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Love as Always, Mum xxx
The true story of an abused childhood, of shocking brutality and life as the daughter of notorious serial killer, and master manipulator, Rose West.
You're twenty-one years old. Police arrive on the doorstep of your house, 25 Cromwell Street, with a warrant to search the garden for the remains of your older sister you didn't know was dead. Bones are found and they are from more than one body. And so the nightmare begins. You are the daughter of Fred and Rose West.
'Mae, I mean this ... I'm not a good person and I let all you children down ...' Rose West, HM PRISON DURHAM
It has taken over 20 years for Mae West to find the perspective and strength to tell her remarkable story: one of an abusive, violent childhood, of her serial killer parents and how she has rebuilt her life in the shadow of their terrible crimes.
Through her own memories, research and the letters her mother wrote to her from prison, Mae shares her emotionally powerful account of her life as a West. From a toddler locked in the deathly basement to a teen fighting off the sexual advances of her father, Mae's story is one of survival. It also answers the questions: how do you come to terms with knowing your childhood bedroom was a graveyard? How do you accept the fact your parents sexually tortured, murdered and dismembered young women? How do you become a mother yourself when you're haunted by the knowledge that your own mother was a monster? Why were you spared and how do you escape the nightmare?
You're twenty-one years old. Police arrive on the doorstep of your house, 25 Cromwell Street, with a warrant to search the garden for the remains of your older sister you didn't know was dead. Bones are found and they are from more than one body. And so the nightmare begins. You are the daughter of Fred and Rose West.
'Mae, I mean this ... I'm not a good person and I let all you children down ...' Rose West, HM PRISON DURHAM
It has taken over 20 years for Mae West to find the perspective and strength to tell her remarkable story: one of an abusive, violent childhood, of her serial killer parents and how she has rebuilt her life in the shadow of their terrible crimes.
Through her own memories, research and the letters her mother wrote to her from prison, Mae shares her emotionally powerful account of her life as a West. From a toddler locked in the deathly basement to a teen fighting off the sexual advances of her father, Mae's story is one of survival. It also answers the questions: how do you come to terms with knowing your childhood bedroom was a graveyard? How do you accept the fact your parents sexually tortured, murdered and dismembered young women? How do you become a mother yourself when you're haunted by the knowledge that your own mother was a monster? Why were you spared and how do you escape the nightmare?
320 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 6, 2018
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7338 people want to read
About the author
Mae West
2 books16 followersMae West's parents were two of Britain's most notorious serial killers, Fred and Rose West, who brutally tortured and murdered 12 people, including two of their own children.
Her sister, Heather, was 16 when her parents murdered her after she tried to escape - then buried her in the garden.
Her sister, Heather, was 16 when her parents murdered her after she tried to escape - then buried her in the garden.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 658 reviews
February 11, 2019
What was it like growing up in 25 Cromwell Street, aka the House of Horrors? What kind of impact can Fred and Rose West being your parents have on you, as a person? What would you grow up to be?
Surprisingly, you can grow to become a lovely, warm-hearted, insightful person. My overriding impression from this book is that Mae West has come out the other side of a horrifically abusive childhood - abusive in physical, sexual and emotional ways - and has proceeded to move on from the darkness towards to a more hopeful future. Mae West is truly inspiring. But it's also quite sad in some ways as you can see how her mother continues to have a hold over her even when she is in prison. She keeps in contact with her mother and sends her money, which seems unfathomable, but surely you would want to believe your parent was incapable of such evil, especially if they were denying any participation? However, over time, she slowly breaks the bond as she realises this relationship is not healthy.
I would have considered myself relatively well-versed in the story of Fred and Rose West, but this book really did fill in a number of gaps and missing pieces of information for me. I really wasn't aware of the abuse that took place in Cromwell Street with regards to their own children. I was shocked and horrified, and I'm pretty sure my face was a picture at times as I listened to this audiobook on my walks. Major major trigger warnings for rape, abuse, torture. I mean, I knew the Wests were sick, but what I had read or learned about before this only scratched the surface of how evil and vile these two were.
I would recommend the audiobook as I was a fan of the narrator's voice, although she did put on quite a strange voice when she was pretending to be Fred West... which was perhaps a bit off-putting LOL. But I quickly got used to it! A great book if you're a true crime fan who likes when emphasis is placed on the victims, because although we do learn more about her parents, Mae is the real focus here, as is her poor sister Heather, who lost her life at the hands of the Wests.
I find it uncomfortable to rate someone's memoir as these are events that actually happened and you can't really place a rating on someone's account of their life. But in terms of my own personal enjoyment, I would rate this 3.5 stars. Some parts were perhaps a tad repetitive, but I really can't fault Mae's resilience or strength.
Surprisingly, you can grow to become a lovely, warm-hearted, insightful person. My overriding impression from this book is that Mae West has come out the other side of a horrifically abusive childhood - abusive in physical, sexual and emotional ways - and has proceeded to move on from the darkness towards to a more hopeful future. Mae West is truly inspiring. But it's also quite sad in some ways as you can see how her mother continues to have a hold over her even when she is in prison. She keeps in contact with her mother and sends her money, which seems unfathomable, but surely you would want to believe your parent was incapable of such evil, especially if they were denying any participation? However, over time, she slowly breaks the bond as she realises this relationship is not healthy.
