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99 Poems to Cure Whatever's Wrong With You or Create The Problems You Need
you have just been killed by a thousand tiny cuts. 99 to be exact. bleeding out to the backdrop of this new cartoon. a woodchuck in a tiny witch hat laughs at you, as you lay down, hands over your chest and think, 'perfect.' and a red light atop a powerline blinks in the distance to remind that there is no end, only one long try, deflate at your own pace. don't fight the freefall. 99 poems to cure whatever's wrong with you or create the problems you need. and yes, you need. im your fucking dad, honey. admit it, or we'll never get out of this alive.
120 pages, Paperback
First published July 9, 2019
29 people are currently reading
727 people want to read
About the author
Sam Pink
60 books812 followersSam Pink is the author of The No Hellos Diet, Hurt Others, I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It, Frowns Need Friends Too, and the cult hit Person. His writing has been published widely in print and on the internet, and also in other languages. He lives in Chicago, where he plays in the band Depressed Woman.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 77 reviews
November 30, 2020
This book of poems was just so damn good. I don't read a lot of poetry but this book was just awesome. Also it's my first time reading San Pink and I will definitely be reading more. These poems are just full of honesty humor and a realness that I think I needed. In some ways This guy reminds me of the comedian Mitch Hedberg and that's a good thing. This book made me laugh out loud multiple times because some of the things he writes about I've thought similarly on. If definitely recommend this book to anyone that needs a laugh and a pick me up cuz it was really that good.
July 17, 2019
Read this book on a patio in 114 degrees Fahrenheit weather in Palm Desert. I accidentally squashed a bug onto the poem "The Ghost." The guts of the dead desert heat will live in "99 Poems to Cure Whatever's Wrong with You or Create the Problems You Need" forever.
March 9, 2019
Sam Pink is a blackjack dealer that never stops hitting you with 21s. Give him 21 words and he’ll make you a millionaire (spiritually). Give him 21 t-shirt guns and he’ll salute you and give you an XXL hell yeah! Give him 21 years and he’ll get you drunk for your birthday. He is one of maybe two or three writers that makes me laugh for real. I could name some poems that made me laugh (Little Baby) but I’d only end up listing the Table of Contents. It’s not all laughs I guess, there are some moments of brilliant insight, terror, sorrow, anger, love and absurdity. Pink is the color of washed-out blood and dead roses. Of cotton candy fairground dreams and cotton balls full of broken baby teeth. He knows the secret that life is always horrifying and so so funny. We don’t have much time and he wants you to have fun! The Gentleman Psycho aka Chef BoyOBoy aka The Yung Master delivers a pizza topped with delicious poems. Eat.
June 26, 2022
Some poems make me laugh, some made me smile, some made me relate to them and others I couldn't understand. All in all, it was like most of my experience with poetry, something alright at the time that I probably won't remember in a few hours.
June 25, 2021
★ ★ ★ 1/2 (rounded up)
A slightly expanded version of this originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
---
A little housekeeping to start: That title is just too long to keep using, you know? I thought about using 99PtCWWwYoCTPYN, but that's almost as bad—actually, it's probably worse aesthetically speaking. So, I'm going to go with 99 Poems.
WHY DID I WANT TO READ 99 POEMS...?
I've mentioned around here before that I'm not much of a poetry reader. In fact, I think I've only posted about one other poetry collection. I think this the fourth poetry collection I've read since I graduated from college in the mid-90s.
So what possessed me to pick this up? Well, despite what it may look like around here (and certainly how it feels sometimes), I do want to keep trying new/less familiar things. What got this to my attention was that someone on my Twitter feed posted a picture of one of the poems from this book a couple of months ago—I believe it was "The Woodchuck"—it made me smile, and it seemed like a good idea to try some more.
Which is how I got here. Trying to figure out how to talk about poems.
COMIC POEMS
Like the poem that got my attention, many of these poems fall under the heading of "comic." They all won't make you laugh—but you'll probably grin a bit. The construction is similar to a joke, but I think it's a disservice, even for the comic poems to treat them as simply that.
