Life After Suicide: Finding Courage, Comfort & Community After Unthinkable Loss

by Jennifer Ashton

From the chief medical correspondent of ABC News, an eloquent, heartbreaking, yet hopeful memoir of surviving the suicide of a loved one, examining this dangerous epidemic and offering first-hand knowledge and advice to help family and friends find peace.

Jennifer Ashton, M.D., has witnessed firsthand the impact of a loved one's suicide. When her ex-husband killed himself soon after their divorce, her world-and that of her children-was shattered. Though she held a very public position with one of the world's largest media companies, she was hesitant to speak about the personal trauma that she and her family experienced following his death. A woman who addresses the public regularly on intimate health topics, she was uncertain of revealing her devastating loss-the most painful thing she'd ever experienced. But with the high-profile suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, Dr. Ashton recognized the importance of talking about her experience and the power of giving voice to her grief. She shared her story with her Good Morning America family on air-an honest, heartbreaking revelation that provided comfort and solace to others, like her and her family, who have been left behind.

In Life After Suicide, she opens up completely for the first time, hoping that her experience and words can inspire those faced with the unthinkable to persevere. Part memoir and part comforting guide that incorporates the latest insights from researchers and health professionals, Life After Suicide is both a call to arms against this dangerous, devastating epidemic, and an affecting story of personal grief and loss. In addition, Dr. Ashton includes stories from others who have survived the death of a loved one by their own hand, showing how they survived the unthinkable and demonstrating the vital roles that conversation and community play in recovering from the suicide of a loved one. The end result is a raw and revealing exploration of a subject that's been taboo for far too long, providing support, information, and comfort for those attempting to make sense of their loss and find a way to heal.

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health, Memoir, Grief, Psychology, Self Help, Health

Audio CD

Published May 7, 2019

About the author

Jennifer Ashton is a Board-certified Ob-Gyn, author and TV medical correspondent. She is chief health and medical editor and chief medical correspondent for ABC News and Good Morning America, chief women's health correspondent for The Dr. Oz Show, and a columnist for Cosmopolitan Magazine. She is also a frequent guest speaker and moderator for events raising awareness of women's health issues.

Librarian's note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Reviews

[Carol Storm · Rating 1 out of 5]

My awesome kids, my awesome friends, my awesome dogs, my awesome job . . . it was just much too awesome for a book about grief.

[Teresa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Yikes. I gave this book two chapters/sections same as I will do anything to give it a chance. This author, who I had zero knowledge of prior to reading this, strikes me as quite entitled and the constant name dropping and tone of 'my life is great, look at all this great stuff I do and the great people I have, they're so great' is more condescending than helpful to any sort of average person or loss experienced. Feels like all the noting of 'great' is just covering the actual pain she may/may not have experienced.

Not for me. At all.

[Dimple · Rating 2 out of 5]

Without intending to disregard the pain of a grieving widow, this book reeks of privilege and comes across as extremely pretentious. The constant name-dropping and claims about her “amazing, incredible, wonderful” kids become exhausting, and take away from what I believe the essence of the book is meant to be. It gets better when she shares other survivors’ stories, but she gets back to it when she describes how it affects her. Felt like this was more a memoir to her family and helpful mostly to herself.

[LORI CASWELL · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dollycas’s Thoughts

Losing my eldest son to suicide on March 15, 2015, has been devastating for me, our family, and everyone that loved him. I thought enough time had passed that I could read this book to help me on my grief journey and help me see things more clearly with the help of a woman dealing with grief herself. It took me longer to finish this book than I had originally thought. I found that I was not going to be able to read this book like any other book I have read. So, I challenged myself to read 1 chapter each day. Sometimes I needed more than 1 day in between. It actually took me 21 days to complete the book.

I could see right away that my experience was totally different than Dr. Ashton’s. First, because she lost a husband not a child, but it was more than that. Dr. Ashton had resources I never had and most people don’t. She is a wealthy woman and a celebrity for her work as an ABC News medical correspondent. She was easily able to find therapists for herself and her children. A therapist she could call at any time day or night. Where I live, grief therapists are few and you can wait weeks or months to even get an appointment if you find one accepting new patients. My family physician did his best. Being disabled and being unable to drive added roadblocks for me. Thankfully I found an online group that helped me so much.

