Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace

by Christine Porath, Coleen Marlo (Narrator)

From the leading authority on workplace incivility, Christine Porath, shows why it pays to be civil, and reveals just how to enhance effectiveness in the workplace and beyond by mastering civility.
Incivility is silently chipping away at people, organizations, and our economy. Slights, insensitivities, and rude behaviors can cut deeply and hijack focus. Even if people want to perform well, they can't. Ultimately incivility cuts the bottom line.
In MASTERING CIVILITY, Christine Porath shows how people can enhance their influence and effectiveness with civility. Combining scientific research with fascinating evidence from popular culture and fields such as neuroscience, medicine, and psychology, this book provides managers and employers with a much-needed wake-up call, while also reminding them of what they can do right now to improve the quality of their workplaces.

Genres: Nonfiction, Business, Leadership, Personal Development, Professional Development, Audiobook, Self Help

Audiobook

First published January 1, 2016

Reviews

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think we've all, at one time or another, worked with one of "those" people- the ones who are rude, who take all the credit, who won't look up from their phones during meetings, send an email when they should call, or make you do work that they find boring or unimportant. Before I read Mastering Civility, I assumed that this was behavior I had to endure until the perpetrator got another job or experienced a spontaneous personality overhaul. Christine Porath asserts that tolerating incivility in the workplace is a bad idea because it spreads like a virus. Once rudeness or intolerance enters the scene, it effects everyone it touches and can sink the ship causing everything from profit loss to poor job performance. Throughout the book, Porath teaches the reader how to recognize incivility in oneself, how to assist coworkers in reforming poor behavior, and how to end working relationships with employees who either can't or won't toe the line. Sounding a clarion call for employers and employees alike, Porath rallies readers everywhere to join her in making the workplace civil again.

"Incivility usually arises not from malice but from ignorance. I started my research thinking that jerks out there were intentionally ruining workplaces; I now see that most bad behavior reflects a lack of self-awareness. We don't want to hurt others, but we do." pg 12. Until I read this book, I thought that too.

"...incivility has a way of pulling people off track and preventing them from doing their best. I've found this to be true in every study I've conducted. Even witnesses working around incivility take a hit." pg 24. I thought that was especially chilling because Porath ran a bunch of studies. "Many people think of rudeness as a self-contained experience, limited to one person or interaction. In truth, incivility is a virus that spreads, making the lives of everyone exposed to it more difficult. ... Left unchecked, incivility can drag down an entire organization, making everyone less kind, less patient, less energetic, less fun- simply less." pg 39. Ewww, you got your incivility all over my desk.

Those are the don'ts. Here are a few do's: "If you want to connect with your employee or team, lead with warmth. Most of us are in a hurry to prove our competence, but warmth contributes significantly more to other's evaluations. .. It facilitates trust, information, and idea sharing." pg 71 "... the single biggest complaint I hear from employees about their bosses is that they fail to tune in. Do yourself and others a favor: When you speak or meet with someone, put away your smartphone. Make others the priority." pg 114. Amen.

I laughed when Porath suggested eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep to help foster a civil atmosphere in the workplace. Common sense stuff, yes, but how many of us have lashed out because we're "hangry"? Change starts with you so: eat breakfast, people.

Recommended for people experiencing or who have experienced incivility in the workplace. Porath gives you some concrete methods to turn it all around. Some further business related reading that I've enjoyed: Do the Work, The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work and The Art of Exceptional Living.

[Audrey Laurey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read a lot of self help books that provide information and tactics for success in the workplace, and regardless of where you work, you will run in to conflict. I found this book beneficial, and reflective of a lot of the lessons I've learned over the past 8 years when working in a professional environment. This was a good refresher on dealing with hostile and self important/oblivious colleagues. I would recommend this book to individuals just starting out in their professional careers, and others who want to strengthen communication skills and do better.

[Lilian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you even been accused of being overly blunt, rude or condescending a lá House M.D. ? Then this might just be the book for you...Simply put, Christine Porath's Mastering Civility examines how being civil in the workplace can drive better personal and organisational performance. She argues the incivility is driven by a number of factors including globalisation and technology but ignorance is at the crux of the matter.