I would have considered myself relatively well-versed in the story of Fred and Rose West, but this book really did fill in a number of gaps and missing pieces of information for me. I really wasn't aware of the abuse that took place in Cromwell Street with regards to their own children. I was shocked and horrified, and I'm pretty sure my face was a picture at times as I listened to this audiobook on my walks. Major major trigger warnings for rape, abuse, torture. I mean, I knew the Wests were sick, but what I had read or learned about before this only scratched the surface of how evil and vile these two were.
I would recommend the audiobook as I was a fan of the narrator's voice, although she did put on quite a strange voice when she was pretending to be Fred West... which was perhaps a bit off-putting LOL. But I quickly got used to it! A great book if you're a true crime fan who likes when emphasis is placed on the victims, because although we do learn more about her parents, Mae is the real focus here, as is her poor sister Heather, who lost her life at the hands of the Wests.
I find it uncomfortable to rate someone's memoir as these are events that actually happened and you can't really place a rating on someone's account of their life. But in terms of my own personal enjoyment, I would rate this 3.5 stars. Some parts were perhaps a tad repetitive, but I really can't fault Mae's resilience or strength.
April 8, 2019
What a difficult book to rate ?
How can you explain one of the saddest, shocking, absorbing, gripping, brutal books about one of Britain's worst serial killers Fred and Rose West, but is is so compelling and brutally honest.
I thought I knew the whole story, I thought I could not be shocked, but Mae West , with the help of a co-author tells a compelling, absorbing, honest, shocking, brutal story of the notorious couple her Mum and Dad.
The detail of the story and the very often honesty is what touches me, and you can understand why it took Mae West over 20 years to clear her head mentally to be able to tell this story.
This book covers the whole story, the history of the Mum and Dad (Rose and Fred), the grandparents, the uncle, their childhoods to adulthood, to her own childhood growing up under unbelievable mental and physical torture.
How often I read chapter after chapter I asked myself "WHO WAS WORSE", I just do not know how to answer that question, and when you have read the book, see if you can answer the same question..... Fred West or Rose West...
As you read more and more you as a reader become more shocked and stunned, more touched how such a young girl can survive mentally and physically the horrible life every day.
From outside, I ask myself, how.... How does this happen and nobody notices for years, no authorities, no teachers, no police.
Why over the years was there no questions?
The book shocks to the bottom of your heart, why did a family of brothers and sisters have to suffer and not only during their childhood but mentally for their whole life's.
Not only suffer but die as some of the children did, at the hands of the two sick individuals, and worse sleep above where their were buried.
It is beyond words. I read this book often shocked, but found it compelling, gripping and heartwarming, why ?
Here is a book that shows you how strong we can be as humans, how a real friend is so important to help you recover, learning to believe in yourself, how we are designed to survive.
It took the author many years to find herself, believe in herself and be happy in her own body, and the book follows that whole story of just one human being and told so well.
It confirms to me that Fred and Rose West were two of the worst serial killers. Evil people.
Yes I recommend this book, but you will be shocked.
Four stars
How can you explain one of the saddest, shocking, absorbing, gripping, brutal books about one of Britain's worst serial killers Fred and Rose West, but is is so compelling and brutally honest.
I thought I knew the whole story, I thought I could not be shocked, but Mae West , with the help of a co-author tells a compelling, absorbing, honest, shocking, brutal story of the notorious couple her Mum and Dad.
The detail of the story and the very often honesty is what touches me, and you can understand why it took Mae West over 20 years to clear her head mentally to be able to tell this story.
This book covers the whole story, the history of the Mum and Dad (Rose and Fred), the grandparents, the uncle, their childhoods to adulthood, to her own childhood growing up under unbelievable mental and physical torture.
How often I read chapter after chapter I asked myself "WHO WAS WORSE", I just do not know how to answer that question, and when you have read the book, see if you can answer the same question..... Fred West or Rose West...
As you read more and more you as a reader become more shocked and stunned, more touched how such a young girl can survive mentally and physically the horrible life every day.
From outside, I ask myself, how.... How does this happen and nobody notices for years, no authorities, no teachers, no police.
Why over the years was there no questions?
The book shocks to the bottom of your heart, why did a family of brothers and sisters have to suffer and not only during their childhood but mentally for their whole life's.
Not only suffer but die as some of the children did, at the hands of the two sick individuals, and worse sleep above where their were buried.
It is beyond words. I read this book often shocked, but found it compelling, gripping and heartwarming, why ?
Here is a book that shows you how strong we can be as humans, how a real friend is so important to help you recover, learning to believe in yourself, how we are designed to survive.
It took the author many years to find herself, believe in herself and be happy in her own body, and the book follows that whole story of just one human being and told so well.
It confirms to me that Fred and Rose West were two of the worst serial killers. Evil people.
Yes I recommend this book, but you will be shocked.
Four stars
September 29, 2019
I have recently read ‘Fred And Rose: The Full Story of Fred and Rose West and the Gloucester House of Horrors’ and ‘She Must Have Known: The Trial Of Rosemary West’. They both concluded that Mae West was on her mother, Rose’s, side and believed that she was not involved in any way with the murders committed by her father, Fred West. Now, 20 years later, with all the emotion from that time not hindering her perception she felt it time to write her book. You do need a little prior knowledge of the case as it is helpful, I would say, when reading this.