A few chapters into the book I started to see things from a different point of view. My son’s ex-wife had much more in common with Dr. Ashton than I did. Divorced, was finally working out the co-parenting necessary to raise a happy and healthy child, and the devastation she now faces as the only parent in their child’s life. She has the added burden of finding the right balance of how to explain to her daughter her father’s death because she was just under 3 years old when her dad died. Each year explaining just so much and answering her daughter’s questions. My granddaughter is now 7 and the explanations get harder and harder. I plan to share this book with my daughter-in-law because while Dr. Ashton’s children were older she may glean some knowledge to help her with my granddaughter.

One thing I loved was the way Dr. Ashton’s daughter Chloe, 17 at the time of her father’s death saw signs of her father’s presence in her life. Once, a song that randomly played at one of her hockey games as the players took the ice to battle in overtime, a song they always played when he was taking her to hockey games. She knew it was a sign her dad was watching over her. Chloe’s team won the game. I have had a few things that most people would call coincidences, I just know it’s my son sending me a message.

The author does share 2 stories of women she has met that had lost their children. I identified with a lot of things one of the moms went through. Knowing your child is struggling, happy when they reach out and agree to get help, thinking the help is working, and then getting that call or in my case the knock on the door and hearing that your child took his own life and was gone forever. The pain, the numbness, the tears, the darkness.

Like the mom in the book, I was moved by the funeral service and all the people that came, that loved Kris, were his friends, his classmates, his workmates and all the people that came that knew me, my husband, my 3 other children. If only our son’s had realized that while being released from their current pain they were leaving so much pain behind. Since my son’s death, I have used this quote often “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”.

Dr, Ashton is in a good place when the book ends but points out continued communication is necessary. Because of her status, she was able to write this book. She was able to give me more hope. While everyone’s grieving process is different, she understands what suicide survivors feel and think because she has been there. The important take away is YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I really learned this through my online support group, but it is something that needs to be reinforced every day. Some days are good, some are even great, but sometimes that grief raises up and smacks you in the face, even years after your loved one’s death. Together we can go on.

“Together we can put an end to the mental illness and suicide stigmas that have caused an obscene amount of undeserved pain. Together we can make a difference, in honor of those we have loved and lost.”

Myself, I use my online presence to try to raise awareness. People have told me my messages have helped them. I want to stop any other family for sharing the pain that suicide leaves behind. I have struggled and had dark days myself. I know I am not alone in those feelings either. Support from friends, family, and other moms who understand help me more than words can say.

If you are struggling with the loss of a loved one to suicide you may find comfort in reading this book. Just prepare head and your heart. I recommend reading it slowly as I did. Have a tissue handy and reach out to friends if you need to talk.

None of our stories are exactly the same. It is hard to share our stories with people we have known forever. I applaud Dr. Ashton for sharing hers and those of others she knew with the public. I am sure she will help a vast number of people.

[Gerri · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to love this story but the best I can say for it is it was ok. Suicide is a horrid thing for everyone involved and there is not enough good information or books about it out here in the world. Although I did finish the book (there were times I th0ught it would be a DNF) it left me feeling rather empty and thinking that as a book about suicide it could leave the average person feeling it was not all that helpful. Until I picked up this book, I had no knowledge of Dr. Ashton. I seldom watch day time TV so missed her on the many shows she references being on. I mention her “stardom” as in reading I felt the book was more about her then the actual events and healing from this tragedy. The word “I” was so overused and name dropping so prevalent that it was hard to relate to the average person reading to her story. How nice for her that she had the financial means to relocate…how nice she had the means to go a healing vacation. Not many of us have that luxury. As a couple other reviews have mentioned…..the book ended up being more about the promotion of how everything in her life was so awesome. This novel is far too self- centered and indulgent. For those who may be looking for a good self-help book about suicide I’d say this…..keep looking.

