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Raising Boys in the 21st Century: How to help our boys become open-hearted, kind and strong men
The most popular book ever about raising boys is back, significantly updated to help raise sons in a world that offers gender equality, respect and a whole new kind of man, but is still haunted by toxic masculinity.
You’ll find cutting-edge science about the ‘physical fours’, the ‘emotional eights’ and how puberty can be turned into a positive time, along with hundreds of other practical tips for raising a son.
No two boys are alike, and you have to get to know our own unique boy. The idea that ‘if we understand them, we can help them’ is what has made this book so well loved and trusted in over a million homes.
As one of Australia’s best-known psychologists for almost 30 years, Steve has introduced a generation of fathers into hands-on engagement with kids, and helped thousands of mothers gain confidence in their ability to raise sons well. He has worked with schools in 17 countries, and 130,000 parents have heard his unforgettable live talks.
‘Biddulph is electrifying’
-Telegraph
‘Biddulph is a spellbinder’
– 60 Minutes
You’ll find cutting-edge science about the ‘physical fours’, the ‘emotional eights’ and how puberty can be turned into a positive time, along with hundreds of other practical tips for raising a son.
No two boys are alike, and you have to get to know our own unique boy. The idea that ‘if we understand them, we can help them’ is what has made this book so well loved and trusted in over a million homes.
As one of Australia’s best-known psychologists for almost 30 years, Steve has introduced a generation of fathers into hands-on engagement with kids, and helped thousands of mothers gain confidence in their ability to raise sons well. He has worked with schools in 17 countries, and 130,000 parents have heard his unforgettable live talks.
‘Biddulph is electrifying’
-Telegraph
‘Biddulph is a spellbinder’
– 60 Minutes
292 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 19, 2018
695 people are currently reading
1572 people want to read
About the author
Steve Biddulph
110 books175 followersStephen John Biddulph AM is an Australian author, activist and psychologist who has written a number of influential bestselling books; and lectures worldwide on parenting, and boys' education. He is married and has two children and grandchildren.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 82 reviews
May 27, 2018
It’s a shame that this useful and thoughtful guide is now littered with disclaimers - as if facts must pander to the sensitivities of every single person on the planet.
But... this is 2018 and Biddulph is clearly rolling with the punches.
Raising Boys presents a number of arguments that are both compelling and informative. Sure, not every parent can tick every box but if we can put in place the the majority of what Biddulph suggests I think we could rightfully expect better young men and male adults as a result.
Core to Biddulph’s guide is a familiar theme - respect. That goes both ways. We need to respect the confusing and monumental changes a boy goes through (as well as the boy himself) in order to nurture respectful men.
Highly recommended.
But... this is 2018 and Biddulph is clearly rolling with the punches.
Raising Boys presents a number of arguments that are both compelling and informative. Sure, not every parent can tick every box but if we can put in place the the majority of what Biddulph suggests I think we could rightfully expect better young men and male adults as a result.
Core to Biddulph’s guide is a familiar theme - respect. That goes both ways. We need to respect the confusing and monumental changes a boy goes through (as well as the boy himself) in order to nurture respectful men.
Highly recommended.
August 26, 2018
'Boys are nine times more likely to go to jail, far more likely to rape, commit suicide or die in a car crash. And much less likely to go to University.'
Well, that surely is a blunt way to put things down but yeah! What the heck is wrong with the way we raise our men-to-be?
Addressing a wide array of issues (e.g. children's development, fatherlessness etc.) and focusing on all educational settings having an impact (home, school, the community at large) 'Raising Boys' surely is, at times, a bit scattered, superficial or, at least, oversimplifying things! But, nevertheless, being a man and a dad of two boys myself I cannot but recommend it. The thing is, Steve Biddulph doesn't shy away from addressing tough but necessary topics -from a certain toxic view of masculinity to exposure to pornography- an approach which is more than welcome in our era of 'Me Too!' campaign, gender issues being plagued by political correctness, and addictive digital entertaining. Here's a bullet points type of read that cuts straight through the bs, with straightforward and interesting tips and insights.
It has its weaknesses, but all in all here's a needed and inspiring read.
Well, that surely is a blunt way to put things down but yeah! What the heck is wrong with the way we raise our men-to-be?
Addressing a wide array of issues (e.g. children's development, fatherlessness etc.) and focusing on all educational settings having an impact (home, school, the community at large) 'Raising Boys' surely is, at times, a bit scattered, superficial or, at least, oversimplifying things! But, nevertheless, being a man and a dad of two boys myself I cannot but recommend it. The thing is, Steve Biddulph doesn't shy away from addressing tough but necessary topics -from a certain toxic view of masculinity to exposure to pornography- an approach which is more than welcome in our era of 'Me Too!' campaign, gender issues being plagued by political correctness, and addictive digital entertaining. Here's a bullet points type of read that cuts straight through the bs, with straightforward and interesting tips and insights.
It has its weaknesses, but all in all here's a needed and inspiring read.
August 15, 2018
Useful (but not gospel) insights and tips for parents of boys.
I've read Biddulph before, but not as a parent, and even having studied some child psychology in my degree, without the context of two boys to put learning into, even some rather basic-seeming ideas here felt fresh.
From baby and toddler tips all the way through to the tricky years of adolescence and preparing young men for independence and relationships, Biddulph has updated his older edition with contemporary references and thoughts.
Not all of it worked for me - I felt one comment on selecting suitable youth groups/clubs that don't contain adults who may want to abuse them (not a direct quote but this was the general feel of it) was alarmist and not at all helpful.
This was a good listen - it worked mostly as an audiobook with a calm and personable narrator who kept the tone chatty. What didn't work was the lack of chapter headings and any reference to contents in the Audible files, just 'chapter 1' etc. If I wanted to refer back to certain chapters, for example when my oldest reaches teenage years, I'll have to trawl through or find a paper copy to find the relevant sections.
