What do you think?
Rate this book
Don't Let Me Down: A Memoir
A fierce, vivid memoir about a father-daughter relationship steeped in God, rebellion, and the Beatles.
Erin Hosier’s coming-of-age was full of contradiction. Born into the turbulent 1970s, she was raised in rural Ohio by lapsed hippies who traded 1960s rock ‘n’ roll for 1950s-era Christian hymns. Her mother’s newfound faith was rooted in a desire to manage her husband’s mood swings, which could alternately fill the house with music or with violence.
All the while, Jack was larger than life to his adoring daughter. Full of conflict, their complex relationship set the tone for three decades of Erin’s relationships with men; the Beatles provided the soundtrack. Jack bonded with Erin over their iconic songs, even as they inspired her to question authority—both his and others’.
Don’t Let Me Down is about a brave girl trying to navigate family secrets and tragedies and escape from small-town small-mindedness. It is a searing and often funny exploration of how women first see themselves through the lens of a parent’s love, and of the ties that bind us to our childhood heroes, who ultimately lead us to ask that most profound of questions: Is love really all you need?
Erin Hosier’s coming-of-age was full of contradiction. Born into the turbulent 1970s, she was raised in rural Ohio by lapsed hippies who traded 1960s rock ‘n’ roll for 1950s-era Christian hymns. Her mother’s newfound faith was rooted in a desire to manage her husband’s mood swings, which could alternately fill the house with music or with violence.
All the while, Jack was larger than life to his adoring daughter. Full of conflict, their complex relationship set the tone for three decades of Erin’s relationships with men; the Beatles provided the soundtrack. Jack bonded with Erin over their iconic songs, even as they inspired her to question authority—both his and others’.
Don’t Let Me Down is about a brave girl trying to navigate family secrets and tragedies and escape from small-town small-mindedness. It is a searing and often funny exploration of how women first see themselves through the lens of a parent’s love, and of the ties that bind us to our childhood heroes, who ultimately lead us to ask that most profound of questions: Is love really all you need?
336 pages, Hardcover
Published February 5, 2019
About the author
Erin Hosier
1 book18 followersErin Hosier wished she could have gotten into Oberlin, but ended up at a state school where she defiantly refused to study English lit or creative writing, choosing instead public health education, with a concentration in human sexuality. Though she failed to graduate due to a mean rule about state math requirements, an internship at the popular sports/karaoke bar Slam Jams in Solon, Ohio, gave Hosier the cash she needed to get to the Big Town City, where another internship - this time at a magazine - introduced her to the concept of loving the work but hating the job. Book publishing seemed cool, though; a slower pace, a sense of purpose, book parties with glamorous middle aged people taking bored drags off Marlboro Lights (it was the year 2000), being louche, and talking about important debuts by writers in Brooklyn named Jonathan, always Jonathan (but which Jonathan?). The moment she learned that one pronounced the "K" in "Knopf," Hosier knew she wanted to make a living teaching other people the correct pronunciation. And because you probably don't even need to finish high school to be a literary agent, that's what she ended up becoming, officially, in December of 2001 when she sold her first manuscript a month after her father's sudden death.
Cut to ten years later: Hosier was still an agent known to work with debut writers of darkly comic memoirs and books about the history of rock n roll. On the side, she began to publish some writing of her own, more as a hobby, sometimes under a pseudonym. Personal essays about being single and online dating for Marie Claire & an early "women's interest" vertical on Yahoo.com, writing about haircare, writing about sensitive skin, writing book reviews. Ten years after her father died, Hosier found that she still had unfinished business with him and embarked on the memoir Don't Let Me Down, which took nearly ten more years to publish (Atria, 2019). In between, she helped drummer Patty Schemel write her addiction recovery story, Hit So Hard (Da Capo, 2017). She continues to live and agent in New York.