[Reese Copeland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emotionally moving and educational. I read this as part of something for my work, but it was also something I was interested in reading as well. Suicide is something that is considered a taboo subject and is fraught with stigma, much like mental illness. It gives a personal perspective from someone who is the survivor of a suicide and you can gain a tremendous amount of insight as a result. For me, this was something of a personal book as well as I struggle with severe depression and have thought about suicide a lot, with one half assed attempt. Definitely, it is something that people who think about suicide don't consider for their loved ones; but some of us do, like myself. However, it is difficult for "normal" people to understand how much emotional pain someone is in that they would consider suicide and knowing the impact it can have on their loved ones, yet still seriously consider it. Calling someone a coward or selfish for the position they find themselves in where suicide is one of their only, if not the only, option, is ignorance. To others, there is no reason to kill oneself. To those of us that consider it, there is a 10o1+ reasons. Try to understand us, not judge us.

[Leah · Rating 1 out of 5]

Shallow. This how I would describe this book in one word. It is quite hard to detach my annoyance with how many names dropped in this book, how awesome and well adjusted her kids are, how lucky she is to have an awesome job blah blah blah
But.The book is poorly written. The language is very simple. The adjectives "successful", "awesome" and "lucky" are overused. The author intends to bring awareness to suicide but she does not succeed in talking about it. She makes complex emotions simple. She seems to do quite a bit of talking about how offended she was when somebody said this and that as though she wants to discourage anyone from ever addressing a suicide survivor. She had a chance to talk about her journey. Instead, she resorted to listing her blessings and recounting them for the duration of the book. It is a poor unfortunate book about grief and suicide. If you are looking a good book about grief, read Sheryl Sandberg Option B instead. She gets it.

[Conni Eckstein · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book came from a recommendation of a mental health professional. I didn't want to read it as Dr. Ashton had only been 18 months from the tragedy and was a celebrity. The book is full of name dropping, the word 'I' is used profusely, and I found it unhelpful to the average person. I lost my son to suicide almost 6 years ago. Jen, wait awhile to publicize your grief to have a better impact.

[Therese · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book...there are not enough books on suicide! But I think the community of suicide survivors could do without this one. As someone else mentioned in their review, it was more a promotion of how awesome everything in her life is with the exception of this situation.

[Brittany Winston · Rating 3 out of 5]

I initially would’ve given this book 1 star. But once the author stopped talking about herself and started sharing other people’s stories, I actually took something away from it. I didn’t read a synopsis before purchasing this book, that probably would’ve stopped me from buying. But alas, the book was “DECENT.” I really appreciated the stories that were shared by fellow sufferers but I believe the author needs more time.

[LivingTheDream · Rating 1 out of 5]

More for show and tell, than substance. The author is bloated with self-importance and if she did have a difficult time with why her ex-husband committed suicide, this reader felt strongly that the never-ending name dropping, placing herself on a pedestal and boasting about her many comforts and privileges of life explained clearly why he jumped to his death. She minimized his existence, denigrated HIS purpose, and simply never saw that her ego always arrived to the conversation 20 minutes before she did. Never have I read a book intended to help others who have dealt with a similar problem and gasped at how little content could do anything but pour salt in the wound reading this collection of "I'm so special, you're not" pages. This pathetic display of self-absorption offers a clear reason for the divorce and suicide. The author is so in love with herself, she has no room left to begin to share life with someone else. When someone is this narcissistic, no one is truly welcome to their life. They're important, you're not. She was important, he was not. The pity is that he could have had a wonderful life with someone else. After years of being berated and belittled, he likely came to believe what the author spewed forth. Suicide may have been what he felt was his only relief as she clearly instilled within him miniscule value.

[Lisa Kern · Rating 1 out of 5]

It is very hard to give a book about dealing with the suicide of someone you love one star but that is all this book deserves. The author spends the whole book letting you know she and her kids have lots of friends, money and support, name dropping all the way. Than she proceeds to gush on how fantastic her children are and how well they have adjusted to the loss of their father. I don't believe that, but I won't speculate about that. Unfortunately, not everyone is as blessed as the writer. The book would have been a much better book if the writer had tried to find more ordinary people who have experienced this kind of loss and discover how they coped. She also could have done more research into resources for people who aren't as lucky as she is to be able to afford one on one therapy etc. This book might have been intended to be a self helpbook, but I think the only person it really helped was the author.

