point to in this novel, instead, it plods along with Ana and Joe as they navigate adulthood over the course of about a year. Joe ends up taking a job he considers ‘selling out’ while Ana’s work increases to the point of exhaustion, especially when her agency takes on a few clients with questionable ethics. It’s really just about their life: their fairly average, comfortable existence.
My Thoughts
Not surprisingly, this is a character-driven novel that drills deep into both Ana and Joe’s psyche to drive the storyline. Joe frequents a few local bars with his friends, and it’s not until they bluntly tell him he needs to grow up and find a real job that he easily slips into a fairly well-paying job despite his misgivings about the paper its a part of (it’s called “Dollar Daily”). As he quickly learns, working full time sucks when it’s something you don’t love, but he feels good about finally contributing to the household expenses in a meaningful way. Ana on the other hand, makes a somewhat out-of-character decision that adds what little drama this novel holds, but instead of focusing on the fallout, the narrative centers on this internal implications of this decision, rather than the inevitable bomb it could erupt in their relationship. It’s as if the author is choosing the more difficult story to write, Zadoorian ignores that larger issues to pick away at the minutiae of their days. Some readers will avoid this book for that very reason, but this stylistic choice fascinated me.
In the accompanying press material for this book, many people refer to this book as a comedy of manners, which I have to say, did not ring true for me. There was nothing particularly comedic about this book, nether Ana or Joe were funny, and not much happened that would elicit a laugh from anyone. It’s not depressing, but it’s certainly not hilarious either. I love a good comedy so I was disappointed this didn’t offer any humour, but it wasn’t the driving force for me reading it either. Ana and Joe’s situation isn’t funny, but giving either of them a sharp or sarcastic tongue would have helped to lighten the moods between them, especially because their conversations often turned into arguments, stemming from Ana’s defensiveness or Joe’s obliviousness. Thankfully their sparring matches don’t last long (no one wants to read pages of a couple arguing, not even me!) but we get enough of it to see the roundabout way in which they talk to one another. It doesn’t take a couples counsellor to see where they are going wrong.
I’d like to end this review with a question for my fellow bloggers; Joe admits that he sells his review copies to make a little extra cash, and claims everyone does it. Perhaps us book reviewers just seem to be a particularly upstanding bunch (or maybe it’s because books aren’t worth as much?), but I would never dream of doing this, and I understood that most book reviewers would never do this either. Have you come across any reviewers who sell their gifted copies after they read them? Am I just a goody two-shoes?
To read the rest of my reviews, please visit my blog:
https://ivereadthis.com/
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Or follow me on social media!
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Plot Summary
It’s Detroit in 2009, and Ana and Joe live a comfortable, childless (by choice), existence. Joe is a freelance writer and critic, barely scraping by with his articles on pop culture, movies and music. He has a fascination with the crumbling and abandoned buildings that are so common in Detroit at that time, plus he always had plans to write a novel, but he’s also embarrassed that he makes so little money compared to his partner Ana, so he does nothing about either of his passions. Ana works long hours at an advertising agency and she is the main breadwinner of their house, which she is both proud of, and resents. It’s been months since Ana and Joe slept together, and their small and inconsequential interactions are grating on each other more than usual. There are no major conflicts or plot twists to point to in this novel, instead, it plods along with Ana and Joe as they navigate adulthood over the course of about a year. Joe ends up taking a job he considers ‘selling out’ while Ana’s work increases to the point of exhaustion, especially when her agency takes on a few clients with questionable ethics. It’s really just about their life: their fairly average, comfortable existence.