Cut to ten years later: Hosier was still an agent known to work with debut writers of darkly comic memoirs and books about the history of rock n roll. On the side, she began to publish some writing of her own, more as a hobby, sometimes under a pseudonym. Personal essays about being single and online dating for Marie Claire & an early "women's interest" vertical on Yahoo.com, writing about haircare, writing about sensitive skin, writing book reviews. Ten years after her father died, Hosier found that she still had unfinished business with him and embarked on the memoir Don't Let Me Down, which took nearly ten more years to publish (Atria, 2019). In between, she helped drummer Patty Schemel write her addiction recovery story, Hit So Hard (Da Capo, 2017). She continues to live and agent in New York.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
October 21, 2018
It seems rather unfair of me to give this book a low rating. It is a memoir so, in essence, I am saying "I didn't like the story of your life." But, I didn't like the story of her life (thus far.) The book purports to be about her relationship with her father and it is, to some extent, but it is much more about her own life and thoughts and beliefs and feelings. Which makes sense, given that a person can only view life from his or her own perspective.
Had Erin Hosier and I been classmates I would have been afraid of her. She was the type of girl I would have steered clear of. She comes off as angry and judgmental, disrespectful to teachers and those in authority and dismissive of those who do not share her beliefs. I am well aware I am more than a bit of a goody goody so the tales of promiscuous sex, drugs, and alcohol both shock and frighten me. But, I must acknowledge that her story is raw, she makes no effort to candy coat her life choices, and is neither apologetic or proud. She owns up to her mistakes and shares her regrets.
Although the story itself was not my cup of tea her writing is pretty flawless, Hosier definitely has talent. Additionally, if you are at all a music fan, particularly partial to the Beatles (and really, who isn't?) then you will likely appreciate what is, to a large extent, an homage to the fab four's contribution to the world of music. Chapters are cleverly titled after Beatles songs and for that I say, bravo!
Had Erin Hosier and I been classmates I would have been afraid of her. She was the type of girl I would have steered clear of. She comes off as angry and judgmental, disrespectful to teachers and those in authority and dismissive of those who do not share her beliefs. I am well aware I am more than a bit of a goody goody so the tales of promiscuous sex, drugs, and alcohol both shock and frighten me. But, I must acknowledge that her story is raw, she makes no effort to candy coat her life choices, and is neither apologetic or proud. She owns up to her mistakes and shares her regrets.
Although the story itself was not my cup of tea her writing is pretty flawless, Hosier definitely has talent. Additionally, if you are at all a music fan, particularly partial to the Beatles (and really, who isn't?) then you will likely appreciate what is, to a large extent, an homage to the fab four's contribution to the world of music. Chapters are cleverly titled after Beatles songs and for that I say, bravo!
April 14, 2019
2.5 on the blog.
This book was engaging in the middle third, when it was taking place during her college years and early career days, but the beginning was very dry and too simplistic in delivery, and the ending slipped back into that almost personal journal entry type writing.
The major subject matter in the first 30-40% was her "oppressive" Evangelical religious upbringing, but it must have been Evangelical extra-light because she got to do things like: listen to secular music, go to the movies, cheerlead in a public school, take ballet lessons wearing tights and short skirts, and baby sit for people who smoke, drank, and swore. She also only had to attend church once, sometimes twice a week, and I also don't know why she thought spankings with paddles and wooden spoons was exclusive to Evangelical parenting in the '70s. Her supposedly abnormally oppressive upbringing sounded pretty normal for religious households of any type. She was presenting it as extraordinary and it was basically ordinary. After the tragedy in her family, the writing went back to utilitarian again with no spark to it.
If it hadn't been a review book, I would have DNFed it somewhere in that first forty percent, and I see that others did. Many of the events could have been covered in a few paragraphs, but went on for pages. It should have been edited for content much more concisely.
I was approved for an eARC, via Netgalley, in return for an honest review.