Full review available on Kerry' Blog

[Reza Amiri Praramadhan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Back in our younger years, both our parents and school taught us to be polite to other people, yet somehow in many case the value of civility is gone as we grow older, with workplace atmospheres becoming toxic because of people being rude to each other. In this book, the author discusses the profits of being nice to each other, with steps and advices that are so painfully simple and ordinary, solutions that only need your own will to implement them. Solutions that made you furious that the author was actually making money from. After all, she worked as a consultant of civility, a solid proof you can make money from practically anything. It is a good thing I bought this book on cheap.

[Erica · Rating 2 out of 5]

There is some good stuff in this book, and some evidence-based findings with practical applications. But the author gets sidetracked into topics that seem peripheral - is customer service the same thing as civility at work? And some of her contentions, checklists, etc. seem to be culturally biased and just plain made up. Also do we need to know that much about Chick-Fil-a ? And her less than one sentence brush-off of the 'problematic' aspects of that company is upsetting. If a white paper on workplace civility was distilled from this book it would be pretty good and about 15 pages long.

[Garrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Extremely useful; not much by way of a riveting read, but a massively instructional treatise on what exactly it says on the tin. Being civil as a way of employing a number of qualities which I often find difficult or lack entirely, but also by using simple tools to buoy others and build people up instead of keeping them down. I'm going to end up using this book on the regular as a manager and supervisor, and may end up purchasing a copy for frequent use.

[Ginget Poulton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this for work
Easy read
Maybe a bit elementary and repetitive
Also had good content

[Nichole · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s a good book if you’ve never read anything else on the subject. I feel like it didn’t have much in the way of new information.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the researched based arguments, especially those concerning the broad impact of incivility. The chapters on measuring and managing levels of incivility were also interesting and provide a handful of useful insights. Several sections of the book discussed issues that are common sense to most, but the research brought a vantage point that kept it intriguing enough. The greatest weakness of the book is that it likely will not be read by those who need to read it most.

[Sheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great reference book to guide development of a positive work environment. Quick read.

[Maggie BB · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mastering civility is something I have struggled with in the work place, so I was excited to hear about this book. It did not disappoint. Some very practical advice, and not to heavy handed with the conceptual. Interesting studies and examples.

I will definitely revisit this one as I continue to try to be more civil at work.

[Donn Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a surprisingly good book. Having read a few other reviews, many of those who rated this book quite low tended to be those who thought that the things discussed were "common sense" and that "everybody knows about". True. But so is healthful eating and climate change, and yet we still need reminders.

Being civil is something we should do, and in an ideal world we don't need people to tell us that. However, being in the workforce for a decade has taught me that it's not uncommon for people to be uncivil, even those who have risen to positions of power. For those working under a less-than-civil boss or who work in a company with a less-than-civil culture, being uncivil may seem like the only way to "do well".

Christine Porath doesn't argue that incivility prevents one from rising to positions of power, but rather provides an alternative framework to think about civility: that success doesn't depend on civility, but that being successful while also being civil is better than being successful and being uncivil.

Overall the book is a great read for anyone who works with others (i.e. everyone), and I think especially suitable for those who may be starting out in their careers as they build habits and thought processes around civility. "Yes," I'd like them to think, "we can be civil and still succeed in our careers." We need more people like this.

As an aside: one thing about this book is that it quotes studies done that provide evidence of how "being civil" can lead to better outcomes. Which should have been good, and in most part is. The overall feeling I got from many of these, however, was that "scientific wool" may have been sometimes pulled over the reader's eyes, as many of them appeared anecdotal. Still, not enough for me to lower it by a star.

[Don · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading a lot on civility, not only in the workplace and our current news/political climate, but also as it relates to diversity and inclusion. I was recently told by a large city diversity officer (not where I live) that teaching civility and civil behavior is not part of their training and she didn't think it was important or necessary to include. I quickly realized I had nothing to learn from her and left. Thus my quest.

[Vovka · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bit all over the map and uneven, but overall offers good advice for fostering civility in the workplace. I wish it had either been shorter and more focused, or broader and more comprehensive. As it stands right now, it's missing all kinds of content (e.g., sexism, racism, bigotry, and other forms of incivility aren't even addressed), and it doesn't do a good job coaching people through determining what's merely "incivil" vs. potentially legally problematic or threatening to one's mental health. There's a real lack of rigor and research that makes this feel too lightweight for such a serious topic.