My Thoughts
Not surprisingly, this is a character-driven novel that drills deep into both Ana and Joe’s psyche to drive the storyline. Joe frequents a few local bars with his friends, and it’s not until they bluntly tell him he needs to grow up and find a real job that he easily slips into a fairly well-paying job despite his misgivings about the paper its a part of (it’s called “Dollar Daily”). As he quickly learns, working full time sucks when it’s something you don’t love, but he feels good about finally contributing to the household expenses in a meaningful way. Ana on the other hand, makes a somewhat out-of-character decision that adds what little drama this novel holds, but instead of focusing on the fallout, the narrative centers on this internal implications of this decision, rather than the inevitable bomb it could erupt in their relationship. It’s as if the author is choosing the more difficult story to write, Zadoorian ignores that larger issues to pick away at the minutiae of their days. Some readers will avoid this book for that very reason, but this stylistic choice fascinated me.
In the accompanying press material for this book, many people refer to this book as a comedy of manners, which I have to say, did not ring true for me. There was nothing particularly comedic about this book, nether Ana or Joe were funny, and not much happened that would elicit a laugh from anyone. It’s not depressing, but it’s certainly not hilarious either. I love a good comedy so I was disappointed this didn’t offer any humour, but it wasn’t the driving force for me reading it either. Ana and Joe’s situation isn’t funny, but giving either of them a sharp or sarcastic tongue would have helped to lighten the moods between them, especially because their conversations often turned into arguments, stemming from Ana’s defensiveness or Joe’s obliviousness. Thankfully their sparring matches don’t last long (no one wants to read pages of a couple arguing, not even me!) but we get enough of it to see the roundabout way in which they talk to one another. It doesn’t take a couples counsellor to see where they are going wrong.
I’d like to end this review with a question for my fellow bloggers; Joe admits that he sells his review copies to make a little extra cash, and claims everyone does it. Perhaps us book reviewers just seem to be a particularly upstanding bunch (or maybe it’s because books aren’t worth as much?), but I would never dream of doing this, and I understood that most book reviewers would never do this either. Have you come across any reviewers who sell their gifted copies after they read them? Am I just a goody two-shoes?
To read the rest of my reviews, please visit my blog:
https://ivereadthis.com/
Sign up for my newsletter here: https://ivereadthis.com/subscribe/
Or follow me on social media!
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Ivereadthis/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ivereadthisblog
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ivereadthis
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD6E...
May 27, 2020
Did a radio review of this book, a good addition to Zadoorian's long list. Here's the text:
Review of Michael Zadoorian’s The Narcissism of Small Differences for Stateside
Sigmund Freud invented lots of words and phrases that have entered our speech. Some we use almost every day, although we’ve long forgotten where they came from. One phrase I’ve always thought deserved more play is “the narcissism of small differences.” Freud used it to help us understand why countries that are close together and share many cultural traditions are the most likely to go to war. These countries become obsessed with and protective of the tiny things that separate them. The extension to human relationships is obvious. Even necessary.
And that is exactly what Detroit’s Michael Zadoorian has done in his new novel. The novel takes place in 2009, when the city was at what might have been its lowest point, where the first glimmers of change were seldom seen. But Detroiters still celebrated their city, its grittiness, its survival instincts. The characters in The Narcissism of Small Differences are about to turn 40, too young to be boomers, yet far too old to have the technological enthusiasms and abilities of millennials. They might be part of what we’ve called “the me generation.”
That phrase certainly describes the central characters in Zadoorian’s novel. Joe and Ana begin as a sympathetic even if self-absorbed couple, life-long Detroiters both, who have been together for some 15 years by the time the novel begins. They’ve never married because they’ve never felt the need. They certainly don’t feel the need for children. They have a nice, affordable small house in Ferndale, just north of 8 Mile but far enough away to make them worried about becoming suburbanites. Ana makes the most money, working for an advertising company. Joe writes music reviews for alternative publications in the city (I don’t think I’d be alone in seeing the MetroTimes in here!).
But as they prepare for 40, their attitudes start changing. They both take better paying jobs that they hate. They start looking at other people with a bit more interest. And they start finding fault with each other, start accentuating those “small differences.” Oh, and I have to make sure I mention that along they way they are often quite funny! It’s both interesting and laughable to see how or if they work things out.