This book was engaging in the middle third, when it was taking place during her college years and early career days, but the beginning was very dry and too simplistic in delivery, and the ending slipped back into that almost personal journal entry type writing.
The major subject matter in the first 30-40% was her "oppressive" Evangelical religious upbringing, but it must have been Evangelical extra-light because she got to do things like: listen to secular music, go to the movies, cheerlead in a public school, take ballet lessons wearing tights and short skirts, and baby sit for people who smoke, drank, and swore. She also only had to attend church once, sometimes twice a week, and I also don't know why she thought spankings with paddles and wooden spoons was exclusive to Evangelical parenting in the '70s. Her supposedly abnormally oppressive upbringing sounded pretty normal for religious households of any type. She was presenting it as extraordinary and it was basically ordinary. After the tragedy in her family, the writing went back to utilitarian again with no spark to it.
If it hadn't been a review book, I would have DNFed it somewhere in that first forty percent, and I see that others did. Many of the events could have been covered in a few paragraphs, but went on for pages. It should have been edited for content much more concisely.
I was approved for an eARC, via Netgalley, in return for an honest review.
March 9, 2019
Written by a literary agent, (maybe that gave me a push to pick it up.) It's supposedly a memoir about her relationship with her explosive Dad, set against their shared love of the Beatles. I can see why it was framed thusly, because all memoirs need a structure that will appeal to readers, and this is an appealing structure to be sure. But, it was only mildly okay. Were she not a literary agent, with, presumably, a good bunch of literary agent friends, this would not have gotten past a slush pile. It's just not good enough for that. I found her life interesting, and the way she told her story was okay, but none of it rises above "just okay."
March 1, 2019
I really thought this would rate higher when I started. The first half is the memoir was interesting and evocative of my own childhood in many ways. I appreciated the narrative voice and turns of phrase. But the disjointed recollections that worked for the most part in the first half became more and more distracting in the second. The author never used her adult perspective to tell us meaningfully about her father, instead jumping from one vignette to the next about her failed romantic relationships. I saw almost no connection between the two, despite her relatively tortured and cliched attempts to draw one. I also found her comments about new found wealth annoying and revealing about her character in a manner I don’t think she intended.
With only thirty pages left, I still was leaning toward a three-star review. The author unfortunate blew it and it truly was just okay.
With only thirty pages left, I still was leaning toward a three-star review. The author unfortunate blew it and it truly was just okay.
February 22, 2019
I think Erin has had some tough luck but the book just didn't make sense to me. It seemed like a memoir on the things many of us go through (first love, shitty boyfriends, university, divorce) but I couldn't figure out why I should care that about the author's experience. If anything many of these experiences aren't really followed through - HOW did you get over that? Do you still speak? How did you forgive your father? How are your brothers now?
Overall I just wasn't impressed although the writing, especially of her youth, was enjoyable.
Overall I just wasn't impressed although the writing, especially of her youth, was enjoyable.
January 5, 2019
I got 70 pp into this book and began to see how come people are giving it poor reviews. The ONLY redeeming thing about it is the intense “studying” of the music of her time growing up. For someone who works in “the business” of publishing, she must realize how much oversharing and teen diary angst this book is.
I will not recommend this book to anyone except to use as an example of “How Not to “Write a Memoir.” 1/5
I will not recommend this book to anyone except to use as an example of “How Not to “Write a Memoir.” 1/5
June 26, 2023
“Experience has taught me not to trust a man who listens to the Smiths and Morrissey all the time, because it likely means he’s still hung up on the first person to ever break his heart: his mother.”
The girls know I love a good memoir. Erin Hosier is funny, relatable and excellent. This book ripped at my chest and made me think but reading it also felt like being with an old friend at some parts. A lot of insight about love and grief and how complicated all of it is.
The girls know I love a good memoir. Erin Hosier is funny, relatable and excellent. This book ripped at my chest and made me think but reading it also felt like being with an old friend at some parts. A lot of insight about love and grief and how complicated all of it is.