Mae goes over some of the letters her mother sent to her from Durham prison but then she goes back to the beginning. The beginning being the meeting of her mother and father. Rose was 15 and Fred was 28. Fred’s first wife Rena had left him with two kids. Charmaine, 6, and Anne Marie, 5. At this point Fred was living in a caravan. Mae provides a succinct and very clear summary of that time before she was even born. She goes over her early life of sleeping in the basement and then all the alterations being made to the house by her father. How she played with Heather her older sister. Reading this from one of the children that lived there is chilling. There is a lot that I had not read before. Her mother’s angry and violent outbursts toward the young children. The way their father made crude and disgusting jokes in front of them. The absolutely disgusting and vile figure of Uncle John who was Fred’s younger brother.
The conflict for Mae is there for all to see. Rose is her mother and Mae loves her. Mae cannot imagine that her mother had anything to do with the killings committed by her serial killer father. There is something nagging Mae. It does not add up especially the way her mother acts. There is a loyalty her mother demands. It is only later that Mae finds out the stories from her siblings. With all this being said there is no actual hard evidence that Rose was involved but Mae sees her mother differently now.
Mae goes through her life and the difficulties of being a West. Trying to hide it from her work colleagues and her daughter. So why the book? Surely this only brings the whole horrifying saga back to life? Mae is now strong enough to not only write this book but face the world for something her parents did. I hope that the whole writing process helped Mae in seeing that none of her parents actions were anything to do with her. She was a victim. She does not need to hide.
Mae goes over some of the letters her mother sent to her from Durham prison but then she goes back to the beginning. The beginning being the meeting of her mother and father. Rose was 15 and Fred was 28. Fred’s first wife Rena had left him with two kids. Charmaine, 6, and Anne Marie, 5. At this point Fred was living in a caravan. Mae provides a succinct and very clear summary of that time before she was even born. She goes over her early life of sleeping in the basement and then all the alterations being made to the house by her father. How she played with Heather her older sister. Reading this from one of the children that lived there is chilling. There is a lot that I had not read before. Her mother’s angry and violent outbursts toward the young children. The way their father made crude and disgusting jokes in front of them. The absolutely disgusting and vile figure of Uncle John who was Fred’s younger brother.
The conflict for Mae is there for all to see. Rose is her mother and Mae loves her. Mae cannot imagine that her mother had anything to do with the killings committed by her serial killer father. There is something nagging Mae. It does not add up especially the way her mother acts. There is a loyalty her mother demands. It is only later that Mae finds out the stories from her siblings. With all this being said there is no actual hard evidence that Rose was involved but Mae sees her mother differently now.
Mae goes through her life and the difficulties of being a West. Trying to hide it from her work colleagues and her daughter. So why the book? Surely this only brings the whole horrifying saga back to life? Mae is now strong enough to not only write this book but face the world for something her parents did. I hope that the whole writing process helped Mae in seeing that none of her parents actions were anything to do with her. She was a victim. She does not need to hide.
September 27, 2018
A fascinating read. Mae West seems like such a warmhearted and caring person. It was heart-breaking to hear about what she went through. Yet the thing I find most interesting about her story is the psychology behind what she voiced aloud. She seemed to want to try to find "some" good in Fred and Rose. She seemed to want to cling for "some" good memories. She seemed to feel "undeserving" of counselling because she felt that other victims got it worse than she did. Reading between the lines, there is so much emotional damage that she has suffered that she cannot see how horrific her childhood is. I really felt so much sympathy for her and in some ways I wished I could befriend her and offer her some support. She has carried so much guilt about where she has come from. She was caring to her mother even after she was imprisoned and I believe this is all part of the abuse - that inability to walk away. This was a really compelling and fascinating read and I hope that Mae gains some kind of therapy/closure from writing it. I hope too that she begins to learn that she herself is a beautiful and warm soul, deserving of all the love and contentment she can have.
October 7, 2018
In 2011 Neil McKay’s drama documentary Appropriate Adult was shown on UK TV. This looked at the effect that sitting in on the interviews between Fred West and the police had on the woman designated his ‘appropriate adult.’ The writer had gone to great lengths to look at the psychological impact on the people involved in the investigation. Mae, the eldest surviving daughter of Rose and Fred West was involved in the project and he persuaded her to tell the world what it was really like growing up, and what the last twenty plus years have been like being the daughter of probably the most notorious of all female serial killers. His assistance with the book mean that while Mae’s own words shine through the structure and overall feel is that this is a well-written and thought out book.
Because of my early interest I have read most if not all of the books written about the crimes but I was very interested to hear how Mae came to terms with the realisation that her mother had been far more involved than Mae had wanted to believe. I truly believe that when we obviously recoil from the crimes that their parents committed we forget that the children in the house at the time were innocent and yet they bear the scars not only of their upbringing but also the scars of people’s reactions when they find out who they are. This is a side of crime and the awful ripple effect that is rarely examined.
I’m not going to pretend this is an easy read but I’m glad to say it doesn’t dwell on accounts of the murders themselves, although of course they do feature, rather this is Mae’s account of things she remembers from childhood; Heather and her younger brother Stephen feature largely here because of the first three children of Rose and Fred West were close in age. Mae is at pains to impress that while there was abuse and other unsavoury things going on at home, they also celebrated birthdays, had a lovely sit down Christmas lunch and were turned out to school in spotlessly clean clothes and Rose took the children to school she picked them up at home time. In other words her childhood wasn’t so very different to mine, or I suspect any other child’s in the same era. Mae also puts to bed the lie that the West children knew no better than the way they were bought up. Even as children, as children generally are, they were aware where the differences between their homelife and those of those of their peers. They were embarrassed by ‘sex noises’ leaking into the street and the fact that their father compulsively stole, and abused his daughters.