[Terry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not usually drawn to books of a prescriptive nature, but in these less than normally civil times, the title caught my attention. Yes, its subtitle does state "for the Workplace," but I thought there might be useful tips for coping with the wider world of politics and government. Just saying "Please" and "Thank you" are probably not going to be adequate, but keeping an attitude of civility in our communications, in our forays into social media, etc, may have a larger payoff than we can see immediately.

[Em · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting, but didn't love the fairly blanket use of 'him.'

[Amelia · Rating 3 out of 5]

“When you’re exposed to hostility or aggression, you behave differently. Incivility sneaks into your subconscious. It’s easy to see how plagues of incivility can take shape and spread.”

I came across a Christine Porath article thanks to my colleague at the library. Immediately, I knew I wanted to read her work, as she's studied rudeness and incivility when it comes to employees, whether it be from fellow peers, bosses, or customers. And, considering I'd just had possibly the worst experience with a customer at the cafe I work at, I knew I needed to read everything she offered on the topic. Just why in the world do people act so horribly?

I appreciated the ways in which Porath describes how incivility causes incivility. We get upset at being the recipient of or even viewing rude behavior--and as such, our amygdala goes off and we see rude injustices at a much higher rate than before (a fun example, by the way, through the study in which test subjects were asked to unscramble these letters to make a word: urdeme. If test subjects had a rude experience prior to taking this test, they saw more often the word murder rather than what the letters actually spelled--demure). I definitely agree with this research from extremely recent first-hand experience, but it was nice to see that there was actually research to back up how I felt.

She also discusses common causes of rude interactions within workplaces. Some of which can be chalked up to burn-out (which increases irritability and frustration) and some can be chalked up to ignorance regarding cultural differences. However, there were two examples in her book that quite stood out to me.

One such example is about a male doctor who worked with a largely female staff. It wasn't until a review that he discovered that his nurses, secretaries, and PCAs disliked how he spoke to them--he spoke to them directly, brusquely, and teetering on belittlement. Apparently, this doctor had been trained by his mentors to act in such a way, as was more traditional at the time. But did he really need a review to understand the ways in which nurses on his floor reacted? I found this to be more indicative not of ignorance, but of male behavior, lack of self-awareness, and poor judgement. I've hardly ever come across a woman who wasn't aware, at least to some extent, how she comes across to others, whether they be above, below, or lateral on the workplace ladder.

Another example was about preventing rudeness before it began. Porath cites a personal anecdote in which she remembers a TSA agent who smiles, talks nicely, and is effective and compassionate in her job. Even disgruntled folks about to take a flight have their frowns turned upside-down after being in her line. And, according to Porath, it's because this TSA agent took the care to be pro-active and act on a stressful situation (TSA lines) in a positive way (smiling and compassion). This directly contrasted to me from the prior example with the doctor. The male doctor is rude and needed to be told he was acting poorly. The female TSA agent is happy and prevents frustration before it begins with good cheer. One seems to be inherently rude with zero self-awareness. The other is constantly aware of others and thus manages her outward emotions.

Many other examples in this book that showed rude interactions seemed to come from men. And the other examples that showed how a calm and happy demeanor can prevent rudeness were about women. I wonder, then, how much incivility comes from men? And how much of that incivility is then directed towards women?

Another example is about male colleagues telling their female colleagues that they were allowed to go home and not stay late for a meeting so that they could take care of their families and cook dinner. The female employees obviously felt slighted, and when brought up to the male employees, the male employees explained that they thought they were doing the women a kindness by letting them get to their other priorities (without, of course, knowing whether they had children/husbands/was their turn to cook dinner/etc) and the women were able to explain that they were at work to do...work. Porath cites this example as one of ignorance. I cite it as one of misogyny. I cite the doctor as misogyny. And I'm willing to bet that most rude interactions in the TSA line come from men.

But, I do also recognize that this book isn't one about incivility between the sexes. I also recognize that this book summarizes research and it is entirely possible that the sexed aspect of incivility is discussed in the primary sources. But I also think that while burn-out, stress, and ignorance cause unintentional incivility, entitlement and misogyny/racism cause intentional incivility.

Still, this book was written in a way that flows well, and I understand all of her points. Clearly, this is a thought-provoking book. I'm excited to read more of her work.

[Deana · Rating 4 out of 5]

All of us have been in situations where we've witnessed someone treating another person uncivilly; maybe the customer in front of us yelling at the grocery clerk over a wrongly scanned item. We all know that uncomfortable feeling of watching and trying to decide if it has reached a threshold worth stepping in. Most of us are pretty good at telling ourselves that, "he's probably just having a bad day" and we think we move on with our lives, but research referenced in this book shows that it has subtle effects on our behavior and treatment of others for the rest of the day unless we take very purposeful steps to be aware of these effects.

And that effect happens just from witnessing someone being uncivil, even when we're not directly involved. You can imagine the effect is multiplied when you are the person who is being treated uncivilly. And even more so when the incivility is experienced or witnessed daily, or multiple times a day, as is becoming more and more common in today's work environments.

One of the main messages of this book is that incivility is contagious. Each time we witness or experience such behavior we subtly and unconsciously alter our own and are more likely to be distracted and complete tasks incorrectly, or worse, treat others uncivilly ourselves, causing the effect to propagate and over time we end up with a workplace full of less effective, uncivil employees. Part of this is a fine line between the current trend of being honest and candid with coworkers and being blunt or rude to them. It is possible to be honest, and even provide negative feedback, without being uncivil.

The first chapter somewhat annoyed me because she seemed to be telling me a bunch of things I already knew and I wasn't confident from the way it was written that there would ever be any "here's how you fix it". Of course, the book really only focuses on how to work on your own behavior, and how better to protect yourself from the effects of others incivility, because, well... we can only control ourselves. While you can suggest your coworkers read this book, you can't make them (and really, do you think THAT a**hole will do it?).

At the managerial level, she highly recommends just firing people who are repeatedly uncivil because no matter how good their job performance is, they will poison your team and drag everyone else down, which lowers the overall performance of the group. Unfortunately, since I work for the government, we do not have such options... it's incredibly difficult to get rid of anyone. So you have to fall back to the advice for non-managers, which is basically to avoid those people whenever possible. Practice the self-help aspects as much as possible to protect yourself from the effects on your performance and from spreading the incivility to others. And if that isn't enough and you feel yourself burning out or your fuse is getting shorter, leave the organization if you and move somewhere with a better culture.

Why did I choose it? This book was chosen by new leadership at work as the first (and maybe so far only? I haven't seen others, anyway) organizational "book club" read for our organization. It was an interesting choice to me, because the new Chief had been part of the old regime, which was known for being... a bunch of a**holes. So I thought, well, maybe this person is turning a new leaf. Or wants us to know (or at least ... retain optimism) that that the leadership change will also bring a change here. They claimed they wanted to start a formal "Civility Campaign". Now, six months later, I can certainly say they didn't do that... yet? I haven't heard all the negative comments I used to hear in quite some time. That said, I haven't heard positive ones either, or like "wow! it's so much nicer working with these folks than the last ones!" - it may just be that this group just isn't as active at our levels as the previous one was... civilly or otherwise.

Regardless, I do recommend this book. It was an interesting look at civility in the workplace and I could see myself and my coworkers at various points in the anecdotes. It seems like one of those books everyone should read once a year and refresh themselves on the behaviors and details.

[Ryan Berardi · Rating 4 out of 5]

It isn’t shocking to hear that civil work environments are more enjoyable for employees, customers, and lead to better business outcomes. With that said, if you are like me you’ve worked around others (maybe some new to work…perhaps others with more years under their belt) who have implied that fear, watching someone get belittled in close proximity, or having to “fight each day for your job” causes one to “toughen up” and get “real business done.” In full transparency…if are you like me - you might look back on some of your interactions at your busiest (read, “least thoughtful”) and realize you may be one of those "others" at times. As normal..I’m preaching to myself here more than anyone.