I was of course most interested in the chapters concerning the ages of my sons presently, and did pick up a lot of useful suggestions as to how to improve our relationships, things I can do with them to encourage their curiosity and independence. But I did also like the sections on those years we have ahead of us, and how each stage of development could be said to be split from the others and why.
I have even sent a copy of this to my husband to listen to, and he's started it, though I have yet to hear his thoughts.
An interesting short introduction into the parenting of young men, though I did feel it was brief and would want to look into these ideas in more detail.
I would recommend the Audible version, it's easy to follow, but the lack of referencing/indexing (publisher - take note!) is a definite drawback.
With thanks to Nudge Books for providing a sample Audible copy.
I've read Biddulph before, but not as a parent, and even having studied some child psychology in my degree, without the context of two boys to put learning into, even some rather basic-seeming ideas here felt fresh.
From baby and toddler tips all the way through to the tricky years of adolescence and preparing young men for independence and relationships, Biddulph has updated his older edition with contemporary references and thoughts.
Not all of it worked for me - I felt one comment on selecting suitable youth groups/clubs that don't contain adults who may want to abuse them (not a direct quote but this was the general feel of it) was alarmist and not at all helpful.
This was a good listen - it worked mostly as an audiobook with a calm and personable narrator who kept the tone chatty. What didn't work was the lack of chapter headings and any reference to contents in the Audible files, just 'chapter 1' etc. If I wanted to refer back to certain chapters, for example when my oldest reaches teenage years, I'll have to trawl through or find a paper copy to find the relevant sections.
I was of course most interested in the chapters concerning the ages of my sons presently, and did pick up a lot of useful suggestions as to how to improve our relationships, things I can do with them to encourage their curiosity and independence. But I did also like the sections on those years we have ahead of us, and how each stage of development could be said to be split from the others and why.
I have even sent a copy of this to my husband to listen to, and he's started it, though I have yet to hear his thoughts.
An interesting short introduction into the parenting of young men, though I did feel it was brief and would want to look into these ideas in more detail.
I would recommend the Audible version, it's easy to follow, but the lack of referencing/indexing (publisher - take note!) is a definite drawback.
With thanks to Nudge Books for providing a sample Audible copy.
July 8, 2021
Man, kaip dviejų berniukų mamai, knygos apie berniukų auginimą yra labai aktualios. Tad šį kartą pristatau labai puikią, populiariaus psichologo, kuris daug metų dirbo su vaikais, paaugliais, šeimomis, aktyviai skatina tėvo vaidmenį ir užsiima pedagogine veikla, knygą. Joje pateikiama informacija, ne tik kaip geriau auklėti berniukus, bet ir kaip užauginti laimingus ir sveikus vaikus.
Nors šiais laikais lytis yra sąlyginis dalykas, tačiau tėvai ir mokytojai sutiks, jog daugumos berniukų auginimas šiek tiek skiriasi nuo mergaičių. Taip yra todėl, kad vaikų elgesį formuoja ir hormonai, ir aplinka. Ši knyga nuo kitų knygų apie berniukų auklėjimą skiriasi tuo, kad joje apžvelgiami net tik psichologiniai, bet ir biologiniai veiksniai, lemiantys skirtingą išvaizdą, charakterį ir elgesį.
Įdomu, jog berniukai ir mergaitės vystosi skirtingais raidos etapais. Taip pat labai vertos dėmesio autoriaus įžvalgos dėl berniukų ir mokyklos. Turbūt esate girdėję ar patys susidūrę su pastabėjimais, jog berniukams sunkiau ramiai išsėdėti suole, ilgiau susikaupti ir jie mokosi prasčiau nei mergaitės. Ir, nors šie teiginiai iš dalies teisingi, ar kada susimąstėte, kodėl taip yra? S. Biddulph, remdamasis patirtimi ir moksliniais tyrimais, paaiškina, kaip galima padėti berniukams, kad jie įveiktų sėkmingai įveiktų iššūkius mokykloje.
Be to, ilgas priverstinis sėdėjimas nėra toks jau sveikas ir natūralus, nes nuo žmonijos istorijos pradžios buvome fiziškai aktyvūs, o darželiai ir mokyklos atsirado žymiai žymiai vėliau. Taip pat šioje knygoje apžvelgta verkimo nauda, raidos etapai, paauglystės iššūkiai, tėvo/vyro reikšmė berniuko auklėjime, sporto nauda ir žala, o skaitymą pagyvina šmaikštūs paveikslėliai.
Rekomenduoju šią knygą ir tapusiems pirmą kartą tėvais, ir auginantiems jau ūgtelėjusius sūnus. Taip pat čia yra informacijos ir mamoms, kurios vaikus augina vienos. Lengvai skaitoma, nes parašyta glaustai, paprastai ir su praktiniais patarimais bei pavyzdžiais. Laikai keičiasi ir 21 amžiuje berniukus turime kitaip, nei prieš 50 metų. O turėdami žinių, kodėl mūsų vaikai elgiasi vienaip ar kitaip, galėsime juos geriau suprasti ir labiau pasitikėsime savo, kaip tėvų jėgomis.
Daugiau knygų rekomendacijų: www.profesionalimama.wordpress.com
Nors šiais laikais lytis yra sąlyginis dalykas, tačiau tėvai ir mokytojai sutiks, jog daugumos berniukų auginimas šiek tiek skiriasi nuo mergaičių. Taip yra todėl, kad vaikų elgesį formuoja ir hormonai, ir aplinka. Ši knyga nuo kitų knygų apie berniukų auklėjimą skiriasi tuo, kad joje apžvelgiami net tik psichologiniai, bet ir biologiniai veiksniai, lemiantys skirtingą išvaizdą, charakterį ir elgesį.