The extracts from Rose’s letters add another psychological study which is impossible to solve although Mae gives her views on what the letters sending her love from inside prison to the life her daughter was building with such a terrible shadow hanging over her.
What most impressed me is that Mae manages to get across that just because she was played a very bad hand in the cards of life she has her own aspirations, she has passed the right values onto the next generation as have her sisters who she remains close to. I say to those who criticise her decision to write this book, who are we to judge and perhaps if you remove the sensationalism surrounding the author and read the words, this is a study of a number of psychological issues.
Because of my early interest I have read most if not all of the books written about the crimes but I was very interested to hear how Mae came to terms with the realisation that her mother had been far more involved than Mae had wanted to believe. I truly believe that when we obviously recoil from the crimes that their parents committed we forget that the children in the house at the time were innocent and yet they bear the scars not only of their upbringing but also the scars of people’s reactions when they find out who they are. This is a side of crime and the awful ripple effect that is rarely examined.
I’m not going to pretend this is an easy read but I’m glad to say it doesn’t dwell on accounts of the murders themselves, although of course they do feature, rather this is Mae’s account of things she remembers from childhood; Heather and her younger brother Stephen feature largely here because of the first three children of Rose and Fred West were close in age. Mae is at pains to impress that while there was abuse and other unsavoury things going on at home, they also celebrated birthdays, had a lovely sit down Christmas lunch and were turned out to school in spotlessly clean clothes and Rose took the children to school she picked them up at home time. In other words her childhood wasn’t so very different to mine, or I suspect any other child’s in the same era. Mae also puts to bed the lie that the West children knew no better than the way they were bought up. Even as children, as children generally are, they were aware where the differences between their homelife and those of those of their peers. They were embarrassed by ‘sex noises’ leaking into the street and the fact that their father compulsively stole, and abused his daughters.
The extracts from Rose’s letters add another psychological study which is impossible to solve although Mae gives her views on what the letters sending her love from inside prison to the life her daughter was building with such a terrible shadow hanging over her.
What most impressed me is that Mae manages to get across that just because she was played a very bad hand in the cards of life she has her own aspirations, she has passed the right values onto the next generation as have her sisters who she remains close to. I say to those who criticise her decision to write this book, who are we to judge and perhaps if you remove the sensationalism surrounding the author and read the words, this is a study of a number of psychological issues.
January 12, 2022
I have always had an interest in the West case and I always think it has influenced my interest in true crime. I grew up on the street next to Cromwell Street, Gloucester and I walked through the pathway that now runs through where the house used to stand pretty much every day. It made sense, when this book popped up on First Reads, for me to choose it.
Mae West and her siblings grew up in a household of abuse and sexual inappropriateness. Her mum, Rose, worked as a prostitute and was violent and her father, Fred, used to openly watch videos of his wife's sessions with her clients in front of the children as well as trying (and sometimes succeeding) to molest them. In 1994, police uncovered the remains 9 young women buried at 25 Cromwell Street. Mae's parents were serial killers.
This book covers Mae's entire life, from growing up in 25 Cromwell Street, to becoming a mother and trying to escape her past. It also focuses on the manipulative relationship Mae had with her mother until she finally found the strength to cut her off.
Mae's story and life will always get 5 stars. This is not a judgement on her story and what she and her siblings went through was horrendous. But the story was overly repetitive and could have done with a great deal of editing.
Mae West and her siblings grew up in a household of abuse and sexual inappropriateness. Her mum, Rose, worked as a prostitute and was violent and her father, Fred, used to openly watch videos of his wife's sessions with her clients in front of the children as well as trying (and sometimes succeeding) to molest them. In 1994, police uncovered the remains 9 young women buried at 25 Cromwell Street. Mae's parents were serial killers.
This book covers Mae's entire life, from growing up in 25 Cromwell Street, to becoming a mother and trying to escape her past. It also focuses on the manipulative relationship Mae had with her mother until she finally found the strength to cut her off.
Mae's story and life will always get 5 stars. This is not a judgement on her story and what she and her siblings went through was horrendous. But the story was overly repetitive and could have done with a great deal of editing.
February 9, 2019
A brutally honest account of life growing up as a daughter of two of the most depraved serial killers in British history. I am unashamedly fascinated by true crime and this particular case has always intrigued me so this was a book I was looking forward to.
The author goes into minute detail about her childhood and formidable years and showed what life was like growing up with Fred and Rose West. For all her suffering and the horrendous murder of her sister at the hands of her own parents, the author writes with great insight into how and why events unfolded as they did.
There are endless documentaries and books written about this case so it was refreshing to read from a close and personal perspective. I imagine writing this book was somewhat therapeutic for the author, as by her own admission she has never had professional counselling.
This is a definitive worth while read for those familiar with the case of the West’s.
The author goes into minute detail about her childhood and formidable years and showed what life was like growing up with Fred and Rose West. For all her suffering and the horrendous murder of her sister at the hands of her own parents, the author writes with great insight into how and why events unfolded as they did.
There are endless documentaries and books written about this case so it was refreshing to read from a close and personal perspective. I imagine writing this book was somewhat therapeutic for the author, as by her own admission she has never had professional counselling.
This is a definitive worth while read for those familiar with the case of the West’s.
September 28, 2018
An interesting read .
