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Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts: A Healing Guide to the Secret Fears of New Mothers
Over 90 percent of new mothers will have scary, intrusive thoughts about their baby and themselves. What if I drop him? What if I snap and hurt my baby? Mothering is so hard. I don't know if I really want to do this anymore. Gosh, I'm so terrible for thinking that! Yet for too many mothers, those thoughts remain secret, hidden away in shame that make you feel even worse. But here's the good you CAN feel better!
Author Karen Kleiman, coauthor of the seminal book This Isn't What I Expected and founder of the acclaimed Postpartum Stress Center, comes to the aid of new mothers everywhere with a groundbreaking new source of hope, compassion, and expert help. Good Mothers Have Scary Thoughts is packed with world-class guidance, simple exercises, and nearly 50 stigma-busting cartoons from the viral #speakthesecret campaign that help new moms validate their feelings, share their fears, and start feeling better. Lighthearted yet serious, warm yet not sugary, and perfectly portioned for busy moms with full plates, Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts is the go-to resource for moms, partners, and families everywhere who need help with this difficult period.
Author Karen Kleiman, coauthor of the seminal book This Isn't What I Expected and founder of the acclaimed Postpartum Stress Center, comes to the aid of new mothers everywhere with a groundbreaking new source of hope, compassion, and expert help. Good Mothers Have Scary Thoughts is packed with world-class guidance, simple exercises, and nearly 50 stigma-busting cartoons from the viral #speakthesecret campaign that help new moms validate their feelings, share their fears, and start feeling better. Lighthearted yet serious, warm yet not sugary, and perfectly portioned for busy moms with full plates, Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts is the go-to resource for moms, partners, and families everywhere who need help with this difficult period.
160 pages, Hardcover
Published March 1, 2019
149 people are currently reading
2984 people want to read
About the author
Karen Kleiman
22 books88 followersKaren Kleiman is well known as an international expert on postpartum depression. Her work has been featured on the Internet and within the mental health community for decades. In 1988, Karen founded The Postpartum Stress Center, LLC, a treatment and training facility for prenatal and postpartum depression/anxiety disorders where she treats individuals and couples experiencing perinatal mood & anxiety disorders.
Karen has been interviewed for, featured in, and reviewed by local and national TV, magazines, radio shows and health websites. Her national television appearances include Inside Edition, The Oprah Winfrey Show, NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw and The Katie Couric Show. A few popular magazines that have featured her work or interviewed her include: Self Magazine, Fit Pregnancy, Parenting, Working Mother, Star, and Mothering Magazine. Karen is featured as an expert on PsychologyToday.com as a “Best Voice in Psychology” as author of her blog, “This Isn’t What I Expected: Notes on Healing Postpartum Depression”.
Karen has been interviewed for, featured in, and reviewed by local and national TV, magazines, radio shows and health websites. Her national television appearances include Inside Edition, The Oprah Winfrey Show, NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw and The Katie Couric Show. A few popular magazines that have featured her work or interviewed her include: Self Magazine, Fit Pregnancy, Parenting, Working Mother, Star, and Mothering Magazine. Karen is featured as an expert on PsychologyToday.com as a “Best Voice in Psychology” as author of her blog, “This Isn’t What I Expected: Notes on Healing Postpartum Depression”.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 206 reviews
October 28, 2025
This was truly a lovely book.
While I don't have plans to have a baby any time soon, I do still find myself seeking out books like this.
Because...quite frankly, motherhood does scare me but I have a feeling that the more prepared I am, the easier it will be when it finally happens (fingers crossed).
This is one of the first books I read that really delved into the "scary" side of motherhood and didn't just give platitudes (i.e. don't worry! or you'll be fine!).
I liked how this book addressed the scary thoughts without making them seem silly, illogical or false.
And that it acknowledged that everyone has those persistent negative thoughts towards themselves or other and gave a voice to them.
I really love this book and I feel like it's going to be one that I keep for a long, long time.
A huge thank you to Familius for sending this one my way!
May 30, 2019
I am so glad I read this book. Hospitals should be passing it out to all new parents!
February 8, 2019
In an often unrecognized reality where 1 in 7 new moms are affected by mental health issues, Karen Kleiman’s new book, Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts, with powerful, pervasive cartoons illustrated by Molly McIntyre, should be required reading for moms and every single person who associated with them--friends of moms, family members of moms especially her own mom and mother-in-law, pediatricians, OBs, nurses, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc. should be well-versed in the types of scary thoughts a new mom can have as well as how common they are, ensuring that women always have a safe, non-judgmental place to admit how they really feel about a role they were taught to believe comes naturally to all women and should be the most satisfying, joy-filled role of all time.