Įdomu, jog berniukai ir mergaitės vystosi skirtingais raidos etapais. Taip pat labai vertos dėmesio autoriaus įžvalgos dėl berniukų ir mokyklos. Turbūt esate girdėję ar patys susidūrę su pastabėjimais, jog berniukams sunkiau ramiai išsėdėti suole, ilgiau susikaupti ir jie mokosi prasčiau nei mergaitės. Ir, nors šie teiginiai iš dalies teisingi, ar kada susimąstėte, kodėl taip yra? S. Biddulph, remdamasis patirtimi ir moksliniais tyrimais, paaiškina, kaip galima padėti berniukams, kad jie įveiktų sėkmingai įveiktų iššūkius mokykloje.
Be to, ilgas priverstinis sėdėjimas nėra toks jau sveikas ir natūralus, nes nuo žmonijos istorijos pradžios buvome fiziškai aktyvūs, o darželiai ir mokyklos atsirado žymiai žymiai vėliau. Taip pat šioje knygoje apžvelgta verkimo nauda, raidos etapai, paauglystės iššūkiai, tėvo/vyro reikšmė berniuko auklėjime, sporto nauda ir žala, o skaitymą pagyvina šmaikštūs paveikslėliai.
Rekomenduoju šią knygą ir tapusiems pirmą kartą tėvais, ir auginantiems jau ūgtelėjusius sūnus. Taip pat čia yra informacijos ir mamoms, kurios vaikus augina vienos. Lengvai skaitoma, nes parašyta glaustai, paprastai ir su praktiniais patarimais bei pavyzdžiais. Laikai keičiasi ir 21 amžiuje berniukus turime kitaip, nei prieš 50 metų. O turėdami žinių, kodėl mūsų vaikai elgiasi vienaip ar kitaip, galėsime juos geriau suprasti ir labiau pasitikėsime savo, kaip tėvų jėgomis.
Daugiau knygų rekomendacijų: www.profesionalimama.wordpress.com
August 8, 2019
This book is for dads who have to have their ego pampered. Apparently women don't understand how to bring up boys and it is all about the dad. Until 6 the mum is useful but after that it is all the dad. He rather outrageously writes a chapter for mums, next time don't bother as you clearly have no idea. In this chapter he says that women are scared to have boys and later then says that women don't know how to bathe boys. SERIOUSLY!!!
I have three boys and was never scared to have a boy and was never worried about bathing him. One of my boys has ADHD and I am married to his father who is very present in his upbringing. How dare Steve Biddulph suggest that ADHD is Dad Deficite Disorder. Read a book on ADHD and don't be so offensive. Seriously I think perhaps times have moved on but you have not. Stop writing about what you do not know or understand.
And the story about the man in LA needs proof reading, they ask for $20, he says he will give $50 but then says he pulls out a $20 to pay them. He also suggests that if someone is brought up by their mother then they will end up in a gang. This is ridiculous and offensive.
I strongly suggest people do not waste their money or time with this book.
I have three boys and was never scared to have a boy and was never worried about bathing him. One of my boys has ADHD and I am married to his father who is very present in his upbringing. How dare Steve Biddulph suggest that ADHD is Dad Deficite Disorder. Read a book on ADHD and don't be so offensive. Seriously I think perhaps times have moved on but you have not. Stop writing about what you do not know or understand.
And the story about the man in LA needs proof reading, they ask for $20, he says he will give $50 but then says he pulls out a $20 to pay them. He also suggests that if someone is brought up by their mother then they will end up in a gang. This is ridiculous and offensive.
I strongly suggest people do not waste their money or time with this book.
June 14, 2018
My View:
This book just make such sense (and has the science and psychology) to back it. This is not just a book about raising boys, it is a book about raising happy, openhearted, strong, resilient children. This book is a boon to all parents, grandparents, carers, teachers and anyone who has social interaction with boys. Read, listen, grow.
This book just make such sense (and has the science and psychology) to back it. This is not just a book about raising boys, it is a book about raising happy, openhearted, strong, resilient children. This book is a boon to all parents, grandparents, carers, teachers and anyone who has social interaction with boys. Read, listen, grow.
February 24, 2019
This book definitely has some insightful information on the inner workings of boys, and there is plenty to take away from it, especially as a first-time mother. I would recommend this for new parents however in future iterations I would like to see some more information on strategies for single parents, as there were few pages dedicated to this ever-growing demographic.
January 27, 2023
J
Parts of this book are five stars and could be recommended for those parts. But he tried to inconsistently tread the line between transgenderism and a traditional view of gender/sex. His comments on transgenderism are alarming because he goes back and forth—it almost feels like he doesn’t have the answer and is uncomfortable in that he wants affirm something we have no concrete data for. He encourages parents to allow their kids to pursue a sex change. But the he says the research is “cautiously positive” and “we are building data as we go” and that “ people who go back on the decision (to pursue physically alternating gender changes) and de-transition, as best they can, are not always reported in studies.” He even says people try to go “back to their original selves”… how can you go back to original when you don’t know what that was? This is dangerous—children are not science experiments. He then says “ I hope that the world changes quickly to be a place where we don’t think in ridged terms of what constitutes a boy or a girl.” But isn’t dangerous and the opposite of transgender? If gender does not matter and needs to be emphasized less, why would anyone feel the need to change it (which is impossible, you are either xx or xy). Ironically, his whole argument of the book is that boys need both men and women to raise them and especially need men—but then again—gender needs to be less important. He wrote a book about how to parent a specific gender.