THE NON-COMIC POEMS
Then there are the poems on the other end of the spectrum, moving, poignant—even uplifting.
I think most readers will find themselves in some/many of these. Which is both comforting and unnerving.
APPROACHABLE
None of these are difficult to read (some may be challenging to chew on)—a few are two or three lines, a few are about 2 pages long. Most are 6-ish lines long.
Really, I've read tweets that contain as many characters as some of these poems. I guess I'm saying, there's no reason for non-poetry readers like me to feel intimidated by these.
SO, WHAT DID I THINK ABOUT 99 POEMS...?
How do you not like something with that title? That's practically an instant 3-Stars right there.
But more than that, I liked this collection. Reading a couple of these is a good break from everything else going on in the world around you. A simple way to look at things in a different way. I'm likely to keep an eye out for more by Pink, and I think you should, too.
A slightly expanded version of this originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
---
A little housekeeping to start: That title is just too long to keep using, you know? I thought about using 99PtCWWwYoCTPYN, but that's almost as bad—actually, it's probably worse aesthetically speaking. So, I'm going to go with 99 Poems.
WHY DID I WANT TO READ 99 POEMS...?
I've mentioned around here before that I'm not much of a poetry reader. In fact, I think I've only posted about one other poetry collection. I think this the fourth poetry collection I've read since I graduated from college in the mid-90s.
So what possessed me to pick this up? Well, despite what it may look like around here (and certainly how it feels sometimes), I do want to keep trying new/less familiar things. What got this to my attention was that someone on my Twitter feed posted a picture of one of the poems from this book a couple of months ago—I believe it was "The Woodchuck"—it made me smile, and it seemed like a good idea to try some more.
Which is how I got here. Trying to figure out how to talk about poems.
COMIC POEMS
Like the poem that got my attention, many of these poems fall under the heading of "comic." They all won't make you laugh—but you'll probably grin a bit. The construction is similar to a joke, but I think it's a disservice, even for the comic poems to treat them as simply that.
THE NON-COMIC POEMS
Then there are the poems on the other end of the spectrum, moving, poignant—even uplifting.
I think most readers will find themselves in some/many of these. Which is both comforting and unnerving.
APPROACHABLE
None of these are difficult to read (some may be challenging to chew on)—a few are two or three lines, a few are about 2 pages long. Most are 6-ish lines long.
Really, I've read tweets that contain as many characters as some of these poems. I guess I'm saying, there's no reason for non-poetry readers like me to feel intimidated by these.
SO, WHAT DID I THINK ABOUT 99 POEMS...?
How do you not like something with that title? That's practically an instant 3-Stars right there.
But more than that, I liked this collection. Reading a couple of these is a good break from everything else going on in the world around you. A simple way to look at things in a different way. I'm likely to keep an eye out for more by Pink, and I think you should, too.
April 7, 2022
Reading Sam Pink's
99 poems to cure whatever's wrong with you or create the problems you need.
is much like reading Instapoetry, but with actual substance... which is like lighting a bonfire on exactly what current poetry could be.
Short, succinct but imaginative thoughts; incredible, twisted humour; poignancy, and relishing in the mundane parts of modern existence are all deftly handled in this collection of poetry. At times you relate, at times you commiserate, at times you are lifted by the words without being dragged through clichés, or force-fed platitudes.
A truly unique voice, and a fun little read that surreptitiously will make you think. Bravo!
⭐⭐⭐
(Terrible cover art though.)
Short, succinct but imaginative thoughts; incredible, twisted humour; poignancy, and relishing in the mundane parts of modern existence are all deftly handled in this collection of poetry. At times you relate, at times you commiserate, at times you are lifted by the words without being dragged through clichés, or force-fed platitudes.
A truly unique voice, and a fun little read that surreptitiously will make you think. Bravo!
⭐⭐⭐
(Terrible cover art though.)
