Rogues in the House

The Dark Storm Conan Chronology #8

by Robert E. Howard

Howard's most famous character, Conan the Cimmerian, was a barbarian-turned-King during the Hyborian Age, a mythical period of some 12,000 years ago. Conan featured in seventeen Weird Tales stories between 1933 and 1936 which is why Howard is now regarded as having spawned the 'sword and sorcery' genre. The Conan stories have since been adapted many times, most famously in the series of films starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. 'Rogues in the House' is a story in the Conan series where he becomes embroiled in a battle between two men who are attempting to rule over a city.

Genres: Fantasy, Short Stories, Sword and Sorcery, Adventure, Fiction, Pulp, Classics

48 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1934

About the author

Robert Ervin Howard was an American pulp writer of fantasy, horror, historical adventure, boxing, western, and detective fiction. Howard wrote "over three-hundred stories and seven-hundred poems of raw power and unbridled emotion" and is especially noted for his memorable depictions of "a sombre universe of swashbuckling adventure and darkling horror."

He is well known for having created—in the pages of the legendary Depression-era pulp magazine Weird Tales—the character Conan the Cimmerian, a.k.a. Conan the Barbarian, a literary icon whose pop-culture imprint can only be compared to such icons as Tarzan of the Apes, Count Dracula, Sherlock Holmes, and James Bond.

—Wikipedia

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Reviews

[✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) · Rating 4 out of 5]

My crappy non-review for The Coming of Conan the Cimmerian is imploding! I exhausted all my character allowance! So now I have to resort to crappily non-reviewing all the stories in the collection separately! Go me and stuff!

Note to self: thou shalt not comment on the pathetically crappy book cover. No thou shalt not.

Bloody shrimping hell, who the fish comes up with the crappy covers for these stories anyway?! But hey, at least this one is not as boringly deathly as Xuthal of the Dusk so I guess I can’t complain and stuff. Right.



Sooooo, my Cimmerian Paramour is most definitely in top form here: within the first five paragraphs, he cuts off a priest’s head, gets drunk as fish, disembowels the captain of the local guards, finds himself bewildered and half-blinded, brought to the local super welcoming dungeon, and finally shackled to the wall “with chains not even his barbaric thews could break” (which is saying something, methinks. Although the fact that his senses were ever- so-slightly clouded by liquor at the time probably didn’t work in his favour and stuff).

Anyway, while my Barbarian Sweetie Pie is so outrageously held captive by the lowly natives, a guy named Murilo pays him a, um, courtly visit, and promises to get him out of the super welcoming dungeon in exchange for the ruthless murder of a local villain a, um, courtly favour. (Murilo trusts that Conan’s wolfish instincts will help him succeed where many others “died in hideous and nameless ways” failed before, you see.) Conan says “hey sure no problem, anything to get out of this dump and stuff!” and Murilo goes on his merry way. Only that life sucks and nothing works as intended, so my boyfriend ends up having to escape the dump by his own barbarian means. (Namely a beef-bone that Conan was gnawing on, and kinda sorta used to brain his jailer slightly dead and stuff. Oops.)



Obviously.

Instead of getting the fish out of dodge, as any other Cimmerian in his not-so-right mind would have, my Barbarian Dumpling decides that, even though his pal Murilo has Pretty Pathetic Dungeon Break Skills (PPDBS™), he’s still a pretty cool guy who deserves to be helped assassination-wise. But first he’s got some personal business to attend to. It involves a kicking, half-naked, treacherous wench, just so you know. Who is slightly incoherent with terror, and keeps sobbing frantic pleas for mercy and stuff. Ha! That’ll teach her to betray my Sweetie Pie and stuff.



Man, would I love my Cimmerian Paramour to carry me around in such a gallant manner! The guy really knows how to show a girl the respect and consideration she deserves, if you ask me. (Given the look on her face, this chick here obviously fails to appreciate how lucky she is to be treated so chivalrously by my boyfriend. What a revoltingly ungrateful barnacle she is.)

Having most efficiently solved the Treacherous Lass Predicament (TLP™), Conan is finally off to give Murillo a savagely murderous helpful hand. Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Stuff (S⁴) ensues, obviously. Said S⁴ involves severed hears (yum), were-thingies, scented hair (don’t ask), monstrous conjectures, Conan snarling and grunting and growling like there is no tomorrow (which is super sexey and stuff), abhorrent beast-men with huge yellow fangs, vulture-hearted plunderers (yay), Cimmerians who shall not be named steal and murder openly, bestial insanity, hysterias of fright, clouds of doom, madness and horror, brutish glee, convulsive shudders, lethal stools, dripping blood, and unexpected missiles that have nothing to do with mine, unfortunately.