I actually had no recollection of the crimes talked about in these books although I knew the names . As I started reading this I watched every documentary I could find to research more before I got to the end of the book. The part I found confusing is Maes complete conviction that her mother was no guilty - but I can’t find anything that says rose west has ever confessed , there is no reason why Mae’s mind was changed all of a sudden ??
I would of liked to understand a bit more about the psychological process and reviews this family underwent .
I actually had no recollection of the crimes talked about in these books although I knew the names . As I started reading this I watched every documentary I could find to research more before I got to the end of the book. The part I found confusing is Maes complete conviction that her mother was no guilty - but I can’t find anything that says rose west has ever confessed , there is no reason why Mae’s mind was changed all of a sudden ??
I would of liked to understand a bit more about the psychological process and reviews this family underwent .
December 15, 2025
I started reading this book 3 years ago but it was so traumatizing that I was never able to finish it. So I decided to finish it this year. I can't even imagine what these poor children have gone through. The fact that I live on the same planet as people like Rose West and her husband makes me feel sick.
April 21, 2021
As an avid true crime fan, I thought I knew the ins and out of Fred and Rose Wests life and crimes but there was some new information in this book. Its very upsetting to read the childhood of their children, harrowing and emotive.
April 1, 2020
This book felt like it was split into two parts. The abuse suffered at the hands of Fred and Rose, and what happened after the bodies were found.
When reading about Mae's childhood, I enjoyed the book. It gave me a deeper insight into the killers. How they abused their children and were fine with them sleeping and playing on the graves of their victims. But the moment the bodies were found and the book switched over to Mae siding with Rose I felt disgusted and pretty much lost interest.
Now, I only know Rose as a serial killer. This is obviously different for Mae, who is the daughter of both of the accused. So for her to go from a slightly different but normal family to one plastered all over the news is going to be hard. Yet she paints this picture that she found it impossible to imagine Rose as being a murderer all the while talking about the abuse she suffered at the hands of this woman. One of which is the time when she almost witnessed the murder of her brother.
She says in the book that she sees Rose grab Stephen (Mae's brother) by the throat and lift him up in the air, whilst trying to pull down his trousers to hit his bottom. Mae says that Stephen turned purple before losing consciousness and that she thought her mother had killed him. So why, after seeing that, and all the abuse you and your siblings suffered, was it so hard to possibly imagine that maybe she had a hand in killing the women? Or maybe she knew what Fred was up to and just didn't care, the exact attitude she had towards the some of the sexual abuse going on in the house (unless helping out, she didn't care that her husband and your father was running into the bathroom, or threatening to rape you.) So why, after years of all this, was it so hard to imagine that maybe she did know?
I can understand that not wanting to believe your family is capable of that, it's totally understandable. But to go on believing she is innocent, even after she is convicted, to the point where you lose relationships with your siblings the only people who can truly understand everything you've been through. Yet you still took her side? Gross.
Mae claims it was Stockholm syndrome or some other mental illness that kept her siding with Rose, and maybe it was, but the way she wrote the book doesn't come off like that. It comes off as 'Please don't make my mother out to be a bad person. I love her and she can be kind sometimes.' During the last two chapters, she mentions how she stopped communications with her mother (thank god!) and now lives happily ever after with her husband and two kids blah blah blah.
Personally, the book had its highs and lows. I do feel like it came off as a way to make Rose look better than she is and maybe that wasn't how it was intended but that's how I took it. Whoops.
When reading about Mae's childhood, I enjoyed the book. It gave me a deeper insight into the killers. How they abused their children and were fine with them sleeping and playing on the graves of their victims. But the moment the bodies were found and the book switched over to Mae siding with Rose I felt disgusted and pretty much lost interest.
Now, I only know Rose as a serial killer. This is obviously different for Mae, who is the daughter of both of the accused. So for her to go from a slightly different but normal family to one plastered all over the news is going to be hard. Yet she paints this picture that she found it impossible to imagine Rose as being a murderer all the while talking about the abuse she suffered at the hands of this woman. One of which is the time when she almost witnessed the murder of her brother.
She says in the book that she sees Rose grab Stephen (Mae's brother) by the throat and lift him up in the air, whilst trying to pull down his trousers to hit his bottom. Mae says that Stephen turned purple before losing consciousness and that she thought her mother had killed him. So why, after seeing that, and all the abuse you and your siblings suffered, was it so hard to possibly imagine that maybe she had a hand in killing the women? Or maybe she knew what Fred was up to and just didn't care, the exact attitude she had towards the some of the sexual abuse going on in the house (unless helping out, she didn't care that her husband and your father was running into the bathroom, or threatening to rape you.) So why, after years of all this, was it so hard to imagine that maybe she did know?
I can understand that not wanting to believe your family is capable of that, it's totally understandable. But to go on believing she is innocent, even after she is convicted, to the point where you lose relationships with your siblings the only people who can truly understand everything you've been through. Yet you still took her side? Gross.
Mae claims it was Stockholm syndrome or some other mental illness that kept her siding with Rose, and maybe it was, but the way she wrote the book doesn't come off like that. It comes off as 'Please don't make my mother out to be a bad person. I love her and she can be kind sometimes.' During the last two chapters, she mentions how she stopped communications with her mother (thank god!) and now lives happily ever after with her husband and two kids blah blah blah.
Personally, the book had its highs and lows. I do feel like it came off as a way to make Rose look better than she is and maybe that wasn't how it was intended but that's how I took it. Whoops.