March 27, 2024
I decided going in that
I would draw a little doodle on each page
(I am not a skilled artist)
It was fun
and now I get to remember what I was thinking at the end of each poem
Even if it was nothing
(Especially if it was nothing)
The cartoon continues.
I would draw a little doodle on each page
(I am not a skilled artist)
It was fun
and now I get to remember what I was thinking at the end of each poem
Even if it was nothing
(Especially if it was nothing)
The cartoon continues.
October 26, 2019
I liked it.
March 27, 2022
An interesting collection of whacked-out epigrams, some quite amusing. But a trifle in comparison with Pink's Your Glass Head against the Brick Parade of Now Whats , which is complex, intricate, and remarkably inventive poetry. As always, Pink's outlook is grim and sardonic, but Glass Head is searing while this collection only offers a few mild jolts. A let-down!
June 8, 2019
Sam Pink a genre onto himself. Yet another great book.
March 10, 2023
4.5 🌟
I had a huge smile on my face throughout the reading of the book. Sometimes because it was relatable, and sometimes because it spoke things I was unable to articulate. Very simple poems but worth every second. 10/10 would recommend.
I had a huge smile on my face throughout the reading of the book. Sometimes because it was relatable, and sometimes because it spoke things I was unable to articulate. Very simple poems but worth every second. 10/10 would recommend.
August 13, 2019
The insights of a genuinely glad monk who will fall off his bike at the intersection to provide a laugh for those trying to escape a burning building when they are the burning building. A great-hearted man who watches your beef on the carbecue east of East Jesus. A dizzy slalomer of fireflies in the unfolding goodbyeless dark
June 9, 2019
These poems create marvelous little weird moments. The voice is unique. Love reading them. Could keep at it all day.
July 2, 2019
It's sort of like a less try-hard Dean Young, pithier and with more memorable imagery.
July 8, 2019
if you see this book, shoot it.
August 23, 2019
Sam Pink really is the artist of our generation.
April 6, 2020
Some of these were pretty good, a kind of Bukowski-like wisdom. Others, not so much.
January 21, 2022
some of the poems were like: ughh why did you write this. This is awful. and some of the poems were like: this is a masterpiece omgggggg
December 24, 2023
Short. Fun. Ridiculous. Some profound, some you wish you didn’t find.
May 11, 2023
Sam Pink's 4-line poem "PIECE A SHIT," one of the works featured in 99 POEMS TO CURE..., once went viral on Twitter. I saw the tweet, adored the poem, couldn’t get it out of my head, and months later ordered his book. My past self absolutely made the right choice.
The works in 99 POEMS TO CURE... are all short, with no poem longer than 15 lines, but for all their brevity and the simplicity of their subject matter--annoyance at a backyard woodchuck, ambivalence about turning 35, a child stomping on ants--each one flares like a struck match, illuminating an often hidden (denied?) universal truth about being human.
Pink has a gift for consistently framing the mundane in such a way that it shows us the profound. The poem "SILENCE" empathizes with our struggle in articulating the release we can find in a lack of action ("Sometimes / it's just like / silence / man / it’s so good."), and the poem "AFTERLIFE" ("Afterlife of mowing an endless sunny lawn / out front of someone's house / doors locked in ways you could never imagine.") warns the reader to keep in mind that scenarios in which we expect all the answers may still never provide us with even the first clue. The emotional range within each poem is small, as befits their size, but when taken together the collection as a whole has a wide dynamic range of feeling: silly, sad, bitter, chilling, spooky, absurdist, sheepish, frightening, melancholy, nihilistic, funny, and on and on.
There's an undercurrent of anxiety about mortality that runs through the collection, with many poems dealing about the inevitability of death, along with a reoccurring and complementary refrain about life continuing on no matter what (which Pink chooses to say as, "The cartoon continues." as an end to some of the poems, with the word choice of the refrain itself serving as a commentary on existence).
The refrain was the one thing I actively disliked in the collection at first, but by the end I came around. There are also a handful or so of poems that I didn't care for, but because they are so few, each poem is so short, and the emotional range of the lot of them is already so varied, the collection still worked beautifully for me as a whole.
