Vita: The Life of V. Sackville-West

by Victoria Glendinning

' What each of us would look for in an ideal future biographer is what each of us looks for in an ideal sympathy, trustfulness and acute powers of diagnosis. All these three qualities are here present. Vita would undoubtedly have shared our approval and gratitude' Sunday Telegraph Vita Sackville-West was a vital, gifted and complex woman. A dedicated writer, she made her mark as poet, novelist, biographer, travel writer, journalist and broadcaster. She was also one of the most influential English gardeners of the century, creating with her husband the famous gardens at Sissinghurst Castle, Kent. Vita documents her extraordinary life, focusing on her relationships with Violet Trefusis, Virginia Woolf, her husband, and her two sons together with her unpublicised love affairs. Vita was determined to be more than just a married woman; her passionate, secretive character, and the strains, mistakes and achievements of her remarkable life makes " Vita" a absorbing and disturbing book.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, Biography Memoir, History, LGBT, British Literature, Queer

Paperback

First published January 1, 1983

About the author

British biographer, critic, broadcaster and novelist. She is President of English PEN, a winner of the James Tait Black Memorial Prize, was awarded a CBE in 1998 and is Vice-president of the Royal Society of Literature.

Glendinning read modern languages at Oxford and worked as a teacher and social worker before becoming an editorial assistant for the Times Literary Supplement in 1974.

She has been married three times, the second to Irish writer, lawyer and editor Terence de Vere White, who died of Parkinson's disease in 1994.

Reviews

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pick one:

1) A queen
2) English Country Gent- JA’s heroines, eat your heart out
3) The Wandering Child
4) Lover of Women
5) Lover of Men
6) The Mysterious, Distant Lord of the Manor
6) Get Off My Lawn Recluse
7) Heathcliff, But Better
8) Mother

… have you picked one?


… If you answer to that was “No!” then you should read this book. You and Vita are likely to get along very well. Vita was all and none of these things at various points in her life, which was fascinating from beginning to the end. True, she did have certain advantages in her story that gave her more of a start than some others: Vita was born at Knole, an enormous old castle that looks like a whole village in one building, to the son and heir of the house, Lionel Sackville and his wife Victoria Sackville-West. Her father was a handsome young romantic blade, her mother was an enthralling termagant, conducting all her relationships like love affairs (something Vita would pick up from her)- she was also her husband’s first cousin- the illegitimate daughter of Lord Sackville’s diplomat brother and his Spanish flamenco dancer mistress, Pepita. Victoria served as his hostess while he was posted to Washington, and made a great success of it against all odds. Unfortunately, she and her husband fell out of love with each other within a few years of their marriage- the relationship was full of raging and storming and walkouts, with the blanks filled in with parties…. with little Vita left alone to stare.

If I were Vita, I would have written a different story for myself, too. Which is exactly what Vita proceeded to do for the rest of her life- she wrote and lived out very different lives, trying them on for size. She started with the documents and objects that recorded the lives of her ancestors “the records of centuries of Sackvilles- letters, wills, marriage settlements, accounts, menus, diaries, glass, plate and armour”- she played on the rocking horse of the fourth Duke of Dorset, fell in love with her dashing ancestor Edward Sackville, found trunks whose locks had been broken by Roundheads- and put it all into histories, novels, plays and poems. She spent her (lonely, significantly) childhood and adolescence building for herself fully realized, different worlds, over and over again. The creation was near constant- she always needed to be immersed in some sort of story.

She needn’t have worried about that. As she grew older, it seemed somehow that most of the people who knew her projected some sort of fantasy onto her. It’s hard to pin down what it was about her, but everyone seemed to have an image of her that they could describe in detail, from childhood friends to vague dinner party acquaintances. But what really struck me was how often she seemed to just fall into these fantasies, seduced by seeing herself in an image or a story without really thinking very much about how it suited her (her husband Harold often accused her of “drifting into things” without thinking about the consequences- he was very often right). These fantasies allowed Vita a crucial link between the romanticized worlds she had created for herself at Knole to get through her childhood and the Real Life she was about to enter. It’s just fascinating to watch the mix of fantasy and reality in her relationships. For instance, Rosamund Grosvenor, a proper and clean young lady, cast Vita in the mold of her Spanish grandmother and addressed her as “Carmen” or “Princess”, writing to her that: “it is a good thing you are living in a civilized time because there is no knowing what you might not do if anything aroused your Spanish blood…,” or Mary Campbell, one of her later lovers, escaping from an abusive, alcoholic husband, who appealed to Vita as her “St. Anne, her Demeter, lover, mother, everything in women that I most need and love,” People gave Vita incredibly tall orders to live up to.