May 20, 2025
This is very difficult to rate. The brutal abuse and mind manipulation of life growing up with two serial killers/sexual predators as parents disturbed me quite a bit. The details are sickening and horrifying. Those poor children suffered so much.
March 1, 2019
A very interesting book however it was a bit repetitive and I felt that some of the chapters could have been skipped all together.
March 10, 2025
well, for such a shocking and intense subject, narrated by the victim, I found the reading light and the writing smooth, the victim's dissertations are intriguing... sometimes everything seems "normal" and other times they quickly appear brutally shocking... Getting a glimpse into the minds of perverse killers... it's fascinating! I liked it.
November 10, 2025
this was so harrowing!! but I enjoyed the writing style
February 25, 2019
I think this is one book it's that doesn't need much of an explanation. One of my absolute fascinations is criminal psychology, particularly those of serial killers. Fred and Rose West are arguably the most notorious (alongside Brady and Hindley) in the UK.
This is the story of one of their children Mae. Mae was just 21 when the police came to their door to advise that they were going to dig up the family garden at 25 Cromwell Street following the confession of her father: that he had killed her sister Heather alongside many other women.
Mae shares her story from childhood to date in what life was like being raised by what can only be described as 2 of the most heinous barbaric people of all time.
I read this book in an entire sitting. To say that I enjoyed this book would be wrong. It's an incredibly difficult topic and the horrific events that took place in Mae's childhood are true and not for entertainment. At times they are graphically depicted.
Mae West is one utterly inspirational woman. To still have compassion and kind heartedness after everything she has been through and seen is incredibly humbling. She describes on several occasions that whilst she knew her family life was far from normal, there were times of happiness and celebration. Despite her suffering, she still loved her parents. Upon hearing about her dad's confession she had no further contact but believed her mum's proclaimed innocence.
Even after Rose was sent to prison for life, Mae still wanted to believe the best her in mum (which isn't so surprising, as it would be unthinkable to believe that your own blood had committed such atrocities). She even sent her money when she had practically nothing herself. But as time goes on and Mae's life starts to get on track she realises that the relationship is still all one sided and not healthy.
I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to have such a stigma attached to your name. For people to have written about you and discussed the inner workings of your mind and life without having ever spoken a word to you directly. To have people have a reaction to you and feel compelled to tell you their own woes based on the fact that they know some of yours. To have people make assumptions that you must have known something despite only being a child (and to put some of the onus on you for not protecting others or even preventing some of the crimes committed). To have jobs and relationships affected. All because of your surname...
I find it really hard to rate this book, as it's not a work of fiction, this is about someone's life (and the lives and deaths of others). No matter the style of writing (which I found to be excellent), this must have taken a hell of lot of guts to produce. A 5 star read for me.
March 12, 2019
It never takes me this long to finish a book, but this was harrowing, heart-breaking and terrifying all at once. My heart really hurts for Mae and her siblings. They've been through hell and it's sad knowing that they've had to change their names because of journalistic vultures who won't leave them alone. Was the children at anyway involved? Did the have knowledge that this was all happening in their family home? Absolutely not.
Mae West's accounts on growing up tore my heart to shreds. How a child can go through what she has is beyond me. She's brave, heroic, and so selfless that I honestly can't applaud her enough. Her braveness is inspiring for many people. No-one should have to go through what they did.
Saying this, it was good to get an insight into the home itself rather than all the gory, graphic details that we all heard on the news, or have read about in books and newspapers. This first person account into the 'House of Horrors' - as it was dubbed by the media - was a true gift, and I thank Mae West for giving us all the chance to understand the family life aspect as well as the other details that we can all recount ourselves.
This book is truly moving in many ways and as much as I want to say I enjoyed it, I didn't, because it was heart-wrenching, but that's why it's a 5-star read. So much emotion and truth. It's definitely hard not to be moved by this.
Though the writing was good, the editing was absolutely terrible, and it made it hard to understand in places.
Mae West's accounts on growing up tore my heart to shreds. How a child can go through what she has is beyond me. She's brave, heroic, and so selfless that I honestly can't applaud her enough. Her braveness is inspiring for many people. No-one should have to go through what they did.
Saying this, it was good to get an insight into the home itself rather than all the gory, graphic details that we all heard on the news, or have read about in books and newspapers. This first person account into the 'House of Horrors' - as it was dubbed by the media - was a true gift, and I thank Mae West for giving us all the chance to understand the family life aspect as well as the other details that we can all recount ourselves.
This book is truly moving in many ways and as much as I want to say I enjoyed it, I didn't, because it was heart-wrenching, but that's why it's a 5-star read. So much emotion and truth. It's definitely hard not to be moved by this.
Though the writing was good, the editing was absolutely terrible, and it made it hard to understand in places.
November 27, 2018
I was already familiar with this case, having read other books but watched documentaries but this one was written by one of the West children, so I knew I had to read it to get a new perspective and to also understand how someone can prevail after such a terrible childhood.
Reading about the shockingly bad everyday treatment of the children was bad enough, but what I found as harrowing was Mae's struggle with trying to keep up a relationship with her mother post conviction. My mother may not be a serial killer, but I do understand the desire for an adult to try and have some kind of relationship with an individual who is your mother - even if they have been physically and emotionally abusive to you your whole life. Personally, I blame societies image of motherhood of this wholesome, nurturing, source of unconditional love. It can be but often isn't, with devastating consequences. Denial, mixed with hope and desperation, culminates in Mae clinging onto trying to be a daughter to a narcissistic, violent psychopath. the fact that she can finally break free and live her life is a testament to her strength and will.