Savor this volume. Then read some of it to someone else, loan your copy out, or buy another one for someone as a gift. These poems are worth spreading.
The works in 99 POEMS TO CURE... are all short, with no poem longer than 15 lines, but for all their brevity and the simplicity of their subject matter--annoyance at a backyard woodchuck, ambivalence about turning 35, a child stomping on ants--each one flares like a struck match, illuminating an often hidden (denied?) universal truth about being human.
Pink has a gift for consistently framing the mundane in such a way that it shows us the profound. The poem "SILENCE" empathizes with our struggle in articulating the release we can find in a lack of action ("Sometimes / it's just like / silence / man / it’s so good."), and the poem "AFTERLIFE" ("Afterlife of mowing an endless sunny lawn / out front of someone's house / doors locked in ways you could never imagine.") warns the reader to keep in mind that scenarios in which we expect all the answers may still never provide us with even the first clue. The emotional range within each poem is small, as befits their size, but when taken together the collection as a whole has a wide dynamic range of feeling: silly, sad, bitter, chilling, spooky, absurdist, sheepish, frightening, melancholy, nihilistic, funny, and on and on.
There's an undercurrent of anxiety about mortality that runs through the collection, with many poems dealing about the inevitability of death, along with a reoccurring and complementary refrain about life continuing on no matter what (which Pink chooses to say as, "The cartoon continues." as an end to some of the poems, with the word choice of the refrain itself serving as a commentary on existence).
The refrain was the one thing I actively disliked in the collection at first, but by the end I came around. There are also a handful or so of poems that I didn't care for, but because they are so few, each poem is so short, and the emotional range of the lot of them is already so varied, the collection still worked beautifully for me as a whole.
Savor this volume. Then read some of it to someone else, loan your copy out, or buy another one for someone as a gift. These poems are worth spreading.
August 9, 2024
Words that popped in my head to describe the themes of this sadly hilarious collection of haiku-like poems:
Transient beauty
Absurdity (transient, too)
Loneliness and aloneness
Connection
Observations from a distance
Mortality
Surreality
Also, since they are so short, here are three of my favorites:
TANGLED CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
Something I focus on a lot
is totally relaxing my face.
Because
there's a tangled & malfunctioning
strand of Christmas lights
behind each eye
& a closed fist
behind my forehead
& sparks
between my teeth.
Things
where they could be
no things.
YESTERDAY'S BULLSHIT
DIES TODAY
Watching a breeze
move through some grass
I imagined it was just
the grass
shaking off yesterday's bullshit
to prepare for today.
To prepare for
more bullshit.
TOP DOG
I felt fleeting
but not insignificant joy
at a pizza place
while witnessing
what appeared to be
‘merely a whiff’
of another universe
as a couple pizza-makers
took turns
saying,
‘Later, Top Dog’
to a delivery driver
who was done for the night.
Transient beauty
Absurdity (transient, too)
Loneliness and aloneness
Connection
Observations from a distance
Mortality
Surreality
Also, since they are so short, here are three of my favorites:
TANGLED CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
Something I focus on a lot
is totally relaxing my face.
Because
there's a tangled & malfunctioning
strand of Christmas lights
behind each eye
& a closed fist
behind my forehead
& sparks
between my teeth.
Things
where they could be
no things.
YESTERDAY'S BULLSHIT
DIES TODAY
Watching a breeze
move through some grass
I imagined it was just
the grass
shaking off yesterday's bullshit
to prepare for today.
To prepare for
more bullshit.
TOP DOG
I felt fleeting
but not insignificant joy
at a pizza place
while witnessing
what appeared to be
‘merely a whiff’
of another universe
as a couple pizza-makers
took turns
saying,
‘Later, Top Dog’
to a delivery driver
who was done for the night.
December 6, 2024
Holy cow!
First, heads up, you can't find this book anywhere. However, all the poems were republished with additional work in 99 Poems /Cops of Life.