But none so much as Violet Trefusis, the one woman who nearly convinced Vita to consider the entire real world well lost. A mesmerizing whirlwind of a person herself, she fell in love with Vita when they were teenagers. Vita, however, fell in love with Harold Nicolson, rather against her will. For the first time in her life, was very anchored to the every day round of life by her life with him, his career, their marriage and children. At that point in her life, Vita believed in total commitment- in playing her roles to the hilt, like one of the characters in her novel. There was no halfsies with her. Then Harold informed her of his homosexual relationships- and the sexual nature of them (he had no choice- he had a venereal disease and she needed to get tested)- and it seems like when she found out that she was not everything to Harold, all of the other stories inside her came rushing out again. Violet was right there waiting. Vita still didn’t believe in halfsies- they had a violent, raging, crazy, out of control love affair that went on for four years- during this time Vita went entirely the other way, wrapping herself up entirely in her fantasies, showing them off in the real world: she walked around in public and attended dances as a man, “Julian,” which is how Violet addressed her. It was only very gradually and painfully that Vita realized that she could not live entirely inside her fantasy, that there were in fact other sides to her than the “rackety” bit that enjoyed thumbing his (always his) nose at convention and spitting upon responsibility- something Violet never accepted. But there was more to Vita than what Violet saw of her- there was always more to Vita, something that the image could never quite capture (as Virginia Woolf found out later creating her likeness in Orlando- everyone said it was the perfect likeness, Vita herself fell in love with it “a new form of narcissism” as she herself said- but Vita could never love Virginia the same way after it was published).

I adore this woman for both her passion and for the balance that she found- managing to ultimately live her life in a way that honored all parts of her in turn, and doing her very best to maintain her “self” in the face of everyone and everything that wanted to categorize her and make her stay as the one part of her that they wanted- only she chose who she wanted to be that day. She was even capable of being different people to the same person. One of the many things that fascinated me about her was the complex code that seemed to develop in her relationships, especially as she grew older- especially in her letters. In print, she had codes and keys with people, telling them who they were addressing at that moment, as they told her who they wanted to speak to. Her most intimate letters spoke of herself and her correspondent in the third person, as if they were characters in one of her stories- characters that changed throughout their lives. Some wonderful examples: She and Harold spoke of each other as, “the Mars” all through their lives, (Sackville family word for children) she called him “Hadji”, during their years as lovers, she called Virginia Woolf “Potto” (a man) and spoke of herself as Orlando or “Towser” (a dog image-usually used when she was apologizing to Virginia for something), Violet was “Lushka” she was “Julian” or “Mitya.” One of the more touching moments in her correspondence happens in 1940, at a moment where invasion seemed imminent and Vita was at the end of her rope. She wrote to Violet again then, for the first time in twenty years, saying that she will come to her if ever she needs her and signs her name, again for the first time in twenty years, as Mitya. She would never have said most of these things out loud- in fact her in the flesh interactions with her correspondents were often awkward, distant, never approaching the intimacy of print. If they did, they were unlikely to last for long. Vita called them, after Violet, her beguins, brief interludes that she needed, but which she would soon end and then return to Harold. (Virginia Woolf was the only exception to this rule.)

The flip side of the coin of this woman with the complex, intense and ever changing relationships was the woman with an intense need for solitude- the hermit. It is this side of her that I adored even more than the fascinating aristocratic images of her that most were fascinated with. She wrote, starting even at a very young age, of how people chipped away at her- how interacting with them took and took from her and gave her nothing back. Every little social engagement, visitor, or even time with her children was time away from living the life she wanted to live. Harold didn’t like this part of her- he needed to see her as essentially motherly, warm, loving, good. I think it was this part of her that inspired the other thing that made her famous: her gardening. She and Harold bought Sissinghurst, a run down old castle complex and grounds, in 1930- they spent the rest of their lives turning it into one of the most famous gardens in England- Vita had a long running column on gardening, frequently gave talks on the BBC about it (these soon outstripped those on literature). Some might see this as her giving up or giving in- which isn’t true. She continued to create fiction all her life- her gardening expressed so many other things about her. Some of my favorite pictures of her in the book were those of her as a rugged old lady with her Wellies on and a cigarette in her hand, looking totally confident- Mistress Of All She Surveys at last- the way she never could be at Knole, in any of Harold’s Foreign Office postings (she hated them), in Bloomsbury, or even at smart parties of her upper class friends.

I identify with her for so many reasons: she was never quite smart enough for her smart friends (Virginia called her dumb or too traditional on several occasions), her family found her “slow” or illogical a lot of the time, she was a lonely girl who grew up into a longing for loneliness woman, she very inconveniently found a man she couldn’t live without even while she had so many other things she couldn’t live without doing, managed to be both a mother and have a career, she did not follow Harold’s drum to his various diplomatic postings- only visiting him and making what she could of it, using it for her own ends, even, her motherly side and her rackety side, her insecurity and her distant side, her intense need for solitude, and her lifelong, dogged pursuit of finding herself.

I think everything I’m saying here, everything I admire really boils down to this: “God damn this energy, and thank God for it!” She wrote that to Virginia, right after she finished writing Passenger to Teheran (her book about her first visit to Persia, one of Harold’s postings). She was so self aware of how harmful her passions could be, and just as aware that she could never give them up. She found a way to deal with life so that she could live out that paradox every day.