Zadoorian has spent his whole life in Detroit, and the city has been central to everything he has written. Even in small moments, the attitudes of the city shape the characters and their speech. For instance, only a Detroiter, or someone who loves the city, can truly get the mix of bitterness and humor that makes one character respond, when asked why a building is being torn down – “”Why else do they tear anything down in Detroit? For a parking lot.”
Michael Zadoorian writes good novels, and The Narcissism of Small Differences is one of his best. He has become an essential chronicler of the life in Detroit at the beginning of our century.
And here's a link to the radio review (you'll have to scroll down a bit):
https://www.michiganradio.org/post/st...
Review of Michael Zadoorian’s The Narcissism of Small Differences for Stateside
Sigmund Freud invented lots of words and phrases that have entered our speech. Some we use almost every day, although we’ve long forgotten where they came from. One phrase I’ve always thought deserved more play is “the narcissism of small differences.” Freud used it to help us understand why countries that are close together and share many cultural traditions are the most likely to go to war. These countries become obsessed with and protective of the tiny things that separate them. The extension to human relationships is obvious. Even necessary.
And that is exactly what Detroit’s Michael Zadoorian has done in his new novel. The novel takes place in 2009, when the city was at what might have been its lowest point, where the first glimmers of change were seldom seen. But Detroiters still celebrated their city, its grittiness, its survival instincts. The characters in The Narcissism of Small Differences are about to turn 40, too young to be boomers, yet far too old to have the technological enthusiasms and abilities of millennials. They might be part of what we’ve called “the me generation.”
That phrase certainly describes the central characters in Zadoorian’s novel. Joe and Ana begin as a sympathetic even if self-absorbed couple, life-long Detroiters both, who have been together for some 15 years by the time the novel begins. They’ve never married because they’ve never felt the need. They certainly don’t feel the need for children. They have a nice, affordable small house in Ferndale, just north of 8 Mile but far enough away to make them worried about becoming suburbanites. Ana makes the most money, working for an advertising company. Joe writes music reviews for alternative publications in the city (I don’t think I’d be alone in seeing the MetroTimes in here!).
But as they prepare for 40, their attitudes start changing. They both take better paying jobs that they hate. They start looking at other people with a bit more interest. And they start finding fault with each other, start accentuating those “small differences.” Oh, and I have to make sure I mention that along they way they are often quite funny! It’s both interesting and laughable to see how or if they work things out.
Zadoorian has spent his whole life in Detroit, and the city has been central to everything he has written. Even in small moments, the attitudes of the city shape the characters and their speech. For instance, only a Detroiter, or someone who loves the city, can truly get the mix of bitterness and humor that makes one character respond, when asked why a building is being torn down – “”Why else do they tear anything down in Detroit? For a parking lot.”
Michael Zadoorian writes good novels, and The Narcissism of Small Differences is one of his best. He has become an essential chronicler of the life in Detroit at the beginning of our century.
And here's a link to the radio review (you'll have to scroll down a bit):
https://www.michiganradio.org/post/st...
August 16, 2020
“‘...Monk called it ugly beauty. The same reason we look at car accidents and horror films. We want to be reminded. Something in us still seeks the truth, even though it’s easier to hide behind the lies and the shiny surfaces....Things die. This building is dying. Yet we need to look upon it. Bellow said the death is the dark backing a mirror needs if we are to see anything. The death helps you see the life. But you have to be willing to see at all.’”
Writer Joe and Ana, a member of the creative team at an advertising agency, have been together for over a decade, but have yet to marry. The milestone of their fortieth birthdays cause them to examine their relationship, their careers, their decision not to procreate, and their life in Detroit.
Ana’s advertising agency experience reminds me of the workplace dynamics one would expect in a modern day version of Mad Men, where drinking and sexual harassment are still present, and where recently promoted women are presumed to have slept their way to success. Ana and coworker Adrienne are friends, yet resentment arises when one seems to receive preferential treatment from the suave creative director. The reader can’t help but wonder if her job will crush her spirit or if Ana, like Mad Man’s Peggy Olsen, will rise above the toxic culture.