January 24, 2019
Hmm...not as interesting as it sounded. it read like many of own stories from the time period. I think maybe our grandparents abdicated raising our parents. Anyway, we all survived the craziness in our own ways. I think maybe I'm not the audience for this one.
I received a Kindle Arc from Netgalley in exchange for a fair review.
I received a Kindle Arc from Netgalley in exchange for a fair review.
July 7, 2022
I came upon this book randomly after meeting the agent who rep'd the book through the Miami Book Fair. The book itself is as delightful as the agent behind it (who works at the same agency as the author, as an aside.) The whole time I read the book, all I could think was, "how on earth have I never heard of this book before?" It is the unsung hero of coming-of-age memoirs, stretching between suburban Ohio and New York and back again, and punctuated by but appealing to any girl from anywhere who's ever lived in search of a dream she didn't know she had, and had a mom, a dad, and siblings (so: anyone). Exquisitely written, insightful, fun, poignant, and structured around a "soundtrack" that makes you wish the book came with one. Even my dog liked the book! (He ate the upper corner of it, actually...and he seems to only like the books I like the most.) Hosier confronts serious, deeply personal moments with brushstrokes of humor and wit, juxtaposing teen angst with insight that applies to us all at some point. The only thing I didn't like about this book was arriving to its end. I haven't listened to the author's podcast yet (TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FATHER), nor read the book she co-authored (HIT SO HARD, co-authored with the drummer of Hole), but I sincerely hope that Ms. Hosier finds the time to write another book. It's clear she's got many books in her, and if they're anything like DON'T LET ME DOWN, they should be required reading for any aspiring writer or creative professional.
February 15, 2019
“Don’t Let Me Down” by Erin Hosier, published by Atria Books.
Category – Memoir Publication Date – February 05, 2019.
Erin Hosier was brought up in rural Ohio. Her life experiences were formulated in a small town with her parents providing a complex look at life. There was their Christianity that changed with their moods and inconsistent discipline.
Erin was probably most influenced by her father who had a thing for Rock n’ Roll, especially the Beatles. Much of his outlook on life would be drawn from the songs of the Beatles.
Erin, whose life was full of inconsistencies, thought going to Kent State would help her put her life together in some orderly fashion. The experiences she had at college just caused her more concern and problems. Upon graduation she thought her problems could be solved by moving to New York City, definitely not back to home and Ohio.
Erin becomes very successful in New York but she still cannot get her life together, she continues to have problems with friends, both boy and girl, life ideal logy, and her past history with her parents, especially her father.
A very good true account of becoming of age in a very difficult time and very difficult circumstances.
Category – Memoir Publication Date – February 05, 2019.
Erin Hosier was brought up in rural Ohio. Her life experiences were formulated in a small town with her parents providing a complex look at life. There was their Christianity that changed with their moods and inconsistent discipline.
Erin was probably most influenced by her father who had a thing for Rock n’ Roll, especially the Beatles. Much of his outlook on life would be drawn from the songs of the Beatles.
Erin, whose life was full of inconsistencies, thought going to Kent State would help her put her life together in some orderly fashion. The experiences she had at college just caused her more concern and problems. Upon graduation she thought her problems could be solved by moving to New York City, definitely not back to home and Ohio.
Erin becomes very successful in New York but she still cannot get her life together, she continues to have problems with friends, both boy and girl, life ideal logy, and her past history with her parents, especially her father.
A very good true account of becoming of age in a very difficult time and very difficult circumstances.
January 19, 2025
I usually like memoirs and I got far into this one because Erin is a good writer. However, I got far enough in to recognize that it feels like she holds a lot of bitterness, and the book feels like a therapy session where she just vents and is not really recognizing her own need for growth. She blames her parents for everything apparently still, and while our upbringing impacts us, we can't blame them for everything and we have to change ourselves and take ownership too. I just feel like more than it being reflective like memoirs should be, it's just offloading because she wants to be heard and absolved from guilt. But that's not how you find freedom. You find freedom by being humble and recognizing we're ALL broken and in desperate need of help, love, and growth.