Parts of this book are five stars and could be recommended for those parts. But he tried to inconsistently tread the line between transgenderism and a traditional view of gender/sex. His comments on transgenderism are alarming because he goes back and forth—it almost feels like he doesn’t have the answer and is uncomfortable in that he wants affirm something we have no concrete data for. He encourages parents to allow their kids to pursue a sex change. But the he says the research is “cautiously positive” and “we are building data as we go” and that “ people who go back on the decision (to pursue physically alternating gender changes) and de-transition, as best they can, are not always reported in studies.” He even says people try to go “back to their original selves”… how can you go back to original when you don’t know what that was? This is dangerous—children are not science experiments. He then says “ I hope that the world changes quickly to be a place where we don’t think in ridged terms of what constitutes a boy or a girl.” But isn’t dangerous and the opposite of transgender? If gender does not matter and needs to be emphasized less, why would anyone feel the need to change it (which is impossible, you are either xx or xy). Ironically, his whole argument of the book is that boys need both men and women to raise them and especially need men—but then again—gender needs to be less important. He wrote a book about how to parent a specific gender.
April 20, 2023
Pleasantly surprised at the research and advice contained in this book. I am a huge proponent of feminism and equality and part of this is acknowledging the difference in sexes. Boys and girls develop differently and require different styles of parenting, teaching, and coaching in some fundamental ways. I am not talking about what toys they play with, what activities they engage in, what clothes they wear and neither is the author. I learnt an enormous amount from this book and will definitely be rereading it. For example, in a typical classroom context in early childhood education, girls are far more mentally developed that boys and so boys sharing classes with girls may experience issues with their self esteem as they are constantly outperformed. This book speaks about how to choose schools for boys and what are the critical period of development and equips parents with sound strategies for helping boys with all aspects of their development.
September 25, 2025
[Audiobook] I was prompted to read this after seeing Maggie Dent had quoted it, and particularly after finding the first 6 months of the 4s quite challenging. This is an excellent guide to male development and key developmental periods in a boys life, and what we can do to best support them and help them develop into strong, kind, emotionally stable adult men. I particularly enjoyed the science behind it, and the acknowledgement in the last chapter about differences between boys and girls.
“The wish to not acknowledge any biological brain differences between males and females is well intentioned and understandable. Within living memory, women were denied the vote, the right to own property, and to refuse sex from their husbands, and kept from positions of power and many professions, sports, or economic activities; all on the basis that they were an inferior creature to men. This outrageous gender apartheid persisted for thousands of years and blighted hundreds of millions of lives. No wonder there is resistance to any idea that we might be different beings, most of us, along gender lines. Fear of turning back the clock is real and natural.
Yet progress depends on facing facts. I think we have reached the point where we can nuance this argument, and deal with real difterences without turning them into grounds for discrimination.”
An important read for parents, caregivers, and teachers, as well as anyone who plays an important role in raising boys. I’m looking forward to reading Biddulph’s book about girls.
“The wish to not acknowledge any biological brain differences between males and females is well intentioned and understandable. Within living memory, women were denied the vote, the right to own property, and to refuse sex from their husbands, and kept from positions of power and many professions, sports, or economic activities; all on the basis that they were an inferior creature to men. This outrageous gender apartheid persisted for thousands of years and blighted hundreds of millions of lives. No wonder there is resistance to any idea that we might be different beings, most of us, along gender lines. Fear of turning back the clock is real and natural.
Yet progress depends on facing facts. I think we have reached the point where we can nuance this argument, and deal with real difterences without turning them into grounds for discrimination.”
An important read for parents, caregivers, and teachers, as well as anyone who plays an important role in raising boys. I’m looking forward to reading Biddulph’s book about girls.
January 25, 2020
This book was gifted to me by my mum as I have a son and she thought it could be helpful.
It was an interesting read, there’s so much that happens to children’s bodies, hormones and minds as they develop and boys are different to girls in that respect. I finished the book with things to remember later on as my son grows.
I didn’t agree with everything in there, but it was an interesting read that makes you stop and reconsider all the aspects of all life and how to better yourself and how to help your son grow into the best version of themselves.
It was an interesting read, there’s so much that happens to children’s bodies, hormones and minds as they develop and boys are different to girls in that respect. I finished the book with things to remember later on as my son grows.
I didn’t agree with everything in there, but it was an interesting read that makes you stop and reconsider all the aspects of all life and how to better yourself and how to help your son grow into the best version of themselves.
October 18, 2021
It always takes me longer to get through non-fiction, but as a mum of boys I found this very interesting. Some great practical advice regarding family structure, hobbies and schooling, plus interesting scientific explanations that give great insight on how young boys develop. Very informative.
March 29, 2025
Really glad I read this. I found myself agreeing with the majority of what he says and there were quite a few boy-specific things that I have not read elsewhere.
March 11, 2020
I borrowed this ebook from my library and I am going to purchase a hardcopy so I can return to this resource as Hamish grows up. Full of knowledge and wisdom about the special/specific things boys need growing up to become good men. Full of evidence based information but very warm and easy to read.
Highly recommended for anyone raising a boy.
Highly recommended for anyone raising a boy.
June 14, 2023
As a mother of a little boy I was excited to learn about the positive ways we can parent our young men. I’m not entirely sure why, but this book just didn’t resonate strongly with me on a whole. Parts of it are fantastic and I really enjoyed learning about the brain and chemical differences between boys and girls, and how we can best foster learning, growth, and development from a young age based on your childs gender at birth.
On the other hand, as a feminist that wants to raise a boy that sees his female friends, relatives, coworkers, etc as equals, I did have some issues with segments in this book mainly surrounding women and their stereotypical role in domestic chores.
One example was during a section titled ‘Five fathering essentials’. The paragraph states that if your job is demanding during the week (as a dad) one of the tips was to encourage your partner to go away for the weekend so you can bond with your toddler and give your partner some time away. All harmless so far… But then it adds at the end ‘Try to clean up before she gets home - this really impresses spouses’. Is this because it’s women that clean and enjoy cleanliness, and a way to impress your partner is to clean up? I know it might seem small to some but these little nods to deep gender roles were scattered throughout the book which overall impacted on my enjoyment.
Overall the book offers some unique insight into the subtle differences between our little humans minds, but overall I don’t think it has changed the way I want to parent my son. Take with a grain of salt.