Tiki Bar obsessed Joe receives emotional support from his bevy of male friends. Their friendship is purer than Ana’s relationship with Adrienne. Even his most casual friend, a dude who explores abandoned buildings with him, takes the time to have a discussion about existentialism. In one of my favorite scenes, Joe and his buddies debate the pros of having children from a need for perceived immortality to living vicariously through the kids to having someone to take care of them in old age. All of Joe’s friends have his back, while Ana’s friend seems ready to stab hers.
Ana’s lack of female friends other than Adrienne made me feel sorry for her. Joe’s constant lamenting about his low salary and his need for Ana to basically support him became a bit grating, especially seeing her struggle in a toxic workplace. The book is beautifully written and the dialogue especially sings. The story is told in a dual point of view (Ana and Joe) and is broken up into five sections. Each chapter has a fun title. THE NARCISSISM OF SMALL DIFFERENCES is a good literary read with plenty of quotable moments.
Writer Joe and Ana, a member of the creative team at an advertising agency, have been together for over a decade, but have yet to marry. The milestone of their fortieth birthdays cause them to examine their relationship, their careers, their decision not to procreate, and their life in Detroit.
Ana’s advertising agency experience reminds me of the workplace dynamics one would expect in a modern day version of Mad Men, where drinking and sexual harassment are still present, and where recently promoted women are presumed to have slept their way to success. Ana and coworker Adrienne are friends, yet resentment arises when one seems to receive preferential treatment from the suave creative director. The reader can’t help but wonder if her job will crush her spirit or if Ana, like Mad Man’s Peggy Olsen, will rise above the toxic culture.
Tiki Bar obsessed Joe receives emotional support from his bevy of male friends. Their friendship is purer than Ana’s relationship with Adrienne. Even his most casual friend, a dude who explores abandoned buildings with him, takes the time to have a discussion about existentialism. In one of my favorite scenes, Joe and his buddies debate the pros of having children from a need for perceived immortality to living vicariously through the kids to having someone to take care of them in old age. All of Joe’s friends have his back, while Ana’s friend seems ready to stab hers.
Ana’s lack of female friends other than Adrienne made me feel sorry for her. Joe’s constant lamenting about his low salary and his need for Ana to basically support him became a bit grating, especially seeing her struggle in a toxic workplace. The book is beautifully written and the dialogue especially sings. The story is told in a dual point of view (Ana and Joe) and is broken up into five sections. Each chapter has a fun title. THE NARCISSISM OF SMALL DIFFERENCES is a good literary read with plenty of quotable moments.
December 20, 2023
I can't lie -- when I started this book, I thought I was going to rate it a 1/5. Zadoorian's writing (or, fine, the narrator's voice) felt arrogant to me -- not the kind of arrogance that is a conscious "My ideas are correct because they are mine" but the more latent refusal to critically engage with other ideas, particularly ones that are antithetical to one's own. Then I kept reading and got off my own arrogant high-horse, finding that no, this book isn't unbearable. Except for anything involving Chick. God, I hated that character. Making nasty, insensitive (read: cruel) jokes/comments all while making it evident in his every action that he loves to smell his own farts. Maybe Zandoorian is poking fun at himself.
The book was incredibly well-paced, never feeling like it dragged out. The prose, once I got over my initial distaste, was fun and at times quite funny. The constant pop-culture or underground-culture references that appeared on nearly every page became stale early on, with me eventually just glazing over it (especially since some of it was esoteric -- I know you feel cool for name dropping but it isn't going to add anything to the story for the vast majority of your readers!). The conflict between Joe and Ana felt real and intimate, probably because both Joe and Ana felt like real people who were very well characterized. The whole "being weird" theme/conflict didn't mesh very well with their relationship falling apart and then coming back together. It felt like two separate stories involving the same characters instead of weaving naturally together. I felt this especially with Ana -- her infidelity and hatred of her job had nothing to do with figuring out what being weird/normal is, unless Zandoorian thinks that is being weird. That's where my issue with the whole arrogance thing comes from -- what "weird" is in the novel is surface level, only involving your hobbies/interests instead of esoteric ideologies and philosophies (which is apparent as someone who has esoteric ideologies and philosophies).