[Joe Rush · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt compelled to write this review in response to some of the negative reviews I've read about this book. As someone who has battle grief over the loss of a loved one, I found Dr. Ashton's book to be a breath of fresh air. She hits the nail on the head about the grieving process, so much so that there is little I could change or add. My loss was not a result of suicide, but cancer at age 38. Left with 2 & 4 year old daughters, I can totally relate to her journey (albeit suicide makes that journey so much harder). If you or someone you know is struggling with the grieving process, especially as a result of suicide, I would highly recommend this book! You're not alone!!
And to all those 1 star reviewers...get over the fact the Jennifer Ashton is a celebrity, she a human first. I applaud her for sharing her story.

[Shelly Ibok · Rating 5 out of 5]

I struggle with whether to write a review on this book, or not. As a young child, I, and my family dealt with repeated suicide attempts from one of my siblings. As a teen I, too, suffered from suicidal ideation. As an adult, I survived 17 years of Lung CA with my spouse, only to lose him, and a year later to see suicide as the only way to stop the pain. My child and my nephew stopped me, by sharing their love for me, at a time when I needed it most!!! They had no idea. Over the course of my life, suicidal ideation has plagued me multiple times. I thank Gid that He always sends me “a ram in the bush!” As a teenager, I was blessed with friends and family who spent numerous hours supporting me and helping me to see a future. As an adult, therapy, and occasionally, meditation has been helpful. I was saddened to see so many people give negative reviews to this book, based on the author’s tendency to name drop, and see her life as generally perfect. I enjoyed the fact that the author had so much support. While, not as financially well off as the author, I see my life as near perfect, compared to others. Even with the mental health and medical issues I’ve faced. As a young Mom, I had a very close friend, who had talked me out of suicide, jump into a local creek, and end her life, leaving a toddler son and a husband. I’ve since lost other loved ones to suicide. The worst being a brother in law who hanged himself, after divorcing my sister and havisome other family problems, and my son’s first college roommate, who was like a son, who drove his car into a lake, and refused to allow those who saw him in time to save him, to help him! All of these have left indelible impacts on mine and my children’s lives. Especially my son’s, who is a lot like me. This book helped me to understand a lot of what we’ve experienced and continue to experience. I’d recommend it to anyone considering suicide, or whose life has been touched by suicide. I’m thankful to the author for her openness and honesty.

[Richard Propes · Rating 4 out of 5]

My friends were a little concerned when I began reading Dr. Jennifer Ashton's book "Life After Suicide" not long before doing an annual awareness event I do around the subject of violence prevention that I had recently announced to be my final event after 30 years.

Truthfully, I found it strangely comforting to read a book on a subject that largely initiated my event 30 years ago...the suicide of my wife and subsequent death of our newborn daughter.

I didn't finish "Life After Suicide" until the day after my event, a day that marked having ridden 190 by wheelchair in 4 days on behalf of homicide victims. I was tired, emotional, and yet ready to immerse myself in similarly difficult emotions and authentic grief.

It was almost inevitable that "Life After Suicide" would get its share of haters, some with legit concerns and others intimidated by Ashton's unique literary voice.

My rule of activism? If you're not getting some hate, then you're probably not taking the risks necessary to be a true activist.

"Life After Suicide" is one more tool in the toolbox for survivors of suicide, a book that will speak to many survivors and yet will feel a little too "privileged" for other survivors. Ashton continues to fight for "optimism," a personal recognition that the wonderful things in her life are what will define her rather than this one single tragedy in a life that has been otherwise pretty darn close to everything she wanted it to be.

I found the first half of "Life After Suicide," in particular, to be brimming with authenticity and honesty and little tidbits that were of immense value for survivors of suicide. Ashton writes with great detail, detail that may grow tiresome for those who've never experienced the death by suicide of a loved one but detail that will resonate for those who've experienced it because it so precisely documents the experiences, triggers, and intimate aspects of dealing with surviving suicide.