On the other hand, as a feminist that wants to raise a boy that sees his female friends, relatives, coworkers, etc as equals, I did have some issues with segments in this book mainly surrounding women and their stereotypical role in domestic chores.
One example was during a section titled ‘Five fathering essentials’. The paragraph states that if your job is demanding during the week (as a dad) one of the tips was to encourage your partner to go away for the weekend so you can bond with your toddler and give your partner some time away. All harmless so far… But then it adds at the end ‘Try to clean up before she gets home - this really impresses spouses’. Is this because it’s women that clean and enjoy cleanliness, and a way to impress your partner is to clean up? I know it might seem small to some but these little nods to deep gender roles were scattered throughout the book which overall impacted on my enjoyment.
Overall the book offers some unique insight into the subtle differences between our little humans minds, but overall I don’t think it has changed the way I want to parent my son. Take with a grain of salt.
July 24, 2018
I'm not one to normally read books like this but had heard good things about it so thought it was worth a try. I found it really interesting to read about the different stages of development from baby to manhood and provided some really good points. It is definitely a book that I will keep going back to as my little boy grows.
January 25, 2019
My psychologist suggested this book to me saying, “I wish I had read it when my children were young”. So I think my expectations were quite high to begin with. The only revelation I got from this book was the testosterone surges boys go through at three to four years old otherwise, there was nothing to actively implement, just a lot of “boys need their fathers or at least a male role model”; “boys don’t do well in our current education climate because the physically cannot sit still” and my favourite “boys are different from girls but share a lot of the same issues”. So I’m not sure my parenting has been enriched by the whole book other than allowing me three year old to occasionally run wild to burn of his mini-teenage phase he’s going through.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 14, 2020
"Raising Boys in the 21st Century" makes me feel like I bought the CliffsNotes to a much larger, wordier and more meaningful book. Sadly for me, it was just too shallow.
This book had a lot of promise but sadly only scratched the surface on the many subjects it mentions. I have already read articles on numerous parenting websites and blogs that cover as much detail and often more. Topics were glossed over far too quickly. Too many references to author's other written works suggesting more depth elsewhere. Disappointing for this hungry reader. Perhaps good for non-readers, as it is very simplistic in its message delivery.
This book had a lot of promise but sadly only scratched the surface on the many subjects it mentions. I have already read articles on numerous parenting websites and blogs that cover as much detail and often more. Topics were glossed over far too quickly. Too many references to author's other written works suggesting more depth elsewhere. Disappointing for this hungry reader. Perhaps good for non-readers, as it is very simplistic in its message delivery.
November 9, 2024
Czy wychowanie chłopców różni się od wychowania dziewczynek? A może w XXI wieku, kiedy mamy już zrównanie ról, to i wychowanie powinno być takie samo?
Steve Biddulph, doświadczony terapeuta rodzinny, w swojej książce "Wychowanie chłopców w XXI wieku" podejmuje się niezwykle ważnego zadania i odpowiedzi na pytanie, jak powinno wyglądać obecnie wychowywanie chłopców? Autor, znany z bezpośredniego i przystępnego stylu, oferuje rodzicom i opiekunom chłopców kompleksowy przewodnik po ich wyjątkowym świecie, pełnym zarówno wyzwań, jak i niezwykłych możliwości.
Jednym z największych atutów tej książki jest jej praktyczny charakter. Biddulph nie tylko opisuje charakterystyczne cechy chłopców w różnych etapach rozwoju, ale także proponuje konkretne strategie wychowawcze. Dzięki nim rodzice mogą lepiej zrozumieć potrzeby swoich synów i skuteczniej reagować na różne sytuacje. Autor podkreśla znaczenie budowania silnej więzi emocjonalnej między rodzicem a dzieckiem, co jest kluczowe dla prawidłowego rozwoju chłopca.
Biddulph zwraca uwagę na fakt, że chłopcy, podobnie jak dziewczynki, są wyjątkowymi jednostkami, które wymagają indywidualnego podejścia. Autor podkreśla znaczenie różnic między płciami, jednocześnie przestrzegając przed sztywnymi stereotypami. Dzięki temu czytelnik może lepiej zrozumieć, dlaczego chłopcy często zachowują się w określony sposób i jak można wspierać ich mocne strony, jednocześnie pomagając im w przezwyciężaniu trudności.
Książka Biddulpha jest również cennym źródłem informacji na temat współczesnych wyzwań, z którymi zmagają się chłopcy. Autor porusza takie tematy jak presja rówieśnicza, cyberprzemoc, trudności w szkole czy problemy z samooceną. Dzięki temu rodzice mogą lepiej przygotować się na te wyzwania i skuteczniej wspierać swoje dzieci.
Warto podkreślić, że Biddulph pisze w sposób przystępny i pełen humoru, przytacza też mnóstwo przykładów co sprawia, że czytanie książki jest przyjemnością i łatwiej przyswajać sobie informacje. Autor nie boi się poruszać trudnych tematów i dzielić się własnymi doświadczeniami, co dodatkowo buduje zaufanie czytelnika.
"Wychowywanie chłopców w XXI wieku" to książka, która powinna znaleźć się na półce każdego rodzica chłopca. To nie tylko poradnik, ale także inspiracja do budowania głębokiej i satysfakcjonującej relacji z synem. Dzięki tej książce rodzice mogą lepiej zrozumieć potrzeby swoich dzieci, wspierać ich rozwój i pomóc im wyrosnąć na szczęśliwych i wartościowych mężczyzn.
Książka warta uwagi, bo wskazuje ścieżkę rodzicom, pozwala dostosować wychowanie i znaleźć złoty środek między emocjami, a praktycznymi umiejętnościami.