How many people manage to do that?

Virginia called Vita “a real woman.” Of course, leave it to her to find the best way of saying in three words what I’ve just written your ears off (if I can murder a metaphor) to say. Yeah. That’s it. Thanks, Virginia.

(As an addendum to this review, I should probably note that the biography itself is not five star. My reasons: Glendinning has very definite opinions about Vita's actions and those of the people around her-she dismisses Violet as a "damaging and damaged young woman" for instance-, and she allows her prose to be infected by the archaic style of her subjects. Both of these things are incredibly annoying. But I do think she also gave me enough stellar information to argue with her if I chose, so that's fine. Five stars for the story and the person, probably more like 4 for the book itself.)

[CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great biography of a fascinating, complex, and contradictory person. I think this may actually be the first proper biography that I've read. I read a far share of memoirs, but this book felt very different, in its scope and distance from the subject. That meant the narrative, for better and for worse, really feels like it was written by, in Glendinning's words, someone who was "on her side" but didn't necessarily like her. It makes for a lot of room for being frank about her bad qualities, contradictory behaviour, and for the perspectives of others. At times I felt like I wanted some more emotional involvement in the writing, but I suppose that isn't really possible if you didn't actually know the person.

Obviously, I was interested in this biography because of the sapphic content. Indeed, reading about Sackville-West's pretty much constant affairs with women were fascinating, particularly her relationships with Virginia Woolf and Violet Trefusis. There were many times where I laughed out loud, thinking, another woman has fallen in love with her? But I also found her unique, independent relationship with her husband--who also had many same-sex extramarital affairs--equally interesting. Sackville-West's writing and opinions on "homosexuality," feminism, and class surprised me, in both good and bad ways. I was probably least interested in the sections on gardening, because of my lack of personal interest in the topic--but even I didn't find them too much of a slog.

I'm really glad I read this. I cried at the end when she died, even though, obviously, I knew it was coming. I can't believe that, as someone who wrote her Master's thesis on Woolf's Orlando, it took me this long to get to know the inspiration behind it!

[Tamara · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Vita” is de wervelende biografie over het leven van Vita Sackville-West van de hand van Victoria Glendenning. Het boek is chronologisch opgesteld, goed gestructureerd en vlot en levendig geschreven.

Vita (1892-1962) is gekend als schrijfster, tuinierster en de minnares van Virginia Woolf (zij is de muze achter "Orlando"). Haar huwelijk met Harold Nicolson, dat op zijn manier zeer geslaagd was, alsook haar talloze relaties met vrouwen en mannen komen dan ook uitgebreid aan bod in het boek, naast natuurlijk haar verschillende schrijf- en tuinprojecten, reizen, en haar liefde voor het grote Knole, het landhuis van haar jeugd.

Vita onderhield haar leven lang zeer rijke briefwisselingen, waarvan gelukkig nog een groot aantal brieven bewaard werden. Glendenning koos ervoor om Vita voor een groot deel zelf aan het woord te laten door middel van fragmenten uit deze rijke brievencorrespondentie. Dat zorgt ervoor dat er een zeer kleurrijk en levendig beeld geschetst wordt van deze boeiende vrouw.

Jammer dat het boek uit is, het was wel fijn vertoeven in haar buurt.

[Beth Bonini · Rating 5 out of 5]

In her Preface, author Victoria Glendinning writes that she would like Vita’s story ‘to be read as an adventure story’. Then she goes on to say that ‘I think she would like that too’.

There was never any doubt that Vita Sackville-West was going to have an extraordinary life. As the only child of Victoria and Lionel Sackville (who were themselves first cousins), Vita had the whole of Knole - not so much a house as ‘a mediaeval village with its square turrets and its grey walls, its hundred chimneys sending blue threads up into the air ‘(The Edwardians, V S-W) - as her playground. It was rich stuff, and by age twelve Vita was writing stories inspired by ‘the fantasy (that) was Knole, her ancestors and herself’. Despite this ancient and noble heritage, she was not really a heiress; not only did she not get to inherit Knole (which she thought of forever as the great tragedy of her life), but there wasn’t much of a fortune either. Except for a smallish allowance from the estate’s Trust, and gifts from her mother (much dependent on Lady Victoria’s whim), Vita had to earn money throughout her life. Indeed, she was always the main wage-earner in her marriage. Despite social expectations that she might marry well, bear children, and perhaps become one of society’s leading hostesses, Vita struck a far more independent and unconventional path. Yes, she did marry Harold Nicolson - and they had an enduring and largely successful marriage - and yes, she did have children (two sons, Ben and Nigel) - but the domestic side of her life was never really the main and most important aspect of her life. She had immense drive, energy and discipline, and what struck me most were her accomplishments: foremost (for me) being the daily writing habit which produced novels, poetry, lectures, essays, articles, not to mention an enormous correspondence and a consistent diary; although others might more highly rate her nearly lifelong (self-taught) passion for gardening, which led to the creation of Sissinghurst and an acknowledged signature style expressed in more than 25 years of gardening essays for The Observor.