The end and stuff.

➽ Nefarious Last Words (NLW™): VICTORY!!!!There ain’t no Squeeze of the Moment in this story! Which means I finally did it! I managed to get rid of all the Stupidly Stupid Girly Competition (SSGC™)! Conan is MINE MINE MINE! Go me and stuff!

· Introduction to the world: The Hyborian Age ★★★★
· Main review: The Coming of Conan the Cimmerian ★★★★
· Book 2: The Bloody Crown of Conan ★★★★
· Book 3: The Conquering Sword of Conan ★★★★

[Louie the Mustache Matos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rogues in the House by Robert E. Howard is a Conan the Barbarian story, adventure, classic that starts with him chained up in a dungeon. Murilo is told by the Red Priest that he better leave, because he intends to tell the king of Murilo’s underhanded schemes. Instead of clearing out Murilo decides to free Conan with the voiced intent of having him kill the Red Priest. Things get complicated when it is discerned that the Red Priest’s pet gorilla (yes, he has a pet gorilla, don't we all?) has developed a mind of his own and will not continue to play ‘Pet’. Conan gets to demonstrate his incredible strength, and also his unexpected intelligence (unexpected because he usually prefers to muscle his way out of problems). This is another extremely well-written story with masterful verbiage (highfalutin words) and eloquence.

[Jamie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This generally felt uninspired, but was a quick, fun read nonetheless. Conan is hired to assassinate a powerful scheming priest, but while infiltrating his house is met with some ferocious resistance in the form of one of the priest's pets, a half man, half ape creature. Seemingly by coincidence, this ape man goes berserk and turns on his human master the very same night that Conan appears. Lots of violence and fighting ensues, including Conan's "braining" of a guard with a gnawed bone of beef. Of most interest were the descriptions of the paranoid priest's bizarrely labyrinthine house and the traps built in for his protection.

[Bentley ★ Bookbastion.net · Rating 4 out of 5]

The most simplistic of the Conan adventures I've read thus far. This one is clearly set earlier in Conan's timeline, as he's still only a Barbarian and not actually a King quite yet. This one is also uniquely told through the perspective of a nobleman that comes into contact with Conan while both are fighting to escape with their lives from the Red Priest's dungeon stronghold.

Howard sets aside the delivery of lore that peruses much of other stories he's penned in this universe to tell an action-packed story of survival and human evils in place of the greater cosmic horrors that are rife in other adventures. I've got to appreciate his the bad guys that Howard writes in these stories. They've all been equally brutal, dangerous and threatening.

Again, I really appreciate the beauty of much of the prose here. It's an unexpected bonus of the writing itself that I find myself unable to stop turning the pages. It's never stuffy or boring, but rather seeks to entertain from page one until the action-packed conclusion.

[Benji's Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another solid Conan story by Robert E. Howard

Recommended

[William · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful entertaining listening 🎶🔰

Another will written fantasy world 🌎 adventure thriller short story by Robert E. Howard about Conan once again involved in solving a problem with lots of twist and turns leading to the conclusion. As Robert E. Howard fan I would highly recommend this novella to anyone looking for a quick read. Enjoy the adventure of reading all kinds of different types of novels 👍🔰. 2022 👑😃🏠

I read this as part of Conan: The Barbarian complete collection 2017

[Baal Of · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was an above average Conan story, perhaps because it didn't have a scene of him facing up against a dozen enemies, and instead focused one single major battle against a particularly tough opponent. The body count was relatively low compared to the other stories I've read so far, but of course there was plenty of death, violence and gore. And the expected betrayal, which wasn't a surprise at all, and wasn't meant to be. There was one major red herring, which I appreciated.

Since I'm reading a book about poisons right now, I noticed that this story exhibited a common trope in fiction, one that has bothered me for a long time, and that is the depiction of poisons as fast-acting. When a group of men were trapped and dosed with grey lotus powder, "Instantly the scene changed from one of hysteria to one of madness and horror." Of course poisons tend to take time to work into the body, especially if delivered by contact or ingestion, and even fast poisons could take 15 minutes to an hour under these circumstances. (Direct injection into the blood stream is an obvious exception.) But, this is fantasy fiction, and it didn't ruin my enjoyment of the story.