Steve Biddulph, doświadczony terapeuta rodzinny, w swojej książce "Wychowanie chłopców w XXI wieku" podejmuje się niezwykle ważnego zadania i odpowiedzi na pytanie, jak powinno wyglądać obecnie wychowywanie chłopców? Autor, znany z bezpośredniego i przystępnego stylu, oferuje rodzicom i opiekunom chłopców kompleksowy przewodnik po ich wyjątkowym świecie, pełnym zarówno wyzwań, jak i niezwykłych możliwości.
Jednym z największych atutów tej książki jest jej praktyczny charakter. Biddulph nie tylko opisuje charakterystyczne cechy chłopców w różnych etapach rozwoju, ale także proponuje konkretne strategie wychowawcze. Dzięki nim rodzice mogą lepiej zrozumieć potrzeby swoich synów i skuteczniej reagować na różne sytuacje. Autor podkreśla znaczenie budowania silnej więzi emocjonalnej między rodzicem a dzieckiem, co jest kluczowe dla prawidłowego rozwoju chłopca.
Biddulph zwraca uwagę na fakt, że chłopcy, podobnie jak dziewczynki, są wyjątkowymi jednostkami, które wymagają indywidualnego podejścia. Autor podkreśla znaczenie różnic między płciami, jednocześnie przestrzegając przed sztywnymi stereotypami. Dzięki temu czytelnik może lepiej zrozumieć, dlaczego chłopcy często zachowują się w określony sposób i jak można wspierać ich mocne strony, jednocześnie pomagając im w przezwyciężaniu trudności.
Książka Biddulpha jest również cennym źródłem informacji na temat współczesnych wyzwań, z którymi zmagają się chłopcy. Autor porusza takie tematy jak presja rówieśnicza, cyberprzemoc, trudności w szkole czy problemy z samooceną. Dzięki temu rodzice mogą lepiej przygotować się na te wyzwania i skuteczniej wspierać swoje dzieci.
Warto podkreślić, że Biddulph pisze w sposób przystępny i pełen humoru, przytacza też mnóstwo przykładów co sprawia, że czytanie książki jest przyjemnością i łatwiej przyswajać sobie informacje. Autor nie boi się poruszać trudnych tematów i dzielić się własnymi doświadczeniami, co dodatkowo buduje zaufanie czytelnika.
"Wychowywanie chłopców w XXI wieku" to książka, która powinna znaleźć się na półce każdego rodzica chłopca. To nie tylko poradnik, ale także inspiracja do budowania głębokiej i satysfakcjonującej relacji z synem. Dzięki tej książce rodzice mogą lepiej zrozumieć potrzeby swoich dzieci, wspierać ich rozwój i pomóc im wyrosnąć na szczęśliwych i wartościowych mężczyzn.
Książka warta uwagi, bo wskazuje ścieżkę rodzicom, pozwala dostosować wychowanie i znaleźć złoty środek między emocjami, a praktycznymi umiejętnościami.
March 16, 2020
Wcześniejsze wydanie książki już kilka lat temu przeczytałem po raz pierwszy. Niedawno zorientowałem się iż wyszło nowe wydanie i jest dostępne w aplikacji audiobookowej. Postanowiłem odswieżyć temat, zainteresowało mnie również to iż autor postanowił zaktualizować swoją koncepcje odnośnie wychowywania chłopców w XXI wieku.
Lektura nowego wydania "Raising Boys" zainspirowała mnie i dała nowe spojrzenie na kilka spraw.
Szczególnie fragment gdzie autor opisuje podejście do nowych technologii, gier komputerowych, tabletowych.
Nie pamiętam czy w poprzedniej wersji były informacje o tym jak zmysły, szczególnie słuch rozwijają się u chłopców. Za bardzo ciekawą informacje uznałem fakt, iż aparat słuchu u chłopców rozwija się dłużej niż u dziewczynek. To, że chłopcy czasem dokładnie nie słyszą poleceń nauczycieli czy też rodziców może być związane z tym iż faktycznie akustycznie nie słyszą tego co się mówi.
Autor rozszerzył w tym nowym wydaniu temat związany z udziałem chłopców z zorganizowanym sporcie. Wcześniej autor zachęcał rodziców do zapisywania dzieci do gry w sportach zespołowych. W tym wydaniu jednak ostrzega przed trenerami szarlatanami i opisuje w książce na co zwracać przy ocenie zachowania trenerów sportowych i w przypadku jeśli trenerzy sportowi zachęcają do agresji, przemocy czy też są autorytarni to lepiej wypisać dziecko ze sportu, gdyż to może zbyt negatywnie rozwinąć się na rozwoju dziecka.
Wspomniałem kilka przykładów powyżej, nie będę się więcej rozpisywał na temat zawartości książki. Na pewno jest to dobra, wartościowa pozycja. Bardzo wysoko oceniam rady przedstawione i opisane w książce przez autora.
Lektura nowego wydania "Raising Boys" zainspirowała mnie i dała nowe spojrzenie na kilka spraw.
Szczególnie fragment gdzie autor opisuje podejście do nowych technologii, gier komputerowych, tabletowych.
Nie pamiętam czy w poprzedniej wersji były informacje o tym jak zmysły, szczególnie słuch rozwijają się u chłopców. Za bardzo ciekawą informacje uznałem fakt, iż aparat słuchu u chłopców rozwija się dłużej niż u dziewczynek. To, że chłopcy czasem dokładnie nie słyszą poleceń nauczycieli czy też rodziców może być związane z tym iż faktycznie akustycznie nie słyszą tego co się mówi.
Autor rozszerzył w tym nowym wydaniu temat związany z udziałem chłopców z zorganizowanym sporcie. Wcześniej autor zachęcał rodziców do zapisywania dzieci do gry w sportach zespołowych. W tym wydaniu jednak ostrzega przed trenerami szarlatanami i opisuje w książce na co zwracać przy ocenie zachowania trenerów sportowych i w przypadku jeśli trenerzy sportowi zachęcają do agresji, przemocy czy też są autorytarni to lepiej wypisać dziecko ze sportu, gdyż to może zbyt negatywnie rozwinąć się na rozwoju dziecka.