Other than Sissinghurst, she’s probably best known for her connection to Virginia Woolf - and for being the inspiration for Woolf’s creation of the gender-mutable creation of Orlando. Glendinning takes a chronological approach to Vita’s life, and certainly doesn’t play down the ‘50 or so’ important sexual/emotional relationships of Vita’s life, all of them (with the exception of her husband Harold), with women. (She seems to have been most active between the ages of 20 and 40, but Glendinning mentions that she was having romantic attachments to the very end.) Her immense charisma and need for companionship and excitement contrast with her shyness and love of solitude - which become far more pronounced as she gets older. Glendinning is brilliant at exploring all of the contradictions of Vita’s character and somehow making them seem like an integrated whole (albeit complex) personality.

For future reference (for myself) and to give a sense of the complexities and contradictions of Vita’s character, I am going to reference one of Glendinning’s most complete personality assessments:

The cluster of characteristics that were always to be hers had already developed: a distaste for the idea of marriage; an apparent candour with her intimates that was not candour at all; a capacity for sustaining multiple relationships; the division in her mind between passionate and companionate love; her fantasy - to be realized - of ‘living alone in a tower with her books; also, her disinclination to let anyone who loved her go - keeping them on a string, rebuffing them if they asked too much of her, but drawing in the life sharply if they showed signs of straying.

I was never bored - which cannot always be said about biographies! The historical span of Vita’s life would have been enough to interest me - born in the opulent Edwardian age, she lived through both world wars and the immense social changes that came about partly because of them - but she truly did have an approach to life which was uniquely her own in so many ways. From the beginning, this portrayal of Vita fascinated me and I would definitely rate it as as a demonstrably well-researched and insightful exploration of a unique personality of the 20th century.

[Phil · Rating 5 out of 5]

Glendinning's biography of Vita Sackville West is a stunning achievement. I've awarded it a whole 5 stars because to make a biography this readable while not trivialising, sensationalising or over-dramatising is a real feat. It's clear that while Vita was in the very much the middle ranks of middle-level writers, it's her life that's the true work of art. Born the eldest child of the Sackville-Wests but never to inherit the enormous fantasy playground that's Knole castle and gardens because she was a girl; a highly sexed lesbian who married a gay man and yet settled onto one of the happiest and most settled marriages among her peers; a woman who attracted obsessive sexual and emotional attachments and yet couldn't bring herself to lose contact with her ex-lovers; a woman who yearned whole-heartedly to be a top-notch writer but who is best remembered for the garden she planted at Sissinghurst; snob, iconoclast, trailblazer, ultraconservative, traditionalist, rebel, homebody, wanderlust-suffering, adulteress, loyal wife, poet.

Sackville-West is one of the most fascinating women in an era of fascinating women. This book turns her life into a story more complex, moving, multi-faceted, poignant and imaginative than any of her works of fiction. She recorded her life in the written word and most of what we know of her marriage with Harold Nicholson and her family and army of ex-lovers is told through the written word: her constant diary and her endless letters - from her teenage years, through the exciting "elopement" with Violet Trefusis, from which Harold and Violet's fiancee had to charter a private plane to France and land in a remote field to whisk them back to England from their lovers enclave, through her friendship with the fragile Virginia Woolf and her life on the precarious edge of the Bloomsbury set, through her post-war self-imposed exile at Sissinghurst following her mother's descent into senility and angry dementia, and finally her obession with the perfect garden: every phase was meticulously recorded by Vita and Harold.

If you have any interest in VSW whatsoever, this is the place to start.

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

Competent and interesting biography of Vita Sackville-West. her garden at Sissinghurst is one of the treasures of the National Trust. The White Garden is stunning. Sackville-West is a fascinating character, born at Knole, one of the largest country houses in England. The only reason she did not inherit it was because she was a woman.
Vita was a poet, novelist, gardener and prolific broadcaster. Her 49 year marraige to Harold Nicholson has been well documented. They had what would now be termed an open marraige; they both had lovers (Harold male and Vita female). Glendinning outlines her many infatuations and two in particular stand out; Violet Trefussis and Virginia Woolf. Vita was very passionate and often moved quickly from one infatuation to another. Throughout all this her marraige survived, even thrived.
Vita was a complex character and not always likeable, becoming more conservative as she grew older. Her argument for euthanasia for "mental defectives" left me rather chilled; however, we create institutions like Winterbourne View and call it progress! She always struggled to be a respected author or poet and never quite seemed to get there, she often had too much else to do and never got on with Edith Sitwell (an aristocratic contemporary and also a poet). I had never realised the figure of Orlando in Virginia Woolf's novel was Vita; it was written at the height of their affair.
A good biography of a complex and contradictory figure who never quite found peace; but Sissinghurst is a treasure.