Also, why did we need a white character try to reclaim the n-word? It's mentioned once then never touched on again. If you want to make a commentary on white people's obsession with the n-word, then do so, but that's not what happened. That's a reoccurring issue in the book: mentioning something then never giving it the depth to mean anything.
The book was incredibly well-paced, never feeling like it dragged out. The prose, once I got over my initial distaste, was fun and at times quite funny. The constant pop-culture or underground-culture references that appeared on nearly every page became stale early on, with me eventually just glazing over it (especially since some of it was esoteric -- I know you feel cool for name dropping but it isn't going to add anything to the story for the vast majority of your readers!). The conflict between Joe and Ana felt real and intimate, probably because both Joe and Ana felt like real people who were very well characterized. The whole "being weird" theme/conflict didn't mesh very well with their relationship falling apart and then coming back together. It felt like two separate stories involving the same characters instead of weaving naturally together. I felt this especially with Ana -- her infidelity and hatred of her job had nothing to do with figuring out what being weird/normal is, unless Zandoorian thinks that is being weird. That's where my issue with the whole arrogance thing comes from -- what "weird" is in the novel is surface level, only involving your hobbies/interests instead of esoteric ideologies and philosophies (which is apparent as someone who has esoteric ideologies and philosophies).
Also, why did we need a white character try to reclaim the n-word? It's mentioned once then never touched on again. If you want to make a commentary on white people's obsession with the n-word, then do so, but that's not what happened. That's a reoccurring issue in the book: mentioning something then never giving it the depth to mean anything.
April 8, 2020
THE NARCISSISM OF SMALL DIFFERENCES by Michael Zadoorian.
I received this ARC (Advance Reading Copy) from Akashic Books.
Mr. Zadoorian writes about “relationships and midlife, about the costs of irony and complacency, and about how change comes for all of us: whether we are ready for it or not.”
The story is set in 2009 Detroit and we follow Ana Urbanek and Joe Keen in their ongoing quest for what? To be normal? Be weird? Relationship (of 15 years +) or marriage? Kids or no kids? Are they really 40? Are they cool? Hip? Should they hate their jobs? Where is the money?
THE NARCISSISM OF SMALL DIFFERENCES is a “comedy of manners” and a “comedy of compromise”.
The writing flows with angst at every turn; fascinating descriptions of Detroit and its environs; architectural dinosaurs and decayed buildings; insights on the writing process (Joe) and the perils of advertising (Ana); brand names and pretentiousness on every page and a lot of self-flagellation.
It all ties together on pp. 295-296 when Joe’s friend Malcolm reveals (in all honesty) the truth about Joe. (This was my favorite few paragraphs. )
Other favorite words of wisdom:
The law of random sync (p. 20)
“Truth like light, blinds. Falsehood, on the contrary, is a beautiful twilight that enhances every object.” (p.137)
Advertising in a nutshell: “Unintentional incompetence resulting in accidental success.” (p. 161)
“Adrienne always said that alcohol doesn’t change people; it makes them more like themselves.” (p. 221)
A very good read. The characters developed and grew on me - we parted as friends at the end.
I received this ARC (Advance Reading Copy) from Akashic Books.
Mr. Zadoorian writes about “relationships and midlife, about the costs of irony and complacency, and about how change comes for all of us: whether we are ready for it or not.”
The story is set in 2009 Detroit and we follow Ana Urbanek and Joe Keen in their ongoing quest for what? To be normal? Be weird? Relationship (of 15 years +) or marriage? Kids or no kids? Are they really 40? Are they cool? Hip? Should they hate their jobs? Where is the money?
THE NARCISSISM OF SMALL DIFFERENCES is a “comedy of manners” and a “comedy of compromise”.