While the majority of "Life After Suicide" is centered around the experience of Ashton and her family/friends, she weaves into the fabric of her book the experiences of others she's encountered along the way. As a survivor of suicide myself, I can affirm that once you open yourself up to healing you begin to encounter a wider, informal and formal community of sorts of people who've had similar experiences.

It seemed like the branching out into additional testimonies may have been an attempt more richly humanize the book given that Ashton's own life experiences are clearly different from that of your ordinary average joe. I'm not sure the effort is entirely successful. While certain of the stories are beneficial, there are times they are so "factual" that they sort of sabotage the book's overall tone. Rather than broadening the perspective, at times they reinforce that Ashton's writing is from a more "privileged" perspective.

While there's privilege in Ashton's writing, I think Ashton does a pretty good job of stressing that suicide impacts people across all works of life. She can't, at least not with any honesty, change her perspective. She lives a life many of us don't live as a Chief Medical Correspondent for Good Morning America and ABC and also as a physician. While she projects herself as someone who "needs" to work financially, there's little denying that Ashton's life won't be identifiable for many reading "Life After Suicide." That doesn't change the value of Ashton's story and it doesn't change this material. If anything, I think there are times it enhances it.

I do think there are times Ashton could have enhanced her material by broadening the perspective of her advice. For example, it's wonderful to recommend therapy/counseling following suicide, but Ashton can easily afford it and can obviously afford a therapist who will respond after hours. That's not the experience of more working class Americans, for whom affordable mental health support is rare and at times non-existent. Your average mental health center therapist will most certainly NOT be accessible after hours, while several of the coping skills here, like "Soulcycle," are about as privileged as you can get and certainly not accessible to everyone. While it's wonderful Ashton had these and they are viable options for certain people, I think "Life After Suicide" would have been more effective had it taken care to consciously provide options for low and middle-income Americans.

Overall, however, I still believe "Life After Suicide" to be a valuable, well written, authentic, and important tool for the toolbox for those who experience suicide. I'd consider it a good but not great book, a book written from a certain perspective by a writer whose life has shifted as a result of her own experience with surviving suicide. I don't believe a 1-star review of this book is in anyway appropriate - there's simply too much valuable information here. However, I certainly agree with opinions that at times it's obvious that Ashton writes from perspective and, maybe more obviously, she writes with her walls still up and her defenses still high from past experience with the "haters." On a personal note, as someone who regularly speaks out about my own life experiences there's simply no question the "haters" are very real. After a while, you simply learn to ignore them and move forward.

So, Bravo to Dr. Ashton for writing a difficult but important book. While her own life experiences may not resemble my own, our experiences with loss, grief, and everything that follows are similar and I found myself occasionally tearful, frequently moved, and occasionally getting ideas from "Life After Suicide."

[Wendy Venza · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven’t personally been affected by a loved ones suicide. I do however deal with hospice patients and this book has really opened my eyes and heart. I’ve written down quotes from this book that really touched me and expect to use them many times. I started crying when I got to the chapter about the suicides of children, and I didn’t stop until the end of the book. Although this book is marketed as a self help survivors guide it’s read more as a biography of this accomplished woman. Some of Dr. Ashton’s commentaries may be hard to relate to for some readers but who better to help survivors than a warrior like her. Overall this is a great resource and I truly appreciate the sharing of so many stories. I believe it is a must read if you end up finding yourself in this group that you have no choice of joining. We can’t imagine the pain someone who loves us must be in to resort to something that will change their survivors lives forever. I hope this book brings attention to how survivors blame themselves even though they have ZERO control over their loved one’s choice. The stigma of suicide has to stop. We have to learn that there may not be signs, and being enough may never be enough.