[Suzanne Stroh · Rating 5 out of 5]

After many, many readings, this is still a book I turn to every year. It is on my list of top ten or twenty works of nonfiction written during my lifetime. And it is the best literary biography I've ever read.

To earn that praise from me, a literary biography must be delicately balanced, witty and wise, while never losing its humanity. This is that book in spades.

You can't beat it for sheer entertainment. But Vita is also a first class life study. Victoria Glendinning writes with affection for her subject and great insight. Hard to believe it was one of her first full length works.

She worked closely with Vita's son Nigel Nicolson, who had strong views about the legacy left by both his parents, and yet the author stayed objective enough to give an accurate, clear and thoughtful accounting of a very complicated life. The writing is just marvelous. Sentences ring true; paragraphs resonate; chapters read like an adventure story. It all ends too soon.

This book gives the best overall picture of Vita Sackville-West as an extraordinary woman of 20th century letters, an eccentric (and often exasperating) English aristocrat, a popular author who negotiated celebrity since childhood, a passionate poet, an even more passionate (and rampant) lover--whom Glendinnning calls "indefensible" and who "left a trail of broken hearts," as another Goodreads reviewer put it--and above all, a master gardener.

[Fiona · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sticking with my resolve to read as many biographies about Edwardian and early 20th Century upper class women as I can this year, I was not disappointed with Victoria Glendinning's biography of Vita Sackville-West from the point of view of exhaustive research and detail. This is a story about another highly sexed bed-hopping titled and privileged Brit who just so happened to be a lesbian, married to a terribly nice man (a diplomat) who happened to be gay. Sackville-West and her husband Harold Nicholson probably had the most documented marriage in history, so Glendinning's task was most probably made easier because of this. It just got so interminably dull reading about how many times Vita fell inlove with women, complicating everyone's life, fell out of love with women, further complicating everyone's life ad infinitum. For her whole bloody life. Her love affair with Virginia Woolf is interesting because it inspired her to write Orlando based on Sackville-West. Her affair with Violet Trefusis I think was more interesting however. Nicholson's affairs with "boys" seemed far less complicated for a reason I failed to glean. I did appreciate Sackville-West's very honest self assessment that she was highly sexed. It seemed to allow her the largesse she needed to misbehave whenever she felt like it. Generally speaking, why the middle classes are so squeamish about morals I have no idea. The upper classes seemingly share no similar constraints on their wants and lusts, based on my reading of various biographies over the last few months. In retrospect I've decided that this biography would have been far more interesting if Glendinning had concentrated more on the wonderful garden Vita and Harold built at Sissinghurst than their sexual pecadillos. But it might not have sold as much copy...

[Waffle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m sure I, too, would have fallen in love with Vita. A fascinating queer life.

[C · Rating 5 out of 5]

Biografia stupenda. Sto studiando Vita da circa 6 mesi e a mio avviso Glendinning è una delle migliori studiose di questa autrice controversa. La selezione di fotografie è molto interessante; in questo libro ripercorriamo anno per anno la vita dell'autrice. Ho letto tre biografie su Sackville-West ma questa, nonostante sia una delle più datate, trovo che sia la più completa e la più appassionata. Mi dispiace molto che Vita Sackville-West non riceva le attenzioni che meriterebbe e che ha ricevuto in passato (basti pensare che i suoi libri vendevano più copie di quelli della sua amica e amante Virginia Woolf). Era una donna davvero forte, forse difficile da amare, ma poetica, potente, passionale, meravigliosa.

[Shelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vita Sackville-West was a poet, author, and prolific letter-writer who maintained a loving and happy marriage while both she and her husband had same gender romances and affairs throughout the entire thing. I picked this up because I totally fell for Hilda Matheson in Radio Girls and this was the closest to a bio of her I could find--naturally, she is given less page time than most of Vita's other paramours! Oh, well. I found myself completely fascinated by Vita and this was such a deep and insightful introduction to her. She was such a mess of contradictions, so dismissive of lower and middle classes, obsessed with being loved by everyone, gave so much of her time and energy to ex-lovers, was so unable to make deep connections to anyone, supported her son Ben when he also came out as gay, etc. Sometimes I'd be going along, feeling understanding and kinship, and then she'd write something horrid that was quoted and I'd be shocked, and then back around again. She really was so fascinating. She did awful things to people (especially Ben, and Nigel), but so many women, especially, were just obsessed with her anyway. I can't imagine what it would have been like to know her!

[Drew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Despite Glendinning's admission (in a new introduction) that she never particularly liked her subject but remains "on her side," this is an incredibly thorough, beautifully written, and meticulously researched biography of Vita Sackville-West, one that will remain the standard. I come to this work as a Virginia Woolf scholar, and this work thoroughly fills in the other side of Vita and Virginia's famous affair.

[Steven · Rating 3 out of 5]

"And to think how the ceilings of Long Barn once swayed above us!"