The writing flows with angst at every turn; fascinating descriptions of Detroit and its environs; architectural dinosaurs and decayed buildings; insights on the writing process (Joe) and the perils of advertising (Ana); brand names and pretentiousness on every page and a lot of self-flagellation.
It all ties together on pp. 295-296 when Joe’s friend Malcolm reveals (in all honesty) the truth about Joe. (This was my favorite few paragraphs. )
Other favorite words of wisdom:
The law of random sync (p. 20)
“Truth like light, blinds. Falsehood, on the contrary, is a beautiful twilight that enhances every object.” (p.137)
Advertising in a nutshell: “Unintentional incompetence resulting in accidental success.” (p. 161)
“Adrienne always said that alcohol doesn’t change people; it makes them more like themselves.” (p. 221)
A very good read. The characters developed and grew on me - we parted as friends at the end.
September 21, 2020
The Narcissism of Small Differences by Michael Zadoorian
Good insights into the coming of age (finally) of this couple of 40-year-olds, with vivid descriptions of the books’ settings – at home, at work, in clubs, and around Detroit.
But I found the dialog to be a little too screechy, preachy, and unrealistic. For instance, the many occasions where a character quotes authors and philosophers in what was supposed to be conversation: People may think this, but to have the dialog include these “learned” thoughts seemed show-offy, and it didn’t ring true.
Good quotes (mostly as their thoughts, only one in dialog):
-- Should you have outgrown it by then (ironic distance from the “cool things of your youth” in your mid-40s)? How long before you needed an irony supplement?
-- He thought of a book from the ‘50s he had reviewed called “The Dud Avocado” where the main character, a woman living in Paris, refers to a group of expatriate non-conformists as, “So violently individualistic as to be practically interchangeable.”
-- Unintentional incompetence resulting in accidental success – if that wasn’t advertising in a nutshell, Ana didn’t know what was.
-- “You’re in the market for trouble, Missy. You’re in the big mistake lot kicking tires.”
-- When is it going to end, this worshiping of ephemera? How long will our generation be obsessed with the past, with stuff that barely meant anything when it happened, that’s remembered only because it’s old or bad or weird or kooky?
Good insights into the coming of age (finally) of this couple of 40-year-olds, with vivid descriptions of the books’ settings – at home, at work, in clubs, and around Detroit.
But I found the dialog to be a little too screechy, preachy, and unrealistic. For instance, the many occasions where a character quotes authors and philosophers in what was supposed to be conversation: People may think this, but to have the dialog include these “learned” thoughts seemed show-offy, and it didn’t ring true.
Good quotes (mostly as their thoughts, only one in dialog):
-- Should you have outgrown it by then (ironic distance from the “cool things of your youth” in your mid-40s)? How long before you needed an irony supplement?
-- He thought of a book from the ‘50s he had reviewed called “The Dud Avocado” where the main character, a woman living in Paris, refers to a group of expatriate non-conformists as, “So violently individualistic as to be practically interchangeable.”
-- Unintentional incompetence resulting in accidental success – if that wasn’t advertising in a nutshell, Ana didn’t know what was.
-- “You’re in the market for trouble, Missy. You’re in the big mistake lot kicking tires.”
-- When is it going to end, this worshiping of ephemera? How long will our generation be obsessed with the past, with stuff that barely meant anything when it happened, that’s remembered only because it’s old or bad or weird or kooky?
October 17, 2021
Ever have a writer whose books you snatch up on the release date but don’t read for a while because once you do, you no longer have any more of that writer’s material to read? I have two of those writers, and Michael Zadoorian is one of them. So, I finish this book with sadness despite how much I loved it.
Zadoorian’s wit, charm and and compassion were on full display in his latest book which was actually written more than a decade ago. He develops characters so well they feel like your own friends. Take
Joe Keen who has an infectious sense of wonder at all that surrounds his life, be it for an ale or an old building. Joe is also quite bored with the challenges he faces as a writer and a significant other. Take Ana, who seems to be the stable one in the Ana/Joe pairing, until she just burns right out and stops being able to recognize herself. It’s in their conflict where the ordinariness of life creates both hope and despair.