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked the first half, but the second half got repetitive. Her personal narrative was compelling initially but quickly became a little too detailed (and less interesting). I thought the book did a good job of differentiating death versus the stigma of suicide. There was some great practical advice and many heartwarming points:

—Lawrenceville‘s student one group called friends helping friends, made up of students who been through the death of a parent
—would you like me to go with you v I will take you
—it’s normal not to feel normal
—so many people watch everything they put in their mouths and work out Sox times a week, but they make no effort at all to tend to their mental health
—“Cut the crap” (don’t swear the small stuff)
—There will be gifts in this (kindnesses shown)
—You must, must, must go to a mental health/grief professional.... your friends have no idea how to handle this.
—Second year is harder: Numbness wears off and most of the busyness is over with

[Michaela · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think without the epilogue the book would have been much better. We spend the entire book being told that, as survivors of suicide loss, we are all just the same. Dr. Ashton stresses that she is just like us. But, in those final five or so pages, she decides to delve into her family’s Ivy League history and recount the story of her daughter getting into Harvard. Chloe took her suicide tragedy and used it to fuel her into getting into one of the world’s top institutions. I understand what she is trying to say, but I feel like the blatant disregard of how not all of us are children or celebrities, had the affluence and privilege to attend private high schools, etc. was a little out of touch. We are all share the fact that we have all experienced suicide loss, but that doesn’t cross out all of the other factors that may make us more or less ahead of the game.

[Ahemx · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book's audience: wealthy, successful, attractive, plenty of supportive friends and family, type A personality
Just nothing I could connect to, the only financial struggles she spoke of were her daughter's boarding school.
This lady is close friends with Dr. Oz's family, so this book is riddled with pseudo science. She even brings up a friend communicating with her dead husband. It is well written and if you fit her target audience you will get allot of positivity that will be helpful.
For the rest of us non-superwoman types, pretty annoying read.

[Kristi Navarre · Rating 4 out of 5]

I cried so much! Good message. I love the open conversation about suicide, and the openness of the reality of the impact on suicide survivors. Jennifer Ashton doesn't glorify suicide (like 13 Reasons Why, for instance) but instead discusses it from every angle, with compassion and love. A great read, if you can handle it. It's heavy, and if you are very sensitive to painful suicide stories, you may want to pass. If you CAN handle it, grab the tissues. You'll need them.

[Lisa Dreesman · Rating 5 out of 5]

She gets it. And that's the highest compliment I can give.

[Cheryl Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book came at a time of loss for my sister. A dear friend of her and her husband's committed suicide just as I was about halfway through reading this book. Life After Suicide has many examples of how survivors can cope and move on after the suicide of a loved one.

[Kate · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dnf in first chapter. My brother is dead, lady I could not possibly care less abt how many times you were elected class president in medical school, or how you maintained your workout routine while raising kids. Kindly lick my [redacted].

[Kate · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have an incredibly hard time rating a book about the loss of a loved one due to suicide a one star but....it is what it is. I'm not going to say this lightly, but this book reeks of privilege. I get it, she's a doctor and she makes a lot of money so it's expected that her experiences are going to differ from the average person who picks up this book. The writing is just done so....gloaty? that it becomes less about suicide and loss, and more about name drops, wealth and the importance of this woman and her family.

I lost my father to suicide and it is the sole reason I picked this book up at my local library. I've never heard of the author, nor have I seen her on television. I instantly started to hate the book when the author describes the whole "relocation" process she and her children partake in. After losing her ex-husband, her and her children want to relocate to a different apartment. Makes sense as there's a lot of trauma and shared memories in her current location.

Now, this should be a simple cut and paste situation but this is where the whole 'I am better than you' vibe comes in. Most authors would describe the situation something along the lines of, "we wanted to relocate to a fresh home because there were way too many memories to bear in our current place so we did just that". It isn't like that all in this book, and while obviously these aren't direct quotes, this is the way I interpreted this specific situation. She goes on to explain how she calls her personal real estate agent to find a location for them, and obviously time nor money is an issue; she's sure to remind you of this more than once. Obviously a place is found pretty instantly as you can imagine. Her family and friends are abundant and there are no huge struggles because at every turn, there's a person there doing everything for her or assisting her! Her mom even lives in the luxurious building below her and is helping too! Basically, there's no real...real life struggle. She goes on to another example of gloat when they go on a trip to Jamaica to mourn their recent loss....a luxury getaway; totally relatable.