So wrote Vita titillatingly to Virginia Woolf, reminiscing later in life of their love affair. Indeed, if there was anyone who could coax the staid and brilliant Virginia Woolf to passion it was Vita. The very same woman featured as Orlando in Virginia's signature work, a work that epitomizes the dual nature and sexuality of these unique women.

Equally important we learn of the open marriage of Vita and her husband Harold Nicolson. Right under the nose of aristocratic Edwardian society, husband and wife carried on their homosexual affairs while maintaining appearances and nurturing a very real life-long love for one another. And yet it was all almost brought down by Vita's torrid affair with Violet Trefusis, a childhood mate turned lover. Yet they raised two boys themselves, surely cementing their marriage wholly. Later when their eldest son came out to his parents, both were encouraging and supportive. Considering the period of time this can only be described as remarkable and far ahead of their times.

While the importance of this biography, and of Vita's story, cannot be emphasized enough, I wasn't struck with the sense of adventure and adoration for this as others apparently have been. It's pace was steady, even slow at times. I couldn't consider it a page-turner by any means. Yet a lover of biographies and of this era would find this book an important read. I found though that the author never placed Vita in the context of her era. Tell me how unique she was beside her contemporaries. The author never seemed to take a step back and look at the overall picture.

Vita the author and gardener (a big deal in English society) shouldn't be overshadowed by her various proclivities. She was well published and wrote all her life. The gardens and grounds at their home of Sissinghurst is their lasting legacy. Yet while her gardening acumen was made clear, did she weed and plant the gardens herself? Does hiring a gardener, a gardener make you? While the loss of her childhood home Knole hurt her deeply, it wasn't made clear by the author how Vita was any more a victim of inheritance laws than other women. Yet much ado regarding this is made of.

Late in the novel I was struck by and truth be told, offended by the author's words. A trip to South Africa was described and the author says: "Conservative though she was, the sight of apartheid in practiced horrified Vita." As a self-described conservative myself, I can assure you apartheid has no place in conservative thought. It has no place in the politics of left, right or any other. This line only serves to expose the author's bias and ignorance.

[Q · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's getting embarrassing, how much I've read about this woman. I find myself starting to dress like her - pearls, breeches, boots, silk shirt, jacket. And she's really a bit awful - such a trail of broken hearts! But I'm also fascinated.

I don't often (ever?) read biographies but I thought this was quite good. It seemed meticulously researched without being weighed down in information - the story moved along quite nicely with a comfortable amount of quotation from letters and works and balancing narrative and analysis.

It doesn't make me want to go read Vita's poetry, because I wasn't very impressed with the excerpts, but I might read Pepita or Challenge.

[Nicola Pierce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am going to get myself the full set of Glendinning biographies because she is just marvellous. I brought this book away with me for a week in Spain, to celebrate five months of chemo done, and - as much as I loved the hotel, weather etc, - 'Vita' was my top highlight, so much so, that when I finished it, halfway through the week, I began to experience that dull 'end of holiday' feeling. Sadly, I could not get into the second book I brought just because of the brilliance of this one! Highly recommend it!

[William · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has major strengths and major downsides, but all in all I am glad I read it and found much of it poignant. I'll start with the pluses.

At heart, this is, to me at least, a love story about the relationship between Vita and Harold. They left quite a trail of relationship information, and the strength of their devotion is compelling, even if they lived it out in a way different from what many of us would choose. This is also an epistolary novel in a sense. Both of them wrote very emotional and communicative letters, and I expect that some other author has told this story using just those sources.

Another angle form which to read this is as a study in the mores of the English upper classes in the first half of the 20th Century. On the one hand, there were an enormous number of social niceties one had to adhere to, and on the other hand so many of the characters in this book did whatever they wanted to do, rules be damned. That's certainly true of Vita and Harold, and while they often were short of funds, they lived very well, and sent both sons to Eton and Oxford.

In addition, this is a family saga, both extended (especially on the side of Vita's family) and intimately in the relationship of Vita, Harold and their sons Ben and Nigel.

Finally, this is of course a work in the LGBT+ canon. While Vita and Harold did produce children, they were pretty much exclusively interested in sexual relationships with their own gender. I may have not understood this accurately, but Vita did not seem to think about herself as Lesbian (and, of course, if I am right, she could have been deluding herself).

What I especially respect in this book is that the reader really comes to know Vita well (and Harold to only a somewhat lesser extent) and I am unsure even now about whether I like her or not. She can be a very loyal friend (and certainly, spouse) but she is also a bully, not always honest with her intimate friends, and makes some choices which appalled me (including simultaneous liaisons with two roommates). It does not matter, of course, if a reader likes Vita or not; what is compelling is that she is portrayed with all the complexity of being human the way she chose to do it.