Reading about the shockingly bad everyday treatment of the children was bad enough, but what I found as harrowing was Mae's struggle with trying to keep up a relationship with her mother post conviction. My mother may not be a serial killer, but I do understand the desire for an adult to try and have some kind of relationship with an individual who is your mother - even if they have been physically and emotionally abusive to you your whole life. Personally, I blame societies image of motherhood of this wholesome, nurturing, source of unconditional love. It can be but often isn't, with devastating consequences. Denial, mixed with hope and desperation, culminates in Mae clinging onto trying to be a daughter to a narcissistic, violent psychopath. the fact that she can finally break free and live her life is a testament to her strength and will.
August 11, 2022
As someone else wrote: "This [rating] is not a judgement on her story and what she and her siblings went through was horrendous. But the story was overly repetitive and could have done with a great deal of editing."
April 7, 2024
I’ve found this difficult to rate as it’s Mae’s personal experience of growing up within the West household. I found this to be a well written and fascinating book.
I would definitely recommend this if you love true crime.
I would definitely recommend this if you love true crime.
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April 20, 2021So disturbing, I don't even know how to rate this.
July 12, 2025
Interesting and important to read what it was like for the inside. Great book.
March 27, 2022
A heartbreaking insight into being a child of the prolific serial killers Fred and Rose West. Growing up in what became known as the “house of horrors” and the abuse and suffering the children were subjected to at the hands of their parents.
Told from the mouth of Mae West , one of the older of Fred and Roses children together , she relays over letters sent by her mother over the years while she remained in contact with Rose and was convinced of her innocence in the murders that took place at 25 Cromwell street.
Told from the mouth of Mae West , one of the older of Fred and Roses children together , she relays over letters sent by her mother over the years while she remained in contact with Rose and was convinced of her innocence in the murders that took place at 25 Cromwell street.
January 5, 2020
Well I didn't expect this book to be an easy read but goodness what those poor children went through. I found it very sad that an adult that had been put so much by a parent in the end still yearned for her mother's love.
May 21, 2019
I've read two previous books on the Fred/Rose West case (The Cromwell Street Murders: The Detective's Story and "She Must Have Known": The Trial Of Rosemary West), as well as growing up in Gloucester at the same time the murders were discovered, so I'm pretty familiar with the case. Therefore I didn't really learn anything new here, but it was good to hear it from someone who was actually there.
I would say a bit of knowledge on the case is probably wise before starting this as things aren't always put in an entirely linear order, which might confuse someone going in cold. By the end of the book you have a full picture though.
Of course the main focus of this book is taking you through what it was like to grow up in the same household as a mother and father who sexually tortured and murdered close to 20 women and girls. The details of this don't get any easier to read. Proceed with caution.
But what I found more interesting, and something I hadn't gained from the other books on the case, was the process of Mae coming to terms with everything that went on and the long shadow the events have left on the lives of her and her siblings.
Until recently Mae was still in contact with Rose, who remains alive and well in prison (Fred took his own life in 1995, before the trial came to court). How Mae has wrestled with her reasons for remaining in contact was fascinating to read. Although the majority of her childhood was awful, there were tiny chinks of light such as Christmas dinners together and the births of her brothers and sisters. Those memories don't just go away and in fact made things even worse as Mae was constantly desperate for the love and affection she knew her parents were capable of. As much as the general public don't know the full truth, it looks like Mae never will either and that must be so hard to deal with, not knowing what to believe.
It did seem to me that Rose was playing with Mae while in prison, keeping her at arm's length unless there was something Rose could get from Mae such as supplies and clothes for her prison life. I got the sense that Rose quite enjoys her infamy and has settled into a cushy life behind bars. I'm glad Mae has wised up to this as it means she can concentrate more on her own life now. That is what Mae says in the book and I believe that too. I really wish her all the best.
I would say a bit of knowledge on the case is probably wise before starting this as things aren't always put in an entirely linear order, which might confuse someone going in cold. By the end of the book you have a full picture though.
Of course the main focus of this book is taking you through what it was like to grow up in the same household as a mother and father who sexually tortured and murdered close to 20 women and girls. The details of this don't get any easier to read. Proceed with caution.
But what I found more interesting, and something I hadn't gained from the other books on the case, was the process of Mae coming to terms with everything that went on and the long shadow the events have left on the lives of her and her siblings.
Until recently Mae was still in contact with Rose, who remains alive and well in prison (Fred took his own life in 1995, before the trial came to court). How Mae has wrestled with her reasons for remaining in contact was fascinating to read. Although the majority of her childhood was awful, there were tiny chinks of light such as Christmas dinners together and the births of her brothers and sisters. Those memories don't just go away and in fact made things even worse as Mae was constantly desperate for the love and affection she knew her parents were capable of. As much as the general public don't know the full truth, it looks like Mae never will either and that must be so hard to deal with, not knowing what to believe.
It did seem to me that Rose was playing with Mae while in prison, keeping her at arm's length unless there was something Rose could get from Mae such as supplies and clothes for her prison life. I got the sense that Rose quite enjoys her infamy and has settled into a cushy life behind bars. I'm glad Mae has wised up to this as it means she can concentrate more on her own life now. That is what Mae says in the book and I believe that too. I really wish her all the best.