[Antonis · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 / 5

Rogues in the House is another story in the Conan Universe. I will not repeat what I said in my previous reviews of Conan stories. This one follows a similar style with a few pleasant differences.
For one, this story features a lot less fighting. Conan takes a back-step and is hardly the main character of the story. Also, surprisingly, there is no female love interest in here, no overly sexual presence.
On the other hand, there's a bit more mystery and dialogue between the other 2 protagonists of the story. For those reasons, I would not call this a typical Conan story but a refreshing change of style, if only for a while.
I really enjoy that Robert E. Howard keeps surprising me with new elements in his Conan stories and I intend to continue reading his Conan omnibus!

4 / 5

[Jayakrishnan · Rating 3 out of 5]

A rather unremarkable story where Conan kind of plays sidekick to Murilo, a young aristocrat. Nabonidus, the Red Priest is trying to oust Murilo from the kingdom. So Murilo seeks Conan's help to get rid of Nabonidus. The guard who was supposed to set Conan (who is in jail) free, is arrested at the last moment so Murilo tries to kill Nabonidus himself. But Conan, who is a man of his word has killed the new jail guard and is at Nabonidus' abode and him and Murilo gang up to complete the mission. There is a violent sub-plot where Conan stops by the room of his old mistress who gave him away to throw her off the top of her building. Probably the worst Conan story that I have read so far.

[Thibault Busschots · Rating 3 out of 5]

Conan gets asked to kill the king’s priest. A rather simple and straight forward, yet enjoyable Conan short story.

[Johnny Bahama · Rating 4 out of 5]

Saying “my women will sing of him,” after you slap some gorilla with your sword, may be the most metal innuendo I’ve ever heard.

[Jeff Tankersley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Our barbarian hero Conan is in a city ruled by a class of nobles under the thumb of the powerful Red Priest Nabonidus. When one of these nobles is threatened by the priest, he enlists a prisoner's promise to kill the priest if he helps him escape. That prisoner is a death-dealing brute named Conan the Cimmerian.

The subsequent chain of events and situations would be spoilery to share for a short story like this. I'll just say you won't be disappointed.

A short fantasy adventure, "Rogues in the House" (1934) is the third tale in the "Conan: Reaver, Mercenary, Conqueror, King, Cimmerian: The Collected Adventures of the World's Greatest Barbarian" collection published by Castenea.

Verdict: Howard's treatment of Conan as a monstrous, colorful, skeptical yet superstitious thief with a code is quite enjoyable and frightening. Almost like throwing Tarzan into a Lovecraftian horror tale. "Rogues in the House" is really good.

Jeff's Rating: 4 / 5 (Very Good)
movie rating if made into a movie: PG-13

[Drew Canole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another young Conan as a thief story, maybe my favourite time period to explore. This one has some weird science fiction elements with the mirror tubes, but also has a giant ape wearing a red cape - which made for one of Frazetta's most iconic paintings.

Comics:
Marvel Conan the Barbarian 11 - simplified and truncated
Darkhorse Conan 41-44 (Conan, Vol. 5: Rogues in the House and Other Stories)
really good, the story also expands on Conan's time during this period.

[Little Timmy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Robert E. Howard is my all time favorite writer, but for many years much of his work was heavily edited. This is another of the heavily edited collections of Robert E. Howard's stories. I am a purist when it comes to a writers works. I know some of these stories are no longer PC but they should be read as Howard wrote them and understood that he wrote in another time period. Don't read this book unless you just can't find any others of Howard's unedited books to read. Message me if you need a list of what is good from this awesome fantasy and action writer.

[Brent Ecenbarger · Rating 4 out of 5]

This one was fun, with Conan starting out in jail and a man offers to rescue him if Conan will kill a powerful political rival. Things don't go as planned as all three of those characters end up working together to stop a beast man with none fully trusting the others.

[Lawrence Caldwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good story. Scary. Personally the evolution stuff tends to draw me out of the fantasy settings.

[Daniel Lein · Rating 3 out of 5]

I audibly laughed when Conan yeeted a stool into a monologuing villain

[Mike Sheehan · Rating 4 out of 5]

These are so much fun. We stan Conan.

[Andrés Iglesias · Rating 4 out of 5]

Muy interesante, y con un buen giro a la mitad. Estoy empezando a ver un patrón en las historias: las más curradas y las hechas con un poco más de desidia, supongo que para cumplir los plazos de entrega con las revistas donde se publicaban. Esta es de las curradas.