But there are major downsides to thi8s book as well. There is just too much detail, and sometimes the story gets lost. I never managed to keep track of all the lovers of both Vita and Harold, and while some of them develop into lifelong friends, their backstory was so much earlier that I had lost track of the details. There is also endless name-dropping of individuals important in British government, literature and society. A few of the relationships with Vita are easy to follow, especially those with Virginia and Leonard Woolf. I have to admit, though, that I had difficulty keeping track of Vita's relationships with the women with major roles in her life at various points in time. And a small quibble -- it is helpful to know some French in reading this, though most of it is pretty simple stuff.

My bottom line is that this is very much a story worth reading, and Vita and Harold are characters whom I will long remember. I mentioned above that I am not sure I like Vita, but somehow I did come to care about her. While I wish this biography were shorter and more sharply focused on a smaller number of characters, it nevertheless is a saga which often moved me, and I thank the author for that.

[Adrianna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Glendinning is an excellent biographer in the sense that she is meticulous in piecing together primary source documents. In one sense, all the "facts" are very accurate and well documented and this is a super detailed account of West's life and probably the most comprehensive to date in that it evenly covers all aspects of her life (career, family, travel, love, friendship, pets, homes, gardening, money issues). However, its clear that Glendinning did not admire or even like West, which begs the question why she bothered to write this. Glendinning, maybe under Nigel Nicholson's influence, often paints Vita's sexuality negatively, argues that her actions are "indefensible" and paints her as some sort of villainous womanizer at times. Even Glenddinng had to grudgingly admit that Harold Nicolson was manipulative, narcissistic, and lied and cheated on Vita and gave her an STD (a fact most biographers neglect to mention when going on about how 'wonderful' their marriage was). Its clear Harold and Vita were rarely if ever in the same room, let alone the same house or country, and mainly maintained their marriage through oddly childish letters. Plus she financially supported him for the entire marriage. Glendinning also fails to clearly state that Geoffrey Scott was physically violent towards Vita, and instead, seems to paint her as the reason Scott's marriage failed, not that he was an abusive a**hole. Also, Vita maintained close relationship with all the women she had had relationships with, though Glendinning paints her as a "home-wrecker", without actually investigating why these marriages failed or considering that the women were GAY and just realized how unhappy they were married in a men. The area where Vita could be really criticized are A) her treatment of Violet Keppel who was being physically and emotionally abused by her mother and husband but receives no help from Vita. However, Glendinning paints an unrelentingly negative picture of Violet, never contextualizing her as anything more than a manipulative spoiled child and B) Vita's neglect of her children. She supposedly gave up Violet to remain with her family but can barely be bothered with her children and spends hours shut up away from them. Nigel, who was still alive when this biography was written, seems to have a positive view his mother, but her son Ben, seemed to have had serious mental health issues and was gay himself (Vita and Harold broke up one of his affairs). Ben would have been really interesting to learn more about but he doesn't get much attention. The poor handling of Vita's sexuality is emblematic of the homophobia of the 1980s and whatever influence Nigel Nicholson had on the writing to maintain the image of his 'perfect' family, but was disappointing. Otherwise, she does an excellent job tracing Vita's writing career, social life, and travels.

[pdxmaven · Rating 2 out of 5]

A biography of Vita Sackville-West published in 1983 and one I am sure I read soon thereafter, along with (I was on a roll!) a book of her gardening columns and her son’s biography of his parents as well. What is incredible to me is what I did NOT remember of what I read. How Vita and her husband Harold “arranged” their marriage to work (with both having same sex lovers while maintaining their sense, almost entirely via letters, that their marriage was met the penultimate ideal of marriage, with an expectation that jealousy will always be transcended; what it was like to be at that level of English aristocracy/wealth and be able to travel, write and garden but certainly not earn money or parent one’s children(!!), how disparaging Vita was of middle and lower class folks, how Sissinghurst came to be, how homosexuality was seen in this historical period (she and Harold, in their letters, refer to homosexuality as ‘b.s.ness’), etc etc . I did remember that Vita and Virginia Woolf were friends but not much of the complexity and interdependence of the relationship. And at one point, Vita came to London to visit Virginia, and she and Virginia go to visit Dickens’ house (page 236), which was just 3 or 4 doors down the street from where I worked when we were living in London. Pretty trippy! The author was determined to cover every affair (and resumption of an old affair), travel here or there, and letters written, so getting through this was quite the slog!

[MargCal · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 ☆
Finished reading … VITA: The Life of V. Sackville-West / Victoria Glendinning ... 19 June 2021
ISBN: 0753819260 … 436 pp., incl. Notes and Sources, Books by V. Sackville-West, and Index.

This is a good, straightforward, detached, chronological biography of one of the better known women of her day in both literary and gardening circles, although these days VS-W is better known for her garden at Sissinghurst (equally, but less known, created in collaboration with her husband Harold Nicolson), and for her association with Virginia Woolf.

First published in 1983, the style and vocabulary are starting to date a little but that is a minor criticism. It is a biography that couldn't be bettered, it is so thoroughly researched and referenced.

VS-W is loved and admired by so many women, and a few men, throughout her life so there is something about her that doesn't jump off the printed page. Because she comes across as not particularly likeable – quite self-centred in just about all things and, in all her love affairs, not giving a thought to whom she hurts along the way. Yet people saw this side of her and put up with it.