It feels familiar, because it is. As Ana asks Joe in the beginning of the book, “Are we weird?” The answer is yes. Because we’re all weird in our own way, oftentimes wonderfully weird, even when we’re insufferable, ordinary and boring. That’s just the reality of life, and the more I’ve read Zadoorian over the years, I realize he’s not only a master at bringing both the comedy and tediousness of life to a head, he does it with sincerity.
Those who love character-driven stories about regular types of people will find much to like in The Narcissism of Small Differences. Now I wait (even though I cannot wait) for Zadoorian’s next novel.
Zadoorian’s wit, charm and and compassion were on full display in his latest book which was actually written more than a decade ago. He develops characters so well they feel like your own friends. Take
Joe Keen who has an infectious sense of wonder at all that surrounds his life, be it for an ale or an old building. Joe is also quite bored with the challenges he faces as a writer and a significant other. Take Ana, who seems to be the stable one in the Ana/Joe pairing, until she just burns right out and stops being able to recognize herself. It’s in their conflict where the ordinariness of life creates both hope and despair.
It feels familiar, because it is. As Ana asks Joe in the beginning of the book, “Are we weird?” The answer is yes. Because we’re all weird in our own way, oftentimes wonderfully weird, even when we’re insufferable, ordinary and boring. That’s just the reality of life, and the more I’ve read Zadoorian over the years, I realize he’s not only a master at bringing both the comedy and tediousness of life to a head, he does it with sincerity.
Those who love character-driven stories about regular types of people will find much to like in The Narcissism of Small Differences. Now I wait (even though I cannot wait) for Zadoorian’s next novel.
September 3, 2020
“The Narcissism of Small Differences”, by Michael Zadoorian, was a huge disappointment. It’s the story of Joe and Ana, who have been living together for 15 years. Both are just hitting their 40s and reflecting on their careers and their relationship. I don’t have to like characters to enjoy a story, and neither Joe nor Ana are particularly likeable, which is fine, but they aren’t particularly nuanced either, which does make the angst-y naval-gazing less compelling.
Half-way through the story Ana (an advertising executive) is given as a new client, a woman’s fitness center that identifies as having “Christian values”, and Ana balks; Zadoorian then drags up all the grotesquely one-sided, stereotypical, anti-Christian tropes to broadly slam Christians; you’d think they were Zombies they are painted with so much vitriol! Ana calls then “horrible people” over and over again.
It was so utterly one-sided that I continued to read assuming that at some point nuances would appear so that the main characters could adjust their extreme and biased opinions.
But no! Ana and her partner Adrienne treat these clients with utter disdain (not even deigning to learn names, they just call one of them “Capri Pants”), and when the clients notice and justifiably complain, Ana and Adrienne, now almost ludicrous caricatures of Mean Girls, simply hate them even more. And this is all presented as a justifiable way to behave FOR AN ADVERTISING AGENCY!
Ugh. No.
Half-way through the story Ana (an advertising executive) is given as a new client, a woman’s fitness center that identifies as having “Christian values”, and Ana balks; Zadoorian then drags up all the grotesquely one-sided, stereotypical, anti-Christian tropes to broadly slam Christians; you’d think they were Zombies they are painted with so much vitriol! Ana calls then “horrible people” over and over again.
It was so utterly one-sided that I continued to read assuming that at some point nuances would appear so that the main characters could adjust their extreme and biased opinions.
But no! Ana and her partner Adrienne treat these clients with utter disdain (not even deigning to learn names, they just call one of them “Capri Pants”), and when the clients notice and justifiably complain, Ana and Adrienne, now almost ludicrous caricatures of Mean Girls, simply hate them even more. And this is all presented as a justifiable way to behave FOR AN ADVERTISING AGENCY!
Ugh. No.