[Ahmat Stuk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Conan gets into some shenanigans, as per usual, and must work with two others to escape their doom at the hands of a monster lurking in the labyrinthine house. Tight and gripping, a must read if you are interested in Robert E. Howard stories!

[Rafael · Rating 3 out of 5]

“— O sangue dele é vermelho, afinal. — grunhiu Conan.”

[Michael Sorbello · Rating 4 out of 5]

Conan is drawn into a feud between a priest and a nobleman in Corinthia which leads him to be trapped in a decrepit house that contains a terrifying beast within it. Very simplistic in comparison to many other tales in the series, which is not a bad thing by any means. Instead of focusing on expanding the lore and the development of Conan, we have a straightforward plot about taking down a brutal baddie to settle a deadly dispute. Lots of horrific imagery and badass action scenes. No more, no less. Pure and simple fun.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

Closest to a buddy story I have read in a Conan tale so far. Not great, but still good read.

[Sarah Ehinger · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like the concept of a mansion where every room is thoroughly trapped which the heroes have to work through to escape. Not a terribly compelling bad guy, but an ok read.

[Eli · Rating 5 out of 5]

One race uses a gas chamber to eradicate members of another race. A flying chair saves the day. Ropes are everywhere and this time they aren’t all snakes.

[Dartharagorn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another fun evening read. These short stories are wonderful for a quick before bed or afternoon read. Howard never fails to entertain!

[Nuno Ferreira · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Rogues in the House" foi um conto protagonizado pelo herói de espada & feitiçaria Conan O Cimério, escrito pelo autor americano Robert E. Howard. Publicado pela primeira vez na revista Weird Tales em janeiro de 1934, passa-se na Era Hiboriana e leva o herói a envolver-se inadvertidamente num jogo de poder pelo controle de uma cidade.

Foi a sétima história publicada por Howard protagonizada pelo popular cimério. Em Portugal, o conto chegou-nos pela colectânea A Rainha da Costa Negra da Edições Saída de Emergência em 2007, com tradução de Jorge Candeias. A versão nacional foi traduzida como Patifes na Casa.

O ciclo de leituras em torno de Robert E. Howard prossegue, desta feita com Patifes na Casa. Não é dos contos protagonizados por Conan que mais me fascinaram, mas ainda assim proporcionou alguns bons momentos de suspense, ação e aventura, condimentados com uns salpicos de intriga política. Mais uma vez, a escrita elegante de Howard surpreende em toda a sua extensão, ao conseguir transmitir cenas com uma escrita simples e, ao mesmo tempo, extremamente visual.

Uma das grandes qualidades deste conto é ele não passar-se todo ele sob a perspetiva de Conan. Na verdade, ele só agarra o protagonismo já estamos dentro da história, cabendo ao personagem Murilo as rédeas da ação durante boa parte do conto. Os volte-faces sucedem-se, sempre numa toada de mistério e investigação que agrada-me pessoalmente, ainda para mais quando, com poucas descrições, personagens são muito bem construídos.

A história ocorre em uma cidade-estado sem nome entre Zamora e Corinthia durante uma aparente luta de poder entre dois líderes poderosos: Murilo, um aristocrata e Nabonidus, o "Sacerdote Vermelho", um clérigo com uma forte base de poder. Depois que o sacerdote o ameaça com o conteúdo macabro de um pequeno barrilete, Murilo ouve falar da reputação de Conan como mercenário e decide pedir-lhe ajuda.

Enclausurado numa masmorra, depois de ser vítima do ardil de uma prostituta depois de ter morte um sacerdote corrupto de Anu, Conan aguarda pela execução quando recebe a visita de Murilo. É-lhe proposto um acordo: em troca da sua liberdade, com um cavalo e um saco de ouro, Conan deve matar Nabonidus.

Murilo suborna um guarda para o libertar. Porém, esse mesmo guarda é preso, acusado de corrupção, sendo substituído por outro. Murilo pensa que o seu esquema foi descoberto. O novo carcereiro fica aturdido ao encontrar o prisioneiro livre de correntes, a comer preguiçosamente bocados de carne de boi; Conan neutraliza-o com um osso do próprio bovino.

Por um tempo, ele considera deixar Murilo por conta própria, mas depois decide seguir o plano original e manter a sua palavra. Antes, porém, decide vingar-se da prostituta que o entregara, matando o seu novo amante. Enquanto isso, o aristocrata, acreditando não poder contar com Conan, decide ele próprio matar Nabonidus e aventurar-se na sua mansão.