In her book, Karen covers isolation, comparing, hating your baby, wanting to prolong your 6-month OB check up so you don’t have to get the okay to resume having sex, thoughts of ending your life, rage, partner resentment, thinking that your baby and family would be better off without you, pretending everything is fine to cover up the pain, and so much more to help women realize these thoughts are often a common part of new motherhood and don't make them bad mothers or failures. Maternal mental health taboos have been doing an amazing job hiding out in dark places and Karen Kleiman is fighting to turn and keep the lights on. Her professional, but warm commentary and advice after each picture is like a friend holding your hand reassuring you that what you are feeling is okay and you are not alone.
I remember when I had postpartum depression and anxiety with my son and while I desperately searched for other moms' stories and experiences, and would have read pretty much anything, I was way to exhausted and overwhelmed to read a long, wordy book. Karen has solved this with Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts by using the comic book format. And moms reading this book don’t just get to absorb the words and pictures, but each page has a space to write, color, and document their thoughts to help ground and calm them.
I wish this book came out six years ago when I gave birth to my son but, I’m beyond grateful this book has come out now. It’s unacceptable that only 15% of the 1 in 7 women affected by maternal mental health issues receive treatment. It’s outrageous that suicide is the second largest cause of maternal death. We need to do better. We need to fight harder. We need to do more. We need to reframe self-care. Self-care is not a luxury. Self-care is not indulgent. Self-care is not selfish. It’s essential and necessary. We need to reframe professional-care. We need to reframe how we talk to knew moms. And Karen is helping to do it all.
In her book, Karen covers isolation, comparing, hating your baby, wanting to prolong your 6-month OB check up so you don’t have to get the okay to resume having sex, thoughts of ending your life, rage, partner resentment, thinking that your baby and family would be better off without you, pretending everything is fine to cover up the pain, and so much more to help women realize these thoughts are often a common part of new motherhood and don't make them bad mothers or failures. Maternal mental health taboos have been doing an amazing job hiding out in dark places and Karen Kleiman is fighting to turn and keep the lights on. Her professional, but warm commentary and advice after each picture is like a friend holding your hand reassuring you that what you are feeling is okay and you are not alone.
I remember when I had postpartum depression and anxiety with my son and while I desperately searched for other moms' stories and experiences, and would have read pretty much anything, I was way to exhausted and overwhelmed to read a long, wordy book. Karen has solved this with Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts by using the comic book format. And moms reading this book don’t just get to absorb the words and pictures, but each page has a space to write, color, and document their thoughts to help ground and calm them.
I wish this book came out six years ago when I gave birth to my son but, I’m beyond grateful this book has come out now. It’s unacceptable that only 15% of the 1 in 7 women affected by maternal mental health issues receive treatment. It’s outrageous that suicide is the second largest cause of maternal death. We need to do better. We need to fight harder. We need to do more. We need to reframe self-care. Self-care is not a luxury. Self-care is not indulgent. Self-care is not selfish. It’s essential and necessary. We need to reframe professional-care. We need to reframe how we talk to knew moms. And Karen is helping to do it all.
August 1, 2020
This is an important topic and I like that the book handles it through relatable comics and easy to read fact sheets. Most of the information is really obvious though and not very detailed which is why I only gave it three stars. I think it’s a good starting off point for women who may not know how to talk about and understand what they are experiencing post partum but I would’ve liked to have more content and a deeper discussion about the sweeping changes of new motherhood/parenthood. It mentions some of the “scary” and anxious thinking and mostly tells women to contact their doctor or a mental health provider. There is more room for normalizing the fear, anxiety, overwhelm and grief that new parents go through without automatically defaulting to the most standard response. Additionally, as a new mother myself I had very little psychological/emotional support through my medical providers and medical clinics. Once baby is born, the medical focus is largely on the baby and the mothers condition is very often a secondary concern, if at all. I’m sure I am not alone in this experience. My point is that understandably from a liability perspective they have to say “contact your doctor” but as a new mother and reader that advice left me cold.
March 14, 2019
I wish I'd had this book postpartum. It's still good to read now, both personally and of course professionally. I have seen the cartoons circling the internet and I'm grateful there's an awareness campaign regarding postpartum depression and anxiety. It's an important topic not addressed sufficiently and definitely not in sufficient detail (the anxiety part is so important!) in our society so I'm happy to see it presented in an accessible format.
One of my complaints is that it's pretty hetero- and cisnormative and I'd love to see it expanded in future editions. All the partners are male and everyone seems to identify as female.