Wspomniałem kilka przykładów powyżej, nie będę się więcej rozpisywał na temat zawartości książki. Na pewno jest to dobra, wartościowa pozycja. Bardzo wysoko oceniam rady przedstawione i opisane w książce przez autora.
June 11, 2024
I like reading this book because I have a 4-year-old boy, and parenting can be challenging. My son is starting to show The boys versus girls dynamic in his preferences for friends and toys. The book cites research showing boys have better academic achievements in boys-only versus girls-only or mixed-gender classrooms for learning English. It discusses the bond between a boy and his mother and the bond between a boy and his father.
I disagreed with some points, such as the idea that boys will always come to the father for some things and to the mother for others. My internal feminist disagrees with that idea. However, I liked its explanation of the hormone produced from ages four to six, which helps generate cells in the testicles to produce testosterone from age six onwards. It explains the change in boys' behavior at ages 4, 6, and puberty.
I want my boy to be open-hearted and kind. Society expected boys to be sporty. But I'm not sporty, so I don't care much about that. I also want him to embrace dance, music, and academics.
I appreciate the book's idea about rough play with a child. The father can engage in rough play but also lay down guidelines on what constitutes gentle hands and gentle play. It explains how to pause from rough play. I am seeing the rough play come up with my son, so this was timely.
It talked about society's changing expectations of fathers, explaining explicit content to your sons, and more.
I rate the book four out of five because it contained new information and perspectives I liked.
I disagreed with some points, such as the idea that boys will always come to the father for some things and to the mother for others. My internal feminist disagrees with that idea. However, I liked its explanation of the hormone produced from ages four to six, which helps generate cells in the testicles to produce testosterone from age six onwards. It explains the change in boys' behavior at ages 4, 6, and puberty.
I want my boy to be open-hearted and kind. Society expected boys to be sporty. But I'm not sporty, so I don't care much about that. I also want him to embrace dance, music, and academics.
I appreciate the book's idea about rough play with a child. The father can engage in rough play but also lay down guidelines on what constitutes gentle hands and gentle play. It explains how to pause from rough play. I am seeing the rough play come up with my son, so this was timely.
It talked about society's changing expectations of fathers, explaining explicit content to your sons, and more.
I rate the book four out of five because it contained new information and perspectives I liked.
July 21, 2019
Essential reading. Insights into boys' development and behaviour, what to expect, and more importantly, how to react. The book closes most remarkably:
'Most books on "parenting" have a built-in assumption [...] that the world we live in is just fine, and our job is to fit our kids into it well. That the procession of human life is headed to a golden, prosperous future, and we only need to keep our kids from falling by the wayside. Perhaps (though this is not usually stated), we can help them push to the head of the queue. Of course, this is a massive lie. The very best science and knowledge is that we live in a time of dystopian collapse, where inequality, the misuse of resources, and above all the crisis of climate change will lead to disrupted agriculture, famine, mass migration and war. We know this because it's already begun. It's almost certain that our kids will live in far worse times than we have, and our grandchildren may not be able to live at all. We don't need kids who fit in. We need heroes - young men and women who are strong-hearted, caring, calm and passionate and have a purpose beyond themselves - to care for the whole species and the life that sustains it. To turn things around. To promote radical, non-violent change. We need good men and women in numbers like never before.'
'Most books on "parenting" have a built-in assumption [...] that the world we live in is just fine, and our job is to fit our kids into it well. That the procession of human life is headed to a golden, prosperous future, and we only need to keep our kids from falling by the wayside. Perhaps (though this is not usually stated), we can help them push to the head of the queue. Of course, this is a massive lie. The very best science and knowledge is that we live in a time of dystopian collapse, where inequality, the misuse of resources, and above all the crisis of climate change will lead to disrupted agriculture, famine, mass migration and war. We know this because it's already begun. It's almost certain that our kids will live in far worse times than we have, and our grandchildren may not be able to live at all. We don't need kids who fit in. We need heroes - young men and women who are strong-hearted, caring, calm and passionate and have a purpose beyond themselves - to care for the whole species and the life that sustains it. To turn things around. To promote radical, non-violent change. We need good men and women in numbers like never before.'
December 21, 2018
I have been familiar, in a cursory way since the 1990s, of Steve Biddulph's Manhood work. I also read a revised version of that book. As I look at various men, at work and at play, at younger men and older men, I continue to ponder their development to maturity. I also reflect upon it in the light of my own coming to maturity. Deaths of loved ones and other setbacks can impact on us at crucial developmental moments of our lives. As can living in an institution as a 'kept man' with little real responsibility. So, I brought those questions to this book of Biddulph's: 'Raising Boys in the 21st Century.' I learned much about how we can, at some junctures, not do some of the steps of growing up very well. But, we can catch up and help each other to greater maturity and less toxicity. Biddulph looks at fathers and sons, mothers and sons (with his wife, Shaaron), sport, and much more. This book is not just about boys. It is about the males in our lives and how we can help them grow up and flourish alongside us. Worth a read.
July 14, 2023
Started off well but progressively got worse. To the point that as a mother I found some bits offensive. I found bits of it dated even though it is supposed to have been updated. I felt like if you don’t fit into the perfect mum, dad and kids family pattern then you already have a problem. We are currently experiencing issues with my sons nursery so reading the bit about how really boys shouldn’t go to nursery (!?) and should be looked after at home did not make me feel great and also is not realistic for modern families which take many shapes and sizes. Some positivity and practical advice would have been more useful than alarmist views of all the things that can go wrong in boys lives if they aren’t perfect. I felt like I was reading a lecture rather than an insightful book. Lots of stereotyping too throughout in terms of gender roles of parents and the likes and dislikes of boys. I mean it was a quick easy read but to be honest would not recommend.