Now, where was I? Oh yeah: holy cow!
Sam Pink's poems are like eating your favorite food. Satisfying. Satiating. Complex. Familiar. Joyful.
His Woodchuck poem has become my default for checking humor compatibility with new friends.
This isn't a book of jokes. It's great poetry. And I'm a firm believer a great book of poetry should cover the full spectrum of life. Joy, pain, insecurity, desire, confusion...
Pink crushes this.
Buy this book. If you don't like it, I'll buy it off you.
First, heads up, you can't find this book anywhere. However, all the poems were republished with additional work in 99 Poems /Cops of Life.
Now, where was I? Oh yeah: holy cow!
Sam Pink's poems are like eating your favorite food. Satisfying. Satiating. Complex. Familiar. Joyful.
His Woodchuck poem has become my default for checking humor compatibility with new friends.
This isn't a book of jokes. It's great poetry. And I'm a firm believer a great book of poetry should cover the full spectrum of life. Joy, pain, insecurity, desire, confusion...
Pink crushes this.
Buy this book. If you don't like it, I'll buy it off you.
April 7, 2020
I don’t know how anyone can not love this guy. His voice is present throughout and by the end of this book i felt like me and him just had the best coffee shop chat of our lives. Seriously Sam Pink is refreshing and i would recommend this book to anybody, i read it all the way through some time last week and flipped through it again later that evening. I feel bad for the families walking by seeing some guy belly laughing at a book with an astronaut on it, but i made sure to thank that park bench for its service and hospitality
March 5, 2022
99 Poems is a collection of poetry from Sam Pink, my favorite contemporary author. While I may be biased to some extent, these pieces are a constant reassurance that when I'm feeling depressed things will get better, and when I'm feeling good to remind me of those places creeping under the fleeting joy. Hell, I was coming off of mushrooms at a campsite one time and this book was the only thing keeping me from a complete mental collapse. That and a handle of whiskey. Regardless, this collection is worth your time, you may even find a page that strikes you to your core. Get humbled.
November 24, 2020
This is the first of Sam Pink’s writing that I’ve read, and I feel like I picked a good place to start.
These poems are full of sentiments that feel relatable, while still being surprising and hilarious to read because of their frankness.
A lot of the poems are sad or have bleak implications, but there’s only one end for all of us, isn’t there?
I’ve ordered a couple of Pink’s novels to read after finishing these poems. Excited to read Person and The No Hellos Diet next.
These poems are full of sentiments that feel relatable, while still being surprising and hilarious to read because of their frankness.
A lot of the poems are sad or have bleak implications, but there’s only one end for all of us, isn’t there?
I’ve ordered a couple of Pink’s novels to read after finishing these poems. Excited to read Person and The No Hellos Diet next.
July 1, 2024
`So, I found my epitaph in this book. The poem titled Hoo Boy : Trying to escape a burning building, when you are the burning building. Yes, that's it, and yet it sums me up so well. I connected viscerally with so many of these poems, even the silly ones. Especially the silly ones. Sometimes we're all just a woodchuck in an ill fitting hat, and that's okay.
June 25, 2021
Some people's minds work in wonderful ways, same goes for Sam Pink. Deep meaningful poems are followed by everyday inconveniences, yet he manages to keep the reader on their toes. Would definitely recommend it.
[the cartoon continues]
[the cartoon continues]
December 14, 2022
Has one of my favorite poems of all time (frogs!)! I like his style - happy simplicity, and funny! Good mood poems for anger or happiness. The collection was a fast read, but I intend to come back to it again later.
December 7, 2023
This read like someone deliriously writing in their journal at 3 AM, not sleeping because they had a sudden thought or a nagging nostalgic memory and needed to write it down. It’s me, I write entries like this. I should not be allowed to write poems.
August 14, 2024
Growing up on poetry and being a young poet once in my life- I’d throw my poetry away, set it on fire, have a ritual for more books like this. I want this guy to write a thousand books. A true sensation.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 77 reviews