I hope she comes to a place of brokenness that finally brings her freedom from everything that happened to her. But for my part, I did not want to continue reading her take. If she gets there eventually, maybe I'll give her new take a chance.
🩷🩷🙏🙏
I hope she comes to a place of brokenness that finally brings her freedom from everything that happened to her. But for my part, I did not want to continue reading her take. If she gets there eventually, maybe I'll give her new take a chance.
🩷🩷🙏🙏
October 23, 2020
This is still a disturbing family dynamic. I had not realized how much it has in common with Tara Westover's biography and her own uniquely dysfunctional family. The troubled Dad, and the disconnection from brothers as adults. The Beatles theme connected a bit more with me this time through. Having been to see the Rolling Stones with my own kids, I realize there remains a generational connection through music even in the age of i pods and personal play lists. Plus I can hear the tunes in my head as a reader, when I read the lyrics as a chapter title or in the text. Perhaps that is why this book is so under rated, not every potential reader actually knows the Beatles' play list in the same way certain generations experienced it. (A shared experience, over the radio. Where we all listened by default to the same stations and records, as a soundtrack to our lives.)
December 8, 2018
I received this book as a giveaway. I enjoy memoirs and found this author to be especially brave in making herself so vulnerable in telling the dark side of the challenges she has faced. There were certain moments in the writing that I found very profound and moving - especially some of the descriptions of her relationship with her brothers. Overall, the writing felt more like a collection of essays to me than a well-flowing story. Some of the themes (such as her father's influence on her) could have been more comprehensively incorporated throughout to make things feel less choppy.
April 29, 2019
I really liked this memoir, I respect how honest Erin is about her life, her relationship with her family, her struggles, and her dreams. Memoirs are special because they are unique recollections of what the author chooses to share with us. Erin is open and poignant about rape, drugs, sex, religion, divorce, childhood discipline and more. These are all topics that need more reflection and public discourse and she is offering her own life experiences to help others. This is life, people! Learn from her journey!
May 15, 2019
Though this isn't a graphic novel, it reminded me of Alison Bechdel's Fun Home, in that the author writes about painful personal experiences without ever giving the impression that she wants the reader to feel sorry for her. That can't be easy to pull off. Hosier also says that Ohio in the mid-nineties was "at least as vibrant as Minnesota," which is one of the most hilarious backhanded compliments I have ever read.
I recommend this book to anyone who is into autobio/memoir, as well as midwestern music nerds who grew up in the eighties and/or nineties.
I recommend this book to anyone who is into autobio/memoir, as well as midwestern music nerds who grew up in the eighties and/or nineties.
September 17, 2019
Compelling story about a daughter obsessed with a emotionally distant and sometimes violent father. Even though year of therapy and cathartic writing of this memoir, Erin doesn't seem to have my self-awareness. Her mom is a shadow in this entire narrative. Low rating due to the unevenness of the story, shallow representation of most characters. The best line in the book was that northern Ohio has 4 seasons - tornado, oppressive, blizzard and bitter. insight goes downhill from this phase - on page 9. Also - it is a stretch to frame everything in your life by Beattle lore.
January 2, 2020
Reading the reviews, I do not understand why people are saying it was difficult to care about what she was saying. I could not put this book down! Although Ms. Hosier and I have very different lives, I felt very connected to how she was feeling. She deals with a lot of difficult topics, but it is life. It is beautifully written, and since I am also a huge Beatles fan, I loved the connections. Actually, I want a sequel because I care so much about what happens next in her life! I truly wish her the best, her life is a crazy story that I loved reading about.