Christine Porath, author of “Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace” has spent a great deal of time looking at empirical data from organizations around the world, of all shapes and sizes. Her data illuminates the conclusion that those leading, or working with others, knowingly using incivility - can’t intelligently stand behind the argument of “this is the way you get results.”

*A Medical Case Study on Rudeness and Performance

39 NICU Teams participated in a training with simulations focused on preterm newborns with sudden emergencies. Those teams exposed to direct and/or indirect rudeness and incivility had remarkably worse planning (diagnostic decisions) and “in the moment” collaborative results. In scenarios of incivility, employees’ focus on self-preservation kicked in…reducing information sharing, creativity, and selflessness for the good of the groups’ goals.
Our best teams are focused on “the swing” more than “the shot”…they are ready to be nimble when the unexpected occurs. Managers who find themselves in crisis and respond by adding threats, passive aggressive behavior, or insults to “spur them on” are sabotaging themselves in the short term (possible), long term (extremely likely), or both.

*Our Brains Can’t Evaluate Our Own Tone of Voice Well

Studies suggest that our tone accounts for about 30% of the meaning of that which we communicate.
By 4 months old our superior temporal sulcus (STS) sorts auditory information…by 7 months we can start to use it to sort tone of voice into meaning. Unfortunately for us, Porath notes that when we speak - the STS "turns off." Though we can hear our own voice, we can’t evaluate it with the same level of scrutiny to tone that we’ve developed when we are not speaking.
This underscores the reason to check in with colleagues, and with direct reports (if you are a leader) to elicit feedback about not just what you say, but the inflection you are using.

*Dealing with Incivility When There is a Power Imbalance

It is not lost on me that incivility coming from those in our most senior positions (who we hope would be the role models of effective business behavior) wield power over career advancement and the immediate ability to provide for oneself and dependents. While well intentioned, phrases such as “that is just the way they are” and “try to keep it in perspective” don’t address the fact that many individuals are torn between taking a massive risk of speaking up with a potential career consequence or doing nothing and perhaps feeling trapped. Our serotonin transporter gene (5HTT) regulates arousal, mood, sleep, cognition…and often dictates how we respond to threats, humiliation, loss, and defeat (all common with incivility). This gene behaves differently in all of us.

I would need another full post to talk about potential next career steps, however, let’s go down the road of, “I’ll need to keep working with this person…now what?” Practically speaking, you have a better chance of fighting for your future than trying to fight to change the experience you just had in your past. The author suggests that future interactions take place with behavior guided by the acronym BIFF. Be brief, be informative, be friendly, and be firm. Lastly, she emphasizes the importance of ensuring you are setting goals (big or small…personal or professional) and finding ways to thrive. Those focused on thriving reported a decrease of performance that was 34% less (after an incident of incivility) than those who continued to focus on, and replay, the incivility of the past.

This book served as a great reminder to me that there is no level of stress that gives me permission to dig at the dignity of others. And when I inevitably fail…when I’m at my worst - it is not only ethically appropriate, but advantageous in a business sense, to right that wrong as swiftly and authentically as possible.

[Stephen James Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

In Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace, Christine Porath proposes that civility at work empowers both employers and employees to maximize their influence, effectiveness, and profitability. Porath offers evidence based conclusions and practical counsel for mastering civility in the workplace, encouraging managers and newly hired professionals alike to help foster an atmosphere of kindness, respect, and integrity.

Porath's book reads like a lengthy though entertaining persuasive essay, almost as if civility is the product she sells and she hopes we will buy. One wonder if the persuasive approach is the most sensible, as readers of this quick read will likely already be advocates of civility. There are not many horrible bosses reading self help books to improve their leadership qualities; the rest of us already agree with her. On the other hand, Porath may have to make an argument for civility when much of Western culture encourages "looking out for number one," a philosophy that leads to many discontented employees. If the chief aim of Mastering Civility is to convince us that civility matters, Porath is certainly successful.

For those readers who have bought the civility argument prior to reading this book, they will find many relevant citations and anecdotes to bolster their cases for courtesy at the workplace. Perhaps the greatest asset of the text is its bibliography, where a wealth of sources exist for further exploration. One of Mastering Civility's weaknesses is that it reads like an extended literature review more so than an author presenting novel material. When a book is structured in such a way, it feels exhaustively repetitive.

I anxiously awaited the final section of the book, " Lift Yourself: Handling Incivility if You're the Target." I anticipated pearls of wisdom, but mostly found popular self improvement techniques that provided little more than meme style advice on how to feel better despite one's circumstances (sleep, improve communication skills, exercise, etc.). Porath's research suggests that circumstances make up only 10% of a person's contentedness, but that factoid does little to help others trapped in workplaces that strangle their motivation and self worth. We shouldn't kick a dog when it's down.

The sense I get, if one can truly glean an author's unspoken intent, is that Mastering Civility is Porath's sales pitch for her consulting position. This approach explains the persuasive structure, the excessive number of citations, and the number of corporate anecdotes found sprinkled throughout the book. The book's weaknesses, though, are also its strengths. The anecdotes capture attention, the sources support her claims, and Porath's thesis is indeed persuasive. I rarely recommend to skim a book but this book may be better enjoyed breezed through than intently read, though do not overlook the footnotes if this is a topic that deeply interests you.

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

In her book, Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace, Christine Porath discusses the importance of civil behavior in the workplace and how opposite behavior, incivility, can be devastating to organizations and careers. Behavior such as taking credit for the ideas of others, mocking or teasing in a way that stings, reminding others of their lower status in the organization, assigning blame, eyeball rolling, interrupting, using jargon especially when it excludes others and pointing out the shortcomings or previous failures of others in a public setting are all examples of incivility. Porath contends that incivility has reached epic proportions. Effective leaders must behave in a civil manner and they have the responsibility to improve the level of civility in the workplace. She further believes that employees are more engaged and committed to their employers when civil behavior is displayed routinely and incivility is addressed quickly. Porath divided the book into four parts, 1) the high costs of incivility and potential gains of civility, 2) assessment and awareness of one’s own behavior, 3) setting an example of civil behavior for your organization, and 4) how to deal with incivility of others. The book is geared toward a general audience at a high school reading level. It is short yet jam-packed, easy-to-read and aimed at time-pressured leaders looking for direct application of concepts. Finally, it is universal to all industries, sectors, and cultures. I highly recommend it!

[Riegs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly practical and readable. I sometimes hate on "business-y" self help books like this, because it feels like we're being told something we already know, and upper management types just joined the party to be trendy. So dynamic! Idea so transformative! Thankfully, Mastering Civility wasn't on that train.

Mental health is more than a trend, you guys. (FYI, my primary industry is education. Don't get me started on that "Growth Mindset" BS.) There are serious economic gains to be made by treating people civilly. In fact, I'm going to start pushing books like this on people. Maybe if we keep making it cool to be civil, we'll actually start striving for work-life balance as a society - which has serious economic impact.

1. Employees are significantly more productive when they don't feel like shit. Imagine that! Mental health matters, y'all. I really liked the case studies Porath included to demonstrate this, like Riot Games' player standards in League of Legends.

2. Lack of productivity = $$$$$$ lost. If the mental health/feelings argument doesn't sway certain types of people, then use this point. We all have to start saying to toxic coworkers: "Why do you treat colleagues like that? Do you not like money?" Maybe that will work.

[Janka H. · Rating 3 out of 5]

In my opinion this book should go much deeper. This book goes with the trend in self-dev books I call "one subject rules all" - here, the subject being civility. I think with approach to trying to cover all the fasets of all things civility it is easy to fall into the temptation of scratching only the surface with the questions of "why" (things are the way they are) and "how" (to change them) et cetera.
But if we as a society needs to be more civil, what does that mean? Covers civility also values, honesty, hard work, selflessness, positive thinking, courage to change and more? Fair play, humbleness and manners?

Because all that "civility" covers now has been covered before in various sources from Bible and other spiritual texts through many philosophers' works to what your mother had to say about your behaviour in kindergarten.

Civility is also such an non-offensive term, which can harm no one, right? Yes, and its non-offensiveness also means no burning, provoking discussions and no creativity.

The book offers some good data and quite good resources. Also some tips are quite workable.
But my advice would be to use it as a starter to your thinking process and to go to deeper sources, too.