Vita's marriage is remarkable but it is Harold, not Vita, who deserves the medal for its lasting until death. Portrait of a Marriage: Vita Sackville-West and Harold Nicolson by Nigel Nicolson and Vita Sackville-West [ISBN: 9780226583570] is well worth reading in this regard.

Highly recommended.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good, readable biography which uses many sources such as letters and diaries. The story is of course fairly well-known by now, but how the unusual marriage was managed and how, up to point, discretion was maintained is interesting. Vita's mother if anything is a more colourful character still. Lots of interesting asides, some of which might raise an eyebrow - or perhaps meet with approval in today's cruel climate - such as the suggestion of euthanasia as an alternative to the old age pension for the poor - although, like a lot of conservatively minded people, Vita could be kind to people ahe actually knew while making sweeping observations about whole classes. The upper-class bed-hopping circles of earlier 20th century England may have been less extensive than we think, as all of these biographies and diaries seem to overlap at least somewhere. The garden at Sissinghurst sounds like a real legacy to leave, adding it to my list of places I have not been to and would like to see.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first real biography I’ve read, so I can’t really compare it to anything, but I enjoyed it even more thoroughly than I expected to. It’s also hard to write a review when the last few pages have had me in tears! Despite having a couple of bad takes, Glendinning’s writing is beautiful and engaging so it did almost feel like I was reading a novel, and I was never bored, even during parts that were less interesting to me.

As for Vita herself, Glendinning says in the introduction to the new 2018 edition which I own, “I don’t really like her, but I’m on her side.“ which confused me slightly, but I do understand it much more after reading. I think I do like her, or at least I am more empathetic towards her flaws than some, but she does have you yelling in frustration at the page during some of her less admirable decisions! But really, she has a very special place in my heart and I adored this book.

[Katharine · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent and very readable biography of a complex woman. Brought up at the great house of Knole, which she could never inherit due to her gender, Vita Sackville-West was a poet and author but later best known as the creator, along with her husband Harold Nicolson, of the wonderful garden at Sissinghurst. She was also known for her passionate relationships with Violet Trefusis and Virginia Wolfe, but despite being primarily a lesbian and attracting other women like moths to a flame she also had a very loving relationship with her husband. The author brings out the complexities of Vita’s not always likeable character very well and also those of the other people in her life, particularly her extraordinarily difficult mother and her husband Harold using copious letters and diaries to full effect. A fascinating read.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, I’m super biased with this one because I’m a big fan of Vita Sackville-West, aka the real Orlando, aka aristocratic lesbian fuckboi extraordinaire. I will say that Victoria Glendinning has written this excellently - often biographies, especially of rich people living in the early 20th c. - can be dry and boring, but this is written a bit like a story, with lots of fun anecdotes. Is it niche? Yes. I don’t think casual readers would stick with it; it is very dense. But, really, everyone should be interested in Vita - she was such a fascinating, magnetic person - so I encourage you to at least do a cursory Google of her and read a bit about her life.

[Jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

Extremely thorough and detailed, very long, overall a good read - lots of narrative correspondence and diary entries. VSW was married and both she and her husband had same sex affairs throughout their life - she would also dress is “men’s” clothes and use a different name. Most interesting was seeing how other authors works related to Vitas work and also herself as a person (ie, Virginia Woolf’s Orlando is supposed to be about Vita).

[Kat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of gave up on this book. It just seem like a rambling well researched narrative but with no doubt. For example the author writes that Vita gets married the same year she publishes her first book of poetry, but there’s no mention of the book or how it was received or what the poems were or anything literary details. I’m as much interested in the work of an author as I am of their life and inspirations, so at some point, I looked at my list of books to read and opted to put this aside.

[Lara · Rating 5 out of 5]

A life worth reading. Vita was tireless, curious, and well-travelled. She had interesting friends and never held back her opinions about pretty much everything. Life in the 1920s and 30s was much more varied, scandalous, and bohemian than we assume. Vita and her husband had lovers all their lives, pursued their own careers and interests zealously, and, still, kept a close and loving relationship throughout.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vita Sackville-West might have been surprised that she is most well known for being Virginia Woolf's lover (for a very short time). In her own life, she won poetry prizes, wrote best-selling novels, and was most well known as a gardener--and a writer of gardens. This well-written biography is a look at this fascinating woman and her times.

[Bobbie Allen MacNiven-Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is in my Top Ten and has been there ever since I first read it in 1996. I’ve read it many times since then, and I still find it fascinating. It’s extremely well written, and strikes the right balance between authorial voice and factual objectivity.

[Ingrid · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 ⭐ book from Victoria Glendinning and 5 ⭐ life from Vita Sackville-West = 10/5 ⭐

For me this book was written in the possible most beautiful way. VG had me at the preface.



Also all the love letters ❤️

[Melanie Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

Competent and readable