When she isn't shoving her vast wealth down your throat, she is sure to remind you how wonderful her wonderful children are, and how they are wonderfully active and happily happy even though they lost their father. Did you know how wonderful her children and life is? Well, she'll be sure to let you know and....ya I'm not continuing this narrative. She is so self-absorbed and self-righteous.

Like previously mentioned, this book is supposed to be about the loss of a loved one to suicide and building a life moving on from that loss. A journey of struggles and the vast grief process. But the grief process and matter of suicide seem to take a back seat to her self-important views, her lovely family and how wonderful her famous friends are.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful and Heartbreaking. I was drawn in by the raw honesty of the author. This book moved me. The stigma of mental illness is a real thing. And it needs to end. People need to know that they can and should seek help. Thank you Jennifer Ashton for showing us all courage by sharing your story. I am so grateful to you for sharing this unimaginable loss and finding strength in truly dark times. You are a remarkable person.

[Danita White · Rating 5 out of 5]

10 stars go out to this book!!

A lot of people don't have the courage not only just to talk about suicide but about death in general. I was very surprised by the fact this is not only about Dr. Ashton's story but the story of so many others. This book was so well written and she effortlessly tied the stories of how people try to make it everyday through life while still having to go through the grieving process.

"Life is about not avoiding pain. Life is about experiencing pain, processing it, learning from it, and living through it." These words are so true!!

This book is a must read!

[Pug · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quarter of the way in, and I'm already finding things to be annoyed with: self-absorption (you're a doctor, I haven't forgotten that since the last time you mentioned it), name-dropping celebrities like Dr. Oz (if you truly are friends with him, just use his first name), and being so hippie-dippy that it's hard to believe she's a renowned doctor.

My biggest beef...
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be hurtful, but again and again I was angry with just how selfish his suicide was. No clue why he killed himself, but he left behind two teenagers (his own kids!) who would FOREVER be messed up over this.

Many times over, the author said something along the lines of "But would Rob really have wanted to leave our children and me a legacy of misery for the rest of our lives? Of course not." But isn't that EXACTLY what he did??? Didn't he know it would destroy his own kids? Become something that they would hold onto for the rest of their lives. That it created serious emotional scars. (Fear of abandonment comes to mind.)

And lady, FYI - those things are COINCIDENCES! And/or things that you're now actively noticing. The deceased ex is not sending you signs from beyond. Besides, why would he bother to do that, if he couldn't be "bothered" to be there in person??

[Anne Scott · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author would have garnered better reviews and helped more people had she not been so self absorbed and focused so much in the first two chapters about her own self importance. For someone to seriously refer to themself as Wonder Woman in reference to their type A personality before they tell you about their suffering tends to make them less sympathetic. There were very few practical tools in this book but the stories of other people were helpful. She also calls herself and her children suicide survivors which is incorrect. They are suicide loss survivors. People who attempt suicide and live are suicide survivors. It seems technical and silly but if she is going to be a spokesperson, she needs to get it right.

[Lisa Thibault · Rating 3 out of 5]

Being a suicide loss survivor myself, I hate to judge but I’ve found other books more helpful. The term “suicide survivors” she uses is technically incorrect; those who are left behind are referred to as “suicide loss survivors”. And the entitlement was off putting, especially the last chapter. Not all loss survivors have a financially supportive lifestyle. I would have liked to hear more of her stories rather than supplemental anecdotes from others that I could get elsewhere (ie Carly Fine). This book was ok but I’ve read others (Albert Hsu for one) that have supported me more on my journey.

[Claire · Rating 2 out of 5]

This didn't really resonate with me because...I'm not a rich overachiever who's besties with Dr. Oz... But more seriously, I was pretty turned off by the more spiritual moments (angel numbers, "signs," and the deceased "watching" and getting involved with the lives of the living in any way.) I wasn't expecting that from a doctor. But I'm probably just cranky about this because my friend died and I thought this could help and it didn't. That's probably a grief problem more than a writing problem.