Ao entrar naquela casa, encontra o Sacerdote Vermelho… ou aquilo em que ele se transformou. Murilo transforma-se num prisioneiro na cave da residência, onde vem a encontrar Conan, que se infiltrara por uma passagem subterrânea. Juntos, tentam escapar do cativeiro, quando descobrem que a figura que aprisionou Murilo não era exatamente quem eles pensavam. A partir daqui, uma série de patifes reúne-se na habitação para destruírem um inimigo comum.

Simples, brutal e cheio de ritmo, este conto mostra que nem tudo o que parece é e que a representação do mal por vezes é um espelho do mundo em que ela própria vive. A violência bárbara de Conan contrasta neste conto com a corrupção levada a cabo por um jovem nobre e pela crueldade intrínseca de um sacerdote poderoso. Por ironia, Conan é o mais honesto dos três.

É um conto raso, sem grande profundidade ou surpresas, apesar dos volte-faces mais ou menos expectáveis. É mais um típico conto pulp de Howard, sem grandes novidades mas com personagens cheios de matizes muito peculiares e um braço-de-ferro interessante entre as figuras de poder. Contém ainda um primata irritante e uma orelha cortada como bónus.

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[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my third dive into Conan the Cimmerian, and I really enjoyed it. I’d rank it on par with The Scarlet Citadel, though I give the edge to Citadel for the extra horror and tension.
What struck me most about Rogues in the House was the philosophical undercurrent. It is really about different types of civility and corruption. The nobleman, the puppeteer, and the brute are all rogues when prestige and manners are stripped away. Conan, by contrast, is the most honest. He acts openly and directly, and that honesty sums up the story’s message perfectly.
I also appreciated seeing this as a kind of backstory for Conan. He is still a barbarian here, drunk, reckless, getting himself caught, which makes the story feel like a window into his growth. Later, as a king, he is older, wiser, and beyond these missteps, so it is satisfying to see the contrast. The story shows him facing threats head-on, even a literal beast man, and coming out on top, which is classic Conan, simple and brutish but effective.
I liked the pacing, fast and tight, and the dual POV at the start helped frame the outcome clearly. The ending hit perfectly, reinforcing the idea of Conan’s straightforward, barbarian approach. No theatrics, no overthinking, just action and consequence.
Overall, this was a quick, engaging, and smartly written story. It highlights Conan’s character, gives a glimpse of the moral structure Howard often plays with, and keeps the reader fully invested from start to finish. Definitely a story I would recommend to anyone wanting a mix of sword-and-sorcery action and subtle commentary on human nature.

[Aksel Erzinclioglu · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this story, while not being my favourite, made me really turn a corner with my Conan reading. I'm not really sure how else to explain it other than saying that this story really made me fully realise what the Conan shorts are.

To most people reading this, that will make absolutely no sense and honestly I'm not entirely sure what I mean by it but I'll try to explain. This was the first time reading a Conan short where I truly appreciated that absolutely anything can happen in any given book. The world is so vast and Conan travels so far and wide that the settings are all very different and each adventure runs its course in entirely different ways.

No, this was not my favourite of the shorts I've read so far but it really made me appreciate this more than any of the others. Truthfully I have no idea why it was this one. Perhaps because I have been struggling with a book recently that I couldn't get into, perhaps because I've been struggling to find time to read and lost a bit of passion for it with this short pulling me back in. I really have no idea what it was but what I can say is that I really enjoyed this short and am looking forward to making my way through all of Conan's adventures.

[Eric Andersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Robert E. Howard remains one of my favorite authors, and the Conan series remains one of my favorite reads. Rogues in the House might be one of his strangest entries—short, dense, and bursting with ideas that would echo through modern fantasy and science fiction for decades.

The story sets Conan against the corruption of a city ruled from the shadows by the Red Priest, Nabonidus, and his unnerving servant Thak, a beast raised to imitate man. It’s a bizarre little political thriller that feels part horror, part allegory, and part fever dream. The pacing is rough, and the symbolism—Howard’s recurring “savagery versus civilization” theme—sometimes muddies the action. Still, the premise itself carries enormous weight: a man raises his own destroyer, and the beast learns to wear his master’s robes.

Even written to silence critics who doubted the value of a barbarian hero, the tale accidentally laid the groundwork for an entire archetype: creator and creation mirroring one another, from Frankenstein to Ultron to Berserk. That’s the power of Howard—he didn’t just tell stories; he built blueprints for future myths.

Flawed? Absolutely. Forgettable? Never.