My other main issue is that this book seems very targeted towards middle-class and above mothers, and even among them mothers of a specific type. The part about barriers to getting help and talking to healthcare providers didn't really address the reality that Medicaid (at least in Illinois) cuts off at 6 weeks postpartum - and many psychiatrists don't accept Medicaid or the managed care plans that go with it. No one is stressed about having to go back to work at their minimum wage job at one week postpartum. I LOVE emphasizing self-care but what does that look like when you have no disposable income and no gym membership or money for daycare (like in the accompanying cartoon)?
And I love the diversity of skin tones but there are more types of inclusivity. I wish that, in parts when discussing having more than one child, a range of family sizes was depicted. Where is the depressed/anxious mother who just had her 7th baby? The book discusses allowing time for your body to go back to a pre-baby weight but where are the mamas who were plus-size pre-pregnancy?
I don't want to give the wrong impression - I like this book a lot and think it's incredibly valuable. I just 1) have a professional opinion as a midwife and 2) think it could be even better and I'd love to push it further in a next edition.
One of my complaints is that it's pretty hetero- and cisnormative and I'd love to see it expanded in future editions. All the partners are male and everyone seems to identify as female.
My other main issue is that this book seems very targeted towards middle-class and above mothers, and even among them mothers of a specific type. The part about barriers to getting help and talking to healthcare providers didn't really address the reality that Medicaid (at least in Illinois) cuts off at 6 weeks postpartum - and many psychiatrists don't accept Medicaid or the managed care plans that go with it. No one is stressed about having to go back to work at their minimum wage job at one week postpartum. I LOVE emphasizing self-care but what does that look like when you have no disposable income and no gym membership or money for daycare (like in the accompanying cartoon)?
And I love the diversity of skin tones but there are more types of inclusivity. I wish that, in parts when discussing having more than one child, a range of family sizes was depicted. Where is the depressed/anxious mother who just had her 7th baby? The book discusses allowing time for your body to go back to a pre-baby weight but where are the mamas who were plus-size pre-pregnancy?
I don't want to give the wrong impression - I like this book a lot and think it's incredibly valuable. I just 1) have a professional opinion as a midwife and 2) think it could be even better and I'd love to push it further in a next edition.
February 15, 2024
A compilation of scenarios and thoughts experienced by moms of babies, from commonplace anxieties and frustrations to more serious mental health crises. Each example is followed by cognitive behavioral or even more concrete steps to take to make things a bit better.
Minus a star for tiny cursive font. I'm getting too old for this.
Minus a star for tiny cursive font. I'm getting too old for this.
March 25, 2021
This book looks at range of thoughts experienced by new mums that really help to normalise what a difficult time it can be. I saw some reviews which said that this book was too simplistic or didn't offer anything new. But I disagree. One, it's nice that it is simplified in comic form because I'm way too tired to work my way through a complex psychological text. Two, it did offer something new for me. I think most mum's worry they have bad thoughts that there is something wrong with them and this book is here to tell you that it's ok.
June 27, 2022
Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts was an incredibly reassuring read as a new parent. It normalizes a lot of the emotions of the postpartum period and provides information about when to seek help for PPA/PPD. I will be keeping this book handy as a reference guide in the coming months for all of its great tips and resources.
January 20, 2025
An incredibly adorable book of validation and resources that I’ll keep coming back to postpartum!
June 2, 2025
A relatable, accurate depiction of what my postpartum experience has been like. It brought a sense of comfort to know that other new moms have had similar experiences to mine. Postpartum is a wild rollercoaster that catches you by surprise going through it for the first time. It's no joke!
September 27, 2024
Quick read with incredible value. Rec to all expecting/new moms and their partners. There is so much nobody tells you about becoming/being a parent and a lot of stuff feels like a kick to the teeth. The pressure is especially on the moms who do so much and have so much going on physically, mentally, and emotionally. Normalizing read for those who know parenting is both the best AND hardest thing you'll ever do.
July 5, 2019
I wish I could give this to every mom I know. I wish I could go back in time and give it to myself earlier. I am SO grateful for the Postpartum Stress Center and all the work they do to help mothers.
November 25, 2021
A good book if you're not dealing with a perinatal mood disorder that requires hospitalization or something more serious. Otherwise it feels kind of dismissive, but I just don't think it's geared towards moms like me.
February 4, 2019
Got an ARC from Edelweiss. All thoughts are my own.
But mothers do have these thoughts. Good mothers. Scary thoughts erupt without warning and terrorize this sacred space between new mother and her baby. It’s no wonder mothers have been reluctant to disclose these thoughts, even to loved ones, leaving them to collapse alone in disgrace with no safe place to fall.
That paragraph alone pretty much sums up my life as a mother. I got three kids before I learned to deal with myself, to cut some slack to myself!
With that said, I think this book is good for every mother, not just the new ones. I mean I’m kind of a veteran already with three kids and still struggled with pretty much everything this book contained in it.
I really enjoyed this book, I truly did. But there still were some parts that felt a little too clear to be in it. Something that every Mike and Jo knows without even having kids. Though I did try to look at those parts from another perspective and I guess those might make sense at some situations, maybe.
Good Mums Have Scary Thoughts has mostly everything in it that these modern days throw in our faces as mothers. Google, breastfeeding, commentaries from other people whom you might not have even met before etc.
“Stop googling when seeking clarification regarding symptoms or diagnoses until you have found a reputable resource to lead the way.”
That’s what I did, I still do sometimes. And let me tell you, when this book says DO NOT GOOGLE! Then do not google. I mean it. I’ve diagnosed multiple cancers already for me and my kids just because I GOOGLED.
As for the problems that I had, those were only regarding the format I had. This ebook was pretty messy. Some paragraphs just ended mid-sentence and never continued. And there were also parts were some sentence just started from the middle, out of nowhere.
Some of the illustrations were just empty squares here and there and I couldn’t figure out any reason for them, other than stuff the pages and make the book longer? Other than that, I did like the illustrations. But the texts written in them were really hard to read at times.
All in all I think this book is very useful for every mom who thinks is struggling with different dilemmas or thoughts.
But mothers do have these thoughts. Good mothers. Scary thoughts erupt without warning and terrorize this sacred space between new mother and her baby. It’s no wonder mothers have been reluctant to disclose these thoughts, even to loved ones, leaving them to collapse alone in disgrace with no safe place to fall.
That paragraph alone pretty much sums up my life as a mother. I got three kids before I learned to deal with myself, to cut some slack to myself!
With that said, I think this book is good for every mother, not just the new ones. I mean I’m kind of a veteran already with three kids and still struggled with pretty much everything this book contained in it.
I really enjoyed this book, I truly did. But there still were some parts that felt a little too clear to be in it. Something that every Mike and Jo knows without even having kids. Though I did try to look at those parts from another perspective and I guess those might make sense at some situations, maybe.
Good Mums Have Scary Thoughts has mostly everything in it that these modern days throw in our faces as mothers. Google, breastfeeding, commentaries from other people whom you might not have even met before etc.
“Stop googling when seeking clarification regarding symptoms or diagnoses until you have found a reputable resource to lead the way.”
That’s what I did, I still do sometimes. And let me tell you, when this book says DO NOT GOOGLE! Then do not google. I mean it. I’ve diagnosed multiple cancers already for me and my kids just because I GOOGLED.
As for the problems that I had, those were only regarding the format I had. This ebook was pretty messy. Some paragraphs just ended mid-sentence and never continued. And there were also parts were some sentence just started from the middle, out of nowhere.
Some of the illustrations were just empty squares here and there and I couldn’t figure out any reason for them, other than stuff the pages and make the book longer? Other than that, I did like the illustrations. But the texts written in them were really hard to read at times.
All in all I think this book is very useful for every mom who thinks is struggling with different dilemmas or thoughts.
December 17, 2020
Wish I’d read this before I had my first baby as I could have prevented a lot of postpartum anxiety-related suffering. As I’m currently still dealing with PPA after baby #2, my therapist recommended this as a resource. It was helpful and reassuring to know I’m not the only person dealing with this. Gift this to your pregnant friends!
August 11, 2021
I feel like reading the anxiety portions of the book awakened new anxieties in me that I never even thought of (lol) and I was thinking maybe the book just isn't for me. Then I got to the anger, rage, and super-scary thoughts portions and thought ah, yes, there's something for everyone in this book.
March 1, 2021
I wish I had this 4 years ago. I think it would be most helpful to people to read while they are pregnant. Reading it now just confirms what I have learned since then, so it feels obvious, but it isn’t obvious if you haven’t experienced it.
May 17, 2019
This book made me feel more human than I have felt in the last ten months of being a new mother. Thank you! <3
February 25, 2025
This book helped me a lot. Written in a fun format and covers many struggles that first time moms have. Straight forward read with good suggestions on how to cope with the huge array of emotions that come with being a first time mom. It helped me feel a lot more normal about what I was going through.
After my son was born, I'd lie and tell people I'm doing great. As soon as I was honest when answering that question and said honestly, I'm struggling, it was so comforting hearing other moms tell me that it's normal to not feel good and that they went through their own dark times.
Them telling me it gets better has helped me tremendously.
It's going to be okay ♥️
After my son was born, I'd lie and tell people I'm doing great. As soon as I was honest when answering that question and said honestly, I'm struggling, it was so comforting hearing other moms tell me that it's normal to not feel good and that they went through their own dark times.
Them telling me it gets better has helped me tremendously.
It's going to be okay ♥️
June 18, 2025
Along with the adult diapers and witch hazel pads, this should be given out in every hospital postpartum bag!
This was gifted to me, and I’m grateful for that. I was so impressed with how the author absolutely nailed such specific elements of the postpartum experience. What an easy (this is important while sleep-deprived!), validating, and helpful read.
“Do not underestimate the power of hope, which is believed to decrease pain and increase tolerance. Focus on your own narrative, your fighting power, your history of success and good instincts. Believe in your ability to endure and begin to celebrate the mother you are.” -p. 149 ❤️
This was gifted to me, and I’m grateful for that. I was so impressed with how the author absolutely nailed such specific elements of the postpartum experience. What an easy (this is important while sleep-deprived!), validating, and helpful read.
“Do not underestimate the power of hope, which is believed to decrease pain and increase tolerance. Focus on your own narrative, your fighting power, your history of success and good instincts. Believe in your ability to endure and begin to celebrate the mother you are.” -p. 149 ❤️
February 14, 2023
A co worker gave me this book because I’ve held a postpartum group at work before. It didn’t really take off like I had hoped, but this book has fantastic resources and information that I could build a group around. I wish I had had this book when I had my son; it would have helped me not feel so alone or angry with myself. We have to normalize that pregnancy/post pregnancy isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. I hope I can help other moms who are struggling; this book is a great tool to help me do so and I would recommend it to any mom.
March 14, 2019
Ich wünschte, dieses Buch hätte es schon vor ein paar Jahren gegeben. Als frisch gebackene Mama hätte ich mich nicht so allein und abnormal gefühlt, hätte vielleicht schneller die Kraft gehabt, mir wichtige Hilfe zu holen. Aber auch jetzt tut dieses Buch einfach gut und ich hoffe sehr, es wird auch noch auf Deutsch veröffentlicht inklusive der Kontaktdaten von professionellen Anlaufstellen im deutschsprachigen Raum.
September 29, 2020
Read this one in bits and pieces if you don't want an emotional overload.
Found this to be especially poignant as a new mom but I think even women who are getting ready to become moms or dads or know a new mom, this is a useful tool.
The comics are humorous and light at times and at others, let's face it, made me cry. Hard.
So much of this is what I needed to hear. It's hard to admit these things out loud, the guilt and feelings are too real sometimes. Very relatable and cathartic.
Found this to be especially poignant as a new mom but I think even women who are getting ready to become moms or dads or know a new mom, this is a useful tool.
The comics are humorous and light at times and at others, let's face it, made me cry. Hard.
So much of this is what I needed to hear. It's hard to admit these things out loud, the guilt and feelings are too real sometimes. Very relatable and cathartic.
July 16, 2023
This is essential reading for all mothers, women, as well as all of those that love and care for them. This recommendation came at the perfect time in my PP journey. The illustrations are absolutely wonderful and the topics are beautifully articulated and easily digestible. Highly recommend to all - 5 stars!
November 24, 2023
What is normal adjustment and what is clinical? Also, could someone just take charge and issue this to people when they leave the hospital? It is an actually helpful, grounding book in a sea of cliche.
March 21, 2024
This was such a lovely book. I’m really glad I read this. I wish I would have read this before giving birth. A lot of the first 10 weeks of having a baby, I was battling mental thoughts that are apparently common. This made me more comfortable and confident in being a new mom.
May 14, 2024
This book had a really fun format. It’s basically Instagram-type illustrations with about a paragraph of commentary for each one. Very readable for a busy mom since you can pick it up and put it down easily. Very relatable with wise words and a comforting tone throughout.
May 18, 2024
My therapist recommended this to me and I cannot endorse this enough for new moms or moms with PPD or PPA …. or any moms for that matter!
It’s not meant to be read cover to cover, but I ended up doing that anyway and really appreciated the insights across the board, even if they didn’t apply to me.
Very humanizing.
It’s not meant to be read cover to cover, but I ended up doing that anyway and really appreciated the insights across the board, even if they didn’t apply to me.
Very humanizing.
June 22, 2020
This book helps me know: I'm not alone in my struggle, I'm not crazy, I am still a good mom.
August 15, 2020
This book is essential for any new (or soon to be new) mom's.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 206 reviews