June 30, 2019
In general I enjoyed listening to this book. Even though sometimes it reads like a collection of truisms, it has its moments. Sometimes it is really biased towards one opinion and does not leave you with enough food for thought to make your own. Many parts of the book are very weak on the evidence and do not present any alternative arguments to the author's opinion, so your critical thinking will hurt a little when reading to this book. However, I think it is meant to be like this, so can't really complain.
Having said all that, some things were really useful, so I can't really say the book was bad. A last paragraph or two at the end was really great, and redeemed a lot of drawbacks of this book.
The narrator's performance is near perfect, well paced, excellent diction and intonation. Just for this, this book get's an extra point.
Having said all that, some things were really useful, so I can't really say the book was bad. A last paragraph or two at the end was really great, and redeemed a lot of drawbacks of this book.
The narrator's performance is near perfect, well paced, excellent diction and intonation. Just for this, this book get's an extra point.
November 27, 2021
This is a fantastic book!
I listened to it on Audible read by the author, and Steve sounds like a really good man. He makes an excellent defense for approaching parenting boys and girls uniquely, and very helpfully unpacks various aspects of what's needed to raise boys. Steve leans on his clinical background, and extensive experience in this field, as well as sharing from his own expereince and other anecdotal evidence to colour the facts, figures and principles with real life examples and ideas for how to approach this important task.
As a Christian, i did find myself disagreeing slightly on moral grounds with regards to some of the sentiments around sexuality, but I don't feel like this took away from the book at all. I highly recommend this to anyone (but especially fathers) who is parenting a boy, or working with children and adolescents.
I listened to it on Audible read by the author, and Steve sounds like a really good man. He makes an excellent defense for approaching parenting boys and girls uniquely, and very helpfully unpacks various aspects of what's needed to raise boys. Steve leans on his clinical background, and extensive experience in this field, as well as sharing from his own expereince and other anecdotal evidence to colour the facts, figures and principles with real life examples and ideas for how to approach this important task.
As a Christian, i did find myself disagreeing slightly on moral grounds with regards to some of the sentiments around sexuality, but I don't feel like this took away from the book at all. I highly recommend this to anyone (but especially fathers) who is parenting a boy, or working with children and adolescents.
June 8, 2024
Neblogai papildė skaitytą Augant Kainui, nes buvo paliesta ir naujų temų, paminėta tam tikrų faktų, detalių, kurių nebuvo anoje knygoje, bet sakyčiau, kad ana knyga išsamesnė, tad tikrai verta abi perskaityti.
Kas šioje knygoje įdomu? Išskiriami trys berniukų augimo etapai, nemažai skiriama dėmesio hormonų įtakai berniukų elgesiui augant, smagu, kad nemažai minimos ir mergaitės, pateikiant lyčių palyginimus, rašoma apie seksualumą, pornografijos pasekmes, homoseksualumą, norą keisti lytį, kompiuterinius žaidimus, mokymosi įstaigas, patyčias, mokymosi sunkumus, mokyklos parinkimą, sportą, priklausymą bendruomenei ir tt.
Yra čia ir konkrečių patarimų, realių istorijų kaip pavyzdžių, įdomios statistikos, tad rekomenduoju.
Kas šioje knygoje įdomu? Išskiriami trys berniukų augimo etapai, nemažai skiriama dėmesio hormonų įtakai berniukų elgesiui augant, smagu, kad nemažai minimos ir mergaitės, pateikiant lyčių palyginimus, rašoma apie seksualumą, pornografijos pasekmes, homoseksualumą, norą keisti lytį, kompiuterinius žaidimus, mokymosi įstaigas, patyčias, mokymosi sunkumus, mokyklos parinkimą, sportą, priklausymą bendruomenei ir tt.
Yra čia ir konkrečių patarimų, realių istorijų kaip pavyzdžių, įdomios statistikos, tad rekomenduoju.
August 4, 2020
I'm a fairly new dad and found myself out of my depth with my now 1 year old son. My wife recommended this book to give me an idea of what to expect and what was expected.
Raising Boys is a light, easy read, filled with useful advice, inspiring anecdotes and lots of information on what fathers can do to provide loving and supportive environments in which their son can grow. It also have me some insight into my own experiences and behaviours.
I have already bought a copy of this book for my cousin, who's also a new father, and I will certainly be re-reading Raising Boys throughout my son's childhood.
Raising Boys is a light, easy read, filled with useful advice, inspiring anecdotes and lots of information on what fathers can do to provide loving and supportive environments in which their son can grow. It also have me some insight into my own experiences and behaviours.
I have already bought a copy of this book for my cousin, who's also a new father, and I will certainly be re-reading Raising Boys throughout my son's childhood.
August 18, 2020
An interesting read, some of which I will take on board. Some strange insinuations ie boys who go to daycare before 1yo “May be more likely to have marital problems”?! (Footnote missing!!). Lots of white middle class assumptions made (ie assumes that mothers can stay gone with kids til they start 3yo kinder, while dads will be distracted with high powered corporate careers). Very cisheteronormative throughout, with what feels like a bit of an afterthought of a final few pages on how gender is a spectrum.
Interesting on positive male role models for boys, and how to reduce toxic masculinity.
An interesting read but grain of salt required.
Interesting on positive male role models for boys, and how to reduce toxic masculinity.
An interesting read but grain of salt required.
May 12, 2019
Very well written book with plenty of insightful data and information on what occurs in the mind and bodies of boys as babies and then as teenagers. the author spends significant time explaining the role of testosterone and high energy boys. The speaks about the failure of schools who do not create curriculums around this biological need often leaving boys feeling incompetant, bored and uninspired. Lots of personal stories and useful tips on how to connect emotionally with your son and the importance of male role models. Excellent read.
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