May 22, 2020
There aren’t many authors that make me want to read everything they write, but Michael Zadoorian is one. The Leisure Seeker and Beautiful Music are favorites. Both of those books made me laugh out loud, and also cry. There’s a lot of feeling there, and that’s what I like so much about Zadoorian.
The Narcissism of Small Differences, like his others, is set in Detroit. This time it’s 2009, and we meet Joe Keen and Ana Urbanek, a long time couple, not married, not content, not happy in their chosen careers, not sure what to do, or what they want. They’re nearing forty; it’s pretty much a midlife crisis for both of them, and it’s taking place in a depressed job market in a town that’s best days are long gone. Joe and Ana are uncomfortable questioning the validity of their choices. They seem befuddled; they aren’t the hip cutting edge folks they once were, and they aren’t where they expected to be at this stage of their lives. Zadoorian deftly depicts this with wit and humor.
You could almost count Detroit is a character is this story, and I liked that. As a long time near-Detroiter, I appreciated the references to so many -places I know.
I didn’t cry this time, but I did some laughing. And the chapter titles are good too!
I received a Kindle book from the publisher through Goodreads. Thank you.
The Narcissism of Small Differences, like his others, is set in Detroit. This time it’s 2009, and we meet Joe Keen and Ana Urbanek, a long time couple, not married, not content, not happy in their chosen careers, not sure what to do, or what they want. They’re nearing forty; it’s pretty much a midlife crisis for both of them, and it’s taking place in a depressed job market in a town that’s best days are long gone. Joe and Ana are uncomfortable questioning the validity of their choices. They seem befuddled; they aren’t the hip cutting edge folks they once were, and they aren’t where they expected to be at this stage of their lives. Zadoorian deftly depicts this with wit and humor.
You could almost count Detroit is a character is this story, and I liked that. As a long time near-Detroiter, I appreciated the references to so many -places I know.
I didn’t cry this time, but I did some laughing. And the chapter titles are good too!
I received a Kindle book from the publisher through Goodreads. Thank you.
May 19, 2020
This was a Goodreads giveaway. I keep going back and forth on this one. On the one hand it is a well written book that has been professionally edited and published, as well as being the first book I’ve ever run across that takes place in Ferndale of all places. On the other hand, as another reviewer states - I think you need to relate to the characters in order to enjoy the book, and I just didn’t. The main characters are two aging hipsters, about whom I spent most of my time shaking my head in disbelief, wanting to smack, or wishing they would grow up already. I was ultimately disappointed. After 15 years, our hipsters finally took one step forward (I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal), and a couple of giant steps backwards. I fully expect in 20 years you’ll find them working as greeters at Meijer and waiting at the mailbox for their social security checks. I’d pass unless you’re up for a lot of angst and navel gazing.
January 4, 2022
First things first. Never have I ever read the Acknowledgements in a book and known someone mentioned - that was fun!
I love books set in Detroit so I was excited to read this. I think my brain was not in the right space to fully appreciate this book so I'll be sure to add it to my read again list.
Joe and Ana live together in the suburbs of Detroit and are not married, rent their houses and Joe surfs along life with freelance jobs. They are approaching 40 and this book takes us through the journey of inevitable reassessment we all do when a milestone birthday is coming up (or recently passed). Ana's ad agency job gets to be too much on many levels, Joe finally wants to have a "real" job so takes one that sucks.
The reader gets to share in the journey of them approaching adulting and finding out what is important to them.
I love books set in Detroit so I was excited to read this. I think my brain was not in the right space to fully appreciate this book so I'll be sure to add it to my read again list.
Joe and Ana live together in the suburbs of Detroit and are not married, rent their houses and Joe surfs along life with freelance jobs. They are approaching 40 and this book takes us through the journey of inevitable reassessment we all do when a milestone birthday is coming up (or recently passed). Ana's ad agency job gets to be too much on many levels, Joe finally wants to have a "real" job so takes one that sucks.
The reader gets to share in the journey of them approaching adulting and finding out what is important to them.
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