[Harue Jules · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simple facts like baseball players with broader smiles actually lived seven years longer than their non-smiling counterparts was fascinating.

What scared me most is how nastiness can spread like a bad virus with the slightest of exposures and without the affected person not really being aware of the infection!!! It made me really rethink the way I interact with my teenage twins. I have decided to stop nagging and scolding unless absolutely necessary and let things like bad grades (due to what looks to me like laziness on their parts) and piles of dirty laundry that they do not put in the washing machine themselves go. I have peace and they learn to be responsible at their expense now!

The suggestions on how to cope with uncivil people were the only weak part in the book. Things like good nutrition and sufficient sleep were too generic and lacked persuasive power compared the rest of the contents in the book.

[Zachary Jenkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Our behavior isn't fixed, cast in stone. All of us, no matter how we've behaved in the past, can improve. If we care the least bit about ourselves, our work, and our organizations, we must improve. So start today!" - Christine Porath

Listened to MASTERING CIVILITY: A MANIFESTO FOR THE WORKPLACE over the last week. It's a plea for workers to understand how their interpersonal behavior impacts not only emotional wellbeing, but the productivity and success of their organization. I've been part of toxic workplaces before, heck I've added my fair share of incivility to the office, and I've seen first hand the negative impact of poor behavior.

Porath fills her work with studies about the positive impact of positive behavior as well as the tangible cost of poor behavior. The book functions as a challenge to the work place to shape up are remember that how you do things is just as important as what you do.

[Shalyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was really excited to read this book because it's about etiquette in the workplace and promised to discuss more recent studies of how human behavior affects workplace relationships, promotions, and employee pay. While I expected there to be some discussion of how a lack of workplace civility can hurt working relationships and businesses generally, this book spends way too much time on that topic, so much so that I found myself saying, "yeah, yeah, yeah, I already bought the book - you don't need to sell me on it further!" After the first 50 pages, the author finally left that topic and moved on to more useful information; the interesting parts didn't come until the last half of the book. I'm glad to have read the book, but I can't say I'd recommend it. I would say, if you do read it, definitely skip the first 50 pages.

[J Crossley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Surprisingly, workplace incivility is on the rise, which assaults people’s physical; and psychological health. Rudeness in the workplace affects employees in the sense of disengagement, turnover, and a lack of productivity. Civility makes people feel valued and appreciated. Common courtesies will go a long way to creating a pleasant workplace. The author suggests that a way to defend yourself against workplace incivility is to develop a sense of thriving.

A section that I liked was the Five Forms of Giving. You can help to create a respectful work environment by cultivating a giving mind-set. The five forms of giving are: share resources; share recognition; share gratitude; share feedback; and share purpose.

[Phil · Rating 4 out of 5]

Christine Porath, shows why it pays to be civil, and reveals just how to enhance effectiveness in the workplace and beyond by mastering civility. She asks "what do you want to be?"

Incivility is silently chipping away at people, organizations, and our economy. Slights, insensitivities, and rude behaviors can cut deeply and hijack focus. Even if people want to perform well, they can't. Ultimately incivility cuts the bottom line.

I think this is a great resource for any organization that wants to avoid the escalation from incivility, to disrespect, bullying, harassment, verbal abuse, up to workplace violence. 'Mastering Civility is a roadmap to modeling the kind of workplace we should want.

[Dunori · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 round up. I admit I prejudged this at first. I equated civility with respect and was doubtful respect was very difficult to master, which therefore likely meant a good amount of old news in the book (I was only reading it because it was selected by the head of my book club). In some ways I was correct but the author dives pretty deep into the subject causing me to think over it in beneficial ways I may not have otherwise. Definitely a good selection to recommend to people who not only might have a reputation for being harsh at work, but also those who do not, to help them enhance their civil behavior.

[Greta Samuelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Giving this professional book 5 stars.
Very few books in this category give real, usable advise - Christine Porath does.
I learned a lot about myself reading this and read each section slowly in order to digest and begin using the techniques she writes about before moving onto the next chapter

This book contains a “civility checkup” self assessment and strategies to improve that I found quite enlightening

It is one that I think would be good to go back to after a time and re-read