October 29, 2018
I thought a memoir about a father and daughter and their love of the Beatles would be a homerun since I feel like music of the 60's is so intertwined in my memories growing up, but this book was not hit for me. The beginning of the book held my attention, but as I read about Erin's failed relationships I just became frustrated and didn't really have empathy for her. The writing was good, but I never fully became emotionally invested in the story.
June 13, 2019
This is an honest and engaging memoir of a girl’s complicated relationship with her dad and how it affected her well into adulthood. Erin Hosier doesn’t try to sugarcoat the messiness that comes with loving people that are imperfect and sometimes incapable of giving back the love that you deserve. Though this memoir revolves around the relationship between her and her dad, this is also largely a coming-of-age story of a girl learning to love herself.
Read
August 20, 2019Like other reviews had mentioned, there was something maybe lacking at the beginning. It did take a while to get into it.
I liked the idea of the Beatles song intertwining into her life, and that is why I actually read it, but I feel perhaps she should have done that intertwining more explicitly.
After she moved away from home and her life in New York, I felt that is where her book really took off and was the most reflective.
I liked the idea of the Beatles song intertwining into her life, and that is why I actually read it, but I feel perhaps she should have done that intertwining more explicitly.
After she moved away from home and her life in New York, I felt that is where her book really took off and was the most reflective.
January 6, 2019
This book has a slow beginning, and I almost decided to stop reading it. But I pushed through. The story got really interesting to me after the first 50 pages. I actually really enjoyed this memoir. The ending was not super satisfying, but overall, this book was well worth its read. I especially liked her discussions of her relationship with her dad. I recommend!!
January 29, 2019
A story of Erin's childhood and constant journey to understand her father. The book was mostly about Erin trying to be good enough for her father who had some issues himself. It also was about their connecting through music. As an adult Erin also had a lot of issues connecting to men and letting her guard down. A little boring at times but all in all I enjoyed it.
I won this book for free
I won this book for free
June 14, 2019
(Trigger warning for abuse and sexual/drug content.) I can’t say it was a “good story,” but it was well-written. I wanted the author to work through all of her issues and find some healing. All the connections to the Beatles with her dad were endearing and meaningful. She struggles a lot in the book with Christians and the Church, and understandably so due to her experiences.
August 24, 2019
Someday I'd like to meet the author . As read in many reviews , this is a heartbreaking yet funny memoir based on the relationship between the author and her dad. It draws you close to her family and you feel like a friend accompanying Erin on her journey. It is an average length memoir and offers opportunity for the reader to self reflect.
May 7, 2022
An engaging, fun, and poignant memoir of a father-daughter relationship and its long lasting impact on the life of a young woman trying to figure out her place in the world. Erin Hosier's wry humour, Beatles references, jaw-dropping detail of 70s and 80s cultural trends, and insightful reflections make her narrative sing. It didn't let me down -- not one bit.
October 19, 2018
Erin Hosier has written a wonderful coming of age memoir. This relates to many generations including my own. The novel is addictive and full of insights and heartwarming humor! I look forward to more from this author.
December 31, 2018
I wanted to love this one, and there were parts that I did love. Those were the parts that kept me reading, but in the end I was left thinking maybe I should have stopped at the end of “side one” and that maybe, like I just was not a big enough fan to appreciate “side two.”
March 25, 2019
Engrossing memoir that captivates the reader with the personal, private and spot on sharing of outrageous parental behavior. Her last chapter speaks a truth we all learn - regardless of our treatment at the hands of our parents we want and need to love and be loved by them!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 1, 2019
Engaging story - I did find there were parts that got a bit dry and ended up skimming, BUT overall it was fascinating and relatable. There were a couple times where I would pause and think "oh, I didn't realize other people ALSO felt that way."
July 28, 2026
this has been such a flop reading year for me… and it’s about to flop more because i’m doing a huge move and therefore probably won’t be reading at all for a while! but anyway… here’s to hoping ‘27 is better! (and i stop picking books i know i wont like…)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews