honestly, I don't know why it received a 3 star rating. This book changed my outlook! Dyre teaches us that Approval seeking is engrained in our culture. Some feel guilt and shame and are constantly seeking approval doubting themselves and not being able to decide or process their feelings to acheive compromise or a rational result. They value peoples opinions more than they value their own especially if those people they seek approval of are close and important to them. This develops at a very young age. It has to do with self-worth yes, but it develops at school, in our culture, from our parents attitudes. The best thing about this book is it gives you a very nice little test to take to determine which areas you really need to work on, Approval, Self-Love, Perfectionism, etc... I would recommend this book to anyone who has always doubted their own abilities and struggle with dependency and reliance on others to make their decisions for them. It teaches you how to disarm people who criticize you and makes you realize that people have different experiences, right or wrong. If you open yourself up to negativity, to vulnerability, then most people will tend to dump their insecurities on you. It teaches you to accept responsibility for your actions, to stop worrying about the future, to live in the now, and to stop saying sorry and apologizing for every single thing, mistake or not! One more thing, stop asking this or that person if your judgement is right or wrong. Think it through, write the negatives and positives (pros and cons) of feeling the way you do and then rationalize it. This will stop your impulsive behaviour to lash out. You think relationship books helps? THEY DON'T! These books do! If you want to have a meaningful relationship, start by building yourself, by accepting your mistakes, but not beating yourself up for it. The more you think positively, the more radiant and attractive you feel, and the more assertive your behaviour will be. Let me say that I am stating the obvious, and it is easier said than done! But running a marathon will probably be easier than changing your self-defeating habits. It will take time, take focus, (read Think Fast Think Slow) and it will take a lot of verbatim with yourself. Don't expect others to help you along the way, to seek marriage in order to seek security, to seek love for the sake of running away from your problems. The end result is disastrous! Seek instead self-love, self-worth, and accept people for who they are, accept what they say but never internalize it. you never know what people are really thinking, and you can never truly trust a person's judgement until you trust your own first! It is a book I will read and re-read and re-read! The one thing to keep in mind is that you need not only to read but to practice the things you've learned. So stop beating yourself up, compromise, disarm those who feed your negativity, and rationalize by taking nothing personally and start living your life the way you want and stop worrying about what others think of you. Accept love, stop fearing the outcomes, predict nothing, and enjoy every single minute! I hope this helps!