February 18, 2020
This is such a difficult book to rate and review. Let alone read!
I, like many other readers, picked up this book with the strange fascination for what happened in 25 Cromwell Street - also known as The House of Horrors. I thought I knew plenty about what happened and that I couldn't be shocked, but Mae West was completely transparent in this book, exposing some of the harshest and most heartbreaking events of the nightmare that she was forced to deal with.
Not only did I audibly gasp at this book, but I found myself having to put it down at times before continuing long-reading sessions. There were some things that were so uncomfortable to read, and rightly so - nobody should have to go through what everyone involved went through.
Mae tells the story of one of the biggest cases in England whilst also being honest about her own feelings towards her parents; explaining how when she was a child she knew things weren't normal but also experienced some happy memories growing up. Because of these peeks into what could be seen as a 'normal' childhood on some days, that I was able to really understand Mae's struggle to break the bound from her mother, even after her conviction.
This is an extremely important story to read, giving Mae a voice to be verbal about breaking the cycle of abuse and surviving a terror she never thought she would be a part of. And because of that, it deserves five stars.
I, like many other readers, picked up this book with the strange fascination for what happened in 25 Cromwell Street - also known as The House of Horrors. I thought I knew plenty about what happened and that I couldn't be shocked, but Mae West was completely transparent in this book, exposing some of the harshest and most heartbreaking events of the nightmare that she was forced to deal with.
Not only did I audibly gasp at this book, but I found myself having to put it down at times before continuing long-reading sessions. There were some things that were so uncomfortable to read, and rightly so - nobody should have to go through what everyone involved went through.
Mae tells the story of one of the biggest cases in England whilst also being honest about her own feelings towards her parents; explaining how when she was a child she knew things weren't normal but also experienced some happy memories growing up. Because of these peeks into what could be seen as a 'normal' childhood on some days, that I was able to really understand Mae's struggle to break the bound from her mother, even after her conviction.
This is an extremely important story to read, giving Mae a voice to be verbal about breaking the cycle of abuse and surviving a terror she never thought she would be a part of. And because of that, it deserves five stars.
July 20, 2025
Maybe don’t read if your due to read this one, as there is slight spoilers
I’m familiar with the infamous Fred and rose west killings but recently watched the Netflix documentary showcasing the horrific abuse and murders on those woman. I was curious to know more about the children’s upbringing in that hell house hence why I started this one.
I have watched and read a LOT of dark stuff but nothing prepared me for what hell these children suffered.
The very brave Mae West gives a full journey of her life at home , being brought up by Fred and Rose West. The abuse and neglect these children encountered for all those years was truly heartbreaking to read 😢 and what hurt more than ever is that these children still stood by there parents sides after the arrests and evidence was found , as they still craved and seeked that “parental” love and wanting they never had as children.
That’s when I went from sad to angry.
When Rose was arrested and convicted Mae was much older and had already left home but was still there for her mum, Rose took advantage of mae, brainwashing her even more, controlling her still from behind bars pleading her innocence even though mae and rose knew full well what upbringing she had and was subject to at home.
I was angry that Mae could even want to look at her mother let alone visit her in prison on a regular basis , but whom am I to judge I wasn’t subject to the abuse that poor woman was, maybe it alters your way of thinking for sure.
All I can say is I hope all who were affected by these monsters can now live a somewhat normal life, and I hope the ones who never got the chance to escape that hell house are now resting in peace.
Truly heartbreaking 💔
I’m familiar with the infamous Fred and rose west killings but recently watched the Netflix documentary showcasing the horrific abuse and murders on those woman. I was curious to know more about the children’s upbringing in that hell house hence why I started this one.
I have watched and read a LOT of dark stuff but nothing prepared me for what hell these children suffered.
The very brave Mae West gives a full journey of her life at home , being brought up by Fred and Rose West. The abuse and neglect these children encountered for all those years was truly heartbreaking to read 😢 and what hurt more than ever is that these children still stood by there parents sides after the arrests and evidence was found , as they still craved and seeked that “parental” love and wanting they never had as children.
That’s when I went from sad to angry.
When Rose was arrested and convicted Mae was much older and had already left home but was still there for her mum, Rose took advantage of mae, brainwashing her even more, controlling her still from behind bars pleading her innocence even though mae and rose knew full well what upbringing she had and was subject to at home.
I was angry that Mae could even want to look at her mother let alone visit her in prison on a regular basis , but whom am I to judge I wasn’t subject to the abuse that poor woman was, maybe it alters your way of thinking for sure.
All I can say is I hope all who were affected by these monsters can now live a somewhat normal life, and I hope the ones who never got the chance to escape that hell house are now resting in peace.
Truly heartbreaking 💔
October 24, 2023
A very difficult book to rate. Listened to this as an audiobook and was also a tough listen at times. I'm very familiar with the crimes discussed in the book but hearing what it was like actually living in that house and growing up with them as parents, just absolutely wretched. Interesting to hear Maes POV of their life, though difficult to reconcile how she could continue contact with her mum after all that, but an interesting true crime account.
June 14, 2023
This was an interesting, but definitely brutal read. The point of view of the families of serial killers isn’t a point of view that I think of often, but it was such an interesting perspective to hear from. Mae’s inner conflict of reconciling then bring her parents while also being abusive and terrible to not only her and her siblings, but the women they tortured and killed. Hearing her recount everything that happened from her bite was really interesting and I really recommend this, though you should definitely read or listen with caution.
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